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mimiof4grands-blog · 8 years ago

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Eulogy from St. Luke 5/4 2006 and St. Jude 5/5/2006 Good Evening and Welcome to St. Luke. Thanks to everyone who helped to plan and present this service. It’s been a labor of love for many. Thanks to everyone who has held us up during this time. All of you that are present and many who are not here have made our days easier. The outpouring of, prayers, cards and wishes humble us. God is good – all of the time! A month ago today on April 4th, several dozen people gathered here for a Community Healing Service. I asked to speak of our own recent trials with my new cancer diagnosis and the power of faith and prayer. Little did I realize that I would be here again today -- this time after John’s sudden death. Life is full of surprises but also holds promises of hope, healing and God’s grace. There are not enough words to describe John. He was small but mighty. Years ago before we got married his little mommy, who is here and soon to celebrate her 90th birthday, said to John “You’re not going to make her wear flats the rest of her life, are you?” He always loved to say that I had height and reach on him. He was a wonderful husband and soul mate of 37 years, father, son, brother, brother-in-law, uncle and friend to hundreds. He was not only known internationally but remembered his roots. Last summer he attended his All School reunion where he renewed many friendships and undoubtedly told many stories and a few lies. There is a man here tonight who came as a new kid to the elementary school in Luverne MN and had a hard time fitting in. I just heard over the past few days how John befriended him when others would not. John could still recall the house numbers of the folks on his newspaper route when talking to his Mom. It was that special gift of recall that he had. John was a great boss, a critical thinker, a problem-solver, an outstanding scientist and writer, and mentor to hundreds. Could I have a show of hands regarding the “red pen” notes he made on items and handed back? He loved and gave many years to the University of Southern California and the University of Minnesota. But oh how he loved St. Jude and his 22 years there. Recently someone asked him how he could work at St. Jude with all that illness and suffering around him. His reply was that “it was the best job in the world”. That was true until 4 years ago -- when his favorite job became a “Boppa” to Rachel and then to Sara. He adored his girls. He didn’t get that fishing trip with Rachel but she had her first fishing line in the water about the time he died on Saturday. Tonight we all walked through the doors with struggles and needs – job concerns, health issues, financial troubles, raising kids, raising parents, children with special needs, relationship difficulties, getting good grades, choosing friends and career paths and more. Bad things happen but how we react to them is the key. Some of us are suffering now, some of us will suffer later but all of us suffer someday. God is faithful and will hold us up in our suffering. We all need to look for and celebrate small moments in each day that God gives us. David reminds us in Ps. 118:24 “This is the Day which the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!”. Sometimes the little things get overlooked – birds singing early in the morning, stars at night, blooming things despite all the pollen and so on. A recent note reminds us to “Tell your friends and family how much you love them now. It does no good when they are gone. I would rather have one rose from a friend while I’m here that a whole truckload when I’m gone.” I’d like to share a message we received from some dear friends. “Words are so inadequate at times like this when feelings are so strong. Ever since we heard the news on Saturday, we have been lifting you up to God in prayer. We know that He will provide comfort and care for you. He has already provided for John through His assurance of eternal life. We remember and celebrate John for the special person he was. The Christian who loved the Lord, the knowledgeable professional who touched so many lives, the caring Father, the Boppa who so adored his granddaughters and a loving husband. It was so evident how much he loves you just by his look at you. You were very fortunate to have shared life with John and we were very fortunate to have known him.” We have to maintain our God-given sense of self and sense of humor while we hold on and feel the joy of the ride! We try to find hope and look for the good in all situations. To celebrate John’s 60th birthday and the birthday of dear friend Dick Hedin who turns 60 today we planned a catamaran sailing trip to the British Virgin Islands on May 13. Josh and I will be keeping that trip and perhaps taking a little bit of John with us! Oh yes some cigars and Scotch too! Abraham Lincoln once said “It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.” So let’s use whatever time we have left to live out the mission that God created for us. Let’s use our good dishes, mend fences, set out fresh flowers, heal old wounds, Say “I love you” to our loved ones, hold hands more and reconcile our differences. Dr. Al B. Weir, a local oncologist wrote: “I will not lose; I will substitute. I will not stop; I will turn. I am here for others, not just myself. I am not alone; God and those I love are with me.” There are several devotionals that I read daily: Mom’s perpetual calendar for May 4 says, "Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations". Today's Daily word for Women speaks of golden moments of togetherness, laughter, tears and conversation with family and friends that bring the greatest fulfillment. Today is one of those golden moments. Finally, we all have much work to do and should ask for God’s grace and guidance in our days ahead. There will be trying times but there will be better days also. Once again, God is good – all of the time! We are blessed. Let the people of God say….

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mimiof4grands-blog · 8 years ago

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HEAR

I AM A FACE OF OVARIAN CANCER

My name is Carol Rodman and I’m a 69 yo retired nurse, mom of 2, mother-in-law of 2, and Mimi of 4 grands. I’m also a survivor of breast cancer in 2003 and a 2 time survivor of late stage ovarian cancer in 2006 and 2010.

My cancer journey began in 1977 when my sister, Joan, was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer. She went on to have ovarian cancer and died at age 37 when her kids were 15, 11, and 6. On the day she was due to enter hospice she drove from their farm into town through deep snow to buy gifts for everyone. She was a wild one and middle child who, at age 14, shaved her eyebrows off when she got grounded. I’m not sure what she was thinking!

Cancer next appeared in 1997 when my 80 yo mom had a mastectomy for last stage breast cancer. So in 2003 when my gynecologist found a lump in my right breast, I wasn’t too surprised, given our family history. The treatment was lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. The genetic testing results were “inconclusive” which meaning there was a mutation but it couldn’t be specifically Identified.

Because of my family history, we discussed options of bilateral mastectomies and/or a total hysterectomy, But I was working full-time, had a new granddaughter and it got put on the back burner. If I knew then what i know now…but we can’t go backwards.

3 years later I was due for a routine colonoscopy, but it was postponed when my mom was in failing health. I’m so glad that I spent the last 4 days with her before she died of complications from Alzheimer’s disease. When I got home I rescheduled the colonoscopy and had a routine gyn exam which was negative.

A few weeks later I started having belly pain,feeling full quickly after eating and had increased waist size. I didn't realize those were symptoms of ovarian cancer. I thought it was overeating when mom died and all those holiday meals. A friend told me that someone she knew was having belly pain and thought it could be colon or ovarian cancer. Of course I did what everyone does and “GOOGLED” the symptoms. It sure sounded like ovarian cancer given my family history. I said the same thing to my husband John, Director of Pharmacy and scientist at a children’s research hospital in Memphis. He replied “you don't have ovarian cancer’ but he didn't sound very convincing. Months later I found mounds of paperwork and articles on his desk proving that he had thought the same thing.

The colonoscopy was scheduled for later that month but I called and INSISTED that I have a physical exam as soon as possible. He felt my belly and left without saying a word. I waited for what seemed like an eternity before going into the hall, clutching my gown and asked to see him. When he returned he explained that he felt a large mass and had ordered a CT scan. When the phone rang a couple days later he told us that it found widespread late stage ovarian cancer. We all started crying and my then 4 yo granddaughter said “Mimi, come color with me and you’ll feel better.” She’s now 14 and remains a champion for me.

Four days later I was in the care of a specialist called a gynecological oncologist. The needle biopsy showed the cancer was Stage 3C meaning that it had spread to nearby organs and lymph nodes. We developed a plan to first give chemo to shrink the tumor, followed by a hysterectomy. By week’s end a portacath had been inserted and my first dose of chemo was given.

Because John was a scientist, he was able to personalize the dose and I was able to have it every 2 weeks instead every 3 weeks so we could “give it our best shot.”

After chemo finished the CT scan showed that the mass was definitely smaller and I had a hysterectomy. The surgeon saw very little evidence of disease and was very optimistic. The next best news that day was the birth of Abigail Carol, granddaughter of my late sister and named for me.

My recovery went all and 3 weeks later I began receiving chemo directly into my abdomen and vein. One night I told John that I wasn’t afraid of dying. He said “We all die but living is the hard part”.

5 days later he was getting ready for work but didn’t feel well. He rested a bit and left saying “see you later.” An hour later the nursing supervisor where he worked called and said he’d been found in full cardiac arrest. They transported him the the Medical Center and I called the kids to tell them — both of them were out of town.

When I got to the ER I could tell from the staffs’ faces that he’d died. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was calling our kids while touching his chest and tell them their daddy died.

Because the chemo was time-sensitive and I was determined to “give it our best shot” I had treatment 2 days later. By week’s end we’d had 2 memorial services including one where I gave the eulogy. I enjoyed trips with each of our kids that John and I had planned but that’s when “the hard part” started.

3 months after my surgery I’d completed 5 of the 6 rounds of chemo with few side effects but my will to live was failing. I contemplated suicide and was hospitalized. With counseling, medication, faith and support of family and friends I survived and thrived but it takes hard work every day. I couldn't leave our kids as orphans and my granddaughters without their Mimi.

2 years later a more specific genetic test became available. I had it done and found that I had the genetic mutation which made it likely that I’d get breast and ovarian cancer again. I was advised to have bilateral mastectomies.

The day before surgery we had a “Life Is Good” party complete with boob cake. I had successful surgery and was back home in 23 hours. Because I wasn’t sure how long I had to live I didn’t have reconstruction. Instead I took a breast cancer cruise and went parasailing instead!

2 years later a routine CT scan showed a malignant lymph node by the aorta. Because of its critical nature, I was referred to a New York City hospital. I recall the day of the consult when the surgeon sounded optimistic despite the serious news — I hugged him and thanked him for giving me HOPE. Only 1 of the 9 nodes was malignant so I went home to have more chemo. 6 months after surgery I celebrated by skydiving! The breast surgeon said “We’re trying to keep you alive and you jump out of a perfectly good plane?” Next on my bucket list is tandem paragliding at Del Sur.

Ovarian cancer is considered a chronic disease and because of the aggressive form I had scans and blood work very 3-4 months. Now because I’m 6 1/2 years out, I’ve graduated to annual testing.

Because of side effects from chemo, this is my 4th head of hair. I also have peripheral neuropathy and hearing loss. BUT I’m alive to enjoy life with 3 grandchildren here in San Diego and 1 grandson in VA.

I’m HOPEFUL that I’ll remain cancer-free and be around for a long time. My hope for you today is that we put faces to this disease, that you’ll remember our stories and what you’ve learned. Thank you.

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mimiof4grands-blog · 8 years ago

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Survivors Teaching Students

I AM A FACE OF OVARIAN CANCER

My name is Carol Rodman and I’m a 69 year old retired nurse, mother of 2 and Mimi of 4. I’m also a survivor of Stage 2B breast cancer in 2003 and Stage 3C ovarian cancer in 2006 and 2010.

My cancer story began in 1977 when my sister was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. She died of ovarian cancer at 37 when her kids were 15, 11 and 6. JoAnn was a wild woman who, on the day I drove her to hospice, plowed through deep snow in her station wagon into town to buy gifts for her family.

Cancer appeared again 20 years later in 1997 when my 80 yo mother had a mastectomy for late stage breast cancer. So 9 years later when my gynecologist found a lump in my right breast I wasn’t too surprised given my family history.

My treatment was a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. Genetic testing showed an “unknown variant” which meant there was a mutation but couldn’t be specifically identified. Options were having bilateral mastectomies and/or a hysterectomy but I was working full-time, had a new granddaughter and frankly it got put on the back burner. If I knew then what I know now .. but we can’t go backwards.

Only 2 years later my routine colonoscopy and gyn exam were due but were postponed because my mother was in failing health. She passed away and the exams were rescheduled.

The gyn exam was negative but just a few weeks later I had belly pain, felt full quickly, was exhausted and had increased waist size. However, I attributed it to stress eating over the holidays and when mom died. A friend told me that her mom was having belly pain and thought it might be colon or ovarian cancer. I did what every good nurse or nursing student or medical student did - I GOOGLED my symptoms. It sure sounded like ovarian cancer given my family history. When I told my husband John, Director of Pharmacy and scientist at a children’s research hospital in Memphis, he said “you don’t have ovarian cancer” but he didn’t sound very convincing. Later I found mounds of articles proving that he WAS thinking the same thing.

The colonoscopy was scheduled for later in the month but I called and INSISTED on an exam before the procedure. The gastroenterologist came in, felt my belly and left without saying a word. I waited for what seemed like an eternity so I went into the hall, clutching my paper gown and asked to see him. When he returned he said felt a large mass and scheduled a CT scan. Later he said that if the procedure had been done, the bowel could have been perforated.

The phone rang 3 days later and he said the scan showed widespread late stage ovarian cancer. We were stunned, started to cry when my 4 yo granddaughter said “Mimi, come color with me and you’ll feel better.” She remains a champion for me!

We took the CT scan to the clinic where I’d been treated for breast cancer for had lab work and a consult with a gyn-onc surgeon. When I heard her name, Dr. Linda Smiley, I knew I was in good hands. The plan was for chemo to shrink the tumor, followed by a hysterectomy and placement of a catheter to deliver chemo into my belly. By week’s end I’d had needle biopsy showing Stage 3C adenocarcinoma, a portacath inserted and got my first dose of chemo. Because John was a researcher he was able to personalize the dose which I had every 2 weeks rather than every 3 so we could “give it our best shot”. I’m now convinced that he saved my life.

After finishing pre-op chemo, a CT scan showed that the football sized mass had shrunk dramatically. In early April I had a total debulking hysterectomy, removal of the omentum, mesentery and several malignant lesions. During surgery my church group had 40 people that prayed continuously in the hospital chapel. Dr. Smiley was extremely optimistic because she saw very little evidence of disease. The next best news that day was the birth of Abigail Carol, granddaughter of my late sister and named after me! 3 days later when Dr. Smiley walked in I was completely dressed and she said “I guess you’re going home today.”

My recovery went well and 3 weeks later I had the first chemo into my belly and intravenously. It went well but I felt like the Michelin guy with 2 liters of fluid in my abdominal cavity. One night I told John that I wasn’t afraid to die. He said “we all die but living is the hard part.”

A few days later he was ready to go to work but said he didn’t feel well. He rested for a bit and said “see you later.” About an hour later a nursing supervisor where he worked called to say he’d been found in full cardiac arrest.

They took him to the medical center and I called the kids to say he’d been taken there. When I arrived I could tell by everyone’s faces that John had died. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was to call the kids while touching his chest that say that their Daddy had died.

Because chemo was time-sensitive and I was determined to “give it our best shot”, I had the second round 2 days later. By week’s end we’d had 2 memorial services, one where I gave the eulogy.

In there next 2 months between chemo I took 2 trips that John and I had been planned. I took my son on the sailing trip to the British Virgin Islands and my daughter on a trip to Barcelona for a conference where John was honored.

After completing 5 of 6 chemo with very few side effects “living the hard part” began. Because I’d lost my husband, my job and my will to live, I contemplated suicide and was hospitalized. With intense therapy, medication and support from my family, friends and faith community I not only survived but thrived!

Two years later I had a more specific genetic test. One night as I was sipping wine with friends, the phone rang and the genetic counselor called to say that I had the BRCA1 mutation. The next call was from the breast surgeon and I asked what was next. He strongly advise bilateral mastectomies. By the way, my brother and my sister’s kids all have the mutation but my kids don’t.

At my pre-exam the mammographer drew happy faces on my boobs. When the surgeon came in he said “I see Mary Ann has been here.” Gotta find laughs where you can!

The day before surgery we had a “Life is Good” party complete with pony rids for the kids, a friend videotaping and a BOOB cake! I left the hospital only 23 hours after surgery and because I was unsure of my prognosis I chose NOT to have reconstruction. Instead I went on a Breast Cancer Survivor cruise where I parasailed and zip-lined instead!

Only a year later a routine CT scan showed a tumor by the aorta. Because of the position of the lesion I was referred to a New York City hospital. Despite it being a metastatic lesion the surgeon was very optimistic and I hugged him for giving me HOPE. He offered surgery by laparoscope or incision and I chose incision so he could “check under the hood”. I heard later at a conference that he has the best hands for finding cancer.

Only 1 of the 9 lesions was malignant and I returned home for chemo. Once more we had a “Life is Good” party and I went skydiving! One of my surgeons said “We’re trying to keep you alive and you jump out of a perfectly good airplane.” My bucket list now includes tandem hang gliding at Torrey Pines!

Because ovarian cancer is a chronic diseases like diabetes, I was followed every 6 months with CA125s and CT scans. Now that I’m 6 years out from my recurrence I’m considered a long term survivor my testing is yearly.

One chemo drug caused hearing loss so I wear hearing aids. Another caused peripheral neuropathy but I soothe the pain with a Snickers Blizzard - eaten, worn. Plus I’ve lost my hair 3 times. Side effects are a nuisance but they mean that the chemo worked! I’m alive and hopeful that I’ll stay in remission of many years to enjoy the kids and their spouses, my grands and friends.

Two more things — please get family histories and be your own best advocate in everything, not just health concerns. If a doctor won’t listen to you, find one who will. One lady listened to her body and challenged a doctor to “prove to me that I DON”T have ovarian cancer” - guess what? She was right.. she DID have it.

My daughter’s family with 3 grands lives here in San Diego and my son’s family with 1 grand lives in VA. They all make this crazy journey worthwhile!

My hope for you is that we’ve put faces to this disease, that you’ll remember our stories and what you’ve learned today. If that happens, we’ve done our job and feel you’ll be even better healthcare providers.

Thank you.

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