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existence

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PRIDE (2014) dir. Matthew Warchus

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by Ryan McGinley for New York Times Magazine

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Sulphur tufts - Hypholoma fasculare - getting in among the roots.

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La planète sauvage (Fantastic Planet); 1973, dir. René Laloux

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Sohn Kee-chung & Nam Sung-yong

Now that  the Tokyo Olympics is underway, let’s talk about Olympic medalists Sohn Kee-chung (손기정) and Nam Sung-yong (남승룡) - who were forced to compete under the Japanese flag during the 1936 Olympics. 

As you may know, Japan was an imperial power during WWII and colonized Korea (as well as many other countries). Sohn Kee-chung and Nam Sung-yong were ethnic Koreans who were forced to change their names to Son Kitei and Nan Shoryu so they could compete as “Japanese” athletes.

Sohn won the gold in the marathon and Nam won bronze, but as you can tell from the awards ceremony photos, neither were happy about their victory as they had to stand in front of the world not as Koreans but as Japanese subjects.

Sohn specifically used the laurel plant he received as gold medalist to hide the Japanese flag on his chest. Nam recalled being jealous of Sohn - not because he won gold - but because he had something to cover the flag with. You can see Nam clenching his fist in photos instead.

Sohn was forced to give a victory speech that was pre-written for him praising the Japanese Empire. You can listen to a record here. Around the 2:39 mark - you can hear a voice threatening Sohn: “Louder. Read louder.”

Unable to celebrate his win, Sohn sent a postcard to a friend post-match that simply read: “I am sad.”

Korean newspapers Dong-A Ilbo (동아일보) and Joseon Joong-Ang Ilbo (조선중앙일보) edited out the Japanese flag when reporting on Sohn and Nam’s wins. The Japanese government responded by arresting Korean journalists and putting Sohn under surveillance.

Both Sohn and Nam have repeatedly asked to be remembered as Korean athletes, not Japanese ones. But to this day, official Olympics records still use Japanese names and the Japanese flag for them.

In fact, the JOC has been introducing Sohn and 8 other Koreans as “Japanese” athletes in order to promote Tokyo 2020. These athletes competed under the Japanese flag not by choice, but by imperialist force.

There have been many attempts to fix this. Noted example is Korean politician Park Young Rok who visited Germany for the 1970 Olympics and broke into the Berlin Olympic Stadium at night to fix Sohn’s country to Korea. He fled to Korea with the letters J-A-P-A-N in hand.

In the beginning the Japanese national team wanted to kick Sohn and Nam out because they did not want to show the world that Koreans were better than Japanese athletes. When Sohn and Nam ranked 1st and 2nd respectively in the Olympic trials, they demanded a retrial in Berlin and added TWO more Japanese runners in hopes of disqualifying Sohn and Nam. Some of the Japanese players actually left the course and tried to take shortcuts to beat them. Sohn and Nam noticed this while running and swore that they would beat them no matter what.

They did.

[mindfullofwishes]

"We think that everyone should be allowed to do THIS without any fear. We think that everyone should be completely free do be whoever the f*ck they want. LOVE IS NEVER WRONG!" - Måneskin 🏳‍🌈

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What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

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Happy pride month 2021 guys! 🌈