minanang17

[minanang17]

A Rollercoaster Life

Hi! My full name is Hijamina Alonto Mulok, and my nickname is "Faullah." I know you're asking why my nickname is "Faullah" rather than "Jamina" or "Mina." My parents believed it would be cool to merge their names to make my nickname, and "Faullah" was their finest choice. Faucy and Abdullah equal Faullah! Amazing, right?

Anyway, I'm 17 years old and will turn 18 on July 22. I am my mother's eldest daughter, but my father considers me his second daughter because I have a half sister. Yes, I have a complicated and broken family. My mother and father separated while I was in kindergarten. My youngest sibling was months old at the time. After a year, my mother married my stepfather, and they had their first son. She took my two younger sisters and traveled to Manila with her husband. My remaining siblings and I were split, leaving my two brothers and me with my grandmother and aunt.

But then she married. I sobbed so badly because she's my favorite aunt. She is my second mother, and she now has her own family. She chose me as her flower girl since I am the only niece she is close with. I basically frowned at her wedding the entire time. I was angry and sad because she was going to leave me to start her own family. I was sad for a long time because I missed her terribly. She left with her husband, leaving me at my grandmother's house.

My mother took us back and stayed in Mindanao. We enjoyed a family bonding session with my half-brothers. We were overjoyed because my mom was among us. However, our lives are not only about happiness. My father wants to pick us up and take us to his house in Manila, and my mother agrees. We were upset with her since we did not want to see him since he left at a young age. I burst into tears and ran to see my grandmother. I told her that I wished my mother hadn't spent so much time with us because I assumed she was bonding with us in order to bring us to my father later.

For the first time, my grandmother and I were apart. I missed her very much, but I had no choice because I was just a kid at the time. We were all quite polite when we arrived at my father's place for the first time. They greeted us pleasantly. They spoke to us as if we were so close to them. I'm uneasy since I don't enjoy socializing and prefer to stay at home instead. That's when I ran into financial issues. I discovered that my father's debts are one after the other. He constantly scolds and blames us for his life's problems. But once he was okay, he simply apologized to us. He gives us everything we desire, but then scolds us, so we don't ask for anything anymore since we know what will happen.

When we lost our mineral business and computer shop, he became addicted to the lottery. He always forgot to bring us food. We grieved for hunger since we no longer have a business. I even asked my aunt for food and an allowance for our studies. She pity us and gives me money. I was quite humiliated at the time, but I had to swallow my pride because I knew my siblings were hungry and sad. I didn't express weary or hunger since I knew I was my siblings' only source of strength. 

That is why I contacted my mother and asked her to pick us up since I was tired of relying on and asking for money. I'm not sure where else to get a thick face and ask for money. She grieved when she realized what had happened to us and promptly arranged a ticket to come get us. I didn't have any bad thoughts toward my father because he sometimes acted like a father. We developed a bond, and he even taught me how to make shawarma because he enjoys cooking. When my mother came to pick us up, I tried not to cry in front of my father because I knew that if I couldn't stop sobbing, I might not be able to go with my mother and stay in Manila.

When he was about to depart, I ran to him and hugged him tightly. I can't simply accept that we're going to leave him. He has no one on his side. He'd be lonely again. We didn't keep our promise to never leave his side, no matter what happened. But we left him. We lost communication with each other. He married again without telling us.

When we landed in Cebu, we met our new baby brother. I cared for him and treated him like a full-blooded sibling. My grandmother and I shared a bond. However, fate is being harsh yet again. I learned out that my grandmother was in the hospital. I didn't get a chance to visit her since my mother was so busy, and I couldn't leave my younger brother. When I had the chance, we went there, and my heart was devastated when I saw my grandmother laying in a hospital bed. She appears frail and exhausted. She cannot even speak properly. I tried not to cry since I didn't want to appear weak in front of her. I can't talk while looking into her eyes because I know one wrong move will make me cry so hard. I stared at her for a long time, wondering what happened to my jovial and strict grandmother. 

I cannot afford to lose her. She was my life. She was the one who came to my school activities whenever I needed my parents. She was the one who stayed by my side when I was sick and supported me in all of the events in which I participated. And she was the one who protected me when my mother and aunt scolded me; she was my savior. But He took her away from me and from us.

Life carries on. After the trials and happiness that came into my life, I grew stronger and braver. I understand that everything is temporary, which is why I am doing everything I can to grab these chances that come my way. We should learn to appreciate everything and treat everyone kindly because we never know when we'll see them again. That is all. Thank you.