milwaukeefanbxy

[milwaukeefanbxy]

that can't happen if I can't work 😉

imagine going into the job of your dreams thinking you’re going to get it and they pull up your tcc digital footprint.

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Very interesting article around how Jeff behaved in prison including nicknames he had for some of the prison guards.

The fact that most of the nicknames for the prison guards are cartoon characters highlights the childlike behaviour of Jeff, as well as most of his other behaviour mentioned here like colouring on his face, etc.

Also included a letter that he wrote to a male pal referencing the disciplinary unit he was placed in

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Reblog if you 🖤 Tboy c*ck

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Jeffrey cried when asked about his prison life.

Before the interview with Stone Phillips started, Stone casually asked, “How’s things going here for you?” Jeff replied, “Slow and steady,” trying to look casual and acting like it was nothing serious. “Nothing out of the ordinary, really.” But as soon as he finished the sentence, he quickly took a step back, pressed his lips together, and turned his head away, as if he was trying to hide his emotions. This all happened within a few seconds, but if you slow it down and zoom in, you could see that he actually cried, even his tears were visible. The reason such a simple and casual question triggered such an emotional response could be that he really had a terrible time in prison.

Here are some descriptions of Jeff’s prison life from an inmate’s book.

Immediately after Dahmer arrived, verbal abuse and threats against him began. “If I ever see you alone, I’ll kill you, you racist pig!” one inmate shouted. The shouts and jeers escalated. Dahmer never said a word. One inmate asked what he did with all his victims. No response. More questions and jeers flew at him like, “Did the male parts taste good?” or “did you have a feast with all those feet you had on hand?” Dahmer remained silent. The questions, swearing, threats, jokes, and comments continued and got louder. The noise continued all afternoon. When Jeff received his tray, some of the inmates started yelling again. “Does this taste better than human meat? Which one tastes better?” As before, Dahmer didn’t respond. They continued. “Hey, Jeff, do you prefer dark meat or white meat?” “He definitely preferred dark meat over white meat!” one of the white guys jeered. “Brother, Jeff consumed more red than white meat,” said one Hispanic inmate, laughing. No sound came from Cell 1. After a few minutes, one guy shouted, “Hey, Jeff, how’s the corpse?” That time, much to everyone’s surprise, Dahmer replied. “Chunky,” he said, “delicious and tasty.” Right after supper, the clamor started again. “Did you eat all the meat on your tray, you animal?” They continued calling him a racist and making other derogatory remarks that crossed their minds.

After my shower, other inmates passed Dahmer’s cell. They’d stand in front of his door and stare at him, as if he was a caged animal on display.

During and after showers that night, the inmates started again with their threats and jokes. Jeff never said a word in response to them. His silence made the guys mad, so they’d yell angry, vile curse words.

As the inmates returned, they slowed at Dahmer’s cell and it was the same old thing–abusive, threatening language hurled at him. I don’t know how Jeff could stand it every day.

Although protected in his cell, I could tell the other inmates seemed daunting to him, especially the ones who were so radical in the way they ridiculed and swore at him. His fear seemed to frustrate him. Many times daily, especially when they were passing by his cell, inmates would threaten him or spit on his window. They never let up.

[milwaukeefanbxy]

does he have an internalized homophobia ?

Jeffrey Dahmer is often seen as someone who was never truly able to express his sexuality openly and comfortably. The social attitudes of the 1980s and the stigma surrounding homosexuality may have contributed to his struggle with self-acceptance. Some sources suggest that his feelings of shame and isolation could have stemmed from repressed emotions related to his sexual identity.

Although Dahmer identified as gay, his interactions with his victims were marked more by control, loneliness, and a fear of abandonment than by intimacy or affection. For some psychologists, this indicates the possibility of a deep inner conflict and unresolved self-directed anger.

While this in no way excuses his actions, exploring these psychological layers can help us understand Dahmer not just as a “monster,” but as a profoundly disturbed individual grappling with complex emotional issues.

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Do you think Jeff was capable of loving someone, like a boyfriend? His BPD is making it very difficult to express proper ways of love another romantically.

This is a difficult question, because Dahmer’s emotional world was deeply shaped by his mental health struggles and traumatic history. If he did have borderline personality disorder (BPD), as some experts suggest, this could have made it extremely difficult for him to form stable, loving romantic connections.

People with BPD often struggle with intense fears of abandonment, unstable self-image, and difficulty regulating emotions — all of which can make expressing love in a healthy, consistent way very challenging.

Jeff often spoke of his fear of being alone and his deep desire for someone to stay with him — permanently. In that sense, it seems he did crave connection. But his way of expressing that need was tragically distorted by control, obsession, and desperation.

Maybe he wanted to love, but didn’t know how to — and that inability may have been one of his most haunting internal battles.

[milwaukeefanbxy]

I was among three people who tried to rescue as much as possible from Lionel Dahmer's house while he was still alive. My friend from Portugal and I coordinated with another person who lived in the area to rescue items from the home that were being found in the garbage. Unfortunately, most was lost forever.

Along with diaries and letters, some personal belongings from Dahmer’s childhood remain with his family. These have never been publicly displayed or detailed.

Source: Statements by Lionel Dahmer, 2010

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Ao3 wasn't made for antis it was made for proshippers

Ao3 wasn't made for antis it was made for proshippers

Ao3 wasn't made for antis it was made for proshippers

Ao3 wasn't made for antis it was made for proshippers

Ao3 wasn't made for antis it was made for proshippers

Ao3 wasn't made for antis it was made for proshippers

Ao3 wasn't made for antis it was made for proshippers

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Bro, I know exactly what he felt like. That was me as a teen. The only two people who I felt truly loved and understood me were my cat and my grandmother. When they died, I went straight back into those feelings. The first time I was ever hospitalized was in December of 2012, because I was fired from my first job and lost my first apartment.

I also have horrible intrusive thoughts about sex and violence. You can't talk about them with anyone.

That's the reason why Jeff is my favorite. Because I lived through what he did. I just wish that he had gotten help and worked through his trauma like I have.

jeff must have been so lonely in his teens and how sad his life must have been :(

[milwaukeefanbxy]

[milwaukeefanbxy]

dahmer you live in my mind forever idiot

[milwaukeefanbxy]

[milwaukeefanbxy]

im joining the war on gross disgusting pornographic content on the side of gross disgusting pornographic content

[milwaukeefanbxy]

“When we sat down to talk, I was surprised to see how quick Jeff Dahmer opened up. I asked him about his feelings when all this [the murders] was happening and you know, was he really into this sort of thing. He said it was like he was operating in a mechanical fashion and it was as if he was looking down at himself and watching it occur. This is a clear indication of dissociation. Dissociation carried out to its end would be Multiple Personality Disorder. It was like there were two Jeffs. One was into the horror of it all and the other was standing back and watching. He said: ‘A blanket would settle over me and I’d get this very horrible feeling of loss’. His last victim told me that when he left, Jeffrey was in the bedroom, he was rocking and he was chanting and seemed to be in some sort of super state. When this young man came back, several hours later with the police, Jeffrey hadn’t budged he was doing the same thing.”

- FBI Profiler Robert Ressler on Jeffrey Dahmer

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Jeffrey Dahmer's High School Years

Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ

Jeff Dahmer attended Revere High School in Richfield, Ohio, a town near his home in Bath, Ohio from 1975 to 1978. Even though his teachers and classmates recalled Jeff was very intelligent, the boy’s grades were only average throughout the years. According to his father Lionel Jeff “would sometimes get an A, other times he’d get a D”. An example of an excellent school project of his (an essay he did for science class) was recently sold online, showing that only two points were missing for him to reach the maximum score.

Aᴄᴛɪᴠɪᴛɪᴇs Iɴ Sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ

Although Jeff displayed that he was able to achieve decent results in class he never showed a long lasting interest in any activities school related and quit most of the activities he started shortly after. It was mostly his dad who encouraged his oldest son to try out new things, hoping Jeff might eventually find passion in some.

In his junior year Jeff worked for the school’s newspaper called “The Lantern” but quit after only a year. Just as he was part of the school’s band for a short amount of time, playing the cornet.

During his years in high school there was only one activity he stuck to for more than a year and that was to be tennis. A sport he was good at since his father taught him from an early age on. He was also the main reason Jeff kept on going with the sport, recalling that he only kept on playing in the school’s team so his dad ‘didn’t continue nagging on him not to quit’. In total Jeff stayed in the team for three years however he never appeared on any yearbook’s picture as a team member since he mostly kept his talent to himself and played only intramural – if he played any match at all. It’s said that while on the tennis court Jeff pulled pranks most of the times instead of playing.

But his father didn’t give up on his son Jeff. In 1976 he sent him to a two weeks summer tennis camp. He went together with a friend who later told that nothing out of the ordinary had happened during these two weeks however it was in summer of ’76 where he and other friends of Jeff realized that Dahmer suddenly had turned from just being the ‘strange’ kid to being very ‘dark and scary’.

In his final year at high school Jeff focused less on playing tennis and more on smoking weed and drinking. While others continued with their activities and prepared for their graduation Jeff roamed around the school without any visible reason or watched his school mate Derf drawing banners and posters for the hallway.

Dᴏɪɴɢ A Dᴀʜᴍᴇʀ

Jeff was the ‘class clown’ from early on. “Jeff liked to tell jokes. He liked to act goofy”, his father Lionel said. But the jokes performed by Jeff had not always been funny. On most occations his class mates didn’t laugh about the prank Jeff pulled but about Jeff himself and felt embarrassed about his behavior.

“He could make people laugh but what made him different about that was that he always made himself the target of ridicule in doing that. He would always set himself up in these very bizarre situations and often people laughed because they were so embarrassed both for him and for themselves.”— M. Schmidt (former class mate)

During his sophomore year Jeff started to ‘throw fake epileptic fits and mimicked the slurred speech and spastic tics of someone with celebral palsy’. It’s possible he copied this from his mother’s interior decorator who had this illness. Jeff didn’t seem to like him. He once told that ‘the only thing this man ever did was buying a footstool for the house”. Words and exclaimations Jeff made in his ‘special voice’ randomly over and over again reached from bleating like a sheep to distorting people’s names or words. His common way to greet his friends in the morning was by saying “Gweetings” and moving his arms in a to him ‘funny’ way. ‘Dahmerisms’ his friends called the phrases Jeff repeated on a daily basis.

Other pranks he pulled was running through the halls yelling “Hurricane drill!” or tracing outlines of bodies on the school room floor with chalk for laughs.

Soon the group of friends Dahmer was attached to called this “Doing a Dahmer” and invented the so called “Dahmer Fan Club”, choosing the school band’s room as their club room for meetings. Finding Jeff’s behavior entertaining members of the club came up with more and more ideas for him to do. One of these ideas was to convince Dahmer to sneak into every yearbook picture possible. So it happened that his face got blacked out on one picture he actually didn’t belong in before it went into print.

“He did things for attention”— B. Geiger (Jeff Dahmer’s high school prom date)

One day during the final year at high school the ‘Dahmer Fan Club’, along with other students, collected money for Jeff to make him pull a variety of pranks at the nearby ‘Summit Mall’. They called it “Dahmer’s Command Performance” and lastly collected about $30-35 to make him do it. On their way to the mall Jeff got into the mood for his upcoming performance by drinking an entire six-pack of beer within only ten minutes. Once arrived at the mall he’d run up the escalator the wrong way, knocked over glasses at “The Harvest House” cafeteria, put his mouth full of food samples, such as seeds, just to spit them out right after, yelling “I’m allergic!”

Yet not everything he did was cringe worthy. There were situations his charm and behavior impressed people around him. At the age of seventeen Jeff went on a school trip to Washington DC. Out of boredom he told his class mates that he would find a way to get them into the White House. So he went to a pay phone and was actually able to talk his way into getting his class to visit the White House and even meet former Vice President Walter Mondale. Later, during his army days, Jeff put a picture of Walter Mondale on his wall and made his bunk mates wonder about that since he didn’t seem to be interested in politics at all.

Pʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍs ᴀᴛ Sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ

Even though Jeff was attached to a group of people he was still considered a loner and a ‘nerd’. He was the only boy at school who would use a briefcase as his school bag (which he still used during his time at the army as a ‘portable liquor bar’).

Fellow students claimed that Dahmer had started drinking and smoking weed suddenly. At the age of sixteen he had developed a noticable drinking problem, bringing one-two bottles of hard liquor to school each week. It’s said that Jeff was the first kid at school in the morning so he could start drinking early and he even didn’t stop as he sat in class. It’s said that he drank scotch out of a styrofoam cup. When class mates asked him about it he just answered “that’s my medicine”. During his senior year Jeff was once caught drinking by a teacher. Jeff was allowed to choose his punishment himself. Either his parents had to be called or he had to get spanked by the teacher. He chose the latter.

Sᴇɴɪᴏʀ Hɪɢʜ Sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ Pʀᴏᴍ

Eighteen years at that point Jeff went to the annual senior high school prom with sixteen year old Bridget Geiger. Jeff had been her first date and also Jeff himself hadn’t been on a date before either. The day prior the prom Dahmer came up to the girl and asked: “Mike said you go to the prom with me, is that right?” – He could have asked earlier but according to Geiger he was too afraid to ask her.

“He was scared to death of touching or that I was going to kiss him”— B. Geiger (Jeff Dahmer’s prom date)

When Jeff went to Bridget’s home before the prom he was visibly nervous. His hands were shaking so intensely that he failed to pin the corsage, so the girl’s mother had to do it eventually. Jeff basically was ‘too afraid of sticking her with the pin’. Before attending the actual prom Jeff and Bridget went out for dinner in a fancy restaurant. Jeff didn’t eat much though since he felt too nervous to eat anything. His nervousness didn’t flatten during the night. Shortly after the couple arrived at the prom, Bridget told she thought Jeff might have went to the bathroom – but he didn’t come back to her again. Jeff had left the scene and went to McDonald’s.

He returend hours later, apologizing to his date that he might have had embarrassed her. He had even kept the McDonald’s paper bag, showing her the cheeseburger wrapping paper to prove that he was telling the truth. Lastly Jeff took Bridget home at around 11pm with two hours spare and shook her hand as a goodbye.

Lᴀsᴛ Dᴀʏ ᴏғ Hɪɢʜ Sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ & Gʀᴀᴅᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ Dᴀʏ

Jeffrey Dahmer’s final day at Revere was without much joy. It’s said that he was drunk and walked around the halls that day, lurking around the band room, where the ‘Dahmer Fan Club’ used to meet. At the end of the school day he took the bus to get home.

The graduation ceremony took place on Sunday, June 4th 1978 at the Richfield Coliseum. Around two thousand people were there to celebrate the students. After the ceremony there had been a traditional ‘Senior All-Night Party’ but Jeff did not attend.

Sources used:

Masters, Brian “The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer”

Dahmer, Lionel “A Father’s Story”

Dvorchak, Robert “Milwaukee Massacre”

“My Friend Dahmer” Blog

“Milwaukee Cannibal – Documentary”

Backderf, Derf “My Friend Dahmer”

Revere Yearbooks

Interview with Bridget Geiger

[milwaukeefanbxy]

Music Jeffrey Dahmer liked to listen to:

Neil Sedaka (during High School. He went with a friend to "Blossom Music Center" in Ohio in 1976 or 1977)

Def Leppard - Hysteria (the cassette was found in his apartment 213)

Iron Maiden (in Germany he decorated his room with posters of the band)

Black Sabbath (mentioned in various articles)

Clock DVA (according to a newspaper article their album "Buried Dreams" was on repeat the time he got arrested)

The Beatles - I Am The Walrus (a fellow college student told that Jeff listened to this song over and over again)

Motley Crew - You're All I Need (mentioned in articles)

In prison:

Mint Condition - Breaking My Heart (according to Lyfe Jennings, who was a fellow inmate of Jeff's, Dahmer asked him to sing this song to him since 'he liked R&B')

After his death various cassettes were found in his cell: Mozart, Handel and Tchaikovsky (Haven't come across any evidence he actually listened to 'whale sounds' as the Netflix series claims. A female pen pal recommended 'whale songs' to him, and Dahmer replied that he hasn't tried it out yet.)

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A soldier took this picture of Dahmer on his barracks bed in west Germany in 1979. “Biginning Friday afternoon he would drink, pass out, wake up and start again,” said the former Army barracks roommate. “He’d be in his own little world”.