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Happy Birthday to Me

Every year I try to have a good birthday...

& every year it gets shittier, smh.

I can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve had a great birthday, and it’s been like that for as long as I can remember. You’d think that the day you were born would always be filled with happiness and moments where you’re surrounded by love and laughter. You’re supposed to be the center of attention for a day and do everything that makes you happy. This one day is supposed to feel more special than every other day in the year because that’s the day “a special somebody” (supposedly you) were brought into this world. For a lot of people, that’s exactly what their birthday is. But what about the people who aren’t so lucky?

We’ve done a great job of praising the people who are showered with gifts and affection every year on their birthday, but what about the people who just live like it’s another day? Or those who want to celebrate but don’t have money to just do whatever they like. Hell, what about those who make plans but are still treated as if it’s just another day. Just sit and think about it. Do you have a friend who barely celebrates their birthday? What did you do for them to make them feel special? (No, showing up doesn’t count cause if you’re a real friend, that would be a given)

What did you do differently for your friend so they really felt like it wasnt just another day? Did you help them figure out what they’d wear for the special day? Give them a ride to where they’re going? When something went wrong, did you let your attitude get the best of you or remind yourself that it’s not about you? Were you on time? Did you bring positive vibes to the atmosphere? If the atmosphere was ruined already (or you ruined it), did you try to pick it up? Were you excited to be doing what your friend wanted to do regardless of whether it was something you wanted to do or not? Did you do anything for them that you would expect someone to do for you on YOUR special day?

If the answer is yes and you were able to name a few things you’ve done for your friend, congratulations! You understand what it means to put someone else first. You know how to step outside of yourself for even just a day so that someone else can have what they want even if it has nothing to do with what you want.

If the answer is no and you can’t think of anything, you have some growing to do, my friend, & it’s not a terrible thing, but it is definitely something you should be aware of. 

As much as people may not want to admit it, birthdays are important. It is literally the day someone entered this world as a human being and began living life. Why shouldn’t that be special?? You made it! One minor thing could have happened November 4, 1993 to alter the entire outcome, but I AM HERE! That’s big. I didn’t really understand that for a big chunk of my life because my birthdays were always horrible, but now that I’m older and I have grown, I can say without a doubt that my birthday is important to me. God saw fit to let me see the light for some reason on that day and heck yeah, I wanna celebrate it and I expect everyone who claims to love me to celebrate it and me, but that’s not really the case a lot of the time. I’ve realized over time and looking back that most of my birthdays were ruined by people who told me they loved me. Their attitudes, their needs, their desires to do what makes them happy instead of what would make me happy. & for a long time, I felt selfish for feeling like this. I’d tell myself “oh you should just be happy anyone remembered” or “just be glad they showed up”. No. I am not happy you remembered nor am I glad you showed up. That’s simple ass shit that I should not have to ask for from people who love me. To be real, I’d probably have better birthdays on an island in the middle of the ocean with God and a soccer ball if people are gonna act like it’s just an average day.

Secondly, I realized I had also been ruining a lot of my own birthdays. Not by having a negative mindset (cause I truly wake up every year speaking a good day on myself), but by even taking into account other people in the first place. I’ve always tried to make things convenient for other people on a day that was about me and the part that hurts me the most is that people always allowed me to. I shouldn’t have given anyone that type of importance though. Not on a day that I wanted to be about me. That’s my bad but I won’t be doing it anymore, so don’t think you’ll be spending time with me for my birthday next year cause I’m going on a cruise with my besties and aint none of yall motherfuckers invited. (Still love yall though, lol)

& I write this not to say no one makes or made me feel special on my birthday. For some reason, God blessed me with best friends and some family who make me feel special every day of the year, especially on my birthday. Just like the number of good birthdays, there are a handful of people in my life who remind me that I am enough. That’s why I have the confidence to be me. That’s why I have the confidence to sing. It’s why I have the confidence to write this post right now. It’s important to make people feel special while they are here, alive and well. Ya’ll screaming for people to give these celebrities their flowers while they can still smell them, but what about the people you see face to face every day?

Not to toot my own horn, but I work at a bank and I’m very good at my job. So good that the clients that we have love me. I’ve had clients bring me gifts cause they appreciate me and actually fill out surveys for me when they get them in their email (cause let’s be real, who does that shit?) just because they know it gets me recognized by my employer. Why? Because I make them feel special. I treat them like they are all very important people because that is my job and I care about the people I interact with on a day to day basis. As a friend, it is YOUR JOB to make your friends feel special and loved. It is YOUR JOB to believe in their dreams. It is YOUR JOB to push them past their comfort zone. It is YOUR JOB to be there. It is YOUR JOB to celebrate them ESPECIALLY when it’s the day that ultimately could have yanked them from your life had something different happened all those years ago! What are you doing to make someone else feel special? How often are you stepping out of things that benefit you to do something that may not benefit you at all for someone YOU LOVE. Not even just a stranger. For someone you already know and claim to care about.

I hope this helps someone. If you felt a little guilt or discomfort at all about this (maybe you feel you haven’t been doing all you could for a friend or family member), please take it as a lesson learned and do not take offense to it. Anyone who would feel a type of way about a post like this, obviously has growing to do and that’s okay because we are all growing and learning every day. Just please for the sake of the people you love, work on it. You don’t know who out there is hurting just because they want to know they are appreciated and enough.

 & to everyone who has ever felt in the slightest that they weren’t just as special as every one else, Happy Birthday. You are more than enough.

Unapologetically love,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

Still getting my words together...

Have you ever had so much to say that you have a hard time saying anything at all? What I mean by that is that there’s so much on your mind that you have no idea where to start or how to even formulate the words to relay the message you have. That’s how I am right now and that’s how I’ve been for the past few weeks. I knew that moving back to my hometown was going to be interesting, but I didn’t really know what to expect out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my hometown with all of my heart, but there are people and situations from my life that really ruin the experience of coming home. Because of that, I don’t really know what exactly to feel.

When I was getting ready to move back, I was actually pretty happy. I knew that this move back home was a part of my journey that I need in order to grow and move forward. For a long time, I ran from the issues of my past. College was my way out and I had planned to stay gone, but we all know that life never goes as you plan it. Since I had never settled the problems I dealt with before college, they were still waiting for me when was forced to return. Now I admit, there was no way I could handle these issues in the state I was in before college, but even now, I’m grasping for the answers daily. I’ve grown a lot and gained more patience thankfully. I’ve seen a lot and learned even more, but I’m still wondering what’s next? When do the tables turn? Who can I trust and who doesn’t really care if I succeed? People, situations, and atmospheres are changing on the daily. I’m changing on the daily. I gain strength with every loss and I know what I want to put my all into, but there’s a wall that rebuilds itself every time I think I’ve knocked it down.

I know I’m kinda rambling, and ya’ll are probably wondering “what the hell is Jones talking about?”

Learning life. Simply put. I’m still getting my words together...

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

Somewhere

"My friends like to joke & tell me I'm a hippie... In some ways I could say it's true... How often my spirit longs to float away without a trace or clue of who or what waits ahead Away from my everyday That's the life I keep grasping for Until the real world pops my hand like Grandma Jones used to do whenever I'd dare to reach for food before grace Bow your head & close your eyes girl... Now let us pray... Dear Lord... Make me a pretty bird Let my wings embrace the kiss of the wind Allow my body to graze the surface of the ocean Settling on a rock of nowhere At least I'll be somewhere... Far away from my comfort zone A new me that I've been dying to meet.. Taking in the view of a new horizon... Breathing in the aroma of freedom & tranquility That's where I wanna be... The middle of nowhere... At least I'll be somewhere..."

[mimosajones-blog]

Humble is the Way

When I arrived at college in 2012, my mindset was “I’m here to get my degree and that’s it. I don’t need new friends. I have friends. If I just so happen to make friends, cool. If I don’t, that’s cool too.”

Back then, there was no doubt in my mind that my decision was the right decision. Today, I look back and wonder why? Why did I feel that way? I had never in my life felt like that. I had always been very open and outgoing, but it’s like a switch turned on when I went to college & I just knew that there were absolutely no people on my campus that I could possibly like enough to call a friend. Fortunately, I had a few new friends come into my life who I wouldn’t trade for the world and I met a whole group of amazing people on my campus during my Senior year (shout out to my Leadershape fam!), but to think of how many connections I could have made and lives I could have impacted had I just let my walls down, smh. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret it. Everything happens for a reason, so I live my life with absolutely no regrets, but I still wondered why...

Of course, I had been done wrong by so-called “friends” in the past, but I’ve been done wrong by people, both family and friends, all of my life, so that wasn’t enough to stop me from being friendly. 

I have a love-hate relationship with people. Sometimes I love to interact and sometimes I love to be alone, but my love for people outweighs any dislike for the bad seeds in the world and my need for me time, so that couldn’t possibly be it.

Then as I sat on my bed, sifting through my thoughts, I finally figured out why, and I couldn’t even hold back the tears when it hit me.

When I was a child, as I’ve said before, I was taught that family business was family business and that we didn’t need help from anyone because God would always take care of us. I’d say about one third of that was accurate. God ALWAYS took care of us and He still does to this day, but what people fail to realize is He doesn’t just hand things to you cause you want them and sometimes not even when you need them. He wants to know you’re moving towards a better you and working hard to achieve the goals set for yourself. More importantly, He wants you to be humble and a part of being humble is knowing when you need help and asking for it. My Grandfather always said “humble is the way”. His face and voice still linger in my mind after all of these years. Such a simple phrase, yet it was so complicated to completely grasp.

I’ve always been humble in certain ways, but now that I realize all that humility encompasses, I can’t help but see where I was lacking. Asking for help has been something that I’ve struggled with for years. I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t go somewhere with friends or family just because I didn’t have money or a ride (Sometimes by my own choice. Most of the time, because I was told that “you can’t go everywhere”, although, had I been allowed to ask for help, I probably could have.. Sometimes I’d do the “embarrassing” thing and go to a birthday dinner with no money for food just to be with my friends). How many times I went without eating because I didn’t want to take food from someone else’s mouth, although they had plenty to share. How many times I was screaming inside, but outwardly smiled because, regardless of what I needed, I knew my smile would help someone else feel so much better. I could go on and on, but that’s not my point.

The point I’m trying to make is that I deprived myself of new friends and new experiences, not because I didn’t want them or because I was afraid of being hurt. I didn’t want new friends or new experiences because I already felt like a burden to my own friends and family. Not because ALL of my family and friends treated me like one but because that’s how I was conditioned by SOME of my family and friends (A few bad apples can ruin the bunch, right?). I felt like asking for help was too much. It wasn’t their job to help me and I was pathetic for even needing help. At times, I even thought “welp, I wonder how much longer my friends will be my friends. I’m sure they’ll get sick of me sooner or later”. These thoughts and how I was treated growing up is exactly why I don’t tolerate people trying to make me feel guilty for asking for help anymore. It’s exactly why people who are okay with making others feel that way don’t get respect from me. It’s why I’m working every day to ask for help when I need it, even when my pride tells me not to.

I also felt like new people would never understand me. There are things that I’ve been through that only my closest friends know the details of and even then, some of them don’t know everything. I’ve always felt like the odd one out. When I was a child, I didn’t know how to accept it because I had people put me down on a daily basis. As an adult, I revel in my differences because I know they’re what make me who I am. My differences are why I stand out. Why I seem to make friends even when I claim I don’t want them. Why I’m writing this post now. My differences may make me an individual, but there’s someone out there who’s differences make them the same as me. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you know someone who’s felt like this too. Either way, I hope my words make it to whoever needs to see them so they know they are not alone.

To that person who is as different as I am, you’re not a burden. Your friends and family are there to help, so let them. If they treat you like a burden, they’re not real (family or not). Drop them & focus on the positive people in your life and your dreams. Love on the people who accept you for who you are and see the light in you. I know people have made you feel like you didn’t belong, but I promise there are people out there with hearts of gold who would love nothing more than to see you thrive and know that they didn’t turn their back on you when you needed someone the most. Those are the people you love for a lifetime because you know their love will last that long.

Unapologetically,

Jones

I dedicate this post to the most humble man & woman to step foot on this Earth. The duo that still saw me as beautiful even when I couldn’t see it. My biggest supporters in Heaven. The people who taught me to love, to be selfless, to dream. The ones who never made me feel like a burden but made me feel like me, their chubby checkered granddaughter with big dreams. I miss yall so much. Rest in Peace Jesse & Margaret Jones. It’s been years & life still isn’t the same without your wisdom and love.

[mimosajones-blog]

Friends! How many of us have them?

There’s a time in life when you have to come to terms with the fact that some people will never change. Whether it is your worst enemy or close friend, some people just don’t want to change. They may say that they want to grow and build a new life for themselves, but it’s all words in the end. I’ve been through this with several people in my life and it’s always hard, but it’s all a part of life. So how do you deal with it? 

To the person with feign desires of change...

Cool. It’s your life and you are going to live it how you want to, but I wouldn’t be a friend and I couldn’t possibly say I love you if I didn’t put this out there. Ready? Be prepared to be miserable for the rest of your life. I know that’s pretty harsh, but it’s reality. We were meant to change over time. If our bodies change and our preferences change as we grow older, why wouldn’t our mental? I hate when people try to tell me I’ve changed as a way of trying to make me regret or feel guilty. In the words of one of my favorite artists Jhene Aiko, “Shame on me for changing? No, shame on you for staying the same”. If you can honestly say that you have not changed at all over the course of your life, you should reevaluate cause that means you have learned absolutely nothing over the course of your life and quite frankly *whispers* that’s not impressive. To you, it may be cool that you’re doing the same shit with the same people in the same area that you’ve always been in, but to everyone around you, you’re just closer to nowhere and nothing. I know you keep screaming how you want to see a difference in your life, but you CANNOT continue to do the same shit and expect to beget different results. Those same shitty ass niggas you waste your time on are still gonna use you and do you wrong. That crappy ass job that you can’t stand will always be a crappy ass job that you can’t stand. Etc. Etc. For once, try to STOP doing the shit you’re used to. Hop out of your comfort zone and do something out of the norm. & most importantly, stop using those same damn excuses that you’ve been using for why you don’t try something new or change your behavior. Being ignorant wasn’t even cute when you were a child so do you really think an ignorant adult is any better? If majority of what you do on a day to day basis does nothing to help you gain success, you need to switch up your schedule cause you’re going to look up one day and notice that YOU allowed your entire life to pass you because you were too stubborn and too prideful to see your wrongs and change them. You will have no one to blame, but yourself. I guarantee, on that day though, you’ll attempt to put the blame on someone else as you always do, but you will look around and notice that the only person who’s consistently been present for all of the bad in your life is you. The bad decisions in your life? YOU made them. Almost everything that has ever went wrong for you was a direct result of something YOU did or said. On that day, no one will feel bad for you anymore. On that day, you will be alone and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. Your friends and loved ones didn’t want that for you, but that’s what YOU chose.

Now, to the friend of this person...

Don’t feel bad about your friend never growing. As long as you said what you needed to say as a friend, there’s no amount of blame on you. Your friend’s ignorance is their choice and they have to live with that. Don’t waste anymore time telling them the truth because all they hunger for is fantasy. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make’em drink. Sometimes we miss out on our own blessings because we want to bring our friends along, but what we fail to realize is the fact that some people are not meant to be blessed like you. Tell me, would you reward two people for one person’s work? It hurts, but sometimes you have to leave people in the past. As much as you may want the best for them, they’ll never have the best if all they go after is what they can easily get. The cheapest items in the store are exactly that, the cheapest items in the store. Quality costs. It costs time and effort. Your friend puts little time and effort into the decisions they make but they expect grand outcomes. That’s a fantasy and that, my friend, is a road that leads to nowhere. & I know you really want to inform your friend of this discovery, however, some people do not listen to grow or understand. Some people listen to respond and obtain reassurance. That’s your friend and hopefully one day their ears will finally be completely open, but it’s not your job to open them. Love your friend as hard as you can love, but do not put your friend before yourself cause I can guarantee when it’s time for them to choose whether they will truly hear you as their friend or not, they won’t hear you.

Lastly, to the friend who sees their friend’s horrible decisions and eggs it on or says nothing about it, not even once...

Misery loves company. That is all.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

*opens book*

Heyyyy yall!

Hopefully yall are having a bomb ass Tuesday. I’m having a blah ass Tuesday, but it’s another day so I’m grateful. I’ve been going through an internal battle lately and it’s been rough, but I feel like it’s very necessary. The best way for me to really get my thoughts out is through writing and since I have this blog, I figured this would be perfect. I’ve had quite a few people ask me to write about my personal struggles because a lot of them are going through similar things, so I figured why the fuck not? If I can help other people heal while I heal, I’d love it, so I’m going to make sure I lay it all out on the table and hopefully yall can relate. I’ll be doing this in separate parts of “Journey to the Center of Myself” for the most part, so make sure you keep an eye out! I’ll still be doing posts like my others, but I do feel it’s important for my own personal growth and others for me to do this.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

Journey to the Center of Myself

“Hi, I’m Jones. Um... I haven’t really been on the scene like that in a while, but I’m trying to get back out there and be in the mix again. I lost myself for a while & I’m still trying to figure out who I am again...”

“Nahhh, don’t say that.”

“You didn’t lose yourself”

“You’re just on a journey”

As much as I wish it was just that simple, it’s not. True, I am on a journey, but that doesn’t mean all of me is present at the moment. Growing up, I was always that kid that smiled and laughed through everything. I was outgoing, talkative, and very friendly. I was an open book. Although I was going through more than anyone could imagine back then, I still smiled. Sometimes I smiled for me. I smiled so I wouldn’t fall apart. They say if you tell yourself something enough, you’ll start to believe it. In some cases that’s true. My smile was a nonverbal way of telling myself I was happy even when I wasn’t. Majority of the time though, I smiled for everyone else around me. I smiled so my friends wouldn’t be sad anymore. I smiled so my little cousins knew everything would be okay. I smiled so my mum wouldn’t be angry or notice how much her comments about my appearance hurt me. I smiled so my brother wouldn’t feel bad for leaving me and going to live his life. I smiled even though “daddy’s little girl” had daddy issues. I smiled because, to me, my pain wasn’t as important as everyone else’s. That’s what I was told majority of the time anyway.

“Stop all of that crying. Your life could be way worse.”

“There are starving kids in Africa.”

So because there are starving kids in Africa, my mental and emotional well-being is supposed to take a backseat? Because there are starving children in Africa, I should get over the fact that you really don’t know me, but choose to judge me based on what I have ALLOWED you to see about myself? Tell me, what exactly are your plans for the starving children in Africa or was that just your way of belittling my pain so we don’t have to discuss the hand you had in it? See, I’ve always HATED when people said that & I’m going to tell you why.

1. It was always effective because it’s true. There are starving children in Africa and majority of the world. Why wouldn’t that make you feel like an asshole for being in your feelings? It breaks my heart that there are children in the world who don’t know where their next meal will come from, however, how do you tell a hungry child to feel bad for being hungry because there are children in less developed countries who are hungry too? Hopefully, I explained that well enough for you to understand the redundancy behind it.

2. I also hate it because no one ever has a solution for all of these hungry children. Instead, people use this as an excuse to avoid dealing with their personal issues internally and externally. Yes, I said it. You are using starving children for your own personal gain. Congratulations.

People shouldn’t have to tuck their pain away just because other people are hurting. That just makes no sense. Maybe if we opened ourselves up more about our pain, so many people wouldn’t be hurting. How do you let go of something that is bothering you when you can’t admit it bothers you?

Luckily, I’ve always had amazing friends. Friends like Tonya who somehow saw me the very first time she met me at the age of 5. She saw who I really was and loved me for that even after we were forced apart for years. I was fortunate to have people placed in my life who gave a damn about what I felt. Aunts who stepped in and asked me how I was doing. Not just how I was doing in school, but how I really was doing underneath the smile. Even with all of that, I still could never really open up. & of course, the first thing someone would say is “you have a hard time trusting because you guard yourself. You have walls up” which would be true in a normal case, but this case isn’t normal and I can promise you that majority of my pain wasn’t from protecting myself...

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

True Life: I’m a Life Hacker

You ever sit and wonder where the hell your life is going? I’ve been wondering for the past couple of years, and even though I feel like I’m closer to figuring it out, I can’t help but feel like I’m behind every one else. I look at so many of my friends moving forward with their lives. Moving on to bigger jobs, building families, falling in love, yet I’m still trying to figure out where I’m supposed to start.

I know you aren’t supposed to compare other people’s journeys to yours because everyone’s journey is different, but it’s a little hard to do that when you feel like your life is moving as slow as molasses (yes, I know my country is showing). Once you hit your 20s and graduate college, it’s hard not to find yourself in a weird position. Your mind is always on the future and how far you are from the goals you have set for yourself, but I guess that’s part of the problem: Your mindset.

With all of this being said, here are my 5 tips to Adulting & life in general:

1. Patience is key

2. Take it one step at a time

3. Look at the growth in others around you as motivation and not a negative

4. Stop worrying about how far you are from your ultimate goal and focus more on the goals that you are setting and achieving on a daily basis

5. Breathe

I know we all heard our parents tell us repeatedly growing up that we have to have patience. Back then our whole attitude was: “You better stfu with all this patience shit & give me my damn ice cream”, but now, as an adult, I understand why patience is a virtue. Having the ability to wait patiently for things without becoming angry helps decrease your stress level and allows you to be more observant. Although you can’t just snap your fingers and have patience, it’s important to work on it on a daily basis. Impatience makes you angry and eventually causes you to be way more stressed out then you need to be. Everything in life comes when, where, how, and why it’s supposed to so growing angry because something doesn’t show up when, where, how, and why you want it does nothing for the situation but stress you and those around you. It’s like I tell my friends, your constant worrying about something, does not solve the issue. While you’re worrying, the problem is still unsolved, so why worry?

Once you’ve grown some patience, it’s easier to take life one step at a time. Too many times, we’ve put entirely too much on our plate and wondered why everything was falling apart. How can you expect to finish a house if you stop working on it to start another? We let people tell us that we’re “getting old” when we hit our 20s & for some reason we actually believe that shit. True, we’re getting older, but people, we are NOT old. We are in our prime & it’s only up from here! Stop telling yourself that everything has to happen right now or you won’t make it. That’s not how life works. The most successful people in the world did not become successful over night, so why do you think you should? One step at a time. I promise if you do that, life will go so much smoother. Think about it, when have you done your best work? When you’ve focused and put your passion into one thing or when you tried to do multiple big things at once?

I absolutely LOVE to see my friends prosper. It really gives me hope! I look at them doing big things and it motivates me to do better. This has always been my outlook with my friends and if you can’t look at it like this, you may have some internal battles to conquer. For example, I have these 3 friends, Ciara, Tonya, and Windy (for the purpose of this blog, I have renamed them. Two are recurring friends, heyyy tonya & windy girrrrl). These 3 women had a MAJOR impact on the woman I am today not only because of the women they are, but also because I’ve known them for a great deal of my life (One since I was 5, another since high school, and the other is my sorority sister/middle school friend) so habits and characteristics tend to rub off when you spend a lot of time with someone. I learned confidence, commitment, and living unbothered from them, but one of the most important things I learned from them was how friends are supposed to push each other to do better. Even down to outfits, we always held each other to a standard & even now, when I see them prospering, it pushes me to keep up! Don’t always see others prosper and think you’re doing something wrong. Look at their wins as motivation and confirmation that you can prosper too!

Which leads me to my next point. You CAN prosper too. Remember that. Hold on to it and never forget it. Just because your big goals seem far away doesn’t mean you’ll never reach them. On a daily basis, someone who is working hard and passionately for what they love is always achieving small goals towards their bigger ones, but for some reason, we don’t know how to congratulate ourselves on that. I’m not saying settle for small wins, but I am saying acknowledge the hard work you’ve put in to get yourself to where you are. Stop beating yourself up because you aren’t where you want to be right now. Negativity does nothing but stunt your growth, so focus on the positive outlook on your situation. I’m currently working 3 jobs. It’s all a part of my plan to success. Do I like the shit? No, however, I need money to do what I really want to do with my life, so I can forfeit a little time to make this money. Instead of focusing on the time I’m having to give to these jobs, I choose to focus on the fact that I was even able to get these 3 jobs and how much I’m going to be able to do with the money I get from these jobs. Watch me work, people.

Lastly, breathe. I know that’s probably the most simple tip here, but you’d be surprised how many people forget to do it on a daily basis. & no, I don’t mean your normal, everyday pulmonary ventilation. I mean stop everything and give yourself a second to breathe. Take in everything around you. Nature, people, life. Ignore your thoughts and just be in the moment. Take time out for yourself to do what you love to do and not just what you have to do. I promise you’ll be a much more sane person and your body will love you for the decrease in stress.

We’re all in the same boat. We’re trying to figure out life and the recipe for success, but never forget that everyone’s journey is different. Don’t beat yourself up for not being a billionaire by the age of 23 cause you still have time and life is going to happen how it’s supposed to happen regardless of what you do.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

"This post was a little slut-shamey...”

I am SOOOO tired of this slut-shaming bullshit. I get the point behind it all. Why shouldn’t women be able to explore their sexual desires openly and as often (if not more) than men without being called out of their names or looked down upon for doing the same thing that men are praised for on the daily? I’m all for that! What you do, when you do, or how often you decide to do whatever it is you like to do has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with you and your relationship with your vagina, so by all means, live your life fam, but I just have something that I have to address and then you may go on about your day.

As I hinted, slut-shaming is “the action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.” With that being said, if I were to call my friend a hoe for sleeping with two different men in the same week, I would technically be slut shaming. I can understand that. Calling someone out of their name or judging them for their choices is wrong. Period. What I don’t understand is why people attempt to take offense or call it slut shaming when you simply give your opposing opinion on sleeping with any and everybody. Call me out if I’m disrespecting someone. Call me out if I’m judging, but what you will NOT do is tell me I’m slut shaming because my opinion of how we should treat our bodies is different than yours. How are you gonna tell me not to judge and then judge me because I feel differently than you? That’s hypocritical as fuck. You can’t scream “let people be who they are! anyone can have an opinion! let them be free!” and then when I use my freedom to say how I feel in a way that is not demeaning or judgmental to anyone, you say “Stop shaming people! Your opinion is wrong! You can’t say that!” That just makes no sense. You’re not defending anyone, you are simply using your emotions about my opposing opinion to TRY to make me feel bad for feeling differently than you. Sit down. Be humble. Your opinion DOES NOT overrule all of those opposing just cause you’re in your feelings.

Moving on, I have a strong opinion about how women should be with their bodies. Now before some of you starting shitting bricks, give me a second to explain. In no way, shape, or form am I trying to tell other women what to do with their bodies, HOWEVER, I am trying to make more women see their bodies in a different light. Whether they do or do not choose to agree with what I’m about to say is completely up to them, but it’s important that this is brought up. Ready?

Ladies, we really need to stop giving these men who do not care about us or our rights access to our bodies. Tell me, what could you possibly get out of sleeping with a man that could give two shits less about you or what you can and cannot do with your body (career, mind, etc.) as a woman? I’ll wait.....

Can’t think of anything? I’ll tell you. 

The following list contains items you may obtain from fucking with an ain’t shit ass nigga. Those who take the risk of fucking ain’t shit ass niggas are subject to get any or all of the following items:

1. a 2 second orgasm that may have been worth it in the moment, but when you get home or wake up the next morning, you’re just gonna want more dick so technically absolutely nothing was fulfilled because you’re still chasing a feeling after that “bomb D” from that ain’t shit ass nigga you fucked last night. (this one is a gamble because some guys won’t even give you an orgasm, then you’re really ass out. haha, see what I did there?...no? okay, I’ll stop)

2. STDs

3. a baby that you’re gonna love because it’s your child, but who may never know their father the way they want because he ain’t shit

4. low self-esteem

5..... that’s all I could come up with... Not a very promising list.

Now, I don’t want anyone to feel as though I’m judging, because I promise I am not. That’s one of the major points of this entire post. Just because someone has an opinion that does not match yours does not always mean that they are shaming your life choices. In some instances, they are. I can give you that, but we ALL know when someone is coming for us and when they’re not. I just need my strong, independent, intelligent women to make better choices when it comes to who we decide is deserving of something as precious as our bodies. Maybe if I use an analogy, it will help. 

Think of your body as the white house. You rule everything in and around that bitch, so NOBODY gets in without your permission. In reality, not any and everybody is permitted to go in the white house. There’s heavy security on every entrance of that place. Hell, you can’t even get too close to the gate without the risk of getting fucked up by security. Why? Because that’s where one of the most important people in the world resides (and although our current president ain’t shit, we will continue to use this analogy and act as if President Obeezy was still in the white house, kay?). Sex is a gateway to your soul, one of the most important parts of your being. Sex is a soul tie, whether you wanna admit it or not (you don’t forget people you’ve slept with). Why wouldn’t you wanna protect your soul? In turn, why wouldn’t you want to protect the body that houses your soul? Why is there more security on the white house than there is on your body? The white house burned down once and they rebuilt it. You only get one body and there’s no rebuilding it once you’ve destroyed it, and ultimately, YOU would be the one who destroyed it, not those who aint shit.

I don’t know. Maybe I just expect more from us because I know how strong and smart women are. This world would be nothing without us, yet we continue to allow ain’t shit ass men to treat us like nothing all for a quick fuck, and for some of us, a fantasy that having sex with a man may change his outlook and make him fall in love. No pussy is that powerful, baby. So many of us are quick to complain about how men treat us, but giving them exactly what they want won’t do anything but encourage it. I’ve chosen to be celibate. It’s the easiest way for me to weed out dudes that have ill intentions. You don’t wanna actually get to know who I am? Next. Oh, you thought smoking me out meant you were DEFINITELY getting some? My vagina is worth only a blunt to you? Nah. I know not everyone is able to say no to sex altogether (although I don’t get that because we bash people for not giving up cigarettes, but God forbid someone ask you to give up sex, but I digress). By all means boo, you wanna get your freak on, be my guest, but I just urge women to be more selective with the men we choose to give part of ourselves to. Now, this opinion that I gave was said to be “slut-shamey” the first time I said it & to be honest, that shit pissed me off. I’m slut shaming because I want better choices for the women in this world? I’m slut shaming because I feel that you should at least have the ability to say no to something you CAN live without (not saying you have to but just saying you should have the will power)?

“But we got needs, Jones!” We all have needs, beautiful, but tell me, is your need for sex so important that you are willing to belittle yourself for someone who probably doesn’t even know your name as we speak? Is it so important that it outweighs the other needs we have as women? The need to be loved? The need to be respected by the men we choose to share that part of ourselves with? The need to be an example for our little girls? I don’t want my future daughters to judge anyone who wants to have new sexual experiences, but to be real, I don’t want my daughters growing up thinking that any guy who shows interest in just their looks or takes them on a cheap date is automatically deserving of the jewels God gave her. Again, I don’t want you to feel bad. I just want you to think about it.

Keep your pussy on a pedestal, ladies.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

Honestly, truly...

I think of you often

I wonder what your lips taste like

What you would do if I licked cupid’s bow like you did the night we spent together

When I was fighting the urge to mount you like a horse and ride you into the sunset

I think about that often

How I should’ve kissed you, although I knew I’d lose control if I let that happen

Who would’ve heard us as I took you in, letting my walls down just for you

When your moans would have been in sync with mine as I drew circles around your love with my pelvis

Where our desires would have taken us that night. The floor, the kitchen, the shower...

What you would’ve looked like completely naked

Covered in sweat, your arms around my waist, mine resting around the nape of your neck

See, my inner freak likes to come out and play on special occasions, & even though it’s not anyone’s birthday, I wish you’d blow my back- I mean, my candles out with every last breath you’ve got

Baby, I think of you often

Loc’d together

At the hips is where I long for you the most

Where my body is most sensitive to touch

If only you knew the things I’d do to you

Man, you’d be a fiend to this dope if I gave you more than just a tease

You’d be pleased, but the withdrawal would have you on your knees

Nigga, I am every drug you’ve ever wanted or needed

Take one puff and I promise you’ll be high forever

I can’t promise you won’t cum down, but I know the sensation will last a life time

Let me get inside your head

I wanna know what you like, what makes you shiver, how to engrave the sounds I make into your mind

You’ll never forget my love

You’ve been loved before, but not like this

It takes a special man to summon the lover in me

Almost like a blue moon, she shows up every once in a while, but when the sun rises, so does she

Tracing the intricacies of your face first with fingers, next with lips

She doesn’t rise with the sun to leave before you wake, but instead to admire the soul with whom she’s intertwined

I think about you often

Not to weird you out or anything

I just thought you should know

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

Issa lie!

Happy Sunday my good people! 

I have summoned you here today to tell you that this slut shaming blog post is going to take a while.

I knoooow I knoooow, I said it would be my next post, but look dammit, I’m trying to be as thorough as possible. I promise it will be up as soon as I finish it but until then, I will still be posting and whet not!

I am about to post a short little poem type thing I wrote today so hopefully yall enjoy it, but I will warn you, it’s pretty risky and if you aren’t open to erotic shit, you might be a little uncomfortable (but I know most of yall some little nasties so I hope yall love that shit).

Until next timeeee

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

The Cheat: What was the point Jones?

Hello all of you beautiful people! I know I said that I’d post yesterday, but by now ya’ll should know I have a tendency to lie when it comes to saying which day I will be posting, lol. This is why I said before that I’d stop saying when imma post, so eventually imma hold true to that and stop getting people’s hopes up (I know I ain’t shit yall. I promise one day I will be though, lmao).

Anyway, for all of you who made it this far in The Cheat, I want to first thank you for staying tuned for my story. I’ve never really talked in detail about my experience with Dallas to anyone other than close friends (even they don’t know some of the details), so it was good for me to be able to get that all out. My inspiration to tell that story came from watching the Hurt Bae video that went viral in February. A lot of people had opinions about it, and OF COURSE, ya’ll know I had an opinion about it, but I didn’t wanna just put my opinion out there without giving you the reason why I feel how I feel about it. So since you know my story, I can tell you my opinion. Heeeeere we go...

First off, when I saw the video, I commended both of them for actually sitting down and having a conversation about it. I feel that not enough people do that. It’s like someone does us wrong, and we think the best way to handle the situation is to never talk to them again. In some situations, like domestic abuse or rape, it is definitely best. Leave that asshole (male or female) and never look back!! However, in situations where someone has cheated or said/done something to you that you can never forgive, you NEED to talk it out (or at least try). I say this because if you really care about the person as you say you do, you’d never want them to stay that way and hurt someone else just the same. I know I didn’t want that for Dallas. My heart is big as shit so I just can’t stand to see people I love doing dumb shit. You should also just want the closure for yourself. There are so many people I know who are bitter and broken because they never had closure at the end of a relationship. Don’t punish yourself for someone else’s wrongdoings. Although, sometimes talking it out doesn’t work, no one can EVER tell you that you didn’t give your all for the person you love if you wholeheartedly gave your 100%. & whether they sincerely apologize or not, if you talk it out, your closer will come because you’ll either

A. know that the person you loved really was in there all along and that there’s hope that one day they’ll be true to themselves and to others (others doesn’t have to be you though. Let’s keep that clear)

or

B. know they really all around aint shit, lied about who they were the entire time, and you can move on knowing you aren’t missing out on shit (which you can do anyway, but now you have a mental picture and additional proof of aint shitness to look back on when you question whether or not you should have given him another chance cause let’s be real we ALL have that thought when it comes to significant others that we were with for long periods of time. It’s stupid, but we do. We’re all human and wonder “what if”)

That’s why even after what Dallas did to me, I stood by him as a friend because I knew he wasn’t a terrible person. Anyone that had ever met him would say the same thing. He cared about people and really showed love as much as he could, so finding out that he was doing what he was doing hurt and confused me at the same time. I wanted him to be his true self and if I didn’t hold him accountable for his actions, he was just gonna keep doing the same shit cause clearly none of the hoes he was fucking with had morals and would hold him accountable (except Ebony of course).

Because I knew that he was not that person he was trying to be, I knew that showing him what he did to me would break his heart. No one ever likes to see the damage they’ve caused. It’s all fun and games while they’re doing it but when shit hits the fan, they try to speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil real quick. I tried at first to just show him through words. I tried to articulate my feelings, and he knew that he had hurt me, but I wasn’t showing him my pain, I was just telling him about it. We are taught at a young age not to show emotion because it’s a sign of weakness, but I’m calling bullshit on that one. Why wouldn’t I show you what you’ve done to me? That would be letting you off freely as I bare the burden of my pain that YOU caused. No, I want you to see my pain. I want you to see the trust issues that you caused. The tears that stain my cheeks on a daily basis. The broken pieces of my heart that YOU decided would be better scattered across the floor rather than tucked away neatly in the safe that I, against my better judgement, opened just for you. Look at the emptiness you’ve caused by juggling it with countless other hearts of females who fell for you instead of just giving it back in one piece like you should have. It’s kinda like when people train their puppies not to shit in the house by sticking their nose in the shit so they know what they’ve done wrong. Not trying to say he’s a puppy, but just using it as an example. If we don’t show people the damage they’ve done, they’ll just assume it wasn’t that bad and you’ll bounce back, but some people don’t and that’s the point. You can’t play catch with someone else’s expensive glass vase, shatter it into a million pieces, and just walk off like “eh, they can clean it up. I’m going to get pizza”. Start having these hurt bae conversations. So what if they see you cry, that’s what they caused right?? Make them feel uncomfortable and ashamed. They should. I made Dallas come face to face with the aftermath of his decisions and in the end, he wanted to be better, not for me, but for himself and that’s everything I wanted for my best friend.

I also saw a lot of people saying that the guy in the hurt bae video seemed like he didn’t care. He may not have. That’s a possibility, but he also could’ve just been taught that men don’t show emotions. I say that because that’s exactly how Dallas was. In our entire 7 years, I had never seen that man. Not until after we broke up: the night we fought and months later after we reconciled when he had a death in his family and I was there for him. We had a discussion about why he always seemed so nonchalant and he admitted to me that’s just how he was raised. He was told men don’t show emotion, and he had never seen his dad show emotion, so that’s how he felt he had to be. Now I’m not saying a man should be crying every two damn seconds cause that’s just the fucking most. I don’t even like dealing with females who cry that much, but I do feel it’s unfair that we put men in this box and that they feel like they have to conceal all emotion just to be manly. I feel like the manliest thing a man can do is show me his emotion. It shows me that he’s comfortable with himself as well as with me. I want to be the shoulder that my man feels comfortable enough to cry on, whether he’s actually dropping tears or just being honest about how he feels.

Lastly, I don’t want ya’ll to think I’m making excuses for anyone or trying to victimize the people who cheat. Cheating is foul and anyone who does it is a piece of shit (that’s for my friends who do it to. With your aint shit ass. I still love you, just know you aint shit). There’s literally no point in dragging someone you claim you love through the mud just so you can get a quick nut. You couldn’t come up with a point if you tried. If you want to sleep around, live your damn life, but don’t fuck up someone else’s life because you’re selfish and feel like your needs are more important than others. BE FUCKING SINGLE IF YOU WANNA FUCK AROUND. To be real, you need to find a damn hobby or something cause if you’re cheating, you CLEARLY have WAYYYY too much time on your hands. Try knitting... or golf... nahhh, not golf. That shit didn’t stop Tiger, so I’m sure it won’t stop you either. Just get a damn life cause the time it takes you to come up with all of these lies and jump from one bed to the next, you could’ve built a business and could be making money. Get your priorities straight.

And just so we can have some closure on this story cause I’m sure ya’ll are wondering, Dallas and I are still best friends. I can still count on him to have my back in every situation and vice versa. We love each other and we’ll always love each other, but I can’t trust him with my heart again and he understands that. We talk when we can and visit each other during holidays and such, but we’re not obligated to one another. We see other people and have been working on moving on to bigger and better things in life, but I’ll always support him in his endeavors as he does the same for me. When I said he was my best friend, I wasn’t exaggerating. He knows me inside and out, and he’s been there for me through some of the toughest times in my life when I had no one else to lean on. We don’t plan on that ever changing.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

The Cheat: The Final Fight

The night I am about to tell you about was one of the most dramatic and eye opening nights Dallas and I had ever had. Even now as I write this, I remember  how quiet the night seemed as if the world was listening to us argue. The emptiness I felt inside. I had felt empty before, but not like this. I had nothing more left in me. I had given all of myself away and it literally brought me to my knees.

So let’s start at the beginning of the night. I had gotten a call from my friends inviting me to come play drunk volleyball with them in one of my friend’s neighborhood. Anyone who knows me also knows how much I love my friends from back home. Even when we don’t talk for a while, we hit each other up and hang like we just saw each other the day before. They know the real me that I don’t always show to people, so when they hit me up, there was no doubt I was going to hang with them. What they didn’t know was that I was with Dallas and by this time, they all knew what he had done & rightfully despised him. I couldn’t blame them for it. Even though I felt bad for up and leaving him, I wasn’t about to miss out on hanging with them cause I hadn’t been able to in a long time. Although I knew they didn’t like him anymore, I still had him drop me off cause I didn’t have another way there. Out of love for me, they left the subject alone (well, most of them. My friend, who we will call Windy, had a couple short things to say, but that’s just her. She’s always honest and holds her tongue for no one & that’s honestly one of my favorite things about her, so I took the jabs cause it was al true). We had so much fun that night getting drunk and hitting a beach ball back and forth that I forgot all of my problems for the few hours we were out there. I knew my friends would make me feel better. They always did. 

After we all parted ways, Dallas came to pick me up and we headed back to his house, where I was spending the night unbeknownst to anyone else outside of his home. I can’t quite remember why I even had his phone in the first place, but after months of him telling me how much he still loved me and wanted to change, I had found yet another reason not to trust him in the form of text messages between him and some females back in the city his college was in. I knew he wasn’t having sex with them because he had been back in town for some months and I was always with him (as it always was when he was home), but he was still entertaining these females so that meant when he went back, he’d be back to his same shenanigans. I was broken. This was the last thing I was expecting after everything that had happened, but it happened and it broke me to my core.

I immediately felt anger and rage raise up in my heart. I didn’t say anything right away, but I knew once I opened my mouth, a natural disaster was bound to occur. I was drunk and trying so hard to keep my composure but I was losing that battle with myself. My thoughts were consuming me: “Why would he do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? I thought he loved me. Cut that nigga! (lol, I had to throw that one in there)

Dallas could always sense when something was wrong with me, even if I didn’t say it. He said something to me & I gave a him a short reply. He tried again to start conversation, this time touching me. I slapped his hand away & that’s when he knew for sure something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?”

“You know what the fuck is wrong.”

I hated when he asked stupid questions like that. It made me even more furious.

“Jones, I really don’t know what’s wrong.”

“You haven’t been texting other bitches? Flirting and shit?? I saw the messages, Dallas! You’re still cheating on me!!” (Which really wasn’t valid cause we weren’t officially back together, but we might as well had been since we had been together almost every day since he’d been back)

“I promise I’m not cheating!”

“Explain the text messages then!!”

By this time, we had both gotten out of the car. It was about 2 o’clock in the morning, and we were arguing right outside of his parents’ bedroom. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, tears streaming down my face, curse words flying everywhere. I was surprised I didn’t see his mother peeking through the blinds because I knew we were loud enough for the whole block to hear us.

“I’m not cheating! We were just texting, Jones! I promise!!”

I kept trying to walk away, but every time, he would jump in front of me and block my path, pushing his body against mine as I tried to push him out of the way.

“Fuck you Dallas!! You’re a fucking liar! Why do you always feel the need to entertain these bitches?? That’s the point! Get out of my way! Back the fuck up before I rock your ass!”

We were getting out of control. We went back and forth for what seemed like forever. We had never fought this bad, but then again, I never knew he was cheating. Then the moment that changed everything.

“Dallas, I’m about the punch the shit out of you!”

“You keep saying it!! Do it!!”

I balled up my fist, cocked it back, decided not to punch him but to open my hand and slap the taste out of his mouth mid-swing, and hit him as hard as I possibly could. Little did I know, my brain said slap him, but my hand never opened and I ended up busting his lip (Drunk, remember?). I knew I had hit him hard because shock took over his face and he put his hand on his mouth. That was the moment he finally saw what he had done to me. For once he saw my pain. I started bawling and fell to my knees.

“I just don’t understand. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why couldn’t you just choose me? I’m so tired Dallas... I’m so tired. I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t do it anymore...”

I crippled over, hands in the dirt, sobbing like a child. My heart was broken and he finally understood that.

“Jones, here, get up”

He reached to help me up and I jerked away as if his touching me burnt my skin. I felt naked. I got up.

“Just leave me alone, Dallas. Please... just leave me alone.”

This time he let me go in the house. I had to spend the night because it was too late for me to go back to my mother’s and have to contend with her questions. We sat on the couch in silence. Here and there, I’d mumble something and stare off in a daze. He’d respond, but I was no longer present so everything he said never even registered with my brain. My body was there, but my mind was in another world filled with broken promises and painful memories of our happiness together. Seeing my pain hurt him. I could tell. It didn’t make me feel any better though. For the first time in our 7 year relationship, he cried. Through tears he apologized over and over again, but I had checked out and quite frankly, none of it mattered to me anymore. It was too late.

“You never loved me. You just didn’t wanna be alone... I’m such an idiot. You made me look so stupid, and I just let you... a fucking idiot... I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Jones, don’t say that. I did love you... I still do... please, I’m sorry.”

I stared off into the distance, consumed by my thoughts, until I fell asleep.

The next morning when I woke up, I knew it was over for good. I’d never be able to trust him like I used to, and we’d never be happy like we once were. I knew I could trust him with my life, but I could never trust him with my heart again...

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

The Cheat: Part 4

It’s been a while, I know, but I’m finally gonna finish this story today and tell you the point of it all, so bare with me people.

When we last left off, I had written a letter to the other woman. I was anxious for a response & it didn’t take her long to write back at all. She thanked me for letting her know, but I had questions that Dallas was not going to answer.

“Is my source right? Have yall really been dating?”

“On & off since August”

My heart dropped. I felt like my life was about to crumble before my very eyes, but I couldn’t stop. I needed answers, so I kept going...

“He told me that he wasn’t hanging out with you anymore (which is something I believe I left out from the other part of this story. He had lied to me when he felt like I was drifting away). I just need to know for my own health if yall have gone any further than kissing.”

“Have you been intimate with him since July?”

She answered with a question which was annoying but I answered anyway cause I needed to know.

“Yes, we slept together over thankgiving break”

“Wow, I’m clean, but we’ve been intimate as well for months now. I’ll show you my papers if you want.”

Did it really matter? If she wasn’t clean, it was too late by now so I didn’t even care. Plus, I wasn’t taking anyone’s word but the doctors, so I made an appointment to get tested as soon as we finished talking.

“I’m honestly not worried about you as much as I am about whoever else he’s been fucking up there.. Wow... I feel so fucking stupid.”

The conversation went on for a while and more secrets came to light every time I got a new ping on Instagram. Come to find out he had been lying to both of us about the entire situation. The funny part is he had admitted all of his wrongdoings towards me to her, but she had still fallen for his tricks. She knew more about what he had done than I did & I had spent 7 years with the man. There were 8 other females before her, all of them knew he had a girlfriend, he was planning to go on a trip with her back to her home in Trinidad & worst of all, he had been having sex with Ebony and I both unprotected. I felt disgusting. I felt violated. Although he was the only man I had ever had sex with, I felt dirty. He had lied to her and God knows who else about me, saying I was manipulative and conniving, but in this moment, she saw me for who I was: a woman who loved a man that said he loved her.

When the conversation was over, I had more knowledge on what had been happening, but I didn’t feel any better. I guess that’s why they say be careful what you ask for, but I needed to know all of this so I could have proof when I confronted Dallas.

Ebony had promised me she was going to go fuss him out & she held true to that visit. Shortly after she let me know she had talked to him, I confronted him and he came clean for once in our entire relationship. I asked every question I needed to ask. Why? That was the most important question and when he answered, I still felt so empty.

After it all, I went through long spurts of ignoring him. He tried to contact me on the regular but every time we spoke, I ended up in tears. I tried to move past it. Because we truly were best friends (despite what most people believed) it was hard to completely cut him out of my life, even after what he had done. When I had issues with my mother? He was there. Money problems? He was there. Feeling alone? Ironically, he was there. After giving myself some time, I fell back into the trap. We didn’t get back together. I knew better than that, but I didn’t know better than to fall back into the trap of loving him, even as a friend. He came back home for a while and we spent a lot of time together. I was even naive enough to be intimate with him on a couple of occasions (I know, “wtf Jones?” I was lost. That’s all I can say). After setting myself up for failure for several months, we had one night together that neither of us will ever forget...

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

To whom it may concern...

I've had several people in my life lose their parents, children, & family members recently & my heart goes out to them. Some of them had rocky relationships with their family members. Some were fixed, some were not. Think about that for a second. Someone who birthed you, or came from you, or grew up with you, or watched you grow up has died & neither of you fixed what was broken because you were too prideful or because you hold on to the saying "leave the past in the past" like that means never talk about the past. That's not what that means. That means do not bring up the past just to use it against someone. Bring up the past to heal, bring up the past to reminisce, bring up the past to learn, BRING UP THE PAST TO GROW. Yall like to TALK about growth but no one actually wants to go through the steps it takes to actually grow. It's BEEN time to stop acting like the past does not matter. It does. You never move on from unresolved issues. How can you? & this is not directed at any one specific person, but if you feel attacked, good. That means you were one of the people I hoped would read this & feel God pricking at your heart, but I hope there are people I wouldn't suspect feeling that same twinge. It's time to start apologizing to people. It's time to be responsible for YOUR choices. It's time to admit your mistakes & learn from them. & a simple I'm sorry DOES NOT suffice. Actually sit down & hear what the other person has to say. Listen to understand how they feel NOT to respond. There are multiple sides to every story. Why are you okay with only knowing one side & assuming you know the others? Put yourself in someone else's shoes for once instead of always daring someone to walk a mile in yours cause their shoes may walk a path that wasn't chosen for them while you personally paved your path yourself & THAT'S why you had such a hard life. Stop blaming others for your choices & stop expecting people to feel guilty & bad for a life you chose for yourself. You're supposed to share your life experiences in order to help people make their OWN decisions on what not to do, not make decisions for them because YOU made mistakes that they may never make. I just had to get that off my chest cause I'm tired of people dusting the past under the rug & then wondering why we're all so dysfunctional. How do you learn from other's mistakes when no one wants to talk about them? I'll answer that one for you: you don't.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

Back in action!

It’s been a while. So long that I didn’t even get to finish my storytime (no worries, I’m gonna finish that damn rant cause I had a point!!). There’s been a lot going on in my life lately. I brought in a new line for my sorority so I’m a mama dean now & my personal life has been crumbling all around me, so needless to say, I will have PLENTY to talk about (not really about my sorority because sister business is sister business, but my personal life is up for grabs, haha). Bottom line of this post is that I needed to take time out for myself to focus on bringing in my new girls and making sure my mental, physical, and spiritual well-being was being taken into consideration.

But now that my almost-to-my-mid-twenties-with-barely-anything-to-my-name crisis is over, I can get back to doing what I love most: ripping people a new one (& being inspirational & what not too, lmaooo)

I’ll be posting something in a few but it’s literally just something I wrote on facebook today and I’ll explain it when the time comes, but for now, just take in the message.

Unapologetically,

Jones

[mimosajones-blog]

A letter to the other woman...

“Hi Ebony, I'm sure you already know who I am via Dallas, but I'll introduce myself anyway, I'm Jones. I'm writing you because I recently found out from a source up there that Dallas has been lying to me for the past 6 years while we were in a relationship. I'm not trying to attack you in any way, but I just need to 

1. Know the truth 

2. Warn you before you get so into him that he ends up hurting you too. 

If I had screenshots of everything he told me this week, I'd send you every one, but he deleted the messages before I could get to them. However, I do have some of the emails & the screenshot above is one he sent earlier this month. We were talking on instagram & in emails because apparently his phone has been "messing up" for several months now, but I digress. Dallas has been telling me that ya'll are just friends, nothing more than that, he doesn’t wanna be more than that & he's still in love with me. He also has been saying that he has intentions on coming back to be with me after he graduates. My sources tell me that yall have been dating since February & that he's telling you that me & him are just friends. Is that true? If so, he's lying to you. Do not believe him. He is playing you to your face, just like the many other girls that I recently found out he's been dating behind my back up there. I'm done with him. I refuse to go back to someone I can’t trust. Someone that after 6 years of being with, still has the balls to lie to me with no remorse. Even with us being broken up now, he is still lying to me. That's what you have to look forward to if you decide to take that step with him. Please don't do that to yourself. I honestly wish I had’ve had someone to warn me before I did it to myself, but I didnt. To me & everyone around me (including his fam) I was getting the "good brother" & you see how it's ending for me. He talks a good game & is good at making people pity him, but now that I know the truth, I'll never go back to him. I pray that you take my word. I have nothing to lie about & nothing to lose. Dallas broke my heart & he will do the same to you if you give him the chance.

Jones”