minhaemin

[minhaemin]

HACKER!STEPBRO HEESEUNG - TRAPPED.

The one where your antisocial stepbro pretends he's not obsessed—while secretly hacking you, jerking off to your secrets, and discovering about your desire. He’s obsessed… And you'll use it.

BEST TO READ IN DARK MODE FOR EFFECTS

CONTENT ↠ nsfw! mdni!, smut, angsty toxic Heeseung, obsessive, psychosexual dark vibes step bro Heeseung, stalker heeseung, if I can't have you no one can typpa heeseung, deep voyeurism kink, needy/pervy/manipulative reader, strong depiction of fantasies, sexual tension, consensual edging, p in the v, overstimulation, , light choking, public act, bad behavior's reader.

WORDCOUNT ↠ 9k (not proof read enough.. damn...)

Was literally obsessed with those two songs when writing this : https://open.spotify.com/intl-fr/album/4OFZVvqlg84Czl7td7XddK?si=rakigTTnSJyY8CnPyp8A7w

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Heeseung barely glanced up the first time you met.

Not when your mom introduced you, her laugh sharp and grating over the clink of designer glassware. Not when she called you her little angel, like she hadn’t spent the last decade ignoring your existence—like a piece of cloth begging to be brought back just because it’s trendy now. And definitely not when you smiled at him like you actually meant it.

He just slouched further into his hoodie—hood up, sleeves covering half his hands like armor. Said something that might’ve been “hey,” but it sounded more like: I don’t give a shit.

You smiled anyway. Quiet, composed. Like you didn’t notice he hadn’t met your eyes yet, hadn’t even registered the color of his irises. He had a good face, for sure. And a nice name. Heeseung. Hee—seung.

Let’s try not to forget it…

He’s Heeseung—the one who doesn't match the luxury flooring or manicured smiles. Heeseung, who looked more interested in his phone screen than the pricey piece of steak he’d just been served.

You—

You were different. And Heeseung noticed.

Because other girls—especially the daughters of his father’s revolving door of Stepford wives—always played the same game: almost flirty, too fake, self-obsessed, and excited to be part of the family.

You… you were calmer. Almost shy. Ashamed to even call your mom “Mom.” You were also interested in his presence—lightly tapping his foot with yours, giving him those apologetic doe eyes, like: Sorry that my shameless mom got a grip on your already-married dad just to milk him dry…

But it’s not like he divorced his mom for yours. And it’s not like you were the first one. Generally, the other step-siblings never asked about him. Never cared to know what lay beneath the hoodie-tortured-kid style he wore like armor.

You?

You looked at him like he was a person. Like you saw something he didn’t even believe was still there.

And with months—and then a year—maybe… you liked what you saw.

You asked questions. Not the fake kind. Real ones.

“You coded that game on your own?”

“You really won a national contest?”

“That glitch mechanic you added… did you write it from scratch?”

He wasn’t used to that kind of attention. Not anymore.

You leaned over his laptop one afternoon, wide-eyed, genuinely impressed. Your breath was warm on his shoulder, the scent of vanilla and soft detergent clinging to your hoodie—one he was almost sure used to be his.

“You’re kind of a genius,” you’d said, and smiled that smile. Soft. Easy. Like you weren’t afraid of him.

Because why would you be? You were always so nice and caring to him. You’d bring him a plate of food when his dad never cared to check even once. Leave Post-its with sweet pep talks before exams—ones that made him smile for the first time in a decade. Sit silently beside him after he got scolded for placing second on the honor board. Your hand, always soft and peach-scented, would stroke his hair like he wasn’t eight months older. And your eyes—so sweet when they met his.

You weren’t supposed to make him feel things.

And he wasn’t supposed to want someone like you.

But there you were. Not just prim—but infuriatingly so. You weaponized it. You made being stuck-up look like a goddamn virtue. All perfect posture and polite smiles. Still, something was off. Like how you made him open up to you, but never really talked about yourself—your life, your past. Always mysterious, always evasive when he got curious, always turning the tables on him.

You… you made him feel watched. Seen. Known.

And he didn’t like not knowing you back. Because he needed to know everything. It was pathological. Every variable that could disturb his life. Every secret.

And you—you were the unknown variable. The only one he couldn’t figure out.

And the worst part?

Heeseung couldn’t match you. He wasn’t good with people. Never had been. Getting you to open up? Never happening. He even got tense in crowds. Even if girls liked him, he couldn't maintain relationships beyond hookups. He could throw a punch, sure—but he'd rather let the other guy walk off with a smirk, too bored to bother.

But he was good at something: systems. Code. Surveillance.

So he broke the rules he’d promised himself he wouldn’t—with you.

He hacked your devices.

He shouldn’t have connected to them. Shouldn’t have hijacked your phone. Shouldn’t have hacked your webcam feed like it was just another game level to conquer.

It started innocent—ish. Really. Just some harmless digital snooping. New mother, new stepsister, weird vibes, potential threat to his peace and privacy—totally justifiable.

But your passwords were laughable. The kind of thing a middle schooler could crack.

Seriously. “Bookworm123”?

Please.

After all he was Mr. Cybersecurity Prodigy. Award-winning code monkey. VPN for his VPN, two-factor-auth god.

And he peeked. Just a little…

Your instagram private account, that your mom swore you didn’t have because “socials medias was too destructive for her future doctor of a child.”

Your spotify. Pinterest boards. You’re files.

like essays about behavioral neuroscience and a note named “journaling” : Plans. Rage. Angry rebellion written between textbook reviews. Your escape plan : college far away, control of your own life, zero influence from Barbie and her string of Stepdads. How you craved more. Your identity crisis, GPA fetishist, and how competitive you were to the point of mania. Basically, a mirror of Heeseung in the shape of someone who tried to play the hero of his narrative.

Then, it got worse.

Because curiosity became fixation. He was too deep for it not to be.

On sleepless nights, Heeseung discovered things he absolutely shouldn't.

That his straight A’s and volunteering hours stepsister — was actually sneaking off to frat party with her friends, just feel alive, get waisted and let some sophomore finger her.

The music you fall asleep to, your “fuck” playlist too — the one you wouldn’t admit to owning even under threat of death.

That habit of yours to flirt with strangers like you had a death wish or just want to be ruined so badly being jailed would be for your own good. 

That you send cropped pics, no face — just enough tits and thighs, to creeps then ghost them when they beg to meet, just to feel seen.

And he knew the kind of porn you watched on school nights, after wishing him sweet dreams. Earphones on, lips between your t-shirt collar like you’re scared someone might hear you in that big mansion. And what killed him is how fucking rough it is. Spit. Hair-pulling. Throat-fucking. Girls like you weren’t supposed to want that. Girls like you were supposed to blush and look away, like when he got too close. You’re supposed to be horrified at things like that — not get off to it at 1:38 a.m.

He discovered your texts with that secret boyfriend of yours. How badly he treated you—and how you let him, just to feel owned, loved. He knew when you snuck in those late-night FaceTimes, shirt half-off, hand between your thighs, playing the loyal girlfriend for him and his pathetic dick.

And Heeseung? He was obsessed with that version of you—the one he didn’t even dare to fantasize about, yet you handed to him on a silver plate.

Your self-care sessions got him hard under his desk. Got him jerking off to the way your fingers curled around your own throat in the dim hue of your bedroom, playing at power, pretending you didn’t crave being broken open.

You were too good at pretending. Sitting across from him, blouse crisp, smiling like a poetry award was the climax of your week.

What a goddamn lie.

But at least he’d seen you now. Most of you. And he understood better. Understood your issues. But something in him snapped.

Because this wasn’t just about obsession anymore.

It wasn’t about lust.

Or even protection.

It was about you.

And how you made him feel real again.

How you gave him a purpose.

You didn’t flinch when he glared. Didn’t avoid him at dinner. You just smiled, slid him your extra fries, and asked about the AI competition like it mattered. You looked at him like he was a person.

Not a project. Not a problem.

Not a hacker. Not a delinquent.

Not some mistake his father regretted.

And that… made you dangerous.

Because now you were a necessity. Something—someone—he cared about.

He did want to protect you.

But he also wanted to own you.

To erase the line between your bedroom and his. Between your thoughts and his access. Between your gasps at night and his name.

You weren’t supposed to get close.

You weren’t supposed to care.

And he wasn’t supposed to fall for you.

Fall for you?

...

But now what ?

You were the virus in his system.

The girl who said “good job” when he didn’t ask for praise. Who laughed when no one else did. Who touched his shoulder once—just once—and left him with a twitch in his fingers he couldn’t debug.

But you were a line of code he couldn’t rewrite. A live feed he couldn’t turn off.

And maybe, if he watched long enough—if he memorized every breath, every sigh, every single unguarded look—you wouldn’t disappear like the others.

Maybe, if he learned your pattern…he could break you open before you broke him.

And maybe, just maybe, you’d want him to. Even if it meant losing something. Even if it meant pulling you into the dark with him… and never letting you go.

Now you were sitting across from him. You spare him a glance while structuring your salad like a freak, with those doe eyes and he’s hard. Hard at a family dinner while they talked business.

Suddenly his breath catches your feet touching under the table. Like questioning, you good ?

Yeah it’s me, Heeseung. That sweet voice of yours haunting his head. 

His foot slides slower in between your legs mindlessly and when you almost jolt, he realizes. 

“gotta go sleep.” he blurred, rushing off the table. “Tomorrow is exam day.”

Fuck, he wants more. More of your secrets.More of you—the real you.

So he turned on your webcam, night after night, and your phone’s, and tab. like you were his favorite streamer, his favorite radio mc, the best sound to sleep. Like you wanted him to fantasise, think of it every night… 

You were stretched across your bed, laughing into your phone, wearing nothing but a tank and panties, circling your finger on your belly mindless. The way girls do when they forget they’re being watched.

You laid out your clothes for the next day like some little honor-roll princess—giggling when your friend called you a chaebol, and you shrug her off. 

But the way you lingered on the lace you never wear… the silk you only sleep on alone… the sheer pieces he has never seen— holding them up to your chest, slow movements like the reflection was his to tell you what to wear. It was fucking foreplay. You were a fucking siren, with your fucking hair finally down, and those dumb big scare glasses off. 

And him ?

Heeseung…

He was already crashing on the rocks. He was a black-hat addict no-full-blown cyber-pervert. rock hard, mindlessly stroking his bulge at the sheer form of you in unmatched underwears.

So innocent. So mine.

Some days later, you knocked on his door while your parents were off circling the globe, allergic to stillness and obligations. Your hair was tied up but messier than usual, cheeks sun-kissed, eyes almost red—like you’d cried.

God, if someone made you cry… I’d kill them.

You held two glasses of soda, dripping with condensation. No way you could deny you’d been pacing by his door for the last hour.

“What are you up to, genius? I’m bored,” you said, voice half-curious, half-something else.

Heeseung—fool, addict, liar—let you in. Let you get too close. Showed you things he shouldn’t because you asked with that look that made him feel like a god, not a glitch. But also made him wonder who had made you sad enough to want to change your mind.

Still, you smiled at his screens like they were art. Touched his keyboard like it was sacred. No step-sister had ever looked at him like that before—hell, no one actually had. Fuck, he needed to focus. Focus on you, not you.

“You really made all this?”

He nodded, trying not to smirk, trying not to shake. His fingers danced across the keys like a seduction.

“Wanna see something fun?”

A window blinked open. He typed some commands, and grainy footage appeared: the neighbor’s yard. Middle-aged man with hedge clippers, snipping bonsai like manicuring his soul.

He tapped more keys. Suddenly, sprinklers roared to life. The neighbor shrieked, dropped the shears, and bolted.

You burst out laughing, collapsing into him, palm against his chest. That sound—reckless, sweet—made something snap inside him. It wasn’t just pride. It was possession. You weren’t weirded out. You liked it. Liked him. Not the fake polite way. The way that made him want to caress your cheek and kiss those red eyes.

But he was a coward—or your strongest soldier, as he liked to call himself. One who wanted you close, for good, not some fling you’d regret like the others he barely tolerated. No, he wanted you for life—and he was in the perfect position, as long as your parents behaved.

Then your eyes met. Dangerous idea sparking. You dared him with your gaze, then dashed out of his room.

“Try it on my bedroom camera!” you shouted, disappearing down the hall, hoodie flapping like a flag.

Fuck. If only you knew he was already connected.

Moments later — Cam03: Her Bedroom Feed lit up.

You stood in front of the lens—he used to fuck himself to thoughts of you—starry-eyed as he purposefully reactivated the red dot, signaling it was on. Made a mental note to re-enable it later.

You waved. Smiled like sin. Mouthing: “See me?”

He choked. Because yes—he saw you. Always had. But now? Now you saw him.

Like you always knew.

You reached for your top, lifted the hem just enough to flash bare skin, then darted out of frame, laughing like it was a game.

His chest burned. Panic and arousal mixed in his bloodstream like a drug. Heeseung’s brain broke.

But he didn’t shut it down. He couldn’t. Instead, he gave in. His trembling fingers dimmed your room’s lights, shifting godspeed to soft pink. He knew it was your favorite. Knew too much.

Then he started your playlist—the one with soft beats, gentle melody, moonstruck, your favorite.

You paused in the doorway. Turned just enough for the camera to catch you again. Smiled with pure fascination, like a kid. You should’ve been afraid. But you weren’t.

You looked at the cam again, really looked, like he was the sweetest boy, and you didn’t care much what he was capable of—because it was him.

You walked back to his door, dripping sunlight and mischief.

“That was so cool,” you said, high-fiving him like your heart wasn’t thundering. Like you hadn’t just exposed the darkest part of him and come back wanting more. “Can you, like… track people? Their phones or whatever?”

Heeseung blinked. “I-if their GPS is on. Or if they ping the network.”

You tilted your head. Bit your lip. “…Wanna play hide and seek?”

He scoffed in disbelief, but there was a glint behind his eyes—half challenge, half thrill. Like he’d just been dared to play a game he already knew the rules to.

He grabbed his laptop. The mansion was too big. Too full of shadows, quiet corners. A maze of marble, high ceilings, inherited guilt.

Heeseung sat somewhere, a storm brewing behind his eyes.

You texted him: “find me.” One signal. One flare. Then silence.

He tracked you through your phone GPS—chose not to use the hallway cams, even though he easily could have. Something intimate, invasive, about watching your little red dot move on his map. Every time he walked to you was an ode to the game only you two could play.

Library.

“Checkmate. You’re here.”

“Wow! So you really can!”

West Wing.

“If I’m facing a mirror, it’s too easy… not even fun.”

“Fuck…”

Wine Cellar.

“If you’re trying to get drunk, pick the 2007 Bordeaux.”

You laughed.

The pool.

He stuck to the GPS. The red dot blinking. Stalling. Then disappearing.

You texted: “find me now.”

His screen dimmed like the whole house was holding its breath.

Heeseung’s pulse quickened. GPS cut out. No new pings. He tried again. Twice. Three times. Nothing.

Every nerve in his body was a wire of curiosity. The air heavy with chlorine and humidity as he stepped toward the pool deck, leaving his computer by the bar.

Then he found it—your phone, face down on the stone near the pool.

But you, where—

“Got you!” You leapt.

Laughter, bare legs, hoodie off. Heeseung didn’t have time to react before you crashed into him—both of you tumbling into the water with a splash that shattered the silence.

You surfaced first, grinning like a devil. “You can’t find me if I don’t want you to, huh?” you teased, flicking water at him.

Heeseung stared at you, laughing mid-cough. Clothes heavy. Hair plastered to his forehead. The water clung to your skin in a way that made his hands twitch under the surface. You floated closer then. Then reached out and hooked your fingers in his bangs, stroking them like you always did. Then tugging gently.

“How about I cut your hair?” you whispered, too close to him not to have his eyes linger on your lips. “We’re starting university soon. Can’t show up like some code-goblin, right?”

He snorted. But you two didn’t move. Just watched each other's souls for too long. Heart hammering. Skin burning. You were in his pool. In his arms now. In his system.

“Are you okay?”

He, with the most considering eyes a family member ever gave you. But you just nodded to his biggest displeasure. Something was wrong, yeah.

Actually, everything was wrong. And surely something was wrong with you. You felt trapped. In your studies, in your relationship, in these always-new families, in your boring unstable life. You wanted more. More attention, more love, more recognition, more freeness, just more…

You weren't special like Heeseung. You couldn’t clap your fingers and get that video back from your so-called boyfriend—he threatened to leak it if you ever thought of leaving him again. Couldn’t clap your fingers and make a scholarship appear on your forms for university, and couldn’t clap your fingers to make you go to your best choice without the biggest loan you can think about.

But it was better to tell him everything was okay. Because if you didn't fake it… you’d be dead by now.

And maybe it’s the weather, or his concerned look, or his trembling hands on your ribs—not too low, not too high. But it felt good being with Heeseung, even better seeing the way he looked at you—you really had a problem.

“Can you… like… if I ever asked you…”

“What?” He came closer, almost locking in his hands. “Tell me…”

“If someday I needed you, would you… like… help me if I have something very complicated to solve... like… you know, math.” You laughed it off like you weren't about to ask him to get that sextape back.

He nodded so obediently it hurt. Fuck, you had him in the palm of your hand without doing anything more than just letting him watch. Deny his ever-growing desire. Playing this game you caught him in.

Yeah… maybe you really were what your mom made out of you… sadly.

After that, Heeseung was like a man on a mission. He hacked every piece of info he could find on that deep shit. Until he found it… your complicated math exercise…

A tap of you and him. Filmed like you weren’t aware of it. Heeseung couldn’t find the courage to watch it…

Until he did.

And it was everything he ever fantasized doing with you.

I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him.

That guy needed to be out of your life.

Now.

He could frame him for anything he wanted. Crash his Tesla. His mind was spiraling as he bit on his nail, replaying that video again and again and again. Zooming on you.

I’ll protect you.

First, you needed an escape. Easy—that guy already cheated on you with so many girls, it was easy for you to catch him. So he wrote a fantasy he hoped you’d fall for. He drafted messages from your bf’s phone. A fake date. Something sweet, just enough like your boyfriend to pass.

“Meet me tonight baby girl. Just us. Let’s talk. 9PM. My room.”

“Baby girl…” you hated that name, but still couldn’t refuse him. And now Heeseung understood.

You saw it, and for a second, you believed. He watched you re-read it, then start getting ready—lip gloss, that fluttery dress, even that nervous little smile like it still meant something.

Meanwhile, your boyfriend was across campus, buried in someone else. Moaning her name. Careless, as always.

Heeseung watched it all—your hope fading when you opened that door, his betrayal, his choke. Your silence. Her grasp. One earbud in, one eye on every camera feed you both could offer.

You left the place in a rush, your phone starting to buzz as Heeseung watched every message your now-ex boyfriend sent you. You found yourself drifting in a club. You needed air, music, and drinks.

The music wasn’t even that good, your drink, not that strong. You didn’t plan to dance. And you didn’t plan for some no-brain guy with smooth hands to hit on you.

And you almost let him have his way near the bathrooms. Just to forget the sound of your phone. Forget that you had to go back to that guy until he decided he’d had enough or leaked the tape.

Almost.

Until Heeseung’s hand was on your wrist, showing up out of nowhere to pull you away.

“Heeseung?”

He got you out of the club, his hand digging into your wrist. The car ride was dead silent. Heeseung looked pissed. You were hollow, but not dumb. And you let him snap.

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

You didn’t answer.

“... Don’t you have a bf?”

Still silent. Tears welled up before you could blink them back, and Heeseung was at a loss for words. Yeah, it was that easy to shush him—crocodile cries easy.

“Stop crying…” he muttered, but he looked panicked now. Like your tears were acid on his skin. “Tell me what’s going on?”

Like he didn’t know.

But you had to play it well. Make him do it tonight, and no other night.

“He cheated…”

“Then leave him…”

“I can’t…” Hee looked at you with fake wonder. “He filmed me once… and…”

He nodded, enough to tell you you didn’t need to keep going.

When you got home, Heeseung took your hand before you stormed into your room, and he watched you—really watched—and got in a hug. Caressing your hair, getting closer to your ear, “I'll help you.”

You almost feared he could feel your smile. You detached your head with the saddest questioning expression.

“I’ll protect you,” he said, the heaviest stare he ever gave you.

You just nodded like you weren’t expecting much. When you actually wanted exactly what he gave you.

Back in your room, you kept re-seeing Heeseung’s expression. Almost mad, almost dangerous.

And you. You wanted more. You wanted everything—not just protection, but revenge. Revenge for the time you lost on that guy, for your virginity you couldn’t bring back, for the stress… for everything.

So you opened your laptop. Placed your phone next to it like it’s part of the performance. You know he’s watching.

You know.

Heeseung, on his part, got in his room ready to execute the next part of his plan when the ping of your camera alerts him. But tonight is not the night. After seeing you like that, he doesn't want to do that.

So he started to undress. Until—

“Heeseung?”

His head snapped to his monitor. WTF.

“You’re here, no? I mean, you’re watching.”

He almost fell on the ground, unable to walk straight to his computer.

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

The webcam light doesn’t flicker on right away when you open it.

You look at your reflection. This webcam is better than the last time you used it. Wide-angle. Pretty high-def. You can see almost your entire room. Bed. Closet. Console. The mirror angled just right to show the bathroom.

God. You made it so easy for him.

You let your fingers lazily drift to your dress straps. In a slow reveal. You watch yourself in the camera—legs tucked just right to keep mystery intact. Eyes locked on the return. You open your—

“You like it when I do that?” You looked almost innocent doing it. What the fuck were you doing, Heeseung’s mind screamed. “You want more?”

Heeseung was stunned. Too many questions. Too many desires.

He didn’t even respond, his hand mindlessly disconnecting your camera’s red dot and reconnecting again like Morse.

“Then ruin him for me. Make him as ashamed as I was.”

You were pulling his obsession like strings. A puppet master in silk cloth. The light on the webcam flickered once again.

You smiled, slowly nodding. “Good night, Heeseung.” Shut it all down.

By morning, half the campus was infected with a juicy little virus: dozens of very compromising photos of your now-ex, including a special feature of him being pegged by none other than his mom’s best friend.

Iconic.

The breakup text? Already sent. Blocked him before your brain even had a chance to process.

You didn’t see him all day. No dinner, no open door when you brought snacks. Nothing.

Maybe you really fucked up. Poor Heeseung, thinking you were innocent, only to find out you were just like everyone else—grey, messy, complicated.

But just before bed, your phone lit up. A note. Your password written clear on the screen.

You sat frozen, eyes flickering between the note that started typing on its own, and the webcam pointed right at you.

“I’ll always protect you.”

Then, an mp4 file popped up. Your lips curved into a shy smile.

You almost said something, but instead, you tapped beneath his words:

“Thank you, Heeseung. I don’t know what I’d have done if you weren’t there.”

The cursor blinked, paused—like he was thinking hard about what to say next.

“I protect what’s mine.”

Your eyes drifted to the webcam. “Am I?”

“Aren’t you?”

Your gaze dropped shyly, biting your lip to keep the smile from slipping out. Fuck, it was hot—this obsessive, protective boy who’d kill for you.

“I am…” you breathed, fingers playing with the thin straps of your dress.

“Maybe?”

Slowly, you peeled it off. No bra. No panties. Just you—bare, glowing in the soft light of your screen.

Heeseung’s side: panting mess. Trembling. Rock hard. Watching was always intense, but this? His brain shorted out. Every movement you made poured fuel on the fire in his chest—the way you loosened your hair, slid off your glasses, shy but teasing.

Your voice slipped through his headphones like a spell.

“Tell me what you want,” you breathed. “I’ll do it. As a thank you.”

He was nearly feral, watching you perched like a dream made just for him. But now you wanted him to take the lead. For once, you wanted control handed over.

And for a long, heavy moment, silence.

Then, a new line in your notes:

“Anything?”

You nodded, lips parting.

Another line.

“Touch yourself.”

“For me.”

You rose, heading for your bed.

Then:

“No. Here.”

You sat back down. Fully exposed. The chair never felt colder. The electricity on your skin was undeniable—the weight of someone watching, devouring every move.

You shivered. Something folded inside, vulnerable but not scared.

Then your screen flickered.

A video opened.

Porn.

But not just any porn. A girl like you—same frame, soft lighting. She was in a gaming chair, legs parted, cat headphones, a pink toy buzzing between her thighs. Moaning like she’d been waiting for eyes to watch.

You blinked. The message was loud and clear.

Your breath caught—not shocked, but challenged.

Back to the webcam—doe eyes, tempted. Your fingers traced lower, hips shifting, copying her exact position. Mimicry never felt so twisted.

You didn’t hesitate. Your fingers moved.

Heeseung watched like it was a live confession. Pupils dilated, chest heaving, gripping himself tight, trying not to explode too soon.

A message appeared:

“Slower.”

You obeyed, breath shaking, already slick with every stroke.

Another message:

“Fuck, you’re shaking.”

You were. Legs twitching, spine arching against the chair.

You never thought you’d go this far, but he was puppeteering you with his commands.

Then:

“I’ve never seen you like this. Fuck. I want to cum in you. In that chair. Just like that.”

You groaned, eyes fluttering shut, but forced them open—locking onto the lens like it was him.

Another message:

“I want you ruined. For anyone else. Say it.”

You moaned, fingers freezing.

“I’m yours,” you whispered.

“Say it again,” he typed.

“I’m yours, Heeseung.”

The pressure built—right at the edge—

Then:

“Stop.”

“Don’t cum.”

Your breath hitched. You froze mid-stroke, legs trembling.

Another line:

“I said stop. If anyone makes you cum tonight—it’s me.”

Your fingers hovered, shaking. The ache burned deep in your thighs, stomach taut.

But you stopped.

Because his word mattered more than your desire now.

Your screen blinked.

“Get your toy.”

You swallowed, nodded, reached into your drawer.

The vibrator was familiar—sleek, pink, faintly scented from your date-night oil. You rubbed it, coating it with your wetness, then slid it slowly inside, breath heavy.

Then the toy buzzed. Flickered. Came alive.

You gasped—he was controlling it.

Before you could say a word, it pulsed hard. Your body jerked, chair creaking beneath you. Your grip tightened on the arms as pleasure rolled through you like a whip.

“That’s it,” he typed. “Don’t touch it. Just take it.”

You moaned—too much, too fast—your body trembling, legs spreading without control. The sounds you made were filthy, desperate.

Heeseung’s fingers typed again.

“Grip the chair.”

You obeyed.

The toy buzzed harder, relentless and cruel.

“Look at the camera.”

Tears pricked, but you held his gaze—through that little glowing lens. Your thighs trembled, breath catching—

He knew.

He memorized every sound, every gasp, every twitch.

Your climax hit like an explosion—so fierce your back arched from the chair. Toes curled, lips parted in a silent cry.

If only you could hear it—the gasp, the groan, the shuddering moan from his room. Rooms apart, perfectly synced.

You collapsed back against the seat, chest heaving.

The toy powered down. The room fell silent but electric. Only the Notes app stayed open. One final line appears:

“I know your body better than anyone ever will.”

You smile, eyes rolling, calming yourself. You’re still catching your breath when your phone buzzes.

Unknown Caller.

You smirk. Answer it without hesitation.

Hee,” you whisper, lazy satisfaction dripping from your tone.

You hear him—shaky, panting, like the edge nearly broke him. “Fuck,” he groans. “Fuck… You’re so pretty. So fucking pretty. You don’t even know what you do to me.”

His voice is hoarse, frayed with restraint. You picture him—still burning from his climax, hand resting low, skin flushed.

“You drive me insane. Every breath you take, every moan...” He watches you lift your thighs, tucking yourself shyly behind them like a girl playing innocent. “It’s mine. You’re mine. Don’t you get it? I want you so bad I—fuck—I can’t even—”

You cut in softly.

“Heeseung,” you murmur, voice smooth like silk sliding over a blade. “I never said I was yours...”

Silence.

You lean in, sugar-sweet, doe eyes locked on the lens, like you don’t quite know what you’re doing.

“You think this makes me yours?”

He breathes hard. You swear you hear the tension in his throat—how he swallows that growl.

“Then what?” he whispers. “What do I have to do?”

You hum, hiding your face in your thighs, thoughtful. “I’ll know.”

Heeseung almost chokes. “You’re playing with me.”

You tilt your head.

“Of course I am, Hee. Isn’t that what you like? What we always did? Playing games.” Your voice softens, teasing, the tone that always breaks him. “You’re obsessed, Hee. But to own me?” you shake your head slowly. “You’ll have to do more than just watch me cum on camera.”

A pause. You let it hang, let it burn. Then, low and teasing:

“If you really want me,” you whisper. “Stop being a coward. Show me.”

His breath catches. You almost feel the stillness on his end.

Click.

You hang up.

Still smiling, you toss your phone aside.

“Good night, Heeseung,” you murmur to the camera before shutting everything down.

Heeseung hadn’t heard your voice in three days.

Not on the phone, not through the headphones, not even that little intake of breath when you tiptoe around your room late at night.

Three days.

Seventy-two hours of silence.

No webcam flickers. No Notes app replies. No little “good night, Hee” teasing him through pixels.

Nothing.

He tapped at your IP like a lunatic. Pinging dead signals. Checked your cloud for new files. Scraped your cache for cam logs, anything—anything—that might prove you were still playing.

But you weren’t. You’d shut him out completely. Blocked him, in every way that mattered—except the one that destroyed him the most: in person, you were still perfect.

Because in real life, you were still her.

Still the step-sister who sat next to him at dinner, nudging his arm, sipping from his glass like it meant nothing. Still in those stupid soft modest dresses that smelled like your vanilla lotion and innocence. Still saying his name in that sweet voice that didn’t match the girl who once whispered “I’m yours” for a night, while fingering herself in his favorite dress.

Still shy smilling in front of the parents, like he wasn’t slowly going fucking insane of you ghosting him in the cruelest way possible.

Heeseung clenched his jaw until it hurt. His fists, tighter. You were torturing him. Training him with your silence. Denying him touch, sound, ownership—making him feel like just another loser watching from a screen.

And worst of all? You liked it.

He could see it in the way you smiled at him when no one was looking. Like the devil behind a halo. Like the dom who knew her puppy would crawl the moment she said good boy.

You knew what you were doing. And you knew he was starving.

He watched you meet someone new through your messages—tracked him from his first DM. The second the guy sent a heart emoji, Heeseung had full access to his cloud, laptop, phone, and location history.

So when you showed up at that guy’s place in that same dress as that night, Heeseung went feral. watching you through the guy’s hacked MacBook camera. Front-row seat. 1080p. Wide angle. Clear sound. Perfect view.

You didn’t even try to hide untapping your phone camera, angling it for him. But he was already there.

He watched the way you swayed when you walked into the room. That skirt was short—barely legal. Hair done like you were on a mission to ruin him. Lip gloss like you were asking to be kissed. Or owned.

Heeseung’s fists dug into his thigh. You let the guy kiss you. Hands on your hips. Heeseung scoffed in fury. The guy went down on you and Heeseung leaned forward—eyes glued to your face smiling at him. Not for the man.

Only for him.

You mouthed his name, Heeseung, made that sound again—that sweet gasp that cracked every nerve in his body—and his hands were already down his pants before he even realized it. Stroking slowly. Angry.

Then the guy started fucking you. It was… pathetic.

You looked bored. Pretty. But not wrecked. Not how Heeseung would have done you—needed you. Not how you looked when he edged you, whispering commands through your notes.

He texted :

He’s not even close to making you cum.Why are you with him?Stop. 

Now. 

Please.

You didn’t stop. You got louder. Not for performance, because knowing hee was watching, unleashed you.

Heeseung’s hand stuttered. He bit down on his bottom lip so hard it bled. You were performing. For him, not the other guy. You had to be. And yet you didn’t stop when he begged you.

Heeseung didn’t drink. Didn’t smoke. Didn’t call a friend.

He texted one of the girls who’d been orbiting him since he entered university—some pretty, pouty girl with no idea what she was walking into.

She came fast. Obedient. Heeseung fucked her like punishment.

Shoved her onto his lap, dragged her skirt over her hips without a single word. Didn’t ask if she was ready. Didn’t even pretend to care. Just spread her thighs, lined himself up, and buried in—rough, silent, merciless.

She moaned his name, kissing his neck. Heeseung kept his eyes on the screen. Because on the monitor behind her?

You were still live. Fucking someone else. His airpods were in. And he was moaning your name under his breath.

The girl was clueless to much overwhelmed by his deep, rough trust. Riding him like she thought she was doing a good job for him to be so feral. 

Heeseung touched her the way he would have to you, controlling. forcing her in position trying to reach her deepest part, as he watched your hips roll on screen. Your nails dig into someone else’s back.

“Grippe my back. leave marks.” he ordered her.

He hiss, mouthing along with your sounds like a prayer.

“Fuck—Louder. Just like that... Just like that—fuck.”

The girl on his lap whimpered, “does it feel good, Hee?”

Heeseung stared at your body—your lips, your tits, your sweat-shined thighs.

“You’re so perfect,” he muttered. “Fuck—you…”

His climax came hard, violent. He choked your name on the exhale and came inside the girl like she didn’t matter—because she didn’t.

When the girl left, he stared at the screen for an hour. Watched you dress. Watched you check your phone. Smiling.

Not once did you reply to his messages.

You were killing him. Starving him. Making him beg. He slammed the laptop shut, chest heaving, hatred and love boiling into the same sick ache.

You were right. He was a coward. But not for much longer.

You found it on your bed. No card. No note. No sender. Just a black box, wrapped in a ribbon you never heard arrive. Inside: lingerie. Lace. Sheer. Decadent. Your exact size. Your exact taste. Lightly soaked in a scent you could recognize in your sleep—his cologne.

Your fingers trembled when you held it up to the light. No message. But then again, he never needed words.

Heeseung didn’t ask. He tried to command.

So, you didn’t text. Didn’t thank him. You just wore it.

That night, when the webcam light blinked to life, you were already sitting pretty in front of your laptop. Sheer fabric draped over your body like a sin begging to be confessed.

You leaned into the camera, eyes soft, voice sweeter.

“Goodnight, Genius. Hope uni’s not eating you alive.”

And then—

You logged off. Just like that.

Left him starving. You knew he’d pretend it didn’t affect him. He tried, bless him.

He texted the next day, like it was nothing. Invited you to his university party. Like this wasn’t war. Like he wasn’t already losing.

Of course, you went. Dressed in red. Not the lingerie—something sharper. Something that made his friends stare a little too long.

Heeseung barely spoke to you that night. Slipped back into his old self—like he hadn’t spent the week watching you like a man possessed. But he was in his element, charming his nerdy circle, and you were happy just watching him thrive.

Then, it changed.

He didn’t introduce you as his stepsister. That alone cracked the air between you. His hand found your back, fingers tracing lazy nothings while he laughed with his friends, eyes on you like you were art.

You liked seeing him smile. Liked knowing you made it easier.

And then—he excused you both. His friends wished you luck with admissions. So polite. So clueless.

He walked you up a narrow hallway, like it was nothing. A quiet corridor, half-lit.

Then he locked you in a hug.

And kissed your neck.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, hands already exploring.

“You too,” you murmured, smiling. “New haircut? You kept it long in the back. Looks good.”

“You said I should, so...”

You smiled harder, went in for a kiss—your first. His lips were maddening. Soft, sure, and hungrier than you expected. He kissed like he’d waited for years. Like he’d decided waiting was over.

"Untie your dress," he whispered against your mouth, voice low.

You raised a brow, smirking. “Thought you liked watching from afar.”

His jaw flexed. “Not tonight.”

You let the ribbon fall, letting the dress slip open. Underneath—his gift. His breath caught.

“You like it?” you teased.

He didn’t answer. He spun you, pressed you into the wall, and his hand was already between your thighs—finding you soaked.

His mouth brushed your ear, voice cracking with restraint.

“Fuck. You’re so wet for me. I’ve waited so long.”

“Say it,” he growled.

“What?”

His thrust was sharp—two fingers deep.

“Say you want me to ruin you. Say you like it.”

You whimpered, arching into his hand. “I like it when you ruin me.”

“Say it right.”

You licked your lips. “I want to be yours, Heeseung. Ruin me.”

His exhale was jagged—like something inside him broke.

Then came silence. Just heat. Breathing. Fingers moving in and out of you as he grinded against your body, shameless and reckless in a hallway anyone could walk into.

And just before you came—he pulled away.

“No,” he said simply. “Let’s go.”

“Home?”

“No. My room.”

His dorm was massive, dark except for the red glow of a snoozed monitor. His roommate was nowhere. Probably never real to begin with. You practically jumped on him. Messy kisses. Wandering hands. He kissed your neck, your shoulder, your back—and then—

Your hand brushed his desk. The monitors flared to life. And there you were—your webcam feed, glowing on the screen.

Recording. Your name as the file.

“You always make me watch,” he whispered, stripping you down to the lingerie. “Now watch yourself.”

He pulled you onto the bed, body still facing the screen.

“You’re mine,” he murmured, spreading your legs for the camera. “I’ve owned you since the first time you stepped into this house.”

On screen—your reflection trembled. Moaned. Melted in real-time.

He eased fingers inside you again while holding you in his lap, pinching a nipple until you gasped, breath tangled.

“I know what you fantasize about when you’re bored,” he whispered.

He started humping you, slow and heavy.

“I know what kind of porn you scroll past—then go back to.”

Thrust.

“I know which songs you loop when you touch yourself. I synced your playlist.”

You choked on a gasp.

“I know you changed your passwords, just to make me mad.”

His hand curled lightly around your throat.

“But I like it. I like when you pretend.”

He never slowed—just kept pushing you higher, mean and relentless.

And when you moaned his name?

He broke.

“I’m going to give you every twisted thing you’ve ever typed,” he growled. “Every fantasy you deleted. Every filthy draft you couldn’t finish. I’m going to make them real.”

Your climax slammed into you, shuddering through your bones—but he didn’t stop.

“I’ll tie you up in the library when no one’s looking,” he said, voice wicked. “Bend you over your best friend’s bed and leave a bruise only I’ll recognize.”

He laughed.

“I’ll make you cry my name with someone else inside you—just to remind you no one will ever ruin you like I do.”

You turned and kissed him, wild and unhinged.

He kissed back like a claim. Like he was branding your soul.

Then he grabbed you and threw you onto the bed. Reached for a condom.

You stopped him.

“It’s safe today, Hee. Do me raw.”

His pupils darkened. Something dangerous sparked.

He freed himself and dragged his cock against your wetness, teasing your entrance. You moaned each time the head kissed you. His smile was smug. Addicted.

“Heeseung. Please.”

He nodded—and slid in all at once.

You gasped, overwhelmed, stretched so good it hurt in the most perfect way.

He rocked into you deep and slow, biting your neck, lips pressed against skin he couldn’t stop worshipping.

Then he pulled you upright—still inside you.

“You like this position, huh?”

You nodded, dizzy, undone. He studied you like he’d been preparing for a test. He always aced those.

Then—his thrusts changed. Not faster. Just deeper. Harder.

“Hee—”

“Like that, yeah?”

You nodded again, mouth open, breathless at every delicious, punishing thrust.

He looked so fucking good like this—hair sticking to his forehead, lips parted, eyes glazed with need. You went for another kiss and he gripped your neck, slid to your hair, pulling until your back arched.

“Like that?”

“Yeah—yeah—fuck—don’t stop—”

He sucked your tits, relentless now, chasing both your highs. You clenched down so hard his groans turned ragged. He bit your nipple, then folded you in half, throwing your legs over his shoulders.

And then—he lost it.

He didn’t slow.

Not even as your body bucked under him, shaking.

He buried himself deeper, fingers biting into your hips, sweat dripping from his jaw as he fucked you like he wanted to unmake you.

The monitors kept rolling. Your name flashing on screen, over your own moans.

You reached for him—some desperate grasp for balance—but he pinned your wrists above your head, fucked you harder. One of your legs slipped off his shoulder, and he yanked it back up with a grunt.

“Keep it there,” he snarled, breath ragged. “Don’t move unless I say.”

You didn’t.

You couldn’t.

You were already too far gone.

You felt yourself stretch around him again, again, again—your walls pulsing and fluttering with every brutal thrust. It was filthy, unrelenting, and it wasn’t enough.

Heeseung's voice was in your ear, low and wrecked.

“This how you like it?” he panted. “Getting used like this—getting ruined on camera for me?”

You sobbed a yes—high and gasping—and he growled. His hips snapped forward again, this time shoving you higher on the bed.

“Fucking take it.”

He leaned in, biting your lip, grinding deeper. The rhythm turned meaner—each thrust slamming into you with brutal precision.

“You like knowing I’ll replay this?” he whispered. “Jerk off to it when you’re not around?”

You moaned helplessly.

“Want you to. I want you obsessed.”

“Oh, I am,” he said. “You made me this.”

His rhythm stuttered—he was close. You could feel him twitch inside, groaning against your mouth.

Then—

He came.

Hard.

Buried deep.

His whole body went taut over yours, shuddering as he emptied himself, hips rolling slower, deeper. You felt the heat inside you, the stickiness, the way his cock throbbed even after the high.

And still—he didn't pull out.

He kissed your collarbone, your throat, lazily now. Worn out. Quiet.

The screen behind him kept glowing.

Your body was wrecked, your heart pounding against his chest.

He pulled you close, like he wasn’t finished. Like he never would be.

The next morning, the sun barely broke past his blackout curtains. You were still half-naked in his sheets when you heard his fingers tapping at his laptop. A fresh hoodie hung off his shoulder, hair a messy halo.

“Hey,” he said, voice rough with sleep.

You groaned into the pillow. “Already working?”

He smirked. “Coding clears my head. Better than coffee.”

You rolled over. He looked too good like this. Soft around the edges. Eyes warm.

“I wish you could come here,” he said. “To my university.”

You blinked, suddenly alert. He smiled, but it didn’t reach all the way. “You did apply, right?”

“…Yeah.”

He nodded like he already knew. “But you didn’t tell me…pfff.”

Your stomach turned, just a little, as you smirked. “I didn’t want you to be happy for something so unsure.”

“I know.”

Silence. He got back typing. 

“You really think I wouldn’t find out?” he said. “You think I’d just… let you leave somewhere else?”

You narrowed your eyes. “What did you do?”

He smiled. Shrugged. “Nothing you’ll ever be able to prove.”

Your heartbeat slowed. Thick. Smiling unsure.

“Heeseung...”

He stood, walking over. Calm. Barefoot. Still smelling like last night and wanting more.

“I didn’t touch your application,” he said softly. “But I might’ve nudged the scholarship committee. You’re exceptional, after all.”

You froze. “Why?”

“Because you belong here, in that prestigious place and nowhere else.”

His fingers grazed your chin. Tender. Possessive.

“...With me.”

You swallowed. He tilted your face up to his, eyes half-lidded.

“You would've turned it down if you knew,” he murmured, getting his lips closer, smooching slowly. “You’re too proud for that kind of help. Too proud to admit you want to be kept.”

Your voice caught in your throat. “That’s not why I applied.”

“I know why you applied, just like me.”

His thumb ghosted over your lower lip.

“That’s why I made sure you’d stay. to be free.”

A flicker of something dangerous passed between you. Or maybe it had always been there. He leaned in, lips brushing your ear.

“You think you’re playing me right now, huh,” he whispered, “but—what if I like being used, if it means I get to keep you?”

Your breath hitched. And he smiled. Like he’d already won. Or maybe he was wrong. Maybe you’d just let him believe he had.

Author’s Note:

Babies~ here it is!! 💗 The second part of my enha stepbro AU (first one was HUNTED).

I really hope this one pleased you… did it??? 🥺

I worked so hard on this piece to match the exact vibe I had in mind. Like—why was I waking up at 3 AM with wild ideas for scene effects that were borderline impossible to execute?! 😭🌀

This one definitely has a different flavor! While HUNTED leaned into soft, needy sub!Jakey energy (bless him), I wanted TRAPPED to explore the more intoxicating side of obsession—but not so far that we start hating our sweet little Heeseung~ Just a touch of crazy, y’know?

I really hope the mood translated well, because after rereading it 500 times, I fully lost that "first read magic" feeling I’m not super proud of this draft yet—kinda wish I had more time to proofread and polish it up. I’ll probably update it later (perfectionist problems 😭).

Next up is Part 3, which is supposed to be Sunghoon’s! Let me know if you want anything special in it—I’m all ears... and pervy brain. Just know it’s gonna involve dacryphilia, so bring tissues… for various reasons

XOXO

Reblogs and thirsty little thoughts are always appreciated don’t be shy~© Lassiie

@heejunluvr @choeryyxyz @hoonprksung @schniti-is-in-the-house @ii2sanrio @woniedoyouloveme @saeris-world @gonorrheaisme @soobiverse

[minhaemin]

sim jaeyun (jake) fic recs - pt.1

main masterlist

· ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

pls reblog if you like any of my recs and don´t forget to support authors!❤️

[note: yess, ik you´ve seen this before. i just reorganized my whole m.list by memebr, hope yall like it!]

pics i posted on my ig story for my crush to see - ( @lattegyu ) ig stories, fluff, crack, smau, non idol!jake

brought the heat back - ( @jayniks ) smut, idol!jake, giving him a bj while he´s on weverse live sdlkjlsd WHEWW

hello kitty meets batman - ( @star-sim ) fluff, angst, lowkey smut, dark horror creator youtuber!jake, downbad!jake, beauty vlogger youtuber!reader. fans had no idea their fav youtubers were in a long-term secret relationship. THIS IS SO GOOOOOODDDDDDDD plsss, i wish i could read it again for the first time

things we never said - ( @hoonigiris ) very angsty, jake au. it’s heeseung’s wedding, jake’s had too much to drink, and really, he just misses you. perhaps what happens after are the things he should never say. This is realllyy well written, i loved it

taste of heaven - ( @moonstruck-muses ) vamp au, smut, fluff, angst, vamp!jake, human!reader. he´s keeping his true nature a secret. THIS HAS IT ALLLLL and the smut is so gewd too, pls i would love the see another part of this

waiting on calls - ( @miumura ) fluff, angst, exes to lovers, second chance romance, ex bf!jake, non idol au, I LOVE THISSSSSSS, its so different and well written

ouch my head - ( @jakesangel ) loser desperate jake, smau, crack, fluff, "when y/n almost gets hit by a random hot basketball player who happens to have a huge crush on her" this is an on going series, so so so entertaining and fun to read lmao

everything but nothing - ( @cherryrikis ) ANGST (i love that shii), non-idol!au, break up talk, football cap!jake, fluffy happy ending, comfort

too sweet - ( @star-sim ) fluff, suggestive, badboy!jake, nerdy!reader, downbad!jake. Jay is scared he will hurt you in the future so he tries to break things off but at the end of the day he´s whipped LMAOOO, I LOVE ITTTTTT

fuck buddy jake - ( @heeseungsbm ) smut, lowkey fluff bc he´s got a fat crush

texts with ex-bf!jake - ( @bywons ) fluff, CRACK, he´s down bad fr

pictures of bf!jake enha send you - ( @ddksoo ) text, fluff

serendipity - ( @kaiyunsim ) fluff, spiderman!jake, if you love hot loser!jake as much as i do, you´re gonna LOVE this.

between the shelves - ( @liuhsng ) fluff, strangers to lover, soulmate au, alpha!jake, omega!reader, alpha!enha. I LOVEDDD THISSSSSSS, jake´s so dreamy cool and collected, got me giggling and kicking my feet

the price of perfection - ( @woniedarlin ) angst, fluff, academic rival!jake, academic pressure. now now, i know i said i hate those academy rivals, work rivals, enemies to lovers tropes, and i do!, BUUTTT this one´s differente. They aren´t really rivals, she´s just jealouse and jake´s just vibing lmao, but they end up being what each other´s need

[minhaemin]

feeling witchy | jungwon

summary: when you performed the spell to get your familiar, you expected anything but the hybrid you got. now here you are, in college making frowned upon potions with your hybrid familiar. what could go wrong? maybe the fact that you're completely head over heels for your familiar...

pairing: blackcatfamiliar!jungwon x witch!reader

warning: friends to lovers | fluff | angst | smut (dom!jungwon, oral (both receiving), face fxcking, spanking, unprotected sex, lots of dirty talk, spanking, hair pulling) | jungwon calls reader kitten a lot | alcohol consumption (nothing excessive)

word count: 10.2k

taglist: @graythecoffeebean @forwinterstars @k1ttyjwon

"where is it?"

you take a step back, looking over all of the jars until you found the one you were looking for. once you found it, you grabbed it before reading over the label to make sure its the right one. the last thing you needed was to put the wrong ingredient in your potion and mess everything up- especially when you needed the money.

it was perhaps a little frowned upon what you did- selling you potions while you were still in school. it wasn't against any rules to do it, so they really couldn't say anything. but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do to survive. you weren't making nearly as much as you would when you graduated, but it was plenty enough for you and your familiar to get by.

"you finding everything okay, gorgeous?"

your gaze snaps up from the jar, eying the sketchy shop owner who was staring at you from down the aisle. his name was kevin, and if it weren't for the magic ban surrounding the building, he would be completely harmless. at least, you weren't completely weaponless.

you open your mouth to answer, but snap it shut when a black tail wraps around your waist. you look up to see your familiar jungwon staring at kevin with a sharp glare. his eyes turn feline before he lets out a loud hiss. it successfully scares away kevin who tells you he'll be at the register when you're ready.

jungwon's eyes return to normal before his dark gaze meets yours. "why can't we find another ingredient shop again?"

"because the closest one besides this one is an hour away." you respond, putting the jar in the basket he was holding. "besides, you know he's all talk."

"don't ever come here without me."

you roll your eyes, already quite familiar with his commands. you bite back your retort about how your technically the one in charge, and he should be listening to you. but you know that argument never goes anywhere, so you just find it easier to agree with your familiar.

it was very rare for familiars to be hybrids. none of the people at your school had one, and none of your teachers believed you when you said your familiar was a hybrid. it wasn't until he showed up one day with a shit eating grin and proving all of them wrong that they believed you.

you didn't care if they believed you or not, but you also don't blame them for not believing you. you didn't even believe it yourself at first. all you knew was that you were supposed to perform the spell that gives you your familiar on your 16th birthday. you followed everything perfectly- having studied the spell for months. but instead of getting an animal like everyone else, you got a sassy 5'9" black cat hybrid with ears that almost blended in with his black hair.

you didn't mind though. it was nice going through life with an actual person instead of an animal. especially since your parents all but abandoned you as soon as you turned 18. jungwon was there, helping you pick up all of your broken pieces and then some. he was a good familiar and a good friend. a friend that loved to blur the lines of friendship and make you confused about your feelings for him, but a friend nonetheless.

"yes sir." you half heartedly agree with him before moving to grab your last ingredient. you didn't make it very far because of his tail that was still wrapped around you, forcing you to look back at him. he raises his eyebrows as he stares down at you.

"i mean it kitten."

"i know you do, wonnie." you respond to him, rolling your eyes at the ironic nickname. he still looked like he didn't believe you, so you held up your hand to link up with his pinky. "i promise i will not come into this store alone."

he huffed, finally believing you and interlocking your fingers. "good girl." he leaned down, pressing a kiss to your temple before pulling away. "now where's the last ingredient, so we can get out of here."

you duck your head, feeling your face flush as you turn away from him. he follows you, keeping your tail around your wrist like he normally did. he's always been like this- touchy with you. you used to could be able to brush it off, but it started getting harder and harder to do. you didn't understand it, so you brought it up with your close friend and classmate, sunoo.

"oh, that's easy." he answered you instantly. "you like him."

you roll your eyes at his answer. "of course i like him. he's my familiar."

"no, you idiot. i mean you like him more than that."

you originally refused the answer that sunoo gave you. it wasn't until you thought about it that you finally agreed with him. he gloated, but it didn't last long with you said you weren't going to do anything about it. you couldn't be with him.

he was your familiar. you two were bound for life. what if you two got together and broke up? that would make things unnecessarily awkward. that's if he returned those feelings- which you didn't think he did. you would rather just suck it up and ignore them. sunoo didn't agree with any of what you said, and to this day is still trying to convince you to try.

jungwon let out a satisfied sigh once you gave him your last ingredient. he then held out his hand making you roll your eyes. his tail lets go of you when you start digging in your bag before pulling out your wallet. you hand it to him before following him to the register. his broad shoulders block you completely as he checks out. you notice jungwon give kevin one last glare before he leads you out of the store.

"i would still prefer it if we found another shop." jungwon mumbled as the two of you walked down the street where your car was parked.

"i know." you tell him, reaching out and grabbing his hand before stopping him. he looks down at you with a curious gaze. "next time, we will go to a different one. deal?"

the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled brightly down at you, happy he's getting his way. "deal."

the next time you had to go to that dreaded shop was two weeks after yours and jungwon's initial deal. you know he was going to kill you for not bringing him. you weren't technically breaking your promise because you only promised that you weren't going alone, and you weren't. you were bringing sunoo who you've told about the whole situation.

"i feel like this is going to end bad." he retorted as the two of you got out of the car. you shrugged your shoulders before starting to walk down the street.

"probably, but i need these ingredients today." you had someone offer you double your original price if you could get this potion to them tomorrow, and you would be stupid if you didn't accept that. only issue is that jungwon wasn't around to accompany you.

"and why can't jungwon come?"

"i already told you. an arcade opened up downtown. him and jake have been waiting months for it to open. i don't want to ruin that for him."

jake was a fellow golden retriever hybrid that belonged to a mutual friend of your, heeseung. the two of them have been close since you two introduced them a little over a year ago.

"you know he wouldn't mind rescheduling." he told you as he held the door open for you.

"i know that." you sighed, walking into the store. you look around, not seeing kevin just yet. "but i feel like he deserves this. he shouldn't have to suffer because one asshole can't take a hint."

sunoo looked around before looking back at you. "you know this is the only place around here that inhibits our powers? maybe you should listen to jungwon and go to the one i go to. i know the owner, jay. he's pretty cool."

"jungwon and i were talking about it, but i don't have time to drive that far for this order." you tell him as the two of you start grabbing the jars you need. you were thankful he knew exactly what you needed for this potion, so the two of you could hurry and get out of there.

"i still don't know if you're going to have enough time." sunoo told you as you continued to scour the store. "why did you accept the offer anyway?"

you sighed before looking to sunoo. "i need the money. you know jungwon's birthday is comming up. i want to get him something special."

"what are you going to get him?"

"he's been wanting a gaming set up, so he can play with jake and heeseung online instead of having me drive him over there. i didn't realize how expensive it was before coming up with the idea." you explain. when you didn't get a response from sunoo, you look over to see him smirking at him.

"you gonna tell him you're in love with him while you're at it?" you open your mouth to respond to him, but someone interrupted you before you could say anything.

"hey gorgeous. how are you doing today?"

you meet sunoo's gaze for a moment before turning around and seeing kevin standing behind the counter. "doing good. how about you?"

"better since you're here." you roll your eyes at his answer before going back to looking through the store.

"oh my god." sunoo whispered, walking up next to you. "you didn't say he was that creepy."

"yes i did." you laugh at him.

"he's glaring daggers at me." sunoo whined. "we need to hurry."

you nod your head, grabbing the last thing you need. "okay. we can go."

you and sunoo walk over to the counter where kevin was. you handed him the basket, and he started ringing everything up. you were always behind jungwon for this part, so it felt weird watching him- especially when he couldn't even take his eyes off of you for more than two seconds.

"who's your friend?" the two of you look over at kevin when he motions to sunoo. you look over to sunoo with an apologetic expression- which he brushes off before smiling at him.

"i'm sunoo. yn's boyfriend." you eyes widened at his answer for a second before you recover. kevin pauses ringing you up as he looks at you.

"what happened to the cat?"

you finally meet his eyes- this time with a glare. "his name is jungwon, and he is none of you business."

kevin got the message, continuing to ring you up. you feel sunoo grab your hand, squeezing reassuringly which you return. once kevin had everything checked out, he handed you back your basket while he printed out the receipt. once it was printed, he held it up to you with what you thought was a disgusted look.

"so you're little cat doesn't mind you whoring yourself around?" you hear sunoo let out a gasp as you gawk at him. it took you a few seconds to respond to his insult, but once you did, you let out a scoff.

"so because i'm not interested you, i'm a whore?" you question, snatching the receipt out of his hand. "if that's the case, sunoo i guess you're dating a whore."

you quickly turn, not allowing him to respond before you storm out of the store. you hear sunoo running to catch up with you as you make your way back to your car.

"are you okay?" sunoo asked.

"peachy." you answer as the two of you got inside of the car. once you start the car, you let out a groan of frustration as you lay your head on the steering wheel. "we should've went to the other place."

"you're telling jungwon about that right?"

"no." you hear sunoo groan at your answer. "you know exactly what he's going to do, and i don't have bail money."

"you need to tell him. he has no right to say those things to you." you look over at sunoo, knowing that he's right, but not having any clue on how to tell him. you knew he was going to be mad at you, and you hated when he was.

"i know." you sigh, running your hand over your face. "i will. just let me finish this order, and i will tell him."

"okay."

the next day, you had somehow successfully managed to complete the order when it was needed. you don't know how you did it. you had to stay up all night to complete it. thankfully jungwon decided to stay over at heeseung's, so he didn't wonder why you were staying up so late.

you still didn't know how you were going to tell him about yesterday. you thought of every possible way to tell him while you worked on the potion, but none of them seemed good enough. maybe it was just the lack of sleep keeping you from thinking properly.

you had just fallen asleep on the couch when the front door slammed shut. you nearly jump out of your skin at the sound, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes when you saw jungwon storm into the living room. in your half asleep state, you couldn't see the angry expression on his face as you greet him.

"hey wonnie. how was-"

"don't hey wonnie me." he interrupted, confusing you. "why did i just get a call from sunoo telling me the two of you went to kevin's shop yesterday?"

that question woke you up real quick. "look, i was going to tell you, but i fell asleep."

"you shouldn't have to tell me anything. you shouldn't have gone at all. you promised me you would go in there without me." you shrink under jungwon's glare.

"i said i wouldn't go alone, and i didn't."

"you know damn well that's not what i meant." you jump as jungwon glares at you. "what if he tried something? you and sunoo are practically useless without your magic."

your face falls as his words hit you. "jungwon-"

"do you have any idea how irresponsible and dangerous that was?" jungwon questioned. "what was so important that you just had to go back there?"

at least sunoo didn't give that away. not like it mattered. you couldn't bring yourself to even look at him- too ashamed at yourself. your answer wouldn't matter anyway. jungwon just made that clear that he didn't feel the same about you.

you hear jungwon scoff in anger. "of course you don't have an answer. i'm going to stay with jake and hee until you can answer me."

you wait until you hear the front door slam shut before the tears start to fall. you didn't know how you were going to get him to forgive you for this.

you spent the next two days in bed, completely distraught of yours and jungwon's argument. you understood what you did was against what he wanted, so his anger was warranted. but his words weren't- which really hurt you. you tried to call him a couple of times but he didn't answer.

at first you thought it was because he was trying to calm down, but then the doubts started creeping in. maybe he finally got tired of you like your parents. maybe he realized you needed him way more than he needed you- not like he needed you in the first place.

all of these thoughts kept haunting you, even when you were in class. you ended up skipping your last period- choosing to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to catch up from you spacing out during classes.

you were in the middle of reading when someone pulled out the chair in front of you. you looked up, seeing a guilty sunoo sit down in front of you. you look at him for a moment before going back to your work. you know you shouldn't be mad at him. it was your fault, but you wanted to be the one to tell jungwon. you didn't know if it would have made a difference though, but at this point it didn't matter. it already happened, and there wasn't anything you could do to change it.

you look back up when sunoo slides something towards you. you eye the drink he got you, which was your favorite, before looking back at him. "yn, i'm sorry. when i brought that up, i thought you had already told him. i wouldn't have said anything if i knew."

"i know you wouldn't." you tell him, grabbing the drink before taking a sip. "i have no one to blame but myself."

"how did he react? he sounded upset over the phone." you looked away from him at his question, shrugging your shoulders.

"about as bad as you'd expect." you answer, trying not to think of the argument because you knew you would cry again if you did. "he yelled at me before leaving. i haven't seen him since."

sunoo's eyes widened. "he left?"

"he asked me what was so important that i went there for. when i wouldn't tell him, he said he was staying with jake and heeseung until i gave him an answer." you explain, blinking back tears. "i messed up, sunoo. he won't answer any calls or texts from me. i had to call heeseung and make sure he was okay."

"now i feel even worse." sunoo started to tell you but you cut him off.

"don't. it was my fault."

"i still feel bad. i don't even see how you're functioning right now?" sunoo told you. "i feel like i can't be away from daisy for more than a few hours before i start to feel bad."

you let out a sigh as you rest your head on the table. "i feel like shit."

everyone knew the rules of witches. they weren't supposed to be away from their familiars once they got one. the longer the two were apart, the worst the witch felt. you were being scarce with your answer to sunoo. it felt like a piece of you was missing. you were doing everything in your power to not go marching over to heeseung's and seeing him. the only reason you weren't was you were still upset with him.

"you need to go and see him." you look up at sunoo. "i'll come with you after school." you shake your head, mumbling about how you didn't want to see him. "yn, you know it's only going to get worse."

"you didn't hear what he said, sunoo. i know he only said them out of anger, but they still hurt. the last thing i want to do right now is see him."

"what are you going to do?"

"i don't know, but i'll figure something out." you brush it off, wanting to pull away from the subject. "but for now, help me catch up with what i missed."

sunoo looked at you for a moment before nodding his head. "okay."

the two of you studied for a few hours before the two of you went your separate ways. you rubbed at your tired eyes as you unlocked the door to your apartment. you really didn't want to come here since jungwon wasn't here, but you didn't really have any other options.

you close the door, sliding off your shoes when you noticed something. jungown's shoes were in his usual spot. it was then that you could feel his presence. he was here. that made you more nervous than you thought it would. you didn't want him yelling at you again.

you throw your bag on the ground before walking out of the entry way and sure enough, jungwon was there, sitting on the couch while scrolling on his phone. you saw his ear twitch at the sound of your footsteps before he looked up at you. you nearly flinch at his gaze as he stared at you, not making any notion of being the first to talk.

you decided to speak up first. "are you back?"

jungwon shifted, putting his phone in his pocket before patting the spot right next to him. you shift your weight before walking over to him and sitting next to him. you kept your distance though, not knowing if he wanted you close to him.

"you really hurt me, yn." you find your eyes watering as you listen to him. "i asked you not to do something, and you agreed not to just to turn around and do it."

your eyes trail down to your lap where your fingers were playing with your jewelry- a habit you did when you were nervous. "i'm really sorry. i never wanted to hurt you. i thought of sunoo came with me, it would've been okay."

"why didn't you just come to me?" you feel his eyes on you after he asks the question, but you didn't make any move to look at him.

"you had plans with jake and i-" you try to explain, but jungwon stops you.

"that's not an excuse."

"it is for me." you finally look up and meet his gaze. you could tell he was trying hard not to get angry, so you tried to pick your words carefully. "you had been looking forward to those plans for weeks. you had already done so much for me, and i just wanted you to be able to go out and have fun."

"i would've rescheduled." he told you. "you know i would have. we could've went to the other one, and none of this would have happened."

"i know you would've, but i didn't want you to." you pull away from his gaze, not wanting to look at him for your next admission. it was better for him to know everything, even if it upset him even more. "i also didn't have time to go to the other one."

"what do you mean?"

"i took an express order." you told him. the two of you talked about it a couple of times, and you both agreed that you wouldn't do it unless you thought it necessary. "they wanted it by the next morning, so i didn't have time to drive all the way there and back."

you hear jungwon let out a sigh, and you already had a feeling you knew what his next question would be. "are you going to tell me what was so important that you did all of this for?"

"i'm honestly shocked you haven't figured it out yet." you admit as you look over at him again. you watched his eyebrows furrow in confusion. you normally rub your thumb along the crinkle of his forehead when he does that, but you interlocked your fingers to prevent yourself from doing so. "what's coming up next week, wonnie?"

it takes him a second, but he finally figures it out. "kitten, i told you i didn't want anything for my birthday. you already spent enough with heeseung for the party next week."

"do you really think i'm not going to get the most important person to me a gift for their 21st birthday?" you question. "who do you think i am?"

"you're making it really hard to be upset with you." jungwon told you. he was still trying to keep his composure, but all it took was one smile from you for him to loose it. you let out a sigh of relief as the rest of his anger slid away when he laughed. "why didn't you just say that two days ago?"

"you kind of didn't give me a chance." you answer him. your happy mood darkened when you remembered the argument, and what he said to you. you blink away your tears before shifting farther away from him than you were- an act that didn't go unnoticed.

jungwon moved over, grabbing your waist before pulling you to him. you straddled his legs as he pulled you to his chest. you wrapped your arms around his neck, and jungwon swore he felt his heart break when you started crying. "i'm so sorry for what i said, kitten."

"i didn't mean any of it." he continued, rubbing his hand down your back to try to comfort you. "you're not useless or irresponsible. you are the complete opposite. i wouldn't be able to function without you by my side."

"i thought you were going to leave me." jungwon's arms tightened around you at the confession.

"never." he pulled you away from him. he looked at you softly while brushing away your tears before cupping your cheeks and making you look at him. "you're stuck with me for the rest of your life."

"you promise?"

jungwon nodded, kissing your temple before pulling you back into his arms. "i promise."

after you and jungwon made up, things between the two of you almost went back to the way they were before. key word being almost. you couldn't understand what was different, but there was something different about the two of you that you couldn't put your finger on.

you tried to explain it to sunoo, but for once, he didn't have an answer either- just as stumped as you were. you choose to just brush it off since it wasn't causing any harm. you didn't have any choice since today was jungwon's party.

jake has kept jungwon busy all day while you, heeseung, and sunoo help set up everything. it took most of the day for you three to set everything up, and you were pretty sure your hands were going to be sore tomorrow from tying so many balloons. but it was worth it. heeseung's place looked great.

people had already started to show up when you and sunoo were finishing up setting up the food. heeseung turned on the music and dimmed the lights while you did one last look around to make sure everything was perfect.

you pulled out your phone to text jungwon to see when he would be here when something wrapped around your waist. you glance down, seeing the black tail that you know belonged to your familiar before turning around. he laughs, catching you when you jump into his arms.

"happy birthday, wonnie."

"thank you kitten." he kissed your cheek as he set you down. "this place looks great. you and heeseung did a good job."

"i helped too!" you turn when you hear sunoo's voice.

you pulled away from jungwon, so he could greet sunoo. the three of you stand there for a minute, talking about setting up when some other friends of his came to greet jungwon. you and sunoo shared a look before you both moved away, so he could hang out with his friends, though you stopped when jungwon's tail wrapped around your wrist.

"where are you going?"

"i'm going to get a drink." you answer. "i'll catch up with you. go have fun with your friends."

though you kind of regret that now. the party's been in swing for a few hours, and you all have just sang happy birthday to him. people, including you, were starting to get tipsy from alcohol. you were still fully aware what was going on, but you could feel the effects of the alcohol despite this only being your third drink. you blame yourself for allowing heeseung to mix the drinks.

you were talking with two witches from your class, glancing back occasionally to check on jungwon. he was sitting on the couch on the other side of the room from you. you haven't been able to talk to him since earlier, and it seemed like every time you tried, he would get swamped with friends.

this time when you glanced back, you noticed that there was a new girl sitting next to him- another cat hybrid. you didn't recognize her as you looked her over. her brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and her dress was very short. you shrugged her off at first, thinking she was just a friend. but then she placed her hand on his thigh with a flirty smile, and jungwon didn't push her away. you felt your heart sink when he smiled back at her.

you look away from them, staring down at your drink while you tried to hide your jealousy. of course he wouldn't want a witch. why would he when he could have a pretty hybrid like the one right next to him? you felt yourself become sick at the thought of him being someone else's. you turn back around to look again when someone wrapped their arm around your shoulder.

"what's cooking, good looking?" you smile before looking up and meeting the eyes of jake.

"hey jake." you greet, turning to him fully. "you having fun?"

he pulled you closer to him, leaning down so you could hear him. "you and hee really know how to throw a party. you need to do mine next."

"of course." you agree. "you could do it early on halloween and have everyone dress up."

jake gasped, clearly loving the idea. "you're a genius babe! you should dress up as tinker bell and i'll be peter pan."

"jungwon could be your wendy." you joked, laughing when jake doubled over in laughter. clearly, he had a little too much to drink. once he recovered, he pulled you back underneath his arm, which wasn't anything new. everyone knew jake was touchy. "speaking of jungwon. who's that girl next to him?"

jake turned and looked, letting out a scoff before turning back to you. "that's sarah. she's been trying to get with jungwon for i don't know how long."

"he's never mentioned her to me." you hum, taking a sip of your drink and nearly spitting it out when jake gets close to your face again.

"probably because he hates her."

it was your turn to let out a scoff. you turned to see if they were still in the same position as before, and they were. "where do you see that? the two are currently cuddled up on the couch together."

"are you jealous?" you roll your eyes at his question. thankfully the lights were dim enough to hide your blush.

"no. they're just painting a different picture than what you're saying."

"don't worry, babe. you're secret's safe with me." jake smiles at you when you shove him. "not like it's much of a secret anyway. you two are so obvious about it."

"shut up." you glare. you didn't miss the fact that he said the two of you instead of just you. you just didn't want to believe him. especially not with the scene that was playing out behind you.

"wanna make him jealous?" he asks, confusing you.

"how would we do that?"

"do you trust me?" you shrug at his question.

"i probably shouldn't."

you look away for a moment, greeting a friend as they passed by you two. as soon as you turn your attention back to jake, you jump in shock when his lips meet yours. you don't even kiss him back. you just stand there when he's ripped away from you. your view of jake is blocked by jungwon.

"what the fuck jake?"

"come on man." you hear jake's whine. "we were having fun. weren't we yn?"

jungwon turned around, looking down at still very confused you. you could see his eyes flickering between his normal ones and his cat like ones- a clear sign he was mad. his hand suddenly grabbed your wrist before pulling you away.

"jungwon? what are you doing?" you question as he pulls you towards the stairs. apparently, you weren't going fast enough because jungwon turned to you again. you let out a yell when he threw you over his shoulder before making his way upstairs. "jungwon, what the hell? put me down!"

he ignored you and kept walking until he reached the guest bedroom where he stays when he's here. you let out another yell when he throws you onto the bed. you bounce at the movement before you hear the door slam shut. you look over at jungwon like he had lost his mind.

"what the hell is wrong with you?"

"i should be asking you that." jungwon retorted. "why the hell were you kissing jake?"

you let out a groan before standing up. "i didn't do anything. blame your best friend."

he didn't respond to you causing you to look over at him. he still had a glare on his face as he stalked towards you like you were pray. you didn't move out of your spot as when he stopped in front of you. "you shouldn't have kissed him. you aren't his."

what the hell was that supposed to mean? you weren't jakes? did that mean you were his? you couldn't tell how he meant it. as a friend? more than a friend? you didn't think a friend would get mad at you for kissing some one. was jake right when he said jungwon liked you back?

"i didn't kiss jake." you told him when you recovered from his words. "he asked me if i trusted him. i stupidly said yes, and he kissed me. i didn't kiss him back, and i didn't even have a chance to push him away before you showed up." jungwon looks at you for a moment. once he could tell you were telling the truth, he moved away before trying to leave the room. "where are you going?"

"to kill jake." you flicked your wrist when jungwon opened the door causing the door to slam shut. you didn't only shock jungwon, but also yourself with that move. you never used magic on jungwon. he tried to open the door, but he knew it wouldn't budge until you opened it yourself. he turned to you with a look you haven't seen from him before. "open the door yn."

"no." you stand your ground. "you can't just throw me over your shoulder, tell me i'm not jakes, and then leave. what are you even going to do when you go back out there? yell at jake before going back to sarah?"

you let the words flow out of your mouth without even thinking about them. you weren't sure where this confidence was coming from. "maybe i should go back out there too. i could find jake, and we can finish what we started."

a low growl comes out of his mouth when he storms back to you. this time when he reaches you, his hand wraps around your hair, pulling your head back to look up at him. his eyes feline as he bent down to your level. "you are mine. do you understand me? mine."

"then prove it."

his hand tightens around your hair at your words before his lips slam into yours. the hand that isn't tangled in your hair grips your waist and pulls you closer to him. your hands move to grip his shirt as you kiss him back. his tongue slides past your lips before tangling with yours, causing a soft moan to escape. his grip on your waist tightens around your waist before he pulls away from you.

when he pulled back, he rested his head on yours. his eyes weren't feline anymore. the reality of what just happened hit you. your familiar kissed you. you kissed him back. and now that you have, you never wanted him to stop. his hand fell from your hair before brushing against your cheek.

"kitten." his lips brushed against yours as he spoke. "if you don't want this, you need to tell me to stop, and we'll forget this ever happened."

he was giving you the chance to back away. you stuttered for a moment, thinking that maybe he wanted to stop. but then you felt his erection pressing against your stomach. he wanted this just as much as you.

instead of responding to him, you leaned up, capturing his lips once again. jungwon got the message, kissing you back while his hands explored every inch of you. his hands slid under your shirt, slowly trailing up while his lips left yours before moving to your neck.

you let out a gasp when his hands cupped your breasts as he left a dark bruise on your neck. you gripped his shoulders to keep steady when he pulled his face away from your neck. he kissed you one last time before pulling away.

"are you sure you want this, yn?"

"i do." you instantly answered him, a desperate plea in your tone. "please, wonnie."

whatever hesitation jungwon had disappeared the moment you begged for him. you could see the shift in him, and it turned you on even more. "then get on your knees, kitten."

you did as he said, sitting on your knees before looking up at him. he let out a groan before his hand brushed your cheek. "always my perfect girl. listening to everything i say. isn't that right?" you nod your head at his question. "here's what gonna happen kitten. you're going to be a good girl and suck my cock before i have fun with that pretty pussy okay?"

you let out a whine at his words, not used to your familiar talking to you so crude. he could tell you loved it though by the subtle shift in your thighs. once you nodded your head, you watched as his hands went to his jeans. he unbuttons his jeans before sliding them and his boxers down his hips. you eyes widen as his dick springs out, but you didn't make any move towards him. not until he motioned you forward did you move.

one had rested on his thigh while the other one wrapped around his length. you pump his length a few times, earning a groan from jungwon before you leaned forward. you licked the underside of his length before placing his head in your mouth and sucking. you watched as jungwon threw his head back as you started to bob your head, using your hand for what you couldn't fit in your mouth.

"my sweet kitten- fuck." you nearly gagged when he thrusted into your mouth. his hand moved around to grip your hair again as he continued to move his hips. you kept your hands on his hips for stability. "are you going to let me cum in this pretty mouth, kitten?"

you moan at his words, feeling your eyes start to water. you could tell he was getting close from the sounds he was making. after a few more thrusts, you felt his release hit the back of your throat, making you gag. when he pulled away from you, you let out cough after you swallowed. you were catching you breath when you saw him bend down.

"open." you do as he says, opening your mouth to show him. "good girl."

your arms wrap around his neck as his lips press against yours. you try to get up, but you feel yourself being lifted by jungwon before you could. your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you over to bed. you felt your back hit the bed as jungwon laid you down. his teeth bite your bottom lip before he pulls away.

his hands grip the bottom of your shirt, and you sit up enough for him to pull it over your head. his lips attach to your neck, biting and marking every place his lips touch. you arch into his touch when his hands squeeze your breasts.

"so responsive, kitten."

his hands squeeze your breast again before he moves to unhook your bra. he slides it down your arms, throwing it before moving down your body. you let out a moan when his lips attach to your nipple, sucking harshly.

"fuck, wonnie."

he smirks against your breast, clearly loving the sounds that are coming out of you. he continues to bite and suck, leaving bruises all over your chest and stomach. he stops at the hem of your jeans and chuckles when you shift your hips.

"does my girl need some relief?"

"yes." you answer, jumping when he bits your thigh. "please wonnie."

he kneels down between your legs, quickly unbuttoning your pants before pulling them down your legs. his lips ghost up your thigh as he makes his way to your heat. "god, kitten. you're never wearing clothes around me again."

jungwon lifts your legs, placing them over his shoulder as he lines his face with your heat. he tests the waters, sticking his tongue out, tasting you and groaning as he does so. after a small whine from you, he finally gives you the relief you want. his tongue darts out again, easily finding your clit. you back arches when he flicks it before attaching his lips to it.

"fuck." you roll your hips against his face. the action causes a groan to come out of jungwon.

"i can't believe i waited so long to do this." he mumbles against you. "you taste so good, kitten."

he trails his fingers around your entrance before slowly pushing his index finger in. you squeeze around his finger as you adjust to him. your hands grip the sheets, a moan coming out of your mouth when he curls his finger.

"wonnie." you cry out when he eases a second finger inside of you. his speed increased while his tongue continued to move in patterns on your clit. you were a moaning mess beneath him, gripping his hair in your hand while he brought you closer to your climax. "wonnie, i- fuck."

you couldn't even fully warn him before you climaxed. jungwon tightened his grip on your waist, continuing his movements and not showing any signs of slowing down. you felt overly sensitive as you came down from your high, trying to pull away from jungwon. he open his eyes before looking up at you.

"you can handle one more, right kitten?" you found yourself nodding at his question before you could even think. "one more before i fill you with my cock."

you whine at his words. you feel jungwon smirk against you before his lips reattaches to your clit. you moan out his name again, completely losing yourself in his touch. it didn't take long at all for your second climax to build back up.

"wonnie, i'm-"

"i know, kitten." you hear him say. "you're going to be my perfect girl and cum all over my fingers again, aren't you?"

"yes." you moan out.

all it took was one more curl of jungwon's fingers before you climaxed again. he helped you through your high before pulling away from you. his lips ghost up your body before pressing against you lips. his tongue pushes through your lips, brushing against yours. he pulled away, giving you one last kiss before leaning up.

"roll over kitten." you do as he says and rolling over onto your stomach. jungwon grabs your waist, pulling you to where you were on your knees. you look over your shoulder when you hear rustling. he discarded the rest of his clothes before looking at you. his hands run over your ass before kneading the flesh. "who does this ass belong to yn? does it belong to jake?"

you jump slightly when his hand lands on your cheek. "no."

"then who does it belong to?"

"you." he slaps your ass again at your answer.

"i didn't quite catch that kitten."

"you, wonnie." you whine. he groans in satisfaction, running his hands over the spot he spanked.

"that's right. so what aren't we going to let jake do again?"

"kiss me." you answer, jumping when he spanked you. you look in confusion to see him clearly waiting for the right answer. "touch me?" he spanked you again. you let out a whine of frustration as he slid his dick through your folds. "anything because he's not you?"

"good girl." you let out a loud moan when jungwon entered you in one smooth thrust. he stills, allowing you a moment to adjust. he leans forward, pressing kisses along your spine. "do you feel how well your pussy takes me kitten? like she knew she was mine this whole time."

you whimper at his words, silently begging him to move. you shift your hips as you try to get him to move. he gets the message, tightly gripping your waist before he pulls almost completely out of you. he slams back into you full force, a choked moan coming out of you at his speed. if he didn't have such a good grip on you, you don't think you would be able to hold yourself up- even if you were pretty sure there were going to be bruises tomorrow.

"fuck wonnie."

"does that feel good?"

"s-so good."

the only thing that could be heard was the slapping of skin, along with the two of your moans. you didn't think he could possible go any faster, but he did the closer he got to his climax. he let out a groan when you squeezed him. "fuck, kitten. i'm not- fuck."

his hand left your hip when you squeezed him again. you gasp as his hand finds your clit, rubbing harshly and bringing you close to your climax. "wonnie. please."

"come on, kitten." jungwon leaned forward again, kissing your shoulder. "let me feel you cum all over me."

you felt tears prick your eyes as you climax for the third time- his name falling from your lips. he groans when you squeeze him, bringing him to his own climax. you feel him fill you before he pulls out of you. he catches you when your legs finally give out on you, helping you lay down.

"you did so good, kitten." he whispers as he presses light kisses to your face, ending on your lips. "i didn't hurt you, did i?"

you shook your head, a small smile gracing your lips as you looked at him. "no, wonnie. you didn't hurt me."

a yawn came out of your mouth, the exhaustion of your guys activities finally hitting you. jungwon leaned down, kissing your forehead.

"rest kitten. i'll take care of you."

you let out a soft groan, wiping the sleep from your eyes before blinking them open. you freeze, not recognizing the room you were in until it hit you. you were in jungwon's room. a room that you don't normally come in unless necessary because he's very particular about scents. but here you were, in his bed. you look down to also see that you were in one of his shirts.

you remember faintly what happened after jungwon gave you the best night of your life. he helped clean you up before redressing you. he wanted to leave heeseung's, but you couldn't remember why. you do remember him hissing at jake when he stepped to close to you as he was carrying you to the car. you fell asleep in the car, and don't remember anything after that.

you shift slightly, feeling an arm tighten around your waist. you turn your head to see jungwon tucked into your back. his breathing shallow as he sleeps next to you. he frowned when you shifted again, and in his sleep, his tail moved to slide around your bare thigh.

maybe in jake's drunken stupor he was right. maybe jungwon did feel the same. you really hoped so at least, and it wasn't just sex. if it was just sex to him, he wouldn't have taken care of you while you were asleep. he wouldn't have changed you into his clothes before putting you in his bed. he wouldn't be wrapped around you like he didn't want you to leave if it was just sex. you really hoped so because you wouldn't survive it was just sex.

before you could go down that road, your bladder stopped you. you really had to use the bathroom. you struggled, gently unwrapping his tail before his arm. you shifted closer to the edge of the bed before sitting up. right as you sat up, jungwon's arm wrapped around you again, pulling you to him. you land back on the bed with a yelp before looking up at jungwon who was hovering over you.

"where are you going kitten?"

you swallow when his nose brushes yours. "i- um. bathroom."

"you sure about that?" he teased, noticing your stuttering. you flush before nodding your head. he moved off of you to lay next to you. "use mine."

you look over at him in shock, but didn't ask him why as you got back up. the only time you were ever in his bathroom was before you moved in here. you turn on the light, shutting the door before doing your business. you looked in the mirror after you were done, expecting that you would look a mess since you didn't take your make up off last night. your hair was slightly messed up from sleeping, but there wasn't any makeup on your face. did jungwon take off your makeup?

you leave the bathroom, more confused than when you came in there. you see him laying in bed, back facing you. you thought he fell asleep again, but he shifted when you heard you walk back in the room. he lifted his arm, silently calling you back to him.

"did you take off my makeup?" you ask as you shuffle back towards him.

"yes. you hate sleeping in your makeup." he shrugged like it was nothing. you felt your heart flip at his words. he really did take care of you while you were asleep.

as soon as your thighs brushed the bed, jungwon lifted up the blankets for you. you hesitantly slid back in and pulled the covers over you before laying on your back, looking at the ceiling. you hear him chuckle causing you to look over at him. he was resting on his arm, looking down at you with an amused look.

"what's wrong kitten?" he questions. "you look nervous. you weren't nervous last night."

you roll your eyes at his innuendo. "i'm not nervous."

"then what are you?"

"confused." you answer hesitantly. he watches you as you look away from him. "you told me a hundred times never to come in your room, but here i am. in your room. in your bed. after using your bathroom."

jungwon shifts closer to you, moving his hand to play with yours. "ask me why i asked you to not come in here."

"why?" you ask after a moment.

"i couldn't deal with your scent in here." he answered. you furrowed your brows in confusion, sort of hurt from that sentence. "i'm already tortured by your sweet scent everywhere else in this apartment. i needed somewhere safe, or i was going to do something crazy."

"crazy like?"

"last night." he looked up at you when you snatched your hand away from him. you looked away, but not quick enough for him to see you blink back tears.

you move away from him, trying to get out of the bed. "i knew it just sex for you."

"hey." he grabbed your waist, stopping you again from getting up. you struggled, trying to pry his arm off of you, but it was useless. he pulled you back to him. "it was not just sex for me."

"you just said it was crazy." you sniffle, still not looking at him.

"i meant the part where i threw you over my shoulder in the middle of the party." he clarified. "not the part where we had sex."

"so you don't regret it?" you ask, finally looking over at him. he removed his hand from your waist, cupping your cheeks and wiping a few stray tears.

"no." he answered. "i wish our first time wouldn't have been in the middle of a party, but i don't regret it. nor would i change a thing. i meant everything that happened last night."

you nod your head, believing him. he smiled at you before leaning down and catching your lips with his. unlike last night, the kiss was soft and unrushed. you lift up your hand, brushing it along his fluffy cat ear. he pulls you closer to him before settling in between your legs. his tongue tangles with yours as his hands explored your body.

"you belong to me." jungwon whispers against your lips as he pulls away. his fingers grip your thigh, running over an old scar. "all your scars? mine." you jump, a gasp coming out of your mouth when he cups your heat. "this pussy? mine." his hand then trailed up before tapping your chest. "this heart? mine. just like mine belongs to you."

your eyes widen at his confession. "wonnie-"

"i knew i was yours the moment we met." he told you, brushing your hair behind your ear. "i'll never forget it. the way you looked at me with those wide eyes. i knew i was a goner. i knew that i would do anything you asked me to just so i could stay by your side."

your at a loss for words. not like he gives you a chance anyway because he kisses you again. you pull him closer, melting in his embrace. his lips pulled away when you needed oxygen. he kissed the corner of your mouth before trailing down your jaw.

"the first thing i felt when i conjured you was fear." you mumble, smiling when he chuckles against your neck. "it wasn't because i was scared of you. i was scared of how you made me feel. what 16 year old girl falls in love with her hybrid familiar?"

you feel his lips stop kissing your neck when his words hit him. he pulls back, looking down at you. "please tell me you meant to say that."

"say what, wonnie?" you ask, a teasing hint to your voice. a whine slips past his lips at the teasing. "i wouldn't have said it if i didn't mean it."

"say it again. please."

"i love you, jungwon." as soon as the words leave your mouth, his lips pressed to yours. his hands cup your cheeks as he tried to get closer to you. his lips stayed against yours until your lungs felt like they were going to explode.

"i love you, yn." he told you as he pulled away. you let out a relieved breath that he felt the same. "i love you so much, kitten. seeing you with jake last night nearly killed me."

"so did me seeing you with sarah." you told him. you watched as his features turned to confusion.

"who's sarah?"

"the bitch you were with last night." you answered. "she was all over you."

you watch as jungwon smiled at you. you then realized the mistake of your words. "jealous, kitten?"

"i hate you." you grumble, upset you fell into his trap.

"no you don't." he smiled before kissing you. "you love me."

"i change my mind." you laugh as he gasps at you.

"take it back." you shake your head. you scream when his hands attack your sides. you try to move away from him, but his legs were trapping you.

"stop!"

"tell me you love me."

"i love you." his hands froze when the words left your lips. you gasp for air as he smiles down at you.

"sarah means nothing to me. in fact, i can't stand her." jungwon told you. "jake told me to let her flirt with me to see if you would get jealous, so i did. hated every second of it. then to top it off, when i looked at you, jake was kissing you."

"he asked me if i wanted to make you jealous." you tell him. "that's why he asked me to trust him. i really didn't think he would kiss me."

"idiot." jungwon grumbled. you laugh at his pout, reaching up and kissing his pouting lips. he responded instantly, slightly groaning against your lips.

jungwon's hands traveled down your sides before slipping under your shirt. you sigh into the kiss as his hands explore your stomach before traveling to your chest. he squeezes your chest causing a moan to slip past your lips. you lift your hips, brushing your core against his already hard erection.

"you're not too sore, are you?" jungwon asked as he pulled away.

"no." you answered with a shake of your head. "please. i need you."

"fuck kitten." he groans before kissing you. his hands play with your nipples until you're moaning into his mouth. his lips leave yours before pulling up your shirt and attaching his lips to your breasts.

"wonnie." you moan at the contact.

his hand squeezes your other breast while his other travels to your underwear. he runs his finger along the top of your underwear, smirking when you moan at the contact. "you're already soaked, kitten."

"please wonnie."

he pushes your underwear to the side, playing with your clit with his thumb while his index finger teases your entrance. you moan at the stretch when his finger pushes inside of you. he takes his time, allowing you to adjust before adding a second finger. you arch your chest into his mouth when he curls his fingers.

he speeds up, loving the moans that are coming out of your mouth for him. he looks up, seeing your eyes sealed shut as you lose yourself to the pleasure. he lifts away from your breast before moving back up your body. his lips press against yours, swallowing all of your sounds.

"god, you sound so pretty, kitten. i love how responsive you are for me." he praises. you squeeze around his fingers at the compliment. "does my girl like being praised?"

"wonnie." you whine. "i- i'm close."

"i know, sweet girl." he curls his fingers again and again until you saw stars. you gripped onto his bare shoulder as he brought you to your climax. he kissed all over your face as you recovered. "you look so beautiful when you cum, kitten."

you blush, shyly pushing him away. he laughs at your embarrassment of his words. he eases his fingers out of you causing you to moan at the loss. you watch him as he moves his hand to his mouth, sucking on his fingers that were just inside of you. he groans at the taste of you before pulling his fingers out of his mouth and replacing it with yours.

you kiss him back while your hands slip into his sweats. he jerks into your hand, moaning into your mouth when your hand wraps around him. you stroke him gently, feeling him relax at the feeling. soon, he pulls your hand away before stripping you out of your underwear. he slips his sweats down enough to get his dick out before looking at you.

"are you sure you're not too sore?"

you shake your head. "i'm not. please fuck me."

he wraps his hand around his dick, running it through your folds and getting a moan out of you before he slid the tip in. unlike last night, he doesn't push fully in. he moves inch by inch, making sure you're okay before he continues. he groans, pressing his forehead to yours once he's flush against your hips.

"you feel so good kitten." he kisses you.

"fuck, wonnie." you beg, shifting your hips. "please move."

he does as you ask, thrusting slowly at first before he speeds up. you claw down his back as he speeds up even more. "fuck, w-wonnie. i love you."

"i love you kitten. so much." he responds, loosing himself in pleasure like you were. he moved your thighs to wrap around him, allowing him to go in deeper. you moan at the feeling of him. "i can feel you squeezing around me kitten. are you close?"

you nod your head. "y-yes. i'm close."

at your answer, he speeds up, chasing his high with you. his hand starts rubbing your clit, and you cry out as he brings you to your climax. he lets out a curse before spilling into you right after. he all but collapses on top of you as you both try to catch your breath.

once he recovers, he kisses you while praising you. "you always do so good for me kitten. i'm never going to get tired of you."

"you promise?"

"i promise." you kiss him again at his promise. he kisses you back before slipping out of you. you groan into his mouth as he pulls away. "i'll be right back."

he gets off of you, fixing his sweats before disappearing into the bathroom. after a minute, he returns with a warm rag, cleaning you up before tucking you back in bed. he slides in beside you. you lift up your arm when he cuddles into you, resting his head on your chest as his legs tangle with yours. you stroke his hair. he relaxes into you, as you do him, but there was something missing.

"do the thing." you speak up.

"yn-" jungwon groans, but you stop him.

"if you love me, you'll do it." you hear jungwon let out a sigh of defeat. you smile when you hear the soft purring coming from him. you kiss his head. "i love you wonnie."

"i love you too, kitten."

[minhaemin]

Finally got to read this and i can proudly say that i ruined my panties :D

dtf.― p.js , s.jy

Jake isn’t a fucking cuck, but damn if you don’t look good with Jay on you like that. Yes, Jay. His arch nemesis. The stupid toned-muscle, nice car driving, fat cock throbbing, pretty lips and seductive voice having, bitchass neighbor… or the one where jay is a super cocky rich neighbor who really, really doesn’t care if jake, your husband, knows how badly he wants to not just fuck you, but both of you. The only thing better than one brat to jay just so happens to be two brats.

PATREON REQUEST | MDNI

WORDCOUNT― 7.4k

PAIRING― sim jaeyun x afab reader (ft.neighbor brat tamer park jongseong)

CONTENT― neighbor au, husband jake, threesome, smut, jayke action, jay tops everyone, jake only tops you.

DISCLAIMER ― there is a lot of emphasis on jayke and the reader is cucking them. i got feral for a bit, pls forgive. 

NOTE― JAYKE GIRLIES RISE. p.s. Not entirely proof read, i struggled a lot writing a threesome this time, idk why ;-; pls forgive lil ol sj 

SMUT TAGS ― threesome, guy on guy action, anal fingering , pussy eating, cock sucking [jake throats him], overstimulation, jay is a bit more dominant but all three of them are practically a pile of jelly, raw grinding, double vaginal penetration, dick against dick stuff, some guiding/hair tugging [jake receiving], cream pie, squirting

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jake stares through his living room window, knowing damn fucking well why his neighbor is outside pretending to pull weeds in his back garden right now. The fact that said neighbor is very aware that Jake is watching him? 

It’s pissing him off.

Jay, the cocky, toned torso, asshole is trying to push his buttons standing out there with his shirt off. He just knows it. Those smirks aren’t unnoticed. What’s worse is that those smirks are always directed at him, right before Jay’s eyes are all over you. Jake’s beloved, his fucking wife. 

The fact that the idiot next door thinks he’s really gonna do something is borderline psychotic. Being so open about it, so blatantly confident?

All he has to do is fucking ask, but no. He’s being sneaky. Jay flirts with you behind his back, the dude brings you the mail before he can even get outside to do it himself, he brings over extra groceries, he does this, he does that…all because he thinks he can like…have an affair with you or something?

An idiot, is what that guy is. A very, very attractive idiot. It’s not like you and Jake are against having fun with a third, it’s just the fact that Jay is sitting here like you’re some trophy to be won when you’ve already got a goddamn ring on your finger. What’s crazier is that if you were anyone other than you, and Jake was anyone other than him, Jay very well may have already been in a full-blown affair with the wife of whatever neighbor he’d have.

And so, Jake watches, he studies. He knows you’re out back with your book, half naked, specifically because you find it funny that, for once, your husband is jealous.

“You’re taking it personally, he’s just being nice.” You told him months ago. “Jake, Jake. Look what Jay brought over!” You had squealed with glee just last week, presenting him with a cute little row of macaroons. “Don’t be silly, he doesn’t check me out.” You have said at least a million times, knowing full well it’s a lie.

Both of you are very aware of the way you defend him for the sake of possibility.

Well then, what’s this? Jake argues in his head, watching Jay practically turn his head like the fucking exorcist to get an eye full of you lying out under that tree. At this point, Jay isn’t allowed to be a third. 

Trying to get his wife to cheat on him?! Hell no. 

And the weeks go by with this idea in Jake’s head. Now, he wakes up at the crack of dawn and waits for the mail. Now, he comes home with extra groceries neither of you need. Now, he mows the lawn perfectly, quicker than Jay mows his. 

He isn’t going to win you over this way, ever. Maybe, if Jay didn’t have such an ego, this would have been a lot more fun. 

Except, Jay kind of does win. Jake mows the lawn, suddenly Jay is planting flowers and offering to plant some for you. Jake checks the mail? Jay gives you coupons from his own stash just in case. Jake comes home with more groceries? Jay just brings you home cooked meals now. 

You’re aware of what’s happening, it’s only a matter of time before you let this guy get some. Hell, even Jake knows it. He doesn’t like it, but he knows you do.

It’s the fact that Jake knows the types of men you’re into. If this guy wasn’t so cocky, always trying to one up him, maybe he’d have told you to run along next door and have some fun. But it’s war now. 

Full blown war.

Even when you giggle at his anger after weeks upon weeks of petty activities. Trying to calm him down and butter him up, all “C’mon babe, ill even moan louder for you.” and “You’re probably bigger anyway, imagine putting him in his place by fucking me.”

The idea is…nice by this point, after all, how else can Jake win? Because he knows how to fuck his wife, and he’s very, very good at it. Jake won’t be the one inviting him in though, no. Nor will you.

If anything, the idea of embarrassing Jay, making him think he’s won the war by getting you to sleep with him only to realize Jake has been waiting for it to happen? 

Now that– that would be hilarious. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

It takes the better part of six months for all of this turf war shit to come to a head. Jake almost laughs, watching Jay act like he’s in it for the long run. As if his wife hasn’t been giving him signals since he agreed to the little deal with you. 

“If we let Jay fuck you, you better tell him I’m better.” He had argued. Not at all hurt that you want to sleep with the guy, more hurt that it would demolish his ego to not be able to look Jay in the eye and show him how insignificant his role is. 

You nodded. And now, six months later with that fucking asshole next door constantly thinking he’s closing in on you, Jake senses the sin in the air. 

“Babe, it’s happening!” You had whisper-shouted quickly into the phone before hanging up.

Naturally, Jake was home in record speed, slamming through the front door and rushing to the bedroom. And there it is. Jay jumps back with wide eyes, cock hanging out of his pants as if he’s so guilty, as if this wasn’t his intention. You, smirking on the bed, completely nude, legs spread. 

Oh, you sure got his attention this time, and Jake eyes down both of you, trying so hard not to smile. 

“It’s not w-” Jay goes to explain himself, face going flushed and hair all fucked up as he stands awkwardly with his hands covering his cock.

Arguably, Jake kind of thinks he looks…well…he gets it. He’ll never admit it to you, nor to Jay, but he gets it. Jay  is pretty…he’s maybe even thicker than him too, and his body is toned and near pristine, oh…his mouth.

“It’s about fucking time.” Jake rolls his eyes more at himself than at the neighbor, already lifting his shirt off and flicking his eyes to you. “Was starting to think you really thought you could fuck my wife without me.” 

Jay is stunned at first, that’s kind of exactly what he was thinking. Yet– Oh, so the two of you are into this? He was starting to wonder why Jake never came over to kick his ass after consistently trying to get at you. Now he looks between you and your husband, eyes narrowed, smirk appearing. 

“Wait,” Jay says, ignoring the way you both can see his cock twitch with interest as he moves his hands away from whatever shame he was feigning. “You’re a fucking cuck? Honestly, I should have known.” 

So he still wants to be a cocky asshole about this?

“Oh, no. No, no.” Jake laughs, groping himself as he closes in on Jay. “You will be the one watching.” 

Jay rolls his eyes, nodding as if this is some sort of joke. 

“Right, right.” He nods, then looks at Jake, scanning his torso before arguing. 

“You don’t think it’s weird how wet she already is? I barely touched her–and you.” Jay glances down at Jake’s bulge now, watching how the man rubs against it. “You got hard looking at me, not her.”

Silence. 

Jay’s not embarrassed like he was supposed to be. Actually, he’s well aware that he’s right.

Jake stares at him, you stare at him, and he leans back, stretching his arms out before scratching the back of his head. 

“If I knew you both wanted me–” He breaks the silence, dropping his eyes to Jake’s bulge again, “maybe i’d have come for you first. Smooth out the friendship, then fuck your wife.” 

Why is Jake’s stomach bubbling?

And you. You’re just watching it unfold. Two very beautiful men standing in front of you, gripping their cocks, semi-arguing not just about fucking you, but….fucking each other? About who the cuck is when clearly, it’s you right now?

Oh, Jake’s gonna love him. You think he already does, actually, because you see the way his lip is quivering from here. He does that when he wants to pounce, when he wants to be kissed. You know him well enough, you see his interest, his attraction to the neighbor. All that petty competition turned him to mush within seconds of Jay not backing down. 

“Kiss him,” You mumble from the bed, tracing your fingers up and down your thigh. “Jakey, kiss him. He’s really good at it.”

The best part is, you expected Jake to be in one of his moods. When he’s aggressive, bruising with every touch and kiss, but this is…very unexpected. It’s the opposite actually. This is rare even for you to see your husband become docile, nearly submissive. To watch him act like this especially when you have a third in the room. He’s never given up his control when someone else is involved, unless of course, the third is a woman. 

The fact that it’s towards Jay is a bit more unexpected. They’ve been silently beating the shit out of each other through domestic acts for so long now, you can argue that Jay will probably hold this over his head forever if it continues. 

Toxic masculinity, all that. The competition between men can be very sexy on its own when it involves your body, but seeing your husband practically roll over and be vulnerable too? How lucky for both of you to have someone like Jay living just across the yard. 

You can see it in the neighbor’s eyes, someone who is not only willing to participate, but will participate, will take over, will not back down.

Jay’s won the war, but Jake doesn’t really care as much now that he’s seeing what you see in him. Hell, he didn’t even know the guy likes dudes, and the fact that he said he should have gone for him first? 

Jake is his type? 

Well, Jay is your type, and he’s your husband’s type, and you are their type. 

Isn’t this kind of…great?

“Yeah, kiss me.” Jay finally cuts into the silence, waiting for Jake to make his move, the one that will make him give in, the one that’ll essentially land him in the throne that reigns over both of you. 

How funny is it that Jake does lean in to kiss him? Jay watches, not at all closing his eyes despite watching Jake close his own. Probably to be passionate, probably to let his own desire take hold. Not quite yet though, Jay thinks. As he can feel Jake’s breath on his cheek, his eyes shoot to you and his hand shoots to the back of Jake’s hair. 

He pulls it, keeping eye contact with you as he now, pushes your husband down. He keeps Jake’s face close to his body, making sure he can feel his lips run all the way down, straight against his cock. He holds his head there for a moment, letting it twitch against Jake’s lips before he pushes him down further, sitting him on his knees. 

Doing that was strangely difficult though. He could tell Jake would’ve done it. Right here and now, leaving you, his own wife, neglected with her legs all spread out on the bed just to suck a cock? 

Thirsty. Both of you. Because don’t think for a second that Jay didn’t see how much you liked watching him do that either. Watching him control your husband. 

“Sit.” Jay says against Jake’s near-pout at the act of being dominated. “You’re going to sit there, and you’re going to watch.” 

Jake finally blinks up at him and the look kind of floors Jay a little bit by the time he finally lands his eyes back on him. Like, goddamn, he’s so, so fucking submissive looking when his eyes go all glassy like that. 

Arguably, Jay is already borderline lustfully obsessed with the idea of fucking you, but your husband? After meeting his glare for so long? There’s something so, so arousing watching him submit like this, all while you’re just lying there, smiling, loving it.

Jay holds back a short chuckle, catching his breath in his throat before he breaks his character even for a moment, showing how much he’s interested too. Gotta stay strong for now. 

“Understood?” He tilts his head instead, keeping that grip in Jake’s hair. 

Jake nods, now looking at you. Almost apologetically, but you smile at him with a short nod as well, spreading your legs even wider as Jay makes his way over. 

“Now,” Jay’s voice goes softer when he speaks to you, one palm landing on your inner thigh and the other against your cheek as he crawls over you. “Where were we?” 

Fuck, what a man. You nearly shiver at the touch alone, noting how he’s acting the exact same way as he was before Jake walked in. He’s not acting, he’s not putting on a show to try and one up your husband again, no. This is just…him. 

Maybe a bit rough around the edges, but he knows what he’s doing. He’s definitely gotten around, surely.

“Ah, right.” Jay mumbles with a smile, leaning down and letting his lips rest against your neck with a hot breath. “You wanted me to play with you for a little bit, didn’t you?” 

You nod again, feeling like if you speak right now, it’ll come out dry and raspy. You did want him to play with you, because if you didn’t ask for it, he may well have already been fucking you when Jake walked in. And that was against the rules. 

There had to be a way to hold Jay off. Especially because he was definitely rushing before. 

“When’s he coming home?” You recall him saying when he walked through your front door. Truly, he wouldn’t have walked in if you didn’t answer the door the way you did. 

Bra and panties, all done up like you were expecting him. He’s a little embarrassed at that though, because he instantly got hard at seeing you like that. Like it was specifically for him. He knew Jake was at work. Who else would it have been for?

He asked that without any indication of you actually seducing him though, it was all assumption. And he was right to assume because, well, he picked up your hints for months. Coming over for sugar wasn’t going to cut it anymore after seeing you open the door like that. You looked at him like that.

 He was going to fuck you this time. Months and months of distant flirting had nearly driven him insane by this point too. 

“He gets off work in about an hour but, let me use the bathroom first–” You had said in a hushed tone, full-on acting, role playing with a man who didn’t realize it was allowed. 

Then, you called your husband with the news as Jay was tearing his belt off on the other side of the bathroom door.

You also recall Jay demanding you take him to your bed when you had tried to go back to the living room. Probably to mark territory or something, and all you could do was comply. After all, your husband was already on his way and you could tell Jay knew he didn’t have a lot of time. He wanted to make it count, no matter how quick he had to be. After all, there was a look in his eye, one that made you feel like he knew it wouldn’t be the only time.

When Jake walked in, your neighbor already had his cock out, slapping it against your clit, grinding up against it, commenting on how pretty you are, how wet you’ve gotten for him, asking how much longer you’re going to make him wait, threatening to put it in and render you breathless– then the door opened, and now here you are. 

“Asked me to play with you, as if you weren’t the one playing games with me.” Jay whispers now, a little more aggressively. “No more rushing now, hm?” He adds, slapping his cock right against your clit again before pulling back. 

“In that case–” Down he goes, happy that he already pulled both that bra and the panties off of you before Jake even got home, nosing his way straight to your quivering pussy.

Before he lets you feel it though, he looks back, making sure Jake is watching, getting a full view of his half clothed ass before nodding. 

“Make yourself useful and get my pants off while I do this.” 

No eyes are on Jake as he does as he’s told. In fact, your eyes are rolling back and Jay’s are looking up at you, feeling Jake try and pull at his pants. His tongue, however, is already working wonders. Licking you up and licking you down, between each fold before sucking your clit in his mouth and making it all sensitive, throbbing. 

Jake does manage to get his pants off for him, and he stays in his place beside Jay now, waiting, watching. Occasionally his eyes glance down, seeing his neighbor’s heavy cock hang there, neglected, leaking little drops onto the bed. 

If Jake was smart about this, he probably wouldn’t be thinking about licking it up, yet here he is, surprising himself time and time again with this side of him. He really, really didn’t expect the situation to turn into this. If at all, he should be the one eating you out right now, he should be the one telling Jay to take off his pants. 

Jay should be the one thinking hard about licking cum up. He should be the one neglected. 

“Y’know,” Jay suddenly groans against you, voice vibrating your clit. “If she was mine, I wouldn’t share her.” He continues, going back in for another long and languid lick against your hole, waiting for you to moan, practically forcing one from your throat when he dips his tongue inside of you. 

And he continues that, closing his eyes this time and focusing on the taste, the feeling of what will soon be wrapped around his cock. It’s like heaven, kind of, having you like this while Jake just sits off to the side. He wonders what your husband must be thinking right now, if he’s into it or growing angry. 

 “Especially not with you.” He finally adds, leaning back from you and studying the mess he’s made so far before turning his head back to Jake. “Look at her, how could you just watch someone do this to her?” 

And, well, the look on Jake’s face kind of bruises his heart a little bit, softens him up. He’s still just blinking up at him, almost as if he’s waiting to be told he can come up from the floor, cock raging so hard in his pants. Jay shakes his head at himself before looking at you. 

“Then again, I probably wouldn’t share him either.” He says as he stands on his knees, presenting his cock to you, grabbing your hand and guiding it straight to him before addressing your husband again. “Come up here.”

Jake practically leaps onto the bed now, getting an eye full of how your hand barely wraps around the girth of this man, and he stares. And stares, and almost entirely forgets that he’s the husband in this situation, this is his room, his bed, and his wife. 

And Jay is his neighbor. His extremely, insufferable, sexy fucking neighbor. 

“Look at you.” Jay seethes as he fixes his posture tall and strong above you, lip tucked between his teeth briefly at the gentle grip you twist around the head of his cock. “Both of you.” He adds, now grabbing Jake by his hair again, this time pulling his face straight to his own.

“You still wanna kiss me?” He says now, Jake nodding instantly. 

You watch the way your husband leans in, almost moaning in relief when his lips meet Jay’s. It’s messy, extremely intimate to see up close like this. It turns you on somehow more to see Jake act the way you do when he’s left you neglected for a few minutes too long. Desperate, kind of argumentative with his pouting and moaning. 

Gripping Jay harder, you urge them on, watching their tongues reach the point of messy drooling, their chins wet, Jake probably tasting your pussy on Jay’s lips. And god, when Jay moans into it, probably due to the speed in which you’re now jerking him off, even you moan in response. 

There’s something about seeing him get into it, ignoring the fact that he’s appeared calm and collected this whole time. 

Yeah, he’s definitely getting into it. He grabs Jake’s hair harder, kisses him deeper when you circle your fist at the head of his cock, collecting the precum so you can slide back down to the base. And fuck, when you watch him now, reaching out, grabbing Jake through his pants? 

You whine, wanting more than just lying here watching.They’re so into it and you’re just…here witnessing it. You want them to kiss you too, you want them both on you, working you open, making you feel good too. But you’re briefly ignored in this moment as Jay starts rutting his hips, fucking your fist at a pace that makes it hard to jerk him off. 

And Jake…god, you knew you married him for a reason. Look at him, barely kissing back now, just slack jawed as Jay palms between his legs for him, licking into his mouth before moving down, kissing his neck, biting his shoulder. 

That’s it. You’re losing your damn mind right now, pulling your hand back and sitting yourself up on the bed. Jay doesn’t even flinch at the loss, and just kisses Jake harder to make up for it. 

 Your eyes stay glued to them as you now move yourself forward, poking and podding your husband first, who ignores you entirely because he’s, well, lost in it. Very into it. Still slack jawed, still reeling from finally being touched. 

You move your attention to Jay, poking and prodding him instead, and he pays attention. Grabbing your curious hand and pulling you roughly against him. You smile at the movement, understanding that he’s clearly still the one in control here, and whining for your husband may not be in the cards right at this moment. 

He’s just like you, you’re just like him. 

Just seconds later, you push back again, wanting to encourage more than this, wanting to see more, feel more. You start working Jake’s pants off and practically push Jay’s hand away from him, only now do they both pause, watching your hands pull out his cock. Still he moans at it, skin on skin, and you hold it there, looking up at him, glancing at Jay, then back down. 

“Stop leaving me out.” You mumble. 

Jake finally snaps out of it at that, lips feeling tingly as he watches you, guilt bubbling up that he lost it there for a second. Jay, on the other hand, is kind of reeling at how jealous the two of you get. Yet, still you’re both entirely into him as much as you are each other, it seems. 

It’s only natural that you’ll whine for Jake when he’s too busy kissing the man who is supposed to be on you right now, but no worries. None at all, Jay likes it. He understands. 

“Awh,” Jay coos, pushing his hips forward and bumping your hand with it, making sure the head of his cock meets Jake’s before continuing the act. Rutting again and again, messing your hand with the mix of precum and arousal. “Did he leave you out?” 

They both did, but something about the way Jay’s voice sounds when he asks, so soft yet still cocky. Charming, because even Jake nods at that before skewing his head to you, dragging his own hand down to hold it over yours before allowing Jay to slide his length into the tight space. 

You feel it when your husband leans in to kiss you now, as if he’s apologizing. Too worked up to say it, and can only act on his apology. Warm lips enveloping yours with a heated, near desperate kiss, then he starts immediately fucking up. You can feel it, the way their cocks meet and keep the mess of hands holding them together slick and wet for this. 

Jay is stuck watching this time, and he can’t decide on whether he should watch the way you manage to overpower Jake in the kiss, or the way you and your husband are both holding both cocks so tightly just so he can fuck up and against the under side of Jake’s. 

Jesus. All three of you have a bit of a pit in your stomach, especially when you manage to slip your hand out and allow Jake to control the mess in the middle as you, now, turn from Jake’s kiss with the intention of kissing Jay now.

Finally, you’re not left out, finally, there’s two cocks out in the open, rubbing against each other with a wet, pornographic sound.

“Oh, needy.” Jay comments when you kiss him just as harshly as you did Jake, you can feel his smirk on your lips but he quickly falls into the kiss too. And that’s when Jake absolutely loses it, finding you so pretty, both of you, so, so, so pretty like that when he’s feeling so good. 

And now, a small pause. You pull back for a breath and get a good look at both of them. Their attention is no longer on each other, it’s on you. Both pairs of eyes shining at you as they continue to jerk their weeping length off against one another, and suddenly, you’re shy. 

There’s a hunger in Jay’s eye, a need in Jake’s, and only now do you lay back again, spreading your legs open wide, and using your fingers to spread your pussy out the same way. 

“Jakey–” You call out to him, wiggling your hips and presenting it to him first, “look–”

Jay shivers when he looks first, seeing how much wetter you’ve become.

“Yeah, Jakey,” He echoes your words, grabbing him by the hair again since he seems to like that and guiding his face straight to your hole, “look at it.”

Being guided isn’t something Jake allows often, but he doesn’t mind so much now with his face being nuzzled into a cunt he knows so, so well by another man. Fuck, he barely was able to catch his breath before it was knocked out of him again. He licks out immediately anyway, and makes himself comfortable, hands and knees, lapping away like a happy little pup. 

Jay studies you closely when Jake does his thing, the way you lazily watch him, the way your chest rises and falls with deep, meaningful moans that shows he knows his way around your body, and he knows how to pleasure it. So, now he averts his eyes to Jake, his body, his waist, his ass.

He’s got so much to work with between the two of you. And so, he pushes Jake’s head into you further, roughly rubbing his nose into the mess, making you moan, and hoping he’s enjoying himself because he’s sure he might pull back when he–

Jake does pull back slightly, but that arch in his back doesn’t go unnoticed either. A saliva slicked finger pushes, circling his rim before pushing in. 

“Fuck–” Your husband groans with a shiver, his cheek against your clit, resting his head briefly there as if to prepare of the welcomed intrusion.

And it goes on like that for a bit longer than you had expected. All of this is happening in a way you weren’t expecting, actually. There’s a sense of control here, but it’s gentle, almost careful with intention. Somehow, Jay’s attention stays on Jake, maybe as a form of apology, or maybe to assert his dominance now that he, at the very least, has you where he wants you. 

Your eyes glisten at your neighbor, blinking at him as he pleasures both of you. He seems to be enjoying himself, looking back at you all while using Jake as an extension of himself, and of course, finger fucking him to the point Jake can’t stop rutting back against the pleasure.

Arguably, Jay may not know what exactly to do with all of holes willing to let him fuck them. But, also, none of you are short on time.

This can happen as many times as you want, hopefully. 

“Mhm, that’s right–” Jay groans now, nearly rolling his eyes at how tightly Jake’s ass hugs his single digit. He reaches around him now rather than guiding his head, holding his waist and leaning over him, aggressively fucking his finger in, finding his prostate in a near instant just to toy with it. 

“You ever heard him cry before?” Jay now averts his eyes to you with an amused tone. 

You shake your head, a mess at how fast Jake works his tongue on you through the pleasure, your hands now finding your way into his hair to rub his nose in it even more. 

“Ever see him cum untouched?” 

Another shake of your head. 

“No?” Jay smiles, tilting his fingers up, assaulting Jake’s prostate and within seconds, you note the way your husband starts writhing between your legs.

His tongue is sloppy, he’s moaning so loudly that he can barely catch his breath, and Jay immediately pulls his fingers out before aggressively lifting Jake up and away from you by his arms, letting you see the cum spurting out of him, sending tremors and shivers from his toes to the top of his head. 

“Oh–” You groan, squeezing your legs together at the image, watching Jake grow frustrated at his ruined orgasm despite the cum still dripping out of him. 

You’ve never seen him look so ruined, and the way Jay presents him to you so proudly kind of…well, he really did it. As if on command, making your husband both cum and cry. There’s clearly some things both of you could learn from Jay. 

“Now, stop neglecting her.” Jay’s tone comes out far more demanding now, ignoring the way Jake’s cock weeps with sensitivity now, once again guiding him, except this time, when Jake holds back as if to rest for a moment, Jay’s demands are directed at you. 

“Fuck him.” 

Well, who would say no to that? 

You take it upon yourself now to push your husband back, letting his head hang off the bed as Jay helps you lay him out, and instantly you sit. Grinding your bare, soaked pussy against his half-flaccid length. 

Jake does whine through it, shooting his hands up to you and not even knowing himself if he wants more, or if he needs you to slow down, or to stop entirely. His hands are frantic, breaths are uneven, his eyes going from wide open, to rolling back, to squeezing shut. 

He looks panicked, confused, stunned.

“Stop thinking,” Jay instructs him, whispering sweetly as he pulls himself off the bed to get a good look at the blood rushing to the top of Jake’s head as it hangs there. 

Your husband is kind of thankful, happy to be a bit mindless in this moment because suddenly, it does feel good, feeling someone so familiar sinking down on him all in one go. So wet, so warm, so his. It doesn’t seem so bad to let someone else think for him right now either.

He tries to lift his head to see you still, but he starts seeing lights, going a bit dizzy as you gently ride yourself on him. 

You are trying to adjust as he grows harder inside of you, stretching you open and giving you the fulfillment you’ve been needing since all of this started. You moan, trying to be compassionate about this, especially knowing he’s about to be toyed with even further, by both of you.

Jay nods at you with a smile, as if encouraging you to go faster, to take what you need from him. 

Then his eyes flick between both of you, cock in hand, he stands up slightly, aligning it perfectly with Jake’s lips. Poor guy is so dizzy he probably doesn’t even notice yet, but Jay communicates with you. That same cocky smirk, a raised right eyebrow, and a tilt of his head. 

He’s asking you for permission…to put it in?

“Yes, yes, yes.” You moan as you bounce and frantically nod your head, trying to regain breath at the sheer idea of it. “Baby,” You groan now, unsure if Jake can even hear you at this point. “Open your mouth.”

You can’t see his face, and god how you wish you could because of Jay’s reaction in particular. The way he taps his cock, pushing forward, probably sliding into his mouth now. It’s the way he holds both sides of Jake’s head when he does it, the way his eyes are laser focused, his abs flexing in silent pleasure, his slow release of a very faint moan.

Man, fuck, you’ve always wanted to see your husband suck someone off, but he never has. He’s only ever allowed it to happen to him, only ever made someone else suck him off.

“Oh, good boy,” Jay moans now at the feeling of Jake’s tongue frantically lapping, despite how crowded his mouth is becoming. And he throws his head back at the pleasure, now going to hold the bottom of Jake’s chin, tilting his head back further to angle the position, thrusting straight down his throat. “So, so good–”

Jay notes how he needs to just, like, shut the fuck up now. Even he, at this point, is losing it. This wasn’t something he actually thought Jake would let happen, yet…look at him. Fuck, look at you. Drinking up the image, eyes so dark and crazed that he’s using your husband like this–

That you’re both using Jake like this.

You’re bouncing, riding, chasing, staring off at him as if you’re some sort of feral animal happy to take what you can get Then, Jake, choking and gagging around him as he moans in pleasure at the same time, spit bubbling out at the sides of his mouth, dripping down and into his hair and he probably loses the ability to think at all if his hands are anything to go by.

Scratching at his own body, gripping the sheets, reaching out for something, for anyone to hold him through it.

All that blood split between his head and his cock…it’s so obvious, and you’re still chasing, getting enough but at the same time, knowing you can have more.

Something snaps in Jay as he watches you. He’s lot the plot a bit, taking a liking to Jake, seeing how far he can push the boundary just because he can, almost forgetting how fucking badly he’s wanted you. 

You. 

He hasn’t even fucked you yet, he seriously let Jake do it first? 

“Jesus,”  Jay groans out of frustration now, fucking into Jake’s throat one last time and holding it there as he stares forward at you. He ignores the choking sounds, the desperate searches for breath only because it feels, so, so fucking good.

 “Alright, alright.”

You’re a bit confused at the way Jay talks more to himself than at you or your husband, but you hear a sputter when he pulls back, walking to stand at the side of the bed and leaving Jake to deal with the aftermath of whatever lashing his throat just took in stride.

You pause your bouncing, watching him curiously.

“Scoot back a bit,” Jay says now, helping you scoot back, helping Jake get his head back on the bed so he can regain whatever humanity he has left in it. 

And then, Jay is positioning himself behind you, allowing you to essentially plant yourself back onto your husband before he’s forcing his own cock in alongside him. Without warning, without helping you stretch out more. 

You fall forward with a yelp, now just as breathless as Jake is when you hug against him tightly, burying your nose in his neck, feeling his heartbeat right against your lips there. 

“Jake,” You whisper as you desperately search for comfort, feeling Jay stretch you out. “Oh, fuck–”

Jake nods his head slightly, now willing to take whatever this guy is going to give to the two of you. After all, he’s taken the brunt of Jay’s attack by now, he’s sure you’ll love it as much as he does. So, he wraps his arms around you in a comforting way, essentially trapping you in place, whispering a short, breathless hum of, “feels so good baby, when you squeeze around us like that–”

That ignites you as you nuzzle further into your husband’s neck, unable to stop squeezing around them. It fucking hurts, it hurts so badly, but–

Fuck. Jake wants it. Jay wants it. 

You want it.

Jay watches the mess in front of him, the way you both writhe and cling as he makes room for himself, fucking roughly forward, sliding with intentional pushes to stretch you open just enough to fit all of him alongside Jake.

Seeing your cunt try and handle it, the way you grip, stretch, and instinctively try to push him out? It’s too much for you, but just right for all three of you, he thinks, as he makes eye contact with Jake and gets a drowsy nod. 

He watches the way Jake holds you tighter, forcing an arch too. Ugh, what a good man he is. 

“Yeah.” He moans, now picking up a rhythm as you both start moaning in near unison, “Hold her just like that for me.” 

And, well, you wanted to be fucked by them both but preferably not like this. At first anyway. You shock yourself when you call out, moaning so loudly it leaves a ringing in your ear. There’s rubbing up against something so sensitive inside of you, both cocks pulsing, stretching you beyond belief, and you…like it?

It feels good now. Too good.

Your moans come out as cries as Jay continues, and both men seem to be falling in love with the sound of it. So much so that, even Jake now ruts his hips up with a cheeky smile, encouraged by Jay’s praise to keep going, all so he can feel you squeeze, and squeeze, and try to push them out. 

And goddamn, does it feel good to have a cock rubbing against him in such a tight, wet little hole. Even Jay now starts whining with you.

Moaning, a mess, all fucking three of you. Finally, Jay has broken out of character, fucking forward fast, hard, near thoughless. It renders Jake unusable as he tenses up under you, holding you through it, babbling out filthy words of how full you must feel now that his cum is spilling out. 

“Feel that, baby?” He whines so quietly, and you do feel it. Arguably, so does Jay.  

You’re barely able to breathe through it, suddenly feeling fingers in your hair that pull you back. You can feel Jay’s chest breathing rigidly on your back, and now you both stare down at Jake.

He looks so lost in it, and yet still, Jay demands. 

Well, he pleads.

“Keep going,” Jay directs at Jake, well aware of his orgasm, slowing his hips to keep himself from cumming too,  and groping both of your tits to hold you in place. “Fuck up, faster, let me feel it.” He continues, now landing a sloppy, drooling bite against your shoulder. 

And you watch your husband, something igniting yet again in his eyes as he does just that, grabbing your hips and letting his hips rut up, freely. 

“Fuck yes,” Jay moans for him before biting against your neck now. “You gonna cum too?”

Okay, yeah, maybe Jay is trying to rush it now. He wants to be the last one to release, and if you don’t get there soon, he’s going to fucking embarrass himself. Thankfully, you nod frantically like a good little wife, dropping a hand down and simply pressing your clit before your legs start shaking. 

Both men feel it, the way you tense up, and they both put all of their energy into it. 

You hold your breath through the orgasm, never having felt so full like this. It just keeps coming, and coming until–oh. 

“Ahh–” Jake looks at you in surprise, lip now pulled between his teeth as he throws his head back again, dizzy, so fucking sensitive. His wife just fucking squirted. 

For the first time, you did it. After years and years of both of you trying to figure it out.

Jay doesn’t even know what to think about it, feeling you cum around him as Jake’s cock struggles to keep up through the pain, all around him and against him, the splash of wet pushing out against him, dripping down onto Jake. 

It’s so messy, so fucking dirty.

Holy fuck. He can’t, he can’t keep holding back.

You’re so sensitive when you fight through it, Jake even moreso, and Jay loves it as his hips demand an abusive pace. Pushing in, out, so deeply, so fucking hard inside of you, mixing around the mess of cum before–

The bruising grip on your hip tells you more than the twitching inside of you, and Jake practically starts crying in pain at the rawness of it all. Jay, shaking, releasing all of it with tight, jerking thrusts before finally, he slumps over you. Sandwiching you between both himself and your loving, exhausted, absolutely docile husband. 

Out of breath, out of fucking mind really, you don’t even move. 

You don’t clean up, hell, you don’t even open your eyes after that as you catch your breath between the tight mess of bodies.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

After that day, things kind of…changed. 

Jake is more needy. He’s still dominant for you when you need it, but it’s kind of a welcome change from time to time. Having him act all sweet and sloppy, as if he can no longer control it when the time is right and you’re looking particularly mean. 

Threesomes don’t take place quite as often these days though. With other people, anyway. As to be expected considering no one has ever actually participated quite like he did.

Jay has also become a bit more gentle too. Still openly getting his eyes on you every chance he gets, but Jake doesn’t mind near as much simply because he knows Jay checks him out too. The sexual tension is always felt between houses, and always satiated in one room or another. 

Once even on the back porch in the dead of the night, but still.

The time spent with Jay now is a lot less…um, erratic. Jay learns the two of you the same way you both learn him, and there have even been a few times since where Jake was the one toying with you both. 

Even a time where you were the one in control. 

It’s comfortable, fun, equal. To the point neither of you really look for a third anymore, after all, you’ve got the perfect match just across the yard, right?

Jay: hey jakey boy, come over, bring our wife

Jake waves his phone in front of your face. It’s been weeks since the last time the three of you played. In fact, Jay has been kind of flaky about it lately, responding too late to texts, or simply declining. 

Nevermind the fact that Jay always claims you as his wife too when things get, well, sexual. It’s not like he doesn’t do the same shit to Jake, calling him his husband, chuckling, being soft about it. It’s the fact that it had been weeks, both you and your husband were starting to feel a bit heartbroken about it, actually. 

And when two of you do go over, expecting lots of sex and even more questions about why Jay is being so weird lately, they’re hit with romance?  With dinner on the stove and candles on the fucking table? 

Jay wants in. 

Commitment.

Permanence. 

[minhaemin]

Enha glory hole type scenario where they all take turns on you but you have to guess which member is fucking you and if you get it wrong they’ll edge you until you get it right

“moan my name, sweetheart.”

the wall makes it hard to guess, and so does the size of the cock fucking into you.

“j-jake!” you whine out, doing your best to fuck yourself back on the cock splitting you open.

a stinging slap lands on your ass and makes you cry out. you whine when the thick cock slips out of you with a wet schlick sound. “wrong, again.”

your needy mewl turns into a moan when a longer, girthier cock enters you. large hands grab your ass and spread you open as they start to fuck their cock into you. immediately your eyes roll back, loving this rougher, needier pace.

“fuck. say my name, baby.”

you don’t want to guess because you don’t want the pleasure to end. it’s also hard to try and place the voice when all you can focus on is how good this big cock feels.

“h-hoonie?” you whimper as your toes curl in pleasure.

another harsh slap makes you yelp. once again, your cunt is left empty as the thick cock is yanked out of you.

“how disappointing. thought you’d recognize my cock by now, sweetheart.”

this has been going on for hours now, and the mean laughs on the other side of the wall make you wonder if the guys are cheating on purpose so they can keep using you all night.

[minhaemin]

CAN SOMEONE WRITE ABOUT THIS HOON PUTTING YOU IN A HEADLOCK AND FUCKING YOU TILL YOU CAN SEE THE GATES OF HEAVEN SHAKING CRYING AND DROOLING TILL YOU FORGET YOUR OWN FUCKING NAME TILL YOU CANNOT BREATHE ANYMORE AND ALL YOU HAVE IN YOUR HEAD IS HIM HIS BIG VEINY ARMS AND COCK PLSPLSPSLSPLSLS

I AM AT WORK PLEASE EHAVE MERCY ON ME I CANNOT ACT UP IN FRONT OF MY COWORKERS I WANNA JUMP HIS BONES SO BAD

yeah

[minhaemin]

DESIRE: UNLEASH, UNRAVEL, UNMASK, SJY

SYNOPSIS: When you are assigned as a psychiatric nurse in a quiet, unsettling and remote town, you expected lonesome, boredom even, and not the creeping sense that something was wrong. Then you are asked to temporarily monitor Sim Jake, a long term patient, when his regular nurse takes sudden leave. At first he's just another case for you, then you started noticing strange behaviors unfolding within the hospital walls, and now you're not just questioning your patient's mental state, you begin to question what's real, what's hidden and if you're turly safe.

• PAIRING: Sim Jaeyun x Psych nurse afab!reader

• WORD COUNT: 20k

• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, hospital settings, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, patient x nurse dynamics, forbidden romance core, mental illness (refer warnings section), suggestive, reader-insert, sorry attempt at writing a medical based au (I'm not a medical student so please forgive me), reader is always confused the tf out of her mind, not proofread.

• WARNINGS: MDNI, Antisocial Personality Disorder, violence, stalking, breaking in, paranoia, reader faints a couple of times, mentions of blood and injuries, mentions of restraints, mental breakdown, manipulation, coercion, fear of abandonment (not reader), kidnapping, borderline yandere behavior, violation of rules and personal boundries, aggressive and obsessive behavior, stealing, making out, dry humping, needy reader, let me know if I need to add any<3

• AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm really not sure about this one but I hope you guys will enjoy it. This is a work of fiction and whatever is happening is happening for the plot. In no way I am trying to depict how an actual psych hospital works in this fanfic, it's more of a vague setting to build up the plot. Your comments, reblogs and ask would mean so much to me. Thank you for giving so much love to my previous work, hope you will like this one too. Happy reading♡♡

You stepped outside of the train station, head held high, eyes hidden behind sunglasses that barely hung on your face. The strap of your backpack slipped off your shoulder ruining your nonchalant persona in the blink of an eye. Adjusting it back you stood right in the middle of the road searching for any sign of life, the town was so quiet you could even hear a pin drop. The street lights flickering on and off like they were sponsored by your bad decisions. You look around, trying to spot a ride to your new apartment. The place felt like it was straight out of Miley Cyrus's Party in the USA music video, but an emotionally constipated version. You swore you even saw a single dried leaf flowing along with the dust across the road from your peripheral vision. 

You leaned your weight on your right leg, hands on your hips as you took in your surroundings. It's understandable that it was evening but not even a single soul could be seen in your near vicinity. It wasn't even dark yet. The only human interaction you had after stepping foot on this worn-out town was with the maintenance worker who gave you a nasty side-eye when you crossed paths with him and the old man sitting inside the ticket counter who maintained eye contact with you till you were out of his sight. 

You grunt, making your way back inside the station to interrogate the ticket counter. He looked at you up and down through his frameless glasses, folding his hands comically slow before heaving a sigh. You tapped your foot in sheer annoyance, he decided to finally bless you with some words of wisdom and direct you towards a local diner located not too far from the station. You threw a tight smile at him, dramatically making a turn and off you went towards the diner.

The local diner's neon sign buzzed half heartedly, you nodded solemnly at its state, the poor thing looked like it gave up on life ages ago but was still showing up for work because of money. It almost reminded you of your nursing school days, where you would show up to school regularly just because you paid the tuition fee in advance. You ran your fingers through your hair, huffing a breath, at least you could hear human voices from inside. 

"Hello, is anyone there?" You did the best you could to bring out your practiced cheerful voice when you opened the diner's door, grinning like you're trying to sell toothpaste. The cashier, a middle aged bald man with a mustache, and a relatively younger boy, locked you in place with a deadpan face and eyes staring with premium disinterest. "Unfortunately, yes." You made your way inside, removing your sunglasses as you approached them. The smile wiping off your face faster than the wifi signal during zoom meetings. 

"Does this place have any cab or bus facility? The person at the ticket counter sent me here." You awkwardly tapped against the counter waiting for their reply. Both of them exchanged glances at each other before they focused right back on you. And, now, somehow you were second guessing ever agreeing to come in this ghost of a town. "You're new here?" Now it was your turn to fix them with a deadpan look, "Unfortunately, yes." The younger guy sighed at your words, making his way towards you. 

"You came here on purpose?" He raised his eyebrows at you, his eyes taking in the luggage beside you. You furrowed your eyebrows at his response, hands on your hips as you were left baffled by the sheer judgemental tone of his voice. "What's that supposed to mean?" The old man just shook his head and went behind the door, leaving you standing there alone with the boy. 

He shrugged in response, leaning against the counter. A small smirk appeared on his face, "No one really comes to this town, considering there's literally nothing to attract any entity. The town is small, location so far off no one gives a fuck about it." You just sighed, dragging your feet towards a chair and slouching against it. "What brought you here anyway?" 

You massaged your head a bit, perplexed at the situation you've gotten yourself into. Your mind drifting back towards the questionable choices you made before you ended up being assigned to be a psychiatric nurse located in a place you haven't even heard about. "I'm here to work as a nurse at Second chance psychiatric hospital." His eyes widened in surprise before a toothy smile graced at his lips. "Oh you'll be working with my friend Sunoo."

You gave him a tight look, clearly having zero idea about this Sunoo guy he was referring to. He ignored your obvious disinterest and sat on the chair beside you. "I'm Jungwon, I work here because I have nothing else to do. The guy I'm talking about is also a nurse at the hospital you're joining." That gained your interest as you turned towards him, "Help me go to my apartment, I've morning duty tomorrow." He beamed at you, nodding before making his way inside a room and coming back later with his apron off. "Let's go!"

"You're dropping me off?" He grabbed your luggage like it was made of thin air and made his way out of the diner. You just looked at him, not making a move to stop him cause honestly you were glad he was chivalrous enough to do that. You were as good as Macdonald's ice cream machine to even argue about moving your own luggage. You ran after him as he made his way towards his beat up car, your legs falling in rhythm with his as you told him your name. 

You reached the apartment the hospital's staff had given you information about. You made your arrangements and agreements with the owner a few weeks prior. For which you mentally gave a pat on your back because the apartment was pre-cleaned for you. You thanked Jungwon, he waved it off saying everyone knows everyone in his ghost town to help anyway, and made your way up the stairs to unlock the door. You punched in the code you'd set through your mobile app, kinda high-tech to have such security given the conditions of the town, you made your way inside the apartment. 

You set your luggage aside, deciding that unpacking was inevitably going to be a problem for tomorrow. You freshened up, throwing yourself on your bed as flashbacks for today's event slid through your mind like a scheduled Tumblr post. This town contained a type of quiet that felt like the universe had hit a forgotten password button, left isolated and on its own to function, except instead of bringing peace with the isolation, it just gave off a serious 'what's wrong with it' vibes. Basically this town was a kind of place where even the squirrels look like they are plotting world domination. 

Sleep comes easily when all you did the entire day was travel and struggle, rinse and repeat. Waking up on the other hand was a struggle you didn't realize you'd face on literally the first day of your job. You sat on the edge of the bed, eyes empty, motivation still buffering. It wasn't until your second alarm went off that you finally broke out of your daydreaming and got ready to go to the hospital. You know how much struggle you put up with your will to live every morning, so you know how to deal with that too.

You found yourself back to the same situation you were in when you stood in front of the local diner, now looking up to the rusting, 'Second Chance Psychiatric Hospital' sign barely hanging above the main entrance, threatening to fall but still somehow keeping it together. You pushed open the gate, the loudly squeaky noise of the metal gate raising goosebumps on your skin. You physically crumpled at the noise, gaining looks from a few of the staff and patients spread across the entrance of the hospital and its surrounding area. You meekly smiled at them as you continued making your way towards the hospital's door, their eyes hardly leaving yours. What's up with people of this town and the constant staredown competition they engage themselves into?

The exterior of the hospital was painted blue, almost fading, getting drowned by veils of climbers and creepers you don't want to learn about. The front yard was draped with dead leaves which had fallen on the ground like the hope you had when you were assigned to this hospital. You sighed heavily, decided to turn around and take in the state this hospital was in. It sure looked like a type of psychiatric hospital you'd hope to see in a horror movie. What were you going to tell your friends back home? Second chance? More like Secondhand misery on your part.

Stepping through the glass doors which barely sensed your presence (you had to give them a bit of manual labour) you were met with a waiting room which silently screamed at you to leave. Rusty chairs, mandatory fish tank with no fishes but a suspicious looking worn out castle inside it, few statues which had more cracks on their surface than you had on your phone screen. You made your way towards the reception area, not entirely surprised to find the receptionist having the time of her life in her sleep. You lightly banged on the surface of the counter to get her attention. She woke up agonizingly slow, looking like she had seen too much and was running purely on instant coffee and bad choices. She didn't even look surprised, yawning as she pulled out a form and slammed it against the counter in front of you. You looked at her, completely at loss. "I'm a new nurse here, not a patient." 

"Oh?" She gave you a wary look, eyebrows furrowed as if she'd heard something she shouldn't have. You rummaged through your bag, huffing slightly as you handed her your joining letter. Her eyes widened when she verified your details, sighing in resignation as she typed in something on her computer. You stood there, watching her fill out your details in the staff registry, expressions on her face changing like the slideshow of a presentation you made when you were in sixth grade. "I just need to understand," she started, giving you the joining letter back, she briefly made an eye contact and you nodded at her to continue, "what life crisis led to this?" 

"Should I be worried? Why does everyone keep on asking me this question?" You were starting to believe you hit the wrong subscribe button at this point. This town was sketchy, far off the map, with zero to limited amount of transportation, every single place in this town gave off vibes of bad decisions and pure paranoia combined. The receptionist waved your concern off, getting out of the reception area, sliding her hand around your shoulder and pushing you towards the staircase leading to the first floor. 

"The patients on the ground floor are usually handled by seasoned nurses, fresh meat like you are assigned on the first floor to deal with patients with reduced care demands who have less complex cases." She explained as she stopped you in front of a door, labeled Dr. Byeon Hyunwoo, knocked three times and left you in your misery. Your eyes followed her till she was out of your sight, not moving an inch, mind malfunctioning. It wasn't until you heard a very awkward and intended cough that you got out of whatever trance you were into. "Would you like to come in?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." You followed him in his personal office, the condition inside of it surprisingly much better than the entire hospital. He invited you to take a seat, smiling curtly you sat in front of him. He was clad in white coat which seemed to have seen quite a few things. The wrinkles on his face are a clear indication of his expertise. He smiled at you asking questions about your whereabouts since you arrived. You'd be working under him along with a few other attending physicians and nurses. You learned he's the director of the hospital, which immediately led you to straighten your back in response. Overall you were happy to finally interact with someone who was so humanly mediocre. 

Before you could open the office door a soft creak heard from outside the door halted your steps in place, followed by faintest movements of shadow flickering from the bottom gap of the door. You sighed, opening the door quicker than the lightening speed and watched three heads stumbled across the office. They bumped into each other like dominoes, frantically trying to find their footing. Then successfully stood right in front of you, awkward smiles plastered on their faces. You turned around to look at Dr. Byeon only to realize he wasn't even slightest bit interested in what was happening in his office, so begrudgingly you shut the door behind you.

 You took in the sight of them, the receptionist from earlier, another girl with short hair and then the taller guy who sheepishly smiled at you, his foxy eyes turning into crescent moon as soon as they met yours, then came the classic move, 'the awkward cough' as they looked at each other to telepathically discuss who'll be the first sacrifice. You could feel the 'we weren't trying to listen' vibes radiating off of them like wifi signals. Honestly, the entire moment of catching them eavesdropping on you and Dr. Byeon was awkwardly theatrical. 

"A little birdy told me we have a new nurse, we were too excited to wait," the guy smiled cheekily at you and despite your better judgement his energy brought a laugh out of you. Three of them exchanged looks before the guy grabbed your wrist and dragged you towards a cabin at the left side of Dr. Byeon's office. He informed the cabin on the right side is for the physicians. The cabin where you were dragged to was a bit larger than Dr. Byeon's, probably because it was for the use of multiple people. 

"Is the little birdy Ms. Receptionist?" You chuckled as you roamed around the cabin till you placed your belongings in an empty area. The guy religiously shook his head making his way towards you, extending his hand, "the little birdy is Yang Jungwon, my friend, he informed me a new nurse was joining." You shook his hand with a puzzled look on your face which then turned into a happy one when you recognized the name, "Jungwon? The diner guy?" The fox eyed guy threw his head back, laughing. "Yes, that one."

Your interaction was cut short when the short haired girl came from the other side and clung to your arm, "I'm Yerin, your fellow nurse. Then this guy, who didn't have a basic courtesy to introduce his name first is Kim Sunoo, also a nurse and the lady standing there is Jia, our receptionist." She smiled softly at you before letting go and dragging Jia where you and Sunoo were standing. "We knew you would be joining but we assumed just like many other staff you'll ghost us too, we really didn't expect you to show up." You nodded at Jia, understanding what was up with all the questionnaire and glances but her words left you with a plethora of questions. 

"Is the reason they ghost because of the very obvious suspicious location or is this place that horrific that no one wants to stay?" You all sat around each other, "and don't you have to go back to the reception area in case someone comes?" Jia just laughed at your question, waving you off yet again, she explained how the hospital rarely gets a new patient to be admitted so everything is chill. 

"Okay, now back to your earlier question," Sunoo looked at you with his big eyes as he clapped his hands to get your attention towards him, "honestly I think the main reason is the location itself, you get to learn many things, have hands on experiences and everything but it's a small town, nothing much to explore, plus this town gives a little bit of icky vibes so that adds to everything else." Little bit icky vibes? More like a movie setup for a budget horror film.

They gave you instructions about the working of the hospital, Jia bidding you goodbye to continue with her work at the reception, Yerin helped you with printing out your schedule, and Sunoo brought your uniform scrub and ID card. You changed into your scrub, and wore your ID card, smiling in the bathroom mirror to officially start your journey as the nurse. While talking with Sunoo and Yerin you learned that Jia has been working here for 7 years, Yerin for 2 years and Sunoo just joined 4 months ago. "Jia looks younger for someone who worked for 7 years," you wondered out loud, Sunoo nodded, "She was very young when she joined here, she was in need of money and the hospital needed someone desperate enough to do the job." You pondered over his words, he suggested giving you a quick and vague hospital tour before you ask any more questions.

The hospital's air smelled faintly like a mix of antiseptic, rubbing alcohol and existential crisis. You wondered if you'll become one of the patients of this sorry excuse of a hospital if it continues to give off these weird vibes even after working here for months. While you were walking down the hall of the first floor, somewhere a door squeaked dramatically, as if to assert its dominance and make its presence known. Sunoo just shook his head, laughing slightly and mumbling about how you'll get used to it. 

The walk through the first floor was easy, uneventful but insightful regardless. You'd be working on this floor for a good portion of your work, so you hung onto every word that left Sunoo's mouth. He suggested you shadow either him or Yerin for the first half of the day so you could get a hang of how everything works, and you were glad for his regards. He gave you a tour of the therapy room, which was further divided into group, individual, occupational, art/music and recreational units. You met a few patients of the general ward Sunoo was assigned for the day, realizing it will take some time for them to get comfortable with your presence. You didn't mind their rejection towards you, considering you chose this field by your own wish to help the socially marginalized individuals of the society.

He then led you towards the ground floor, the stairs creaking below your feet. Jia looked up from where she was sitting at the corner smiling, you gave her a wave with the same level of enthusiasm. One side of the ground floor was filled with medical and support facilities like; consultation rooms, medication rooms, emergency care rooms, and pharmacy. Behind the reception area had a lounge area, dining area, and bathrooms. Aside from the rusting chairs in the waiting area, you spotted a vending machine from the 90s functioning on duct tape and sheer will, and a wall clock permanently stuck at 03:33; well at least it shows correct time twice a day, truly an overachiever. 

The other side of the ground floor was what seemed to pull your gaze back at it, time and again. The large 'Intensive Care Psychiatric Unit' sign glaring at you in red, the hallway was dark even in broad daylight, shadows clung to the walls as you walked towards it. Sunoo stopped you from going further when you reached near the entrance of the patient's wards. "New nurses aren't allowed to enter this area, only the veteran nurses are allowed. You'll need to get your ID card updated with access to this area to enter."

Your eyes were trained on the hallway, the longer you looked at it, the heavier the air felt as if something was waiting for you to dare to indulge in it. You turned your head towards Sunoo, gulping slightly, "Are the patients that volatile?" Sunoo shrugged his eyes scanning the hallway which he never once entered in his 4 months of working here. "Maybe they are, I haven't seen any special case or event with my own eyes since I've worked here but I've heard stories." 

He gave you a tight smile before urging you to follow him to continue the rest of the touring, and as you nodded your head at him in agreement you felt something move, barely visible, a shadow. A nameless fear settled in your chest, sending sharp, cold ripple down your spine. You couldn't help but lean against the glass doors to find where the movement came from, but there wasn't a single soul in sight. You flinched when Sunoo called out your name, your steps retracting back towards the waiting area but your mind still hooked towards the ICPU.

Working for the hospital was much better than you had initially imagined, although severely understaffed, the environment of the hospital was thankfully healthy and supportive. Dr. Byeon, albeit strict and a man of few words, always guided you with patience, though sometimes it would wear thin. Patients were reluctant at opening up at first but once you gained their trust, you started enjoying your job more. The patients on the first floor were easier to manage at most, they maintained a sense of self awareness and would be cooperative with the treatment. So you never had to struggle too much while doing your job. 

So after several weeks of working in the hospital, and living in this ghost town there were few things which you had gathered. For instance, Dr. Byeon was not only the director but also the co-founder of the hospital, at this point if anyone told you he was also the mayor of this town you wouldn't be surprised. Some of the attending physicians here wore their egos on their sleeves for some reason. There were only two veteran nurses and both of them were assigned duties on the ground floor for ICPU, you found both of them very scary even when they showed nothing about kindness to you when you occasionally crossed paths with them. Patients here, to put in simple words, were here for a reason. 

The people of town were, you don't even know how to describe. Earlier when you walked on the uneven and cracked sidewalks, people would smile at you the way they do when you accidentally wave at someone who wasn't waving at you, awkward and suspicious. Even the cats looked at you with that, 'I know what you did last summer' stare. Now they are friendly enough to ask you for a tea and ask about your dating life before you even sit down. Everyone in the town knows about each other, their allergies, their nicknames and the story behind it. Secrets here longed as long as a cough. Still you loved how uneventful and slow it was, or maybe you're just getting Stockholm Syndrome with this town. 

"Mrs. Lee's son got into an accident, she left earlier in emergency," You along with Sunoo were huddled around Jia during your break time when you heard about Mrs. Lee, a veteran nurse assigned at ICPU. "Poor her, I've never seen her so worried before, he's her only son." You nodded at Sunoo's words, it wasn't like you could give your 2 cents into the conversation since you knew very little about everything. You wondered how Mrs. Hong was going to handle everything on her own, when Dr. Byeon called you inside his office.

Dr. Byeon opened his door before your fist could even touch it and made his way towards his chair, you peered at him up and down before shrugging and making yourself comfortable in front of his desk chair. He heaved a sigh, adjusting his glasses as he gave you a look that screamed 'help' but in a more professional manner. You smiled awkwardly at him fidgeting in your seat, the more the silence stretched the more difficult it became for you to maintain your commercial smile. "You must have an idea what happened with Mrs. Lee right?"

You reluctantly nodded your head and the way he looked at you made warning bells ring in your ears, "I'll get straight to the point. We are short on staff for ICPU, I was hoping you'd take the responsibility for the meantime." You let out a laugh which sounded like a broken tape record, high-pitched, off-key, powered entirely by denial and borderline fear. As usual, Dr. Byeon patiently waited for you to come down from your high with an expression which lacked all the seasoning and spices. You eventually stopped when you noticed he wasn't laughing with you, you put your head down on his desk. 

"What? You'll be taking over Mrs. Lee's duty?" Yerin screeched, you hushed her putting your hand on her mouth. Sunoo just stared at you, looking for more information. "Why would he appoint you though?" He wondered, "Yerin should've been his first choice, you're comparatively new." You glance at him, finally releasing Yerin from your hold, "He said first floor is mainly handled by her so she was out of the picture, and as for you," you jabbed your index finger on his chest till you backed him off against the nearest wall, "he said one time you were allocated to work in ICPU for few hours and you got so scared you turned that place to a disastrous zone in five minutes."

Sunoo gulped, avoiding your eyes like you were terms and conditions, "I...that place is shady! I couldn't help it. The patient who I was tending appeared out of nowhere and touched my feet. I jumped and dropped everything, the patient got triggered and grabbed my hair, then I screamed and Mrs. Lee had to clean up after my mess." You shook your head, slouching against your chair. Sure the ICPU gave off some serious 'don't fuck with me' vibes, but Mrs. Lee and Nurse Hong had survived years of working in that unit outstandingly. You could survive too if you only did what you were told and didn't cause much disturbance in the daily routine of the patient's admitted at that part of the hospital. Plus your legs could use some rest. 

When Nurse Hong, a sweet and soft spoken woman, gave you the temporary schedule, you did not expect to have constant rotations in your shift timings. She gave you head pats and a hug, smiling sympathetically at your baffled expression, "I heard a lot of good things about you from Dr. Byeon, I believe you can handle it well. Just be focused on your responsibilities and call for me when trouble arrives okay?" With the amount of softness her voice and eyes contained when she said those words, you'd have said yes to even rob a bank for her. But she was getting old, already had so much on her plate, you decided to be the strong independent woman you've already dreamt of being and handle your issues yourself. 

You had always watched the ICPU whenever you talked with Jia on her counter, or whenever you kicked the vending machine to get your energy drink. Your eyes followed that section wherever you were in the near vicinity. The section always called for your attention, maybe it felt that way because you were prohibited from entering that area. A forbidden apple, tempting you to take a bite with its bright red colour. Now you stood in front of the glassdoor which was once a barrier to your curious heart, sweat formed at the palm of your hands, you wiped it on your white coat and placed your ID card over the sensor. 

The sensor beeped, the sound sharp and unforgiving, it pierced through your ears. The glassdoor separated and you entered the area. Your hand unconsciously reached for your pen neatly tucked at your scrub's pocket as you forced yourself to take a step forward. The unit was unnaturally quiet, the air suffocating, not with the smell of medications or ethanol, but with the memories. The lights flickered on and off, casting a yellow light on the walls which were once white. The paint peeled off in strange patterns through the hallway. You made your way deeper into the unit, hands tight around the trolley you were moving with you. 

The hallway stretched like it had no end, doors lined up each side, differently numbered, all identical, all shut. The hallway carried an uncertain heaviness, like it remembered every scream, every breakdown, every cry for help. You could hear some muffled noise as you made your way further into the hallway, a laugh, a whisper and sometimes a scrape against the wall. Normally, sounds calmed you, grounded you but this time it only increased your heartbeat. Each little noise made you shiver. The wheels of the trolley screeched against the worn out tiles of the hospital as you moved forward, and suddenly silence wrapped around you. 

For a moment you had forgotten that you weren't alone, that everyone else could sense your presence too. Being confined into a box makes you overly sensitive towards any sort of noise, it didn't surprise you that everyone inside the rooms could detect the presence of a new person with the sound of your footsteps alone. You moved ahead till you reached the far end of the hallway, room no. 015 glaring back at you. You've heard about the infamous room no. 015 in passing before, something along the lines of too violent, too hysteric, too cruel. You recalled Sunoo telling you something about the patient's history, an outcast, admitted to the hospital by his family who then left the town and never returned. 

You gulped, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door to let your presence be known, then sliding in the key. Your eyes studied the room, it was pale, off-white, no decorations. The bed sat at one corner of the room, sheets crisp with practice precision, a single pillow, and a blanket. A chair and fixed desk were placed on the adjacent corner of the bed. A built in light fixture high on the ceiling, out of reach even if one stood on the chair. You made your way towards the window that was covered by off white curtains. You wondered why would there be a window without grill for a patient who was admitted at ICPU. You moved the curtain aside, you could see the security guard's cabin from up here, well you guessed there's no way the patient would try to run without getting noticed. 

The slow creaking of the door behind you followed by sudden movements startled you as you turned around, wide-eyed, hands on your chest. You took a deep breath, carefully watching the stranger who stood opposite of you, coming out of the bathroom, steps halted midway, eyes mimicking that of yours. He analyzed your appearance, white coat, boring scrubs, trolley inside the room, hospital's ID card hanging from your neck. His eyes met yours, and you gulped, unconsciously clutching the notepad in your hand, a corner of his lips twitched. "I'm here for your routine check up, is that okay with you?" 

The slight tremor at the end of the sentence didn't go unnoticed by him. He studied you for a few seconds before he wordlessly made his way towards the bed and sat on it. You dragged the chair towards his bed, sitting on it promptly as you studied his medical record. 

▪︎ Name: Sim Jake

▪︎ Gender: Male

▪︎ Date of Admission: November 16, 2018

▪︎ Diagnosis: Antisocial Personality Disorder

▪︎ Assigned Psychiatrist: Dr. Byeon Hyunwoo

▪︎ Assigned Nurse: Mrs. Lee Siyun

▪︎ Mood/Behavior: Patient appeared withdrawn and agitated

▪︎ Appetite: Normal

▪︎ Interactions: None

▪︎ Agitated/Aggression: High

▪︎ Nurse comments: 1. Patient has shown a recurrent pattern of agitation. 2. Cooperative during check ups though slightly sensitive and annoyed. 3. Extreme shifts in moods.

"How are you feeling?" He clicked his tongue in irritation, leaning back against the bed, "Mrs. Lee?" You looked up, his voice hoarse and rough due to lack of use, full of exhaustion. His eyes were dull, yet sharp as they peered at you. His face was framed by soft, dark hair, a bit messy but it gave him a boyish look. He had a well-defined jawline. He was handsome in a way that made your breath catch without even realizing. You shook your head, keeping your thoughts in check before you looked down at your notes, "she's on leave," you muttered checking the previous notes. 

"Irritated." Your eyes shot up as he spoke, his jaw tight and eyebrows furrowed. Your eyebrows knit slightly in confusion before they relaxed realizing he answered your initial question, you noted it. You cleared your throat, "what kind of thoughts are occupying your head today?" He scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest, "nothing important." You sighed at his vague answer wondering if he's the same with Mrs. Lee.

"How do you feel about being here?" You questioned, writing down his previous answer. He scoffed watching you write down what he said word to word, "not thrilled." You sucked in a breath, you have to remain calm for patient's sake, this wasn't even worse but somehow you'd have preferred him lashing out a whole monologue than the single word answers he threw at you. You took out your stethoscope, placing one end of it in your ears, "I'm going to touch you, is that okay?" 

He moved a bit closer, "hurry and leave." You rolled your eyes, your hand slipping beneath his shirt, your fingers were steady, practiced as they pressed gently against his chest. You felt his breath hitched before you could detect it through the stethoscope. "Breathe in, hold it." Surprisingly he did what was said, your ears filled with the irregular thump-thump rhythm of his chest. "Breathe out, slowly." Your hand shifted slightly, inspecting another spot. There was no rush, no distraction in your movements as you continued monitoring his heart beat. "Your heartbeat is slightly irregular. Try taking a deep breath slowly a couple of times so it slows down a bit." 

The rest of the routine check up went by smoothly, he didn't answer any of your questions verbally, but was cooperative for most part. He showed annoyance but wasn't aggressive. You noted everything, gave him his prescribed medicines, checked his vitals again after taking the medicines, made sure he didn't have any injuries or health concerns and the routine check up for room no. 015 was completed successfully. 

A deep breath escaped your chest as soon as the door closed behind you, relief flooded your body like sunshine through a cracked window. Your eyes flickered towards the wrist watch on your hand, lunch time. You informed Nurse Hong about your schedule and made your way out of the ICPU towards the cafeteria after her approval. You spotted Sunoo, Yerin and Jia sitting at the far corner of the cafeteria. "Hey!" Their eyes shot up in your direction, you waved at them before making yourself comfortable beside Jia. "Wow, you look like you could use some chapstick, your lips are drier than your text when you're ignoring me." Your hands immediately reached out to touch your lips, "ah, it's because I kept on biting on it while I was doing my routine check up." You thanked Sunoo when he passed you the chapstick. 

"So," Yerin leaned towards you, her expression serious but you could see the underlined lightheartedness behind her doe eyes, "Tell us brave soul, what was it like in the land of darkness?" Sunoo and Jia nodded, huddling around you, "I heard you were assigned the infamous room no. 015." You nodded, leaning back against the chair, digging your food, lost in thoughts but continued, "It was okay, it wasn't as scary as we have heard in the stories, perhaps not scary at all," you studied their confused expression, "he was a bit annoyed, reserved for most part, but he complied. Unlike all the stories we've been hearing from the past."

"Is that true? I was half wondering if I should prepare a strecher for you." Jia smacked Sunoo arms as she hushed him, Yerin turned towards you, "maybe the stories are dramatized and exaggerated in order to keep everyone in check, so that no one would go in the ICPU area, kind of like to protect the patients and not disturb them?" You shrugged looking towards Jia who shook her head at Yerin's words, "I've seen a handful of instances myself where extra security had to be called because he was getting out of control. I've seen Dr. Byeon running inside ICPU frantically to room no. 015, those instances can't be staged." 

You solemnly nodded at her words, you couldn't decide how anyone was with only one single interaction with them, but then again, the man in front of you in room no. 015 was far off from someone you imagined a person with ASPD would behave like when you did your case studies. "How does he look? Is he scary?" Yerin asked, her eyes wide as she looked at you. "He doesn't look scary, just exhausted." You mumbled quietly as your mind wandered back to his eyes, the soft puppy-like eyes, though the sparkle in them was dulled but you were sure they must've looked the prettiest when they sparkled. Jia looked at you lost in your thoughts before deciding to answer Yerin's question, "he's not handsome, he's ethereal, would've 10/10 hit on him if he wasn't a psycho." 

Sunoo and Yerin gasped, gaining a look of annoyance from people surrounding the area you were occupying, you apologetically smiled at them. Sunoo sighed, dramatically face palming himself, "Why are the hottest people always the biggest red flag?" Everyone else shrugged, continuing to eat in silence for the rest of the lunch time. Maybe there was something more to the picture than it seems, you'd heard from Nurse Hong that Jake was aggressive, he was manipulative, that before getting admitted here he was notorious for breaking rules and creating havoc. Your mind juggled between those words and what you saw in room no. 015, maybe you were judging the book too fast, maybe all you were doing was judging a book by its cover. 

The rest of the week went by the same, though Jake's irritation turned into mild annoyance as he got accustomed to your presence. Nurse Hong explained to you about your duties in the second half of your lunch time which you would be spending on providing mental health assessment and therapeutic counselling towards the patients she entrusted you with. You were thankful she was mindful enough to not overwhelm you with each patient of ICPU, cause you swore they were there for a very good reason, and you had a very long way to go before you could handle them like Mrs. Lee and Nurse Hong did.

"You're smiling weirdly," Sunoo eyed you from where you were gathering your notepad and stethoscope while simultaneously wearing your coat. "What do you mean?" You shot him a side-eye that could curdle the milk. Sunoo shrugged, still eyeing you with suspicion laced in his eyes, scrutinizing you, "you seem way too excited for someone who's working an early shift on Monday morning, it's because of Jake right?" Your eyes widened as his words sank in, you threw a crumpled paper in his direction, he dodged it, "It's nothing like that! Don't make up things. I've to go. I'm getting late for my rounds. Bye!" You didn't give Sunoo another chance to speak as you bolted out of the cabin and into the ICPU. Sunoo shook his head, clearly enjoying your denial about your growing attachment towards Jake. He could detect the shift in your energy from miles away whenever Jake was mentioned and he wondered if you'd ever realize it and if you did what would be your next step.

"Good morning." You greeted Nurse Hong who smiled at you softly greeting you back as she continued her routine. There was a faint skip in your steps which you didn't realize. Even though you were denying looking forward to being back in ICPU, you couldn't help but agree with the fact that you were looking forward to seeing Jake. You were starting to believe in your abilities in handling complex cases like the patients from ICPU, especially Jake. Over the course of a week you noticed the little changes that happened in his behavior, his shoulders were less stressed, he didn't cross his arms over his chest tightly and did not isolate himself whenever you were present with him. By the end of the week he had started answering your questions without rejection. The answers were still a bit vague but they were better than the single worded answer he gave you initially. He even laughed at something you said once, which was very brief and he instantly denied doing that, but you were happy he was opening up to you anyway. 

As you were making your way down the hallway your steps halted when the lights lining up the hallway started flickering followed by a loud thunderstorm and then silence. You gulped, the smile wiping off your face at the dull atmosphere that suddenly surrounded you. You stood in the middle, eyes trained towards the door at the end of the hallway. Hushed voices could be heard from the rooms near you, patients getting anxious due to sudden power failure. You heaved a sigh of relief when the hospital's tired and true companion of a thousand years, the generator, finally started working, lightening up the hallway again. You made your way towards room no. 015.

As usual you knocked on the door before sliding in the key, your heart still racing slightly. The thunderstorm had quiet down a bit, but it had started raining heavily creating loud echoes of rain hitting any possible surface. You hesitated for a moment, hand wrapped around the doorknob, you took in a few deep breaths and pushed the door open. You entered the room, the curtains drawn back, and raindrops from the open window splattered against your face. You closed your eyes, not anticipating the unexpected intrusion. You looked around the room, everything was the same as you remembered. You closed the window to stop the rain from entering inside the room but decided to keep the curtains drawn. 

The sudden movement of the door behind you caught your attention, you flinched, not because you didn't anticipate it but because of the sheer amount of force applied for the door to be yanked open. You turned around, hands still on the window, as you watched Jake eyeing you up and down. His clothes were disheveled, his shirt crumpled, two of his top buttons were open, showing a bit of his collarbone. His hair was messier, like he had been pulling them for sometime. His chest heaved heavy breaths, his lips chapped. 

Everything about him was different from the Jake you met last week but what startled you most was his eyes. They were cold and sharp, an unfocused gleam beneath the eyelids. He looked at you, eyes staring into yours like he wanted to look at your soul. There was almost a magnetic charm in his looks, something you hadn't seen before. "Jake?" You called softly when he made no attempts at moving from his place, his eyebrows furrowed as he tilted his head at you. "I'm here for your routine check up, is that okay with you?" He closed the bathroom door behind him, slowly, step by step making his way towards you. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" 

"Ye-yes! How about you sit on your bed while I do my routine?" He stood a couple feet away from you, hands inside his pockets, resting his weight lazily on one leg. His eyes were relaxed now, pupils slightly dilated, he bit his lower lip as if he was in deep thought. "Bed feels like a good option," a lazy smirk graced his lips as he moved closer to you. You took a hesitant step back, then again, till your back hit the window. His steps never flattered, he walked with an ease you never thought he had, he stopped when he was mere inches away from you. Sweat formed on your palms, your fingers automatically digging inside your scrub's pocket to curl around the pen in panic. His hand rose, steady and purposeful, as he wiped a few of the raindrops from one side of your face, slow and careful, like he was afraid you would break if he was harsh. 

Your breath hitched, eyes falling shut for a moment. He scanned your face, smoothing your hair behind your ear, he stepped back till he reached his bed. "Aren't you going to check up on me pretty?" Your eyes shot open, he sat on the bed, hands behind his head as he smiled at you. You studied him for a moment, he was way more relaxed at chatty than he normally was. Normally Jake never talked with you more than necessary, and was pretty much closed off. But the Jake now in front of you was much more talkative, laid back even, his eyes carried a glint you couldn't pinpoint. You made your way towards him, deciding to sit with him on his bed instead. You did your routine, asked him various questions and he gave you the answers with practiced ease. You checked his vitals and everything was normal. No irregular heartbeats, breathing regular and unlabored. 

You knew something was off, he wasn't behaving like he normally did. Still, somehow, the reports were abnormally normal. You noted everything, and he watched you like a hawk all throughout with a lopsided smile. You gave him his medicine, checked his vitals again, everything was normal, yet there was a voice deep in your mind which told you that no, this wasn't normal. But hospitals never worked on gut feelings and instincts, they needed observations which you had but it suggested a completely different conclusion. You sighed, packing up the things and making sure there weren't any potentially harmful things left behind. 

As the medication took effect, Jake laid down ready to drift off to sleep, one of his hands hanging down the bed. You made your way towards him, pulling a blanket over as you watched him before putting his hand under the blanket. That's when you noticed, faint purplish marks encircling his wrist, you inspected his other hand which bore similar bruises. You knew those scars very well, the unmistakable imprint of being restrained by chains. You got out of the room, locking it behind you as you made your way out of the ICPU. You don't recall Nurse Hong informing you anything about restraining Jake with chains, surely if he did have an episode, you'd have been informed prior. The fact only confused you more.

You spotted Nurse Hong talking with Dr. Byeon at far corner of the waiting area, their faces contoured and voices hushed as they discussed something. You stood near the staircase, scanning the notes in your hands, there was something you were missing surely but couldn't point out. You greeted Dr. Byeon when he passed by you and stopped Nurse Hong to have a chat, "the patient from room no. 015, Jake Sim, has he been restrained before?" She looked at you nodding her head, "yes, why? He did try to hurt you?" You shook your head no, informing her about the marks you saw on his wrists. "When he becomes violent, he breaks everything in this close vicinity so it's necessary to apply physical restraints as a precaution."

You thanked her for taking her time to answer you amidst her busy schedule. She smiled, patting your shoulder in comfort, "It's great that you think about your patient's health this much, though Jake has been assigned to Mrs. Lee, I've monitored him too, I'm sure Mrs. Lee knows much more about him than any of us will ever do." You smiled at her words, and she bid you goodbye to take care of other things. So the stories about him being physically violent were true, but the Jake you met on your first week of working at ICPU didn't exhibit any violent tendencies. That was weird because he wasn't violent when he first met you, just cautious. Maybe he just didn't want to get restrained yet again. Moreover, he always had his hands crossed over his chest, so maybe you just never noticed the marks around his wrists. 

The rest of the week went by with the same level of unease you felt on Monday, you initially thought it was because you were meeting Jake after a long time but clearly you were wrong. Every Time you went to monitor him, he had this smile, beautiful yet cunning plastered on his face which would make your skin crawl instead of raising goosebumps in flattery. He was very open to have any sort of conversation with you, often going off the topic and more into you. He was charming, his eyes gleaming as he teased you during monitoring. He was behaving so far off from the Jake you met first, and that made you rethink about everything you'd learned about him. You still noted as much as you could, maybe a discussion with Dr. Byeon would do. But it wasn't easy to do, due to the hospital being understaffed, he was pretty much busy all the time to come and sit with you and discuss it. 

You sighed, the pen in your hand clicked in a rhythm only your thoughts could follow, as your mind reflected on the interaction you had with him earlier today, "you look cute when you're nervous." That's what he said as you were auscultating him, you looked up, your fingers twitching around the cold disc you had placed on his chest. His heartbeat was unbearably steady, even as he spoke and watched you with those intense eyes of his. One of his bruised covered hands tugged the stethoscope down your neck, his other firmly wrapping around your hand which was on his chest. You gulped, sitting up straight. You couldn't pull yourself away, it was like he had cast some unspoken spell over you. He laughed at your bewildered expression, hands releasing you from its hold. 

You stood up, heart beating loudly while grabbing the medication and handing it to him. His touch sends shivers down your spine. You watched him take the medicines, your eyes focused on his wrist, he gave you a wink as he settled back on his bed. You packed your things ready to go out of the room and away from him when he called out your name. You pushed the trolley out the room as you made your way back towards him. He leaned lazily against his elbow, a smirk forming on his plush lips, his eyes were drowsy and unfocused but they were still undeniably focused on you, "your left eyebrow twitches when you get nervous, and there's something so honest about you getting nervous, it's kind of beautiful. Don't hide your nervousness from me, I like it when you're unsure and a little shaky." 

"What an odd thing to say, Jake." You deadpanned as you turned towards the door to leave. His laugh anchored you mid-step, turning back you saw his head thrown back before his eyes once again locked with yours, his hair fell haphazardly on his forehead due to his abrupt movements, face turned completely cold, his eyes losing their focus as the time passed, the medications kicking in. "I believe you're forgetting something, pretty." His hand rose till it was eye level, fingers curled around a pen as he casually twirled it, the corners of his lips twitching slowly as he eyed you. 

You tapped your hands over your scrub's pocket unconsciously recalling your pen to be the exact same model, your movements getting frantic as you couldn't feel your pen. Your hands dived inside your scrub's and coat's pocket, trying to locate your pen, eyes widening in realization that during the course of your routine with him, he had somehow managed to steal your pen away without you noticing. You rushed towards his bed and snatched your pen from his hands, "taking what doesn't belong to you without the owner's permission can lead you to serious repercussions both by the hospital board and law. I'm warning you right now before you engage in more trouble Jake." He laid back on the bed, a lazily smile hung upon his lips as you warned him about his actions, he just shrugged after you were done explaining, a light teasing tone in his voice when he said, "I like watching you lose control, it makes me feel good to know I'm getting under your skin."

"You're going to murder that pen." You were pulled back from your thoughts by Sunoo's voice, the clicking of pen halting, you threw the pen in your coat's pocket as you made your way towards him. "I think I'm losing my mind Sunoo," you whined as your steps fell in rhythm with his. "Honestly that's shocking, I thought I'd hear this on your first day of working in ICPU not the second week," you pushed him a little, your thoughts jumping back and forth between your and Jake's interaction. You weren't sure how your future interactions with Jake would unfold but you hoped it wouldn't be anything worse than it already was, "I can't wait to go home and get some well deserved sleep."

Your apartment wasn't too far away from the hospital and you preferred walking so you could have time to mull over things. The sidewalks were cracked, a little bit uneven in their placements, as you walked over it. Evenings in this town would always be your roman empire, the town was beautiful and welcoming in the mornings but turned solemn and hostile as darkness consumed it. Some of the street lights flickered while others gave up on their life long ago. You sighed as you spotted your apartment building, grunting as you made your way up towards your floor. You stood still in front of your door, struggling to breathe, maybe you should start daily workouts soon. 

Your hand shot up to enter the password when you felt a heavy, invisible weight on your shoulder. The air around you suddenly thickened. You turned around, eyes and ears alert as you scanned the area surrounding your apartment, yet there was nothing.  Blaming it on your exhaustion from work, you punched in the code and welcomed yourself inside your apartment nonetheless. You hung your jacket and removed your shoes, dragging your feet towards the kitchen to drink some water. You made your way inside your bedroom, placing your backpack inside the closet, you grabbed a tshirt and shorts and made your way inside your bathroom to take a shower. 

You sighed a breath of relief as the warm water hit your skin, your hands massaging your shoulders as you whined in pain. All of the tension melted as you lost yourself into the feeling of warm water running down your skin. You squeezed some amount of shower gel on your palms, gently lathering it on your body. You rinsed it off, turning the water off as you stepped outside of the shower area. You wrapped a towel around yourself and grabbed another to dry yourself off. The bathroom mirror turned foggy, steam clinging onto the glass due to the heat of the shower. You lift your hand to swipe across it, the reflection of your face clearly visible now. You smiled tiredly at your reflection, you could see the weight of the everyday exhaustion in your eyes. You shook your head, deciding to continue your nightly skincare routine and changed into your comfort clothes. 

You made yourself comfortable on your bed, eyes staring at your ceiling as your mind drifted off towards Jake again. You shut your eyes close, turning on your side trying your best to think about something, anything other than the person occupying room no. 015. You would be lying if you said he didn't occupy most of your thoughts even after you left work, in fact he has been a constant part of your mind ever since you first interacted with him. There was no doubt he was insanely handsome, and somewhere deep down you knew Sunoo was right about your growing interest towards him. 

He was already consuming your thoughts when you first interacted with him, but even in his cynical form you couldn't help but let your mind wander back towards him. When you first met him, he was stoic, reserved but he was endearing. He was soft in a way it tugged at your heart. But now, with his constant flirting, advances and even his tucked up self was making your heart race unbelievably fast. You were about to lose your mind after working in the hospital but not in the way you initially thought you would. Whatever thoughts and interest you had towards a patient you were tending to, wasn't very professional of you. Your eyes shot open in denial, no, you had to stop whatever that was growing inside your heart. You couldn't possibly get romantically involved with one of your patients, let alone a psych patient at that.

Monday rolled around quicker than you imagined, your mind still hazy from the weekend's leisure. You stood outside the hospital's main gate, the security guard giving you a small smile before resuming his duty, you made your way towards the hospital. Jia greeted you as soon as she saw you from the glass door, you quickly pulled her into a hug. "Thank god I can see your spark back, last week it was almost as if someone had suck your soul out." You laughed at her words but didn't disagree. You mind was still fresh with memories of last week but weekend soothed your head like a balm. You were sure being back at the hospital would probably make you stressed for another week to come but you knew this is exactly what was waiting for you when you decided to become a psych nurse anyway. 

In a well-worn pattern, you checked in with each patient that was assigned to you for the week, like a clockwork, you knocked on the door of room no. 015 before unlocking it. This time, Jake was sitting on the desk chair, blanket wrapped around him. He looked at you when he heard his name slip past your lips. A soft, barely there, smile graced his lips, "routine check up? Is this place fine or would you like me to move to my bed?" For a moment you just stood in your place, looking at him with curious gaze, he mimicked your expressions when you didn't answer him. "Are you okay?" You questioned as you made your way towards him, his head tilted up when you moved close to where he was sitting, his puppy-like eyes staring back at you. 

"I'm okay!" He nodded, eyes drifting away under your scrutinizing gaze. He sat crossed legged on the chair, covered fully by the blanket, his hair was messy but it reminded you more of the Jake you met on your first week. His eyes were soft around the edges even though they carried a guarded look. What proved to be more unexpected to you was how closed off he was, he neither tried to invade your personal space nor he threw any flirty remarks at you, just casual conversation. 

You made your way towards his bed, sitting on the edge of it, as you asked him some questions. He moved so his chair was now facing towards you, answers sliding off his tongue like honey on warm bread. You noted his answers, studied his body language, observed the room for anything remotely suspicious, "Can you remove the blanket so I can monitor your vitals?" He nodded wordlessly, opening his arms but not removing the blanket completely. You gave him a look but didn't press further as you checked his heartbeat, irregular thump-thump rang in your ears. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, what was even happening? "I think I'm catching a cold, that's the reason I have draped the blanket over me." You nodded at his words, administering him his medication and bid him goodbye. You locked the door behind you, slowly making your way out of the ICPU for your lunch but your mind was, yet again, left inside room no. 015. He showed very distinct shifts in his behavior every week, you don't remember any of the physicians or nurses notes providing any insight on this very specific observation of yours. Or maybe you were just overthinking it, patients do tend to show shifts in mood. 

You fell into the familiar routine, yet again, for the rest of the week. Jake had been down with a cold but got better with medications as days passed. He was covered in a blanket most of the time, even when he was inside the bathroom. You made fun of him for looking like a goofball and the way he pouted at you made your heart skip a beat or two. You liked this version of Jake, reserved but amiable, you didn't feel intimidated by him like you did last week. He didn't bluntly flirt with you, maintained a safe distance and didn't do anything which would make you work up. Still you couldn't forget how distinctly different he behaved as weeks passed by.

You pushed your trolley inside Jake's room, it was friday, your last routine check up for the week. He smiled at you from where he was seated on his bed. "How's Mrs. Lee's son?" You were surprised he initiated the conversation, he hadn't done that at all this week, yet you smiled at him, "he's recovering well but since Mrs. Lee is his only family, she needs to be with him till he recovers well enough to function on his own." He thoughtfully nodded at your words, you made your way towards him and sat on the edge of the bed. "How about we skip all the formalities today and speak with each other like friends? How does that sound?" 

His gaze lingered on you as he thought about your question, "okay...." You smiled, holding your notepad in your hands regardless, "how's your cold now?" You asked, playing with the clip of the clipboard. "It's gone, I'm feeling much better now. I don't think I'll need this blanket as my 24/7 support system now." You laughed along with him as you asked him a few more casual questions to keep the flow of the conversation. He answered each of your questions diligently. "Okay a few more questions and then we can end this session with monitoring your vitals and administering medications okay?" 

He nodded at your words and you continued, "can you tell me how are you feeling now as compared to last week?" You noticed Jake's breath hitching before he mumbled, "I wasn't in my best state, my mind was clouded. I don't remember most of it." You took note of the slight tremor at the end of the sentence. "You aren't planning on stealing anything now right?" His eyes widened as if he heard the sentence for the first time, "stealing? No, like I said I wasn't in my best state." You laughed softly, reminding him that you don't mind if he's regretting what he did. "You were quite chatty last week, I would say bold, to put it more clearly and you even touched me a decent amount of times, do you remember any of that happening?" You could see the sweat forming on his face, he shifted a bit, avoiding your eyes, "I don't remember it, I'm sorry. But I don't want this session to continue, can you please proceed further?" 

You sighed but accepted his wish nonetheless. His comfort was your priority over anything, you didn't want him to feel agitated and lose control. You checked his vitals, his heartbeat haywire, at this point eveb Jake knew how obvious he was being, his nervousness as clear as day. But you didn't press, he didn't question why you didn't. You asked him to sit up straight so you could give him medicines. He did as you ask, his movements making the blanket pool at his waist. Your hands froze mid-air, your eyes trained on Jake when he lifted his hand to grab the medicines from your hand, a flicker of confusion crossed your face before shock sat in like ice on a cold morning. 

You put the water bottle and medicines back on the trolley, your feet working before your mind did. You took both of his hands in yours, were you shocked? Bewildered? Confused? Borderline creeped out? You weren't sure. Words spilled out of your lips before you could stop them, Jake's eyes widened as he pulled away from your hold, sliding back towards the wall, "answer me Jake? What is happening?" You could see the panic on his face, the way his eyes shook, the way his hands trembled as you kept asking questions after questions. You should've stopped when Jake asked you to as he covered his ears, but you didn't. 

You were sure you were losing your mind, if you kept working on Jake's case you'd probably end up as one of the patients of this hospital too. There was not a single thing which made sense in your mind, you were spiraling more than Jake. Your breaths came out laboured but you didn't move, you wanted, no needed answers and Jake was the only person who could give them to you. "Jake answer me, I'm here to help you, if you'll hide things from me how am I going to help you out?" Your words only fueled the fire in the wrong direction and before you could comprehend Jake hand was wrapped around your throat as he pushed you against the wall. 

Your eyes widened, your hands wrapping around his wrist to free yourself, he didn't apply pressure, didn't even hold it tightly but his hold was firm, "don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong." You gasped, pushing him away with one hand and he let you. His hold loosened as he stepped back. Your hand instinctively made its way up your neck, you slumped against the wall, frozen by the shock of it all. Your eyes met Jake's glassy one, his face was stoic but the way his lips trembled ever so lightly, the way he was clenching his fists to stop the trembling of his hands, and the way his chest heaved heavy breaths, they told a different story. 

A single tear escaped his eye, and in a violent motion he slammed his hands against the trolley, the metal clattering across the floor. You hissed when a sharp object cut through your skin, albeit not that deep. The sound loud enough to be heard from outside. Still you were perched upon the floor, eyes locked with his. He clicked his tongue, "stay away from me." That was the last thing you heard before the room was forced open by the security guards, taking in the condition of the room and you, they immediately pulled Jake away from you. He did nothing to stop them, his eyes never leaving you even as Nurse Hong gently supported you and helped you out of the room. 

Dr. Byeon and a few attending physicians ran past you and into room no. 015 and you didn't want to imagine what was going to happen in that room. You were still in disbelief, your mind couldn't wrap around anything that happened inside the room. One minute you were laughing with each other and the next minute he was throwing things at you purposefully. The last thing you remembered before exhaustion took over your body was what triggered this whole ordeal in the first place, the faint lines of restraints which caught your eyes last week were now spotless, almost unnaturally so.

When you opened your eyes, you were greeted by Sunoo, he handed you an energy drink while sipping his coffee. He didn't ask you questions, didn't even acknowledge the situation that brought you to the hospital bed with an IV drip inserted in you and you were grateful to him. After a while Dr. Byeon made his way towards you, "how are you feeling?" You tried to sit up but he waved you off before continuing, "I'm sorry you had to experience that, I should've sent someone with better experience than you to handle him, even though the injuries you got aren't life threatening I'll give you next week off so that you can heal properly, okay?" You nodded your head and he made his way back towards his office. Honestly, whatever happened was terrifying and you definitely need a week-long leave to get your head straight but you were determined to find out everything you could about Jake Sim after your return, that was for sure.

"It's still Wednesday but I miss you so much!" You pouted hearing Sunoo whine from the other end, walking towards your apartment after going out to a local diner to have some coffee. Sunoo has been in contact with you daily since last friday, never letting you feel alone. You were glad to have a friend like him in an unknown town. He visited you every weekend, sometimes alone and sometimes Jungwon would tag along with you both. You avoided talking about the incident with both of them but the town was small and you knew Jungwon would be well aware of everything. None of them broke your little bubble, your wounds were fresh at that time. Still you were glad that Sunoo called you daily after his shifts ended to know about your whereabouts. Yerin and Jia did too, but their schedules were more packed than Sunoo's. 

"I'll be back in no time," You smiled, "don't rush yourself, if you feel like you're not ready Dr. Byeon said he can extend your leave." You were glad everyone was being supportive but if you're in a profession which handles mental health patients, cases like this would continue to happen and you can't forever hide from them. You ended the call with Sunoo when you reached your apartment building, making your way up the stairs. The wind howled in the hallway of the apartment building, rattling the railings and windows which were left open. You felt relieved that you reached your apartment before the weather got tricky. You welcomed yourself in your apartment, removing your shoes and hanging your jacket you made your way towards the living room.

You stared at the store-bought snacks you never picked up from the coffee table while you were binge watching movies earlier when the loud bang of your bedroom window being slammed open caught your attention. You hurriedly made your way towards your bedroom, it had started raining heavily, grimacing, you struggled to tame the wildly flying curtains and shut the window close. You roughly wiped the droplets of water from your face, looking down to see your clothes being soaked. You made your way towards your bathroom for a quick shower. 

The thunderstorm continued even after you were done with your shower, along with the heavy rain, frequent lightning, and loud claps of thunder. You made your way towards your window, water streamed down the glass, the sky dark with grayish hues. Suddenly the thunder cracked again, loud and close, you flinched hard backtracking your steps, hands pressed hard against your ears. The lights went off and then turned back on with the thunder, and then after a moment everything stilled. You relaxed in yourself, taking a few deep breaths to calm the erracting beating of your heart. Everything was quite quiet, too quiet, your stomach churned with unease or maybe just hunger, you weren't sure. You could hear your own breath clear in your ear and in that momentary silence you heard it, a soft crunch. 

Your eyebrows furrowed as you stayed glued to your place, maybe you were hearing things, then another soft crunch. You gulped, slowly inching towards the noise, the lights went off again, you looked side by side, eyes scanning the darkness, something felt weird. A chill rushes down your spine and the uncanny pressure of being watched makes you sweat. Then from the shadows of your bedroom door, a low voice, calm and amused, speaks, "Come on, pretty...don't take all night to react. I've been waiting for you here for a while now." A loud gasp escapes your lips, the voice too familiar, too close. You turn towards the voice, steps backtracking slowly. The light flickered once, dimly, casting shadows on your face, then it came fully.

"Jake?" You whispered as you stepped backward, heart beating loudly. You couldn't even bring yourself to speak any louder. Your left eyebrow twitching as you spoke, "who- how the fuck did you enter my house?" He laughed throwing his head back as he started closing the distance you were creating between you two. His eyes dark, sickening smirk engraved on his lips mocking your defense, "you aren't much careful when you punch in your code, not your fault, I'm just very good at what I do, pretty." He pouted enjoying watching you panic. 

You gulped watching him inch closer, and closer. Your mind was everywhere and nowhere at once. Your thoughts trailed over your apartment's main door before your eyes did and without wasting another second you dashed towards the door, barefoot, hastily rotating the door knob. Jake's steps were rushed but not hurried as he approached you, the door opened and you made a run towards the stairs, repeating 'don't look back just run forward' as a mantra. It was late in the evening, no one normally roamed outside at this hour, and fresh smell of rain was still lingering in the atmosphere, it almost impossible for someone to be out, but maybe, just maybe you could find someone for help. 

You jumped down from the last three stairs, wincing when your foot landed on a sharp rock, you looked side by side, and desperately banged the door of the old man who lived on the ground floor, you ran towards the street, searching for a presence when the door didn't open. Your thoughts wandered towards how he would've left the hospital in the first place, they would've surely sensed his absence by now, maybe they are on the way. You sighed in relief when you saw a person walking down not too far away from you, "Hey! Please help me!!" You yelled, running and waving your hand frantically in the air as if it would somehow gain their attention. 

The person's footsteps halted in the middle of the walk, he took one of his headphones out and turned back to see if he was hallucinating someone calling out in the middle of night. He shrugged when he found the whole street empty, putting back his headphones on as he made his way towards his home. 

Your back stung as the wall scraped against it, tears streaming down your face as you watched Jake apply more pressure on your mouth to make you quiet. You winced when your head made contact with the grainy wall due to his movements. He strained his neck to look for anyone, sighing in relief as he managed to get a hold of you before anyone could see you. He held both of your hands behind your back with one hand and pressed another one on your mouth. Your vision was blurry, blood oozing out of the foot that got injured, your hand ached with the banging of the door, your throat itchy and horse with all the yelling. 

Jake's breaths were shallow and quick, he turned his head towards yours, "no one's here to help you pretty, this place is mine, I know how this town works." You twisted your hands, trying to break free which only resulted in his hand wrapping more tightly around yours. His other hand glided from your mouth to your throat in a quick motion. The tight grip making it hard to even say a single word. You gasped for air, his eyebrows furrowed and pupils dilated. His eyes were sharp, gaze strong enough to lock you in your place. His body was pressed tightly against yours so you won't move your legs. He leaned down enough to graze his lips on your ear as he whispered, "be a good girl and walk back to your apartment with me, don't try to be smart, I won't hesitate to hurt you, pretty."

You sucked in air like you were drowning, like you'd been underwater for hours, his grip lifted but its memory stayed in your throat, bruising each of your breaths with fear. "I can be harsher than that," he huffed as he brought your hands in front, pulled out a strip of white plastic with a ridged surface, one swift pull and it tightened around your wrists like a noose. He wrapped your mouth with his handkerchief and picked you up bridal style, "thought I wouldn't be prepared?" You closed your eyes bracing for whatever that was going to happen with you. Your head rolled back in exhaustion, your vision blurring on the edges of your eyes as you slipped into darkness, and he just pulled you closer so your head would fall on his shoulders. 

Jake watched your face as he made his way back to your apartment, then let his eyes scan the street as if it personally offended him. He chuckled at himself, he thought you would fight more than you did. You looked pretty sleeping in his arms and he could almost imagine his future with this image. He stopped near your apartment, leaning against the apartment wall, he pulled off the handkerchief from your mouth. He made his way upstairs, deliberately checking if anyone woke up from all of the commotion. He knew the old man living on the ground floor took sleeping medication at night, he had made sure of that while he kept his eye on you from past 3 days. He didn't like doing things without being sure of everything. He loved destroying things with plan. 

He entered your apartment, made his way towards your bedroom and laid you against the headboard. He searched for your phone, keeping it in his pocket he moved back into the living room. He pushed the loveseat of your couch towards the entrance, huffing, as he straightened his back and finally secured it against the main door, now even if you were to run, you would struggle a bit till he caught up to you. He walked back towards you with a glass of water and put it on the night stand. He searched for a first aid kit in your bathroom, then in your nightstand, making his way towards your leg. He cleaned up your wound and bandaged it. The wound wasnt deep, you could still walk better. He pulled out your desk chair when he was done and sat as he waited for you to wake up. 

You opened your eyes, neck sore from the weird position, you wince a bit. "Thought you would directly wake up tomorrow..." your eyes snap towards Jake smiling at you from where he was sitting, a half eaten apple lying on the desk behind him. Everything that had happened in the last few hours crashed down on you as if someone had thrown icy water at you in the middle of the winter. He made his way towards you, plopping himself beside your trembling form, he raised his hand to brush your hair out of your face, eyes gleaming in satisfaction as you coiled into yourself. He wiped the tears that escaped your eyes, his other hand guiding the glass of water to your lips. His finger dragged through your hair and harshly tugged at it, your head tilting upwards as he helped you drink the water. 

"Why are you doing this? All I wanted was to help you," your voice was almost inaudible if Jake wasn't sitting so close to you, he chuckled, shaking his head at your words. "Help me?" A crease formed between his eyebrows as he tilted his head, you broke eye contact, staring at your lap as you fiddled with your fingers. His hand made their way towards your bounded ones, his thumb brushing around your wrist where the zip tie was irritating your skin. Your eyes landed on his wrist then on your own, noticing the similarities, only his had faded lightly. His hand cupped your jaw, locking your head in place so you won't have any other choice but to look at him, "is that what you said to me when you came to check up on me last friday?" 

"Why? You don't remember what you did?" You retorted, eyes sharp as you looked at him. A flicker of recognition crossed his mind and he laughed, the sound coming straight from the bottom of his heart. You looked at him like he grew some extra heads on his shoulders. "Can't believe this..." he muttered under his breath but you heard it, his eyes locked in yours, the smile never fading off his lips, "you're very likable pretty, wish we could've met under different circumstances." 

"Why are you doing this? I never did anything to hurt you! How did you ever escape the hospital? You realize that they will find you wherever you go, right?....you won't escape this, you won't get away with this." Your lips trembled as you spoke, voice cracking, as you tried to compose yourself in front of him. "No one will find out about me, not even the hospital." You shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. He cupped your jaw, his eyes his intense but soft around the edges as he wiped the tears, his lips brushed your forehead and he pulled you in his embrace. 

"Go back to the hospital, don't do this to yourself, I know you don't mean harm, please, I just want to help you." You pulled away trying to coerce him into believing that you're on his side. He looked at you then back at the zip tie, he broke it with the help of scissors and threw them back inside the drawers. "I want to be with you, not the hospital." You shook your head, placing both of your hands on his cheeks, "get better for me? We can live happily after..." his eyes snapped towards you, letting your words skin down in him, "you wanna do so?" You nodded your head, thinking of the ways you could turn this around, "I do. I really like you Jake," he sighed as he leaned his head on your forehead, "we can run away, we don't have to go back to that hell-hole." His words muffled as he kissed your cheeks, your eyes closing on instinct. He continued to shower your face in kisses, your heartbeat erratic as you let him be. 

He pulled away, his eyes scanning your face as if he wanted to commit your face in his memory. You sighed shifting your hands on his wrists as he cradled your face, "Jake, you can sleep here today but tomorrow we will go back to the hospital and I'll help you get better, believe me? Hm?" He looked at you, and for a minute you thought you almost had him where you wanted. He closed the distance between you, your lips parting in surprise. He waited until you reciprocated and he deepened the kiss. His one hand travelled back to hold your nape and bring your body closer, your hands found your way towards his hair. He groaned as he moved your body till you were lying on your back. His kisses soft as compared to how roughly he held you. 

His hands travelled down your body, squeezing and grabbing as they travelled across your body, you moaned into the kiss. Your body reacted heavily towards his actions, back arching off the bed as you melted into his. You were hot, breath ragged as he lips travelled down your throat, harshly sucking and biting on your skin, inevitably leaving marks. Your eyes were focused on your ceiling fan, your mind haywire with everything. Your wrist was still stinging because of the zip tie. You gasped when his teeth grazed a sensitive spot behind your ear. 

Your eyebrows furrowed as you let him hold you, there was something wrong. You had dreamt of this moment ever since your eyes landed on Jake, it didn't feel it same as it did in your dreams. But that was the difference, between dream and reality, reality always slaps you in your face. After a while he pulled back, kissing your lips once before hiding his face at the crook of your neck. You closed your eyes and ran your fingers down his back to help him sleep. You don't remember how long you waited, but you did, till Jake turned in his sleep and you were free from his hold. 

Your foot still burned because of the injury, you sat up slightly to find it already being patched up. Your eyes landed on Jake who was peacefully sleeping beside you, mouth agape as he snored lightly. You couldn't locate your phone, groaning slightly as he may have hidden it. You slipped out of your bed, half limping, half tiptoeing across the room, turning every 2 seconds to see if he was awake. You slowly closed the bedroom door behind you and locked it from outside, wincing when the lock made an obnoxiously loud sound. You made your way towards the door to see it blocked by the loveseat, you tried your best to move it enough to get out of the apartment. 

You were almost done, a little more, and you'll be able to open the door. You sighed, pulling on the loveseat one last time when you heard a loud bang against your bedroom door. "You're gonna regret doing this, I will make sure!" You turned around flinching hard at his voice, chest heaving but thankful that the bedroom door was closed. You pulled the loveseat, opening the door as wore your shoes hastily and ran out. Your foot was paining but it was now or never, you couldn't risk getting caught by him this time around. 

Halfway through you weren't even sure where your steps were taking you, it was late at night, the local diner was closed hours ago. You decided hospital would be your safe space. You ran and ran and ran until your legs gave out. You looked back to check if he was coming but there wasn't anyone in sight. You pushed yourself to run towards the hospital, the rows of houses and shops fading away as the hospital was situated at the end of the town. You were scared, the road was slippery because of the rain, your feet led you towards where the hospital was located as if it was a muscle memory, you turned to look back every minute in case you needed to hide.

Your legs buckled and you lost your balance when your injured foot landed on rock again. You closed your eyes to brace yourself from the impact but a strong pair of arms caught you before you could land face first on the slipper road. You could feel your heart in your throat, every ounce of energy leaving your body. The hospital was close, close. The hands holding you up helped you in stabilizing yourself, your hands grabbing theirs to ground yourself, for a second you froze, a flicker of hope burning at the back of your mind, but then you looked up, "you alright?" And saw *him*. The world seemed to tilt as your throat closed, the arms which held you now felt like a trap. 

"No...let me go!" You yelled, eyes wide, voice cracking. Your body reacts before your mind could, you shoved him, hard, with all of the power left in you. He stumbled back, his eyes wide in shock as he found his footing back on the ground. Desperation surged through your body like electricity, you were just afraid you were functioning on your pure need to survive. You staggered back, hitting your heart with your hand to somehow make it less frantic. Tears welled in your eyes, but they didn't dare to fall. 'This place is mine, I know how this town works' his words from earlier echoed in your mind, your lips quivered, there was no escaping him. 

"Why are you doing this to me? All I ever wanted was to help people like you, leave me alone, I beg you, please." You fell on your knees as you sobbed knowing well that he had been a part of this town longer than you had, he knew this town, you were stupid enough to think that you tricked him. You felt him kneel in front of you but he didn't touch you. "What are you saying?" You glared at him as much as you could with your slight blurry vision, you grabbed the collar of his shirt as you choked on your words, "I hate you." Your fingers released his shirt in exhaustion and he immediately pulled you towards him, and held you close, his breaths heavy. He didn't speak much, just rubbed your back and let you cry your heart out right in the middle of the road. 

"Hate me all you want, but I need to know the reason behind it," his voice was laced with pain as he pulled away from you, his hands on your shoulder as he watched you wipe your tears. You took a sharp breath and he held his thumbs rubbing slow circles on your shoulder. His touch was soft, as if he wasn't the reason your life was a havoc. Your eyes met his, and he urged you to continue, your mouth opened, mind filled with thousands of questions yet you weren't sure how to start. Did he get episodes like this where he completely forgets what he did before? He was looking at you like it is physically hurting him to see you like this. 

His eyes wandered towards the road behind you when he caught a movement, eyes widening in realization as he looked at you, now alert, before moving back towards the road, "can you walk?" His question caught you off guard but you shook your head no, the pain in your leg was unbearable. He frantically got up, crouching down to pick you up bridal style as he started walking in the opposite direction from where you were coming. "Trust me please, I'm not going to hurt you." His voice was almost begging you to cooperate, you tried to look over his shoulder but he turned around a corner just in time. "Where are you taking me?" 

"To the hospital, or at least somewhere safe." Somewhere safe? He wants to go back to the hospital? You almost ask him what he meant by that when a voice cut through the air, "going somewhere?" Jake's steps halted in their place, he put you down carefully and stood in front of you as if shielding you. "It's none of your concern," Jake gritted off his teeth, his hand holding yours firmly. You looked over his shoulder, limping slightly as you stood beside him. Your breath caught mid-inhale, confusion cracked through you like lightning, your vision blurred, not from tears, but from your exhausted mind who couldn't differentiate hallucination from reality. 

Your world split into two, there he stood, the man in front of you, who had the same height, same face, same eyes that haunted you. Your thoughts tangled with the mix of terror, confusion and disbelief. Same face, different souls? Your body screamed to run, but your feet won't move, your mind swirling with different possibilities. Was this a trick? Or the truth? What if they were together in this, playing with you from the start? Everything clicked together like missing pieces of puzzle as your eyes moved from the man standing in front of you to the man standing beside you. Your eyes landed on the hand that was wrapped around yours, fresh bruises adorning his wrist reminding you of it had been the one holding you who attacked you last week.

"Why are you out of the hospital?" The man in front of you said, gaining your attention, your head started hurting at this point. "Why are YOU out of the hospital? You were supposed to be inside this week!" Jake, who stood beside you hissed, the other man just laughed sarcastically, his eyes growing narrow before they landed on you, "I just missed her, was thinking why she didn't show up," You hid behind Jake as the man in front of you stepped a bit forward, the grip on your wrist tightened slightly, firmer hold, "leave her out of this, Jake! Why are you playing with her?" 

"Can't you see Jaeyun? I like her!" Though there was a visible facade of hurt on Jake's face, you could clearly see the fury behind his eyes threatening to overtake any minute. "Like her enough that you were going to abandon your own brother?" The hand that was holding you made its way towards your cheek, he leaned forward to whisper, "I'm so sorry you got dragged into this, I should have protected you better." You could see how hurt he was, the slight tremble of his lips, the hesitation when he touched you, the slight glossiness of his eyes, the shallow breaths. These twins, Jake and Jaeyun, were so alike yet completely different from one another.

Suddenly Jaeyun was pulled backwards by his hair, his feet scrambled beneath him, thrown off balance by the push. Your hands instinctively reached forward to grip him but a sudden, tight and strong grip on your throat held you in place. You screamed in pain, accidently putting your weight on your injured leg due to the sheer pressure of his actions. "You're supposed to be mine, mine to hold, mine to keep....you understand?" Your nails scratched his forearm, "I-I can't b-breathe." You could almost see whites behind your eyes due to the force he was exerting on your neck, and you heard Jaeyun before you could even see him throw a punch on Jake's face, "I warned you to leave her out of this didn't I?" Your hand found its way towards your neck as you coughed and Jake stumbled back.

"Did you just-? Did you just hit me?" Jake looked at his twin, baffled by his actions. Between both of them Jaeyun had always been the tamed one, the one who was shy, quiet, reserved and soft in a way everyone liked him whereas Jake was the bratty one, the one who was confident, loud, reckless and harsh in a way he always called for trouble. He remembers constantly being compared to his twin who was much better than him in everything, yet Jaeyun was kind enough to always see the good in him and forever stand by his side. Jaeyun never abandoned Jake, not when the school expelled him for constantly breaking the rules, destroying school's property and harming few students and a teacher in a fit of rage, not when he broke the neighbors front door when they were out because they complained to their parents about loud noises when he played games at midnight, not when his parents contemplated about sending him to psychiatric hospital when he got diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder. 

He remembers his mother crying day and night over his actions, and his father consoling her. Jaeyun was by his side through everything, he made sure his brother knew that he had someone by his side. Their parents stopped him from going out all together so he won't hurt anyone, and despite Jake becoming an outcast Jaeyun was the only person keeping him grounded. He remembers Jaeyun fighting with their parents to stop them from sending him to a psychiatric hospital, and how shocked he was to find Jaeyun knocking on his window one fateful night after months of being in no contact with any of his family members. Jaeyun believed all Jake wanted was to be treated like a normal person, he couldn't imagine his brother confined into a single room for heaven knows how long. Their parents abandoned him so Jaeyun abandoned them in retaliation. 

That's how it all started, Jaeyun would switch with Jake in the hospital for a week so Jake could live like a normal person. It was a point in Jake's life when he realized his brother would do anything for him, and he couldn't be more thankful to have him by his side. But Jake has always been selfish, and he knew Jaeyun's soft heart would never really understand how twisted he really was. Jaeyun was the only person who Jake trusted with all his heart. Jaeyun never really questioned him whenever he went a little too far with his actions. That was a new normal for them, Jaeyun sacrificed his own freedom and let Jake have half of it. 

Jaeyun was the first brother you met, and like a clockwork, he acted indifferent towards you like he did with everyone, but he couldn't help his heartbeat around you, couldn't help how drawn he was to you. And Jake knew Jaeyun like the back of his hand, he notices every little change, so he noticed the changes in Jaeyun's behavior too. Jake found you interesting when he first saw you, so unguarded, so serene, he couldn't help but want to taint your calm. It gave him an adrenaline whenever he watched you get flustered, nervous, a mess in front of him. It made him feel something after years of feeling nothing. 

Then the following weeks came, when he started noticing more about your and Jaeyun's bond, he watched it all, through the bathroom's crooked door space. That's the place they always switched their presence without anyone noticing for years, the worn-out, rusty ventilation window of the bathroom, big enough to climb and pass through. The security guard was always asleep during night time anyway, and both of the brothers were precise in their actions, years of sneaking in and out making them more sleath. Jaeyun knew his twin all the same, he could sense something was going on in his head when Jake started being more chirpy about the idea of meeting you. 

But Jaeyun shrugged it off, Mrs. Lee or Dr. Byeon never caught up to their switches, all both of them had to do was stay indifferent, answer shortly, avoid speaking too much. Sometimes Jake would lose cool, which would end up with him being chained up to safeguard everyone and him. But it was a passing problem, Jake realized that soon enough, manipulating his behavior to gain the trust and go back to the routine, the handful of nurses and doctors of the old hospital were too tired to bother about minute differences in details anyway. And both of them thought no one would even bother with their little slip ups, so when you questioned Jaeyun about the previous week's checkup and about the disappearance of the bruises on his wrist, which he never really paid attention to before, he was terrified. He did what he could think was the best for you in those few seconds, he scared you, just like they did with every other new nurse who showed even the slightest bit of suspicion. Jaeyun thought it would be best if you leave, he did it to protect you from getting cornered by his brother, even when it broke his heart to treat you so poorly. 

"I told you to stay away from her Jake," Jaeyun softly pushed you behind him with his hand on your stomach. His other hand was still clenched in fist, aching from the punch he threw at Jake. He felt betrayed by Jake in a way, he waited for him to show up to switch places like usual but he was nowhere to be found. Now, Jaeyun agrees there have been instances where this had happened before and it wasn't a big deal, but Jaeyun was scared Jake knew about his feelings for you and he was afraid it wouldn't do any good for either of you. He waited and waited but his anxiety took the best of him and he left in search of his brother, but stumbled upon you in the middle of the road instead. 

From where you stood behind Jaeyun, you could see Jake's gaze trained on the way Jaeyun's hand held you, then back towards you face. His lips twitched, a scoff of disbelief escaping him as he glared at you. You recoiled a few steps away, hands instinctively going up towards your neck, which was now sore and had definitely started forming bruises. He took a few steps towards you and Jaeyun cut him off by firmly standing in between you, the tension between them palpable. 

"Can't you see Jaeyun? I really love her, I want to be with her, she feels the same, I visited her in her apartment," you could see the slight tension in Jaeyun's shoulder as those words left his brother's mouth. He took a deep breath trying to rationalize with Jake, "you're not in love with her, you're being obsessed, there's a difference, and following her and breaking into her house isn't normal." Jaeyun's voice was low but steady, almost as a warning waiting to be heard. Jaeyun took a few steps back, your hand finding his, he turned his head towards you for a brief moment, his fingers intertwined with yours in a subtle way to assure you he's with you. Jake took a few more steps forward, the gleam in his eyes was dark and calculating as he glared at Jaeyun, "oh so now I get it, when she smiles at you, it's destiny. But when she talks with me, I'm obsessed and it's not normal?" 

Jaeyun's breath hitch, "you're twisting things, you always do this-" Jake cut him off, "because you make it easier for me to do that. Don't you think she'd want to be with someone who is confident like me? Someone who will do anything for her? You think being the good one will make her choose you because of some moral obligations?" He leaned closer towards Jaeyun, "you know she kissed me in her apartment, she even promised to help me heal and be with me." Jaeyun's expressions faltered for a second and that was enough for Jake to know he's got his brother where he wanted him to be.

"See?" Jake whispered, "she doesn't want you the way she wants me, she's just a bit rattled. Maybe deep down she knows the one who's willing to fight for her love at all cost might love her harder than the one who's currently trying to be her knight in shining armor." You limped forward, pulling Jaeyun towards you to break the tension in between them by creating some distance. Jaeyun stepped back, his face void of color but his eyes burning, "don't drag her into this, don't try to turn her into a prize just because she was able to ignite some emotions in you. And I won't let you break her just so you could win to satisfy your ego." 

"Are you hurt because you thought I'm abandoning you for her? I wanted to get you out of that hospital and we could've lived happily after. But you just ruined that by running away from the hospital." At Jake's words Jaeyun exploded, lightly removing your hands from him before grabbing his brother's collar, "you weren't going to do any of that, you don't care about anyone else but yourself! You only want her because you know that I do! For you this is just another game, to win, to let your ego know that you're the better twin!" Jake stared back, cold and composed but you could feel the anger threatening to spill out from his eyes, "is that what you think? You finally agree that you'd choose a girl rather than your brother's happiness? I think you're starting to finally show that you hate me. Maybe you silently prayed that I never existed."

Silence stretched between them, both of them just waiting for the other to back down, then Jake huffed a breath, "you've always been the favorite child, the golden one if you asked me. Everyone loved you, trusted you, spoke highly of you. They never cared about me, never really heard my story unless it was you who narrated it. I'm tired of you." Jaeyun released his hold, breathing hard at Jake's confession, "I did choose you, Jake. Everytime you rebelled, everytime you destroyed things, everytime you hurt someone, I covered for you, I stood by your side. I even abandoned our parents because they abandoned you. I came back to you, agreed to give up everything so you could get an ounce of freedom and what did you conclude? I've loved you more than you ever deserved Jake!"

Jaeyun continued, "You've always found a way to let things go your way...I won't let that happen with her. Not because I want to win against you but because I know you'll destroy her." Jake's eyes travelled towards you then back at Jaeyun, "you think I'm that fucked in the head?" Jaeyun's eyes wandered towards the sky before they landed back on Jake, "I know you are." You stood quietly, letting them have their moment, it was funny really, two brothers fighting over you yet you didn't have a say in it. But as Jaeyun hugged Jake tightly, holding him close as if it was the last time he'll ever hold his brother like this, you realized who you had chosen after all.

Jake's eyes wandered towards you as he hugged Jaeyun back, taking in your condition. The dirty clothes, the bruised hands and neck, hair messy, face smudged with a mix of tears and dirt, your shoe bloodied due to the injury. Jake broke the hug as he made his way towards you. You took a step back, eyes darting towards Jaeyun who nodded reassuringly at you. "Will you be by his side forever?" His eyebrow arched as he waited to hear your answer, a hint of confusion gracing your features, "why are you asking me that?" You weren't sure if he would once again trick and harm you so you maintained your distance. 

Jake took out your phone from his pocket, dangling in front of your face before continuing, "do you have feelings for him or not?" You tried to grab your phone when he stretched his hand out of your reach, "you need to answer first pretty..." you shivered at the pet name used, eyes trailing towards Jaeyun then back at Jake's, you nodded your head reluctantly, eyebrows creasing in awkwardness because this is the first time you've admitted about your feelings in front of other. Jaeyun's breath hitched and Jake looked down for a second, deep in thought. For a few minutes, all of you just stayed still, processing everything, then Jake cleared his throat, opening your phone and typing something before tossing the phone back in your hand. 

He put his hands in his pocket, turning around towards his twin and just took in his presence. Jaeyun looked at him confused, his steps leading him towards where you and Jake were standing. Screeching of tyres and car engines disrupted the stillness established, you and Jaeyun exchanged glances as no one dared to move. Two cars stopped right in front of you, your eyes widening in realization, 4 security guards, Dr. Byeon, and Nurse Hong made their way towards you. Their gaze confused as they landed on Jake and Jaeyun, your stopped breathing, trembling hands unlocking your phone to check the last activity. Jake had messaged the hospital about his whereabouts. 

Jake made his way towards the security guards, to enter the car when Jaeyun stopped him, his eyes filled with tears as he hugged his twin. Jake sighed as he briefly hugged Jaeyun then pushed him in your direction, then turning towards Dr. Byeon to explain everything. You took a step forward, hands sliding in Jaeyun's in silent comfort. You could feel the pain, the love, the longing he felt as he watched Jake enter the car to go back to the hospital, his words loud and clear even from the distance, "maybe it's time for me to actually get better, I promise I'll be out of the hospital in no time in a much better state." Jaeyun sobbed in your shoulder as he watched the cars go. 

You decided it would be best for you to have a long vacation before you rejoined the hospital, Jaeyun was by your side taking care of you the whole time. The town was still the same, but it didn't feel that detached because he was by your side. You don't feel lonely now. You and Jaeyun decided it would be better to find another apartment for you since that place gave you nightmares, and it was only after all your injuries were healed that Jaeyun discussed his need to go for therapy. You assured him that it was the best decision and that you supported him. Your new apartment was right beside Sunoo's so now you had a companion to be with while going to work. His mom occasionally sends you food and invites you home so you don't feel homesick. 

The hospital authority finally decided to renovate the building, and more alert security was placed around the hospital. The room no. 015 was now completely sealed and turned into a storage room. It was safe to say everyone was baffled to their core when they learned how the brother's used to swap the places. More staff were appointed to the hospital to not burden the current staff to the point that mistakes like this happened again. And as for Jake, Jaeyun occasionally visited him, who was reluctant at first to meet his brother but then eased off since Jaeyun was very persuasive. Dr. Byeon decided he himself would monitor Jake and had informed you about his progress and cooperation and even though you still get chills from that night, you still hope he'll recover fast. 

"Hello, is anyone there!" You grinned when you enter the local diner, Uncle Noh, the middle aged cashier just gave you his signature deadpan look, "your smile gives me chills, but to answer your question unfortunately, yes..." you closed the door and made your way towards him anyway, now completely immune to his edgy personality. He called out Jaeyun's name before you could even reach him, a mop of dark hair peeking from behind the back door. You waved at him enthusiastically and he lit up as he rounded the counter and hugged you tight. 

"Gross, children nowadays make me sick with their pda," you laughed in Jaeyun's chest as Uncle Noh made his way inside the backroom, again. You felt Jaeyun kiss the top of your head, you pulled back slightly, your arms wrapped loosely around his waist. He kissed your temple before leaning in to put his forehead against yours. "You're done with your work early today," you smiled at his words as you kissed his nose, "I wanted to spend some time with you, so I completed my work with more enthusiasm, it's the weekend now." Jaeyun laughed at your excited tone, ruffling your hair a bit, he excused himself to gather his things so you could go back to your house. Initially Jaeyun decided it would be better to live separately, he wanted to learn how to live his life on his own and not be dependent on you. When you felt confident that he could survive on his own, you asked him if he would be okay with moving in and he agreed.

Jaeyun cooked dinner and while you finished taking a shower, you made your way towards him. He jumped slightly but relaxed when he felt your arms sneak inside his shirt and rest. He relaxed his body as you prepped kisses on his neck and shoulder. Your fingernails gently scratching his skin from his chest to his hips. He shuddered at your touch, biting back a whimper when you bit his ear. His hands held yours as he exhaled and let you continue. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss having you like this. 

"You visited Jake today, right?" You felt him nod his head, "he says Mrs. Lee told him he's improving." You smiled at his words and listened as he carefully told you about his visit. "He says he wants to apologize to you, but isn't sure if you're okay with it..." Jaeyun's voice was careful and cautious as he said those words to you, you stilled for a moment, though you acknowledged and encouraged Jake's will to get better you were yet to gain courage to face him. But maybe it was time to put all those things in the past and start anew. 

Jaeyun turned around in your arms after turning off the stove, then lifting you up and placing you on the counter. Your hands found home around his neck, his hands squeezing your plush things before sliding towards your knees. He pulled you towards the edge of the counter, parting your legs and smirking while slotting himself in between him. A small whine left your lips when he rubbed against your sensitive spot, a small smirk playing on his lips as he dipped his head low and captured your lips with his. Your one hand slid through his hair, scratching at his scalp while the other held onto his shoulder for dear life. He slid his tongue across your bottom lips and you parted your lips to let him deepen the kiss. One of his hands wrapped around the nape of your neck to pull you closer while his other roamed around your body till it reached your boobs. 

You moaned in his mouth when he gently squeezed it, hips grinding against his to create some friction to your aching core. He groaned sensing your needy state, his mind contemplating between eating the dinner or eating you out instead, his personal favorite was the latter. He secured your legs around his waist and carried you towards the bedroom, not breaking the kiss. He hoisted you against the closed door of your bedroom, a bit impatient, his hands searching for the door knob as he trailed kisses from your jaw to your neck and collarbone. You whined as he bit your sensitive spot, then soothe it with his tongue. It was messy, the way he made love with you but it was endearing nonetheless. 

He sighed deeply, opening the door and placing you on the mattress, his steps clumsy but you were too needy for his touch to even care. He climbed on top of you, your hands reaching for the buttons on his shirt and opening them with your trembling fingers, he chuckled lightly at you before helping you with the rest of the buttons and threw his shirt somewhere behind him. Your fingernails trailed down from his chest to his stomach and he shuddered, leaning down till he caged you in between his arms. His lips met yours again, his hands pulling at the hem of your (his) shirt that you were wearing. You pushed him a little bit, getting up to pull the shirt off of you. He hissed when he saw that you wore nothing underneath the shirt. 

"You're going to be the death of me," he murmured against your skin as he lapped at the sensitive skin of your breast, purposefully ignoring the spot you needed him to pay attention to. Your back arched off the bed, wanting, needing, craving his mouth around your nipples. You pulled his hair, hard, your action making him moan, you could feel him grow hard from where he was situated in between your thighs, your hips rutting against it. "You're being too impatient today baby," yet he couldn't help but grind his hips against yours to maximize the friction. "Need you Jae, so bad," his lips met yours to drown out your moans. Your neediness makes him lose control, "yeah baby? How bad? Can't even wait to take the clothes off before you cum?" 

You nodded your head, your eyes glassy with lust. He groaned, adjusting his position so his clothed bulge was pressed directly upon your clothed pussy, he spread your legs wider, folding your knees for better access. You pulled him close so his body was pressed against yours as he began moving back and forth against your pussy. "So needy," he huffed and you closed your eyes feeling overwhelmed by the emotions. Jaeyun, ever the sweet guy, noticed your actions, he put his forehead on yours, not once stopping the movements of his hips against yours, "you close baby?" you moaned in response, your body trembling as you reached your climax, your breath heavy as you opened your eyes, he followed right after you, collapsing on top of you. 

You rubbed his back while he caught his breath. His head nuzzled at the crook of your neck. He pulled away slightly to kiss you softly, "I love you baby." You smiled at his shy expression, cupping his cheek as you mumbled a quiet, "I love you too." He ran towards the bathroom, changing into clean sweatpants, and came back with a wet cloth to help you clean. You stayed sprawled on the bed as he removed your shorts along with your panties and cleaned you up. He threw the cloth on the laundry basket and helped you get dressed into clean pajamas. You spread your arms when you were done with everything, he happily obliged, head nuzzling on your chest as he let himself rest. 

"You know," He started after a few moments of silence, you hummed in response, feeling tired, "even though we met in very unusual circumstances, I'm glad I met you. You're one of the best things that has happened in my life." Your heartbeat quickened at his unexpected confession, knowing that being vulnerable is something he had always struggled with. He chuckled at your raised heartbeat, "I can hear your heartbeat you know, it's kinda funny it's you who is flustered." You pushed him off of you, grabbing the pillow at hitting him, "you should be glad I love you, don't forget how your heartbeat used to get hiked up whenever I used to perform an auscultation on you." He laughed at your words, grabbing your hands and pulling your body flush against his, "I know, I found you so pretty I couldn't help myself, God forbid a man is utterly infatuated by the love of his life." You just shook your head, hands wrapping around his torso, you could get used to this. 

[minhaemin]

ʙʀᴜɪꜱᴇꜱ – ꜱɪᴍ ᴊᴀᴇʏᴜɴ

engineering major!jake x nursing student fem!reader

୨୧ genre: strangers to implied lovers, mostly angst & smut, MDNI | words: 17.3k | cw: jake is very in love but also lowkey emotionally unavailable, mentions of blood and injuries, self-indulgent shade on iced americano, HANDS (also self-indulgent),  jake has one wet dream, munch jake,  fingering – also semi-public (in his car),  mentions of orgasm denial, marking and biting, dry humping, nipple play,  unprotected sex, creampie, praise, aftercare!! ୨୧ 

read this as a standalone or as a prologue to bandaids! if you've already read bandaids, you can still read this one after. it'll make sense both ways ><

hanna says: huge thank you to @brklynbabyjay and @jayparked for brainstorming a lot with me & helping me with the plot. thank you su for betaing me for this monstrosity and thank you snail for giving me the idea for the title. i appreciate you so so much. also congrats to @tmrwsuns for not losing your mind (and ears) when i yapped about this too much. thank you for hyping me up instead! ily all and this wouldn't have been possible without you <3

mature content under cut, minors do not interact!

“J-Jake,” you mumble out, your fingers tightening the grip on his hair, pulling a little harder – just enough to create the perfect sense of pain. Jake opens his eyes and looks up to you, the sight alone enough to make him bring a finger up to your leaking hole while his tongue keeps focusing on your clit. Your eyes are shut almost a little too tightly, eyebrows firmly drawn together, and bottom lip pulled between your teeth, although that’s barely enough to muffle the pretty moans and whimpers that Jake so badly needs to hear.

It’s almost pathetic how his heart skips a beat at just how easily his finger slides in, how with each pump of it, he can practically see the air getting knocked out of your lungs. When he closes his lips around your clit to gently suck it between his teeth and your head falls back, perfectly displaying the dark red spots he left there so carelessly just minutes ago, he can’t help but let his free hand slip under the soft fabric of his sweatpants, palming his pulsating length through his boxers.

A low groan escapes his lips, sending a wave of vibration through your core that has you bucking up your hips. The movement forces Jake’s eyes shut, his hand almost instinctively leaving his own body and instead reaching for your hip to pull you even closer to his face. 

The second he opens his eyes, the bright rays of sunlight that peak through his curtains force him to squeeze them shut again – only to be met with the same image: you squirming underneath him, legs shaking around his head that you desperately try to pull closer.

Suddenly, his usually loose shirt feels too tight, his light blanket too heavy, and he’s hyper aware of the way his dark bangs stick uncomfortably to his sweaty forehead. He forces his tired lids to lift again and slowly sits up, leaning his back against the headboard of his bed and running his hand through his hair first and then over his face. 

With a sigh, Jake tugs at his shirt, loosening it from his body in an attempt to cool down. His eyes scan the room – books carelessly scattered across his desk, clothes piling up on the chair and the  gym bag with his favorite pair of boxing gloves dangling from it – searching for something, anything, that could distract him from his painfully throbbing hard-on.

Yet, as if he isn’t trying so hard to think of anything other than you, his gaze lands on a few loose papers piling up on the edge of his desk: The notes he took during last week’s statistics class, looming over him like a cruel reminder of the deal that got him into this very situation in the first place.

Back then, when you mutually agreed to help each other, when he promised to send you his notes in return for you taking care of his bruises whenever practice got too rough. The image of your big, innocent eyes as you inspected his bleeding knuckles and the little gash right under his eye only twists the knife of guilt further in his chest.

Jake’s mind flashes back to that one statistics lecture – the only one he was late to. How every seat in the back was taken and he had to awkwardly walk down the stairs to the very front of the lecture hall, feeling all eyes on him as if he walked the walk of shame. How he sat next to you, simply because it was the very first seat he could spot, and he accepted anything to spare him further embarrassment or a comment from the lecturer who had already been eyeing him with raised eyebrows and ‘annoyed’ written all over his face.

He only exchanged a quick, rather forced, smile with you, before rummaging around his backpack until he found a few loose papers and a single pen. Back then, he wasn’t sure if you tried to be subtle as you glanced at his desk from the corner of your eye, observing his rather poor set up, but he noticed nonetheless. Glancing back, he saw you equipped with various pens and highlighters in different colors, yet the notepad in front of you was empty save for the date you’d neatly noted down in the right corner.

You quickly averted your gaze again, glancing back and forth between your empty paper and the lecturer. The crease between your eyebrows got deeper with each phrase he uttered, and your hand stayed rooted in place. Knowing you were supposed to take notes, that there was no way to pass that class otherwise, the professor’s words began to blur together until they were nothing but a fog that clouded your understanding until all hope of making sense of the content disappeared.

Jake on the other hand quickly scribbled down words and formulas, his pen moving over the paper with ease while his focus remained almost entirely on the lecturer and the slides that he projected onto the wall. You eyed his paper again, trying to somehow make sense of the words and numbers, trying to find something you could copy by any chance – just so you wouldn’t leave the lecture hall with an empty notepad again like you’d done the previous two weeks.

But when you tried to catch another glimpse of his notes, his hand quickly rushed over the page while noting down another apparently important point the professor had just made – and your eyes landed on his knuckles.

“They’re not supposed to be that red,” you blurted out your first thought before you could stop yourself. It took Jake a few seconds to fully register your words, but his hand slowly came to a halt as he turned his head your way. He furrowed his brows in a mixture of surprise and confusion, but you barely noticed, your gaze now focused on the gash under his eye. “Neither this,” you added, a little quieter this time.

He didn’t reply, just looked at you with a blank, unreadable expression that forced you to swallow so heavily you were sure it would have been audible hadn’t it been for the lecturer’s endless ramble. You could feel your shoulders tensing as seconds went by without any response from him, and although you pressed your lips together slightly, the silence felt so oddly oppressing that you couldn’t hold back from breaking it again.

“Looks a little puffy too,” you scanned his face for any reaction before averting your eyes as if that could stop him from keeping his on you.

“It’s a bit swollen,” he replied after a while, causing your head to snap back to him, eyes slightly widening in surprise. The boy offered the hint of a smile that was gone so quickly that you barely had enough time to register, let alone reciprocate it.

“Do they hurt?” you asked, letting your eyes wander from the bruise under his eye back to his knuckles, “or feel warm?”

He curled his fingers, clenching his hand into a weak fist before replying with a short nod that you saw from the corners of your eyes, “a little bit of both.”

You hummed. “Might be getting infected.”

When he just wordlessly blinked at you again, you added, “I have some stuff if you wanna clean them up after the lecture.” This time, his reaction was almost immediate, although wordless yet again. He creased his brows another time, scanning your face up and down as if he wasn’t quite sure if he should be confused or suspicious.

“I’m in nursing school,” you clarified. “So yeah, I carry like a mini first-aid kit with me pretty much all the time.” 

Jake’s lips formed a silent ‘oh’ as he nodded understandingly, fingers hovering over his notes almost absentmindedly while he seemed to consider your offer. “I mean,” he began, eyes flashing to the rows behind from where he’d registered a quick ‘sh’, and nodded again. “Alright,” he whispered before offering another quick smile that felt a bit more honest and a lot less awkward than before, and focusing on the lecture again. 

As soon as the professor dismissed the class, you closed your still empty notepad and collected your unused pens before neatly packing them into your bag and instead pulling out a small pouch, while Jake just carelessly shoved his papers into his own backpack, leaving them half crumpled. When you turned to face him, you found his eyes on you already, his expression a mix of uncertainty and expectation.

You wordlessly pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer out of the pouch and rubbed some of the liquid into your hands. Then, you took out a few antiseptic wipes, carefully tore open the packaging, and extended your arm to signal him to give you his hand.

His skin felt warm against yours, softer than you expected, as his long, slender fingers curled around yours to keep his hand in place, while you gently wiped off the remnants of his wound with your other hand. You watched intently as his veins became a little more present each time the sting of the antiseptic made him tighten his grip around your fingers. Then, you added a little bit of ointment, wrapped a bandage around the wound, and repeated the routine with his other hand.

As you leaned closer to examine the gash on his face and the faintest hint of your perfume tickled Jake’s nose, his breath flattened subconsciously. His eyes landed on your face, now close enough for him to notice the various shades of color in your eyes and the way your lashes curled up perfectly. Jake pulled his lower lip in between his teeth and gently bit down to stop his lips from curving into a smile at your focused expression and your slightly parted lips. Only when you gently tapped over the wound itself did he instinctively pull back just slightly, scrunching his nose in discomfort.

“Sorry.” You pressed your lips together in a tight, apologetic smile that Jake just dismissed with a smile of his own.

“That looks bad,” you mumbled as you carefully applied a thin layer of ointment.

“The other guy looks worse,” Jake stated with a mixture of triumph and amusement, earning himself a look from you that clearly showed you were trying not to snort. “I bet.”

Once you added a small band-aid, although Jake refused at first, you leaned back in your seat to examine his face and hands from a bigger distance. “Much better,” you said with a faint smile. “If they don’t heal, you should get proper medical help though.”

Jake bit back a smile and opted for a nod instead. “Thank you, I owe you.” This time, it was you dismissing his words with a shake of your head and a simple, “you’re good.”

He looked at you for a moment, as if waiting for you to row back on it. But when you didn’t, he slowly stood up from his seat. You mimicked the movement, slung your bag over your shoulder and wordlessly followed him to finally exit the lecture hall.

“Actually,” you said just before he reached the door. He turned back around, his eyebrows slightly raised to show he was listening. “Would you mind sharing your notes with me? I… have nothing,” you asked, avoiding his eyes out of sheer embarrassment. 

“Oh, sure, I got you,” he replied so casually you almost felt stupid for hesitating before. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to you, “Just save your number, I’ll send them to you later.” Nodding, you took the phone from his hand, making sure your fingers didn’t brush against his hurt ones in the process, and quickly typed in your number.

Jake quickly glanced at his phone once you gave it back, just long enough to catch your contact name, before he shoved it back into his pocket. “See you around, Y/N,” he said with a soft smile. And with that, he walked out the door.

That’s how you and Jake, who had first introduced himself as Jaeyun when he’d sent you the notes later that night, found yourselves in some sort of agreement: Every time you helped him patch up his bruises, he sent you his lecture notes. 

And yes, after some time, Jake started sharing his notes without asking for anything in return, as did you whenever he needed your help outside of your statistics schedule. But none of your interactions ever went in a way that would allow his mind to go down the alley of imagining you in any form of sexual context.

The loud ring of his alarm pierces through the silence, startling him and pulling him back to the moment – back to his bedroom that still holds way too little oxygen. Shifting uncomfortably, he reaches for his phone to turn off his alarm, only to be directly met with your name on his lockscreen. The short “thank you! :)” you sent about an hour ago, probably when you saw the lecture notes he’d sent you the evening before. Probably while he was still asleep, dreaming about nothing other than having his face buried deep between your thighs.

With a groan, Jake tosses his phone to the side, lets his head hit the headboard again, and brings his hands up to his shoulders in an attempt to knead away the tension in his muscles. Yet, no matter how hard he tries to refuse, the image of you seems to flood his mind all over again each time he does so much as blink – and even the smallest movements of his hips force him to swallow down a whimper from how sensitive his cock feels against the restraints of his boxers.

Sighing, Jake slumps further against the headboard, spreads his legs just a little to sit more comfortably and takes a deep breath before consciously closing his eyes and really allowing himself to let his mind drift back to you one last time. How he grips your hips to pull you so close to his face that your taste and scent completely take over his senses. How your moans come dulled from how hardly you’re pressing your thighs around his head. How you’re shaking underneath him, clenching so deliciously around his tongue every time he lets it sink in between your folds.

His hand itches to reach for his cock, but he presses his fingers into the mattress instead, fisting the sheets to physically hold himself back from doing so. Then, just as his mind replays your image – of how you look under him, hair sweatily sticking to your pretty face and neck covered in purple love bites – he forces his eyes open again. Clenching his teeth, he sits up straight and lets his face fall into his hands.

“Fuck this,” he murmurs to himself, before he swings his legs off the bed and gets up. He pulls his shirt over his head as he walks to the bathroom, dropping it on the floor along with the rest of his sleeping attire and stepping under the shower where he lets cold water run over his body until it washed away every last thought of you.

Once Jake arrives at the gym, determined to ditch classes in order to keep his mind off of you, he immediately starts his usual warm-up routine, but neither running nor stretching nor the music blasting through his headphones is enough to really achieve that. A tap on his shoulder interrupts his wandering thoughts mid-stretch. When he turns around, he’s met with his friend Sunghoon’s face.

“No classes today?” the younger one asks, to which Jake just shrugs. “If you will.”

Sunghoon looks him up and down for a moment, not missing the hint of distress on his face, but he decides to not ask any questions. Instead, he tilts his head towards the ring in the middle of the room. “Wanna go a few rounds then?” Jake responds with a nod, mimicking his friend as he wraps his hands, straps on his gloves and pops in his mouthguard.

Muscle memory helps him to dodge the first few blows and even land a hit or two. But then, avoiding another dangerously close punch, he makes the mistake of shutting his eyes just for a split second mid-flinch. Yet, it’s enough for a flash of you to run through his mind; a tiny fragment of his dream replaying until a jolt of pain rushes through his head and pushes the image away with force. 

Sunghoon’s eyes widen as he steps back, clearly surprised that he, in fact, landed the punch he aimed right at Jake’s jaw so obviously. “What the fuck?”

Jake just quickly shakes his head, blinking the stars away. “Again,” he orders, repositioning himself before continuing. But just when he thinks his focus is at its peak again, his mind cruelly shifts back to how easily your arousal coated his lips and chin. And then, another punch right to his ribs makes him lurch forward, the air getting knocked out of his lungs in a choked grunt. 

“Focus, Jake,” Sunghoon says, voice laced with a mixture of confusion and warning. “How did you not see that one coming?” He aims another punch that Jake avoids with a step just at the last moment. “You’re slow as hell today, what’s up with you?”

Jake straightens his back and tilts his head to both sides to quickly stretch the tense muscles in his neck. “Nothin’,” he mumbles back, taking a short, yet deep breath in before aiming a hit Sunghoon easily, almost lazily, avoids. The latter raises an eyebrow, waits for just a second and then counters. Jake dodges the first punch, but the second hits him right on the opposite side of his jaw, quickly followed by a third against his ribs.

Scoffing, Sunghoon drops his arms and takes a step back. “Nope,” he says after a while of watching Jake recover from the pain. “We’re not doing this when you don’t even try.”

Before Jake can object, Sunghoon takes off his gloves, slipping through the ropes and out of the ring. Jake wipes his jaw with his forearm, hissing at the stinging pain as his sweaty skin meets the open wound. He bites down on the glove, using his teeth to abruptly pull at the strings before sliding it off his hand and doing the same on the other side. Then, he shoves them into his bag, jaw clenched so tightly in frustration it almost aches. Because even now, all that’s on his mind is you.

Just an hour later, Jake finds himself in front of your door. After taking a deep breath, he slowly rings your bell, the rush of his own blood in his ears muffling the sound that echoes through the door. Admittedly, he hesitated for a good thirty minutes before even contacting you, typing in his message and deleting it again. But despite really wanting to see anyone but you right now, he could already imagine your scolding voice if he didn’t show up. Something about how you’d told him time and again that he should come to you whenever he needed his bruises patched up and blah blah.

“Oh God,” your quiet gasp snaps him back to reality. Only now does he realize you already opened the door and, judging from your reaction, took in the image of his battered face. Before he can react, you reach for his arm, pull him inside and close the door behind him. You wordlessly guide him to the bathroom where you motion him to sit down on the edge of the bathtub before you grab a small emergency kit from the drawer under the sink.

Jake watches you as you move – quickly but precisely, washing your hands and separating cotton pads to soak them up with an antiseptic whose scent stings almost uncomfortably in his nose. When you turn back around, he quickly looks down. Only when you place your index finger under his chin to carefully lift his head does his eyes meet yours again – and he feels his jaw tensing just by the way you scan his face with that familiar, worried expression of yours. Because once it makes his chest feel tight with endearment, it’s quickly replaced by a wave of guilt. Your simple, innocent touch is enough to make him shiver, his mind immediately racing with a million way too inappropriate thoughts and the desperate attempt to push them all away. 

Angling his face to the side, you carefully tap the cotton pad over the wound on his jaw first. “Relax,” you murmur so quietly it might as well have been a whisper when you feel him clenching his teeth even harder. You flicker your eyes up to his briefly only to find them squeezed shut – something he’s never done before. The sight makes you bite the inside of your cheek, the thought of him actually being in pain tugging at your heart just a little.

Turning his face to the other side, you take a new wipe to clean up the slightly smaller bruise there. Once you’re done, you apply a thin layer of ointment to both before letting go of his chin. Just as you want to take a step back, he opens his eyes – and although they seem to hold a vulnerability you’ve never seen before, they soften a little at the sight of yours.

“Thank you,” he mumbles after a while, eyes not leaving yours this time. He’s found himself in that position several times before; sitting on the edge of your bathtub with you standing in between his legs. Yet for the first time, his hands itch to reach out to you.

“Does the other guy look worse again?” you try to joke, but the hint of worry in your voice betrays you. Jake’s lips still twitch up into a soft smile as he shakes his head.

You slowly take a step back to create a bigger distance between you and lean against the sink. And although Jake should feel relieved by the newfound space that makes breathing a little easier again, a tiny part of him wants to pull you back right where you stood two seconds ago.

“So, are you finally gonna tell me how you end up like this every other day? Cause if not, I might start thinking you’re doing some kind of shady stuff.” You cross your arms in front of your chest.

Jake chuckles softly. “I actually do it for fun,” he begins, “and for career reasons, I guess. I’ve been boxing ever since I was a teenager and I wanna go pro.” He studies your face for a second before he continues. “That’s why I don’t put too much effort in my engineering degree, you know. I’m just… kinda doing it ‘cause my parents don’t approve of the whole boxing thing. But that’s always been my first choice.”

There’s something about the hint of pride in his voice that warms your heart, despite the worry that also settles somewhere there. “So, you’re getting beat up for your dreams?” you ask, drawing a quiet laugh from Jake.

“Hey, I beat up people too,” he defends.

“Yeah. And I don’t know if I think that’s a solid career plan.”

Jake halts for a moment and searches your eyes again, expecting that disapproving look he usually got when he shared his plans with anyone. But he only finds a hint of worry instead – and he quickly tries to dismiss the way his heart squeezes ever so slightly. “Now you sound like my parents, too.” 

“Well, thanks to them, you go to college and I won’t fail statistics,” you say with a chuckle.

Jake just responds with a soft smile that’s somehow still enough to spread a warm, cozy feeling all across your chest.

“Good, because medicine can’t afford to lose its best future nurse.”

“Break time,” Jake’s voice cuts through the silence so firmly that you flinch, pen gliding over your notes and crossing some of the words out. You look around the library to find around a dozen other students glaring in your direction, and quickly offer them an apologetic smile before your eyes dart back to Jake.

“I’m not done yet,” you reply, forcing your focus back on the textbook in front of you – until Jake takes the pen from your hand, places it between the open pages and closes the book. “But you’ve been studying non-stop for almost three and a half hours now. I can see your brain fuming,” he sighs. Just as you open your mouth to oppose, he shakes his head and gently presses his index finger against your lips.

“You know that suggesting a break when you’ve been the one to doomscroll this whole time is crazy, right?” you  mumble against the digit. He lets it rest on your lips for another second, and you swear you can see his gaze dropping – but before you can think about it, he looks up again.

“Coffee,” he suggests, although it sounds more like an order. Biting your lip, you debate whether to agree or to bury your head in your books again.

“Coffee it is,” you finally say with a sigh before collecting your stuff and shoving them back into your bag.

The walk to the small campus café is silent, but while it feels like a much needed break for you, it just seems to give Jake’s mind time and space to wander. Every time your shoulders bump against his or his fingers brush yours while walking, even if just for a fragment of a second, his skin starts buzzing. 

By the time you reach the counter, his throat feels so tight that simply asking for your order takes all the effort he can muster. For a second, you eye him with furrowed brows, not quite sure if his jaw is really as tight as it looks or if it’s just the different light inside the store that casts a weird shadow there. 

“I’ll go with a caramel macchiato.”

“Suits you,” Jake responds without thinking, only realizing what he said when your brows draw together again.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He hesitates for a moment. Then, he takes a deep breath that he masks with a shrug. “You’re also sweet.”

You look at him in disbelief, and he almost rows back on his words, until you let out a quiet chuckle. “If that’s you trying to make me pay for your coffee, it’s not working. And by the way, americano is ass. Literally doesn’t even taste like coffee, it’s just colored water and–” 

But Jake doesn’t even listen anymore, busy struggling to ignore the pang in his chest just because you remember his usual order. He bites back his comment about how ‘coffee isn’t coffee either if it contains more syrup than anything else’, instead placing the order and paying before you even get the chance to take out your wallet.

Once you settle on a small table, the silence between you feels relieving – as if your brain finally got the chance to shut off after hours of trying to fit half a semester of pharmacology into your head. Jake, on the other hand, doesn’t feel half as relaxed, seemingly not able to peel his eyes off you, no matter how hard he tries.

You look around the café for a while, watching people come in and leave, until your eyes settle on Jake again. His gaze is intense, filled with something you can’t really read, but it sure is enough to make your heart skip a beat. Enough to suddenly make you feel smaller, tension creeping into your body again.

“What?” you ask so quietly you’re not sure if he even hears over the background noise of the store. Jake only shakes his head in response and drops his gaze to his hands. Your eyes follow his and you allow yourself to watch him play with his rings for a while – turning them, sliding them off and back onto his fingers, knuckles slightly red and veins oh so prominent. Your mind wanders, replaying fragments of every time you cleaned the blood or dirt off his knuckles, or how you taped band-aids around his fingers. Of how his hands felt in yours, fragile but somewhat good, somewhat safe. 

“You’ve got something on your mouth,” Jake’s voice makes your head snap back up. As you try to wrap your head around how long you’ve been zoned-out, Jake reaches forward, wipes his thumb over the corner of your mouth and holds it in front of your lips. You part them just enough to close them around the tip of his finger and lick off the whipped cream, cheeks heating up so quickly you’re sure it’s evident. But Jake doesn’t notice, and if he does, he doesn’t point it out.

Instead, he leans back casually and grabs his drink again. “Do you wanna go back to the library?”

To his surprise, you shake your head. “My brain’s mushy, I feel like I won’t even remember what I studied today.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re always stressing too much. Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

Once you sit down in the passenger seat of Jake’s car, you immediately slump against the leather, lean your head against the window and let the glass cool down your pounding temple. Jake gets in the driver's seat, but instead of starting the engine, he looks at you with his head tilted to the side. “Tired? Or frustrated?” 

With a sigh, you lift your head and turn around to face him. “I usually feel better after a break, but now I really don’t.”

“Maybe you need a… different kind of break,” he hesitates, eyes dropping to your lips for the blink of an eye, so short you barely register it. “Release some stress, you know.”

“Oh, are you volunteering?” You laugh, but Jake doesn’t reply, doesn’t laugh – doesn’t even tear his eyes away from yours. He just shrugs.

In no time, your smile fades, your eyes widen and your breath gets caught in your throat so quickly that it’s hard to speak. “I–... I was joking.”

“Well, I’m not,” he says, face as calm as ever, when in reality his heart seems to be racing a marathon and his palms begin to feel sweaty.

“Did you get hit in the head last practice?” You try to joke, but the small tremble in your voice betrays you.

He absentmindedly pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth as his eyes drop from your eyes to your lips and back up again, holding your gaze as though he could see right through the chaos that is your thoughts. Feeling your heartbeat picking up and your breath coming shorter, you try to swallow down the lump that begins to form in your throat. Jake seems to lean just a hint closer, wetting his lips with his tongue – but just as you want to lean forward too, he suddenly pulls away and sits back in his seat, head falling against the headrest with a sigh. He resists the urge of running his hand through his hair in frustration, before turning his head to the side to look at you again.

“Sorry. I probably did get hit in the head,” he mumbles.

You look at him for a moment, trying to gather your courage to say something, but the words don’t come until he reaches for the key to start the car.

“That’s so unfortunate,” you say, making him stop, “I liked the idea.”

The words make Jake’s eyes dart back to you, and for a while, he just looks at you with an unreadable expression, scanning your face as if trying to find out whether you’re joking. But your gaze is steady and your lips don’t twitch in an attempt to bite back a smile or a laugh. You just lean in a little, then stop to give him time to react. Jake’s eyes never leave yours as he mirrors the gesture.

He leans closer until you can feel the ghost of his breath fanning over your skin, letting goosebumps erupt from just that – and then, as if you’re pulled towards each other by force, you close the distance until his lips are on yours. 

He kisses you softly at first, hesitantly, as though he’s trying to savor how soft your lips feel or how effortlessly they move in sync with his. Heart beating so fast you can feel it in your throat, you reach out to get ahold of his collar and pull him closer. You feel his hands cupping your cheeks, fingertips pressing against your skin like you’d slip away otherwise. But instead, you curl your fingers around the fabric harder and tug on it with just enough force for your teeth to clash.

“Come here,” Jake murmurs against your lips, dropping his hands to your hips and carefully pulling you over the middle console and onto his lap. He kisses you again, this time with more urgency. Your hands find their way around his neck, fingers weaving through his hair and tugging on the ends when he gently bites your lip.

The space between you feels too small and not big enough at the same time, and you’re not sure whether you want to pull away or scoot closer. But before you can make up your mind, Jake tightens his grip on your hips and pulls you in until your torsos touch and you can feel his chest rising and falling against yours as he gently pulls away from the kiss.

“Feel better already?” He asks, voice slightly hoarse and lips softly brushing yours. Jake squeezes your hips as your hands slide from the back of his head down to his shoulders, solely to hold himself back from shuddering at the simple touch. 

“Don’t know,” you reply, smiling against his lips. “Might need a little more to convince me.”

You feel him reciprocating your smile before he kisses you another time. His hands tentatively slide under the hem of your shirt and to your lower back, just resting on your skin, while yours brush over his collarbones and to his chest, where you feel  his heartbeat quickening under your fingertips. 

Jake tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss, and almost immediately, your hands rush up to his neck again, tugging on his hair just enough to draw a low groan from him. His hands move up and down your waist as though he’s trying to memorize every inch of your body. You slowly pull back, just enough to whisper his name against his lips like it’s the only thing you know how to say. His fingers dig into your skin ever so gently as he leans down to leave soft kisses against your jaw, making your breath stutter and your lips part. 

His touch feels somewhat urgent, yet not rushed – and though your heart aches at how gently he takes his time, how he pulls away barely enough to look at you just to make sure you’re okay, you can’t help the heat that spreads up your spine and down to your core. “Jake,” you whisper again, shuddering as he hums against your neck before he pulls back and scans your face for any signs of discomfort. “Want me to stop?” 

The way you shake your head almost frantically draws a chuckle from Jake. Leaning forward again, he continues to kiss your neck down to your collarbones, one hand still pressing into the flesh of your hips while the other begins to fidget with the waistband of your pants.

Your breath hitches as he slowly slides his hand past it, thumb carefully grazing over your clothed clit. “Let me take care of you,” Jake says so quietly it almost comes out as a whisper. He pulls his hand away, waiting for your response while slowly but steadily sliding the rings off his fingers.

Nodding slowly, you take a deep breath as he pulls your underwear to the side and slides a finger through your folds, collecting your slick and tracing it up to your clit again. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting the scent of his cologne tickle your nose as your breath gets shakier each second his finger carefully rubs over your sensitive bud.

You want to tell him you want more, but not trusting your voice you just buck your hips forward slightly. Jake, who understands wordlessly, bites back a smile as you can’t seem to help the quiet whimper at the feeling of his digit prodding at your entrance. “That what you want?” He asks, voice so confident it only intensifies the feeling of being completely put into his hands. You just manage a quiet hum that gets stuck in your throat as he slowly pushes the finger in, immediately curling it so perfectly that you could almost forget it’s the first time he’s ever touched you like that.

Continuing his antics, he carefully adds a second finger, angling them just right to hit the sweet spot that draws a quiet moan from you. The sound is enough to cause a shiver to run down Jake’s spine –  and suddenly, all he wants is to hear it again.

He gently presses his thumb against your clit, not able to hold back the quiet groan as he feels you clenching around his fingers. As your grip on his shoulders tightens and your breath comes even more ragged, he places a gentle kiss on the crown of your head. “Everything still okay?”

The softness in his voice makes your heart flutter a little as you try your best to stay composed enough to nod. “Just… please don’t stop,” you murmur, voice almost breaking at the end. Your breath feels hot against Jake’s neck, yet it makes him shiver. Every curve of his fingers seemingly guided solely by your sounds and the way you arch into him, Jake closes his eyes to focus only on the way your breath grows heavier as each stroke brings you closer to release.

“Let go for me, hm?” Jake asks so gently it fully contrasts the pace of his fingers, making your heart squeeze just as your orgasm hits you with a force that has you digging your fingers into his shoulders. Jake continues, helping you ride out your high, until pleasure gives way to pain and you manage a choked out ‘too much’. He pulls away quickly but carefully, slightly shaking his shoulder to get you to lift your head.

“Hey,” his eyes search yours as he gently rubs your back underneath your shirt, “you alright?” Taking a deep, shaky breath, you nod and back it up with a soft smile. Jake’s eyes drop to your lips once more, but he doesn’t lean in. Instead, he pulls your head to his shoulder again and just holds you there until your breath evens out.

When you open your eyes again and your gaze falls directly onto his strained pants, you slowly trace one hand from his shoulder down his torso. Jake’s eyes flutter shut as his cock twitches in anticipation – but just as your fingers ghost over his clothed length, he grabs your wrist to stop you. When you lift your head and give him a questioning look, he just offers a smile in return, lifts your hand to his lips, and places a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“You don’t owe me anything, you know. I just wanted you to feel good.” You open your mouth, but he shakes his head, reassuring, “I’m okay, really. Let’s take you home, yeah?”

Even days later, you don’t talk about what happened, or how steadily he held your hand when he insisted on walking you up to your apartment. Neither about how he randomly starts coming over just to bring you snacks from the convenience store close to his gym whenever he heads home from practice. Not even after you notice that whatever he brings is always something you mentioned craving just a little while ago. 

And technically, things stay the same, except that they don’t, really. Jake still sits next to you in statistics lectures. He still takes the notes while you’re trying to figure out what’s going on, still sends them to you unasked. But now, he doesn’t pull away when his knee brushes yours under the table, and you swear he softly bumps his hand against yours on purpose while writing.

You still take care of his wounds after practice. It’s just that now, you text him every night to make sure he really is okay – even if he leaves your place just an hour earlier. And on some days, he doesn’t go home at all. You start keeping his favorite cereal in your kitchen cupboard, and suddenly, the mug he uses for his morning coffee becomes only his, and you stop using it.

He still looks after you, paying attention to your study habits and making sure you’re taking breaks. But now, taking breaks means having his head buried between your thighs. And now, revising means trying to remember what you studied just an hour ago while his fingers work you closer and closer to release, only granting it when you get the answers right.

“Metoprolol,” he reads what feels like the twentieth flashcard, thumb drawing soft circles over your clit. You sigh, closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling, until it suddenly stops. When you open your eyes, you find Jake already looking at you, waving the flashcard like a reminder. “Metoprolol,” he repeats.

“That’s a beta-blocker,” you grumble, wiggling your hips to get Jake to continue, but he just drops the flashcard to your mattress and grips your hips firmly enough to stop you.

“And what’s a beta-blocker?” He asks, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back his grin as you roll your eyes.

“You know what a fuckass beta-blocker is, Jake.”

He raises an eyebrow, slowly pulling his hand away from your core. “Come again?”

For a while, you just look at him, jaw clenched and hoping he’ll eventually give up on your pharmacology revision. But he just looks at you with an almost bored expression, not making any attempt to continue. 

“They lower heart rate and blood pressure,” you sigh, now giving him an almost pleading look. He hums, letting his thumb ghost over your skin without really touching you. “They’re usually used for hypertension or after heart attacks to–” you cut off with as he finally slips a finger into your aching hole.

The first ring of your doorbell barely catches your attention, muffled like a quiet disturbance somewhere further away. But when it rings again and a third time only shortly after, you push your chair back with a sigh and stand up. Your knees almost buckle and your spine cracks uncomfortably, shoulders hurting as you roll them back in an attempt to release the tension that’s been building up from sitting for countless hours.

The fourth ‘ding’ has you rolling your eyes annoyedly. A shiver runs over your scalp and down your spine as you release your hair from the tight bun you kept them in, only now realizing that the hairstyle probably contributed greatly to the pounding in your head. You ruffle them a bit, trying to adjust them so they fall into your face to cover as much of your reddened, puffy cheeks as possible, while you drag yourself to the door and open it without a glance through the small peephole.

The air from outside immediately hits you, clinging to your bare legs uncomfortably. It takes just a look at Jake’s gym bag to recognize him, but your eyes still slowly wander up his torso and to his face.

“Are you hurt?” you try to ask, but the words only come out half. You clear your throat and ask again, scanning his face for any visible bruises, but finding nothing but a hint of concern etched onto his features.

“No,” he replies, studying your face the same way you do with his and pulling his brows together a little tighter at the sight of your glassy eyes and the circles forming underneath them. “You didn’t reply to my messages all day and that’s… kinda unlike you. So I wanted to check in on you.”

“I was studying,” you mumble.

Jake sighs almost inaudibly, just loud enough for you to register the faint sound of it. “I can see that. You look like hell.”

You meet his gaze for a second before you avert your eyes. “Thanks, Jake. Flattering.”

He ignores your remark, still scanning your face. “Were you crying?” he asks, but you don‘t reply.

Without another word or an invitation, Jake takes a step towards you, closing the door behind him with a soft click and dropping his bag to the floor. “Come on, you should really take a break,” he says softly, and although the familiar hint of concern in his voice usually causes a gentle warmth to spread across your chest, this time it feels close to infuriating. You can feel how your shoulders tense again at his suggestion and you immediately shake your head in response. 

“You’ve probably been sitting at your desk for hours. It‘s okay to slow down a bit,” Jake says so soothingly it nearly comes off as belittling. He keeps searching your face for any type of reaction, his gaze suddenly so heavy on you that you almost begin to feel small. “You‘re not going to get anything done if you‘re this exhausted,” he tries again.

“I don‘t have time for a break. Not everyone can afford to fall behind and fail their classes, Jake!” You snap, the words spilling out in a tone much harsher than intended and before your brain even finishes your thoughts. It takes only a flicker of your eyes up to his face to see his reaction – his jaw tightening slightly and a small wrinkle forming on his forehead, not from concern this time, but from irritation.

He stays silent for a moment. “That wasn‘t necessary,” he finally mumbles, the earlier softness in his voice now replaced by something firmer. You open your mouth to apologize, but your throat tightens, closes up, makes it hard to speak or even swallow down your apology.

But just seconds later, Jake lets his shoulders fall with a soft sigh, the tension on his face slowly dissolving. He takes another slow step forward and reaches out to gently place his cold hands on your heated cheeks, cupping your face with a grip ever so lightly, as though he‘s giving you every chance to pull away and step back. “It‘s okay,” he reassures quietly. “I shouldn‘t have pressured you.”

Your throat tightens even more as you look up at him the second before tears begin to blur your vision – and just when you want to turn your head away, Jake tightens his grip. Closing your eyes instead, you grit your teeth as hard as you can when one tear rolls down your cheek and you feel Jake’s thumb gently wiping it away.

When you open your eyes only to find his eyes filled with more warmth and softness than ever before, you sniff once, mumble a low, “I’m sorry,” and pull back with a little more strength.

“Wanna rant about how annoying classes are?” he asks softly, tilting his head to the side, but you slowly shake your head. “Do you want me to leave?” He bites the inside of his cheek, regretting the question before he even finished asking it. But to his surprise, you shake your head again.

“Stay,” you confirm quietly, just loud enough for him to catch. His hand itches to reach out to you again – to pull you in and hold you close until he’s made sure that you’re okay. But instead, he just nods. “Movie?” He suggests so gently that your heart almost skips a beat at his attempt to still keep you away from your desk, just not as pushy as before.

When you settle on the sofa next to Jake, he places his arm on the cushions behind you. You stare at the screen, but you don’t really pay attention to whatever is playing. All you can focus on is Jake; the scent of his body wash, the way just sitting next to him leaves the palm of your hands sweaty despite the air conditioning, and how his arm behind you makes you feel so close to him, although he doesn’t touch you. You glance down right in time to catch Jake spreading his legs a little further – just enough for his knee to softly brush against yours.

Tentatively, you lean closer until your head reaches his shoulder. He lets his arm slide off the cushions and around your shoulder almost instantly, pulling you more in so your head rests fully on his shoulder. You stay like that in silence, Jake absentmindedly letting his fingers slide up and down your arm, until you scoot a little closer. He reaches for your thigh with his free hand, slowly curling it around the inside of it just to place your leg on top of his own.

“Is this okay?” he asks quietly as he lets his hand rest on your knee. 

The simple, innocent contact is enough to make your breath hitch, enough to let goosebumps erupt on every inch of skin he touches. Not trusting your voice, you opt for a quick nod of your head that draws a sheepish smile on Jake’s face.

You stay like that for a bit, both pairs of eyes on the screen without really paying attention. Jake traces gentle patterns on your skin, trying his best to not be too obvious about how he follows every small twitch of your thigh or every inch you slowly scoot closer. Skin crackling under his touch, a soft sigh gets caught in your throat as he slings his arm around your waist and pulls you onto his lap.

“Better?” he asks quietly, almost inaudible over the sound coming from the TV. You reply with a hum, before hesitantly draping your arms around his neck. Your fingers gently lace through his hair as you lean forward to rest your head on his shoulder again. His hands settle on the small of your back, just holding you in place for a while.

Although neither of you speaks, the show that’s playing slowly wanders to the very back of your mind, attention zeroing in on the sound of Jake’s steady breaths and the feeling of your body gently pressed against his, somewhat peaceful, yet unsettling at the same time. Not enough.

As if reading your mind, Jake softly tugs at your sweater to wordlessly gain your attention. Shifting slightly, you lift your head from his shoulder to look at him. His eyes find yours immediately, softening just a bit at how they now seem much calmer than before. You allow yourself to get lost in his brown orbs, and, for the very first time, embrace the warmth that spreads through your chest. You're so absorbed in his eyes that you don’t even acknowledge the strand of hair falling onto your face until you feel Jake gently tugging it behind your ear. 

His hand lingers on your cheek as his eyes dip down to your lips. Chest buzzing from your quickening heartbeat, you tentatively lean a little closer. He lets his hand slide to the back of your head and gently pushes you forward until his breath fans over your lips – and before he can ask, you close the last bit of distance between you.

Surprised at first, Jake reacts quickly, eyes closing and lips moving effortlessly in sync with yours. His fingertips gently press against your scalp as he angles his head slightly to deepen the kiss. The blissful shiver his touch sends down your neck draws a whimper from you, so quiet you would have thought it went unnoticed by Jake if it wasn’t for the twitch of his fingers. When you slowly pull back, breaths coming more ragged, his hand moves from the back of your head down to your neck, fingers curling around your throat ever so gently – just enough to pull you back in.

He kisses you almost feverishly now, earlier hesitation gone as he glides his tongue against yours and gently bites on your lower lip. Each of his antics has you pulling on his hair a little harder, sending blissful shivers down his spine at the memory of all the times he felt that same tug on his scalp with his face buried in between your thighs.

Slowly pulling back and allowing both of you to breathe, his hand drops from your neck to your hips, pushing past the hem of your sweater to rest on your bare skin. Then, his lips are on you again, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses against your jaw, your neck, the spot right under your ear and your collarbone. He sucks on your skin, gently bites down wherever he knows it will draw a quiet moan from you, and quickly licks over the bruised skin to soothe it – all while firmly holding you close to him, fingers almost boring into your skin. 

His other hand toys with the fabric of your sweater, softly tugging on it without making any attempt to rid you of it. But the ache between your legs only grows bigger with every second that passes with him marking what seems like every accessible inch of your skin. You let your hands sink to his shoulders, squeezing softly to get his attention, but his lips stay attached to your collarbone, leaving yet another love bite.

Only when you manage to mumble his name, voice breathy and almost breaking at the end of the syllable does he pull back to look at you. “Take it off,” you mutter – and before he can open his mouth to ask if you’re sure, you beat him to it with a quiet “please.” He nods, hands sliding to the hem of your sweater to slowly, almost shakingly push it up. Trying his best to keep his eyes on yours, he can’t help but peek down as he carefully pushes the piece of clothing over your head and drops it somewhere on the sofa.

“So pretty,” he whispers, leaning forward again to softly place his lips on top of yours, hands sliding up hesitantly before cupping your boobs and giving them a gentle squeeze that draws another quiet moan from you. His lips trail down your neck again, touch gentle yet somewhat impatient, until he reaches your chest.

Raising his head to look up at you, he waits until you give a short nod, before attaching his lips to one nipple. The content sigh that leaves your lips at the contact shoots right to his hardening cock. Eager to draw another one from you, he flattens his tongue against the bud, gently sucking on it right after. Once the quiet moan reaches his ears, the corners of his lips curl up into a smirk. He pulls off to come eye-level with you, chuckling softly as he catches the hint of disappointment on your face at the loss of contact.

“Don’t hold back,” he orders, voice not as firm as he initially planned, but the hint of softness makes your heart flutter a little. “I know you can be louder than that. Let me hear you, hm?” He asks, bringing two fingers in front of your lips. You slowly open your mouth just enough for him to push the digits past your lips and onto your tongue. Keeping your eyes on his, you hesitantly start sucking on his fingers, not missing how his jaw tenses although his expression never falters once.

“I said let me hear you,” he repeats, voice dipping lower – just enough to make another shiver run down your spine, but you stay silent. He pulls his fingers out with a tsk. “You’re not usually this shy, what’s up today?”

Instead of waiting for a response, his mouth is on your nipple again, the fingers that pressed down on your tongue just moments ago coming up to flick and twist the other one. Your head lolls back with a shaky breath, nails digging a little deeper into his clothed shoulders.

There’s a part of you that wants to keep holding back, not only out of shyness, for this is the first time Jake has ever seen you shirtless. It’s the way his antics grow messier, almost desperate to finally get the reaction he wants, that just feels too good. While you’re busy wondering if just nipple stimulation has ever caused your underwear to stick to your drenched core this much, one particularly harsh pull rips a surprised moan from you. 

Although you keep your eyes closed, partly to spare you from embarrassment, you can feel Jake smiling against your skin. You subconsciously slide forward, his hardening cock pressing against your heat, and the tiny bit of friction is enough for you to clench around nothing. When you press against him again, Jake curses under his breath, but you don’t quite catch what he says. Both his hands are quick to land on your ass, fingers digging into the plush skin while he guides you, and the way the outline of his clothed hard-on perfectly presses against you draws whimper after whimper from you.

Your eyes roll back each time his tip meets your pulsating clit, the sensation feeling almost overwhelming despite the layers of fabric between you. Not knowing how to deal with the mix of not wanting to stop and really, really wanting more, his name leaves your lips in a moan that has his hips stuttering for a second.

“What do you want?” he asks softly, tilting his head to the side the adorable way he often does when talking or listening to you.

Instead of replying, you only press against him harder. His eyes roll back with a low groan, but he refuses to give in.

“Use your words, pretty.”

“Want you,” you murmur, and although he really wants to hear you say it again, he’s too impatient to make you repeat yourself. Instead, he quickly manhandles you from his lap onto the sofa, your back pressed against the cushions as he hovers over you and starts leaving more kisses from your neck over your chest and stomach down to the waistband of your shorts. He quickly pulls it in between his teeth and down your legs without breaking eye contact. Once your shorts and underwear are carelessly discarded somewhere on the floor, his hands find their way to your thighs, spreading them apart to put your dripping core perfectly on display for him. 

You let your forearm fall over your eyes as you feel the familiar heat creeping up on your cheeks, feeling timid no matter how many times he’s already seen you like this. The feeling of two fingers gently sliding in between your glistening folds makes you arch your back, and although you can’t see him, you can practically hear Jake’s grin as he speaks, “so wet just for me?”

Again, he doesn’t wait for your response and licks one long stripe from your hole up to your clit, where he circles the bundle of nerves with his tongue before tentatively sucking it between his lips. The moan that rips from your throat only motivates him to do it again, making your back arch off the sofa again. When his tongue finds your hole, his nose bumps against your clit, drawing another whimper from you while he laps up everything you give him with a content hum.

Just as he focuses on your clit again, grabbing your thighs and placing your legs over his shoulders to bury his face deeper between them, you manage a quiet “stop” in between moans.

Jake quickly sits back on his knees and brings his hands to your thighs to gently massage them. “Is everything okay?” The soft look he gives you makes your heart skip a beat, your chest feeling warm with endearment.

“I just… I want you,” you admit, watching as his eyes widen.

Suddenly, Jake’s throat feels dry, and his chest rises and falls quicker as he tries his best to find a different meaning to your words than the one he initially comes up with. “What do you mean by that?”

You hesitate for a moment. “I want you to–... I need you to fuck me.”

Jake’s hands come to an immediate halt, as he swallows the lump in his throat to physically hold his jaw from dropping at your words.

“Fuck, you can’t say this like that,” he mutters.

You don’t respond, just look up at him with pleading eyes as you can practically see his brain short-circuiting.

“I don’t have any con–”

“I don’t care,” you interrupt him, “please, Jake.” Grabbing the collar of his shirt, you pull him in for a soft kiss that completely contrasts the urge in your core. He immediately melts into the kiss, reciprocating it with the same tenderness, until he pulls back way too soon and pulls his shirt over his head.

Your hands find his skin, marvelling at the toned chest and abs he’s been hiding from you. Jake sighs softly at the contact, muscles contracting under your touch as your fingers curl under the waistband of his sweatpants to pull them down along with his boxers. His cock springs free, perfectly hard with beads of precum dribbling down the sides. You reach out, but Jake grabs your wrist to stop you. His other hand pushes your leg more to the side before he carefully guides his tip through your wet folds, over your clit and down to your leaking hole. He hisses at the feeling, clenching his jaw tight to hold back from moaning just from the feeling of your arousal alone. 

“Jakeee,” you whine, bucking up your hips just enough for his tip to slide in. Choking back a groan, he places one hand on your knee to angle your leg so that he can properly line himself up with your entrance. He looks at you as if scanning your face for any kind of uncertainty, but before he can ask if you’re sure, you nod.

Jake slowly pushes in, head thrown back as your warm walls welcome him inch by inch. His fingers dig into the flesh of your leg as he tries to hold onto whatever little sanity he has left in him and give you time to adjust.

“Doing so good for me already,” he mumbles more to himself than to you, but the praise is enough for you to clench around him in a way that draws a hiss from him while his eyes shut close. He wants to tell you how you can’t do that to him just yet, but he doesn’t trust his voice. Just as he tries to focus on not bursting without having even moved, your gentle grip on his biceps makes him open his eyes.

“You can move,” you say softly. And so he does, head dropping to the crook of your neck as he slowly starts moving.

Although the stretch feels amazing, the way his hips roll against yours so perfectly, hitting all the right places in a way you haven’t felt before, something feels off. You try to angle your hips differently, to change the placement of your legs, squirming under him for less than three seconds before he quickly comes to a halt. He lifts his head, eyes searching yours as his hand quickly comes up to cup your cheek.

“Hey… what’s wrong? Do you want to stop?” He asks so gently it almost hides the breathlessness in his voice.

You shake your head, letting out a shaky breath as you feel your body tensing in frustration. “No, I just… I don’t know what’s wrong,” you murmur. Suddenly, you feel a lump forming in your throat again, the stress from earlier mingling with the newfound frustration now.

“Babe,” he coos, the sudden nickname bringing your attention back to him. “We’ve never done this before. It’s okay if something doesn’t work out immediately.” His thumb brushes against your cheek tenderly, and leaning into his touch, you slowly start relaxing.

Jake slides his hands under your back, pulling you with him as he sits up and positions you on his lap without slipping out of you. You hold onto his arms again while you slowly sink down on his lap fully, gasping softly at how deep he reaches now. “Let’s try this,” he suggests, hands sliding down your back to your hips. He gently lifts you up a little before he guides you back down, shivers running over his body at the soft moan you let out.

“Just go with whatever feels good for you,” he says, voice so gentle you completely miss the way he’s losing his mind internally.

“But you–”

“Don’t worry about me, you feel perfect for me,” he reassures before you can voice your doubt.

So you start, going slowly, hesitantly at first, then a bit faster – this time quickly finding a rhythm that feels just right for both of you.

“Fuuuck,” Jake pants as his head falls back against the sofa and his fingertips bore a little harder into the flesh of your hips. Your hands weakly grab onto his shoulders for support as you feel the burn in your thighs intensify.

“Just a little longer, baby. Can you do that for me?” He asks when you slow down, lazily grinding on him rather than riding him. His voice is breathy – laced with a strange mix of exhaustion and lust that is enough to send shivers down your spine.

You nod tiredly, though you can’t fully register what he even asked for. His voice is muffled by the ringing in your ears; the only thing you can truly focus on is the way he fills you up so perfectly and how fresh waves of pleasure shoot through your entire body every time your clit rubs against his pelvis.

Jake lifts his head from the sofa to take a better look at your face, and if it didn’t boost his ego so much that your cheeks were flushed, your eyes almost teary and your lips slightly bruised from all the kissing, he would almost feel pity for you. 

“So pretty like that… Such a good girl for me,” he breathes, but his words don’t quite reach you. You let your head fall into the crook of his neck where every breath of yours covers his skin in goosebumps and every little whimper makes his cock twitch inside you.

You barely register how he tightens his grip on your hips until he holds you down firmly enough to stop your movements. Before you can even lift your head to look at him, he bucks his hips up, his tip kissing your cervix so deliciously that you can’t hold back a surprised moan as your nails dig deeper into the skin of his shoulders.

Jake’s eyes flutter shut at the way your walls clench around him. He rolls his hips into yours another time, leaning his head against the cushions again and relishing how good you feel around him, how your warm slick coats his length and drips down his thighs. 

His hands find their way to your ass, lifting you up just slightly, only to roughly push you down to meet his next thrust.

The world around him suddenly goes quiet – the sound of the TV playing in the background, even the quiet hum of the air conditioning that Jake always hears – none of these reach his ears anymore. The only thing he can focus on are your moans that echo off the walls, each of them only spurring him to make you feel better, to make you moan louder.

You can barely hear the string of curses he mutters under his breath, but his breathy whimpers pierce through the wall of pure pleasure, shooting straight to your core. Your legs feel numb, but the way he whines just a little louder and grabs your ass just a little tighter whenever he reaches so deep you’re sure you could see the bulge in your stomach if you had the strength to lift your head from his shoulder motivates you to keep going.

Jake moves one hand up to the back of your head, fisting some of your hair and pulling your head back so gently it’s almost endearing compared to his thrusts. “Keep your eyes on me, baby,” he mutters, holding back a moan at just the sight of your fucked out expression.

Your entire body is tingling, making it hard to not squeeze your eyes shut. “I said eyes on me,” Jake manages between whimpers, focusing his own gaze fully on your face. He can literally see how each snap of his hips brings you closer to release, and god does he love to see it. How he has you right where he wanted you for so long, how he can draw those pretty moans from you, how he doesn’t even need you under him to have full control over your pleasure.

“Jake,” his name rolls off your lips with a moan that makes his hips stutter, his jaw tensing as he tries to solely focus on not letting go just yet.

His hand slowly lets go of your hair and roams over your body, leaving goosebumps in its trace. He cups your breasts, gently squeezes your waist, places his hand on the small of your back to pull you impossibly closer until he finally settles for your clit. A small sigh escapes your lips when he starts to rub slow circles around the bud. You let your head fall on Jake’s shoulder again, strands of hair sticking to your forehead, your cheeks, covering your eyes that you shut tighter with each snap of his hips.

Jake feels his abdomen tighten, his thighs shaking as every thrust knocks the breath out of your lungs all over again. His fingertips dig deeper into your skin, relishing how fast your arousal covers his other hand and how each of your moans bring him closer to the edge.

A murmured “don’t stop,” is all you can muster as you feel the tension in your body reach the unbearable. The sensation makes your head spin – your clit throbbing under his touch, your walls clenching around him tighter and tighter and your skin tingling on every inch your bodies meet.

You can’t even warn him before your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave, leaving your body shaking and your nails digging into the skin of his shoulders.

“Fuck, I–” Jake cuts off, his eyes rolling back as he feels his cock twitching. He places both hands on your back, pulling your chest flush against his, so close that you can feel his heart beating rapidly against yours, as he finally allows himself to let go.

He lazily thrusts his hips up a few more times, not only riding out his own high but yours too, before he stops completely and lets his head fall back against the sofa again. Your heavy exhales hit Jake’s sweaty neck as you try to catch your breath, forcing another shiver down his spine. He lets his fingers brush up and down your back gently, waiting for both of your heartbeats to slow down while he softly murmurs words you’re still too far gone to understand.

Only when you slowly lift your head from his shoulder does he open his eyes to look at you. The corners of his lips curl up, offering a smile that feels so warm you almost don’t notice how your body temperature slowly begins to drop.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice ever so gentle although slightly hoarse, as one of his hands lets go of your back and instead moves up to your face to carefully brush your hair out of your face.

You reply with a short nod, tiredly reciprocating his smile. “I’m tired,” you mumble, which earns a soft chuckle from Jake.

“Shower or bath?” he asks, letting his hand rest on your cheek and softly brushing his thumb up and down your skin. You allow yourself to lean into his touch slightly, yet you pout your lips, “nothing.”

Smiling softly, Jake leans forward to press a light kiss against your forehead. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”

Jake drops his hands to your hips, slowly lifting you up once you exhale to carefully pull out of you. Only when he gently sets you down on the sofa do your legs stop shaking. “Good job,” he mumbles. Then, he pushes himself up from the sofa, picks up his sweatpants from the floor and quickly slides them on.

You watch him, gaze wandering over his bare back, the marks your nails left on his skin and the way his muscles slightly flex with each small movement, before he turns around with a soft smile and leaves the living room.

Your eyes are barely open when he comes back with a glass of water in one hand and a dampened washing cloth in the other. He hands you the glass with a soft smile, waiting for you to drink and placing it on the coffee table after. Then, he motions you to lay back with a gentle push against your shoulders. Placing his hands on each of your knees, he slowly spreads your legs apart to carefully clean you up.

The warm fabric feels soft and the way Jake wipes it over your sore skin ever so gently makes your heart flutter as the familiar warmth of just being around him spreads through your chest. Just as your eyes begin to close, the feeling of Jake’s soft lips against your forehead makes you open them again. He’s leaning over you, eyes and smile filled with something between warmth and fondness.

“You hungry?” he asks so quietly he might as well have whispered as he reaches out to gently tuck some strands of hair behind your ear.

Your tired eyes light up at the mention of food. “Can we order pizza?”

Jake nods with a chuckle. After finding his phone somewhere on the floor, he hands it to you. “Choose what you like, I’ll be right back, yeah?” Already invested in the options, you barely register Jake leaving the room again, until he returns with a shirt in his hand. You would have mistaken it for one of yours, if not for the bigger size and the unmistakable scents of his detergent and cologne as he carefully pulls it over your head and guides your arms through the sleeves.

“I always keep an extra one in my bag,” he explains before you can open your mouth to ask.

Trying to dismiss the bubbly feeling in your stomach, you nod in response and mouth a quick ‘thank you’. Jake offers another gentle smile, before taking his phone from your hands, choosing his food and placing the order. The two of you just wait in silence, you sitting on Jake’s lap, one of his hands around your waist to hold you close while he rubs soothing circles onto your back with the other.

After you finish your food – well, Jake’s food, simply because you liked it better than your own and he immediately switched the two boxes – he curls one arm around your waist and the other under your knees and picks you up to carry you to the bedroom where he gently lays you down on your bed before crawling in next to you.

As if it was second nature, his arms find their way around your body again, pulling you in and holding you so close it almost feels like he never wants to let you go again. And despite being too tired to really think about it, you can’t help but wish he means it.

“Jake?” His name rolls off your lips before you can stop it.

You feel his chest vibrate underneath your head as he hums in response. You hesitate for a bit, letting his slow breaths lull you in until you feel yourself drifting off and you barely register the confession you mumble right before sleep pulls you under.

“I really like you.”

The next morning, you wake up from a shiver running over your body. Eyes still shut, you scoot closer to Jake, expecting to be embraced by the warmth of his body, but his side feels even colder.  When you slowly open your eyes, you’re met by the bright sunlight that shines through your curtains, and an empty other half of the bed. You hold your breath for a moment, checking for any sounds coming from the bathroom or the kitchen, for quiet footsteps outside your room. But when you hear nothing, the apartment feeling more silent than ever before, you push the air out through your nose. 

Although your body feels heavy, your legs and core a little sore, you slowly sit up and reach for your phone on your nightstand. As soon as you grab it, your screen lights up with Jake’s name, the pile of messages he sent the day before, and one from only 43 minutes ago.

Jake: had to leave early for practice and didn’t wanna wake you up :( hope you slept well tho. you looked cute haha. text me when you’re awake?

Biting your lip to hold back a smile, your eyes skim over the previous messages – his question if you wanted to grab dinner after practice, his repeated attempts to ask if you’re okay, if you’re really just studying for so long, or if he did anything to upset you – before they land on the most recent message again. You quickly type your reply and hit send, before falling back into bed, pulling the blanket over your body and letting Jake’s scent take over your senses until you’re fully embraced by it.

When he responds just a little later than usual that day, you don’t think much of it. He tells you about practice, how he doesn’t have any bad bruises this time, and even sends you a picture for proof. You smile at his messages like you’re used to by now, and your heart does that little jump when he sends a voice note to wish you sweet dreams later that night.

Then, little by little, his replies begin to come later, his calls less frequently. He slowly replaces the occasional forehead kisses for kisses on your cheek, or sometimes, none at all. And although you try to shove it away, sometimes you can’t help but think about it. You begin to wonder whether his touch really feels a little less soft than usual, or if your mind is just playing games with you. If his message was intended to sound a bit colder, or if you’re reading too much into it.

He never brings up your quiet confession, and you don’t either, unsure if he even heard, when in reality the four words are constantly replaying in his mind. When you repeat them without saying them, just because your touch is so much softer than before. Because your eyes search for his more often, and the look in them makes his heart drop. And sometimes, when he keeps his hand around yours a bit longer, you allow yourself to think that he might not let go. You almost ask. But each time, he quickly pulls away, changing the topic as though he’s terrified of what could happen if he gives you enough time to think.

Yet, he’s still around. He still comes over after practice, still eats dinner with you, still checks in on you, and still stays when you’re studying. Just not as frequently, and seemingly not as whole-heartedly.

“This one looks painful,” you mumble, standing between Jake’s legs as you clean up a cut on his lips. He doesn’t reassure you that it’s fine. Instead, he just responds with a hum that sounds more indifferent than anything else. His breath flattens when you finish up by applying some of your favorite chapstick to his lips like you usually do, its familiar scent flooding his senses until all he can think about is how it tastes on your lips. And for a second, he seems like he might lean in. But then he stands up so rapidly that his forehead almost clashes with yours, mumbles a quick thank you, something about having to run errands, and rushes out of the door with nothing more than a short goodbye-kiss to your cheek.

Jake doesn’t send you his usual good night text that night – neither the night after. He stops coming over as much. Because he’s tired, busy, or already has plans. But when you tell him that you miss him, he still responds that he does too. Until he doesn’t respond at all.

You reassure yourself he’ll text tomorrow, but tomorrow turns into the day after tomorrow, and then into the day after that. Your follow-up message remains unanswered, and the next one stays a draft until you eventually erase it.

After that, you only see him once. He walks past you in the college hallways, so quickly that you have just enough time to catch a glimpse of the angry red bruise blooming right over his cheekbone. You almost turn around, almost call his name and reach out to ask if he’s okay, but he’s gone before you can second-guess it. And you don’t see him again until he rings at your door a few days later.

“Can we talk?”

Jake almost shoots the question at you, as if he’d forget it if he didn’t get it out fast enough. You look him up and down for a moment, silently wondering why, suddenly, he wants to talk, when he’s been so painfully obvious at avoiding you for what felt like an eternity.

At first, you don’t reply, stuck between having no words to say and having too many. A part of you wants to slam the door in his face, another one wants to hear him out, and despite the feeling of discomfort in your stomach, one part in the very back of your heart hopes that this somehow means something good. “About?”

“Us.”

You swallow lightly, yet it’s enough for Jake to register. When you step to the side to let him in, he hesitates for the blink of an eye. Then, he comes in, waits until you close the door, and hesitates again when you look at him expectantly, before he takes a deep breath in and finally speaks.

“I don’t know where this is leading, and I don’t know where you want this to lead.” He takes a break, eyes searching yours as if searching for the confession you’re not ready to make a second time.

You subconsciously pick at your nails as the silence seems to stretch the small space between you infinitely. Then, taking a deep, shaky breath, you break it. “If this is about the other night, we can just forget it.”

“Did you mean what you said?” He asks quickly, sternly, voice laced with a tone that tells you there’s no correct answer to the next question. “About liking me?” 

You hold his gaze for a while, trying to make out the emotion his brown orbs hide, but to no avail. So you lower your eyes before slowly nodding your head yes – and with each passing second in silence, the air only seems to thicken with tension.

“We should stop whatever this is,” he says with an unfamiliar coldness, as if he’s trying to prove there’s no room for argument – as if the lack of an answer wasn’t the answer already. And although meeting your expectation, the words still hit you like a punch to the gut, causing your head to snap up to look at him again, only to find nothing of the usual softness on his face.

You open your mouth to respond, but the words get stuck in your throat, clogging your airways until it feels hard to breathe. Jake’s eyes flicker down to his hands, observing his bruised knuckles, before he brings them back up and locks them with yours. 

“If you want more than this, we should stop,” he repeats matter of factly, eyes never leaving yours. “I can’t be the guy you need, much less deserve. I’m not gonna take you on nice dates or be there for you on call. It took me years getting to where I am now, and I’ll work harder to get where I want to be. I can’t do it halfway, Y/n. And I won’t choose you over boxing.”

“You should have thought about that before you started to act like my boyfriend.”

Jake’s eyes widen slightly at your words. He looks at you for a while, a hint of tension in his jaw, until he visibly gulps and lowers his gaze. “I didn’t mean to–”

“Oh, you didn’t?” Your interruption makes his eyes snap back to you, the sarcastic undertone in your voice drawing his brows together. “I thought you were sure when you started all this, my bad.”

“Listen, I wasn’t trying to mess with you,” Jake replies, the slight tremble in his voice mirroring the one in his hand as he runs it through his hair, pushing back some strands that fall right over his eyes again the second he lets go. 

“It just didn’t feel that casual to me,” you mumble, unsure if he hears, or if you even meant for him to. 

But his eyes widen again, a wave of something similar to panic washing over his face. “It wasn’t casual,” he defends, almost stumbling over his own words from how fast he spits them out. And for a second, you allow a spring of hope to bloom in your chest, allow yourself to breathe – until his words snatch the air away from you once more.

“I just can’t give you more.”

You look at him, eyes boring into his as if you could find a glimmer of something else behind them. Something that tells you he doesn’t mean it, that he’ll change his mind. But he stays silent, just holding eye contact for a moment before breaking away from it.

“Right,” you say quietly, but Jake still catches the way your voice cracks a little, and he swears his heart does the same when you continue, “you could just give me enough until I slept with you.”

“Huh?” He exclaims almost a little too loudly, taking a step forward to reach out to you, simply because he lacks ideas of what else to do – but you quickly step back, eyes shooting up to his in a way that tells him to keep his distance.

“Y/n, that’s not true.”

“Well, the shoe fits,” you reply, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

He shakes his head, clenching his hands into fists to refrain from reaching out again. “That’s not true,” he repeats.

“If it wasn’t casual, what was it then?”

Your question comes quietly, but surprisingly stable. You hold Jake’s eyes, even when your throat starts burning from how tight it feels and you really want to look away just to hide the tears that you feel pricking at your eyes. But you don’t have to, because Jake is the first to look away, eyes wandering to the side to look right past you and thinning his lips as though keeping them sealed.

“Okay. Got it.”

And with that, you open the front door again and tilt your head toward it to wordlessly signal him to leave.

“Dude,” Sunghoon groans frustratedly as Jake barely dodges another punch the younger throws at him. “You’re slower than a sloth,” he continues, but Jake doesn’t reply – just stumbles back a step to avoid another hit.

“That girl still taking up all your focus?”

Jake’s eyes dart up immediately, eyebrows pulling together and lips parting ever so slightly, yet he doesn’t say a word. Instead, he steps forward, aiming for his friend’s ribs. Blocking the blow with his arm, Sunghoon’s lips curl up to a grin that tells Jake he’s simply trying to get any type of reaction from him.

“The one you were desperately trying to reach a few weeks ago, if you remember,” he clarifies unnecessarily, voice laced with mocking innocence, as if Jake could have forgotten who he means. 

“We’re not talking anymore,” he replies finally, voice tight enough to show he’s not willing to talk about it.

“But you’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” Sunghoon presses with another question that earns him a quick but sharp punch to the gut instead of an answer. He winces at first, but the initial cough from the air being pushed out of his lungs violently soon turns into an amused chuckle.

“Take that as a yes,” he mumbles before collecting himself and standing up straight despite the dull pain in his stomach. “Then she must have been really clingy. Or a really good fuck.”

Jake clenches his jaw tightly, the line between his brows deepening further. “Stop speaking about her like that.”

“You didn’t deny it,” Sunghoon replies, not even trying to hide the grin on his face as he watches Jake practically imploding.

“Shut up,” he growls, “that’s not how it was.”

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, replacing his  teasing look with a more serious one. “How was it then?”

Jake’s face slowly relaxes, the tension disappearing little by little until there’s nothing left of it. He opens his mouth, closes it, and repeats the process once more before he slowly lowers his gaze to the floor and takes a deep breath.

“I don’t know. Good. She felt good to be around. Calming, if that makes sense. She seemed comfortable and just herself with me, and…” 

Sunghoon doesn’t reply, just hums to tell the older to keep going.

“I’m probably making that up, but I think sometimes she smiled a bit more when I was around and then my heart did that thing and it made me want to make her smile forever?”

“And how did you mess up?”

The question causes Jake to look up again, cluelessly blinking at his friend.

“You said you’re not talking anymore,” Sunghoon continues, “but it sounds like she really liked you. So: How did you mess up?”

“She does like me!” Jake exclaims so quickly he almost stumbles over his own words. “Or… did. I don’t know. I told her I can’t give her more than that and she got it all wrong, talking about how I could give her just enough until she slept with me and–”

“Woah, hold on,” Sunghoon interrupts with one hand held up, “I know you’re not an asshole, why are you acting like one?”

Jake doesn’t reply at first, just replays his friend’s question over and over in his mind.

“I just… look, she deserves the world, okay? And I’m just so caught up in boxing, and I need to focus if I wanna go pro.”

Again, Sunghoon’s eyebrow shoots up. “She ‘deserves the world’, so you go give her nothing? Doesn’t sound logical to me.”

“But making this professional has been my goal for years and–”

“I know. Did she make you choose?”

Jake hesitates, then slowly shakes his head.

“So you just freaked out.”

“I didn’t freak out.”

“I’ve known you for years now, and as your friend I feel entitled to tell you that 99% of the time you’re the epitome of freaking out,” Sunghoon deadpans. “Do you have feelings for her?”

Jake gives Sunghoon a look that somehow says everything  and nothing at once, and it’s just enough for the younger to understand.

“You’re in love with her.”

Jake hesitates, holding his breath for just a second, before pushing the air out with a sigh. Then, he slowly nods. “I am.”

“Then why’d you drop her, dumbass?” Sunghoon asks, throwing his head back with exaggerated frustration. But Jake just slips through the ropes of the ring and rips off his gloves – completely oblivious to the fact that, just around the corner, with his words echoing in your mind, you’re holding a little tighter onto the shirt you intended to give back to him. 

Diploma in one hand, you wince at the pain in your heels as you slowly push through the crowd of people. You’re almost at the exit, eager to catch some fresh air after what felt like hours of ceremony, when a soft tap on your shoulder makes you turn around. And suddenly the noise around you fades, as though the world stopped for a moment.

You look at Jake, his own diploma in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other, and your breath catches in your throat when he slowly reaches out to hand it to you. Goosebumps erupt on your hand, shooting up your arm and down your spine, when his fingers softly brush yours as you hesitantly take the flowers from his hand.

“Congratulations,” Jake mumbles so quietly you don’t catch it, just reading it off his lips. He wants to tell you that he knew you’d make it, that he’s proud of you, that he hopes you’re proud of yourself, too. That he misses you to a point where it hurts, and that just seeing you again made his heart skip several beats. But the words stay on the tip of his tongue, slowly evaporating into thin air with every second he doesn’t get them out.

“Congrats to you too. Didn’t think you’d graduate, given you don’t have time for Plan B,” you manage, although the words taste bitter, feel forced, and make Jake gulp visibly. But he notices the soft look on your face, the apology in your eyes that contrasts the harsh tone of your voice, and he knows that you’re not really trying to hurt him – just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt first. 

He stays silent for a while, pulling his lower lip between his teeth, and releasing it again before responding. “Well, someone once told me that getting beat up for my dreams isn’t a solid career plan.”

Before you can help it, the corners of your lips twitch just a little, barely enough for Jake to see the faintest hint of a smile. 

“Oh, and you listened to that someone?”

“Only ‘cause that someone is special… and definitely not Plan B,” he says with a shrug that looks way too forced to make it appear casual. 

You absentmindedly tighten your grip around the flowers, wanting to snap back a reply to hide that the walls you’ve been building around yourself aren’t so stable after all – but your mind blanks. 

And Jake swears he would take the snarkiest remark, but your silence and the insecure look on your face makes his chest tighten uncomfortably.

“Anyway, you should go celebrate with your family and–”

“They didn’t come,” you interrupt with a shake of your head.

“Huh?” He surprisedly raises his eyebrows.

“My family didn’t make it. Too much work, or no flights, or whatever,” you shrug, slightly shifting from one foot to the other as if that could loosen the tension you feel creeping up your spine.

“Do you wanna join mine?” He blurts out before he can stop himself. “It’s… nothing fancy, just dinner. You should come.”

This time, it’s your eyebrows that shoot up. “Excuse me?”

“You should come.”

For a while, you just look at him. Take in the hint of hope on his face, the way he slightly raises his eyebrows in anticipation, and the way he starts fumbling with the diploma in his hand. And you try hard to ignore how your chest warms at the simple habit of his that somehow makes you realize just how much you missed him. 

“Did you mean it?” The words come out before you think about it, surprising both of you.

Jake furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “What? Of course. You shouldn’t be alone today.”

“No, I mean… Did you mean it when you said you were in love with me?”

You watch as his eyes widen and his adam’s apple pops up and down as he gulps. He opens his mouth, but you beat him to it. “I was going to return your shirt, and I guess I overheard your conversation. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, you guys just don’t know how to talk in normal volume.”

Jake looks at you with a face that doesn’t quite give away what he’s thinking – something like a strange mix of shock, relief, and uncertainty. Face paling, he waits and waits for the realization to settle, searches for things to say, but suddenly it feels like he lost all the words he once knew.

“I… Yeah, I meant it,” he begins slowly. “I didn’t realize it before– I mean, honestly, I did. I knew I liked you, but–”

“You freaked out,” you interrupt, trying to imitate Sunghoon’s tone of voice, but you can’t help the hint of sadness coating your words.

Jake reciprocates your half-smile for a second, then he nods with a sigh.

“I did freak out. Listen, I’m sorry for the way I left things, and I know sorry isn’t gonna make it better magically, but…” He trails off and lowers his head. “You mean a lot more to me than I showed you, and I’d like to prove that to you at least today.”

You gulp as if that could help you get rid of the lump that has been forming in your throat the second you turned around and faced him. And despite it getting only harder to breathe when his eyes find yours, you don’t look away this time. Instead, you let his gaze steal the air from your lungs little by little as you keep searching for the slightest hint of insincerity. But even as seconds turn into what feels like an eternity, you find nothing that makes you doubt he means it. So you slowly nod.

“Fine. But only ‘cause I really want dinner,” you give in, and although you try to sound stern, you can’t help but mirror Jake when his lips curl up just a little.

When Jake introduces you to his family, you learn that he’s been talking about you – ‘once or twice’, according to him, and ‘the entire fucking time’, according to his brother. Your eyes shoot to Jake, who just scratches his neck sheepishly, but the honesty in his look makes it hard for you to really shrug it off. 

He stays close to you throughout the entire evening. Wherever you’re walking, his hand hovers over the small of your back just enough to prove he’s there without really touching you – and during dinner he sits next to you, perfectly distanced for your legs to not brush against each other’s but so you can still feel the warmth of his body. And although his family includes you into the conversation just perfectly, he occasionally nudges your shoulder and looks at you with a questioning look to make sure you feel okay.

When you bid goodbye to his parents and brother later that night, you’re so busy thinking about how oddly comfortable you feel, that you don’t notice how Jake struggles to hide the oh so evident adoration in his eyes. The need to keep you close. But he swears that even if you decide you never want to see him again after this night, the soft smile on your face is enough for him, as long as he was the one who painted it there.

He insists on walking you up to your apartment, hand itching to reach for yours, but he quickly shoves it in the pocket of his dress pants. Once you stand in front of your door, you hesitate to look for your key. Instead, you turn around to face him.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you say quietly, offering him a tiny smile that he immediately reciprocates. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” he replies so gently your knees almost buckle just at that.

“Well, I told you I really wanted dinner,” you try to joke, but your voice sounds far more charged. Jake smiles nonetheless.

For a while, you just stand there, looking at him without feeling like you’re drowning. You can almost see it on his face how he wants to take a step closer, but refuses to give in to it. And despite everything, you’re the one to do that instead. Jake’s breath flattens as he looks down to you, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between you, but he doesn’t move – doesn’t back away either when you slowly bring your hands up to his jacket and pull him down until your lips almost touch.

He gulps as he reaches for your waist with shaky hands to pull you in more, trying to ignore the way his heart skips a beat once he feels your body against his. And when you slowly angle your head up to close whatever distance was left between you, the goosebumps that erupt on his body almost make him shudder. His fingers dig into your waist softly, almost like he’s trying to remind himself that you’re real, while his lips gently move against yours in a way that makes you feel like he never left. 

Nearly overwhelmed by the feeling, you allow yourself to melt into his touch until you slowly, almost reluctantly, pull away for air. Jake’s breath brushes your lips as he gently rests his forehead against yours, eyes still closed.

“Fuck, I’m so in love with you,” he mutters, not even registering the words until he said them. 

When he feels you tensing just slightly, he quickly takes a step back. “Sorry, I–... You don’t have to say it back, I just– sorry I shouldn’t have said that,” he stumbles over his own words, only stopping his ramble when you take a step forward again and tenderly place one hand on his chest. Then, you curl your fingers around the fabric of his shirt just enough to pull him in again. 

You kiss him so softly it proves not only that you feel the same, but also that you’re not yet ready to really tell him again. That you want to let him in, but still make sure he keeps one foot out the door. And for now, that’s enough for Jake. 

His touch is gentle when his hands cup your face, thumbs carefully sweeping over your cheeks as he pulls away the second time.

“You mean a lot to me, Y/n,” he confesses, intentionally this time, steadily, although his voice shakes a bit. “I’m sorry I ever made you think otherwise.”

Your heart squeezes not only at his words, but the way they feel more genuine than anything he’s ever told you before. And you can’t help the soft smile when you look right into his eyes again and find nothing but endearment and honesty.

“You did prove that to me today,” you mumble, smiling a little brighter at the evident relief on his face.

“Will you let me prove it again?” He asks tentatively, the glimmer of hope in his voice making you chuckle softly.

“I’ll see.”

© dazzlingjaeyun, 2025. please do not copy.

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[minhaemin]

BE THERE FOR YOU, PSH

SYNOPSIS : You love your two best friends with your whole heart. The three of you have been inseparable since middle school, bound by laughter, secrets, and a promise to always stand by each other through thick and thin. So why does a strange, bitter feeling rises in your stomach every time they laugh a little too loudly together, their eyes meeting in ways that make you feel like the outsider? You try to shake it off. It's nothing. Right?

Or in which you're stuck in a love triangle with your two best friends.

• PAIRING: Park Sunghoon x afab!reader

• WORD COUNT: 18.4k

• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university setting, angst, hurt/comfort, friends to ?, love triangle, slow burn (kdrama level slow, sorry I got carried away), slice of life, feeling isolated, mental illness (refer warnings section), emotional baggage, unrequited love, found family, miscommunication, alcohol, mentions of thunderstorms, Original character named Soojin, reader-insert, reader's hair are long enough to be tucked behind ears, Sunghoon is taller comparatively.

• WARNINGS: HEAVY angst, feeling isolated and ignored, imposter syndrome, depression, anxiety, self doubt, fear of failure, unhealthy habits, ED, emotional drainage, existential crisis, hospitalization (not reader), IV drops, depiction of blood on reader and Sunghoon, reader gets injured, attempted suicide x 2, depiction of character's death and funeral, unrequited love, hurt more than comfort, spiraling, Sunghoon gets wasted, no smut, slightly suggestive, let me know if I missed any.

• AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first full length fic, please leave feedback. I'm trying to get out of my years long writer's block. Like, reblog and comment would be appreciated. It feels nice to get back to writing. I hope you'll enjoy reading it♡ Happy reading♡

The cold winter wind nipped at your skin, you clutch your hands together. Your eyes drifted across the campus, a scowl surfacing on your face. You were waiting for Sunghoon and Soojin to meet at your usual hangout place in the campus, the common sitting area outside of the university's far right building. Few of the students occupied the area, some completing their works, others hanging around with their friend group.

Jake snickered from where he was sitting in front of you, pushing up his god-awful glasses with his one hand while he sipped his "deathpresso"- the infamous 7-shot espresso, as you liked to call it. You shot him a glare, leaning your back on the bench as Jay wrapped his hand around your shoulder, bringing your body closer to his, you obliged ofcourse, seeking solace in the warmth his body provided. Heeseung was sitting on your other side, giving absolutely zero fucks about his surrounding as he typed away his essay like his life depended on it (it was due tomorrow and he just started).

"These classes are draining the life out of me," Soojin sighed dramatically as if she wasn't one of the top students at her program, she removed the scarf wrapped around her neck and placed it neatly around yours and gave it a gentle tug. "I always need to look after you, why did you forget your scarf again?" She made herself comfortable beside Jake, your eyes lingered on Sunghoon who steadily walked towards your friend circle and sat on the unoccupied place beside Soojin. You smiled sheepishly at her as you watched Sunghoon button up her coat all the way up to safeguard her from the harsh winter breeze.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," You started but Sunghoon gave you a tight look which screamed disappointment rather than anger. "Yet again?" He raised an eyebrow, shutting you up completely. You look down pouting, the air around felt heavier as his eyes weighed you down. "I was thinking of throwing a party this year for my birthday," Jay expectantly looked at everyone, successfully diverting the topic, as he slipped his hand off your shoulder.

"You? Party? I think I've seen everything in my life now," Jay threw a crumpled piece of paper in Jake's direction as soon as those words slipped past his mouth.

This has been your life from the past three semesters, Jake and Jay's constant bickering coupled with Heeseung's struggle of keeping up with his 'academically challenging' classes. When you, Sunghoon and Soojin first decided to take admission in Decelis, you thought it would be just you three against the world like it has always been but now as you sit here surrounded by three more people who decided to take comfort in your little trio you wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Yeah that sounds like a well needed break before the summer exams kick our ass," Sunghoon laughed, "right?" He glanced towards Soojin expecting her to answer back but her silence made everyone's focus shift towards her. Your eyebrows pulled together as you noticed her drifting off from reality again, "Soojin," You called out making her flinch, she met your eyes before she looked towards Sunghoon who was now facing towards her with raised eyebrows. She laughed awkwardly as she half heartedly agreed to whatever question Sunghoon asked which she did not even listen to.

"Are you okay? If you're not feeling well we can leave," Soojin looked around at others before declining Sunghoon's words. Sunghoon sighed deeply as he tucked her hair behind her ear, looking into her eyes as if to reconfirm and she nodded her head, taking his hand in her hand and holding it tightly. There it was, the sickening feeling inside your stomach, back again as you looked at their intertwined hands. You swallowed the lump which began to form in your throat, inhaling deeply as you tore your eyes away from them.

Which proved to be a wrong move because your eyes landed on a certain boy with his god-awful glasses, who somehow was already looking at you as if he could see right through you. He sipped his espresso while throwing you a look of 'this-is-the-nth-time-I've-caught-you-giving-that-downbad-look-towards-your-long-time-bestfriend.' Your shoulders slumped, he scoffed, breaking eye contact and made a dramatic show of standing, gaining everyone's attention, even Heeseung's.

"I think I'm done for today guys," He smiled, narrowing his eyes at his three roommates. Jake, Jay, Sunghoon and Heeseung decided it would be better to live together after constantly struggling to find better housing separately outside of the campus as they refused to stay inside the campus dorms and Jay was more than happy to welcome the "Roofless Rizzlers" in his apartment. Jay stood up joining Jake while Heeseung started packing his belongings. He gave you a quick side hug before walking towards Soojin, ruffling her hair as he asked Sunghoon, "You coming?"

"You guys go ahead, I'll walk Soojin towards her dorm building first," Heeseung nodded, already expecting Sunghoon's answer before the words left his mouth and made his way towards the other boys patiently waiting for him. Your eyes followed them till they disappeared completely out of your sight. You stood up, adjusting the scarf Soojin placed around your neck, taking a few steps ahead and kneeling in front of where she was sitting. "Do you need me to stay with you today?" You softly caressed her hand as concern clouded your eyes, mimicking Sunghoon's.

She sighed like she carried the weight of the world around her shoulders, and maybe she really did. Every heavy breath, every soft sigh that escaped her cherry lips indicated the turmoil she carried deep within her very being. You guessed that's the price you need to pay when you're too good at what you do. As far as you remember Soojin has been an ideal daughter, teacher's favorite, a helping hand for fellow students, and a shoulder you and Sunghoon have constantly cried on. She's perfect, much like her long hair which sways with wind as if it flows just to touch her.

At one point of your life you thought nothing could get better than it already was for her, she was always at the center of the little bubble she had created, till that bubble shattered. The pieces stung your heart equally as it did to your hand when you plucked large fragments of glass from her wrist. Sunghoon frantically called the ambulance. Soojin had tried taking her own life in her room when her parents were away from the town.

Maybe it was a mother's instinct, maybe it was God's will as her grandmother said, when Soojin's mother called you, worried as she asked you to stay with Soojin that unfortunate night. You agreed, already texting Sunghoon to come join at the impromptu sleepover, you both wanted to surprise her but it was you who got surprised instead when you found her unconscious but still breathing in her room.

That night the ride towards the hospital was as chilling as the weather today, that night as Sunghoon and you sat beside each other covered in blood outside of the operation room, you made a promise to be there for Soojin, to take care of her, to prioritize her well being over your own needs and wants. You cried as the nurse tended your wounded hand, Sunghoon just sat beside you holding you close wondering if you were crying because of the injury or the sheer shock of it all.

You were teenagers then, you're adults now. But the feelings you felt that day were as clear as the morning sky mid-summer. And that feeling was creeping back upon you once again as you paid more attention towards Soojin. Her parents, grandparents, you and Sunghoon did everything you could do to help Soojin cope. Therapy, family trips, friends outing, you name it. Everyone was desperate to help her find her light again. You never talked about the suicide note you found in her room to anyone, not even Sunghoon, at her own request. It's still neatly folded and well kept at the far corner of your closest. You never read it but daily prayed to the universe that it will disappear in thin air somehow.

"I'll meet you guys tomorrow," You three were standing in front of her dorm building now. You bid her goodbye and watched as she made her way towards her designated floor. From the corner of the building Lia, Soojin's roommate, made her way towards you, a flicker of recognition and a smile of acknowledgement graced her lips as she patted your shoulder, "Don't worry, I got you guys, I'll call if she'll need you." The dorm selection happened on merit basis and you were second on the waiting list. You had to stay outside of the campus, life would've been easier if you were living with Soojin.

Sunghoon is silent beside you as you make your way towards the apartment you stay in. The sidewalk is draped with snow, it gleams with a slippery sheen in the soft evening light. You take a cautious glance towards the man you've come to recognize as your childhood best friend as you continue walking. Although things have changed significantly from how they were before, you're glad that Sunghoon's habit of walking you home never did.

Ever since the incident with Soojin, he has taken it upon himself to always be available for her, or maybe he takes care of her so feverishly because feels he needs to. Doesn't matter if his classes end early or late, if he's free or busy, he's by Soojin's side way before anyone else. You think maybe that's the reason you, even though you still wake up in the middle of the night by the nightmares, still sleep a little bit more soundly than he ever could.

He catches your eyes before you could tear it off of him, "why are you so forgetful, you know I've to be more focused on Soojin," He's nagging again, it's like a clockwork at this point, most of his thoughts begins and ends with her, you aren't even sure where Sunghoon ends and where Soojin begins. Perhaps you forget things because you want to see if he would care just as much if it were you in her place, you think you got your answers now.

You just look at him, your mind drifting towards the promise you made with each other for Soojin's sake. It was you who suggested that promise so why did it sting this so bad now? The bitter taste lingering in your mouth, why won't it go away easily? Since when did taking care of your ill-friend turned into a silent competition for you to have Sunghoon's attention? You're ruining everything you've worked hard to build, Soojin needs you both more than anything. You're pulled back to reality by Sunghoon as he tugs at your scarf, you silently glare at him as he begins taking off his gloves and putting it inside his coat's pocket.

A soft gasp leaves your lips before you could stop, his hands warm in comparison to your stiff and numb ones. He held your hands with such tenderness as if they would break if he didn't handle them carefully. He cradled your small hands in with his larger one, softly blowing warm air into them. His eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed, completely immersed into the small act like there was nothing more significant than this moment. He pulled back, not before placing a gentle kiss on your connected hands, he exhaled, you shuddered.

"Try to look after yourself more," His voice was barely audible, like he was talking to himself more than you, "please? For me?" And who are you to deny when he looked at you as if it physically pained him to even think about you being in pain. He reached for his pocket again, slipping his gloves onto your bare hands. His eyes traced the path from your glove-covered hands to your eyes, "you'll do that for me yeah?" He waited till you nodded your head, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

He moved closer, tucking your hair behind the ear before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. You inhaled a sharp breath, the sky exhaled out the snowflakes.

Jay called you early in the morning in order to prepare for his birthday celebration, you had a clear schedule which Jay wanted to take advantage of. Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon weren't present in their apartment as they have classes, Soojin would tag along with them after her class ends. You're helping Jay with the decorations, a displeased look painted on your face, "what are we? 10?" You skeptically side-eye your dear friend who was happily helping you stick a giant banner of 'Happy Birthday to me: the man, the myth, the majesty,' written in bold.

His signature cheeky, roblox-styled grin graced his face, he blew you a kiss before hugging your waist. "You love me anyway," You did your best to fight the urge to roll your eyes at him today, ruffling his hair lightly as you finished sticking the banner. Both of you look around the decorations you did. It was funny how Jay was helping you with his own birthday party. "Is the cake ready? Did you call the bakery? Let's buy drinks on the way back." Jay nodded at your words, already searching for his car keys as you grabbed your phone for a long day ahead of you.

"I'll get ready in Sunghoon's room," you informed as you made your way towards the stairs, Jay walking in front of you. Exhaustion creeped upon you due to all the preparations, you wonder how Jay managed to not even break a sweat the whole day, probably too excited since it was his day today. You entered Sunghoon's room which he shared with Jake, all of your belongings neatly placed beside his desk. You took a few essentials and made your way towards the attached bathroom deciding that a quick shower won't hurt you as they still had an hour at least to return from their classes.

You smiled to yourself, feeling a bit cheerful after taking a shower, getting dressed quickly and deciding to do your hair and makeup after they arrive. You sat on his desk chair, eyes mindlessly roaming around the room. You've been here countless times, still you feel a bit flustered being here alone with your thoughts. You decided irritating Jay would be a better option until others arrive. "Are you done getting ready?" You called Jay out from outside his room, a muffled 'leave me alone, I need to prepare to look my best' was all you heard in return.

Pouting, you made your way back towards Sunghoon's room, leaning against the doorframe in boredom, thinking of ways to entertain yourself for time being when your eyes landed on a hoodie sprawled below Sunghoon's bed. "Seriously?" You shook your head as you grabbed it to put it in the laundry basket when your eyes landed on two boxes, a red one fully closed, another black one half opened lying beneath the bed. They say curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction entered the chat as you sat on the floor to see what was inside it.

And maybe your mother was right when she said curiosity will lead to your downfall one day, because as you open the black box you were surprised to see it was filled with polaroids of Sunghoon and Soojin, planned and candid ones, on different occasions dating back from middle school till university, some cute keychains, few charms, and a bracelet which you don't recognize from your memory.

Silence grew heavy on your shoulders as you looked throughout the pictures, almost all of them were clicked when all three of you hung out, hell, some of the pictures were captured by you but there was no sign of you in any of the polaroids, you exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding before keeping the box where it was. You stood up, dragging your feet towards Jake's bed and sat down, mind going haywire with all the thoughts and feelings you were suddenly bombarded with.

You did it upon yourself truthfully, if only you knew how to not snoop your nose in every single matter. A voice at the back of your head nagged at you, calling you stupid, about how you were just third wheeling in their relationship, about how their life would've been better if you weren't a part of it. Another voice chimed in, this one a little bit softer as it reminded you that those two are your best friends, they love you, they aren't isolating you from their lives, that they deserve to share a special bond with each other as much as you do with each of them.

You reluctantly decided to do your hair and makeup in order to escape from your feelings. Others will be arriving soon and you didn't want your feelings to get the best of you and ruin your friend's birthday. And as you got ready for the party, eye glassy as you bite back your tears, you swore to not fall in love with Sunghoon and be an obstacle in his happiness. You refused to let your negativity win, Soojin deserves the happiness only Sunghoon could bring in her life.

The music was blaring through the speaker and the crowd was alive, every corner of the room echoed with life and laughter. The air was a bit suffocating but it vibrated with full joy. The cameras were flashing, the laughter of your friends drowned into the night's symphony. The celebration continued, each of your friends giving their 'unsolicited advice,' and words of encouragement to the birthday boy. You sat on the couch beside Jake, who was already half drunk, his head on your shoulder as he mumbled incoherent facts about fishes.

"Something is bothering you," Jake's voice was nothing more than a whisper as he looked up at you. "Nothing is bothering me," you reasoned with him. Jake has always been someone who was able to see right through your acts and while you were great at hiding things and pretending to be fine, Jake somehow always catches you right in the act.

"If that nothing goes by the name of Sunghoon then I'll agree," Your eyes widened at his remark and even though he was only whispering you wouldn't risk anyone hearing it. "Seriously Jake, it's not what you think," Jake shook his head dismissing your words completely. "He deserves to know how you feel, you know, something about all that friends don't keep secrets and shit."

"I don't think that's a good idea, plus Soojin and him seem to be more comfy with each other since past few years anyway," you smiled bitterly as those words left your mouth and thankfully Jake chose not to intervene further and you silently thanked him for that. Maybe the alcohol finally got him, you weren't ready to have this conversation today anyway. You weren't sure how long you'll be able to hold onto these feelings but you needed to get rid of them for Soojin and Sunghoon's sake.

You scanned the room, many people left, leaving only close friends behind. Jay greeted the last guest goodbye, barely able to stand as Sunghoon balanced his weight. Even when he was shit-faced drunk, the gentleman knew his etiquette well. Now only the boys, you and Soojin were left, Jake still by your side, and you still haven't decided if you want to crash out here or go home.

"Let's watch a movie," You don't really comprehend who said that but you sighed in relief when everyone else just groaned in return. Soojin sat beside you, her arms crossed trying her best to fight back sleep, you chuckled at her state before giving her temple a kiss which immediately brought a smile on her face, Sunghoon sat beside Soojin. Jay and Heeseung sat on each of the love-seat respectively.

"I'm so tired, I just want to sleep forever," You might have to agree with Jay on this one. Sunghoon put his hand at the back of the couch, his actions prompting Soojin to put her head on his shoulder with practiced ease, like the place was meant for her to rest, like she knew everytime Sunghoon opened his arms, it was for her to find home. Jake was almost half asleep on you, your head buzzing in the aftermath of all the noise and screams. You tilt your head to rest against the couch, very much aware of Soojin softly complaining to Sunghoon about feeling tired after all the classes, then party, and how she'll have to go back to the dorms.

Sunghoon listened to every word escaping from her lips, smiling softly at her state. Soojin always complained about things but would go to the moon and back if it meant she'll get a single smile from her friends. You sighed, maybe going back to your apartment was genuinely a better idea. The constant train of thoughts inside your head broke when a hand slid below your head from where it was resting against the couch.

You looked to the side to see Sunghoon still talking with Soojin and occasionally with Heeseung and Jay, but his hand cradled your head as he soothingly traced circles on your head, his fingers tangled in your hair. And your attention should be on Soojin truthfully, given how overstimulated she feels while being constantly surrounded by people but your mind was hyper-aware of the way Sunghoon gently massaged your head, how gentle his fingers were.

His hand moved towards your ear, gave it a gentle tug before mindlessly tracing patterns on it. He was still talking with Heeseung about some dumb movie they watched last week. His touch continued, alternating between your head, ear and then back of your neck and you couldn't help but lean more into his hand. Somewhere deep down in your gut you knew you were doomed but you were glad he didn't stop with his touch either.

You flickered the light switch of your apartment on, Soojin making her way towards your bathroom to get fresh. You offered Soojin to stay the night at your place since it was way too late for her to go back to the dorms. You texted Sunghoon that you reached your apartment, took an oversized shirt and sweatpants from the closet and put it on bed for Soojin to wear. After Soojin was done, you did your own nightly routine, changing into comfy clothes, ready to sleep.

"I'll bring water for you," You smiled at Soojin who was already halfway into the dreamland and made your way to the kitchen. You checked your phone to see Sunghoon's reply, a simple 'call me when you can' glaring back at you. You checked the time, 03:00 AM, shrugging you decided to call him anyway. He picked up after two rings.

"Is she asleep?" You rolled your eyes at his voice, "what happened to hello? How are you?" You could picture his exaggerating sigh just as you heard it, "hello beautiful, why aren't you sleeping yet? Is Soojin asleep?" You turned back to take a look inside your bedroom, "Yeah, she's asleep." You slowly shut the bedroom door close so as to not disturb her sleep.

"Why? What's up?" You bit your lips as you sat on your couch waiting for him to answer, "I noticed she's been out of it for sometime, I'm worried about her," You exhaled a deep breath, adjusting your position on the couch as you listened Sunghoon recalling about the instances where Soojin would randomly zone out, get easily irritated and overwhelmed, tale-tell sign of her having troubles with her thoughts again.

You hummed in agreement, heart racing, fist clenching as you told him about your observations during your usual hangouts. You prayed the phase she was in would go away quickly, the summer exams were fast approaching and you knew she would be too sensitive during those phases, pulling all-nighters, not eating properly, ignoring everyone. That's how she gets when stressful situations arrive in her life. You have been used to it by now and you both try your best to be there for her during such times to make things easier for her. Sometimes risking your own grades just for her sake.

"Well....staying by her side and keeping an eye on her is all we can do for now," That was a no-brainer and Sunghoon didn't need you to voice out your answer to know you agree with him. "You've been helping Jay since morning, why aren't you asleep yet? You need proper rest for your body to function the next day, trouble." "Yeah, yeah...I know, I'll go to sleep now," you softly yawned.

"Okay, good night, take care of her and of yourself so that I can sleep peacefully, okay?" You nodded before realizing he can't hear you, "I will hoon, try not to stay awake so late at night too, this isn't your first time, you're making me worried sick too, you know." Sunghoon sighed before reluctantly agreeing with you. He knows he gets lost inside his head one too many times, he's aware you and Soojin try your best to pull at the threads of the maze his head creates. And he is trying his best, he swears to it, to be strong for both of you, especially for Soojin since her attempt. You bid your goodbye and make your way towards your bedroom to finally let sleep consume you.

The crisp morning light falls directly on your face, you groan, not yet ready to face the next day. You toss and turn before draping your hand and leg over Soojin's body, your head nuzzling at the crook of her neck. The touch of her lips on your head is featherlight as she sleepily holds your body closer to hers. "Morning sleepyhead," you whine in protest, hugging her body more closely, "don't wanna," Soojin laughs as her fingers thread through your hair, massaging your head lightly as her soft humming fills your ears.

For a moment your thoughts drift back to last night when Sunghoon's fingers were tangled in your hair before you felt yourself drifting off again. You could get used to this mornings, waking beside Soojin, freshening up and then preparing and eating breakfast together, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Maybe sometimes Sunghoon would join too, you and Sunghoon would bicker and Soojin would try her best to resolve the issue. Sleepovers with them were your favorite amongst everything.

"Move in with me," you didn't even move an inch, feeling utterly comfortable while cuddling with your best friend. "Why? Does my baby feel alone?" Even though there was a hint of teasing in Soojin's voice, she knew how lonely it gets to live alone. When you didn't answer back she just sighed, adjusting her position a little bit to get more comfortable, "how about next semester? Would you like that?"

"For real?" If the excitement wasn't detectable from your voice, the wide grin plastered on your face gave it away. Soojin just laughed, removing strands of hair sticking on your forehead as she nodded, "I've thought about it, you can't cook properly, I can't watch you eat unhealthy food on daily basis, I'll cook home-cooked meals for you, in return you wash the dishes, just like we always planned." You looked at her, still unsure but excited nonetheless, "we can watch as many movies as we want, I'll wash your hair when you don't feel like it, you'll help me do my homework when I get stuck on it. You won't have to worry about my health issues, I will always keep you entertained. Sounds like a plan."

Soojin sighed as she listened to you rambling about all the things you would do, how you'll throw a welcome party with the boys. You chatted and she paid attention to every word that left your mouth, throwing hums of appreciation and a few words to add to your neverending list of things you would do when she would move in. You both got fresh, made and ate breakfast together, cleaned the dishes and were now sprawled on your couch watching a newly released drama series.

"It has been a while since you and I spent time like this, right?" You tossed the popcorn in your mouth, nodding in agreement. Surprisingly Sunghoon has neither texted you or Soojin until now, maybe he's still asleep. "Sunghoon always cock-blocks us, who does he think he is?" Soojin just laughed, directing her attention towards the drama, "Don't be so harsh on him, you know how he is." You made a face, "whatever, I don't need him when I have you." You both know that's a white lie.

"You say you don't need him, but look at him like he hung up the stars in the sky," You choked on the popcorn you were eating at that, Soojin alarmed over your state as she patted your back to help. You looked at her wide-eyed, reaching for the glass of water kept on the coffee table with trembling hands. "What do you mean? I mean he indeed put the star stickers on the ceiling of my room in my parents house if that counts?" Soojin rolled her eyes so hard you thought they got stuck at the back of her head.

"You know what I'm talking about but if you aren't comfortable we won't discuss further," she picked up the empty bowl of popcorn, cleaning the mess you both made, "come to me when you're ready enough okay?" You couldn't help but let confusion overtake your features. And as Soojin hugged you goodbye and you stood in your hallway watching her go, you wondered why Soojin was suddenly talking about Sunghoon to you in this way? Does she not feel the same way about him? Were you perceiving everything wrong? Because as far as you knew, more than you, it was Soojin who looked at him like he hung stars in the sky.

The summer sun irritated your skin, your school's uniform blazer neatly placed on your lap, "ugh, I hate summer with burning passion," You tried putting your hair in a ponytail, muttering curses under your breath as summer heat consumed you whole. Soojin chuckled lightly before getting up from her seat, turning you around as she helped you with your hair. "Cry baby, you're in high school now...grow up," You gave Sunghoon a sharp glare, complaining to Soojin about how he's always so indifferent when it comes to you. Soojin just laughed, placing a gentle kiss on your head as she sat down behind you, placing her head on your shoulder.

It had been a year since Soojin's incident, and you were glad to hear her smile and laugh again, so if that meant you had to constantly bicker with Sunghoon then so be it. You were just glad you didn't lose her that day. When your eyes found Sunghoon he was already looking at you with a soft smile, a mutual understanding in your eyes. Soojin was smiling more these days, and you were glad things were going back to how they were.

"Ah, I forgot," You stood up frantically gathering your things as the other two watched you with confused eyes, "I've to help my mom with dinner since her friends are coming," Your blazer fell down on the ground, "need to go, I'll meet you guys tomorrow, byee." Sunghoon and Soojin could only shake their heads at your forgetfulness and you made a run towards the school's gate. You were halfway through your way when you realized your blazer was, in fact, not in your hand, you don't even recall where you dropped it.

"Fuck, how stupid I could get?" You grabbed your phone from your pocket and dialed your mom's number, thankful that she picked it up quickly. You told her about your blazer, of how you're unsure to run home or back towards school to find it. Your mother laughed, reassuring you that your dad had come home early to help, urging you to get your blazer before it's too late. You sighed in relief before running back towards school, hoping and praying you dropped it somewhere nearby. It had slowly started to get dark when you reached the school's ground, you made your way slowly towards the place you, Soojin and Sunghoon, hung out.

Your eyes fell upon your blazer neatly folded and placed upon the bench you were sitting along with Soojin and Sunghoon who's belongings. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion since both of them were nowhere in your sight. You made your way towards the back of the school filled with large palm trees, your feet coming to a stop as you caught a sight of them.

Soojin's hand was held by Sunghoon as they stood in front of each other, close, maybe a little too close, they were talking, you aren't sure about what. Your ears were ringing loudly anyway, and you stood there watching it all. Soojin stepped closer, her hand clutching his necktie as she leaned in close. Sunghoon's hand raising up to cradle her cheek. The distance between their lips shortened, you turned your back and never looked back till you reached your parents house, blazer still lying on the bench you were sitting earlier that day.

You sighed deeply, laying on your bed, as you remember watching them together. Sunghoon handed you the blazer, washed and ironed, first thing in the morning when he picked you up from your house the next day. You remember smiling awkwardly and being quiet all the way to school, even Soojin looked concerned. Everything was normal that day, between Sunghoon and Soojin at least, because all you did for the next few days after that was wonder when they'll break the news of them being a couple to you.

As the time passed, you thought less about it, maybe both of them just weren't ready to open up to you. Eventually you stopped wondering all together, cause nothing drastically changed between you three after that day. Soojin was still recovering from her traumas, maybe they wanted to take things slow. But something shifted slightly, Sunghoon started paying more attention towards Soojin, you thought it was inevitable if they had feelings for each other, you made peace with that fact. Back then you only feared they would forget you, that they'll forget they had another piece in their puzzle but as you grew older you realize you not only feared losing them as your friend but also about your growing feelings for Sunghoon.

You knew you had feelings for him way before you even realized, especially when he smiled at you, crooked teeth and all, when you fell down your bike on the first day of your middle school. You remember him apologizing, his small hand grabbing your smaller one as he helped you stand up, and how Soojin ran towards you both and scolded Sunghoon intensely for hurting her 'bestest best friend in the whole world.'

He just stood there as he listened to her scolding, his face as serious as it could get, like he wanted to prove Soojin that he was indeed deeply saddened by the fact that you got hurt. It took a while for Soojin's 11 year old self to calm herself down and you hugged her, face full of guilt as you explained that it should be you apologising since you weren't paying attention while riding the bike and almost hitting Sunghoon who wasn't even aware you were bolting towards him. The look on Soojin's face was priceless and Sunghoon offered to be both of your '2nd bestest best friend in the world' as an apology, you quickly agreed and the rest is history.

"I applied for this program because it was academically challenging but I did not think it would actually challenge me," Heeseung was struggling with his study material, his head propped lazily on your lap as he abandoned his laptop on the coffee table. "Oh poor bambi," You mumbled massaging his head to release some of his stress. Jake was drinking his deathpresso again as he sat surrounded by countless textbooks and binders. Jay and Sunghoon were studying together in Jay's room to not get distracted. Soojin was back in her dorm room, probably didn't even sleep for a minute.

You texted and called her in regular intervals to remind her to eat and rest, exam season was always too hectic. After sometime Heeseung got up to continue his study and you placed your textbook back in your lap to continue from where you left. One more paper and then you all were free for the rest of the summer.

"Are you planning on going home after exams?" Heeseung asked as all six of you were eating dinner at the local diner near the college campus. When Soojin didn't pick up her phone for the 2nd time, Sunghoon decided it was time to drag her out to force her to eat something. You were thankful that Heeseung, Jay and Jake had a mutual understanding about everything that had happened but never dared to touch the topic in front of Soojin. "Not me, I will try to find some summer jobs to save up money," Jake nodded at your words agreeing with you.

"I'm staying here too, I need to find and apply for internships as soon as possible," Sunghoon said, your eyes drifting to Soojin who agreed to stay with you the whole summer since she didn't want to go back home alone. Jay's family was going on a long vacation so he'll be gone for half of the summer holidays. Heeseung and Jake decided to be back from the holidays as soon as Jay came so that all of you could spend the rest of the summer together. "All the best for tomorrow guys," and you were off to your respective places.

Your steps felt light as you exited your exam hall, you decided worrying about how you wrote your exams now was useless anyway. You met the boys at the usual sitting area near the far right building. You checked the time, Soojin and Heeseung were always the last ones to exit the exam hall. You smiled, getting up from your seat as you spotted her walking towards you. "Soojin! Come fast!" Sunghoon shook his head as he grabbed your wrist, smiling lightly, making you sit back once again.

Soojin's steps flattered as she neared the spot, what once began as a smile on your face ended in tremble as you watched her balance tip, your feet were moving before your mind did, Sunghoon few steps ahead but still too far. You closed your eyes, unable to watch her hit the ground, you could hear distant voices of Jay, Jake and Sunghoon yelling at her to stay put and then everything went silent.

You opened your eyes, everything stilled, Soojin laid unconscious, in Heeseung's arms as he tapped her cheek to wake her up. Sunghoon reached forward, taking her from Heeseung's arm as he instructed Jay to get his car. You couldn't move, still glued in the same place as you watched everything unfold, eyes never leaving Soojin's face as Sunghoon placed her inside the car. Heeseung followed soon, making himself comfortable in the passenger's seat.

Somewhere in between, you felt Jake grab your arm and pull you towards his car. You let him drag you, your mind blank. He pushed you towards the passenger's seat and fastened your seat belt, and made his way towards the driver seat. The drive towards the hospital was silent, Jake throwing concerned glances at you as he kept on driving. You didn't even let him properly park before you were taking out your seatbelt and making a run towards the hospital.

You found Sunghoon and Jay near the end of the hallway. "Where's she?" "She's inside the room, the doctor is examining her, I heard the doctor say something about fatigue and low energy," You nodded at Jay before slumping against the chair, your hand trembling as you stared at the room she currently was in. You don't remember when Jake joined you three, you could hear Jay's voice in the distance explaining that Heeseung was taking care of the medical obligations, but their voices were muffled and all you could focus on was the door in front of you.

Sunghoon sat beside you, his fingers on your shirt's button where a few strands of hair had tangled in all the rush, you let him untangle them. It was his way of keeping himself grounded, paying more attention to trivial things in order to temporarily forget about the bigger ones. His hand grabbed your trembling ones, assuring you that it was probably due to stress. You forced yourself to listen to him, you forced yourself to believe in his words even when your instinct told you not to.

After some time, you were allowed to see Soojin. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung entered the room and you stayed back to ask the doctor about her condition. She explained to you how Soojin was severely dehydrated, she hadn't eaten in days so she had no energy left, and the all nighters she pulled didn't help her condition either.

When you entered the room, you simply asked Sunghoon to bring some juice and energy drink for Soojin. You sat beside her silently, holding her hand which wasn't connected to the IV tube, the same hand which bore the scar of the pain she endured years ago. Jay, Jake and Heeseung stayed with you, Jay put your head on his shoulder in a silent way to say he's there, right beside you. And as you sat there in the hospital room with all the boys by Soojin's side, a small tear escaped your eye realizing this is the closest you could get to a second home.

You made Jay, Jake and Heeseung go back to the apartment even though they were very reluctant. Sunghoon had gone with them to prepare some food for Soojin to eat in the hospital. You washed your face in the hospital's bathroom, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Something was bothering you at the back of your mind, but you decided to pay attention to it later. You made your way back into Soojin's room, she looked better now than before, she was talking with a nurse with a newfound enthusiasm which you couldn't find earlier when another nurse was checking up on her.

The nurse gave you a smile of acknowledgement as she scribbled on her notepad and left, you gave Soojin a wary look as you sat beside her. "This nurse is way nicer than the other one, kinder too, I like her," A smile graced your lips at her words, taking note of the fact that being nicer indeed makes people's life easier. "I told you to take care of yourself, I asked you many times if you've eaten, you lied to me?" Her face went pale, she avoided holding eye contact with you.

"I tried to eat, I couldn't swallow anything due to the anxiousness creeping up on me, what if I fail this exam?" You could see her eyes getting glassy as she rambled on about how the exams are stressing her, how she is feeling like a loser, "You've never once failed Soojin, and these percentage means nothing, all of us will love you the same even if you score less marks, I can guarantee you that I'll love you regardless of anything. I won't leave your side." You wiped the tears before they slid across her face, you were scared, scared for her, for her parents, for Sunghoon, for yourself. How are you supposed to make her realize she's more than her achievements and reputation? You were desperate to pull her out of this, desperate enough to pray.

"Really? You'll love me even if I fail all of my subjects? Even when I won't win that debate competition? Even when I look ugly? Will you?" She held your hands in her pale ones, like they were the only thing keeping her sane. "Yes, I'll love you through it all, not only me but Sunghoon too okay? Remember you're moving in with me next semester, I'll help you make flashcards and study materials and stay awake with you revising each and every topic. That's my promise to you, I'm still thinking about all of that, I'll be by your side."

"What if I ruin you? What if you get irritated by me? You have trouble sleeping, if you stay awake for me won't it affect your health too? What about your studies? Aren't your parents expecting you to graduate first class? Won't you feel suffocated? What if you'll start hating me-" You shut her mouth with your hand, you held her tighter in your arms as you repeatedly told her that it would never happen.

"Soojin, if I had two hearts, I would give you the second one too, just to break. So it doesn't matter to me, I will gladly embrace the inconveniences that come along with you. Those aren't inconveniences for me, nothing about you is an inconvenience for me, I chose your struggles when I chose you. Sunghoon and I are staying for good." You let her soak your shirt as she cried in your arms and you didn't let go even after she stopped.

"I think it will be better for me to go back home for the holidays, staying here will only stress me out more if I'll see someone working harder than me," You nodded at her words, maybe staying with family will keep her head off of the university's stress. You'll inform her parents about her condition too. "If that's what you want...I won't oppose it." Soojin gave you a warm smile, placing a kiss on your cheek, "can you promise me one thing?" 

"Promise? What?" She sat up straight facing you, she looked adorably cute in that hospital gown, you pinched her cheeks and she swat your hands away before once again holding them, "promise me you'll take care of yourself and Sunghoon when I am not here, both of you tend to get overbearing when it comes to me, and Sunghoon worries so much about me that it worries me," you let her words sink in your chest before you nodded, "I'll take care of him and me, pinky promise."

Your summer holidays are as boring as they could get, with only Sunghoon and you in the city while others are enjoying their families. You almost wished you went along with Soojin to your hometown instead. Sunghoon packed his bag and decided to live with you for the time being because you wouldn't shut up about being bored all the time. You tried looking for a job but the summer heat was unbearable, so work from home it is. Sunghoon, as he said, was indeed very busy with his internship applications and research. But at least you weren't alone.

You regularly FaceTimed and texted Soojin, even Sunghoon always joined in each and every call despite his schedule. But it seems your presence beside her would have been better than the calls you three shared. With time, the schedule got busier, you got another work from home opportunity which you could fit in your schedule. Sunghoon started his internship, and would only come back in the evening. The number of calls started declining the more you got exhausted due to work. And each day, the light inside Soojin's eyes started getting more and more dimmer. You occasionally talked with her mother to get updates from her, and she always said the same thing, Soojin wouldn't talk with them more than necessary.

"I had a talk with Soojin's mom yesterday," You were leaning back against the headboard and Sunghoon laid beside you, his eyes closed, finally being able to rest since it was a weekend. "I think I should go and pay her visit, she said Soojin is growing more and more quieter day by day." Sunghoon opened his eyes at that, shifting a bit as he laid his head on your lap instead, "Is it that bad? I will come with you." You played with his hair, thinking about his suggestion, maybe Soojin would appreciate Sunghoon's presence more than yours. "What about your internship?"

"I'll handle it, let's share this with Soojin. She'll be excited to know we're visiting her." Your eyes lit up at his suggestion as you FaceTimed Soojin. Sunghoon sat you straight leaning into your phone's frame. She picked up the phone at the last ring, "what's up?" You and Sunghoon waved as soon as you saw her face on the screen, she smiled half heartedly as she jumped on her bed to sleep.

"We're coming to meet you and maybe stay there for a couple of days." You smiled brightly at her as Sunghoon nodded his head. "Both of you? What about your jobs and your internships?" You laughed at her confused expression shaking your head, "Don't worry about that, nothing is more important than you," You nodded your head in agreement at Sunghoon's words. "Seriously guys! I'm really FINE, don't change your schedules for me, it's just a phase, I'll be alright!" She hung up the call before even listening.

You exchanged a look with Sunghoon at her sudden outburst, yeah, something was definitely wrong, yeah, you really needed to visit her to calm her down. She was getting pulled right back into the abyss you thought she left behind in high school. You immediately sent email to both your jobs for emergency leave and Sunghoon did the same with his internship. You both started packing your essentials so that the first thing both of you do in the morning is to board the train taking you back to your hometown.

The ride towards your hometown was filled with anxiousness and concern. You tried calling Soojin to tell her you'll be arriving early in the afternoon, then once again when you boarded the train, then again when you were halfway through your destination, but she didn't pick up even once. "I feel like throwing up since midnight, the feeling won't go away hoon," Sunghoon's face was hardened as he looked out the window, his persistent tapping of legs indicating the turmoil he himself was going through.

"It will go away, everything will be alright, it has to be," He anxiously checked the time and station every 5 minutes. He was getting agitated with every call getting ignored. Soojin had never ignored the call, even her parents won't pick up. The train ride was nerve wracking for both of you as you reached your destination.

Visiting Soojin straight after reaching your hometown was a decision both of you didn't need to verbalize. The house was locked when you arrived making you more confused than you already were. No one was picking up the phone, no one was in the house, what was even happening? You dialed her number again, the silence of your surroundings made it possible for you to hear the distant sound of a phone ringing from inside the house. She left the phone in the house. You heard a familiar voice call out your name, you and Sunghoon walked towards Soojin's neighbor, an old grandma who always gave you three sweets whenever she could. "Where are they?"

"You don't know?" You and Sunghoon exchanged a curious glance at her worried tone, "why?" You were practically holding onto the fence for dear life as you ushered grandma to continue, "Soojin attempted to take her life early in the morning today, all of them are at the hospital, she's in a very critical condition-"

Sunghoon dragged you out of the yard and towards the hospital before grandma couldn't even finish her sentence properly. You were out of breath, Sunghoon being relatively taller and faster, you let him drag your body along with him. He stopped right in front of the hospital gate, unable to bring himself to enter. "I'm scared," So were you, Sunghoon let you drag him inside the hospital, his mind numb as he forced himself to take one step after another. "She'll be alright, her parents were with her," you tried to reason out.

You spotted Soojin's younger brother and rushed towards him, he immediately broke down in your arms. Her mother and father were sitting outside of the operation room covered in blood as they prayed for her, it reminded you of the first time when you were here with Sunghoon. "She'll be alright, right?" Sunghoon kneeled in front of her mother, she broke down immediately after noticing you both. "What happened?" Your voice trembled as your eyes flickered between her parents and the operation room.

"We heard a some noise, a soft thud, I thought someone had barged into our house so I woke Soojin's dad to inspect and we found her lying on the ground unconscious, with blood dripping from her hand-" her mother couldn't stop another wave of tears from flowing so her dad continued, "they have been inside the OR for hours, she was breathing still, we informed police about this, her brother found a note."

"Tell her we don't expect much from her as long as she's happy, tell her we love her regardless, I can't take it anymore, let her live pain free, please," You hugged her mom as tears formed in your eyes. Sunghoon was already crying, his head resting against your lap. The light of the Operation room dimmed, her dad and mom were first to make a move towards the doors, you and Sunghoon stayed where you were, eyes trained towards the room.

The doctor walked out, his face gravely. At that moment, the world stood still. The doctor’s lips moved, but all you could hear was a roaring silence. Your heart knew before my mind caught up, Soojin was gone. The hallway was too quiet, too sterile for grief. When the doctor looked at you, you saw it in his eyes, loss wrapped in professionalism. His voice was calm, but it shattered your world. They always say you'll remember the exact moment you hear it. For you, it was the way the doctor hesitated before speaking, "I'm sorry, we tried everything we could."

The scent of incense irritated your nose and burned your eyes. With trembling hands you offered flowers in front of Soojin's portrait. Your parents and siblings stood beside you, bowing towards the altar as they silently mourned. Soojin was smiling brightly in her portrait, a picture captured by you in her happiest moment, framed in black ribbon above the altar. The room was filled with hushed conversations, some sympathetic, others judgmental. You decided you would stay quiet for Soojin's peaceful departure.

Jake and Jay were helping with the food, Heeseung stayed beside Soojin's parents in case they needed anything. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who was seated at the far corner of the room, his parents right by his side as they consoled him. He just sat, not even moving an inch.

When the time arrived, Soojin's mother couldn't let go of her. Sunghoon gently but firmly held her back as she cried in his arms, defeated. Someone wailed loudly, who? You aren't sure, your eyes never left Soojin's face even when they closed the coffin, like a finality that this was it. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung, along with Soojin's brother and dad helped in picking up the coffin.

You helped her mother carry her portrait in the front. Outside air was chill, it sent a shiver down your spine. A white car was waiting outside the funeral hall, a coffin was placed, the car took off as everyone bowed for the last time.

You softly called out for Soojin's brother, "take your parents back home, they must be tired. Make sure they rest, you've to be strong for them. I'll handle the rest." He nodded his head, wiping his tears before urging his parents to get in Jay's car to drive back home.

You haven't cried the entire time, you weren't sure if you'll be able to. You stood in the middle of the empty funeral hall, eyes not leaving the spot Soojin was moments prior, you didn't move, you didn't dare to disturb the silence with your presence. You just stared at nothing in particular, your mind haywire with everything and nothing simultaneously. You wanted to cry, to yell, to feel something other than the hollowness you felt deep in your heart, but tears won't come out. You hand made its way inside your dress pocket, your fingers curled around a neatly folded envelope. "Soojin left it for you and Sunghoon, I found it beside the note addressed to us."

You aren't sure how much time has passed, you're still at the same place, unable to let go, unable to come to terms with the fact that a piece of your past has decided to stay frozen forever. You aren't sure how you'll escape this loneliness, when all of your memories till now had Soojin in it. You felt Sunghoon's presence before you saw him, he stood beside you for a moment, didn't utter a single word. You wondered how he's coping with the news, you haven't even spoken to him since yesterday, yet you've been with each other all along.

He sighed deeply, his hand circling around your wrist. He wordlessly dragged you out of the hall, you let him. You weren't sure where he was taking you, but you didn't protest. Evening breeze irritated your skin, it was still the middle of the summer, the air was too humid, suffocating you slowly. The breeze brought anything but peace to you. Sunghoon sat you down on one of the benches of the hall's garden. He never let go off your hand, fingers now intertwined with yours. The sky looked pretty today, you almost clicked a picture to send it to Soojin.

"I tried my best to make her understand, when she slept in my apartment on Jay's birthday, when she was hospitalized, I....I tried everything I could to help her understand but...." your voice gave out, you didn't know how to even explain this to him. Sunghoon gulped, "I did all I could do too, when she would complain about things while walking to our hangouts, when she got less marks than she anticipated, when I was walking with her while coming to Jay's party, when I called her at the middle of the night when she was pulling those all-nighters."

"Do you think she's at peace now?" You finally dared yourself to look at him, sullen eyes, chapped lips, ruined shirt collar. You heard him sigh, "maybe she is, she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders." You didn't disagree, instead you felt Sunghoon guide your head on his shoulder. "You know," You laughed bitterly, "I moved all of my things to accommodate hers, I was so excited that I was finally going to have a roommate." Sunghoon just listened as you sat there talking about how you had planned everything, you talked and talked till you couldn't anymore, till the security guard gently smiled at you both, telling you it's time to close.

The summer holidays came to an end, you and Sunghoon, occasionally Jay, Jake and Heeseung, spent it with Soojin's family. Helping them move Soojin's things from her dorm room, with house chores, with her brother's assignments, and everything which you could. Lia decided to move out of the dorm, the emptiness of their dorm room was eating her up she said, you don't blame her. She had spent everyday living with Soojin. You suggested that she visit you sometimes if she missed Soojin too much.

You were currently working on your assignment, it was past midnight yet you were wide awake. You were afraid to fall asleep, memories of Soojin's death lingering at the back of your mind like a tape record with a broken off button. Her absence was still fresh, you still sometimes dial her number or almost text her about random things. The group chat three of you had was silent now, yet sometimes you or Sunghoon would message a thing or two, mainly when your brains were too foggy to realize that Soojin isn't going to reply.

You texted Sunghoon asking about his whereabouts and now you can't help but keep on glancing at every notification on your phone hoping it's from him. He rarely ignored you, especially after what happened with Soojin, he had made it his personal mission to be there for you. You wondered where he was, he never left you hanging like this so you were getting anxious. Even though your conscience begged you to not disturb others who are sleeping, you still found yourself texting Jay to ask about Sunghoon.

Surprisingly, Jay replied immediately informing you that Sunghoon left the apartment hours ago and is yet to come back. You asked him if he had any idea where he was but he told you he thought Sunghoon was with you like always. You replied that you haven't seen or heard from him after he dropped you off from university to your apartment. You quickly exited the chat, dread creeping up on you, you silently prayed he will pick up this time.

After a few rings, you heard a faint sound coming from the other side of the phone, "Sunghoon?" You heard him take a sharp intake of breath followed by a very clear and loud hiccup. Soft music could be heard but it was muffled with the sounds of traffic, people and wind. "Where are you?" Another hiccup, "It's 5:00 AM, why are you awake?" You rubbed your tired eyes in exhaustion. "I asked you a question first! Are you drunk?"

"Very much," You got up, took the keys in your hand, locked your door, started your car and entered his location details on the map. "I'm coming to get you, stay where you are." You didn't think you would end up in this situation today, your eyelids were getting heavier due to lack of sleep. You saw him slumped against a lamppost near the bar, you helped him get inside your car, texting Jay that you found him and are now taking him to your apartment.

You haven't seen him quite this drunk, ever. You recalled having a conversation with Jake, about how Sunghoon wasn't much involved in their chats or hangouts, they figured he needed some time to himself, to deal with the grief like he wanted, if this is how he was planning on grieving then you weren't going to let it happen. You've already lost Soojin, you weren't going to let Sunghoon be next. You helped him with his shoes and jacket, pushing him towards your bedroom.

You laid him on your bed, helping him with his accessories, putting them on your nightstand. You pulled a blanket on him, and he quietly let you. You were skeptical with him being so compliant, normally he was very hard to handle when drunk. He had his eyes closed, letting you pamper him all you want, you removed a few hair from his forehead before pulling back to continue with your work.

"Don't leave," When you turned around, he was already sitting up looking at you with pleading eyes, you sighed as you made your way back, standing beside him. His hands circled around your waist, his head on your stomach, he nuzzled his head closer inhaling your scent, "don't leave please," his voice was muffled but you heard it anyway. You ran your fingers through his hair to calm him down. The desperation in his voice pulling your heart apart.

"I can't lose you too, you mean the world to me, I can't lose you like I lost Soojin, please," Your shirt soaked with his tears as he cried, shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he held you like his life depended on it. "I'm not leaving, I'm here," your presence grounded him as he cried till no tears left in his eyes to shed. Whispers of 'I feel so empty', 'I feel alone', 'I unintentionally called her but her brother picked the phone', 'where did I go wrong' left his mouth and you listened. After a while when silence surrounded you both you pushed him back against the bed, and climbed to the other side of the bed. He immediately shifted near you, taking your hand in between both of his and closed his eyes. You sighed, patting his back to help him sleep.

The constant shifting on your bed was what pulled you out of sleep the next morning, your mind still foggy as you turned to look beside you. The morning light seeped through the space between the curtains, you lifted your head to look at Sunghoon who was constantly tossing and turning. You chuckled lightly, pulling him by his shirt, he obliged albeit half confused, his hand circled around your waist, lazily pulling your body closer to his, tucking his head on your neck.

"Morning," you softly comb your finger through his hair, "My head is thumping like a drum," he whined, holding you tightly, his groggy morning voice sent shivers down your spine. You softly massaged his hair to help with his hangover. He hummed in delight, feeling a bit better. You stayed like that for a while, your eyes getting heavy once again.

"Shall I move in with you?" You were wide awake now, "Are you sleep talking?" Sunghoon leaned back a little to give you a tight look, then resumed his previous position. "No, you're bad at taking care of yourself, you don't sleep or eat properly, you're a walking hazard to put it simply...I'm afraid you need constant supervision."

"....that didn't help me feel better"

"It wasn't meant to make you feel better, just pure fact," you hit the back of his head to remind him of his hangover, he winced pinching your side in return. You slapped his hands too, "what are you good at anyway?" His fingers traced circles around your stomach and you gulped, clearing your throat, "washing dishes?" Sunghoon laughed loudly as he propped himself on his elbow to look at your face. "Washing dishes? Hmm....let's see...I can cook well, you can wash dishes, how does that sound?"

That sounds great, you wanted to tell him but words got stuck in your throat. It sounded exactly how you imagined living with your roommate would be like. How similar it was to what you discussed with Soojin. Sunghoon's smile flattered as he looked into your eyes, his free hand gently cradling your face to shift your attention back on him. "It sounds perfect," you muttered. He narrowed his eyes at you but didn't push further.

"You sound like you dread having a roommate," he pouted as he got off the bed, holding his head since it started spinning due to sudden movement. "I dread having you as my roommate, what if you poison me?" He scoffed, throwing a towel on your face, "trust me, I would have already if it was legally allowed. I don't want this handsome face to be behind the bars where no one would be able to appreciate it." You made sure he heard you gag at that thought.

You were eating breakfast or brunch if you looked at the time, talking about you having a chat with Soojin's parents and asking yours to visit them from time to time. Sunghoon smiled softly, playing with a fork rather than eating. He was happy to see you talk about Soojin without dread looming above you. Things haven't been easier, and he fears it won't ever. Thinking both of your lives would go on without Soojin already leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but he knows Soojin wouldn't want him or you to be hung up on her.

Sunghoon isn't blind, perhaps a little too good at observation, he knew you still had nightmares from the time Soojin attempted to take her life, after all you were the first one to see her in that condition. He knew it would be more difficult for you to stay alone with Soojin gone. Soojin had once told him how you sleep better if you have someone with you. He thinks he finally understands what Soojin meant when he saw you sleeping soundly beside him. He didn't want to take a risk by leaving you alone, especially now that Soojin wasn't there for you to run up to.

You nudged his leg with yours when you saw him zoning out, "don't play with your food, how many times do I have to tell you?" He smirked at your words, "many times now that you agreed on being my roommate." You rolled your eyes, going back to eat your food.

Sunghoon sighed, finishing his food and helping you with the dishes, "you're pretty good at cooking, I always thought Jay or Soojin helped you but I guess I was wrong."

"Help me? You mean to say of all these years you were eating my food, you didn't think I was the one making it?" You nodding enthusiastically was not even the last reaction expected. "I need my daily dose of appreciation now as a compensation for all the years of ignorance."

"Ugh, I hate you with burning passion,"

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I don't." Sunghoon dried his hands before ruffling your hair. "You're going back?" Sunghoon nodded, promising to shift his things into your apartment the following weekend.

As soon as Sunghoon entered his apartment he was greeted by a very stern looking Jay sitting beside a very oblivious and confused Jake. "You should at least inform someone before disappearing like that! Do you know how worried everyone was?" Sunghoon sighed, mumbling an apology to never repeat it again as he made his way towards his room to relax and continue his work.

He changed into more comfortable clothes, quickly texting you that he reached home. He stretched a bit before making his way towards his study desk to finish his assignment. As soon as he opened his laptop, his headache rolled back due to the screen light, he closed the laptop with lightning speed. He massaged his head, groaning lightly before pulling his hair in frustration. He stood up, trying to recall where he put his medicine box the last time he cleaned.

He found the box placed carelessly on the far end of Jake's computer. He took the box, walking back towards his bed to take the glass of water from the night stand. He swallowed the medicine and hoped it would work fast. The cover of the tablet fell down in the process. He sighed before crouching down to throw the trash in the dustbin when his eyes landed on the boxes kept below his bed. His eyes trained on the half opened one, he reached forward and opened it fully. He smiled at the polaroids and keychains as he rummaged through it. He stopped when he caught the sight of a bracelet, he picked it up bringing it up to his eyes before putting it back inside, closing the box.

Sunghoon sighed, fragments of his past life connecting together to make a bigger, clear, picture. That day started normal, Sunghoon picking you up from your house, you running away from him as soon as you spotted Soojin, him waving at her before continuing the classes. It was the last class of the day when Soojin approached him, "Sunghoon, do you have a spare book in your locker? I forgot mine." Very unlikely that Soojin would be the one to forget something but he got up to get her the book anyway.

The locker room was situated outside of the classes, in a common area. The hallway was empty as Sunghoon opened his locker. His eyes landed on a black box neatly placed inside his locker, confusion gracing his features as he looked around to see anyone who may have left it. Sunghoon's locker being filled with gifts and letters on certain occasions was nothing new, he had grown used to it, but he couldn't recall that day being anything special. A letter was neatly folded above the box, he carefully opened the letter and it didn't even take a minute for him to recognize the handwriting of Soojin.

'Before you open the box, I need to talk to you alone, meet me at our usual hangout after school?'

Sunghoon eyed the box, staring at it as if it would start spilling out secrets hidden inside of it. The class bell rang, he quietly grabbed a spare book and made his way back towards the last class of the day. He entered the class, immediately making eye contact with Soojin, she smiled at him while taking the book from his hand. She turned her head to look in your direction where you were happily laughing with your seatmate then back towards Sunghoon. "I want you to keep this between us," she looked at him expectantly, Sunghoon nodded before making his way towards his seat.

His mind was racing with countless scenarios, his foot tapping against the floor repeatedly. He was silent during the lecture but couldn't focus at all. His mind racing with thoughts. His eyes trailed towards you trying to keep up with the teacher's words and notes you were writing. Then they swayed towards Soojin who sat straight in her seat. If it wasn't Sunghoon, anyone else would think she was laser focused on the class.

While you were talking with your seatmate, Sunghoon made his way towards Soojin. "How are you planning on discussing things with me when you know I walk with her home?" Soojin smiled, turning towards you to realize you were already looking at her. She waved her hand towards you urging you to hurry up then turned back towards Sunghoon. "She needs to help her mom with something, she'll go first. I don't want her to feel isolated, I would have chosen another day if that wasn't the case." Sunghoon nodded his head, and then you joined them.

Sunghoon shook his head as he watched you hurriedly run to go home, "she dropped her blazer." Soojin dusted the dirt from your blazer, Sunghoon took it, folding it neatly. "What are you doing?" He just smiled at her confused gaze, "taking it with me to return it." Soojin gulped, taking the blazer from his hand and placing it beside their belongings. "Let's take a walk?"

Sunghoon didn't urge her to talk, he let her set the pace. He knew she was much more anxious than he'll ever be so she let her lead the discussion. They talked for a bit, about everything and nothing, for a moment it felt good, normal even, like it was just another day and this was just another conversation amongst the countless ones. Mid-laugh, Soojin stepped forward blocking his path, Sunghoon gulped, raising his eyebrows to let her know she had his attention.

She took a deep breath, "did you....open the box?" Sunghoon shook his head no, she smiled, thanking him for listening to her. "You alright? Is anyone bothering you?" He needed to know, the nervousness of her face making his thoughts spiral more. She laughed assuring him everything is normal before she stepped closer, taking one of his hands in hers. "Your presence has always given me a sense of security, especially after what I did, you both must have been too worried about me and I'm thankful that both of you are still by my side."

"That's what friends are for! I'm always here for you." Sunghoon smiled back, squeezing her hand in reassurance. "Right...friends," Soojin huffed a small breath before locking eyes with him again, "I'll be direct with you since I know I can share anything with you without the fear of any judgement okay?" Sunghoon nodded, the grip of his hand tightening a bit around hers as she continued, "I like you," she stopped a bit to watch his expressions but decided to continue before he could say anything, "I think I've liked you for a while now, but ever since that night when I made an attempt at taking my-...and you've been by my side taking care of me, I couldn't help myself, I couldn't let these feelings sit in my heart, that's why I'm saying it to you. I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more."

'I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more.' Those words echoed in his ears as he looked at her. He never left her hand, he didn't even know how to react. He gulped as he watched her step closer, her other hand grabbing his necktie to pull him closer. He closed his eyes on instinct more than approval, how would she react if he pulled back? Will she fall into depression? Will she feel humiliated? Embarrassed?

Soojin is a kind girl, dating her wouldn't be that bad, especially if his presence means so much to her, he cares about her more than anything. He surely would fall in love too. He just felt terrified for intentionally or unintentionally hurting her. His hand trembled when he cupped her cheek, Soojin inhaled sharply.

His first kiss, he should be grateful it will be with someone he trusts, someone he cared for. Their noses touched, he felt her breath on his lips. He tilted her head to the side, he was sure his heart would jump out of his ribs. His thumb traced her jawline slowly before it stopped right at her lips, a shift in the position and his lips touched her forehead instead. He pulled back, chest heaving heavily like he had run a marathon, "I-....Soojin?" He looked at her, confused.

Soojin laughed, pushing him away from her lightly with the same hand she clutched his necktie a few minutes ago, "I just wanted to try my luck I guess." Sunghoon opened his mouth to say something, anything really, Soojin's eyes were filled with tears as she awkwardly stepped back, looking around the place to ease the tension. "Why would you try to kiss me when you don't even like me romantically?" Her question caught him off guard, isn't that what she wanted?

"I....just. I don't want to hurt you Soojin, I just want you to feel loved and cared for." Soojin shook her head, grabbed his blazer with both of her hands and shook him slightly, "so you were ready to be with me just to make me happy? What about you?" He avoided her eyes, he placed his hands on her, lightly but firmly. "I thought it will be fine, I care for you,"

"No, you just pity me," Her voice cracked, "you just pity me because I tried to take my own life, I know I've things to deal with, but don't pity me, I can handle rejection but I don't want people around me to walk on eggshells." Sunghoon pulled her into his arms, "I like you, maybe not in a way you want; does that mean I'll leave your side? No. I'm staying with you, right by your side. I'll still be just one call, one message away. Nothing has to change."

"You promise?" He wiped the tears flowing from her eyes, smiling softly at her, "you'll always be my priority Soojin. I may not be your boyfriend but I'll be the best friend you ever need."

Weekend rolled over faster than you imagined, Sunghoon's belongings were roughly scattered all around your living room. Jake and Jay were currently sprawled upon the couch, eyes closed. Heeseung and Sunghoon were still unpacking things and placing them in the places you pointed out. By evening, most of the things were unpacked and Sunghoon finally let his former roommates free. They bid their goodbyes with Jake dramatically clinging onto Sunghoon, crying about missing his roommate. You let the fact that they lived 5 minutes drive away from you go for now.

You helped Sunghoon with the rest of the things, he vacuumed the floor and you mopped it after. Only a few words were exchanged between you, your playlist occupying most of the silence. "Shall we eat out? It's too late and I'm very hungry," Sunghoon agreed with you before going to shower. You waited till he was done to go shower. Your clothes feel sticky with all the moving and cleaning you did.

You grabbed the food, deciding it would be better to just eat in the car. "You're very quiet today. It's threatening." You glared at him, though you never stopped eating your sandwich. "Don't speak with your mouth full," You retorted after swallowing your food. He stuck his tongue at you, opening the cap of your drink before passing it to you. "It looks like it will rain soon." The sky was filled with dark clouds, harsh wind making you shiver. Sunghoon closed the windows before even a single drop of water could touch your skin.

The rain came down heavy, angry as it drummed against the car's roof. The windshield blocked your view immediately due to the sheer amount of raindrops. The trees swayed relentlessly, signs blurring, people running to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. From inside the car the rainstorm seemed loud, distant even. The air went dense, thick with the scent of earth, the soft hum of the engine grounding you to the moment. Then the thunderstorm struck and you involuntarily shuddered, it wasn't like you were scared of lightning but because you've been extra sensitive to everything lately.

Sunghoon removed his jacket and placed it on your shoulder engulfing you in his scent, "wanna go back?" You shook your head no, wearing his jacket properly. "It's dangerous to drive in this weather....let's just stay here till the rain calms down." Sunghoon wordlessly agreed, raising the temperature of AC up. Soft music filled your ears as you leaned back on the seat. It looked like you'll be stuck here for a while.

Sunghoon hummed along with the song while waiting for the rain to calm down. You peered at him from your spot, he looked at you from the rearview mirror, your eyes trailed from his thick eyebrows, to his lashes, then to the moles adorning his face, to the slope of his nose, and those plush lips. You gulped, forcing yourself to look away before he caught you. You sighed softly, the rain showed no signs of stopping, neither did your thoughts.

"How do you cope when you're left with your thoughts for too long?" You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, eyes still focused on the way rain dropped on the window and slid down, "I mean, it must've been hard for you after Soojin left." He took a moment to let your words sink in, trying to understand them fully before responding. "I let those thoughts consume me, I don't run away, ignoring will only delay the pain."

You exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding, "you can talk to me if things get too hard you know. I'll be there for you." He looked at you wondering why you were saying all those things now, "It must have been hard for you too right? I'm not the only one who lost her."

"Hmm...it's different for me and for you though....you two shared a much different bond than the one you two shared with me," the words left your lips before your brain could comprehend. Your eyes widened as your eyes met Sunghoon's confused ones. "What are you saying?" You scoffed, breaking eye contact, avoiding his scrutinizing eyes. "I saw you two that day....I walked back to school since I dropped my blazer." You didn't need to say anything further to clarify what day you were referring to. His eyes widened, mouth opening and closing, you continued, "I thought at least one of you would say something, anything to me but neither of you did."

You fiddled with your hands, unable to look at him, unable to keep your emotions in check. You had suppressed everything you felt in your heart for Soojin's sake, for years at that. Soojin's absence brought more turmoil inside you rather than ease it. You wanted, no, needed answers. Not for you, maybe a little for you but more for Sunghoon, you didn't want him to hurt alone. You could at least be there for him when you couldn't for Soojin. Maybe that's how you wanted to bring peace to your heart. If he wasn't going to open up to you, how were you going to help him with it?

"I-...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel neglected, I thought Soojin would prefer things that way so I just went along with her and never told you." You played with the hem of his jacket. "So you just were never going to tell me if I didn't ask?" He shook his head, his hand making its way to hold yours. "Why does that thing matter though?"

"Why? It doesn't?" You released your hand from his hold, you decided to ignore his pained expression, "You did not think it was that important? Is that why you were so casual the next day? Because it didn't matter?" Sunghoon scoffed, not understanding where the conversation was heading. "If you saw us, why didn't you question us the next day? You always did that before!"

That pissed you off, "You wanted me to just barge in and ask you both, 'oh hey! I saw you both kissing and left, mind telling me if you're officially together or not' is that how you expected me to behave?" Your hands were flying everywhere as you spoke and Sunghoon just got more and more confused with each word spilling from your lips. And he knows he's stupid, Jake had countless times reminded him of that fact, but he couldn't help the way his eyes were more focused on your lips in that moment than anything else.

"Wait, we aren't-"

"I don't even want to discuss this, you're just pissing me off more, let's stop talking about this." Now it was his turn to get pissed, "Let me explain at least," your sharp glare shut him off quickly, "okay, whatever." Now not only was the atmosphere gloomy but so was the mood inside the car. The rain stopped and you sighed in relief, at least you could go back to your apartment and create some distance between you two. If this was how your first night ended after becoming roommates, you could only imagine the rest of the days.

You got off the car as soon as he parked the car, Sunghoon following suit. You fumbled with your keys trying to get it in, he gently grabbed them from your hand and easily opened the door in one go, now that just pissed you off more. You removed the shoes, stomping inside your room. Sunghoon just laughed to himself, "what a brat." He made his way inside his room, the former guest room planning on having a talk with you tomorrow after you've calmed down.

You threw your body on your bed, groaning at the way your body aches after helping Sunghoon move his things. He was so sweet when he asked if he could move in with you, and now he's behaving like that. You questioned why you have feelings for him in- "Why am I questioning? I don't have feelings for him." you decided you need a little sleep and peace for your mind to function properly again.

You were cozy, the weather outside was cool, wind was still blowing, the smell of earth after rain filling the air, your soft bed with your softest blanket draped around your body. You were in dreamland. You knew the sleep would be different after all that labour you did today, but that's not how that works right? You were thirsty, your throat screamed for your mercy, you searched for the glass of water on your nightstand only to realize you didn't refill it. You smashed your head against the pillow and screamed into it, then you made your way towards the kitchen to drink some water.

You flicked the kitchen light on, lazily drinking water when a loud thunderstorm echoed and you were surrounded by darkness. The yell that escaped your throat was intended to be in your imagination but Sunghoon heard it clearly, which made him frantically get up from his bed mid-sleep, and fall down. He got up, hurriedly making his way towards where your voice came from. By this time, the small light from the hallway window was the only thing illuminating the apartment.

He made his way towards the kitchen, still a bit hazy from waking up abruptly. He called out your name, "I'm here," he followed your voice. You were sitting on the floor at the corner of the kitchen. Your hand grabbed his as soon as you saw his silhouette near you. He freaked out a little when you grabbed his hand, but he wasn't going to let you know that.

"Hey, I'm here for you okay? Don't be scared." He sat beside you, wrapping his hand around your shoulder. He could feel your body slightly trembling, he pulled you closer, wrapping his other hand around you too, caging you in his embrace. You wrapped your arms around his waist to ground yourself. You have always feared darkness with burning passion. Normally you would always have your phone with you or near you to get through it.

Sunghoon drew out a long breath, his heart picking up speed at close proximity. Sure he has slept beside you, even hugged you countless of times but this felt more intimate, more vulnerable, more exposed. "You're still trembling," He pulled away from you in order to check on you but you grabbed his shirt in your hands, not letting go. Another lightening struck and you flinched, his hands grabbed your waist, pulling you up and onto his lap like you weighed nothing.

A loud gasp escaped your lips, he moved you till you were straddling his lap. His hands guided yours around his neck before his own made their way around your waist. He closed the distance between you in one push. His head found home in your neck, his arms tightening around you. A whimper left your lips as you hugged him. He rubbed your back, mumbling sweet nothings in your hair to help ease your nerves. You pulled back slightly, now that your vision had adjusted, you could see his silhouette though it was still very dark. You still hand your arms wrapped around him loosely and his grip shifted on your sides now. His thumbs draw circles around the area.

"We never kissed," His voice was more clear than the sky in the night's silence, "Soojin confessed to me that day, I got scared that she would get depressed if I rejected, I was afraid to be the reason for her next attempt, so I just went along with it. I thought maybe she'd be better if I said yes, but when I tried to kiss her she pulled back."

He continued, "I never told you anything because I didn't want Soojin to feel humiliated, she never discussed it with me either. Although I did not reciprocate, I still felt the need to be there for her more because she told me she felt safer with me around."

"I always thought you both had feelings for each other but were just toying around."

"Why would we be toying around if the feelings were mutual?"

"How would I know that?"

"God really said, 'no thoughts just vibes' with you," You slapped his shoulder as you leaned back a bit more. "What about that gift box?" You questioned, "exactly how many things you know about, trouble?" You groaned loudly before slamming your head against his shoulder. "I saw it on Jay's birthday when I picked up your hoodie from the floor, you aren't good at hiding."

"So the blame is on me?"

"Yes, of course. Who else?"

Living with Sunghoon was more peaceful than you initially thought. It has been months since the incident but nothing really changed, except now you had a companion to stay with. You couldn't really point but after Sunghoon's clarification days of turmoil finally stilled inside your mind, you realized how heavy your thoughts had been before that.

"Ready for college?" You peeked from the kitchen to see Sunghoon already near the door wearing his shoes. You gave him an okay sign, a half eaten bread in your mouth, he chuckled at your state urging you to hurry up. You finished your routine, locking the door behind and made your way out of your apartment complex. "We're driving today?"

"Jake wanted to go out after finishing classes." You entered the car, already feeling excited to spend some time with them. It had been a while, in between classes, assignments and everything, you only met each other in the university briefly. You missed spending time with them. "I missed them."

"Yeah, I can see it on your face." Sunghoon chuckled, reaching out to help you with the seatbelt. Your breath hitched at the close proximity and he just smirked, having the time of his life teasing you. He pulled back, not before throwing a wink at you, and you pulled his ear in response. You adjusted yourself in your seat as Sunghoon began driving.

"Jake, my baby!" The moment you spotted Jake a wide smile spread across your face, and before you could think your feet were already moving. You broke into a run, heart pounding with joy. When you finally reached him, you threw your arms around him in a tight embrace. He hugged you back, his arms tightening around your waist as he lifted you up and spun you around. Jay made a face when you pulled away from Jake, "You act like you didn't just meet yesterday,"

"Don't sulk, I missed you too." You threw yourself on him, although he put up a bit of a fight, he hugged you back nonetheless, "it feels good to see you smile like this again." Heeseung pushed Jay aside before engulfing you in his arms. "Missed you so much, can't handle these two without you, I was crashing out so bad." Sunghoon joined as soon as Heeseung let go of you, "Shall we head inside?"

All five of you made your way inside the arcade, you stood back letting the boys have their moment together, they rarely spend time together like before since Sunghoon moved in with you. Jake noticed your absence before anyone else did, making his way towards you he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards dance machines where Heeseung was currently standing, you stood beside him. He gave you a smirk before starting the game, you smirked back challenging him. What started as friendly competition, turned into you, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon rolling on the floor laughing as Heeseung slipped and fell.

"You okay?" You extended your hand to help him, he glared at you half angry half smiling as he held your hand. "You aren't hurt right?" He shook his head no, before holding Jake on a chokehold since he couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the day was filled with laughter, with conversations and gossip you missed having with them. For a moment, as you looked at them animatedly talking, pushing each other in annoyance everything felt normal.

For a moment you felt at ease, when Jake whispered something funny in your ear you turned to your other side, almost instinctively, to tell Soojin about it, then you stopped when realization hit you. This wasn't the first time it was happening, and you're sure this wasn't surely the last. All of you were still trying to adjust to life without one member of your little friend group.

Heeseung, Jay and Jake occasionally visited Soojin's parents if they happened to be near your hometown. Her mother once expressed her gratitude towards the boys' presence to you. You were happy that none of you were erasing her from your life, she was still present with you all. Especially in small moments like this when any one of you suddenly remembered her. She wasn't physically there with you, but you made sure she'll be with you in your memories.

Sunghoon nudged your shoulder with his, noticing that you were in your head again. He raised his eyebrows and you smiled, shaking your head as you ate your food, joining the conversation back. Sunghoon leaned back, his hand sliding across the back of your chair. You shot him a suspicious glance, he just shrugged. The night continued and soon Jay, Jake and Heeseung left.

The weather started getting cool again, you had your jacket with you this time, Sunghoon bought it knowing you forget easily, he was starting to get suspicious that you were doing this on purpose. "You zoned out again, you're doing that more these days." You gave him a look, "I'm trying my level best with everything, leave me alone." He just shrugged, draping his hand on your shoulder and pulling you flush against his body. You yelped but slid your hand against his waist anyway. You both decided to walk for sometime before heading back, the weather was too good to stay inside.

"You know," He started, you looked at him but his eyes were trained straight ahead, "there are times when I don't know what to do with the time I have in my hand, I don't need to have my phone close to me incase something would happen, I got so used to doting around Soojin that I don't know what I should do now. I moved in with you, so now even if I'm worried about you I can just solve your worries in person, I almost feel empty." He was looking at you now, his smile soft but still strained.

"I get it, but maybe it's time for us to honor her wishes rather than feeling guilty about it. You remember what she wrote in the letter right?" Sunghoon sighed, coming to a stop when he could see the city's skyline. You gave him the letter addressed to both of you after a few days of living with him. You stood beside him, recalling the things Soojin wrote for you. You may have known her your whole life, but you realized you failed to understand the roots of her struggles while trying your best to help her cope.

'I felt like an obstacle in your life, I wanted you both to focus on your own life more. I wanted to just feel normal with you. I couldn't bear watching you guys miss important milestones in your life in order to help me with my own, I felt like I was using you. I love and appreciate both of you, please live your life without any burden. Live your life the way you were supposed to, not focused on me, but on yourself. You'll both do that for me right?'

"Wanna go back?" You asked as you turned around to go back towards your car when you felt his hand grasping yours and pulling back. Your feet stumbled and you collided against him. You looked up meeting his gaze, the cold air sending a chill down your spine. His gaze darkened, his other hand sneaking around your waist to hold you properly.

"Aren't you a little too impatient?" He tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning close till your noses touched. Your breath hitched, one hand still in his hold and other clutching his jacket tightly. You felt his hand slip off your waist but neither of you made any attempt at pulling away. He held you in place with his gaze, the hand holding yours drawing small circles around your wrist. Your pulse was so erratic you were afraid he could feel it.

He raised his hand, his fingers lingered on your cheek, the softness his eyes held made your heart flutter. You tilted your head, and your eyes fluttered close. He looked at you for a moment, not too long because he was losing his control too. His lips met yours, the touch gentle, cautious like he was giving you a gateway to pull back if you wanted to. You sighed against his lips, your hand found its way towards his collar, pulling him closer. Something shifted inside him at your actions, his movements a little clumsy, he pulled you closer deepening the kiss.

The sheer pressure of his actions drew out a surprised gasp from you. You hand tightly holding his shoulders to ground yourself. He caught you just in time, without breaking the kiss. His lips parted, tongue sliding across your bottom lip, you parted your lips, his tongue exploring your mouth like he waited all his life just for this moment. You didn't feel the shift in your positions till your back hit the railings of the sidewalk you were standing at.

His hands cradled your face, you pulled away just enough to breathe, forehead touching, trembling and breathless, as if breathing was just another interruption. He didn't stop, pecking your lips once, twice and once again just because. His lips found their way towards your forehead, then your eyes, nose, cheeks and they were back again on your lips. The kiss this time was slow, the urgency was still present, but it was masked with something softer.

The distant traffic sound made you well aware of your surroundings. You pushed him away gently, your hand trembling against his chest. You looked at his state, chest heaving, hair disheveled, corner of his lips stained with your lipstick. A soft laugh escaped your lips, you hand raising to remove the lipstick stain from his lips, he leaned against your touch, his actions pulling at your heart, that's when you noticed.

You blinked, unsure if you were imagining things, you bought your hand closer. You froze, your fingers brushing against the cold metal you were sure wasn't there before. Your eyes widened when you recognized the bracelet which was neatly placed around your wrist, the one you saw in Sunghoon's room at Jay's party. "When did it get here? Is this for me?"

Sunghoon just smiled at you, locking you in between his arms and railing. "Hmm, for you, and about how it got there, I have my ways," he smirked, one of his hands tracing your lips. He placed the bracelet on your hand when he pushed you against the railing in the middle of kiss, the realization making heat crawl up your face. Sunghoon's lips find yours again, almost as if it's the only place that brings him solace. Your fingers grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. You don't remember how much time you spent just kissing each other, you've lost track of it far ago anyway.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips, pushing his body closer to yours if it was even possible. For a minute you forgot how to breathe. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember and I regret not having you like this before. Soojin was right, should've made the move years ago."

You pulled back, "Soojin knew about it?" He just smiled, kissing your cheek before continuing, "Well, Soojin knew about my feelings way before I did, it's kind of ironic if you think about it, something about the way I look at you when you're not noticing. She bought this bracelet for you, she wanted me to give it to you when I finally act on my feelings so here we are."

You held the bracelet closer, "is this her way of giving blessing to us?" Tears welled up in your eyes as a choked sob escaped your throat. She knew Sunghoon had feelings for you, she knew you had feelings for him, and she was trying her best to not be in the middle of it. You always thought you were the one getting isolated when in reality, it was Soojin trying her best to not get in the middle of both of you. Sunghoon wiped the tears that escaped your eyes, his own vision getting blurry. "I couldn't bring myself to confess when I knew she had feelings for me too."

"And that is the exact reason she was so fed up with us Sunghoon." His head hung low, in the process of trying to protect your best friend you both completely disregarded her need to blend in. Yours, Sunghoon's, her parent's life circled around her to the point she felt suffocated, maybe she felt guilty for unintentionally being the reason people around her neglected their own needs.

You cupped his face, kissing his eyes. You pulled him in your arms, inhaling his scent. "I love you too, more than anything." His arms tightened around your waist and you stayed like that for a while basking in each other's embrace. You both made your way back to the car to go to your apartment, one of his hands grabbing your thigh and occasionally squeezing it. Both of you were still riding on the high of your newfound confessions. None of you could keep your hands off of each other but decided to take things slowly. You had plenty of time together anyway.

You were ready to call it a night, freshly changed into your pajamas when you heard a knock on your bedroom door. Sunghoon was leaning against the doorframe, in his hand he carried a red box. You looked at him curiously, a silent question flickering behind your eyes. He just shrugged and placed the box in your lap and sat before you.

"The black box is the one Soojin gave me when she confessed, when I went home and opened it, the box was filled with different keychains and charms and polaroids of us," He explained as you opened the box then he continued, "there were polaroids of me, you, hers, of both of us, of me and Soojin." You nodded at him as your eyebrows furrowed looking at the contents of the box.

You looked at him and he just scratched the back of his neck smiling sheepishly, "I separated the polaroids which had you and me, and even your candids in my bag and Soojin saw them one day. She just laughed and told me to get another box to keep the things so I won't embarrass myself like that in front of you." You laughed at his words and he gave you a look which said, 'this-is-the-reason-I-wasn't-telling-you-about-things-before.'

The box was filled with the polaroids of you, of you and him together, the locket which you once left in his house, the greeting card you gave him on his 12th birthday, your drawings which you thought you threw away in trash bins. You laughed at yourself, so this was the reason why the black box was filled with polaroids of Soojin and Sunghoon only. You put them back, closing the box and putting it inside the drawer of your nightstand.

"If I had been a little bit more curious that day, I would've found you had a huge crush on me on Jay's birthday," You sighed dramatically, plopping yourself back onto your bed. Sunghoon lightly slapped your knees before making his way upwards, his arms placed on either side of your head as he hovered above you, caging you with his body. "You're such a menace," he grumbled, putting all of his weight on you, as he trailed kisses down your neck.

You sighed softly, his hands roaming all around your body. His mouth is working on your neck, sucking, biting, licking. You were sure your neck would be adorned with love marks after he was done with you. You ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand sliding across his shoulder as you both drifted off to sleep.

You don't think you'll ever forget what Soojin did in order for you to be here at this moment. Soojin was an integral part of both of your lives and she'll continue to play that part forever. She will always remain the link which joined you and Sunghoon together. You know she's still with you, maybe not how she used to be.

But now her presence lingers when morning sunlight makes you groans, it lingers when Sunghoon makes home cooked meals for you, when Jake wraps his scarf around your neck when you forget it yet again, when Heeseung ruffles your hair and constantly reminds you to eat during exam season, in a way Jay asks you to help him make flashcards for his study materials.

She never left, she just divided her love for you in four equal parts. And if you ever were left alone with your thoughts for too long, she lingered as the bracelet wrapped around your wrist to remind you she is still with you. You know she'll always be there for you and Sunghoon.

[minhaemin]

dew drops ⤑ psh (m.)

summary: with the continuous change of weather, waiting for spring to arrive feels like forever. but when you unexpectedly had to volunteer in participating at your campus’ yearly Easter egg hunt, what you're searching for might be the least of your concerns.

pairing: sunghoon x reader

genre/au: smut, fluff, strangers to lovers, easter!au, university!au

word count: 15.2k

warnings/content: mentions of religion and folklore?, ovulation, making out, exhibitionism, pet names, explicit sexual content, breeding ig? multiple sex scenes, slight corruption?

author’s note: i had visions after i saw this ad back in february but only started writing this near the end of April. it's finally getting warmer here y’all, i hope you enjoy this late Easter treat <3

Easter weekend.

The long weekend that everybody has been looking forward to — particularly those who are working or always busy, you included. Preparations for the grand celebration that weekend took a long time, and it got particularly intense during the last few days. However, much to your relief, you’re free of religious duties on its final day so you were able to celebrate with your family.

But then here you are the day after, back at campus for your university’s annual Easter egg hunt. You weren’t supposed to attend the event but final exams have been rolling out since the second week of the month. There's no way to take ahold of any of your fellow club members to participate, leading you to volunteer as its representative in the end.

The student council already has a hard time to gain any participants since classes are technically over. Students are either busy studying for their upcoming ones or are already gone for vacation. What better way to promote engagement than emphasized that any club participating in the event will get extra funding for the next school year, bonus, if their representatives win the games as well.

So the option to ditch would be a waste.

Especially for you and your club. It's already not on the priority list for campus funding due to its size in comparison to other larger organizations. As an executive member, it's your responsibility to improve the status of your club as long as you're able and this is your chance.

Thankfully though, some of your club members cheered you on so it didn't feel like you were all alone.

“you guys are lucky i love y’all” you huff through the phone as you trudge through the pathway towards the wide clearing. It's located behind the natural sciences building which is right by the forest. There’s a trail here that leads to a bridge then a stream that runs by the clearing before the surrounding trees.

You didn't even need to follow the signs to reach there. The path is pretty familiar to you since you've taken walks here before to clear your mind.

“it’s a de-stressor event anyway! time to relax miss president!” your vice president, Ruka, cheers you on. You did miss her bright energy since she went back home to Japan after her exams finished a week ago. Most, if not all international students usually leave campus as soon as they’re done for the school year.

"yeah yeah whatever, I'm not gonna try to win anything" you roll your eyes even though she couldn't see you.

You're exhausted from all the festivities and had no time to actually rest. Joining this wouldn't be too bad since you're using this as an excuse to relax like she suggested. Find a good spot where you can hide and just sit there until the event is over. You can try to meditate or even sleep then retrieve your proof of participation later.

“you have to! for us!” she protests with a loud wail and jerk from the volume.

“well, none of you are here” you remind her and that quieted her down. You didn't mean for your tone to come out that way, already imagining her pouting at your playful scolding. You shake your head because she's seconds to giving you a long explanation.

“I'm not mad okay?” you clarify just in case. Despite how close you two have gotten, people often times assume things about you a lot. Not that Ruka would, but it became a habit for you over the years.

“i know but i do feel bad” she counters, sounding defeated. “treats when you get back then” you tease to break the awkward silence after and she brightens up. “souvenirs have been ready for you and the rest of course!”

The clearing came into view so you said your goodbye to Ruka. You're just in time when the host begins announcing the details of the event which you didn’t bother listening to. Their voice is loud yes so there's no way you'd miss anything regardless. You're not even taking this seriously, the bare minimum should do.

Walking up to the front, you picked a random small and round woven basket with pastel decorations from the table without much thought. Smiling at the volunteers, you head towards the forest to begin your “hunt”.

Trudging through the trees, the ground doesn't give you a hard time yet. Barely greenery is around and the soil was tender because of the rain from a couple of days ago. Today's weather is better than you expected, slightly cold but not too much that you’re able to wear your halter mini dress that you got from the seasonal sale before the long weekend.

Spring is a bit delayed this year but some flowers have started to bloom. As you walk further into the forest, the grass became more prominent and greener, lifting your mood immediately.

Looking around to check if there are other students with you, there are none. You've seen them dispersed earlier and you were surprised that you ended up alone. Granted that you really didn't want to participate but you thought there would be volunteers monitoring everyone.

They’re probably in the other areas hunting for the golden egg which is the grand price.

You're here to hunt something else and your eyes spots an area behind a blooming garden. It stands out between the trees, its surroundings is filled with luscious greenery which is a perfect spot for you to wind down. Where you are currently is probably beyond the designated area to search but that wasn't your goal anyways.

This one is and you finally found it.

You need to claim it before anyone does. If anyone sees you, they might follow you here and disturb your serenity.

Settling down at a nearby tree trunk, you place your basket to the ground beside you. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, you try to clear your head while you can. It's one of the only times that you can have a peace of mind. Not possible when you're home because it's always been loud.

Leaning back at the trunk, you've looked up to the bright blue sky before closing your eyes. Taking a short nap would be good but the little noise coming from your side snaps your eyes back open. Your heart pumps, debating if you should just go back to sleep and pretend you didn't hear it or not.

But then what if it's just nothing? or worst case, a wild animal who's waiting to pounce.

And you don’t want to alert it. Slowly, you turn to the side, cautious in the way you lift your body off the ground.

The noise stopped, making you pause. However, you're still curious, itching to check what it was just in case you hear it again. Following where you suspect its source could be, you proceed to enter a small clearing beyond the rows of tulips.

You couldn’t be more surprised at the scene.

A very gorgeous man dressed in a light pink polo shirt with a slightly darker shade of pink sweater vest on top. His dress pants matches his polo shirt, the whole fit complimenting your white floral dress.

You’ve never seen him before nor encountered such beauty.

It took you a moment before you start to speak. “excuse me, are you one of the volunteers?” you asked, noticing some colourful and shiny eggs around a small bump by his feet.

He must be so he's definitely here to report you. The council probably added extra volunteers to trick the participants who tried to break rules. You couldn't possibly be the first one to do so.

You spoke too soon.

He looks confused at your question but hesitantly nodded at you with a shy smile. You're taken aback at how dreamy he is from afar, looking extra adorable with his fluffy permed hair. You wonder if it was mandatory for them to dress up for this event. This gorgeous man definitely upped it up a few more levels.

You find yourself smiling so wide as you shift your weight from one leg and vice versa. Your hoping this polite looking volunteer just see it as your enthusiasm for the Easter hunt.

“i heard a noise and thought it was some wild animal” you begin explaining when he didn't even ask you a question. He looks like he wanted you to talk more so internally sigh in relief before you'll start to yap. It happens a lot when you’re nervous, especially around good looking guys.

And you don't want to embarrass yourself. It'll be his first impression of you.

“by the way, is this a special level? that’s why no one has discovered this area yet?”

The consequent questions fly out from your mouth before you could stop them. He didn’t reply, causing you to look at him nervously. He mirrors your anxiousness but maybe he’s just a little shy. Thankfully didn’t mind, nodding at you again.

You're unsure what to do next but he smiles at you, washing away your concerns. Deciding to approach him, you match his smile in the process, possibly brighter and gave him your name.

The area's grass is softer and less harsh. He's inside the circular sheepskin rug in a jaded green colour with huge light pink faux fur cushions that matches his outfit. Most of the eggs are placed on top of them, giving the ultimate Easter Egg Hunt display.

You walk towards where the dreamy volunteer is standing to look at the eggs, fascinated at how expensive they look compared to the other Easter eggs you've seen before.

Shit, what if this is the most difficult level? You're surprised that the university even allocated a big budget for this event. The promise of extra funding in exchange of participation made sense now.

“my name is Sunghoon”

He finally talks, in a soft and sweet voice. It made you pause flinging your Easter basket around. He bows slightly when you return your gaze at him.

He’s polite and pretty.

You’ve never met a man this pretty before.

And you’re smitten already.

This is bad because you shouldn't be falling for a man this quick. You need to focus on the eggs. Yes, right, the Easter eggs. The nearest to him seem to be the special ones.

“what’s the challenge to get one of those?” you ask, willing your focus on those shiny pastel eggs instead of his presence.

“just try to remove them from where they're placed" he mutters softly that you almost didn't hear him. Humming in response, you begin your mission to bring at least one inside your basket.

The thing is, you may have underestimated these eggs.

They ended up being heavy and glossy, which makes it harder to hold and carry without slipping off your hands. Another option is to roll them to your basket but it looks fragile and you don't want to risk breaking it.

You'd have to drop it slowly inside.

From your peripheral view, you notice Sunghoon watching you intently. Suddenly you're conscious since he's watching you struggle.

You can't let a pretty man witness your failure. It's embarrassing for a first impression but he doesn't say anything. You wanted to turn to him and watch his reaction but he's already distracting you this way. Besides these are merely Easter eggs. You may haven't participated in any hunts when you were kid but it couldn't be this hard.

"do you need help?" he offers and you almost lost hold of the egg you're holding on a lower level. You're literally squatting so the distance between the ground and the height of level is much closer. He must've been frustrated at watching you repeatedly try and fail again after a while.

"no! I'm still good to go!" you chirp, breathing heavily as you try to lift the vista blue egg. You decide to drop the previous one, your arms are now aching so you took a breather before trying again. This might be easier since located on the top of the ashy green hill-like stump. 

You're hoping gravity would cooperate, come on Newton.

Dropping your basket at the foot of the stump, you prepare to lift the egg off the ground. The weight was manageable but you've exerted yourself with the other eggs before. Add that you're wearing a lovely mini dress, the slope doesn't work well with your platform sandals.

Throwing you off balance.

You should've worn comfortable pants.

Instead of falling back, a pair of hands catches your body in time before reaching the ground.

"be careful," Sunghoon mutters softly beside you, abruptly cutting your yelp midway. His lithe fingers holding your waist gently offers a sense of immediate comfort. You're too flustered to respond, realizing that you embarrassed yourself once again.

At least you're in his arms.

What.

“t-thank you” you reply with a sharp intake, still processing what just happened and the feel of his touch. He hasn’t removed his hands from your waist yet but somehow, you like the feel of them on you.

Plus, he smells good. Like roses. The pink ones. Not intense like the red.

You find yourself leaning back against his chest as you close your eyes. The sudden comfort enveloping you with the way he’s holding you.

“you’re very welcome, beautiful” your eyes open at his reply, the way he called you beautiful. You were surprised at his effect on you and that he made the first move. Your ogling earlier might've been obvious but you didn't think he'd be this straightforward.

Maybe he wasn’t so shy after all.

“i can try again” you blurted out, leaving his hold because you feel awkward all of a sudden. You hear him clearing his throat, prompting you to turn to him.

You find Sunghoon back to his stoic facade but he's looking everywhere but you. You must've made him uncomfortable but he wouldn't call you beautiful if he was right? Or he was just being polite and calling you that to fluster you to get off of him.

Sunghoon picks up your Easter basket, handing it to you while you compose yourself. It’s not a big deal. It shouldn’t be but you’re stressing about it now. You're not impressing anyone here since Sunghoon's just doing his job as a volunteer.

And you're making it difficult for him even when you didn’t plan on hunting eggs in the first place.

“maybe try the ones by the base” he suggested, pointing at the peach and pastel red eggs.

Good. He's leering you back on track.

“you can sit down hoon, you can’t stand the whole time. this might take a while”

You honestly felt bad that Sunghoon has to stand because how perilous you are. However, the nickname slips out of you and it's too late to stop it. “wait, hoon?” he turns to you as he sits down at the hill’s base, looking at you expectantly.

“can i call you that? or is it too soon?” you ask with hesitation. He looks like he doesn't mind it but you've probably pushed yourself to him this early. It's just that you like giving nicknames in general; then he saved you from further embarrassment so you feel a little affectionate.

“you can call me anything,” he smiles a little, looking at you fondly for someone that he just met. You've been starting to question his shyness when he hit on you earlier but he's probably more comfortable with you now.

You smile at him before returning your attention to the eggs that he pointed earlier. I'm getting you both no matter what. Sunghoon seems to notice, following your gaze at your target. He gives a small chuckle which whirled your focus a little but you've conquered the temptation to look at him.

Placing your basket beside Sunghoon, you locked your eyes on the egg behind him. Reaching out with both hands, your fingers carefully test your grip on the egg. The thing is, you can feel Sunghoon's eyes boring through you from your peripheral view and you’re getting self-conscious again.

He's back to watching your every move and you've been doing your best to only get distracted but also succeed with one egg.

Crawling up the slope causes your thighs to be exposed further. There's no wind today so Sunghoon's saved from being flashed without his consent. Still, despite being used to wearing dresses, your proximity with Sunghoon is making you nervous. There's nothing to worry about since he's been a gentleman so far, proven with how gently he's held you and how he's only looking at your face, unlike most guys.

You've taken a pause, wondering if getting the egg is still worth it. So far, all you've done is try to retrieve any egg but you're close to giving up. Giving a push to the egg so it'll roll down the base, your Easter basket's been waiting to receive it but you might not have a basket in the end as a result. You can't even ask Sunghoon for help cause it'll be cheating.

Either you gave up now or embarrass yourself and waste both you and Sunghoon's time.

"i forfeit" you grumble, still trying to push the damn egg with no luck.

"you're almost succeeding," Sunghoon cheers on but it only made you upset. He moves at a respectable distance to convince you to continue. You gotta give it to him, he's still got the enthusiasm while yours drained out.

"no point, hoon. I've tried my best" you resign, switching to sit on your heels.

"that's alright. you'd still get something right?" he's looking at the bright side while something clicked in you.

He's right, you did, meeting a gorgeous gentleman like him. And you will, that is, get him.

Sunghoon must've felt the change of your demeanour. He tenses when he sees you smile mischievously at him. He tried to look unaffected but you're honestly confused at your sudden desire to be near him. The surprise is clear from his adorable pretty face when you reach out for his arm, wondering why you're pulling him closer to you instead.

"do you need anything?" he asks as soon as your attention solely on him.

"maybe" you whisper, staring at him like he's your target instead of those Easter eggs. You truly don't know what's gotten over you. It's like this man suddenly bewitched you to come after him. You were already enamoured of his beauty earlier, the comfort you felt with the way he treated you shifted your focus on having him instead of those eggs.

He inhales sharply at your vague answer, his head tilting to the side as he studies you with those wenged-coloured eyes. The gesture made you feel conscious with the way his eyes are scanning your body. It's the first time that he did and you're feeling hot all over, not knowing what to do next when his gaze descends further.

It's funny how the tides changed quickly, it's you who's now fiddling the hem of your mini dress because you're anxious of his next move.

"come here," he says softly as he straightens one of his long legs, leaving you confused.

Sunghoon then pats his thigh and you understood, crawling towards him. The thin grass pricks at the skin of your knees but you couldn't look away from Sunghoon searing stare. You again surprised yourself with how fast you obeyed his words.

All thoughts of the hunt and the Easter eggs flew away as soon as you reach Sunghoon. He cages your body in his arms, holding your waist like how he did earlier when he caught you. You're situated on his lap, waiting for you to say something but your brows only scrunches.

A teasing smile appears on his handsome face.

"do you know what you want now?" he asks again but instead of replying with words, you lean in, stopping only when your face is at a small distance from his. You don't know where this bravery of yours came from but it's now or never.

"yes", you answer before giving him a peck on the lips.

You wish it was too quick. Sunghoon's lips caught your eye earlier because of how pink and glossy they are. Now you know how soft they feel against yours too.

And you wanted more.

Sunghoon goes rigid the moment your lips touched. His hands jerked from holding your waist and now you're afraid if you got the wrong idea. After he gave you a sign earlier, you wanted to initiate this time. Or maybe it wasn't. Calling you "beautiful" is just how he breaks the ice with girls and you're no exception. It could be a part of his job, as a distraction and he definitely succeeded.

"I'm so-"

The apology was cut off when you feel Sunghoon's lips again. He didn't pull back immediately like you expected, the slight stickiness of his glossy lips attaches to yours as he moves his lips. But before you can open your mouth to deepen the kiss, he retreats. "may i?"

You're bewildered at his question since he already kissed you. Regardless, you nodded, only then realizing he's pertaining to touching you. His soft hand slides down from your waist, not stopping until he reaches the end of your dress. He pushes it up so he can slide in his palms along your bare thigh.

Sunghoon finally pulls your body closer to his, drawing a surprise gasp from you. Your hands that were on his shoulders automatically moves to hold the back of his head, your fingers tousling his fluffy permed hair that extends down to his neck.

You both stayed like that for a bit, just holding each other contently while staring into each other's eyes.

"i don't think I've told you how pretty you are, Sunghoon," you mutter, one of your hands moving to trace his features with the tip of your fingers. His skin feels so soft between your touches that you just want to hold his face forever.

From the thick eyebrows down the sharp slope of his nose, you couldn't believe someone with such beauty exists.

"you're more beautiful," he replies softly before he kisses you again.

This time, Sunghoon allows himself to drown in you, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. The sudden hunger he's finally letting out has taken you back that you couldn't help but smile in between kisses.

You're both interrupted by the loud rings of bells, breaking your make out session. Your attention shifts to the series of faint voices clearly from a megaphone, clearly announcing the end of the hunt. You've gotten nothing done except being on Sunghoon's lap.

However, the man beneath you ignores when he just heard. He proceeds to kiss your jaw then his lips move down to your neck, breathing in your scent deeply.  

"you smell so good" he groans against your skin, clutching your waist at the same time. It's the first time you've heard him this way and it's making your whole body shiver.

Sunghoon's been holding back and you love testing boys.

"hoon, don't we need to head back? they might look for us soon" you nudge his shoulders, trying to bring your focus to the concern at hand. The other volunteers could be rounding up all the participants and will find out that you're missing from the list.

Although they knew that you weren't going to take this seriously, they still have to take an attendance.

Sunghoon’s touches are luring you back though. He cups your face with one hand and caresses your waist with the other; his way of reassuring you.

"we can stay, don't worry, i won't tell anyone" he whispers against your lips before capturing your them again.

Sunghoon's tempting offer begins to tug at you. His words did the magic, calming your worry and pushes you to focus on his kisses instead. Besides, maybe you can just retrieve the compensation for participating later. You'd have Sunghoon as a back up to prove that you did try your best.

“are you sure?” you ask again and he nods. “if i don’t get that extra funding, you’re to blame” you giggle, punching his chest playfully.

Sunghoon only smiles at your whims, knowing you've already succumbed to him. You resume kissing him, the both of you growing more hungry for each other as time passes by. His soft kneading of your thigh turned into a hard grip. Probably because you've unconsciously been rolling your hips against his crotch.

"do you need a break?" he breathes out as he releases you, licking his swollen lips in the process. Your gaze automatically landed on them, so shiny like it's calling you to take a bite. You'd love to but Sunghoon's lips have tasted so sweet, stopping your urge to draw blood from them.

He calls your name softly, urging you to take a breather. You didn't really need to, the need to kiss him rising the more stops to tease you. He has to be teasing you or he'd be all over you right away. Nevertheless, you lean back to take a good look at Sunghoon's current state. His hair's more disheveled with all your pulling but it's his dilated pupils that's boring through you that has your heart racing.

And the obvious hardness that's poking between your inner thighs.

"oh? are you sure you want me to, hoonie?" you tease, smirking at him. The new nickname perks his attention, breaking his desiring gaze. Only then he realized what you meant, his cheeks flushing as he looks down when you keep staring.

"it'll go away, don't worry" he mumbles shyly, still not meeting your inspecting gaze. 

Even when he's painfully hard, he's still adorable. So you take it upon yourself to let him know that you want him too. Feeling how hard he is further ignited your hormones. You're sure he can feel how wet you already are.

Guess he's the type to let to let others take charge.

Your hand reaches out to lift Sunghoon's knitted top along with his polo shirt, revealing a lean stomach to your hungry eyes. Skin unbelievably pale, you're tempted to scratch your nails along his visible abs but that's for another time. If there will be after this; you'd just have to convince him with your charms.

Sunghoon's breath hitches when you trace the lean muscles of his stomach. You can see them tightening the more your fingers skitters around the edge of his pants. You're tempted to tease him like he did earlier, of if he did actually, he was genuine but you never know.

The bulge in front of you further incites you to circle the buttons of Sunghoon's pants teasingly. He's anticipating what's to come, blown out eyes simultaneously drifting between your exposed thighs and your hand.

"may i?" you ask softly as you look up to his handsome face. Hearing the question he asked you earlier cracks a shy smile on his lips. He nodded after as answer and you swear you a soft glint in his eyes, a sign that he's touched.

Slowly, you begin unbuttoning Sunghoon's pants and he lifts his hips so you can pull it off halfway. Much to your surprise, he's wearing a white silk underwear that looks expensive. He's different indeed because you haven't met any guy that wore one before.

"they're breathable" he mumbles an explanation as he looks away, a hint of embarrassment in his tone which made you smile. He looks adorable pouting but you hope he's not getting the wrong message with your reaction. You're simply amazed, admiring how pretty he is down to details.

"fancy, I'd say. it fits you perfectly" you say fondly as you pull it down, freeing his rock hard cock from its confines. You catch it with your hand as it springs up, the twitching almost made you want to suck him off to reassure him but your impatience takes over.

Stroking it slowly, Sunghoon's breathing starts to heavy, bringing back his attention to your hand. You're like in a trance, eyes remaining on his cock, so focused on spreading the precum around his head. He starts moaning and your eyes perked up, catching his pleading eyes in time before he closes them. He'll never tell you to stop so you release him.

A small chuckle leaves you when his eyes opened the moment you did. You didn't let him have a moment, moving to straddle his lap. You can feel his bare cock rubbing against your clothed pussy and you'd want nothing but want him inside you. Your mini dress hiking up once again, much to Sunghoon's delight. He reaches under to pull your frilly undies down, cupping your cunt once.

"you're soaked" he comments, astonished how wet you already are before plunging two of his long fingers inside your caverns. You're unsure if Sunghoon's aware that you're ovulating. He would've felt how wet you are since earlier, dripping so much that you worry your juices will reach his cuff the more he moves his fingers.

"h-hoon, please?"

He nods, removing his fingers from you right away so you could guide his length to your core. Before doing so, you quickly move back to pull it off from one leg, leaving it on the other because you're too impatient.

You rarely beg but you couldn't care how desperate you sounded when Sunghoon's the same case. His rushed hands and the way his breath quickens when you touch him. Sunghoon's too irresistible for you to wait around, the need to have him carnally encourages you to drop your hips, sinking into his cock without second thoughts.

Whimpers escape you since Sunghoon's quite generous in both thickness and length. You wanted to watch yourself while taking him in but the slight sting had you closing your eyes. Sunghoon helps you by pulling your body in, leading to your hands that are holding his shoulders moves to pull his hair.

Your foreheads to touch one another and you felt a sense of steadiness.

"couldn't wait any longer" he breathes out, his fingers circling the sides of your waist to comfort you. He lets you adjust to his size, leaving feather light kisses along your neck until you feel comfortable enough to roll your hips.

When you reopen your eyes, you meet Sunghoon's blown out ones. It's the only way you can tell he's affected by all these aside from his heavy breathing and disheveled hair caused by you. Meanwhile, you're already a mess when you both barely started, hair's sticking on your skin with all the licking that Sunghoon has done.

Rolling your hips experimentally, you grab Sunghoon’s shoulders for stability. He's followed your suit with how quick you are on gripping him, his gentle caress of your back turned into desperate digging.

None of you talked save for the exchanged panting and moaning in between kisses. He's pretty quieter than other boys but that doesn't affect how good he is at fucking you.

Sunghoon’s mouth returns to your neck but this time, his face continues down to your chest. You’re expecting him to pull down your neckline but instead, he only nuzzles your clothed tits affectionately as he starts bucking his hips up into you.

His fluffy hair tickling your clavicle almost made you giggle but Sunghoon cuts it off when he suddenly delivers a sharp thrust.

“fuck, oh my–“ the loud moan escapes you when he unexpectedly finds the bundle of nerves. Noticing how loud you’ve gotten, Sunghoon thrusts up again, hitting that same spot, strangely not bothered that anyone could hear you easily. You’ve wrapped your hands around his head at this point, squeezing his face further against your clothed breasts.

Despite how tight your bodies are pressed tightly against one another, Sunghoon manages to slip his hand underneath your dress. He rubs your swollen bud as you grind more on his cock to get that satisfaction again. Your lower abdomen has been tightening and you scream Sunghoon's name as you unravel before him.

He gives you time to recover before he cages your body securely, moving you both down the mound of grass. He lays you down carefully, your back hitting the ground as he removes himself from you. You whine in displeasure, making grabby hands at him but he only chuckles.

Sunghoon's hand reaches for your undies to pull it off your leg completely, placing it on one of the cushions. You on the other hand, don't even care where it'll be, spreading your legs after to entice him to put his cock back into you. However, instead of indulging you, he flips you to your stomach. Not for long cause he hauls you up to your knees, surprising you with his strength.

Then he enters you again, ripping a yelp from you at the rough intrusion while you're trying to hold on to the soft grass beneath you.

Shit, this is why he asked you to take a breather.

"you feel amazing around me" he moans after delivering another precise thrust, increasing the speed of his hips that you have no choice but only whimper and spew incoherent curses. As far as you know, the quiet and shy ones are revealed to be freaks on the sheets, proven with Sunghoon's great ability at rearranging your insides.

"ngh–hoonie.." you cry, sensing another wave of orgasm rising from you.

"what if i make you mine? would you let me, pretty?" he asks in a steady voice, still so polite even when he’s fucking you into oblivion.

You take back what you said about Sunghoon usually letting others to take charge. You've clearly misread him. It crosses your mind that maybe everything was on purpose — that this has been his style all along.

Other than manhandling you, there's an edge to his voice beneath the politeness, something you should've noticed but you're too blinded by how dreamy he is this whole time. Aside from his cock's nonstop battering along your walls, your ears don't miss the loud smacks from your skin slapping that are echoing around the trees.

The thought of other participants or volunteers finding you both fucking here makes you tighten around Sunghoon. He groans at that and you did it again so you can hear more of him. You couldn't help it anyway when he fucks this good, anyone would. Then his questions finally sink in to your pleasure-muddled brain briefly.

You didn't like the thought of others fucking him.

"a-already yours," you moan out, mind too muddled to register the implication of your words to him.

Your sudden declaration breaks Sunghoon's composure. He lets out a loud and deep groan, body almost collapsing on top of yours. Although you can’t see him, you can tell he’s pleased with your answer. His fingers stroke your sides as he gets louder, a mix of humming and moaning emitting from him.

You're out of breath from his relentless thrusts but that didn't stop you from trying to meet his hips. Once he senses what you're doing, he moves a hand up to briefly squeeze your breasts, while his other one holds your hip for balance.

“I'm near, love” he rasps behind you, his hips pounding you intensely that you're almost being shoved down to the ground if it were not for your strong grip on the grass. A couple snaps of his hips later and his body pauses, filling you up with his warm cum. 

“so full of me..” he muses mindlessly, his tightened grip on your hips loosening as he rides his high. Sunghoon's rutting into you ever since, his pace slowing down but his strokes are deeper. He removes a hand from holding you, sneaking in front to rub your swollen bud, triggering another orgasm from you.

“y-yeah, hoonie..feels good!" you babble, too fucked out and messy to form any more words other than your nickname for him all while gripping the grass below you.

“You want more?,” Sunghoon coos and you nod desperately. You feel more of his cum spilling into your swollen cunt as he continues to fill you up until he has nothing more to give.

When your elbows finally give up, he begins to remove his cock from you, careful not to spill anything even though it's useless. You protest in return even when your body collapses after, whining because you want his cock back snuggled in you.

Your combined juices drip down your legs and you're too weak to clean yourself up. Sunghoon rushes to help you when you try getting up on your own, assisting you to stand up so you can rest on the nearest cushion. He's holding you gently, a real contrast to how rough he's held your hips earlier while he was fucking you.

Sunghoon helps you lie down and you immediately reach out for him to join you. He chuckles at your request, acquiescing without a word. He stretches out his left arm before he lies beside you, inviting you to put your head on it.

Only then you realized that he never removed any of his layered tops this whole time.

"you don't feel hot?" your voice came out hoarse from all the moaning, catching Sunghoon's attention. Although his permed bangs covered his thick brows, the rise of his brow is visible as he scans your sleepy face. "no, not at all," he quips, the curve of his glossy lips lifting into a small smile. 

Despite wearing a dress, your whole body's on fire with the intense fucking. You're just grateful that the weather chose to be perfect today, you didn't sweat as much as you expected. The man beside you however, didn't look any different than the first time you met him. Now that you've both calmed down, Sunghoon's looking at you like you've known each other for a while.

He's not the type to get attached easily does he?

It wouldn't matter since you're on the same boat. It could be your hormones talking but you feel like you can trust Sunghoon.

Never in your life you thought you'd have sex with a stranger out in the open and on campus grounds too. Not only that but you also let him finish inside you even when you just met which never happened before no matter how hot those guys were. Strangely though, you didn't worry as much as you'd expected.

Maybe it's all the exhaustion and you'll have a clarity later on.

You woke up lying on a soft cushion of baby pink fur, nuzzling your face to it as you rouse from a deep sleep. The sky has turned darker, with a hint of purple due to the rays of the setting sun. The clouds have turned pink, painting a beautiful landscape above you and Sunghoon.

It's a perfect way to wake up, feeling like you're in a dream or a main character in some movie. In addition, you feel Sunghoon’s arm wrapped around your waist. You haven't moved yet to indicate you're awake, relishing his gentle touches thinking you're still asleep. His body's not flushed against yours but his caress on your stomach sends a rush of butterflies through you.

You suddenly turn around to face Sunghoon and he jerks in surprise. The serenity in his face was replaced with worry that he woke you up from your slumber.

“am i making you uncomfortable?” he panics but you chuckle instead, finding his question adorable. You shake your head no, cupping his glowing face with your hands to not worry him.

He literally just fucked you hours ago and he's more concerned of how you perceived him after when you're currently very comfortable in his arms.

"I'm just not used to clingy guys…especially pretty ones" you say slowly, waiting for any reaction from Sunghoon. Usually, guys take offense at the word "clingy" but instead, he reacted the opposite. His cheeks turned pink at the word "pretty" and you poking his two moles made him flush more.

Sunghoon immediately hides his face in the crook of your neck, unable to face you after you pointed out his blushing by rubbing his cheeks.

Oh, he's too precious for you to let go.

“listen, i know we just met but do you wanna go with me to the spring formal?” you rapidly ask before you chicken out, nervously waiting for Sunghoon with your uncertain but pleading eyes.

It's not mandatory but there will be an award ceremony happening for the best clubs on campus which you don't want to miss. You can technically go alone, like most people who simply went with their friends. But this year, you want to go with someone for once. With how busy everyone is, you had no time to ask people to come with you so Sunghoon's your last hope.

He was quiet for a while but he looks surprised. Your mind's starting to overthink but you see the smile slowly forming on his pretty lips. "I would be honoured" he whispers, eyes lightening at your offer. His smile fully brightened when you grin in relief that you're able to see his beautiful canines.

Sunghoon leans in for a kiss which you welcomed, feeling his hand move down lower from your belly. He kneads your thighs before he sneaks under your dress to cup your soiled pussy. A soft gasp escapes you at the contact, breaking the kiss as your body squirms with his ministrations. Your back arches a little when you feel the tips of his delicate fingers trace your sodden folds, checking to see if you need more of him.

Sunghoon's radiant eyes are so focused on the faces you're making. He's looking at you like you gave him a pot of gold when you should be the one feeling that way since he agreed to be your date. The only thing left to worry about is the dress you'll wear to the event. You've got a date now who's currently making you feel amazing that you're tempted to fuck him again.

Can't let that happen. Good thing nature's on your side too.

“do you wanna head out? it’s getting darker” you tug his sleeve, getting up from the cushion. You feel better now but you still struggle as you feel each muscle contracts, the impending sore waiting for you has arrived. Sunghoon didn't notice and you didn't want him to; following your suit as you fix yourselves. He hands you back your panties and you find it in you to still feel embarrassed.

“don’t forget your basket,” he reminds you softly, looking at the ground behind your shoulders. You turn to find your cute basket filled with about a dozen of smaller shiny pastel Easter eggs.

Did he just search the forest to fill it up while you were asleep?

The gesture touched your heart since you'd be able to surely claim your compensation later. You look Sunghoon gratefully who's waiting for you at a distance until you're ready to go. However, just as you were about to leave after picking up your filled basket, you notice all the props around you.

“shouldn’t we clean up here? we probably missed the end already” you suggest to Sunghoon, looking around at how much work you both need to do before it gets fully dark. The nap you took felt like a waste of time but Sunghoon's good pounding made the Easter egg hunt fully slipped your mind.

None of you expected to stay here this long so you only have your phone as a source of light. There will be lampposts when you return to the path but it's going to be very dark here soon. You suspect Sunghoon didn’t have bring flashlight while decorating this area since the event's bound to end before late afternoon.

“no need, we can just leave it as it is. at least that’s what I've been told” he shrugs, taking your unoccupied hand with his. As an over thinker, you're not fully convinced with Sunghoon's reason. For all you know, you both would get fined or get a penalty for not following proper protocol.

Not just following the rules but also for public indecency when you both had sex during the duration of the event.

Despite your doubt, you let it go, grasping Sunghoon's hand between your fingers. Together you walk back towards the line of trees, hands intertwining until you reach the main clearing where the main table was. No one’s left so you’re probably just gonna drop by the student centre to let them know or just email them a picture of your Easter basket that Sunghoon meticulously arranged.

There's a rush of excitement in you at the notion that one of their volunteers basically let you cheat off of the event. No one caught you and Sunghoon so they'd have nothing to prove until then. Besides, it takes them ages to actually send any prize anyways so funding would not be any different and possibly will have a longer process before approval.

“do you wanna grab a bite? we can discuss what to wear for the event then” you tug Sunghoon towards the banquet hall and he nods. You actually wanted to at least buy something there if he refused.

None of you talked as you saunter to the building where the hall is and you've actually appreciate the quietness. Being with Sunghoon who's not a talkative type of a person would've been relaxing if not for all the staring that you both get as you walk along the hallways.

“you’re quiet. are you tired? we can just head back” he asks worriedly after noticing you tightening your hold in his hand.

“nothing, it’s just..it’s stupid. ugh this is probably so normal for you” you ramble, avoiding his gauging gaze.

“it’s not if it’s bothering you” he insists and his words warm your chest.

“they can’t stop looking at you” you admit shyly, looking at Sunghoon briefly and a small grin replaces the worry in his face.

Great, you’re probably feeding his ego even more by admitting it.

“not just me” he replies, continuing his steps like he doesn’t notice the eyes that are boring at you both. What reason could they have to be staring at you? Sunghoon might be used to staring, but not you.

You've been feeling conscious as soon as it happened and it remained even as you order your supposed dinner. You told Sunghoon to find a table but he insists on staying with you. After you both got your trays your food, you beeline towards the rows of tables and fortunately found one near the windows, your preferred position here to see the view outside.

It's mostly lights but the stars are visible on the sky tonight.

“do you have an idea for the colours? if not, we can just go by the typical spring ones” you start so you’ll divert your attention to the important matter at hand instead of the lingering gazes around you.

None of the people here would think that you and Sunghoon just met in less than a few hours ago with the way you're both acting with one another. He holds your hand after unloading the food from the trays, flustering you to no end. You look like a couple to anyone's eyes with how affectionate he is. The comfort he gives you definitely helped ease the awkwardness you mostly have with strangers.

You could get used to this.

“I'll match whatever you pick”

In the end, you decide to go for a mix of pastel pink and some green while Sunghoon will match your dress with a black suit and a pastel green tie.

A true gentleman that he is, Sunghoon walked you to your dorms after. It’s already late at night when you both finished dinner — discussing the Easter egg hunt down to the origins of the holiday. You've told him what you learned growing up from a religious family and he in turn, told you the other versions of it.

The path towards the house that you share with four other girls is surrounded by trees. It’s relatively safe though since it's your university's student housing. Still, Sunghoon insisted on walking you for extra safety.

Right when you're nearing the door of your dorm, Sunghoon brings your hand that he’s holding up to kiss your knuckles. You're again taken aback, your heart racing since you weren't expecting this because you've hooked up already.

He really is different than other guys.

“you’re endearing,” you say before switching the Easter basket you're holding to your other hand. Staring into Sunghoon's eyes, you grab his neck to kiss him.

Sunghoon was surprised at first but immediately returned your kisses, placing his hand on your back to pull you closer. At this point, you feel like kissing one another is going to become a habit the way how natural it is for you both. You break the kiss to catch your breaths but also because you almost lost your balance (again) while kissing him.

"careful" he holds you steady, eyeing the Easter eggs inside the basket in your hand. You chuckle at his mild concern, finding him even more endearing with how attentive he is to them. Of course, you'd take care of it like a gift. Sunghoon made an effort to gather those for you even when he didn't have to, risking his volunteer position just to help you.

"thank you.." you drawl after letting out a small chuckle when his gaze returns to you. Eyes still lost in his, you're debating if you should say more but Sunghoon smiles, seeming to understand what you meant.

“I'll see you until then” he smiles fondly as he releases you. You can tell by his hesitant eyes that he doesn't wanna let go. You begin to miss his touches already as soon as he did, turning around with grace as he leaves the porch.

“wait, we didn’t exchange numbers!” you call for him and realization hits Sunghoon as soon as he heard you. He starts patting his pockets and his face morphs into panic when he can't feel his phone. He looks up at you with a defeated expression but you shake your head with a reassuring smile.

“oh, i must’ve left it somewhere. we were rushing earlier” he concludes calmly, trying to look composed but the embarrassment is apparent on his face even in the dark — his light complexion shows clearly how he abandoned his belongings because he was too focused on you.

"it's okay hoon, meet me here maybe about an hour and a half before it starts" you say excitedly, already thinking of the event which is going to be in three days.

It'll take you longer to get ready and you don't want to be late. The venue's outside your campus and although not far, you would like to be early to enjoy the candy bars and photo booth before everyone arrives.

And of course, more time with Sunghoon without much prying eyes. For sure, you'd have a deja vu and might bother you for the rest of the night.

"alright then, have a good night __" he shows that soft smile again and you respond with a quick "night, hoon".

Sunghoon turns, heading towards the main road while you wait until he's out of sight. Your mind's still processing the unexpected events of the day and the Easter season definitely surprised you. You couldn't believe you're out here sending off a man who you just met and hooked up like some girlfriend.

“girl who the fuck was that hottie?”

A loud voice belonging to one of your housemate, Aeri, booms behind you, breaking your thoughts.

You whirled around, clearly surprised and wondering if she's been behind the door the whole time.

“and why was he kissing you?” another voice, belonging to Karina follows as you and Aeri entered back into the house.

Yup, Aeri did sneak. Both her and Karina did through the window curtains.

“You got a man and never told us?!” Minjeong chimes in from the kitchen as soon as you all enter settle at the living room.

“not my man, just my date for the spring formal" you respond sheepishly, still overwhelmed at Sunghoon's parting gift and their rapid questions.

"I've never seen him before. where did you even meet him?" Yizhuo, who's coming down from upstairs, adds and the rest zero in on you for an answer.

"at the hunt" you quip, feeling defensive at this surprised interrogation. You know their questions are harmless, purely out of concern but you honestly haven't felt this way for so long.

For someone on that matter.

"damn, why have i not ever joined?" Aeri asks dramatically, shaking your shoulder which made you laugh. "I'm missing this whole time? next year it is" she says with determination before any of you could answer her.

"just today? or did you know him before?"

The laughter between you and Aeri ceases once Karina followed another question. She's looking at you suspiciously and Aeri looks unsure on what to do next. Yizhuo's still torn whether to but in or not.

Out of all, Karina's the only one who can actually confront you but you're too happy to deal with their prodding questions right now.

"we shared a class last year" you lie through your teeth. They didn't seem convinced with your clipped answer, eventually letting it go once Minjeong called them for dinner.

You followed to greet Minjeong and excused yourself to your bedroom, telling them that you had dinner with Sunghoon already before coming home. As you leave, you didn't miss the way Karina's eyes lingering you on your figure or Yizhuo's subtle indifference at your little story.

Only Aeri seems to be unbothered, her focus solely on the food Minjeong prepared.

.

Before going to bed, you checked your socials to try finding Sunghoon. Since you didn't get to have his number, its the only way you'd be able to communicate for the spring formal. It's not that you didn't trust that he's not going to show up; you just like being ready in case of emergencies. It's the most basic form of communication especially that you're bringing a date — meaning you'd have more things to prepare for.

You contemplated asking your housemates, maybe just Aeri or Minjeong but you don't want to hear any type of scolding if ever. None of them outright showed it compared to the other two but you can feel the slight judgment when you told them about Sunghoon.

You're aware that it might be too soon to invite him as a date when you just met. But on the other hand, some people literally hook up once and maintained some sort of connection whether that'd be friendship or something more. You and Sunghoon are still strangers to one another, yes, but that’s the reason why you invited him to the spring formal.

To get to know him better. And for your friends to meet him.

You never cared before, not really. Never cared what your friends would think about them. Barely any guy gets your interest enough for you to meet them again after the first time. Whether it's a simple chat or sharing a night together, no one was able to maintain your hold on them.

Sunghoon however, was different. Yes, you were instantly attracted the moment you saw but you're more intrigued with how peculiar his ways are compared to other boys. Sure you've met boys on the quieter side, there are ones that almost are like him too with how they treat you. However, it's Sunghoon's tenderness that sets him apart from the rest.

It’s definitely a part of his charms that he may be using on you this whole time.

And you’re falling too easily on them.

You don't mind though. This chance is too rare for you to pass. For once you're finally considering dating if things go well with Sunghoon during the event.

After a while, you gave up searching for his socials. You've forgotten to ask for his last name at least. It would've been easier to look for his accounts. You've looked through people's mutual friends as well, trying out every combination with his first name but to no avail.

It doesn’t matter. You have a date to prepare for and you’ve got three days until then. Sunghoon will show up. He never showed you any indication that he wouldn't. He was even hesitant when he left.

You're going to hold on to that until then.

Looking for a dress went better than you expected. Haunting dresses in boutiques on your own felt a little adventurous. You only have this option really because you wouldn’t get it on time if you purchase online. Thankfully, you found one that matches the theme and is up to your taste. It’s a floor length halter dress with a pleated corset in baby pink colour, with flowers and light green leaves as a pattern.

You hope Sunghoon would like it. Make no mistake, you picked this for yourself but unlike past events, you have a date this time that you wanted to impress. You'd have to make an effort to keep up with Sunghoon's beauty although it wouldn't be a big deal to him. He crossed your mind several times while searching for dresses, wishing he was with you during the process.

You can't wait to see him again.

The remaining days until the event consisted of you going home and your dorms back-and-forth. Your housemates are staying around even if their exams are over to wait for the spring formal. The awkward tension that surrounded you all vanished the next day. Part of it was that you haven't mentioned Sunghoon ever since and they've been cautious too.

You've done shopping and getting pampered with them which was always fun, something you'll miss once summer starts. None of them every stay, going on summer vacations every year which leaves you the caretaker of the house from time to time since you stay in the country during those months.

Your parents found out of the Spring event at the last minute and your Mom panicked. You reassured her by catching her up everything, completely skipping the part that you almost didn’t get any tickets for you and Sunghoon. Thankfully, you knew someone that could help. Jungwon, one of your former mentee, is currently part of the campus council and was able to score you late bird tickets with a discount.

The day of the spring formal finally arrives and you’re more nervous than you anticipated. You've stayed with your housemates the night before just to prepare, waking up the earliest among them which surprises the girls since you’re usually the latest.

“calm down girl, you look great!”

Aeri cheers you on as she finishes her makeup touch ups by the hallway mirror. You smiled at her gratefully, the other girls parroting the same thing.

It's not about how you look that you were worried about. You do think you look great today. A stupid reason but negative thoughts have been popping up your mind as soon as you wake up. Prepping distracted you but they've returned as soon as you're done. Since you had no way of contacting Sunghoon, a little part of your brain thinks that he might be late or worse, not show up.

“You have nothing to worry about. I used to overthink a lot before but Jaewook came through”

Despite Karina's indifference of Sunghoon as your date, she kept reassuring you, noticing how anxious you've been since this morning.

“Yeah, Heeseung and Jay will most likely be the latest to pick us up” Minjeong chimes in as she ties the strap of her heels around her ankles. “Might not be! Jay’s actually punctual when needed,” Yizhuo smiles cheerfully as she defends her date. She's sitting beside Minjeong who's scrolling on her phone, typing furiously to her date, you're guessing.

“thank you girlies” you looked at each of them with another wave of appreciation.

They’re right. You should only focus on positive things today to avoid any misfortune on your way. Small talks resumed between you and your housemates, about the dresses and everyone's predictions of which clubs will earn awards for tonight's spring formal event.

Then a doorbell ring disrupts your conversation.

"oooo i think it's him!" Minjeong throws her phone on the couch and excitedly parts the curtains to see who it was on the porch.

She's right. Opening the door revealed Sunghoon, the first to arrive out of all your dates. He's dressed in a black tuxedo with matching pink polo shirt underneath and peering from his breast pocket is a light green pocket square handkerchief.

He looks nervous but it all vanishes as soon as he sees you.

“you look breathtaking” he says first, eyes locked on your first then they down to the dress you're wearing.

"so do you.."

You're awestruck at how gorgeous Sunghoon is today. His natural beauty had you smitten when you first saw him but he's extra hot with the straightened, slicked back hair. Gone were the perms that made him look adorable and your thrilled to meet this side of him.

"greetings to you ladies" he says softly, sweeping his eyes at your housemates before bowing with such grace.

The girls of course are stunned, just like how you were when you first met Sunghoon. Yizhuo hits Aeri's arms with a giggle, who's smiling so brightly at your date while Karina gives you teasing eyes and Minjeong wiggles her eyebrows at you both.

Certainly the opposite reaction than before. Maybe it's because they've finally heard his voice and see him up close.

"we'll go ahead guys, see you at the venue!" you circle your arm around Sunghoon's as you both head outside. The girls wave their goodbyes from the couch, just lounging while waiting for their dates to pick them up. It's still early but Sunghoon actually arrived at the time that you both agreed on.

Another plus point.

Sunghoon assists you as you both walk down the cemented path of the neighbourhood. The long walk is a bit of a hassle due to your heels plus the long trail of your dress but it's manageable. When you both reach the parking lot, that's when you see a white luxury car waiting by the spot nearest to the parking gate.

The sight of the car made you pause on your steps, trying hard to hide your surprise. Judging on Sunghoon's elegant manners and the way he dresses himself, you've had a hunch that he could be rich the first time you met him. However, seeing this luxurious car and the driver in uniform inside, you didn't think he'd be this rich. That must've been why you couldn't find him on online. He probably doesn't have any social media. People from wealthy families often not want to be on the public eye for many reasons.

The driver comes out and greets you both then opening the car door. He gestures you to hop in but Sunghoon stops you.

"Hold on, I have something for you."

He unclasps your arm around his left elbow then takes your hand to put on a flower corsage on your wrist. It matches the pocket square that he has, light green petals with small pearls adorning the wire. 

"hoon, this is so pretty" you muse, turning your wrist around after he's done. You quickly retrieve your phone from your evening bag, putting your palm against Sunghoon's chest to take a picture.

"i made it," he confessed and your eyes widened. "really? what can't you do huh?" you tease and he only smiles, guiding you to enter the car and following after. Openly flirting with Sunghoon may look pointless but his shy smiles and blushed cheeks are enough for you even if he doesn't flirt back directly.

The ride was pretty quick. Sunghoon held your hand the whole time while many thoughts cross your mind. One of them with you wondering if Sunghoon owns this car or just rented it. Based on his conversations with the driver, he might be Sunghoon's personal one but you didn't ask. Not that it mattered since it's just a random thought. He's here to drop you and Sunghoon off, nothing more.

Your date got off first before opening his hand for you to take. You turn to the driver to thank him and he only responded with a curt smile as you get off the car.

Not many students have arrived at the venue yet so you're relieved to be the first ones.

Watching them however, makes your stomach churn. Something roots you to where you're standing.

"let's go inside?"

Sunghoon asks you softly but you don't look at him. You had a feeling that he wanted to ask you more but he doesn't press on it and just waits for you to tell him.

"I'm a bit nervous, hoon. i haven't gone to this in a while" you shyly admit, a bit frustrated that you let it takeover your excitement for today. Sunghoon holds your hand immediately, willing you to look at him. "I'll never leave your side", he reassures you again with his words and if it weren't for your makeup, you're sure he would've caressed your cheeks too.

True to his word, Sunghoon stayed by your side the entire time. He snakes an arm around your waist as you enter the venue and you've calmed down. His presence have always been comforting, much more when he touches you. Everyone sneaks a glance at you both, some subtle, some outright. It made you smile, feeling a bit secured that you've managed to get him as your date.

When you reach the reception table, Sunghoon excuses himself to the washroom. You've reminded him where your seating table was before he leaves and he nodded. Turning to the table, you've noticed the attendants looking at Sunghoon but shifted their eyes to you with an awkward smile.

"Sorry but he's not on the system," the girl tells you, clicking away the mouse to find Sunghoon's name after you told her.

That's odd. You've managed to ask him his last name earlier so you can tag him on your posts later.

"It's Park Sunghoon. I'm sure it's there, please check again" you hurriedly tell her after spotting Sunghoon emerging from the corner. He walks to your designated table, patiently sitting down to wait for you.

The lines are getting longer as the students flock the reception table for the attendants to check their tickets and register.

“is everything alright?” he asks worriedly, pulling the chair beside him for you to sit down. But you didn't because you're in a rush.

“did you bring your ID perchance? i didn’t but they couldn’t find your name” you ask, truly wondering how they can find yours and not his. Since he was one of the staff at the Easter egg hunt, he's probably more involved than you so there's no way he’s not in the system.

“no, didn’t think we’d have to” he answers without much thought. “should we head back there? i should’ve stayed with you then” he adds, sounding regretful.

Both you and Sunghoon did and like other students who’ve stolen glances at your date, the girl behind the table was no different.

She’s awestruck at seeing him up close, like how you were when you first saw Sunghoon in the forest. You felt a little conscious because she was only looking at him without giving you any regard so you had no choice but to put your hand on Sunghoon’s chest.

This caught the girls attention who then smiled brightly at you; courtesy or embarrassment that you caught her ogling your date. With the way she’s looking at him, you wonder if she even remembered you from earlier.

Sunghoon’s surprised at your hand on his chest, turning to you with the little corner of his lip curling upwards.

"family name is Park, kindly check again" he says while looking only at you. His soft voice accompanying his politeness was enough for the girl to just nod, her smile widening but it somehow irritates you a bit.

"you can just register him as a guest right? we wouldn't want to be an inconvenience" you say, looking back at the line of people waiting to check in with tickets in their hands.

"don't worry, he's all good! i hope you enjoy the event!" she exclaims, more joyous than ever, her eyes only lingering on Sunghoon. You've circled your arm again with his, dragging him back inside the hall.

You didn't miss Sunghoon trying to stifle his laugh but he never bothered confronting you which you truly appreciate. Whatever he found funny during the entire interaction is none of your business. The problem was settled so you should just enjoy the night and this lovely time with Sunghoon.

It might be the last time you'll see him.

Even though you both seem to be comfortable with each other, you technically only met and talked twice. You don’t know much about each other yet and you’ve been planning to change that tonight.

Instead of returning to your table, you pulled Sunghoon towards the photo booth area. You’re the type that treasures memories a lot, therefore, pictures are important. Sunghoon has not said a word since you both arrived at the booth but he follows your whims with all the poses that the photographer recommended.

“perfect! you looked good together!” the photographer cheers on and Sunghoon’s hold on your waist tightens. Your heart beats fast as well, the idea of you and Sunghoon being a couple warms your chest.

You just met for goodness sake, why are you already thinking in advance?

Sunghoon surprises you when he kisses your cheek, the same time as the countdown ended for another picture.

“thank you, very much for this” Sunghoon says in a very sincere way as he stares at the pictures on the screen. You’re busy picking which poses to fit in the frame but you noticed that the photographer sounded touched. “please, it’s just part of my job but thank you”

Usually, it takes so long for you to pick which poses to include but Sunghoon looks great in every picture. Finalizing the photos turned quick, all credits to your date but you look like you could keep up with him too.

“here are the copies, one strip for you and your boyfriend”

Your cheeks warmed at the photographer's insinuation. You're about to object but Sunghoon hasn't said anything, only taking hos copy from the machine. You follow his suit, smiling gratefully at the photographer as you take your copy.

“thank you again”

You take Sunghoon’s hand in yours as you leave the photo booth area. He intertwines your fingers, caressing your hand with his thumb finger.

“do you want to walk around? we have couple of minutes before it starts” you beam against him, smiling so wide, the remarks of the photographer still lingering in your mind.

“you’re feet are okay, right?” he asks, looking down at your ankles. The only way he could see your heels was through the slit of your dress mid thigh, something Sunghoon appreciated with the way he’s gaze lingered at your exposed skin.

“please hoonie, I'm used to walking in them” you tease, parting your dress further so he can see more of your thigh. Sunghoon was fighting to not break his composure, struggling to stop his attempt at biting his lip as he stared at it and then you.

The other pairs of students that were assigned to the same table as you have also arrived and you all introduce yourselves with one another. Sunghoon might be a shy person but he was pretty engaged with anyone who talked to him. It probably helped that his hand was holding your bare thigh as comfort.

You can feel how cold his palm was at first, trembling a little until you put your hand over his.

"thank you, love" he leans in to whisper in your ear, kneading the meat of your thigh.

"of course hoon," you smiled at him, wanting to kiss him right then and there if it weren't for the other students at your table. You wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable with your public display of affection.

There will be plenty of those later.

You noticed someone waving at you over Sunghoon’s shoulders, Yizhuo with her date who must be Jay.

Sunghoon turns to the pair, looking at them longer than you expected. You then realized that it's the Jay you shared shared in a class last semester. He meets your eye and smiles politely, then he shifts his gaze on the man beside you.

His inquisitive eyes are squinting as the smile on his handsome face drops.

Classic Park Jongseong.

Park. His last name from what you remember last semester.

He shares the last name with Sunghoon then. It’s a common last name so there’s a possibility that they’re not related or wouldn’t know each other.

Maybe there won’t be any harm to ask if he knows of Sunghoon. If not, then your date could use a new friend. You haven’t seen Sunghoon with any of his friends. The topic never came up in your conversations but you realize that he hasn't greeted anyone since arriving here.

Before you can get up and pull Sunghoon with you to approach another table where the rest of your housemates are, someone calls your name from behind.

“do you wanna dance? if that's okay with your date of course”

Sunoo's a good friend of yours who you've shared many courses with before due to you both being in the same program. He's always been lovely and is down to your spontaneous study dates. Asking you to dance so you two would be the first ones on the dance floor is just one of his whims.

“you asked me, remember? so he’ll be fine with it” you turned to Sunghoon who’s staring at Sunoo with guarded eyes. He shifts his eyes at you and gives a hesitant smile. His reaction confused you. He couldn’t still be shy right?

Unless…

Sunoo opened his hand for you to take, giving Sunghoon a strange look like he’s studying him subtly. As soon as you got up and walked towards the centre of the dance floor, you couldn’t help but voice out the question that’s been bothering you.

"noo, why were you looking at my date like that?" you ask, truly confused with their interaction. You were still thinking of the small interaction between Sunghoon and Jay earlier. Now you'd have to add this one too.

"i was just trying to see if I've seen him somewhere," he answered, stealing a glance at Sunghoon on the table.

“don’t you know each other? he also volunteered for the Easter egg hunt” you press on, your browse crunching in deep confusion. Your brain’s trying to wrack up everything you remember on the day of the hunt.

“no, did he participate? he’s not one of the volunteers for sure. i would’ve remembered his face during the workshop”

Sunoo’s answer made your body freeze. Your heart's starting to beat faster, your fitted dress starting to feel suffocating — the plated parts caging your abdomen. Your breathing's changing, the nerves are catching up on you.

“smile, he’s watching. everyone is since we're obviously the best” you didn’t realize that you were gripping Sunoo’s shoulders for the past few seconds. You're obviously nervous and tried to play it cool so he won’t suspect any but he's giving you a knowing look.

That's what Sunoo is the best at — reading people. He's one of the smartest in your year for a reason.

You then realize the face that you must've been making, revealing what you truly think of your date in front of your friend. You close your eyes to calm yourself a little, taking a deep breathe before asking Sunoo the questions that have been in the back of your mind since the hunt.

"the eggs..are they shiny? glass like and in pastel colours?" you start, hoping for Sunoo to nod but he only raises a brow at you.

"we literally bought the typical Easter eggs from the dollar store, you know, the bright and patterned ones" he answers, the sassiness in his tone apparent now with how your questions have sounded ridiculous in his ears.

The eggs you had didn't look like any of those that Sunoo described.

"what's wrong? did you even manage to get any eggs? i saw you before you left to the forest and you didn't look interested at the event at all"

You'd wish Sunoo would stop talking. He's exposing you like this when Sunghoon or even anyone could be listening. The music's not so loud and you're both far from everyone but you didn't want to risk anything. Not until you can confirm what you just found out.

All these have started to overwhelm you and you're glad Sunoo's here to keep you grounded. You know he's been suspicious this entire time, just masking all of it unlike you who couldn't even handle any of this information.

This is not how you want this night to go.

"i got some eggs. s-special ones actually" you mutter, your voice shaky and Sunoo's eyes twitch a bit as soon as he hears it. You knew he's been trying to act normal as much as he can but hearing your voice is the last straw. The music's almost ending but you don't feel like going back to your table yet.

You want to stay here for a couple of minutes to calm down and gather your thoughts before facing Sunghoon again.

"everyone, please take a seat. the opening ceremony's about to begin"

Sunoo's eyes meet your nervous ones and reluctantly releases you as you near your table. His bright smile never changed but his grip on you tightened, almost like he doesn't want to let you go. You had no choice but to go back now because of the announcement. However, you spotted the washroom sign by the corner and you found your escape.

You immediately grab your evening bag as soon as you're out of his grasp.

Sunoo's words didn't fully sink in until you hear Sunghoon calling your name.

"are you okay? did something happen?" Sunghoon's concerned voice momentarily stops you and you force yourself to act normal. He eyes Sunoo behind you and that's when you put your hand on his chest to get his attention back on you.

"everything's fine, hoon! I'll be right back" your voice came out chirpier than you intended so he can tell you're in distress despite the smile you were trying to put up.

"let me come with you"

"no need, I'm okay i swear" you insist but Sunghoon's not convinced.

"i have to make sure you're okay," he says, voice full of worry while the confusion is obvious in his pretty face. You almost felt bad for suddenly treating him like this. Despite what's going on, he's still prioritizing your comfort.

It could be his last effort, you think.

Sunghoon was already suspicious of Sunoo earlier and you were failing to be inconspicuous. Plus, you don't want to get the attention of the other couples at your table.

One of them's already looking warily at you and Sunghoon. You smiled at them for reassurance, thankfully they reciprocated and returned their attention to their partner. You turned to Sunghoon and nodded, leaving your table hastily so you both could return quickly.

It'll be time to eat after and they'll call the table numbers one by one. Your table is in the middle of the order so you still have time. Nevertheless, you just want to be surrounded with other people as soon as possible.

You rush to the mirror as soon as you reach the washroom while Sunghoon closes the door. Closing your eyes, you force yourself to focus and fix your composure.

Fear looms you as soon as you feel Sunghoon focusing on you.

"you look troubled while dancing with sunoo" he starts as he nears you. The mention of your friend's name almost choked you on your breath, bringing back your conversation earlier where you've heard his answers the first time.

"it's not him. it's just.. one of those times" you try to explain but your heart's been hammering since being alone here with Sunghoon. You had a hunch that he already knows what's up based on your behaviour earlier.

You'll try to act normal at least.

"is there anything i can do to make you feel better?" he asks, voice becoming gentle again as he scans your face. You meet his eyes for the first time since hearing all the answers from Sunoo and you're beyond conflicted. Sunghoon genuinely looks worried at your sudden change of behaviour but you couldn't confirm if he figured you out already.

Maybe you still can keep this up.

"you being here is enough hoonie" the nickname encourages Sunghoon to come near you, taking a hold of your elbows to pull you towards him. You stare into his eyes once more, hoping that he'll see the need in your gaze.

Sunghoon steps closer and your eyes shifts down to his shiny lips, the ones that lured you into him the first time you met. He starts leaning when you don't move away, his lips nearing yours but never pushed further.

"let me make you feel better" he whispers against your lips, hands slowly rubbing your elbows. You can feel Sunghoon's desperation to touch you further but you haven’t given him any permission yet so he didn't.

Still polite.

Relief courses through you at the thought. At least, that never seems to change. You could use this as an opportunity, giving him a false sense of security now then he might be vulnerable enough later for you to confront him with the truth.

Smiling as you nod, you wrap your arms around Sunghoon's shoulders. He took this as a sign to hug you fully, rubbing your back for comfort. While doing so, he slowly backs you up until your ass hits the edge of the sink, releasing him from your arms.

Sunghoon's hand comes up to grab the side of your neck, pulling your face closer to his. You're expecting a kiss so you close your eyes, only for him to pull back. Instead, you feel his other hand lifts the hemline of your slit, his fingers brushing against your exposed skin.

“hoon not here…” short gasps escape you at his bold move. Granted the first time he had you was out in the open but this is different. The risk of getting caught is higher with many people nearby.

“not yet love, but don't worry, i will be quick” he reassures you, turning your body around to face the mirror. You didn't protest as Sunghoon meets your eyes through the reflection, looking thrilled to make you feel better.

His hand returns, slipping inside your dress to palm your thigh in one go. Locating your bud right away, he briefly touches it before the tips of his fingers trace along your clothed opening. Sunghoon's studying your face for any other reaction aside from the arousal emerging on your features.

Your body's squirming by being flushed against his and you berate yourself. You're soaked even before Sunghoon starts touching you. He just had that effect on your body that it almost made you forget everything you learned since arriving here at the venue.

Sunghoon sticks to his words, sliding your undies to the side and slipping his fingers in as soon as he deemed that you're wet enough. His pace is slow at first, allowing your walls to get used it but he gradually increases his speed.

"tight..because you're tense. let's loosen it up a bit, yeah?" he notes fondly, his breath fanning along the shell of your ear. He curves his fingers, reaching deeper in your caverns. You've been trying to roll your hips slowly to meet his thrusts but Sunghoon's holding your waist firmly, wanting you to just take what he's giving you at the moment.

His actual plan, that's why he followed you here.

Your moans are increasing in volume but Sunghoon's not covering your mouth to stifle it like you thought he would. Maybe he does want other people to catch him fingering you here. It's clear that he has a thing on it and you've grown to have it as well.

"hoon..there..there..fuck" your hands grabbed his neck for support and Sunghoon groans now that your ass rubbing against his crotch. He tried to put a distance between your bodies since his goal is to only make you cum but you don't care about anything other than his fingers inside your cunt right now.

You managed to switch your moans into quiet whimpers but Sunghoon's fingertips brushed your spongy spot and you're back to zero. Sunghoon notices though since he's been muffling his own sounds by mouthing your neck. His grip on your waist tightens the same way your cunt's clenching erratically around his digits.

You're so wet that apart from the minimal voices you and Sunghoon try to maintain, the squelching noises from your pussy echoes throughout the washroom walls. Someone could knock at any minute and you're praying that Sunghoon at least locked the doors.

"come on, love, let go for me"

Sunghoon's words strike multiples inside you. Both for letting go of your moans and your wary inhibitions of him. Not long after, your breathing starts getting heavier, throat dry from swallowing your moans. Few pumps of his fingers and you're unraveling in front of his eyes.

You tried to keep your eyes open but the rough pads of Sunghoon's fingers have paid special attention to your pulsing bud. Your eyes ended up rolling at the back of your head, your lips swollen now with the times you bit it to keep yourself from screaming his name out loud.

"can't..anymore.." you whimper, feeling like collapsing in his arms.  You took a glimpse at Sunghoon and he's watching you with awe, still sliding his fingers in and out slowly as you ride out your high. Your knees buckle at its intensity and if it weren't for Sunghoon cradling your body, you would've fallen forward.

He removes his fingers slowly when he feels your body twitching a little. You watch all his actions through the mirror, a whine eager to come out of you as soon as he slips his coated fingers into his mouth to taste your juices.

"sweet, like i know you will" he smiles after and releases you, helping you sit on the marbled surface beside the sink.

Sunghoon proceeds to wash his hands, retrieving some tissues after to clean you up. Your body's still shaking from the intense orgasm he just gave you, breathing heavily as you lazily spread your legs. Sunghoon parts your dress, staring at your ruined panties for a bit before his eyes zeroes in on your core.

His tall frame bends and meticulously wipes your core and legs, making sure that your dress didn't get any stains. His hands are shaking a little and you can see his inner struggle to not reinsert his fingers and fuck you here.

Sunghoon's sweet and that remained constant since the first time you met. Too sweet in other people's eyes if they find out that you haven't known each other long enough.

"i haven't been honest to you" he starts as soon as he finishes cleaning you up.

"about what hoon?" you're relaxed now like Sunghoon intended you to be. You're more collected thanks to him but your apprehension from earlier is still around. Ironic really when he's the reason why you were in shambles in the first place.

You wait for Sunghoon as he stands straight. He looks nervous and couldn't meet your gaze.

"I'm not what you think i am"

His admission surprises you. Out of guilt or probably, you were too obvious this whole time so he had no choice.

"what do you mean hoon? obviously you're not or i wouldn't be in this event with you"

Your tone was neutral but your after remarks could send a different message. This is the most nonchalant you've ever acted and you're just hoping to be convincing. Beckoning Sunghoon closer, he followed without breaking eye contact.

Damn those beautiful dark brown eyes.

"I'm different. not your kind" he continues, studying your face to figure out what you're thinking.

Sunghoon's confirmation should've shaken you up but it never did. Because you had no reason to fear him. He's never shown any indications that other people would consider otherwise, an abnormal behaviour. He's just odd, with even weirder habits. When he told you that he's different, you only thought it was just part of his quirkiness. You know, closeted rich boys with weird kinks so you played along even when you didn't really believe him.

"i don't understand"

"allow me to explain?" he offers, the hint of panic in his tone.

You got off the sink with his help to fix yourself. You're both facing the vanity mirror again, with Sunghoon returning to hold your waist tightly. You've noticed how his eyes seem a little different and the smile he's wearing, it's not in a threatening way but his sharp incisors spiked your heart a bit.

“you wouldn’t hurt me right?” you ask cautiously, gauging his reaction to your question. He didn't even get to start with his explanation yet but you need to know. There's no point going in circles. Whatever is happening, you need to hear those words just in case.

“hurt you? i would never dare to, darling” he sounds slightly offended at your assumption.

Sunghoon pulls you closer to him again, your body naturally melted in his arms right away. The notion terrified you a bit even if he reassured you already. It's basically a promise and he's never broken any of them so far.

"o-okay" you hate that you stuttered because Sunghoon might interpret it differently. Your heartbeats begin picking up, your throat closing up due to the wave of anxiousness suddenly hitting you.

You need to leave.

However, Sunghoon wraps his one arm around your waist, hugging your body flushed to his. He presses a kiss on your bare shoulder then noses your neck, inhaling your scent until he reaches the top of your jawline.

You're not sure if he can sense your nerves but you succumb to his touches. Not that it's difficult. You'd have to until you can send a text to Sunoo. Your hand itches to grab your phone from your evening bag, eyeing it desperately. However, Sunghoon rubs your stomach gently, distracting you from your plan. Draping your arm above his, you close your palm around his hand.

You're unsure of what Sunghoon is planning. Despite his comforting touches, your heart palpitates once again. He nudges your jaw to pay attention to him again so you meet his eyes through the mirror.

And they're gleaming with something darker than you anticipated.

“you said you’re already mine and i intend to keep it that way”

e/n: i haven't written this long since 2021 and it's also the first time that i wrote for a singular POV with this fic length but i hope it's okay! it’s still spring and easter's technically not over until pentecost in june so…

[minhaemin]

Mate Me (M)

pairing. alpha heeseung x female omega reader

wc. 20k

warnings. Alpha/Omega dynamics, miscommunication, angst, heejay fight, jealousy, tension, smut, dubcon, rut sex, very rough & unprotected sex, breeding/pregnancy kink, possessive behavior, heeseung Alpha’ing the fuck out, alcohol mentioned, self-torture, restraints, blood, masturbation, scenting, marking, biting, love confessions, he’s a simp🫩, big dick heeseung, knot fucking, squirting, oral, fingering. minors DNI.

preview—

Heeseung has to bite down on the backs of his teeth to stop himself from calling you cute for the thousandth time. Everything you do is so fucking cute. It’s ridiculous how endeared he feels watching you do the most mundane of things. The way you nervously scratch your nose, how much you whine when he stares at you for too long, and how often you raid his closet in search of his comfiest most oversized clothing that all sits too loose on you. 

He’s..obsessed, to put it lightly.

“Ugh, you’re doing it again.”

Shaking his head and rapidly blinking his eyes, he apologizes. Rubbing at his nape as you scratch your nose. “Hard not to stare when you show up in my favorite hoodie.”

“Oh? You want it back?” You grin mischievously, skirting around him. Leaning in close to whisper against his ear. “Gonna have to fight me for it, Alpha.”

You’ll really be the death of him.

That’s the problem. You are really a problem, ever since your heat broke out a month ago, he’s been fighting you everyday. Fighting himself to control his Alpha, to ignore the venom acidic burn running through his canine teeth. The desire to claim you, never hear his friends question how he is the one that landed you.

You belong to him, there’s no need to question it.

And yet, here he is, too scared to tell you the truth..

Read On Ao3–>

[minhaemin]

Touch of madness

Synopsis☞ Working as a doctor for an asylum was interesting, you had different patients, but one catches your eyes..Yang jungwon a very special patient..

Contains☞ Slow burn, kissing, make out, healing, angst, fluff, unprotected sex, swearing, mentions of killing (a little bit).

W.C☞ 12k..?

Nef notes☞ New jungwon fic based on the CONCEPT PHOTOS, HOLY SHIT, THEY WHERE SO GEWDDD TOO GEEWED! anyways here's some serial killer jungwon, when I saw him hold the chainsaw I had to!..love y'all, reblogs, likes and comments are good for me! feel free to comment!Hope you guys enjoy it (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

The heavy steel door groaned as it closed behind you, a familiar finality echoing off the cold tile walls. The fluorescent lights above buzzed, flickering slightly, casting sterile white over the hallway. The South Wing of the Seoul Psychiatric Detention Center wasn’t a place many dared to linger. Especially not near Room 313.

You weren’t supposed to be here past shift change. But rules had blurred long ago, the first time you made eye contact with Jungwon through that reinforced glass.

He had been transferred under high-security conditions, a 19-year-old with a rap sheet that read like a horror script—four confirmed murders, two suspected, and a trail of evidence so compelling the prosecution hadn’t even bothered with a plea deal. But he was too young for full incarceration. The court ordered psychiatric evaluation instead. Which meant, for now, he belonged in your world.

The first time you'd seen him, he was barefoot, cuffs around his ankles and wrists, still smiling like he'd just walked out of a nightclub. A smile that felt... wrong in all the right ways. Not deranged. Not hollow. But calculated. Charming. Disarming.

You remember looking into his eyes and realizing something terrifying: He knew what you were thinking before you did.

“You’re back early,” his voice drawled through the bars as you stepped into his observation cell.

“I’m late, actually,” you corrected, clutching the clipboard tighter than necessary.

“Late,” he repeated, then slowly sat up from the cot, the faintest sound of chains shifting. “To see me. You know how that makes me feel?”

Your throat dried slightly. You were trained for this. You had degrees, certifications, and months of supervised fieldwork. And still, Jungwon made you feel like the one under observation.

“I’m not here for you,” you said, eyes flicking to the notes in your folder. “Routine wellness check.”

He tilted his head, a slow smirk pulling at his lips.

“You say that every time, Y/N.”

He said your name like a secret he enjoyed unwrapping. Like he had every intention of breaking the rules just to whisper it again.

You didn’t flinch. You’d learned by now that flinching was like blood in the water. But you didn’t have to say anything either, because he leaned forward, elbows on knees, voice dropping.

“Why don’t you tell me the truth, angel?” he purred. “You like watching me. I can feel it when your eyes linger.”

“I watch all the patients.”

“But I’m your favorite.”

You opened your mouth—to deny, to scold, you weren’t sure—but his gaze locked onto yours, and your breath caught.

“I see the way you hesitate outside the glass,” he said softly. “Like you’re trying to convince yourself not to come in.”

He wasn’t wrong. And that’s what made you furious.

Jungwon didn’t just enjoy mind games. He thrived on them. He read body language like poetry. He saw lies like they were highlighted in red.

And lately… he’d turned his attention entirely on you.

You told yourself it was part of the job—understanding him, empathizing just enough to build rapport. You told yourself you weren’t addicted to the electric pull between you, the way his words made your skin feel too tight. You told yourself he didn’t matter.

But that didn’t explain why you started staying past hours.

Didn’t explain why you read his files late into the night, fingers tracing over crime scene photos not in horror—but fascination.

Didn’t explain why, when he smiled, you sometimes smiled back.

“You’re not like them,” he said one night, voice low and silken as rain tapped the windows behind him.

“Like who?”

“The ones who try to fix me. You’re just trying to understand.”

“That’s my job.”

“No, Y/N,” he said, dragging out every syllable. “Your job is to document. But you? You want to know.”

Your silence gave you away.

“And the more you know,” he added, “the more you’ll crave.”

You swallowed. “And what is it I’m supposed to be craving, Jungwon?”

He stood, the chains dragging faintly. There was only a short distance between you now, four thick bars and a lifetime of poor decisions.

“Me,” he whispered.

You tried to pull away. You tried reassignment, switching shifts, working longer with less sleep. It didn’t matter. Jungwon’s voice echoed even in your dreams.

And he noticed.

“You’re not sleeping,” he said one day as you delivered meds to his cell. “Eyes puffy. Little tremble in your hand.”

“I’m fine.”

“You miss me.”

You laughed bitterly. “You’re psychotic.”

He leaned closer. “You keep saying that like it’s a turn-off.”

You hated him. You hated how he saw through everything. And you hated yourself for letting him.

But somewhere between your duty and his obsession, you started wanting the monster.

It came to a head during a lockdown.

A riot broke out in the North Wing. The facility went red-zone, sirens blaring. You were doing rounds, and when the security doors slammed, you were locked in with Jungwon.

The overhead buzzed: “Remain in place. Doors will reopen once clearance is verified.”

You stared at the cell. His door hadn’t locked. Malfunctioning latch. Classic.

And he was watching you. Uncuffed. Smiling. Beautiful and terrifying and real.

“You’re afraid,” he murmured, stepping out of the shadow.

“Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can scream.”

He took a step closer. “And they won’t come.”

Your back hit the wall.

He stopped in front of you, eyes unreadable now. The game dropped. Something deeper took its place.

“I could hurt you,” he said softly.

“I know.”

“I don’t want to.”

You exhaled shakily. “Then don’t.”

His fingers brushed your wrist.

“Say it,” he whispered. “Say you want this too.”

You didn’t answer.

But you didn’t pull away either.

The kiss was a chemical explosion.

Your hand tangled in the back of his shirt. His lips crashed into yours with fury and restraint, like he wanted to consume you and worship you all at once. You felt teeth, breath the heat he tasted like everything you weren’t supposed to have.

And you let him.

Because the worst part of all this wasn’t that he was a killer.

It was that he made you feel more alive than anyone ever had.

After that, there was no going back.

Late-night visits turned into touches beneath the table. A stolen moment when security cameras glitched. Fingertips brushing across your waist when no one was looking.

You kept his secrets. He kept your sanity.

But the guilt grew.

The lines blurred.

The closer you got to him, the more he opened up. About the pain. The voices. The fear of abandonment that grew claws. He wasn’t proud of what he’d done—but he didn’t regret it either.

“They deserved it,” he told you once. “They hurt people. And no one stopped them.”

“And you think that makes you better?”

He looked at you with those molten eyes.

“No,” he said. “It makes me honest.”

The night you lost control entirely, it was raining.

You’d received notice that Jungwon was being transferred. Maximum security prison. No more therapy. No more contact.

You broke protocol.

You snuck in, unlocked the gate, and stepped into his arms like it was the only place left on Earth that made sense.

“You came,” he whispered.

“I had to.”

There were no more words after that.

Only lips. Tongues. Whispers. Skin. Your body pressed to his, heat searing the cold walls. Chains rattling against the rhythm of your sin. You let him take you, and you took him in return. Like sinners. Like lovers. Like two people who knew they’d burn for this but didn’t care.

He made you cry. He made you scream. He made you feel.

And when he held you after, breathless and shaking, you realized the truth:

You didn’t love him despite the madness.

You loved him because of it.

They found you the next morning, asleep in his arms.

You were stripped of your position. The media swarmed. Your name went viral as "The Angel Who Fell for the Devil."

But he never testified against you.

In fact, he whispered only one thing during his final hearing.

“I would kill for her again.”

Six months later, a body was found near a broken fence line.

Security footage was corrupted.

An empty guard uniform was missing.

And the last thing the night watchman heard before the cameras went dead?

A voice, low and cocky, whispering through static:

“Told you she’d come back for me.”

The motel room was too quiet.

Faded floral curtains. Cheap, flickering light. One bed. A single ticking clock on the wall.

Jungwon stood by the window, shirtless, damp towel around his neck, freshly showered. You sat at the edge of the bed, hands gripping the sheets. The silence between you buzzed louder than the asylum alarms ever had.

“Still think I’m the villain?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder.

You met his eyes. That same mix of trouble and tenderness. His voice was low, cocky, but not careless.

“No,” you said. “I think you’re something worse.”

He tilted his head. “Oh?”

“Unpredictable.”

Jungwon chuckled. “That’s not always a bad thing, sweetheart.”

He walked toward you, the towel falling from his neck. He wasn’t trying to be seductive. He didn’t need to try. It was in the way he moved confident, controlled, like he could shatter or shelter you at will.

“Why’d you come with me?” he asked.

You didn’t answer right away. Because the truth was messy.

Because part of you wanted to save him. And another part, maybe darker, wanted to belong to the madness too.

“You asked me to,” you whispered.

He knelt in front of you, between your knees. “That all it took?”

You reached for him, fingertips brushing his cheek. “I couldn’t let them take you back.”

“Because you care?”

You nodded.

He leaned in, lips brushing yours, soft, almost reverent. Then he pulled back, gaze suddenly serious.

“You know I’ve killed people,” he said. “Real people. Not just stories on paper.”

“I know.”

“I’m not cured.”

“I know.”

“And I’ll never be what you want me to be.”

You stood and kissed him.

“I never asked you to be.”

The past few weeks where like a fever dream.

They were a tangle of sheets and hands and whispered confessions. Sometimes soft, sometimes desperate. Sometimes violent—not in a way that hurt, but in the way people do when they’re clinging to each other like lifelines.

And then came the nightmares.

Jungwon would wake up gasping, sweating, eyes wild. You’d wrap your arms around him, hold him until he stopped shaking.

“What do you see?” you asked once.

He whispered, “You… leaving.”

You never did.

But peace is temporary when blood’s in your past.

A photo leaked online. Grainy. A gas station security cam. You and Jungwon, buying snacks. It wasn’t a clear shot, but it was enough.

Suddenly, you weren’t ghosts anymore.

You were fugitives.

Jungwon wanted to run. You wanted to plan.

They almost caught you in Denver.

Marked car. Two agents. You had to run through the rain, barefoot, laughing through the panic. You crashed in a stolen car, engine still warm. Jungwon was bleeding from his temple. You stitched him up in the backseat, hands shaking.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, eyes glassy.

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t need to.”

Weeks passed.

You became something else. Not quite lovers, not quite fugitives partners in the truest, most terrifying sense.

You learned his patterns.

He learned yours.

He was still dangerous. Still sharp and impulsive and morally gray.

But with you—he tried.

He held your face after kissing you too rough and whispered, “Sorry.”

He stopped running ahead without checking if you could keep up.

He looked at you like you were the last good thing in the world and maybe, for him, you were.

One night, in a cabin deep in the woods of Oregon, you sat by the fire, wrapped in a blanket. Jungwon poured wine into two mismatched mugs.

“You ever think about staying?” he asked.

“Here?”

“Anywhere. Not running. Just… us.”

You stared at the flames. “Every day.”

He sat beside you. “We could fake our deaths.”

You smiled. “You’d love that.”

“I mean it. Burn the car. Leave blood. No more names. Just you. Just me. Forever.”

You looked at him. “Forever’s a long time.”

“I’ve done longer.”

He kissed you—slow this time, hands framing your face. There was no lust behind it. Just… devotion. A promise.

And when he whispered, “I love you,” it wasn’t a trick.

It was the truest thing he’d ever said.

But you knew better than to believe in happy endings.

The fire snapped in the hearth, casting golden light across Jungwon’s bare collarbones. He was lounging beside you on the floor, wine-stained lips curved into a smirk as he watched the flames flicker, though it was clear his attention hadn’t left you for even a second.

“You keep staring,” you said, swirling the last of your wine.

He leaned closer, his voice velvet and smoke. “Because you look like sin in candlelight.”

Your breath hitched as he took the mug from your hand, setting it aside. His fingers brushed yours featherlight, teasing, possessive.

“And I’ve been starving,” he murmured.

You parted your lips, about to speak, but he was already crawling toward you...slow, deliberate. The blanket slipped off your shoulders, and the cold kissed your skin for just a moment before Jungwon's body pressed against yours, warm and familiar and infinitely dangerous.

“You sure?” he asked against your jaw, voice low, teasing, but still asking.

You nodded, barely breathing. “Always.”

That was all he needed.

His mouth crashed into yours, urgent and claiming. He kissed like he wanted to ruin you and worship you in the same breath. His hands slid under your shirt, greedy, tugging until the fabric peeled away and your bare skin met the chill of the room and the heat of his mouth.

He kissed down your neck, softly at first, then with teeth, marking. One hand gripped your waist while the other slid between your thighs, already knowing exactly how to undo you.

“You’re soaked,” he groaned, two fingers pressing lightly against your panties. “All that for me?”

“All for you,” you gasped, hips rocking forward.

He tore the fabric down your legs, lips ghosting over every inch of skin he revealed, until you were sprawled on the soft fur rug...open, panting, waiting.

And then he knelt between your legs, tongue darting out to taste you, slow and devastating. You gasped, back arching, hands clawing at the rug as he licked deeper, then flicked over your clit with maddening rhythm.

“Jungwon—please—” you moaned.

He chuckled against you, the vibration sending shivers up your spine. “God, you sound so good like this. Could record you right now and use it as my new favorite lullaby.”

His fingers replaced his mouth, two sliding in effortlessly as his tongue stayed on your clit, moving in sync. Your body bucked, firelight catching the sweat on your chest, and you came hard, crying out as the heat consumed you from inside out.

But he wasn’t done.

Not even close.

Jungwon rose, undressing slowly, like he wanted you to watch, to ache. He was lean muscle and sharp edges, all scars and quiet power, and the moment he lined himself up against your entrance, he looked you dead in the eye.

“This…” he said, pushing in, slow and deep, “is mine now.”

You gasped, hands flying to his shoulders, nails sinking in as he filled you completely.

“Yours,” you breathed. “Only yours.”

He started to move, hips rolling, each thrust rougher, deeper, hotter than the last. You wrapped your legs around his waist, meeting him thrust for thrust, moaning his name like a prayer.

The fire roared behind him, casting shadows over his face. His expression was dark, hungry, worshipful, like he couldn't decide whether to break you or beg for your soul.

“Say it again,” he growled. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you cried out. “I’m yours, Jungwon”

He kissed you again, silencing the scream as he drove into you harder, faster, until you were unraveling beneath him, again, trembling and moaning as your second orgasm ripped through you like wildfire.

His pace stuttered.

“Fuck,” he groaned, voice strangled. “I’m gonna...Y/N—”

“Do it,” you whispered, pulling him in. “Come inside. Fill me.”

And when he did, when he came with a ragged moan, clutching you to his chest like he was afraid you’d vanish, you felt more alive than you ever had.

Like you belonged there. In his arms. In the dark. In the madness.

After, he didn’t speak.

He just held you, bodies tangled on the rug, the firelight fading into embers.

You were sore. Marked. Loved.

And when he whispered, “I’ll kill anyone who tries to take you from me,”

you believed him.

Because you’d do the same.

Tags☞ None!

[minhaemin]

CALL ME WHEN YOU HATE ME LESS

PAIRING: jake sim x fem!reader (ft. jaehyun and heeseung).

GENRE/CW: smut, angst, eventual fluff, porn with plot, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, fingering, choking, blowjob, using panties as a gag, spitting kink, edging, squirting, slight overstimulation, mentions of fighting, blood, usage of nicknames, slowburn if you squint, emotional trauma, lmk if i missed anything!

WORD COUNT: 18,321 words. (18.3k)

SYNOPSIS: Jake Sim was a walking academic hazard—hot, broody, and failing just about everything that wasn’t football. Enter you, his new tutor: organized, overachieving, and absolutely not here for his attitude or his annoyingly perfect lips. But between late night study sessions, petty insults, and one very inconvenient almost-kiss, things start spiraling—fast. He’s supposed to be you project. You are supposed to hate him. Instead, you both are one sarcastic comment away from either a breakdown or a makeout, and honestly, it could go either way.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni (the full fic will include smut).

A/N: hihi, angels! if you have seen this before then yes, it is a revamp of my jeno fic as requested by a few anons! i hope you guys will enjoy it! all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <33

Chapter 1: Raised in Shadows, Told to Shine. 

Comparison. 

The core of all insecurities. The onset of overthinking. The path to self loathing. 

That’s what comparison does to a person—drive them to the edge of insanity in hopes of turning into something; into someone the others will look up to, compare themselves to. 

It was a bad thing per se, but it was motivation enough for Jake to work harder in order to leave the country, to get away from his family. 

The reason? His mother ever so conveniently happened to have fallen in love with a rich guy, someone who never knew what struggle meant, and Jake was just four back then, he didn’t bother changing his surname. It didn’t take much time for him to settle into the lifestyle, however, no matter how much he could have prepared to face his step-brother, he simply couldn’t bother looking him in the eye. 

Why? Because he was known to be the epitome of perfection. Jung Jaehyun was the son every parent wanted, the student every teacher was fond of, the doctor every nurse wanted to work with. 

The sweet dimple on his cheek was a great asset in melting the hearts of everyone in his proximity or afar. 

Jake on the other hand, wasn’t quite sure why he wasn’t considered to be enough, especially when he got decent grades throughout his school life, he wasn’t a bother, kind to those who were around them, but it changed. 

It changed when he got daily reminders of how he wasn’t even close to how amazing and successful his step brother was. 

That’s when things started looking down for Jake. He stopped caring about the grades, he wasn’t sure why he was supposed to put up a I’m so good, so smart act in front of others when there was no reason for him to do that. 

Others didn’t bother doing the same for him. 

Rather, he tried to work upon the only thing he was passionate about, the only thing that mattered to him—football. 

Despite winning several trophies for playing the sport, his parents labelled it to be useless, which broke the last fragment of his heart, shattering it to the point of no return. 

Which would explain his current demeanor—moody, permanent scowl on his perfectly sculpted face and no care for the others around him. His sole focus being football, which is also the reason behind his current dilemma. 

“Being an excellent player in the sports team does not guarantee you your scholarship, Mr. Sim,” Jake’s teacher incharge spoke up, taking off her specs right after reviewing his annual grade report, “you’re failing three out of five modules, and if you don’t start getting back on track soon, then I’m afraid you won’t be able to play in the team anymore.” 

Fuck. 

Jake had been neglecting his studies, he admits, yet he never thought that he’d reach this point. It’s not that he wasn’t smart, he simply had no motivation to go on with his studies. His parents could easily pay the university to keep him around, however, he wanted nothing from them, which also explains why he got himself a scholarship in the first place. 

“I’m sorry if I’m late.” Jake’s eyes snapped wide open, turning back to see his step brother entering the teacher’s cabin. 

“Why are you here?” Jake asked, a muscle in his jaw twitching but Jaehyun only smiled. 

Jake’s professor was equally stunned, probably even more with her jaw wide open at the appearance of such a handsome young man. 

“I called him in since your parents were busy,” his professor said, handling Jake a letter, “go and find your tutor in the council room, she’ll be helping you with the upliftment of your grades, Mr. Lee, and now if you’ll excuse us, I’ve got to fill in your brother with your current situation,” she said the last part awfully sweetly as Jaehyun sat down in one of the vacant chairs, smiling at her kind tone. 

Jake scoffed, the demeanor change around Jaehyun went crazy and he wasn’t a fan of it, especially when he was called in to complain about his mistakes. 

He simply wanted to leave the university and never come back. 

He waited, taking deep breaths before punching the wall, not being able to contain his anger. The impact did hurt, yet he paid no heed to it, the blood dripping as he walked towards the council room to get over with the day. 

The name written on the sheet wasn’t unfamiliar to him, rather it only wearied the already infuriated boy as he knocked on the door of the student council room, which was empty except for you sitting there, working on a few papers which appeared to be the newsletter for the month. 

“Come in,” you allowed, not looking up as Jake made his way inside the room, observing the surroundings where he’s never been before. 

Then he looked your way, taking in your appearance. You looked cozy in your university varsity jacket, your specs sitting on your nose as you buried yourself in reading whatever it was that you were reading. He couldn’t deny you looked pretty in a way that’s comforting to eyes. 

With no words exchanged, he pushed the letter towards you, which finally made you look up at the source of disturbance, your eyebrows raising slightly as you most certainly did not expect the star football player to visit you in the council room, which he’s never been to before. 

He simply stood there, hands shoved into his pockets while still looking around, and you took a second to grab the letter, skimming over to read and understand that the letter was given by Mrs. Kim, the teacher in charge of your department, requesting you to take up the few teaching sessions you had applied for, Jake being the student you’ll have to teach for the same. 

You clicked your tongue, folding the letter exactly as it was before pushing it his way, your arms folding across your chest as you finally spoke up, “I reject. I don’t wish to teach you.”

His eyes were quick to snap towards you, finally staring right into your own eyes, irritation clear as he pushed his tongue on his inner cheek, eyebrow raised. 

“Aren’t you supposed to kiss your professor’s feet, given that you’re in student council? And here I thought you’d be a good girl.” Jake rasped, resting his arms on your table, leaning down to your level. 

You chuckled, expecting the exact response from him, “this is exactly why I don’t want to waste my time on you—you athletes don’t wish to study, you just require a passing grade, for which, I don’t have time to spare.” 

“What the fuck do you mean waste your time?” 

“Sim Jake, you’ve got more money with you than your bank account can handle, so I’m sure losing your scholarship won’t do you much harm,” you said with a sickening smile, “you’ve got no interest in studying, your attendance record states that oh so proudly.” 

“You don’t know shit about me,” Jake seethed out, messy hair strands falling over his eyes. 

“I know everything I need to know about you. Now excuse me, unlike you, I actually have work to do,” you said, passing him a tight lipped smile, not letting the proximity faze you. 

“You—” 

Jake’s sentence was cut short with two sharp knocks on the slightly ajar door, a head peeking in, successfully garnering your attention. You could feel your mood doing one eighty with the sudden intrusion of this stranger—whom you didn’t wish to be a stranger around anymore, your eyes softening, lips parting as you stared at him in awe. 

Meanwhile, if Jake thought that the day was done being a bitch to him, then he was wrong because the level of irritation that bubbled up in him the moment he saw the change in your expressions. 

“Sorry to interrupt, may I get in?” Jaehyun asked, smiling his usual dimpled smile, which had you swooning in record time. 

You could practically see veins of frustration popping out on Jake’s neck, “no. Your work is done, you should head back home,” he groaned, but Jaehyun only looked you way, continuing to get in, looking your way. 

“I’m Jaehyun, Jake’s elder brother. I can’t thank you enough for agreeing on giving him tutoring lessons, especially with how busy you must be with council duties,” he spoke up, shaking your hand, which was smaller in his warm, big hands. 

Jake scoffed, “she’s not—”

“Of course, Jaehyun! It’s my pleasure to help him out, and it’ll only help me better with my extracurricular credits! It’s no problem,” you nodded, a gentle smile on your face as your eyes practically twinkled with excitement, taking in the beauty that Jaehyun beheld. 

It was ridiculous. 

It was absurd how just two sentences; paired with a sweet smile from his brother, were enough for you to change your decision, in the span of two seconds at that. 

He tightened the hold he had on the strap of his black bag, “no fucking need. I’ll find another tutor,” Jake deadpanned, walking out of the room, not paying attention to Jaehyun who called out his name in the background. 

He wouldn’t let you use him to get to his brother. 

With that thought, he decided to detour and make his way to the gym, trying to blow off steam by practicing punching, each one getting progressively stronger as his mind replayed the difference in your behaviour when it came to him and his brother. 

It didn’t bother him that his knuckles were bruising, he knew he needed this extrinsic pain to get rid of the obvious hurt he felt each day. 

And he couldn’t understand why he felt so affected by your actions, especially when it was the first time you had met. 

Jealousy was indeed a bitch. 

Chapter 2: Surrendered to the skirt. 

Two days passed by and Jake’s mood showed no progress in terms of improving, rather, he felt worse each time the memory invaded his brain. He tried his best to sit down and open the first module of the unit he had to study. 

It’s not like he was bad at studying, he was just a bit out of practice, and well, his mental health wasn’t doing much to help him get any better. 

Just when he was about to actually get a hang of getting into the topic, the doorbell rang. His parents were out for business, as usual, and his step brother was busy doing morning shifts, which meant that he was alone at the mansion, minus the myriad of worker staff they had to take care of the place. 

Essentially, he had to get down to see who it was at the door, only to spot you leaning against the doorframe as one of the attendants had asked you to wait. He stopped, observing you from the staircase as you typed something on your phone. 

Why were you here after clearly rejecting him? Why were you here when he’s clearly told you he doesn’t want you to be his tutor?

Scoffing, he walked down the stairs and towards you, standing right in front of you, clearly invading your personal space as he decided to lean against the same side of the thick door frame with his brows raised.

You took a second to take in his appearance as he was clad in casual gray sweatpants with a blank tank, which honestly did nothing to hide his muscles. 

“Why are you here?” Jake asked with a bored tone. 

“I’m here to teach you, remember?” You gave him a pointed look. 

“And I clearly told you I don’t wish to study from you, it’s better if you leave now. I’ll just tell Mrs. Kim that you taught me,” he said, almost turning back to go inside. 

“And have them wondering how you failed even after getting tutored by me? Yeah, I don’t think so,” you shook your head, inviting yourself in without second thoughts. 

“Y/n, I’m not fucking kidding, you should leave. Besides, the one you came for isn’t at home at the moment,” he muttered bitterly. 

That caught your attention, “oh? Busy with a job then?” You asked, looking around the exquisite paintings hung at the entrance of his place. 

“Are you gonna leave or do I have to call the guards to escort you out?”

You chuckled, “you really don’t want the previous year questions I have? The council students get them each year you see, they’re bound to guarantee you good marks,” you explained with a smirk. 

Jake groaned, his lip bitten as he tried to think if tolerating you would be worth the questions, but his football career was at stake and there was no better option but to accept it. 

“What’s the catch?” Jake asked after a few seconds, sighing with defeat. 

“Nothing at all. We both know that you need these papers to get the grade that you wanna achieve and I’ll get my extra credits,” you reason. 

“You just wanna meet my brother,” he said dryly, “either way, you won’t get to see a lot of him, he’s always at the hospital, working and being the perfect son he is. Plus, he’s definitely not into uni students,” he looked you up and down, soon gulping and looking elsewhere. 

You were clad in a pretty skirt which showed off your legs—which you did wear in hopes of crossing paths with Jaehyun, but you completely missed how Jake was staring at your body. 

He wasn’t sure if it was out of hatred that he stared at you, or it was admiration because you were one of those people he despised—overachievers.  

You were in the student council, got good grades and professors favoured you, it wouldn’t be a surprise if your parents loved you for being the ideal daughter. It most certainly didn’t help that your appearance seemed as if you were the sweetest, kindest angel on earth, which wasn’t the case when you were around Jake though. 

“I’ll manage,” you shrugged, “so, I need your final word, Mr. Sim.”

“I am sure I can find better tutors than you,” he raised his brows, challenging you and you didn’t look fazed at all. 

“I am quite literally the best, professor Kim asked me to tutor you for a reason, besides, no one’s gonna agree to help you out with exams being only one month away,” you made your point, extending your hand for him to finalize his decision. 

Overconfidence. He sighed. 

Jake stared at your extended hand, thinking of the bigger picture here. He’d get tutoring and would be able to score decent grades if he gets back to his usual routine of studying. 

Downside? He’d have to face you each day. 

Sighing and keeping his feelings in check, he simply nodded, taking your smaller hand into his as he accepted the offer, suddenly aware of the warmth of your palm and how it leaves a tingling feeling behind as you shake his hand firmly with a smirk. 

“So, where are we gonna study?” 

Chapter 3: Silent room, a loud mind. 

Turns out, it’s not that easy to sit down and just teach Jake. 

Given the amount of classes he had missed, or rather, the amount of classes he had managed to attend, it was clear that he didn’t even have the basic idea of the syllabus for the semester modules. 

Moreover, you had already pissed him off by mentioning how you didn’t expect him to have such a clean and organized room, as if you had already decided that he was going to be a messy human. 

Moving forward, you both sat down next to each other with your laptop open in front of you as you made him write down all the topics he needed to cover for the next month, forming a sort of timetable of a kind. 

It was surprisingly peaceful between you two, as if you both wished to get over with it as soon as possible, behaving as civilly as you could but there was this one thing that Jake couldn’t stop doing. 

Overthinking. 

It’s the way you looked his way with disappointed and concerned filled eyes whenever he messed up, the way his jaw clenched when you told him to do better, the way he couldn’t help but stare at your glossed up lips as you looked around his room, eyes settling on his childhood pictures which were framed. 

It was also new to him to actually interact with people outside of his football team, especially girls. He couldn’t remember the last time he had talked to one. He wondered what was going on in your mind, he wondered if you were silently judging him through it all.

That’s all what people in his life did anyway. 

“You were cute as a kid, what happened to you now?” You joked, chuckling as you looked his way, only to find his mouth slightly agape.

He hadn’t expected you to say that, and he certainly didn’t want to retort back with something that would ruin his mood, “I grew up to be hot is what happened to me,” he replied smoothly. 

“Oh, so you do know how to joke around,” you raised your brows in surprise. It was indeed the image he had formed over the years. The image of him being nothing more than a rude jock who wouldn’t even reply to someone nicely. 

Now that you were actually interacting with him, you were going to find out how many of the rumors were true about him. 

He only leaned closer at your statement, you could see his muscles flexing as he rested one arm on the table in front of you both, “it’s not a joke, love. I am hot.”

You scoffed at the term of endearment, suddenly aware of his scent now that he was so close to you, “and egoistic too,” you helpfully added. 

“Rightfully so.”

Your childish argument was interrupted that very second as the door to Jake’s room swung open, revealing the exact man you came to see. 

Jaehyun was smiling, dressed in black slacks and a button up shirt as he welcomed you here, and you were quick to notice Jake’s mood turning fowl that very second. 

“Thank you so much for coming here, Y/N. Let me send a few snacks and drinks for you both while you study,” he smiled, and you rushed up to stand, not even bothering about the pen that fell down as you did so. 

“Jaehyun,” you walked up to him, much to Jake’s dismay, “oh, you don’t have to do anything,” you smiled sweetly, and he only shook his head softly, grabbing your arm. 

“Don’t worry about it, just sit and relax, okay?” He squeezed your arm, going downstairs and you sighed with a smile. Even his scent was perfect to you. 

“You done daydreaming?” Jake asked, deadpanning once his brother had left. 

“You done solving the question?” You retorted. 

He sighed, as if his energy was drained already, “yeah, just check and get this over with,” he said, handing you the binder and looking elsewhere. 

It was probably the first time you actually paid attention to his dejected tone, as if he didn’t have the energy to fight back, and you obviously didn’t wish to irk him more, especially when he looked so frustrated right now. Thankfully, a lot of his answers were indeed correct, which was another surprise to you. 

He was smart, he just simply didn’t wish to study. 

“Something wrong?” He asked, cocking his brow and you blinked, “you’re actually not as dumb as you portray yourself to be,” you mumbled, checking everything thoroughly. 

It should’ve been insulting to Jake per se, but even the slightest amount of approval was a big thing for him, causing the corner of his lips to curl up. He felt insane, the amount of emotions he felt in a single day was perhaps the reason for the same, courtesy of you. 

He was glad Jaehyun didn’t enter the room again, sending in a servant staff to give you the snacks instead, which maintained the peace throughout the session. 

You couldn’t help but notice how well he concentrated once there was silence in the room, your eyes focused on his hand gripping the pen, making it seem more veiny than it already was. 

Also, you didn’t miss the hint of a smile ghosting his face when you told him he did a good job right before leaving, which made you think of a few things, one being— 

He looked beautiful with a smile. 

Chapter 4: You can’t read my mind, so read my lips. 

As much as Jake loved the comfort of his room, he really wanted to avoid you bumping into Jaehyun again.

Even the thought of your interactions, your fake sweet smiles, made him wanna punch the wall. Jaehyun really had it easy and Jake never understood why, it was no joke that Jake was decent looking as well, talented in his own way, and a kind hearted person who just happened to have a protective wall around him so as to not get hurt any further. 

Which is why you had been tutoring him in the library from the past ten sessions, his own personal request to avoid having privacy with you. 

Heck, even Jake didn’t know it was his own mind trying to protect him, which is why he couldn’t let anyone in, anyone.  

Which made this situation far from ideal as he had you pressed against the library wall, no distance between you both as you closed your eyes in pure distress. 

“What the actual fuck is he doing here?” Your question was directed more to yourself, which confused Jake further.

He poked his tongue into his cheek, annoyance creeping through, “what the fuck is going on?” He asked. 

“Shhh, not so loud,” you pressed your palm against his mouth, “just hide me.”

He rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrist effortlessly, pinning it above your head, “you don’t tell me what to do, yeah?” He mumbled, flustering you under his gaze before your eyes travelled back to where you were looking initially. 

He sighed in annoyance, looking back at the direction of your supposed fear. 

Lee Heeseung. Another of Jake’s football teammates. 

“Why are you hiding from Heeseung,” he asked, brow raised as he leaned into you. 

“Ugh,” you groaned, “he’s my ex, he shouldn’t even be in the library, he’s never here!” You were stressed and Jake smirked devilishly. 

“Fucking hell, you’re the girl he keeps on stalking and crying about?” He chuckled, “let me call him,” he turned away for a second. 

You used your free hand to grab his nape, “don’t fucking move,” you mumbled. 

Perhaps you were too harsh with the grabbing, also not calculating the proximity enough, because Jake’s nose was brushing against yours, lips close to the point of touching, and a low groan escaping his lips as your name rolls out his tongue in the most angry grunt ever, “what the actual fuck are you doing?” 

“J—just let him leave,” you mumbled, gulping and closing your eyes, his mint breath fanning your face as heat crept up your neck, up till your ears. 

“What will I get out of it,” he asked, his free hand resting on your waist now, “why should I help you?”

“I’m literally helping you study, Jake,” you seethed out.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he groaned, making you open your eyes, staring into his deep ones now, suddenly feeling small under his gaze, and well, his body. 

“What?” you asked, looking away to check if Heeseung had left, pushing Jake away the second you confirmed it. 

Jake, however, wasn’t having any of it. 

With a scoff and the shake of his head, he grabbed your wrist again, twisting it behind your back, not putting too much pressure so it just hurt but still made it clear how he would not let you go so easily, “you can’t run from me.”

“Let go, I fucking swear—” you let out, squirming around and pushing him, he didn’t budge at all sadly. 

“You do realize I’m a lot stronger than you, right?” He chuckled. 

“Fuck—what do you want me to do?” You rolled your eyes, jaw clenching as you looked at him. 

Before he could answer, your eyes widened in fear yet again as you yanked his arm so forcefully, he had no chance to balance himself, a yelp leaving his mouth as you ran and he was following right after you. 

Heeseung was back and you could just not deal with his ass anymore, hence the overwhelming response. Fight or flight? Flight for sure. Dragging Jake into it might be a stretch but hey, whatever helped you run away from the gremlin, right? 

“Y/N,” Jake hissed yet again, once you stopped by your seat, gathering both yours and his belongings scattered across the table from when you were studying a few minutes back, before getting up to find a book, before seeing Heeseung roaming around the halls of the library. 

It was quite amusing to Jake if he was being honest, a mix of feelings as you grabbed his wrist effortlessly yet again, your eyes set on the exit door leading to the parking lot where Jake’s Ferrari Purosangue stood proudly. 

“Get in!” You screamed even though you were far from the threat (read: Heeseung) now. 

“That’s my car in case you forgot—”

“Now.” 

“So fucking annoying—” He grumbled, with a small smile playing on his lips. 

You looked so bothered as if you were chased by Ghostface and not Heeseung, even though you probably wouldn’t run away from the prior. It was comical regardless, the long breath you exhaled once you were comfortable on his premium quality car seat, head leaned back fully. 

You opened your eyes after a few seconds only to find Jake’s eyes on you, face curved into an amused look. You stared at one another for a second, two seconds, three seconds—and he burst out laughing. 

It was probably the first time you saw him laugh like that—so freely, without any care in this world. It was loud but breathless, making his eyes crinkle with small crescents forming, his perfectly aligned pearly teeth showing as he went on, laughing at your disheveled state and crazy response to everything that happened the past twenty minutes. 

You were calm and composed for the most part, it was rare for you to look this frustrated over anything, which came as a surprise to Jake, the whole situation seemingly pure comedy to him. 

You observed him so carefully, your own lips twitching into a smile and before you knew it, you were laughing alongside him so normally as if two friends were laughing over a joke. 

A weird sort of warmth spread over your body, it made no sense honestly, you were pinned to the wall just a few minutes back and Jake looked as if he’d burst into flames with his anger, and now he’s laughing at your disheveled, non-composed state. 

Once Jake caught you staring back at him with glittering eyes, and a little smile, he froze. It was easy for him to come back to his senses (read: put his walls back up) which only made your smile drop too. It was awkward, both of you looking elsewhere while clearing your throats, definitely not something you expected. 

“Uh—sorry about that, yeah,” you mumbled, playing with the loose threat of your sweater sleeve. 

“Yeah, no problem,” he retorted, turning the car engine on to start driving. 

Why was it awkward? Because you laughed together like two absolutely normal individuals? Because you had Jake pinning you to the wall to avoid your ex? 

Or because you almost kissed. Almost. 

The ride back to your apartment was silent, no songs playing in the car, just the small buzz of engine, and the nail tapping on the screen of your phone—to avoid any kind of conversation happening, also clearly missing out on how Jake glanced at you every few seconds, the speed of his thoughts running faster than his own car. 

“I’ll—see you tomorrow then?” Your voice cracked as you said so, wincing slightly at your own tone. 

Jake was about to chuckle again, yet he covered it with a low cough as he mumbled a yes, as you opened the door once he stopped in front of your apartment. 

That’s it, you were leaving, and his eyes didn’t leave you till you disappeared into the apartment. 

He gripped the steering wheel tighter, groaning as he banged his head into it, a low horn sound only frustrating him further. It was hard for him to drive after, the scene of you being so vulnerable yet glaring at him like a scared little vixen trying to look brave, replayed in his mind. 

No, he couldn’t drive, couldn’t focus on the road anymore, stopping the car at a random parking lot of a fast food chain, grabbing his phone to pull up Instagram, specifically Heeseung’s account. 

He didn’t have to scroll much to find the picture he was looking for—his teammate, Heeseung, standing right next to you with his arm resting on your waist. Jake didn’t know why that picture left a bitter taste in his mouth all of a sudden, knowing well how badly Heeseung fucked up when he cheated on you. 

And now the asshole is running after you again. 

You didn’t deserve that, you deserve someone better—someone perfect like you. 

He went back, not having it in him to look at the picture again, instead, going to your account now. It looked professional, all your posts being highly calculative to make your feed look pleasing. Your highlights, however, had this one particular picture—a picture of you smiling without a care in the world, so raw, so genuine, so beautiful. 

Beautiful. 

Jake thought you looked beautiful, and it made him angry. 

He was angry—because deep down, he desired to be the reason for your smile. 

Chapter 5: Pretty in pink, but my head’s in the dark. 

Jake made you smile. 

You did know that laugh was contagious, however, you didn’t think you’d actually give in to Jake’s sweet chuckles. 

Sleep didn’t come to you easy when the constant reminder of the study session poked the back of your mind, not to mention what happened in the library earlier, where you and Jake almost kissed—

No. 

You shook your head. Such niche experiences never falter you, so why was this such a big deal? 

Another groan left your mouth, but alas, your body was relaxed enough to sleep so you woke up energetic the next day. It felt oddly friendly when you saw Jake at the University, and he threw a two finger salute your way, you waved back before going your way. 

“You’re zoned out, again.” Karina, one of your classmates, pointed out and you sighed as she rambled about how you needed to let some guy in, quite literally, to blow off some steam, which you clearly weren’t doing, hence the stuck up energy. 

Being descriptive about it didn’t help either—yet another reminder of how Jake’s body was pressed against yours this hour, yesterday. 

Heat crept up your neck, urging you to pack up and leave the room. It was hot, stuffy almost for you to do anything, which is why you found yourself studying at the empty seat of the University park. 

You had to face him again, of course, there was no escape to that, and as if the universe was testing you, the time passed by way too quickly for your liking and soon, you found yourself standing in front of the main door of Jake’s place. 

Before you could even ring the bell, the door opened to a huffing Jake, almost as if he ran downstairs, but how did he know—

“Hey,” he whispered, looking around. 

He didn’t wait for your reply, simply grabbing your wrist and dragging you inside, your skin burning at the unexpected touch, but you didn’t shake him off of you, only asking in a low tone, “what are you doing?” 

“Shh,” Jake mumbled, as though he was trying to avoid someone, or rather, trying to hide you from someone. His efforts were futile, however, once he heard that stern voice of his mother booming through the walls of his mansion. 

Now you get why Jake was in a hurry, the look on her face had a chill going down your spine. 

You felt Jake stiffen alongside you, his hold on your wrist now tighter, uncontrollably so. 

“You must be the new tutor for Jake,” she said, scrutinizing every bit of your existence, Jake’s jaw clenched at her unwavering gaze. 

“Yes ma’am, It’s a pleasure meeting you,” you tried to say, only for her to cut you off. 

“Trust me, darling. There must be no pleasure in helping Jake, but I do hope he learns a thing or two from you—you look like a smart young lady, hopefully, a positive influence on him.” 

You looked at her with your mouth open slightly, not believing the sight in front of you. No mother should look down on their children like that, ever. 

“Mrs. Jung, I hope we’re talking about the same Jake because he is amazing at studies, he grasps concepts faster than I do, and then I believe I’m the one who’s learning from him right now!” You smiled, full of enthusiasm, feeling Jake’s hand dropping down from your wrist. 

“In fact, I’ve never seen anyone play football so perfectly while also being so brilliantly academically smart, I firmly believe his grades will shock you this time. Now, if you’ll excuse us, it’s time for our tutoring session.”

You passed her a small smile, the shock clear on her face, before grabbing Jake’s hand and taking him along with you—to his room. You didn’t look back, simply closing the door as you breathed out with a pissed expression. 

Jake’s heart was beating fast, he wasn’t sure if he had words to speak at this moment, so staring at you was all he could do. 

You spoke for him. 

You defended him. 

No one’s ever done that, no one cared enough to understand, moreover, it didn’t help how you looked angrier than him at the situation. 

“W—Why?” Jake couldn’t keep his voice in check, “you didn’t have to—say all that.”

That’s when you turned around, facing him. All your anger disappeared once you focused on his face, so vulnerable, so confused, so desperate to know your answer. 

“Jake,” the gentleness in your voice only made him gulp and look down at the floor, “I hope you don’t believe a word she says, because that’s not true,” you spoke, inching closer. 

You were not one who was good at making people feel better, Jake of all people at that, however, this gave you an insight of why Jake is the way he is—closed off, hence the lack of words from your side, but you knew you had to say it. 

That’s the thing, we judge people too quickly, you always had snarky remarks for him, not knowing how deep they cut him. He looked shaken right now, traumatized, especially because you experienced a part of his life which he never wanted to share with anybody. 

“Jake, you’re doing so well, you know that right?” You whispered, as genuine as possible, your fingers grabbing his own, which made him look up at you finally. 

He was shaken, not from his mother’s words—he was used to them—but from yours. 

“No one’s ever said that,” he spoke so silently, you almost missed it. You held his hand tight—being almost angrier than him while answering his mom back—he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be over that. 

Jake didn’t realize his eyes were glistening. 

“What?” You breathed out. 

He gulped yet again, jaw clenched now as he struggled to get his words out, the floor being the most interesting thing to him, “defended me. No one’s done that.”

“I—is that why you hate Jaehyun? Because people only see him?” You asked, wincing at the question when you saw him stiffen again, a sharp pang in your chest once he brushed your hand off of his. 

“Don’t. Don’t fucking go there.”

“I didn’t mean—” 

“Oh I fucking know what you mean. Everyone sees him fuck—you see him, because he’s perfect, right? That’s what he is, perfect,” he seethed out, “you don’t know what it’s like—to live in someone’s shadow,” there was a flash of pain in his eyes. 

You stayed mum, letting him speak. 

“Every place, every room, every fucking person just sees him,” he muttered, “I need to be better, but it’s never enough, because he already did it—Jaehyun did it better. You look at him the same way as others do, and me? The afterthought—the failure.”

Your heart broke a little, guilt settling in because unknowingly, you fueled the same anger and trauma for him. 

“Jake,” you mumbled, “you’re not a failure.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I’m starting to,” you spoke, and he looked up, “and thank god you’re not Jaehyun,” you chuckled, fingers ghosting near his jaw, your touch featherlight, making him suck in a deep breath. 

“Why?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper, eyes hopeful, which scared him. 

“Because you’re real, you don’t fake your emotions. You don’t smile at somebody who you don’t care about, you get angry, messy, you let yourself be shown how you are,” you lip twitched slightly as you said so, your own heartbeat rose at the sentences you so easily uttered, “that’s what makes you a human, Jake, a human who’s trying his best, which is what matters.”

He blinked. 

He wanted to speak, but he couldn’t, simply leaning into your touch with his eyes closed. 

“You’re you, the stupid jock who’s not scared of anything, yeah?” You tried to make him smile, which helped as you saw his lips curving up. 

Midway through your sentences, you genuinely questioned yourself about why you even like Jaehyun, it was honestly just your mind playing games with you. 

“You scare me,” he muttered. 

“Why?”

“Because you say things so convincingly, it makes me wanna believe you.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Just—don’t say it when you don’t mean it.”

“I do,” you said in a breath, his eyes on yours now, more intense than ever, “I mean every word.”

He stared a little longer, staring at you unamused as if you’d laugh in his face right this second. You didn’t. 

“You’re serious,” he said, voice hoarse. 

You nodded softly. 

Jake took a single step forward, the air around you so tight, it felt like a rubber band stretched to its max, on the verge of snapping back. 

You inhaled sharply once Jake’s cold hand brushed the hair on your shoulder, grazing against your bare skin, moving up your nape. 

“Do you have any idea what you just said to me?” He murmured, eyes locked on yours, turning you around easily to pin you against the wall—something he liked to do, apparently. 

“Tell me,” you mumbled. 

If someone told you two days back that you’d be in Jake’s room, calming him down before getting into a compromising position with him, you would have laughed in their faces. It was reality for you now, something that made you feel so unconventionally flustered. 

The way he brushed his thumb along your jaw, slow and deliberate, made you shiver, “you’re making me forget that i’m supposed to hate this—feeling anything.” 

You were hanging on the last bit of your sanity, drowning in Jake’s scent, his nose brushing against your cheek, hand gripping your waist, heat radiating off of your body. 

“Jake—”

“Say it again,” he whispered. 

“Say what?” You breathed. 

“That you’re glad I’m not him.”

You chuckled under his hold, your voice still shaking, “I’m so glad—so fucking glad you’re not him.” 

His breath sounded like a curse, lips hovering a breath above yours, you could feel his hesitation against your skin. He wasn’t sure if he had the right to touch someone as perfect as you, yet you didn’t stop him, the space in between you was so tight, it might as well elicit electricity. 

You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t blink, only leaning into his touch, resting your hand over the top of his on your jaw. The touch was faint, yet you could feel it everywhere. 

You held your breath as he leaned in—

Knock. 

Jake swore under his breath as you flinched, it physically hurt him to step back. 

“Jake?” Of course, it was Jaehyun who had to interrupt you two. 

Your hands trembled as Jake moved to the door, and you quickly turned towards the desk, rushing to sit down, pretending that nothing had happened—that you didn’t almost kiss Jake a few seconds back. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, eyes furious with a hint of daze in them. “Yeah?” His voice came out strained as he asked Jaehyun through the door. 

“Mom wants to talk to you,” He said.

“Be right down,” he answered, shaking his head, staring at your way one last time, holding eye contact for a second, letting you see just how much he hated this situation, veins popping in his neck.

Then he opened the door, closing it behind him and disappearing from your eyesight. 

You stayed there, overwhelmed, lips tingling, pulse racing. 

A truth burned your skin in an excruciating pain. 

If he had kissed you, you wouldn’t have stopped him. 

Chapter 6: I can go from A to Z, but U is what I want. 

Jake hadn’t texted you all night. 

Not that you waited, except, you did. 

He never came back to the room after Jaehyun called him out, you waited, till you couldn’t anymore and had to rush out before your mind drove you to the edge of insanity. 

So you grabbed your bag, rushing to the first place you thought of—the courtyard behind the Science block. It was calm, no student in sight, thankfully. 

Your five minutes of calm ended a second too quickly, a voice calling out your name in its full glory. You cursed the universe for treating you like this and you didn’t have to turn around to figure out who it was.

Heeseung. 

“I gotta admit, I didn’t peg you to fall for the broken type.” He stepped out smiling as insane as a villain who hasn’t moved on does. 

“Still stalking me?” You rolled your eyes, “get a fucking job.”

“I call it being invested,” he smirked, shoving hands in his pockets, “it’s honestly a downgrade, going from me to Jake.”

“Not again,” you muttered, grabbing your book which you had just taken out. 

“I mean, trading me for Jake?” Voice full of pity. 

“As if you were an option, Heeseung,” you turned sharply. 

That shut him up for half a second.

“I just don’t get it,” he said, voice colder now. “He’s always angry, I was angry, I made you feel something, can he say the same?”

Your head was hurting by now, as you mumbled yet another shut up, only to be stopped by Heeseung as he grabbed your arm. 

“What? He’s the angry, tortured type. You’re into hopeless projects now?”

“I’m into honesty,” you snapped, “something you don’t offer.”

“What does he have that I don’t?”

“Self awareness maybe,” a voice came from behind you, low, cold, almost lethal. 

Jake was here. 

“Let go of her,” he said, dead-eyed, he was ready to snap. 

And Heeseung did, a scoff leaving his mouth before he smirked, “great, speak of the devil.”

Jake raised his brow, “you done?”

Heeseung chuckled, “not even close.”

You sighed, “of course not,” this day couldn’t get worse. 

“You really think this is love or whatever?” He said, looking at Jake but his words were directed to you instead, “he’s gonna burn you someday, and you’re gonna let him.” 

Oh god, you were not having any of this, why was this conversation even happening? It made absolutely no sense. 

Jake moved faster this time, but you blocked his chest with your arms, “enough,” you said sharply. 

“Ask him to leave.” Jake said, voice low. 

“Heeseung, just leave,” you said, turning to him. 

But he didn’t, and so Jake did, shoving past you as you rolled your eyes, Heeseung’s sinister smile only widening, getting so close to him, he had to lean back slightly. 

“Don’t test me, and don’t come near her again, or else I won’t be this patient.” Jake spoke. 

“Aw? You’re gonna hit me in front of her, Jake?”

“I don’t need to, she already cut you deeper than I ever could.” 

Heeseung stilled once, clenching his jaw, before turning to you, maintaining eye contact, “she’s not your girl, Jake.”

“You don’t know that,” he gritted his teeth. 

“You’ll come back,” Heeseung’s jaw ticked as he said so. 

“Hold your breath until I do,” you replied.

That was it, he left. It wasn’t silent, nor dramatic, but with enough tension to let you know that he will be coming back. 

Once he was gone, you shoved Jake, hard. 

“The fuck was that?”

“What? I came here trying to find you, only to witness you talking to him.”

“I didn’t want it to happen either, but the world hates me,” you mumbled, grabbing your bag and walking away with Jake following you behind. 

“I fucking hate that he still gets to talk to you, why does he have access to you?” His voice rose and you prayed no one would hear him, thankfully this area was empty. 

“He doesn’t, and why do you even care?” You asked, with distress clear on your face, “pretending like I mean something to you in front of Heeseung is just as worse, Jake.” 

“I—”

“No, you won’t even talk about last night, as if it didn’t happen,” you snapped and he froze, “you didn’t even come back to your room.”

His silence was your answer, and you knew this conversation wasn’t gonna go any further, Jake couldn’t do that—he was scared of opening up, and he was scared of answering those questions, so even though you were hurting on the inside, you let him be. 

“Tomorrow, library, at five. Be on time.” You mumbled, leaving him behind you. 

“Fuck—fuck!” Jake punched the wall next to him. He didn’t want you to go—the first person who ever tried to understand him, took his side, defended him. He was beyond scared of letting his guard down, so he groaned, sliding down the wall. 

“How do I even tell you I want you?”

Chapter 7: I know that I’m hard to read, but you got me here to stay. 

The library was too quiet for how loud your mind was. The sound of your pen dragging across the paper felt almost intrusive as you tried to finish your assignment. 

It had been three nights since the library fiasco. 

Two nights since the almost kiss. 

One night since the blow up with Heeseung.

You almost didn’t wish to come here, yet here you were, with the sample test papers ready, clad in your little black skirt, a cardigan too loose for you, waiting for Jake to show up—hoping he would. 

The clock ticked. He was a solid nineteen minutes late now, another minute and you’ll get up to leave. That’s when you heard the lazy footsteps approaching your side, the farthest corner of the library. You expected him to sit in front of you, yet he opted to sit right next to you, so close you could feel the fabric of his jeans brushing against your thigh. He took a seat without permission, like he had the right to be, like nothing had happened. 

He came in like guilt personified, shoulders hunched, hoodie loose, hair an unbrushed mess of indecision. And when he saw you?

He hesitated.

You didn’t look up, simply sliding him the sheet of questions to solve, the air around you turned weighted. His pen scratched, your leg bounced, you sipped water and he watched the corner of your mouth, practically burning holes into you. 

It was unbearable. 

This tension—it’s not a war but there’s rarely ever any peace. Catherine and Heathcliff reincarnated, except you weren’t on a moor, you were in a library, trying not to fall apart across the wooden study table. 

Just yesterday, he burned through Heeseung like jealousy was oxygen. 

He couldn’t stop staring, yet he solved the questions for forty minutes, sliding the sheet back to you for checking, expecting some sort of conversation now, anything, even a little hum of acknowledgement from your side, but none of it happened. 

He watched you scribble your pen over the margin, circling a few things, ticking the others, lip bitten in concentration. He observed you so intensely, how your eyes flicked across his answer sheet, but you didn’t look his way, not even once. 

“You won’t even talk to me now?” He asked, keeping his voice in check. 

“Four answers wrong, you did pretty well, can do better still,” you mumbled, passing him the paper. 

“Y/N,” he sighed, tired, he was afraid of this happening—letting you down, and that’s exactly what he did. Running away from his problems was what Jake always did, he wasn’t perfect, he knows it, but he wants to try and be better, better for you. 

“You came late,” you said, still not looking up. 

“I didn’t sleep last night,” he exhaled, jaw clenched as if trying to control his words.  

“Not my problem,” you retorted. 

“I was thinking.”

“You should study instead.”

“You hate me now, huh?” Jake leaned forward, voice flat. 

You blinked. The question hit out of nowhere.

“I don’t hate you,” you replied carefully. “But I don’t know how to deal with you either.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“No, Jake. It’s the truth. And that’s more than you’ve been giving me.”

He looked at you then, really looked—eyes narrowed, like he was keeping a war behind them, trying his best not to show his emotions. His eyes were empty, yet so full of you, you being the only person he wanted to see. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” he said, quietly. “I don’t know how to be—good at this, with you, I’ve never done this before.”

“And yet you’re good at disappearing. You’re good at leaving me hanging like none of it mattered, Jake. Even a text would have made it better, just one text.”

You weren’t yelling. You didn’t need to. Your disappointment was louder than any raised voice.

Jake sat back in his chair, breathing shallow. “You kissed me back.”

Your throat tightened, “you didn’t kiss me at all.”

“Exactly,” he muttered. “Because I would’ve ruined it. Ruined you.”

You shook your head slowly. “No, Jake. You didn’t kiss me because you’re scared of how much you actually want to.”

His fingers were now balled into fists. “And you’re not?”

“We’re not talking about me.” You looked away. 

He scoffed, turning to look at you fully, leaning in with his hand now resting on your thigh, burning the skin with his touch. 

“You want honesty, huh? So here it is—I’ve been thinking about you, about everything that’s happened in the past few days, no one’s ever messed with my mind so much and it fucking scares me. You’re messing me up—”

You couldn’t hear more, not when he was so close, not when he poured his heart out to you. Nothing about you two was normal, even your heartbeat was synced with how abnormally high they were. 

“Shh,” you mumbled, covering his mouth with your palm, and even the rude gesture calmed him down—your touch calmed him down. 

“You have an exam tomorrow.” You said and he stared, “study, pass the exam, and we’ll talk, yeah?”

He blinked, almost as if you showed him mercy, and gave him a chance to do something, to prove that he’s worthy of being near you. His scholarship, football, future—everything was at stake, but did he care? No. He cared about not letting you down. He wanted to prove himself to you. 

“You—you promise?” He asked, gripping the extra sheets and notes you passed his way.

You nodded, eyes softer now. You didn’t wanna hurt Jake, you could see just how hard he tried to fight with his demons, but this time, you wanted him to win.

“I’ll be waiting.” 

You turned to leave then, leaving Jake with his thoughts as he watched you leave, eyes on your legs. He gulped, looking back to the paper to find a line scribbled in your handwriting. 

You already know the answer, you’re just afraid of getting it wrong. 

It wasn’t about the question, it was about him. 

He just wanted to be worthy enough to stand in front of you and say I didn’t fuck this up this time. So he started, he worked all night, solved as many sample problems as he could, everything felt like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t give up, not this time. 

Jake couldn’t sleep at night, 

I’ll be waiting. 

That’s what you told him, and he was looking forward to it, because for the very first time in his life, someone wasn’t waiting for him to fail. 

He woke up before his alarm had the chance to ring, didn’t care about his mother’s remark on how he woke up on time for once, or how Jaehyun gave him a long, unreadable look. Jake didn’t react, he had bigger problems to tackle today. 

You were just as restless as him if not more, checking your phone every few minutes as if you’d get any text from Jake. He must be busy studying, you hope that was the case. 

He walked into the exam hall calm, focused, terrified. He didn’t skip questions. He didn’t zone out.

He solved the final problem two minutes before time and rechecked every line like his life was hidden in the margins.

When he walked out of that room, his shirt clinging to the back of his neck from sweat, his palms aching from gripping the pen too hard—he knew. He’d done it. Or at least, he hoped he did. 

Yet, he didn’t text you, he wouldn’t until he got the results. 

Chapter 8: Jealousy is but a red thread around my throat. 

You waited, not loud, but silently. 

Two whole days, you held your breath, even planned on visiting the football practice to just get a glimpse of Jake, yet you couldn’t muster enough courage to do so. God, you were so affected by everything he did, and this felt so very suffocating, waiting on someone. You knew what you felt, there was no point in denying it, however, you couldn’t figure out how it happened, so quickly at that. 

Heck, even Jaemin was more present in your chat inbox, even though you never replied to him, it just made you wonder if your time with Jake was just a hoax. 

Did you imagine it all? 

On the other hand, on the other side of the city, sitting in a dim room with sunlight pouring in, Jake was drowning in darkness. 

The exam portal was open in front of him, he refreshed the page every two seconds, not being able to sit still. His hands were shaking, not from fear but from want.  From the feeling of your voice telling him that you’ll talk to him once he proves himself. 

He gave up the wait, the result wasn’t out the whole day. It was three in the morning when the notification woke him up like a jolt. 

Results were out. 

He rushed to check it, the numbers stunning him as his jaw hung open. 

83%

Not perfect. But more than enough.

Enough to pass. Enough to stay on the team.

Enough to say, Look. I did it. I’m not a fuck-up. The first thing he thought of was you. So he typed—just two words.

Jake: I passed.

Because he didn’t know how to say what he really wanted to—I passed, and all I could think about was your voice. I passed, and I still don’t feel whole unless you tell me you’re proud. I passed, and it’s not enough if I can’t show you.

Your reply came back six minutes later.

You: I knew you would. 

It was soft, gentle. But was it enough for Jake? No. It should’ve been enough, but it wasn’t. 

He didn’t reply, he didn’t text you again. He opted to skip the lectures for the day and stay in his room, blinds closed, only darkness consuming him. 

You knew it was hard for Jake, you knew you shouldn’t wait for his reply or him approaching you—he was too scared to do that, which is exactly why you grabbed your bag and went to his place the first thing in the morning. Maybe Jake needed time, but you had to check. 

You rang the bell, your heart pounding as you did so, expecting Jake to open up and see you. Once the door opened, your pulse stuttered. 

Jaehyun. 

Of course, it had to be him. 

“Y/N,” he said your name smoothly, “didn’t know you were coming by.”

You hesitated with a small chuckle, exhaling the breath you were holding, “is Jake home?” 

He nodded, stepping aside to let you in, “yeah, he’s in his room, didn’t come out this morning at all.”

“Oh,” you said softly, wondering if he was alright. 

There was a pause, an awkward silence after that, you felt heavy, wanting to go upstairs but you weren’t sure if you were allowed to. 

Jaehyun closed the door behind you. “He’s been off since the results,” he said, voice low. “I thought passing would help, but I don’t know. He kind of shut down again after telling us he passed.”

You gulped, chest tightened at the revelation. 

“I came to check up on him, I’m not sure if he wants to meet though.”

“He’d want to see you.” Jaehyun said, smiling sincerely, “you’re good for him.”

Your eyes widened at that, “I’m not sure he thinks that.” You tried to smile, “can I go to his room?”

“He locked the door, I think he’s sleeping,” Jaehyun said apologetically. 

“I don’t wanna bother him.” You smiled sadly, “those are good pictures,” you mumbled, looking at the wall full of frames, particularly the ones with Jake in them.

“Yeah, I took most of those,” Jaehyun replied with another smile, he knew you wanted to talk to Jake so he suggested something, “Maybe if you take him something to eat? I can give the breakfast he skipped—”

“Oh no, I can run to the bakery and get something—”

Then you noticed a movement in your peripheral vision, you turned around to find Jake. He was standing down the hall, his fluffy hair a mess, eyes wide as if he didn’t expect you to be here—especially with Jaehyun. 

“Hey,” you breathed out. 

No reply. 

“Y—you didn’t reply, I came to see you,” you tried speaking again. 

However, his expression didn’t change and suddenly, you felt like you shouldn’t have come here at all. He was frozen even when you said you wanted to make sure he was okay. Then he came back to his senses, clearing his throat. 

Jaehyun left the room, letting you two be alone. 

“Why didn’t you ask for me?” He whispered, just sadness in his voice. 

“I did, that’s what I came for,” you tried to explain.

Jake stared at you, he was so broken inside he couldn’t let himself believe it. You dressed up, all pretty, your eyes so soft, your lips turning into a pout of disappointment. You looked perfect, and you came here for Jake? He just could not believe it. 

“You were talking to him,” Jake said, referring to Jaehyun, his voice broken. 

“He opened the door, what can I do?” You shook your head, trying to explain, “you didn’t even text back, Jake.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he replied, “I’ve never done this before, I’ve never had someone wait for me and mean it.”

Your lips parted to reply but he wasn’t done. 

“You said you’d talk to me after the exam,” he went on, voice sharper now, “but when you showed up, you let him open the door. You let him tell you how I was.”

“I didn’t—” your voice faltered, “I didn’t come for him.”

“Didn’t look that way.”

That hurt. You flinched. “Jake, why are you doing this?” 

“Because I waited for you,” he snapped. “I sat in that room like a fucking idiot thinking you’d come to see me. Not make small talk with my brother or compliment his photography.”

“You heard that?” You froze, it wasn’t your intention to do any of that. 

“I heard everything, every second you spent without taking my name,” he said. 

Just like that—he hurt you. Every conversation was about Jake, every single one. He just couldn’t see it. 

“I thought I was getting better,” he admitted, quieter now. “I thought passing the exam would mean something. That it would be enough.”

“It was,” you whispered. “Jake, it is. I am proud of you.”

“Then why didn’t it feel like it?” His voice broke on that line. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing a step away, then back, like his own body was a prison.

You stood frozen. Every word hit somewhere different.

“I wanted you to come,” he said, softer now. “Not to check in. Not to ask if I’d eaten. I wanted you to come for me. Just for me. You don’t get it, Y/N.”

“No,” you stepped forward. “You don’t get it. You think everything is about being chosen or abandoned. But not everyone’s trying to leave you, Jake. Sometimes people show up. But you keep slamming the door in their face.”

He turned away. “Then go.”

“I came for you.” You said one last time, your eyes watering, not being able to contain the hurt you held in them. 

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have.”

That one landed like a punch.

Your mouth opened. Then closed. You nodded. Just once.

“Fine.”

You turned.

And you left.

And this time, he didn’t stop you.

Chapter 9: I know that I’m hard to read, but you got me here to stay 

You spent most of your morning crying alone in your student council room, but it just wasn’t enough, not when you were being wronged every second of the day, not when the person you wanted kept running away from you no matter how hard you tried. At least you did. 

You couldn’t run away though, you had an important meeting with your council at six in the evening, by that time, you had done everything to make yourself look normal again, but your mind was entirely elsewhere, in another realm, a realm where things were different. 

Jake, on the other hand, left his room as soon as he realized how wrong everything had gone. All afternoon his own words replayed in his mind, how he asked you to leave and how you left a single tear drop on the floor before you turned around and left. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have.

It felt like biting into something rotten, saying that out loud to you. Like watching the one and the only thing he wanted turn and walk away. You didn’t yell back, you didn’t beg, you went still, and left. He saw you leave—he made you leave. 

And he let you go anyway. Because that’s what he did. Because pushing people away was easier than asking them to stay.

Until now.

Now he was pacing in his room like a caged animal, hoodie still damp, heart in his throat. He kept hearing your voice in the hallway. Kept seeing your face. Kept remembering the way you reached for him and he didn’t reach back.

His chest felt tight, his limbs tense. He couldn’t stay here, not in this house, not knowing you might never come back.

He had to find you.

So he ran. He ran to the courtyard, not caring about the rain pour, soaking him up from head to toe. You weren’t in the library, not in the council room, the classrooms were empty. He was panicking. 

That’s when he heard a voice, turning around the corner of the athletic department, he walked straight into one of his football teammates he couldn’t stand at all—Minjae, a loud-mouthed asshole, smiling like a madman. 

“Fucking hell, Lee Jake, you look like shit.” He grinned. 

Jake didn’t answer, he was in a hurry, he had to find you, to make things right with you, he was about to push past Minjae when—

“Oh, by the way,” he smirked, “Heeseung told us a lot about how you finally landed his ex, the pretty goody two shoes, Y/N.”

Jake froze, jaw clenched at the mention of you and Heeseung in the same sentence, coming from an asshole at that. 

“Didn’t think you’d have a go at someone like her. She seems to like guys who have more brains than biceps.” He laughed at his own joke. 

“The fuck did you just say?” 

Minjae laughed. “Chill, man. I’m just saying—props to you, seriously. Girl like that? All polished and pretty and loyal? I mean, not that it’ll last. Girls like that don’t stay with guys like us. She’ll figure it out eventually.”

Jake’s vision turned black.

“Say that again,” he said, voice like static.

Minjae raised his hands. “Relax. You don’t need to get all—”

The punch landed before he could finish.

Minjae hit the ground hard, water splashing up from the impact, the rain pouring down heavier now. He tried to shove Jake back, but to no avail as he bent down, his fist colliding with Minjae’s jaw again.  

Jake wasn’t fighting Minjae per se, he was fighting every single voice that told him he wasn’t enough, that he could never live up to his brother, that he could never be with someone as perfect as you. That’s what he believed too, till you actually became real for him. 

His mind was elsewhere when he took a blow to his jaw, lip bleeding now, Jake stumbled but scoffed before punching him again, and again, till his knuckles were shredded, a throbbing in his jaw which almost felt like fire. 

It was only when someone pulled him off of Minjae, Jake stopped, spitting out blood in the rain slick grass. Everything hurt, but not as much as his burning chest. 

“Are you insane?” Someone yelled his way, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jake didn’t bother answering, pulling out his phone and rushing away, typing out texts to you. 

Jake: where are you? please say something i’m so fucking sorry Y/N i didn’t mean it  i didn’t mean any of it i swear Y/N please 

No response. His messages were just there, unread, and unanswered. He simply didn’t know why. 

He didn’t know how you had been in the private meeting room for the past hour, student council prep being a whole scheduling disaster, handling arguments about clubs and their out-of-the-worldly budget demands. 

You were half awake at best, distracted by the storm that brewed outside. Your phone vibrates once, then again, and when you finally pull it out to check the numerous missed calls—your screen goes dark. Perfect, just on the day you didn’t bring your charger or powerbank. 

The feeling in your gut—it wasn’t good, which is why you excused yourself mid meeting, something you never do, to rush back home. You were soaked as you ran to your apartment, close to the University, thankfully. You plugged your phone in to charge as you rushed to take a shower, hoping the hot water would soothe your nerves. It didn’t. 

You kept thinking about Jake, about the fight at his place earlier, how he asked you to leave with the saddest look in his eyes, and how badly it hurt you. You were out of the shower in fifteen minutes, toweling your hair with one hand and rushing to check your phone with the other, not expecting a myriad of notifications. 

17 Missed calls. 

6 Voicemails. 

26 Unread texts. 

The last of which made your blood run cold. 

Jake: Y/N please  i’m outside 

You rushed to the front door, and he was there—leaning against the wall beside your entrance, hoodie clinging to him, hair wet and plastered to his forehead, eyes closed and him wincing like he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. Like it hurts too much to exist. Hands bruised, lip split, and he opened his eyes—bloodshot, glassy. 

“Jake,” you gasped out loud, “w—what happened?” You said, going close to him. 

“I tried to find you,” he said, voice wrecked, “I tried but I couldn’t, I thought that maybe you blocked me.”

“No—I was in a meeting and my phone died, god I’m so sorry—fuck, come inside.” You shook your head in distress.

“Y/N,” he groaned, and you gently helped him when he didn’t move, like he wasn’t allowed to, “I fucked up.”

“Shh, come inside, it’s cold,” you whispered and he nodded after a moment of hesitation. You tried to be calm, you tried to take control of the situation for once and he listened, this time he did when you took him to your room. 

You didn’t ask how this happened to him, only guiding him to the bathroom, “you’re soaked and bleeding, take a shower, i’ll put your clothes in the wash and dryer.”

He opened his mouth to say otherwise, but you didn’t let him, grabbing a fresh towel and handing it to him. 

“Are you sure you want me here?” He asked, vulnerable. 

“I wouldn’t have opened the door otherwise, Jake, I do.”

He nodded, swallowing hard as he disappeared into the bathroom without another word and you worked your washing machine and dryer, sitting down right after, exhaling and letting your guard down, hands shaking with worry. 

You were glad Jake was taking his sweet time inside, because you had no clue how to go on with this situation. Jake stalling coming out simply because he was ashamed, also consumed in how good your shampoo smells. He was at your place, in your bathroom, all bloodied up, why? Because he couldn’t be normal for once and let you in. 

His walls came crashing down each time you came closer to him, but this time, he didn’t want them to go back up the second he touched you, this time, he wanted you inside with him. 

His clothes were dry very soon and you kept them in your room, waiting outside by the sofa, letting him come out all dressed up. The water stopped soon, the door creaking as he came out, and you were sitting on the sofa, hair still wet. 

Then Jake opened the door, you stood up at the noise, and he looked your way in a silent plea to ask you if he could sit next to you, and you nodded. He held up the bloodied towel, “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and you smiled softly, taking it away from him. 

The silence was too loud after as you both sat next to each other, you waited for him to say something, waited for the reality of tonight to settle in—to make sense, to stop trembling beneath your skin. And then he spoke as you took out your medicine kit, gently grabbing his hand to take a look at his bruised knuckles. 

“Y/N,” he took your name as if it was the only thing he knew. 

He watched you kneel in front of him, your eyes not angry, just steady, quiet, and unbearably kind. His fingers trembled in yours, you gently pulled the sleeve back, pressing a warm damp cloth to the wounds, making him wince slightly at the contact. 

“Sorry,” you breathed out. 

“I deserve worse,” he breathed back. 

“No, you don’t,” you said, looking up at him. 

He laughed under his breath, “why are you so kind to me? I don’t deserve it, Y/N.”

“You don’t get to decide what I give you, Jake,” you replied, “you’re bleeding, again.”

“Not my first time.”

You gripped him tighter, “and that’s supposed to make it better?”

“No,” he said, voice low, “just means I’m good at it by now.”

You didn’t answer. Just ripped the antiseptic packet open a little more forcefully than necessary and pressed it to the bruised line of his knuckles. He flinched.

“Good,” you muttered. ��Means you still feel something.”

“God, Y/N—”

“No,” you snapped, trying your best to act normal but you both were far from that, “not yet.”

You cleaned the split in his skin with the kind of precision that only comes from anger—controlled, careful, but deeply furious.

“You don’t get to act like none of this mattered,” you said, eyes locked on his wounds. “You don’t get to disappear into your guilt and then show up bleeding and say I didn’t know where else to go. That’s not enough.”

His jaw clenched. “I didn’t come for a reward.”

“Good,” you said coldly. “Because you’re not getting one.” You wrapped gauze around his hand slowly, tight enough that it would sting.

He didn’t pull away.

“I came because I thought I’d lose you,” he said through his teeth, “I came because I’m fucking terrified that I already did.”

“Who’s fault is that?” You said, standing up, “you keep doing this thing, you pull me in, let me see you and then the very second it gets real, you shut the door in my face.”

“I know,” he said. Loud. Frustrated. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t see the way you look at me when I say the wrong thing? Like you’re trying so fucking hard not to walk away?”

“You told me to go!”

“I didn’t mean it!”

“Then don’t say it!” You shouted, “don’t look at me like I’m everything one second and then act like I mean nothing the next!”

“I didn’t think you’d stay.”

“I stayed!”

You were both breathing hard now. Staring at each other like you didn’t know whether to cry or kiss or throw something, You still stood in between Jake’s legs, him looking up at you.  Jake ran a hand through his damp hair, pacing a few feet before turning back to you, eyes wide and glassy.

“I ruin things,” he said, “I always have. I don’t know how to love something without fucking it up. But I wanted you anyway—I still do.”

Your throat tightened. “And I’m supposed to what? Carry all of that? Be your exception?”

“No,” he said, stepping closer. “I just need you to see that I’m trying. Even if it’s ugly. Even if I’m bleeding and loud and afraid. I need you to see me, and stay anyway.”

You stared at him.

He looked like someone who hadn’t slept in days. Someone who’d gone through hell and walked straight into another fire because you were at the center of it.

Your voice cracked, “you don’t make it easy.”

“I know.”

You looked down at your hands—his blood still faintly on your fingertips. He reached out slowly. You didn’t move. Not when his fingers curled around your wrist. Not when he pulled you in his lap, not when his forehead leaned into yours like he was holding on for dear life.

“I hate that I hurt you,” he whispered. “But I’d rather burn with you than freeze without you.”

“I wasn’t gonna leave, Jake.”

“I know.”

“Then why—”

“Because I’m sick,” he said suddenly. “Sick of being the one who’s always too much. Too angry. Too wrong. I get one thing right—one fucking exam—and even then I screw it up by throwing a punch at someone who talks shit about you and then picking a fight with the only person who’s ever actually looked at me like I could be more.”

Your breath hitched. You grabbed the gauze, wrapped it around his hand. Tighter than needed.

“Then be more, Jake.”

He stared at you.

“Be more,” you repeated, “because I’m tired of being in love with someone who’s so determined to hate himself.”

That silenced him. Fully. Until he spoke again.

“You’re in love with me?”

The words dropped like a bomb between you.

You froze. Swallowed. Refused to take it back, chuckling to yourself at how easily you let go and told him that, “yeah—god help me, I am.”

Then you tried to move back, only his arms wrapped around your waist tighter, holding you in place, “you don’t get to say that and walk away.” He growled. 

“Who said I’m walking away?” You mumbled, holding onto his shoulder for support. 

It was unreal, how close you guys were but still not close enough, it was never enough. 

“You’re mad at me,” Jake stated. 

“I should be mad.” 

“I’m mad too,” he added. 

“Good,” you rolled your eyes, trying to move again.

But he didn’t let you, not this time, his thumb brushing your cheek. 

That was it. That was when Jake finally let go. He couldn’t delay this anymore, not again, not when you were right in front of him, not when your soft lips brushed so tenderly against his bruised ones, not when you told him you were in love with him—not when he knew he had to have you. 

He surged up and into you—hands gripping your face, mouth pressing against yours like it was the only way to breathe. It wasn’t gentle, it wasn’t neat, it was everything you’d been holding back.

Lips slotted together, you could taste blood on your tongue from where he was hurt before, which only made you groan into the kiss, he was frustrated, so frustrated, not having it in him to let go for even a second. 

You gasped, arms flying up to clutch at his shoulders, pressed chest-to-chest, his body was warm—too warm—and you could feel his tension in every line.

You broke the kiss first, panting, eyes wide. “You shouldn’t—” you tried to say, especially when his body was hurting. 

“I have to,” he breathed, leaning in again. “Let me, just once. Please.”

You didn’t stop him, grabbing his nape and pulling him into you once again, because when Jake kissed you again, it felt like pain, penance, and pleasure all in one. It was as if he was trying to earn your forgiveness with his mouth, trying to pour out everything he couldn’t say to you, groaning into your mouth when your hips shifted over his lap. 

“I fucking—” He said midway the kiss, “god I—”

You shushed him gently, “you don’t have to say it.”

“I love you,” he breathed out, forehead pressed against yours, eyes earnest and full of life for the first time since you saw him, “I don’t care if it’s too early, I can’t fucking not say it, I love you, I—”

Before he could ruin the moment with the spiral in his throat, before he could pull back in fear, you pressed your lips against his like it was the only thing anchoring you to the earth.

He responded like he’d been starving. Mouth hot, desperate, hands gripping your waist like the world was falling apart and he only had seconds left to memorize you. The kiss was brutal in the way it made you feel, there was no choreography to it, no elegance—just lips, teeth, breath, and aching hunger.

His mouth was swollen. Your lips, bruised from how much he kissed you like he didn’t know how to stop.

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed.

You stared at him. “I don’t want you to.”

Then you grabbed his jaw once you heard him wince, “does it hurt?” You asked, pecking his jaw, trailing kisses all over. 

“It’s the only thing that doesn’t hurt,” he whispered, letting your lips take over, tracing every bit of his face and neck, his eyes closing with the fire that you ignited within him. 

“This feels like a dream,” he whispered.

“It’s not.”

“But it could be,” he added, almost to himself. “You—like this, in my lap, in your apartment, touching me like I’m not a monster.”

You cupped his face again, guiding his eyes to yours, “you’re not a monster, Jake.”

“You don’t know the things I’ve thought.”

“Then tell me.”

His voice cracked, “I thought I’d die if I didn’t see you again. I thought that maybe I’m already ruined and maybe I don’t deserve you but I can’t stop loving you anyway. I thought—”

You kissed him again. Slow this time. Deep and aching, “then stop thinking,” you whispered, “just be here—with me.”

His fingers trembled as they curled into the hem of your shirt.

“Can I?”

You nodded.

He pulled the fabric up carefully, reverently, and you helped him, raising your arms until it was off. His breath hitched. Not because of how you looked—but because he was looking at you like that.

Like something sacred.

You grabbed the back of his hoodie, tugging. He hesitated for a split second before pulling it over his head. The sight made your breath catch.

His torso was littered with bruises, some dark purple, some already fading yellow. His ribcage dipped where the muscle was taut with tension. You reached out, fingertips grazing over a particularly harsh mark near his side.

He flinched. “That one’s from earlier.”

Your jaw clenched, “you shouldn’t fight because of me.”

“I wasn’t,” he said, “I was fighting every voice in my head that said I wasn’t worth your love.”

You kissed the bruise.

He gasped.

“I hate that they ever made you feel like that.”

His hands slid back up to your sides, lips brushing your jaw. “You make it go quiet.”

“I want to,” you whispered.

Your kisses grew slow again, heavier with emotion than desire. You could feel his heartbeat where your chest pressed into his, your hands in his hair, his head tilted just enough to deepen the kiss. You rolled your hips slightly in his lap, and he groaned again, burying his face in your neck.

“Fuck, Y/N—”

“Jake,” you murmured, your nails dragging softly along his back, “look at me.”

He lifted his head. His eyes—wild, glassy, full of everything he couldn’t say.

“I love you,” you said again. “I’m not afraid of it. So don’t be either.”

He leaned forward, pressing your foreheads together. 

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.”

“You’re so fucking pretty, did I ever tell you that?” He mumbled against the skin of your neck, brushing his lips all over before placing open mouthed kisses over the expanse of your clavicle, “so fucking pretty.”

Jake wasn’t gentle anymore, not when he’d been craving your presence, craving you. He couldn’t help but treat you like a reward, like he finally had won the only thing in life that actually mattered to him. 

He was quick to grab your waist and flip you over, getting on top of you on the couch that was too small for things he had planned in his mind. It was almost like a dam breaking the way his mouth was on your neck, biting, sucking, claiming you. 

“Jake—” you mumbled, your back arching as you felt his body pressing into you, fingers wrapped around his wet locks as he marked your skin with every ounce of desperation he had, his fingers mapping out every inch of your body as if he’s afraid he’d forget it—as if he could ever forget anything about you. 

The warmth of his hands brushed over your bra clad nipples, a whimper leaving your mouth. Jake wasn’t undressed yet you could feel him getting hard, and god you wondered just how big he was, grinding into you as if he was already inside your cunt. 

“I hurt you so fucking much,” Jake mumbled, lips ghosting over your tit, “now I’ll hurt you in the way you want me to,” he said with dark eyes, yanking your bra down enough for your nipples to show, latching his mouth to you all in light speed. 

All his life Jake couldn’t take control of anything, but seeing you shiver under him just made sense to Jake, he had to take control—he had to make you feel so good, you wouldn’t ever look at anyone else. 

“You’re fucking crazy,” you whispered, already disheveled with how needy you were, wetness pooling in your panties, soiling the new pair you had put on not too long ago. 

“Yeah? You drive me crazy, baby,” he chuckled, and that sound went straight to your pussy. Jake was hot, so fucking hot, but him using nicknames on you with his deep tone—only god knows how you would survive this. 

You bit your lip to conceal your moans, which only infuriated Jake, biting your nipple harshly to make sure you scream, “don’t fucking hide your pretty voice,” he said. 

His hands went to your other breast and he gave it a tight squeeze, your eyes were on him as you watched his lips parting, letting his tongue make contact with the tip of your very hardened nub. He bites down on your nipple, making you cry out, but quickly soothes it with his tongue before switching to the other side, he wants to drive you wild with pleasure, to possess every inch of your body.

Lost in the haze of pleasure, you surrender yourself completely to Jake’s possessive touches, letting him have his way with you. The room fills with the sounds of your moans and his desperate sucking, a symphony of carnal desire. In this moment, there is nothing but you and Jake, and the burning hunger that consumes you both. 

Jake’s hands roam across your body, his touch electric against your skin. He grabs your hips, pulling you flush against him as he claims your lips in yet another searing kiss, tongue delving into your mouth, hot and hungry, making you more hungry for his touch—for him. 

“I—can’t,” you whimpered, wanting more of him. 

Jake chuckled, “can’t even speak now, hm? What happened to the feisty lil’ girl who couldn’t shut up?” 

“Fuck, shut up,” you mumbled, tugging on his hair harder, which only made him groan and squeeze your tits harder, coming up to brush his lips against yours, hot breaths intertwining as he smirks, hand travelling down your body, very close to the hem of your shorts. 

“Want me to shut up?” He asked, squeezing your neck with slight pressure, your mouth opening in a gasp—he took the opportunity to spit in your mouth, watching your eyes widen as watches you gulp it down, “good fucking girl,” he mumbles. 

You were too gone to function anymore and you had just started, but you knew one thing—whatever Jake wanted, you’d let him do it to you. 

That man was no less than a Greek god with how sharp his features looked, especially in the dim light of the room, muscles flexing, abs on full display as he held himself up on top of you to press kisses all over. 

In a swift second, he pulled you up to unclasp your bra, throwing it away somewhere to continue pressing hot mouthed kisses down the valley of your breasts, and down your tummy, caressing it with the pad of his thumb, spending a good few seconds covering the expanse of your skin. 

You breathed harder once he reached the waistband of your shorts, his hooded eyes, almost drunk, looking up at you before he swiftly pulled them down, throwing them on the floor somewhere.

He couldn’t be gentle even if he tried, not when he was this thirsty, holding your legs open as he settled in the limited space that the couch held for him. Madman—that’s what he was and you couldn’t help but moan when he got closer to your panty clad cunt, burying his nose in the wet fabric, sniffing the scent of your arousal, groaning as he locked your thighs under his arms, which flexed harder now. 

You moaned his name as if a broken record repeating the same thing over and over again and he only mumbled things you couldn’t hear in your cunt, licking the already wet cloth, biting his lip at the first taste of you, “fuck—you’re so fucking perfect,” he says licking you harder, kissing your inner thighs alongside, leaving bites all over—he was feral. 

He slid your panties to the side, and the sight he had in front of him drove him to the edge. Jake was an impatient man, yes, he was messy, he was not the softest, but seeing you like this just made him realize how much crazier he could be. 

That first taste emboldens him and he dives in like a man starved, lapping at your folds like he’s trying to consume you entirely. 

His desperate tongue delves deep inside, fucking you with rapid strokes and curling to hit your sweet spot. You cry out sharply at the intense sensation, fingers tangling in his tousled raven hair to hold him in place. He grips your thighs tightly, holding you down and open for his onslaught as he devours you. 

Jake zeroes in on your clit, flicking and circling the sensitive bundle of nerves rapidly. Your back arches off the couch as he suckles hard on the throbbing bud, two fingers pumping inside your clenching hole.

“Fuck—Jake, I’m gonna cum!” You wail, thighs trembling violently around his head as your climax approaches rapidly. He doubles his efforts, fucking you harder with his fingers and lashing your clit mercilessly with his tongue.

He curls his fingers to stroke your G-spot with every thrust, drawing out more of your copious arousal to lap up greedily. Your walls start to flutter and clench around him as the pressure builds unbearably.

 Jake chuckled, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your body. “You like that, baby?” He practically purred, before sucking your clit into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. 

“Fuck—yes,” you gasped, your head falling back against the couch. Jake was relentless, his tongue exploring every inch of you, driving you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Don’t stop,” you pleaded, your thighs trembling as you stared at the ceiling with your mouth open, desperate for air. 

Jake pulled back for a moment, looking up at you with a wicked grin, “you want more, kitten?” He teased, running a finger along your slit, “go on then, beg for it.”

You groaned in frustration, but you were too far gone to care, “please, Jake,” you begged, fueling his ego. 

“Shhh, be a good lil’ kitten for me, yeah?” He mumbled into your core mindlessly, sending shivers up your spine as your thighs shake. He didn’t stop, but just when your ecstasy was about to crash—

He stopped. 

You let out a frustrated groan and Jake only got up with the essence of you sprawled over his chin, his hard on begging to be freed. 

“Fuck?” You asked, trying to get up on your elbows, looking at him incredulously. 

He only gave you a once over, tongue poking his cheek from inside before he came closer, swooping you up in his arms easily as you yelped, eyes wide as he carried you to the bedroom, “no patience, huh?” He asked. 

He was proud of himself for making you this weak, for cracking your high wall down so he could see you, so he could ruin you. Jake was possessive, especially after knowing what you and Heeseung went through, he wanted you to have the best, and he was willing to be the best for you. 

“I—I was gonna cum!” You said, holding on to him for support.

“Did I say you could?” He replied smoothly. 

“What—Jake what the fuck?” You whined and he only chuckled.

“Be patient, love, or else you won’t be coming all fucking night, yeah?” He said as he let you get down on the bed. 

You looked so innocent, eyes watery, hair messy, looking up at him like an angry little kitten trying to look tough. He climbed the bed and you moved back, till your back hit the headboard and he hovered above you, caressing your cheek as he cupped your jaw, tilting your head up to look him in his eye. Your heartbeat speeding up yet again, and good lord you loved being manhandled by Jake. 

“What are you thinking?” He asked, thumb pushing on your lower lip. 

“Nothing.” You mumbled. 

He leaned in closer, “not thinking of my cock inside your pretty little cunt, hm?” He asks, watching you shiver at the thought, “by the time I'm done with you, you’ll be begging me to let you cum.”

Your jaw clenched as you slide your hand up Jake’s torso, tracing all the way from his abs to his neck, his own body reacting to your touch, cock twitching inside his pants by the time your hand rested on his nape, pulling him even closer so your noses were touching. 

“You know, Jake, you talk big game. Don’t make promises you can’t back up,” you mumbled to rile him up. 

Jake’s eyes flashed with a mixture of lust and irritation at your challenge, “oh, you’re going to regret those words,” he whispered, his hands gripping your hips possessively. “I’m going to make you beg for my cock, baby.”

He punctuated his statement with a sharp thrust of his fingers, two of them plunging deep into your sopping wet pussy. You gasped, your back arching off the bed as he worked them in and out, stroking along your sensitive walls.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he panted, his thumb rubbing firm circles on your clit. “I can’t wait to feel this perfect little cunt wrapped around my cock.”

You moaned, your hips rolling to meet his hand as he fucked you with his fingers. “Then stop talking and do something about it,” you shot back, your voice breathy with desire.

Jake chuckled darkly, withdrawing his fingers only to bring them to his mouth. He sucked them clean, his eyes never leaving yours as he savored your taste. “Mmh—delicious,” he purred, “but I’m not done playing with you yet.”

Before you could protest, he was pushing your thighs apart and settling between them. His tongue delved into your folds, lapping at your arousal like a man starved. You cried out, your fingers tangling in his hair as he devoured your pussy with single-minded intensity.

He worked you over mercilessly, his tongue and lips and teeth finding all the right spots to drive you wild. You bucked against his face, your thighs trembling as the pleasure built inside you. Just when you thought you might burst, Jake would back off, leaving you desperate and aching for release.

“Jake, please,” you whimpered, tugging on his hair in a futile attempt to guide him back to where you needed him most, “I need to cum. Please let me cum.”

He lifted his head, his chin glistening as he looked up at you. “Not yet,” he shook his head, his fingers continuing their maddeningly slow circles on your clit, “I want to hear you scream first.”

“I fucking can’t!” You breathed out, trying to control your moans again, “someone’s gonna hear and—ah—complain about it,” you said, which only made him scoff. 

“Is that it, hm? Have it your way then, princess,” he mumbled, yanking your soiled panties down all the way, balling it up in his first to make a gag out of it and shoving it down your mouth, “now you can scream all your want, Y/N.” He said, taking your name in his deep voice. 

And if you weren’t crazy before, now you had reached your limit of madness, even a poke from his side was like a pleasant burning wound to your skin, his actions also made you realize just how hungry Jake was for being the one in control. 

You squirmed beneath Jake, feeling utterly at his mercy as he continued his torturous teasing. The gag in your mouth muffled your moans but couldn’t silence them completely, much to Jake’s enjoyment. Your body arched, yearning for more, desperate for release.

“Such a needy lil’ thing, aren’t you?” Jake growled, his fingers still circling your sensitive bud, “I can feel how wet you are, taste how wet you are, dripping for me, hm?”

His words made you clench, fresh arousal coating his fingers. He gathered some of your slickness and slowly dragged it up to your throbbing clit, applying just the right amount of pressure. Your hips bucked up in hopes of seeking more contact.

“Hm—so responsive,” Jake purred, looking pleased with himself, “I could do this all night—keep you on the edge, begging so desperately for me.”

“Please—” you tried to say around the gag, your eyes pleading, you were so close, teetering on the brink of an explosive climax. Just a little more.

But Jake seemed determined to deny you that satisfaction, easing off right as you were about to fall over into your state of euphoria, frustration bubbled up inside you, mingling with the overwhelming lust coursing through your veins.

“You’re going to have to do better than that, baby,” Jake taunted, nipping at your inner thigh, “I want to hear you scream my name—let everyone know who you belong to.”

His fingers circled, feather-light touches that drove you wild with need. You thrashed beneath him, incoherent noises of desperation spilling from your lips. Jake just chuckled darkly, clearly enjoying your plight, removing your gag to hear you gasp loudly, his name on the tip of your tongue. 

Jake was cruel, so cruel the way he denied your orgasm yet again with a smirk playing on his face, a whole one eighty from how he was an hour back and you were crying by now, something he seemed to enjoy too as he licked your face, tasting the salty teardrop you let out, “this makes me wanna ruin you more, y’know?” 

“Fuck—Jake, let me cum please,” you sobbed as he took you in his arms. 

“You wanna cum, hm?” He asked as you settled on his lap, his hard on pressing against your thigh as you nodded, “fuck, you look so pretty crying like that for me, like a doll, a doll for me to use, hm?”

You couldn’t take it anymore, getting off and undoing his pant buttons as he watched you with amusement how you struggled to take off his pants and boxers, only to find his cock waiting for you, hard and proud. 

Jake’s cock was throbbing, hard and ready to burst, as you took him into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his tip in a teasing manner. You could taste the salty beads of precum leaking from his slit, the flavor sending a jolt of desire straight to your core.

“Fuck—baby,” Jake groaned, his fingers threading through your hair as you bobbed your head, taking him deeper into your throat. “Your mouth feels so good. Keep going just like that, good girl.”

You moaned around his length, the vibrations making him shudder. Your own arousal was dripping down your thighs, coating them with your slick essence. The wet sounds of your slurping filled the room, mingling with Jake’s heavy breaths and grunts of pleasure.

“Shit—fuck, take it easy, I won’t be able to hold back," he panted, his grip on your hair tightening, “I’m gonna fucking come down your throat if you keep sucking me like that.”

You redoubled your efforts, eager to taste his release. Your tongue flattened against the underside of his shaft as you sucked harder, determined to milk him of every last drop. Just as you felt him start to swell, signaling his impending orgasm, you pulled away with a pop.

Jake’s eyes jolted open, a mix of confusion and frustration flashing across his face. “What the fuck, baby? Why the fuck did you stop?”

You just smiled coyly up at him, licking your lips. “Because I want you to cum inside me. I want to feel you fill me up with your hot cum, or are you too much of a coward to fuck me?” You teased, your grin making him scoff. 

God he loved you. 

Jake growled, a predatory gleam in his eyes. In a flash, he grabbed your hips and flipped you onto your side, your back pressed firmly against his torso. 

Before you could even process the sudden change in position, he was lined up at your entrance, the head of his cock nudging your slick folds.

“Teasing me will only get you punished,” he warned, his voice low and husky with desire. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to walk straight for a week.”

With that promise, he slammed into you, burying himself to the hilt in one powerful thrust. You cried out at the sudden intrusion, your back arching as he filled you completely. Jake set a brutal pace, pounding into you with wild abandon.

You let out a sharp cry as Jake’s thick cock stretched you open, filling you so deeply that you could feel him bulging through your lower abdomen. The feeling of his hard length pulsing inside you sent shockwaves of pleasure through your body, making you arch your back and press your ass against him.

“Lord—ah yes,” you gasped, grinding against him, “you’re—so fucking big.”

Jake grunted in response, his fingers digging into your hips as he continued to pound into you at a furious pace. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and your needy moans filled the room, mixing with the creaking of the bed frame beneath you.

“Shit, your cunt is so tight,” Jake mumbled, his breath hot against your neck. “Squeezing my cock like a desperate doll—you were made for me, baby. Made to take my dick and milk me dry.”

His filthy words only heightened your arousal, making you clench even tighter around him. You could feel your orgasm building again, the tension coiling in your core as he hit that special spot deep inside you with each thrust.

“Please don’t stop, not this time,” you pleaded, your nails digging into his thighs. “Fuck me harder, Jake. I’m so fucking close.”

He was quick to flip you over again so you were resting on your back, his hips settling in between you as he held your thighs up, your legs resting on both his shoulders with ease as he snapped into you harder, plunging his cock with more need, as if he was a monster hungry for lust and only lust.

Jake snarled, his hips snapping forward with a newfound vigor. One hand moved around to rub firm circles around your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your body began to tremble, your breath coming out in short gasps as you found yourself on the brink of ecstasy.

“Cum for me,” Jake demanded, pinching your clit hard, “I want to feel you cum all over my dick, baby.”

With a scream of his name, you practically exploded, your pussy clamping down around him like a vice as your orgasm crashed over you. Your body convulsed, your back bowing as wave after wave of intense pleasure washed through you, which shocked Jake because you weren’t just having an orgasm. 

You were squirting all over his cock. 

Jake followed shortly after, his cock pulsing as he spilled his release deep inside you, as he breathed hard, watching you with surprised eyes.

“Fuck,” he groaned, grinding against you to prolong your shared climax, “you’re so fucking hot, so fucking mine.”

You whimpered at the feeling of his hot cum painting your walls, the sensation making your pussy flutter around his shaft. Jake held you close as you both rode out the aftershocks, his softening cock still buried inside you.

“You’re mine,” he mumbled, “say it.”

“Yours—I’m yours,” you breathed as best as you could. 

“Again.”

“I’m yours, Jake.”

“Fuck—again.”

“So so fucking yours, I’m all yours Jake.”

“Mine,” he whispered, so possessive. 

After a few moments, Jake carefully pulled out and rolled you onto your back. He pressed gentle kisses along your jawline and down your neck, his touch soothing and tender in contrast to the rough passion from moments before.

“That was intense,” he murmured, nuzzling against your collarbone, “I don’t think i’ll ever get enough of you, baby. You’re fucking addictive.”

You smiled up at him, reaching up to cup his face. "I could say the same about you. The way you fuck me, it’s like you’re a fucking beast.”

“Was I too harsh?” He asked, placing soft kisses all over, “I’m sorry I just lost control—you have no idea how badly I need you, I don’t think I can stop,” he confessed. 

You kissed him again, “then don’t stop, just don’t.”

That’s all he needed to hear for the night, that you were finally his, and he was yours. He smirked, the night was just getting started. 

Chapter 10: Hate me less? You love me more. 

You don’t remember how the night ended, not when Jake kept his promise of how you wouldn’t be able to walk anymore once he was done with you, and he was precise about it. He was far from done when he made you fall apart on his cock so many times, you lost count. 

It was a crazy switch up once you both were done, he took care of you, almost like he was made for it, helping you clean up in little bathtub which was definitely too small to fit the both of you, yet he helped you bath, a faint blush on his face as you laughed once he tried to act sly, touching you again when you were so sensitive and overstimulated. 

Turns out, Jake can be super clingy when he has to be, also not letting you go once you get out of the tub, helping you dry your hair, helping you moisturize your body, helping you smile by kissing you every few seconds. 

He held you to sleep, not before hearing you say you actually want him and it’s not a dream. Jake doesn’t remember if he ever felt this way before, this warmth called happiness that you provided him so easily. 

“I love you,” he mumbled to your sleeping figure, he was whipped, already thinking of your future together. Yeah, maybe it all happened too quickly, he still wouldn’t have it any other way. He wouldn’t mind getting through all the hurt again if it meant that he’d wake up to you sleeping next to him—to you loving him. 

It was perhaps the best day of Jake’s life. 

The air felt different today.

Not because of the weather, which was finally warm and breezy after days of storm and stress, but because Jake was walking beside you—not behind, not ahead—beside you. His fingers were laced with yours, his thumb brushing over your skin every few steps like he was still checking if this was real, he still couldn’t believe it. 

It was.

You passed the main quad slowly, in no rush. The two of you didn’t need to say much. Conversations dimmed as you walked through. You could feel the glances, the whispers.

Someone definitely said your name. Then his.

And then, clear as day, they whispered. 

“Wait—are they actually holding hands?”

Jake didn’t flinch.

Not like he would’ve, weeks ago. Not like the boy who couldn’t stand being seen, being known. Instead, he just grabbed your hand a little tighter—casual, sure, and completely unbothered. His expression said it all—Yeah, and?

You chuckled. “Think they’re combusting?”

“Oh, definitely,” he said, tugging you closer with a smugness he barely bothered to hide anymore. “Especially that one girl who’s walking with me, who swore she’d never even look at me.”

“She wasn’t entirely wrong,” you teased. “You were kind of a menace.”

He groaned, tossing his head back, “were?”

You laughed, and it made him smile, soft and full, the kind of smile he used to hide and now gave you freely.

“You’re doing that look again,” he said, side-eyeing you. “Like you’re psychoanalyzing me.”

“Maybe I am. Can’t help it. You’re a walking dissertation, y’know?”

“Yeah? What’s the title?”

You looked up at him with a shrug. “How to fall for someone you’re supposed to hate.”

That made him stop walking.

You blinked, startled, but he was already turning to face you, his hoodie sleeves pushed up just enough to show the fading bruises on his knuckles—old reminders of the version of him you never gave up on.

“I’m glad you did,” he said. “Fall for me, even when I made it so damn hard.”

You smiled slowly, the kind of smile that made his breath catch. “You still do.”

“Yeah, well,” he squeezed your hand, “at least I’m hot.”

You were too busy rolling your eyes to realize you’d just walked past Heeseung and his friends until the entire bench went awkwardly quiet. Heeseung looked up, eyes flicking from your joined hands to your face, and then to Jake—who didn’t even spare him a glance.

He was too focused on you. Too content stealing a bite of your ice cream like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Let’s go,” you muttered, trying not to laugh as you nudged him forward.

Jake followed. No hesitation.

Because this, the hand holding, the quiet teasing, the stares that didn’t matter anymore, this was normal.

And for the first time in his life, Jake finally understood: Normal didn’t mean boring.

It meant chosen. It meant enough.

It meant being yours.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

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[minhaemin]

NOTHING SAFE IS WORTH THE DRIVE - L.HS

pairing: playboy!heeseung x inexperienced!reader

summary: lee heeseung was an asshole. you had decided that. having to work with him on a group project made things a hundred times worse. but when a heart longing to experience love for the first time meets someone more than willing to give it, the line between irritation and something deeper starts to blur.

wc: 37.9k (i’m sorry)

warnings: reader is completely inexperienced, angst, miscommunication, reader falls too quickly and gets flustered very easily, kinda slow burn but not really, heeseung plays basketball but it’s barely mentioned, heeseung calls reader “princess” a lot, kissing, making out, features wonyoung (ive), yunjin (le sserafim), beomgyu (txt), sieun (stayc), reader cries a lot

smut warnings: dry humping, oral (f rec.), unprotected sex, virginity loss

🎵: playlist

notes: it’s here!! i'm SO sorry this took so long, i was having issues with tumblr :( this was originally only supposed to be 20k words… idk what happened. but it’s a rollercoaster and i love it!!! have fun reading! <3

you had heard of him before you ever saw him. everyone knew his name- whispered in dorm hallways, watched at games, the life of the party. a reputation built on charm, late-night hookups, and the kind of confidence that made girls fall to his feet with every word he said. you never cared to pay him any mind. but today, you walked into class and found him sitting in your seat. lee heeseung. just your luck. you hesitated for half a second before walking up to him. he was hunched over his phone, tapping out a message, looking about as invested in being here as a teenager at their grandma’s bingo game. "that’s my seat." his eyes flicked up at you, slow and lazy, like you’d interrupted something important. he gave you a once-over- casual, unreadable- and then, just as plainly, looked back at his phone. "doesn’t have your name on it." you exhaled sharply. of course. "i’ve been sitting here all semester." "congrats." he didn’t even look at you this time. "find another spot." and just like that, every rumor, every complaint you’d heard about him settled into place. arrogant. entitled. exactly the kind of guy you had no patience for. fine. whatever. you weren’t about to argue with someone who clearly wasn’t worth the energy. wordlessy, you drop into the seat beside him, pull out your notebook, and act like he doesn’t exist. he didn’t pay you any mind after that, instead shifting so he was leaned back against the seat, his feet kicked out in front of him. you wondered what made heeseung so popular with the ladies. sure, he was attractive. that much was undeniable. sadly. but you had barely had a ten second interaction with him, and he had already managed to piss you off. you bit the inside of your cheek, holding back a sigh as you waited for the professor to show up. the universe had to have been out for you today. you woke up late, you’re out of your go-to breakfast bars, and you’re sitting next to lee heeseung in class. you were silently praying nothing worse could happen. you hadn’t signed up for this. you were just trying to get through this class and move on with your day. but here you were, next to the campus playboy himself, the guy who never seemed to take anything seriously, the guy who had a different girl on his arm every weekend. you tried not to look over at him. you really did. but he practically radiated attention. his messy hair fell perfectly in place, and his broad shoulders took up way too much space for someone who was so annoying. heeseung wasn’t talking to you, but you could feel his presence next to you, and it was somehow more distracting than if he had been talking to you. the way his fingers tapped on the desk, the faint cologne smell that wafted over to you, even the way his shoes shifted against the floor- it was like he was intentionally making everything around him more noticeable. you hated how easily he commanded the room. you hated that even now, you were aware of him more than anyone else. and of course, the universe had to pick today to make you sit right next to him. of course, it had to be this class, the one you hated the most. the one you dreaded attending every single day. you were so deep in thought that you barely noticed when your professor- dr. kim- walked in, snapping you out of your spiral. he glanced up from his notes, then scanned the room with a smile. “alright, everyone,” dr. kim began, “i’ve got the group project assignments here. please try to work well with your partners, and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.” your eyes widened slightly at his words, gulping as your eyes flickered down to your notebook. group project? there had been no mention of this before. or maybe there was, and you just forgot.

  there was one thing about you. you hated group projects. they were the bane of your existence. you preferred to work alone, at your own pace, and not having to be stressed out by a freeloader or have awkward study sessions that consisted of deafening silence. "and for the final pair…" dr. kim’s voice broke through your haze, "y/n and heeseung." fuck. of course, the universe was never on your side. your eyes shot to him automatically, your stomach doing a flip that had nothing to do with excitement. his eyes flickered to meet yours, his expression unreadable. and then, a quirk of his lips and a tilt of his head. like he was observing you. you groaned internally, wishing for nothing more than for the floor to swallow you whole, turning your gaze back to your notebook. the professor was still talking, but all you could focus on was how you'd somehow ended up in this mess. you barely met this guy, he was an ass, and now you had to work on a project with him. “guess we better get used to each other, huh?” heeseung’s voice was low and casual, breaking the silence between you two. you forced a smile, nodding at him, “i guess.” you were already dreading the next few weeks. you sat in silence for the rest of the class. he didn’t speak to you, and you didn’t speak to him. you wondered if things would’ve gone differently if your morning had gone better, or if heeseung hadn’t been such an asshole. you couldn’t wait to tell wonyoung and yunjin about how shitty your day was already. as dr. kim wrapped up, you sat there, wondering just how you were going to survive this. there was no way to escape the fact that you were going to have to work with heeseung. you only hoped you’d survive it with your sanity intact. he had already proved just how arrogant he could be. the moment dr. kim dismisses class, you’re up out of your seat, dying to get out of this hell-sent class and to the comfort of your go-to café with your friends. you’re so close to the door when you hear his voice- smooth and casual, like he owns the place. “hey, y/n,” heeseung calls, and you freeze, your hand still on the strap of your bag. you turn to face him, trying to hide the frustration written all over your face. “yeah?” you reply, fighting to keep your tone neutral, but he can hear the hint of annoyance in it anyway. he flashes that signature smirk of his, leaning casually against the desk like he owns the whole room. “we’re gonna need to exchange numbers for the project,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “so we can work around my basketball stuff, y’know? i can’t really be falling behind.” you feel your eye twitch. of course anything other than class would be more important to him. the star player of the basketball team is unable to commit to a school project. you push the annoyance aside, instead reaching into your back pocket and pulling out your phone. “sure,” you mutter, handing it to him after opening the phone app. you can’t help but notice how his fingers brush against yours, the touch sending a small chill through you. he taps a few things into your phone before handing it back. “i’ll text you later,” he says, his smile a little too knowing. you can already feel the heat rising in your cheeks, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction of letting him see it. you nod curtly and turn on your heels, heading straight out the door.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

“and then i woke up late! nothing is working out today!” you whisper-shout, dramatically letting your head fall into your hands as wonyoung watches you with a smile, yunjin scrolling on her phone and only halfway listening to your angry rant. “so, how’s that class going?” wonyoung asks, her tone casual as she stirs her drink. “you still surviving?” you had told them how much you hated your history class, practically having a complaint about something every time you attended it. “barely,” you mumble, finally lifting your head from your hands. “we got assigned group projects today.” wonyoung puffs out a breath of air, squinting her eyes. “brutal. who’d you get paired with?” you glance at her, your face blank, silently hoping she can see the despair in your eyes as you groan, throwing your head back in annoyance before mumbling, “lee heeseung.” you hear yunjin gasp slightly, looking back to see her finally staring at you with wide eyes before slamming her phone down on the table. “wait… heeseung?” she asks, a disbelieving scoff slipping past her lips. “as in the heeseung who’s like… the playboy basketball player?” you nod slowly, suddenly feeling way more nervous than you’d like to admit, “yep. that heeseung.” wonyoung laughs softly, pushing your shoulder with her arm. “no way. the universe really hates you, doesn’t it?” you glare at her, flipping her off with an eye roll, “it’s not funny. i’m gonna slam my head into the nearest wall.” “let’s not do that,” yunjin shakes her head, placing her chin on her palm as she tilts her head at you, “what’s the big deal, anyway? he’s just a player.” you sigh, playing with the rim of your cup while shaking your head, “he was an absolute ass this morning. it was like… the worst first impression of anyone i’ve ever had. i actually can’t deal with that for a whole project on top of the class already being a shithole.” wonyoung leans back in her chair slightly, looking at you with an amused smile. “he can’t be that bad. maybe you’re just having a bad day and he happened to rub you the wrong way.” you roll your eyes, but her words don’t make you feel any better. “yeah, sure.” “plus,” yunjin adds, leaning forward with a smirk, “maybe you can have some fun. i mean, make the most of it. you’re working with lee heeseung. most girls would kill to be in your spot.” you stare at them both, you lips parted in slight disbelief.  “yeah, well they can have him.” the two girls smile at you, clearly more entertained by your suffering and how overdramatic you were. you bring up another topic, eager to get the attention off of you and your project from hell, instead shifting the focus to yunjin’s project in music theory.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

wonyoung was wrong. horribly wrong. heeseung was that bad. you check your phone for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, the glowing screen mocking you with the time. heeseung was supposed to be here half an hour ago. thirty whole minutes. you sigh, your fingers tightening around your phone. you had already texted him- a simple, are you still coming?- but it was staring back at you with “delivered” right under it. your fingers tap against the table impatiently as you stare down at the open laptop in front of you. the library is quieter than usual, the hum of low voices and the occasional rustle of pages filling the space. you consider packing up and leaving, your hands beginning to collect the pencils and highlighters you had set out around you. “you’re pretty dedicated to this, aren’t you?” you don’t even need to look up to know who it is. finally. slowly, you lift your gaze, leveling heeseung with an unimpressed stare. he’s standing there, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, looking completely unbothered. like he hasn’t just left you waiting for half an hour. “you’re half an hour late,” you deadpan. heeseung grins, like he finds your irritation amusing. “technicalities.” you scoff, shaking your head. “you said we’d meet at six.” “yeah, and i meant it,” he says, smirking at the way you roll your eyes. “it’s just that… time is a social construct.” is he fucking serious. you gape at him, your eyebrows furrowed. “are you seriously trying to use philosophy as an excuse?” “would you rather me lie?” he asks, finally sitting, slinging his backpack onto the table. “i’d prefer you actually care about this project. it’s a huge part of our grade, heeseung.” he waves a dismissive hand, pulling his laptop out of his backpack. “relax, princess. i’m here now, aren’t i?” you gulp at the nickname, turning your head back to your laptop to open up the assignment. “barely,” you mumble. heeseung chuckles, enjoying your annoyance. “fine. i had practice, it ran later than expected.” “that’s all you had to say,” you reply, your eyes flickering up to meet his, “and a text would’ve been nice.”

“can’t really text when i’m on the court, princess.” he shoots back, tilting his head with a smile. you exhale sharply, already regretting ever agreeing to meet with him. “can we just start? we’re already behind schedule.” luckily, he agrees, his eyes drifting to his own laptop. you sigh, your own attention drifting back to your laptop. all you can do is hope that things begin to go smoother than this at some point. because right now, you’re considering slamming your head into your laptop or the table. you try to focus, you really do. but it’s hard when every few minutes, heeseung is moving. drumming his fingers against the table, shifting in his seat, clicking his pen as he reads articles on his computer. finally, you snap, your eyes looking up at him from your screen. “are you always this restless, or do you just have an allergy to being productive?” heeseung blinks at you, lips quirking up like he finds your irritation entertaining. “nah, i’m just bored. this class is stupid.” “why are you like this?” you roll your eyes, glaring at him. “even if this class is stupid, it’s still an important project.” “like what?” he tilts his head, all faux innocence, completely ignoring your second statement. “charming? fun to be around?” you scoff. “you were late. plus you were a dick this morning.” heeseung chuckles, shaking his head lightly. “c’mon, princess. loosen up a bit. you’re making a big deal over nothing.” “look, i had a shitty day. you’re not making it any better,” you mutter, scoffing again. a voice in the back of your head wonders if you’ve broken the world record for scoffing this much in five minutes. heeseung leans forward, resting his chin on one hand. “i’m sorry. you know… i’m pretty good at relieving stress.” your jaw drops. “excuse me?” you clear your throat, trying to ignore the way his words have a blush creeping up your cheeks, instead turning your attention back to your laptop. “just focus on your work, heeseung. we need to plan out who’s gonna do what part.” you don’t miss how he tilts his head, a knowing smile on his lips as he clicks his tongue, nodding. “alright. just remember we have to work around my schedule.” you let out a groan, your head rolling back as you look back towards him. “heeseung!” he only laughs in response, shaking his head at how you get embarrassed when other students give you dirty glares. “sorry,” you mumble softly, your eyes glaring at him. “focus.” an hour later, you guys had made relatively good progress. you had divided tasks, and heeseung had done his work, for the most part. he still found every opportunity to get on your nerves, but at least he did so while being productive. you both pack up in silence, swinging your bag over your shoulder. you spare him a glance, mumbling out a small, “bye, heeseung.”

just as you step outside, you hear the unmistakable sound of sneakers scuffing against the pavement behind you, “where you headed?” you turn your head slightly to see heeseung strolling up beside you, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie as he looks down at you. “my dorm,” you reply, shifting your bag higher on your shoulder, “it’s late.” he nods, shrugging as he continues to walk next to you, “i’ll walk you.” you stop in your tracks, turning to face him with narrowed eyes. “why?” he tilts his head, raising his eyebrows slightly. “why not? i have nothing else to do.” “because…” you search for a logical reason, but there really seems to be none. you blurt out the only excuse that comes to mind. “it’s late.” he furrows his brows, falling in place beside you as you begin to walk again. “it’s 7:30.” you glance at him, shrugging. “that’s considered late for some people.” he smirks, tilting his head at you, an amused look on his face. “what if i just enjoy your company, princess?” your face heats at the nickname, and you roll your eyes, quickening your pace. “we barely know each other.” “well, i’d like to change that.” he keeps up effortlessly, long strides matching yours with ease. you scoff, trying to ignore the affect his words have on you. “i think you like to get on my nerves, heeseung.” he grins, nudging your shoulder lightly. “that too.” you sigh, glancing at him before looking straight ahead. but you don’t tell him to leave. maybe a part of you deep down enjoys the company. maybe you could allow for a part of yourself to feel wanted if the campus playboy was walking you back to your dorm. and if your heart stumbles a little when he walks just close enough for your arms to brush, you choose to ignore it. 

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

the door clicks shut behind you, sealing you off from the rest of the world. you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, pressing your back against the door as if that alone could ground you. it doesn’t. your mind is still running, replaying the moments heeseung’s arms brushed against yours, or the cocky smirks he sent your way, or the remarks he would make to get under your skin. with a frustrated groan, you push off the door and drop your bag onto your desk chair. you smush your cheeks with your hands, sighing, as if that will stop the warmth from creeping up your cheeks again. heeseung is nothing but trouble. you know that. everyone knows that. a playboy who knows how to charm his way into girls hearts with cocky words and athletic skills that has anyone swooning. and yet… your stomach twists. you shouldn’t like his attention. you shouldn’t feel special. heeseung flirts with everyone. that’s just how he was. so why was your stomach in knots? why was your mind replaying every interaction with him- no matter how insufferable he was? you collapse onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. you don’t know how to handle this. it’s not like you have experience. no boyfriend, no first kiss, hell, you haven’t even held hands with a guy romantically. the concept of flirting- especially with someone like heeseung, who’s it’s practically second nature to- is foreign to you. you don’t know whether you’re looking too deeply into things, or if there’s actually something there. you turn onto your side, hugging your pillow. reading too many romance novels had truly skewed your perception of love. this wasn’t a movie. the playboy wasn’t going to fall for the girl in class. this was reality, and things didn’t work like that. sadly. you’re overthinking it. reading too deeply into his words, his touches, his actions. but why does your heart speed up at the thought of him? you sigh, squeezing your eyes shut and hoping to turn off your overactive brain. but instead, you feel that same flutter in your chest every time you think about him. the sound of the door opening catches your attention, glancing behind you to see yunjin entering the dorm. her presence relives you slightly, knowing you’ll have a distraction from the storm of confusion in your brain right now. she sends a smile your way, kicking off her shoes and walking towards you.

"what’s going on?" she asks, raising an eyebrow as she surveys you curled up on your bed. "you look like you’re seconds away from ripping all your hair out.” you laugh breathlessly, flopping on your back so you can look at her without straining your neck. “i’m fine.” you watch as she smiles slightly, shaking her head and making her way to the edge of your bed, sitting down. “don’t lie. what is it?” you hesitate, knowing full well what’s bothering you. but you can’t exactly tell yunjin, can you? she knew you better than anyone, knew how insecure you were about having no experience. she would tell you to wake up, and not to fall for his playboy antics. so you shrug, pursing your lips before you speak. “it’s just school. stuff is piling up, and i’m behind on a few assignments. i’m just overwhelmed.” yunjin studies your face, not saying much. you can tell she doesn’t buy it, and for a second anxiety bubbles inside you at the thought that she knows, or that she’ll keep pushing. but she doesn’t. instead, she nods. “i get it. school’s been ass lately. you’re smart, though. you’ll figure it out.” you nod, appreciating the way she doesn’t pry. pushing yourself on your elbows so you’re sitting up, leaning against the headboard, you smile. “well, we’ll see if i actually make it through the semester this time.” she giggles, gesturing for you to move over as she cuddles up beside you. “if you don’t wanna talk about it, what about we watch tv? it could get your mind off of things. we could continue rewatching business proposal?” you smile, your eyes lighting up at the mention of the show. “please, i can’t live without my daily dose of hari and taemoo.” she laughs, turning on the tv and going to netflix. you feel a pang of guilt for lying to her, and her knowing that’s she’s lying. but yunjin is your closest friend, she won’t pressure you for answers, and knows when to stop digging. you shake your head slightly, pushing your anxieties to the back of your head. right now, you just need netflix and yunjin’s presence. everything else can come later.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

you tap your pen against the edge of your notebook, staring at the notes that made you want to rip your hair out. why you had to sit here and listen to your professor talk about smallpox for over an hour was unbeknownst to you. plus, you hadn’t slept well last night. you and yunjin were up until 2 a.m., and when you finally decided to sleep, you couldn’t. your mind kept racing, your bed felt too uncomfortable, the room felt too hot. you didn’t feel like yourself. and then he walked in. hands in his pockets, his backpack slung over one shoulder. he was late, of course he was. it should be annoying- it is annoying, he’s annoying- but for some reason, something in your chest tightens. your fingers curl around your pen, forcing your eyes back to your notebook. this was not happening. you’re just irritated. that’s all. he’s been an ass, he was late yesterday, he’s late today, and he walked in like he owns the place. while you’ve been sitting here for the past twenty minutes, writing down notes that are definitely going to be important for the project. but then he slides into the seat next to you, the smell of his cologne wafting your way as he clears his throat. “what’d i miss?” you turn, narrowing your eyes. “twenty minutes of lecture.” “no shit, sherlock.” he replies, pulling a notebook out of his bag. “mind sending me those notes later?” you shake your head with an eye roll, turning back to the front of the classroom. “this is why you need to show up on time.” “c‘mon, princess,” he mumbles, a hand reaching out to tug at the one of the legs of your chair, “help a guy out.” you gasp at the unexpected tug, turning to glare at him. “what the fuck? stop that.” he only tilts his head, shrugging with that same stupid smirk. your stomach flips again, but this time, you focus on the irritation bubbling inside you. this is exactly why you would never fall for heeseung. because he’s insufferable. he’s rude. he’s never on time. he uses flirting as an excuse to get out of everything, to get girls to bow at his feet. he chuckles, moving his hand away. “you’re annoyed.” “of course i am, heeseung. leave me alone.” you mutter, scoffing as he only shakes his head playfully. “y/n. heeseung.” dr kim. speaks, your body tensing as you turn towards the front of the classroom, meeting your professor’s expectant eyes. “is this something important you would like to share with the class? or would you like to keep bothering everyone with your banter?” your cheeks immediately flush, your body running cold as all the heads in the classroom towards you two. you’ve never wanted the floor to swallow more than you did right now. you shake your head, your voice coming out quiet. “no sir, sorry about that.” heeseung says nothing, simply nodding his head. you were going to kill him. “alright, then. anyway, as i was saying…” dr. kim speaks, continuing on with the lesson like nothing happened as you sit there in humiliation.

“so…” he begins. “shut up.” you mumble back, your voice quiet as your eyes stay trained on your notebook, picking up your pen to continue writing down whatever nonsense your professor spills. you were pissed off now, all thoughts of entertaining the annoying boy sat next to you gone. you didn’t know if he had realized how embarrassed you actually were, but he didn’t push. you watched him shift in his seat so he was facing the front of the classroom out of your peripheral vision, also beginning to jot down notes. the rest of class drags on unbearably slow. you try to keep your focus on the lecture, but your mind buzzes with embarrassment, replaying the way dr. kim had called you both out in front of everyone. when class finally ends, you don’t waste a second in shoving your notebook into your bag, slinging it over your shoulder, and making a beeline for the door. of course, you’re never quite quick enough. heeseung appears next to you, falling in step beside you once again. “you’re really gonna ignore me after that?” you scoff, refusing to look at him as you keep your gaze trained ahead. “that’s exactly what i’m gonna do.” you hear him laugh, one that shows he clearly finds you entertaining. “it wasn’t that bad.” you finally glance at him, an annoyed expression on your face. “we got called out in front of the entire class for arguing like little kids, heeseung.” “and?” he grins, nudging your arm. “it was kinda cute. no big deal.” you inhale sharply, turning away before he can catch the way your face heats up. “you are insufferable. not everyone is as popular as you, alright? i don’t appreciate that many eyes on me.” he hums, tilting his head, as if he’s acknowledging your words. “where are you headed, anyway?” “lunch,” you say automatically, before realizing your mistake. a smirk creeps into his lips, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. “perfect. i’m hungry, too.” “no.” you blurt out, your eyes snapping to his. he feigns innocence. “no?” “you are not coming with me, heeseung. i’ve dealt with you enough today.” you clarify, trying to make your expression as serious as you can, looking to your front again. “why not?” he grins, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of you. “we’re partners, aren’t we? we need to work on our… chemistry.” you groan, rubbing your temples. maybe if you ignore him, he’ll take the hint. he does not take the hint. he continues to walk next to you, ignoring the stares of other girls wondering why heeseung is walking around with you.

so now, much to your dismay, you find yourself exiting the building with heeseung beside you, practically- no, literally- inviting himself to lunch. and as much as you hate to admit it to yourself, your stomach is in knots at the thought of spending more time with him. the walk is awfully quiet. heeseung doesn’t say a lot- much to your dismay. you wouldn’t say it’s peaceful, it was far from it. while heeseung may have been relaxed, just enjoying the walk, you on the other hand were losing it inside. caught between being annoyed at him or acknowledging whatever feeling was in your chest every time he was near. it wasn’t like you couldn’t pretend what the feeling was. you knew what a crush felt like. but you didn’t want to pay it any mind. how could you have a crush on lee heeseung? how could you fall for someone this quickly? you had to have set a new record for yourself. you decided it was just the fact that you were yearning for any kind of romantic attention, and heeseung was providing that… kinda. calling you ‘princess’ wasn’t exactly flirting. but you had never had this before, were you just expected to not be flustered? this feeling was treacherous, and you knew it. falling for the playboy was the last thing you wanted to do. you fidgeted with your hands, worries swirling around inside your head as you try to come up with an excuse that doesn’t make you seem like a touch-deprived college student. lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice the incoming cyclist until it’s too late. before you can process what’s happening, a firm grip wraps around your wrist, yanking you backward just in time. your breath stutters, a small squeak leaving you as you crash into something- someone. the scent of his cologne is suddenly overwhelming, your hands instinctively grabbing onto his hoodie to ground yourself. his arm is still around you, his body warm against yours, his grip on your wrist loosening, but not completely letting go. your heart pounds in your chest, and you don’t know if it’s from almost getting run over or him. you can feel his breath fanning lightly against your temple, his chest moving as he breathes in. was he always this built? you knew heeseung was strong, but you had never touched him. “careful, princess,” he murmurs, voice lower than usual. “you trying to get yourself killed?” you blink up at him, your lips parting, but no words come out. not when he’s this close, not when his arm is splayed across your back, his hand still holding onto your wrist lightly. and that’s when it hits you. this is a crush. you like lee heeseung. you pull away quickly, trying to ignore the warmth lingering on your skin as you clear your throat. “i- i wasn’t paying attention.” you stutter out, refusing to meet his gaze. heeseung lets out a soft chuckle, shoving his hands into his pockets as he watches you, nodding lightly. “yeah, i noticed.” you scowl, turning on your heel and stomping toward the café, hoping he doesn’t see the way your ears burn. he keeps up with you, and you can hear the smirk in his voice even when you don’t look at him. “so i don’t get a thank you?” you roll your eyes, trying to fight the blush climbing up your cheeks as you turn your head to the side, never realizing how interesting the road was. “thank you,” you mutter, your voice too quiet he almost didn’t hear. but he hums, and that’s enough for you to know he won’t push further… hopefully.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

it’s been a week. a week of trying to push away the way your heart speeds up whenever heeseung so much as looks at you. a week of acting like the casual touches and the teasing remarks don’t make your stomach flip. a week of trying to convince yourself you don’t like heeseung. a week of failing. now at lunch, you’re sat with wonyoung and yunjin, the conversation flowing easily between them- an annoying professor, a party next weekend, overdue homework- but the words barely process. your eyes are trained on heeseung across the cafeteria. the same place he always sits, with his team and friends, but now you can’t stop looking. he’s leaned back in his chair, laughing at something one of his friends said. he looks beautiful. you can admire his sharp jawline, or the way his adam’s apple moves when he throws his head back, laughing at a joke. and for some stupid, down bad reason, you can’t tear your eyes away. you’re not even aware you’ve been staring until yunjin’s voice snaps you out of it. “you can’t be serious.” your head snaps towards her, blinking in confusion. “what happened?” she doesn’t say anything. instead she pursues her lips, tilting her chin slightly in heeseung direction with a quirk of her brow. “heeseung.” your stomach drops, your mouth opening and closing as she waits for an answer. “it’s not like that,” you blurt, suddenly finding your untouched lunch very interesting. yunjin doesn’t buy it. she crosses her arms, watching you closely. “then why are you staring at him like that? is this why you’ve been so out of it lately?” silence. the air feels too thick, your face burning hotter by the second. you have no good excuse. no answer to her question, because that means you would have to admit it out loud. and you weren’t ready to do that. you hated how obvious you were being, how you were acting like every other girl he’s wrapped around his finger before now. finally, wonyoung- who has been watching this exchange like it’s the most entertaining thing she’s seen all day- chimes in, "i wouldn’t blame you.” you turn to her, your eyebrows raising. “what?” she shrugs, stealing one of your fries before tossing it in her mouth. "i’m just saying, he’s hot. everyone knows that. you’ve been spending a lot of time with him because of your project. i mean… would it be the worst thing if something happened?” your eyes widen more- if that’s even possible. but before you can get any words out, yunjin is speaking. she looks at her like she’s lost her mind, shaking her head quickly. "are you insane? don’t encourage this.” "i’m just saying!" wonyoung laughs, holding her hands up in mock surrender. “you never know.” yunjin scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically. “no, we do know. heeseung is heeseung. an asshole.” she turns back to you, her expression softening slightly. "you just need to be careful.” it’s the same thing she always says. it’s everything that you’ve been telling yourself. you just nod, too embarrassed that they found out to even speak.

silence lingers between the three of you. you look on the food in front of you, the other students walking by, the ground. but you can feel their eyes on you, like they’re waiting for you to acknowledge their words- to say anything. wonyoung breaks the silence, picking at her nails, “i mean, it’s not like you have much experience- let me rephrase- you have no experience with this stuff.” your head snaps towards her, your jaw dropped. “what the fuck?” she smiles at you, shrugging. “i’m just pointing out the facts’ y/n. you get flustered by everything. you’re gonna fall too fast, especially with someone like him. that’s the reality for a romance virgin.” as if this moment wasn’t already embarrassing enough. your face burns, glaring at her. “a romance virgin? what the fuck does that even mean?” you go quiet, realizing you don’t have a comeback to her words, because as much as you hate it, she’s telling the truth. so you resort to sighing, grabbing a fry and plopping it in your mouth. “you guys are so annoying.” yunjin laughs, also stealing a fry from your plate. “we’re being realistic. and looking out for you.” “i don’t even like him,” you mumble, your mouth filled with a bite of food, wonyoung wincing at the sight. you only flip her off in response. she laughs, raising her eyebrows, “right. that’s why you were making heart eyes at him across the cafeteria. i’m surprised you didn’t raise up and start floating towards him.” you gape at her, scoffing as you shove her shoulder. “fuck off! i was not!” she doesn’t respond, but her and yunjin share a knowing look, smiles on their faces as they look back at you. you groan, pressing your hands against your face, “you guys suck. why are you torturing me?” yunjin speaks, her smile already telling you she’s about to make things worse, “just saying, do you really want heeseung to be your first everything?” you reach your hand over the table to smack her arm, practically glaring daggers at her as all she does is laugh. “yunjin! shut up!” she just shrugs, fighting back more laughs as you sulk in your chair, arms crossed against your chest. "what? i’m looking out for you. i mean, at least he’ll be good, he knows what he’s doing.” you decide to ignore her words, your cheeks burning as you look off to the side, sighing at how wonyoung laughs at her words. “i hate you,” you mumble, shaking your head. they only laugh more, wonyoung leaning over to give you a hug. you reciprocate, begrudgingly. you just want the floor to swallow you right now.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

you were late. to be fair, you weren’t that worried. heeseung was never on time to your study sessions. and, if anything, you were only going to be 5 minutes late. pushing open the door of the library, you’re greeted with the smell of books, the quiet sounds of footsteps, and fingers tapping keys quietly. time seems to slow in here, somehow. you like it. it’s so peaceful, everyone minding their own business. you stroll quietly, making your way to the study rooms on the side of the library. you had reserved one of the rooms, sending heeseung a text earlier in the day of which one to meet you at. you walk up to the door, the frosted glass frame with a big blue “5” staring back at you, before pushing it open. you’ll be able to set everything up, maybe get ahead a bit before you have to deal with him, go over things- but he’s already there. your brain short circuits, like all the thoughts you had disappeared. sitting in one of the chairs, leaned back with one leg stretched out and the other one bent. his hair is damp, which you assume is from practice, hanging in his eyes. a white wifebeater clings to his skin, leaving little to the imagination. his shoulders, his biceps, his chest, his torso. you swear you’re going insane. your eyes flicker to the way his forearm flexes when he scrolls on his phone, your fingers tightening around the strap on your bag. it’s only then that you realize you’ve been staring. his eyes flicker up from his phone as his gaze locks on yours, the corner of his lip rising. “like what you see?” you swallow, shaking your head as you step further into the room, letting the door shut behind you. “i’m just surprised you’re actually here on time.” he only nods, completely seeing through your little act. he leans back more, raising his arms above his head. he groans, and you can’t tear your eyes away from the way his muscles flex, or the way his shirt lifts- just slightly, but enough for you to see a sliver of his skin, his abs highlighted by the fluorescent lights shining down on you two. you feel insane. your body heats up, taking a deep breath as you (reluctantly) tear your eyes away from him. you busy yourself with pulling everything you need out, trying to ignore heeseung’s gaze on you. the space suddenly feels too small, and you regret reserving a room. you can’t look at anyone else, can’t find a distraction outside of this room. you’re stuck. heeseung pulls out his own laptop, opening it and speaking, like it’s the most casual thing. “you were staring.” your breath hitches, but you play it off, glaring at him. “i told you, i was surprised you were here on time.” his brows lift in amusement. “that’s all?” you nod, eyes turning back to your screen as you pull up the project. “that’s all.” “alright,” he hums, but the smile doesn’t drop from his face. your face burns, trying to push all thoughts of how good he looked away as you try desperately to lock in, typing out anything that seems of significance. this was going to be a long study session.

that it was. you were nearing the hour and a half mark, your brain starting to jumble all the words you read, taking in too much information at once. if you had to read one more article about the impact of diseases and medicine on our society you were sure you were going to start slamming your head against the table. for once, heeseung wasn’t being a pain. no remarks or teasing. he was silent, actually doing his work. you were grateful for the change, considering how earlier had gone. luckily the tensions had died down, and you two hadn’t talked since you walked in. then, without warning, he leans in. your body tenses, his arm reaching past you to grab a pen that had rolled over to your side. the scent of his cologne filled your nose, along with his breath lightly fanning against your cheek. you swallowed, trying to keep your eyes trained on your laptop like nothing was wrong. but he notices. of course he does. his fingers hover over the pen, but he doesn’t grab it. his gaze flickers to you, the corner of his lip lifting up. “you good?” his voice is lower, the teasing lilt evident in his voice already. you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat as you continue typing, trying to ignore how fast your heart is beating, “yeah, i’m fine.” he tilts his head, just watching you. then he moves a bit closer, your breath hitching. “are you sure?” he asks again, smiling slightly. you nod again, too scared to even look his way as you feel your cheeks burning up. “you’re too close. that’s all.” he grins, unable to hide how amusing this is to him, “too close?” you nod, confirming his words with a quiet, “yeah.” he doesn’t back away, instead slowly dragging the pen towards himself as he continues. “what, never had a guy this close before?” you open your mouth to respond- but no words come out. it’s like you glitched, the words refusing to leave your lips as you try to come up with an excuse, an insult, anything to get the attention off of you right now. fuck. he picks up on it immediately. his grin falters slightly, his eyes flickering over your face to gauge your reaction. “you haven’t?” you feel stupid. your chest tightens, embarrassment flooding you. you turn your head quickly- too quickly. not realizing how close the two of you were, your nose brushes against his as you stutter out words. “that’s not- no- i mean-“ “oh my god.” he mumbles, leaning back in his chair. “heeseung.” you speak, your eyes pleading with him. he blinks, the smirk gone off his face and replaced with curiosity. “you’ve never been kissed before? actually?”

“heeseung-” you mumble, no other word leaving your lips as your ears heat up, your stomach twisting as he stares at you. his grin returns, just slightly, a small laugh leaving him as he shakes his head. “that’s.. wow.” he doesn’t sound judgmental, more so surprised, but the damage was already done. “just drop it,” you mutter, suddenly feeling the need to get out of the room, closing your laptop and beginning to pack up. “that’s interesting,” he continues, slowly shutting his laptop as he continues to watch you, “you’re leaving?” you nod, trying to ignore the mortification you feel as you shove things into your backpack carelessly. “it’s already been an hour and a half.” you go to shove a pencil inside, but with how shaky your hands are, it slips through your fingers, landing on the table. “fuck,” you whisper, so quiet he almost doesn’t hear. he reaches for the pen, his fingers moving faster than yours as he twirls it in between his fingers, watching you. “you good?” you nod, holding out your hand for the pen, refusing to meet his eyes, “i’m fine. just- can i have it?” he hesitates, before slowly placing it in your palm. he doesn’t say anything, instead simply watching as you move your hand quickly, shoving the pen into your backpack, before quickly zipping it up and slinging it over your shoulder. you can feel his gaze on you, turning on your heel and making a beeline for the door. “i’ll see you in class,” you mutter, the door shutting behind you as you walk out as quickly as your legs will take you, trying to hold back the flood of emotions and embarrassment swirling inside you.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

it felt like everything hit you the second you stepped through the door. the silence only heightened the sound of your pounding heartbeat in your ears. you kick off your shoes, your hands shaky as you let your backpack fall to the floor. your mind can’t stop replaying every interaction with heeseung earlier that day. but it felt like so much more than that. it was about the way you slipped up, your own body betraying you and the truth slipping out. it wasn’t like being inexperienced was a bad thing- you knew that. but you hated how everyone around you was able to talk about it so casually. while you fell behind and lived vicariously through romance novels and cheesy romcoms. for once, you wanted to know what it was like. and for all people that could’ve found out- heeseung had to know. the boy who had a new girl on his arm every week, who was no stranger to romance. it felt mocking. embarrassing. like the universe was making a joke of you, pointing at you and laughing. your breath catches in your throat, tears spilling down your cheeks before you can process it. you don’t stop them, you don’t react. you simply stand there, small sobs leaving you as the defeated feeling takes over. you’d tried to hard to not let this take over. to be okay with the fact that you hadn’t experienced love yet, it was no big deal. but it somehow hurt more knowing the one you liked was probably the most unattainable person on campus. you shuffle towards your bed, your feet barely leaving the ground until you reach the foot of your bed, letting yourself fall forward, straight into a pillow. your tears soak the fabric, your mind swirling with insecurities and thoughts of yearning. to know. to feel. to be loved. it feels so impossible at this point. like love- true love- will never find you. it felt like everything was boiling over, your body curling up as your tears grow more intense, louder sobs slipping from your lips as your hands grip the pillow. you didn’t even know how long you had been crying for. you cried until no more tears came out, the sobs transforming into quiet sniffles and labored breaths, until exhaustion took over your body and lulled your body into a peaceful sleep, safe from all the worries of the outside world.

but the peace didn’t last. the sound of the door opening stirs you awake, yunjin’s voice filling the apartment. your body feels too heavy, a dull pounding in your head and a lump in your throat still remain as you turn over slowly. you rub your eyes, trying your best to remove the evidence of your breakdown through your sleepy confusion. “-and he was so fucking hot, y/n. ugh, i wish i would’ve gone over to his place. and he told me he had a good time, and he wants to see me again!” she spills, kicking off her shoes and throwing her purse somewhere near the door, flailing her hands as she recounts all the details. she pauses as she turns to you, finally taking in the state you’re in. “were you asleep? sorry. i didn’t mean to wake you up,” she laughs quietly, lowering her voice. you simply shake your head, still coming back to reality as you push yourself up. you speak, your voice scratchy and slurred from lingering exhaustion, “it’s fine. i shouldn’t have fallen asleep that early, anyway.” she walks over, sitting at the edge of your bed and looking at you, a smile on her lips before she takes in your puffy eyes. “you doing alright?” you swallow, pushing down the emotions that threaten to resurface. you nod, forcing a smile. “i’m good. just tired… i’ve had a lot of work lately.” she watches you, her head tilting like she doesn’t believe you. finally, a smile breaks out on her face as she lets herself fall back against your bed, turning her head to face you. “he was so perfect. like, usually i don’t like pisces men, but beomgyu? he was just.. fuck, y/n, i’m losing my mind.” you smile slightly at her lovesick rant, her words filled with a giddy happiness that only love can bring to you. you nod along to her words, her eyes lighting up when she recounts the best details. “are you going out again?” you ask quietly, playing with the hem of your blanket when she stops talking, simply staring at your ceiling with a lovesick smile. that question breaks her out of the trance, turning to you with a grin. “fuck yeah! he asked me to go to his place next? you know what that means,” she trails off, wriggling her eyebrows before kicking her feet, covering her face with her hands as she squeals. you laugh, although deep down, you wish you could know what it feels like. the feeling of being desired, of being wanted. and as yunjin continues to ramble, expressive hands and wide eyes, you can’t push down the feeling that creeps up and surrounds you, making you feel like you’re locked inside a dark room that has no key, no door. like you’re falling behind while everyone races ahead.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

“no.” the word leaves your lips before yunjin can finish her sentence, already knowing where it was going when she started with, “so, i was thinking…” you don’t look up from your laptop, hoping that if you don’t acknowledge them, they’ll drop it. they never do. wonyoung groans, flopping backwards onto your bed before she rolls over on her stomach, resting her chin on her hands as she stares at you. “y/n, please. you literally never go out.” you finally spare her a glance, before looking back at your computer. “i’m busy.” yunjin crosses her arms, a huff of air leaving her. “you fucking liar. all you do is rot in bed. then you wonder why you get no action.” you glare at her, choosing to ignore her jab at your love- or lack thereof- life. “i enjoy the tranquility.” “god, you’re hopeless.” she sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed beside wonyoung’s sprawled out figure. “you need to have some fun for once.” “i do have fun,” you reply, finally shutting your laptop, “a party is not my idea of fun. it’s sweaty bodies, and drunk people, and people making out against walls.” “you’re so dramatic,” wonyoung laughs, her hands tugging lightly at your calves. “it’s one night. maybe something will happen.” you shake your head, ignoring the puppy dog eyes she sends you. “no, nothing will. i’ll go and hate it, want to kill myself, and wish i could be back in bed watching reruns of gossip girl.” yunjin groans, tossing her head back at your resilience. “i’m gonna kill you. you’re coming to this party. you need some action. that’s probably why you’ve been so… whatever you’ve been, lately.” you freeze, shaking your head lightly. “i don’t need action.” wonyoung giggles, turning her head to smile at yunjin. “you know, y/n, she has a point. don’t you think it’s time to put yourself out there?” you roll your eyes, biting the inside of your cheek. “shut up.” but your stomach twists uncomfortably. they don’t mean it in a harmful way- to them it’s just teasing. they don’t know how much you hate having nothing, the fear of putting yourself out there. and after your breakdown a few nights ago, the topic felt heavier. more anxiety fills you as another thought creeps in. impossible to shake, growing larger the more you try to ignore it. if it’s a party, heeseung will be there. he always is. the thought of running into him after your last interaction makes your chest feel tight, your eyes flickering around the room. “i just don’t wanna go,” you mumble, trying your luck again. of course, they don’t listen. yunjin sends you a look, standing up and grabbing your arms, tugging you forward. you gasp, catching your balance before you tumble off your bed. “didn’t i already tell you you’re coming to this party? get up, loser.” you huff, reluctantly listening to her just this once. you toss your feet over the side of the bed, letting yunjin pull you to your feet. “you’re so lucky i love you guys,” you mutter, glaring at both of them. wonyoung squeals, practically flying off of your bed as she wraps you in a hug, jumping up and down. “finally! i’ve been waiting for this day forever!”

you only shake your head, trying to bite back a smile at her excitement. yunjin, on the other hand, has already made her way to your dresser, pulling random clothes out and tossing them over her shoulder. “okay,” she speaks, tossing a pair of shorts that are too short beside her, “we wanna make you look hot. but also not like you’re trying too hard, a good balance. heeseung’s gonna be there, right?” wonyoung laughs, making her way over to yunjin to look at the clothes she’s already picked out, holding them up to your body before nodding or shaking her head. your stomach, however, twists at the mention of his name. “i’m not trying to impress anyone,” you blurt, shaking your head as yunjin pulls out a tiny red dress, “i’m only going because you guys are forcing me.” she gives you a look, raising her eyebrows. “you realize we can see right through you, right? you act like we’re not your best friends. you want the guy, admit it.” you go silent, opting to roll your eyes at her words instead. she only laughs, tossing the red dress at you. “try that on.” “i’m not wearing this,” you mutter, holding it out in front of you.wonyoung whines, shaking your shoulders. “it’s a house party, girl. other people are going to be wearing so much worse. just try it.” you groan, reluctantly trying the dress on. it’s too tight, too short, showing off your body in ways you’re not used to. you look up, gauging the two girls’ reactions. yunjin tilts her head, analyzing you, before finally shaking her head. “no, i don’t think that’s very you,” she says, turning back to your closet. “you wanna look slutty, but like, fashion.” you furrow your eyebrows, almost wanting to laugh at how seriously they were taking this. “great explanation.”

wonyoung gasps, stopping both of you in your tracks. “yunjin, give me that shirt,” she exclaims, pointing to a black lace tube top yunjin is holding up. the lace wraps around itself, one edge falling to create an asymmetrical look. once yunjin hands it over, she grabs a black denim skirt off the floor, holding the items to your body as best she can. “yes. this is it,” she smiles, yunjin nodding beside her. “put this on. you’re gonna look so hot.” you can’t deny wonyoung’s words once you have the outfit on. it looks good, the pieces accentuating your body while not showing off too much. yunjin’s jaw drops slightly, nodding as you spin slowly. “i’m so in love with you.” you smile, shaking your head at her. wonyoung grabs a pair of black heeled-boots, the leather tight around your calves, with a platform that makes you at least 5 inches taller. yunjin nods, looking at wonyoung, “add a leather jacket.” once the whole outfit is assembled, you can’t deny it. you feel hot. you look hot. “you look amazing, y/n. heeseung’s one lucky guy.” wonyoung smiles, stepping up to you to adjust the top. you glare at her, an exasperated breath leaving you. “stop bringing him up. nothing has happened between us.” “yet,” yunjin says, a teasing smile on her lips. “oh, fuck off,” you laugh, flipping her off. you couldn’t help the feeling that settled in your stomach. was it anxiety? excitement? you couldn’t tell, but you knew this was going to be a long night. and maybe, deep down, a part of you wanted heeseung to see you in this outfit.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

you regretted coming the second you stepped through the door. music was blasting through the speakers, the volume combined with all the conversations happening almost unbearable. the smell of weed and alcohol invaded your senses almost immediately. people were everywhere you looked, crowded together. drinking, smoking, dancing, talking, making out. your feet slowed down, suddenly wanting to turn around and go back home. yunjin tugged your arm, forcing your feet to move again as she dragged you along, weaving through the mass of bodies, trying to avoid bumping into anyone. wonyoung was right. people were wearing much worse. you still felt out of place though. like people knew you didn’t normally dress like this. like people knew you were trying to look good just for this party. once the three of you stopped moving, wonyoung looked at you, immediately sensing your discomfort. “you’re fine. no one’s judging you, okay? everyone’s too caught up in their own thing here.” you only nodded in response, glancing around at everyone. “there’s… a lot of people here.” wonyoung laughs, finding your reactions cute. “yeah, that’s usually what it’s like at house parties.” the idea of willingly putting yourself in this environment weekly sent a chill down your spine. things like this weren’t your speed. though, sometimes, you wonder what it would be like to be an extrovert, to enjoy talking to others, spending your days socializing. wonyoung explains something to you, but you’re only halfway listening. your eyes are drifting around the party. looking for something, or someone. hoping to see his black hair in the crowd of people. a bit hard, when half the people here had black hair. “oh- there he is!” yunjin gasps, her words pulling you out of your trance as you look at her, raising your eyebrows. you follow her line of vision, nerves bubbling in you at the thought of actually seeing him- “beomgyu!” she smiles, turning to you and wonyoung with a cheesy grin. “i’m gonna go say hi. i’ll catch you guys in a bit?” “go get your man,” you smile, watching as she heads off, a pep in her step as gets closer to him. you turn back to wonyoung, unsure of what to do now that you were here.

“so, like, what do we do?” you ask, once again glancing around at the people around you. “talk to people. get a drink. find someone hot.” she nudges you at the last option, sending a teasing smile your way. “no.” your reply is immediate, shaking your head. “i’m not having any of my firsts at a random house party.” she sighs, throwing her head back before looking back at you. “you read too many romance novels.” you gape at her, your lips forming into a pout. “a girl can dream. let me wait for the one.” “well, looking like you do tonight,” she pauses, her eyes flickering up and down your figure, “i’m gonna be surprised if no one hits on you.” her sentence sends a hint of excitement through you, but you quickly shake your head, dismissing the feeling. “i’d rather someone not. that would just be awkward. i can’t talk to people.” she laughs, but she’s shaking her head. “this is exactly why you need to go out more. put yourself out there.” you don’t respond, your eyes flickering around the crowd of people once again, watching people's body language, and how they interact with one another. everyone looks so relaxed, simply enjoying the environment. “anyway,” wonyoung speaks, breaking the silence that settled between you two, “i’m gonna go get a drink. do you wanna come?” you shake your head, not feeling like navigating through the crowd of people once again, choosing to wait for wonyoung to get back. “no. it’s fine. i’ll wait.” “alright, do you want anything?” she continues, watching as you shake your head again, denying her offer. “i’ll be right back, then.” you watch as she walks off, weaving through the crowd and heading towards the kitchen. you lean back against the wall, fidgeting with your fingers as you wait calmly for wonyoung to return. she doesn’t. two minutes turn to five, which turns to ten, which turns to fifteen. people were starting to send you looks, wondering why you were standing around alone, with no drink. you felt out of place. no, you were out of place. you glance around, the nerves of everything becoming too overstimulating. you needed to get away from the crowds. slowly, you push through the crowd, making your way to the hallway. you slip past the people having conversations, and the couple making out against the wall. one door is cracked open, which you can only assume means it’s safe to enter. you wait outside for a bit, listening for if there’s any noises. it’s silent. you hesitate for a second, before finally pushing the door open. the room was empty, the quiet away from the loud voices instantly calming your nerves. you shut the door behind you, the noise of the party becoming even more muffled, feeling like a breath of fresh air.

you glanced around the room, your heart nearly stopping. heeseung was leaned against the wall, scrolling on his phone. could this night get any worse? he hadn’t noticed you yet, too busy scrolling on his phone. you gulped, feeling your face flush. you could turn around, you could leave the room. you should do that. but for some reason, your feet wouldn’t move. it was like they were planted into the ground. he lifted his gaze from his phone, locking eyes with you. you felt like a deer caught in headlights. his expression was unreadable, but he tilted his head slightly. a brief moment of silence passed between the two of you, your heart thudding loudly in your chest as he watched you. “y/n?” he asked, his voice sounding a bit surprised. “sorry,” you finally forced out, fidgeting with your fingers as your gaze drifts away from his, focusing on the wall instead. “i thought this room was empty.” he simply shrugged, a small smile on his lips. “too loud out there?” you nod, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to the other. this somehow felt more suffocating than the party did. “i didn’t mean to… bother you.” you mumble, turning around to head for the door. “you don’t have to leave,” he said, his voice quiet, your stomach fluttering at the sound, “i’m not doing anything. stay if you need a break. if you want.” you stand still, both choices seeming wrong. staying in the room with him felt like a mistake, but walking back out to the chaos of the party felt slightly worse. slowly, you nodded, turning around and stepping further into the room. “okay. uh, thanks.” you both stood there, not saying anything for a moment. you shifted your gaze around the room, your nerves palpable. and heeseung, of course, picked up on it. “this isn’t exactly your scene, is it, princess?” he asked, voice filled with that familiar teasing tone. you tried to ignore how the nickname had your heart doing somersaults, or how your face heated up. everything felt so much more elevated in the room. you swallowed, trying to push your nerves aside as you looked back at him. “uh, no, it’s not,” you mumble, almost wanting to laugh at how awkward you sounded. he hums, pushing himself off the wall and walking towards the bed, sitting on the edge. he looks at you expectantly, only laughing slightly when you raise your brows in response. “are you just gonna stand there the whole time?” your face flushes, suddenly feeling too embarrassed. your body moves before you realize it, getting closer to him. you can feel your heartbeat speeding up, his eyes watching you as you sit down next to him. you’re not an awkward distance away, but you made sure to put some space between the two of you. the room was quiet, except for the noise of your nervous breaths, your fingers fidgeting with each other.

“so,” he began, breaking the silence, “what’re you doing here, anyway?” you look at him, shrugging. “my friends dragged me along.” he hummed, tilting his head, “so then why are you in here?” this was humiliating. “one is talking to her date and another went to get drinks and didn’t come back,” you mumbled, trying to ignore the smile that crept up on his face. “damn, princess,” he huffed out a laugh, shaking his head lightly, “they ditched you?” “i mean, they’re more used to this environment. i wouldn’t wanna, like, hold them back from having fun,” you shrug, glancing down at your hands. “if you say so,” he responds, going quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. “i just still don’t see why you would even come, considering, y’know..” your stomach drops. your eyes flicker up to his, raising your eyebrows slightly. “considering… what?” he tilts his head, a slight smirk playing on his lips. “you’ve never kissed anyone. you weren’t lying about that, right?” heat rises on your cheeks, the embarrassment that hits you suddenly making you feel sick, once again stuck in a room with heeseung and talking about this. “heeseung. i don’t wanna talk about that.” “why? it’s nothing to be ashamed about,” he replies with a shrug, leaning back against the pillows and playing with the hem of his shirt. “you ever had a boyfriend?” “heeseung.” you say, but his expression tells you he’s not letting this go anytime soon. you sigh, your voice quiet, the word coming out as a hushed whisper, “no.” he was quiet, and the more the silence dragged on, the more you felt like you wanted the floor to swallow you. the same humiliating feeling from before was slowly making its way back, the room feeling like it was closing in on you. and then, heeseung spoke. “you ever wonder what it’s like? to kiss someone?” he asks, and you almost want to laugh. “that’s a stupid question,” you blurt before you can stop it, listening to the way he laughs quietly. “sorry. had to make sure,” he replies, and this, for some reason, doesn’t feel as bad as last time did. it doesn’t feel like he’s judging you. more so, just asking questions. “of course i do. it’s kinda hard not to when all everyone talks about is their love lives,” you reply, finally opening up a bit. you don’t know why you’re telling him this much. you could’ve diverted the conversation, made him talk about something else, but you were opening up. you were trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling in your chest. from being in a room alone with heeseung, to discussing your desolate love life with him. it felt unnatural- it was unnatural. you were never one to open up to people easily, but it felt like he did it without trying (well, besides when he wouldn’t like a topic go).

“i could teach you,” he speaks, and your head snaps up to his so fast you’re surprised your neck didn’t break in the process. it felt like time stopped. you couldn’t hear the music outside, or the muffled voices. all you could hear was your heartbeat in your ears and the way your breathing picked up. heeseung continued to stare at you, his eyebrows raised slightly as he waited for an answer. “w-what?” you stutter out, trying to convince yourself you heard his words wrong, that you made it up, some kind of excuse. “i said i could teach you. you heard me,” he repeats his words, the corner of his lip lifting up again. your breath hitched. the silence was too loud, the two of you just staring at each other as you tried your hardest to process his words. “you’re joking, right?” you finally ask, your voice quiet, unsure. but he didn’t laugh. he only watched you, his voice dropping just a bit lower. “it’s not hard. if you want, i could teach you.” you sat, frozen. blinking out of whatever daze you were in since he spoke, your eyes flickering the the ground. heeseung- the playboy heeseung, the heeseung you liked- offering to be your first kiss. it didn’t feel right. it felt like the universe was trying to play a sick joke on you. like this would turn out to be too good to be true. you heard him laugh softly, and your eyes drifted back up to him. he seemed to be enjoying how flustered you were, how your brain was quite literally short circuiting. “we don’t have to if you don’t want to. it’s just an offer. but, if you want to, i’m right here.” you felt your heart speed up more at his words. your mind felt like it couldn’t process what was going on. what was the right choice here? one side of you felt like you should laugh it off, change the subject and act like the conversation never happened. continue to save your first kiss for something special. but on the other hand, this did feel special. you were curious. hell, you’ve been curious for the last 22 years. you were caught between forcing down your desires and enlightening them, finally understanding what you’ve been wondering about your whole life. finally being able to understand the conversations, the movie scenes, the books. your mouth opened, a protest about to leave your lips, but no words came out. your words got stuck, your true feelings not letting them leave. heeseung noticed your hesitation, pushing himself to sit up. he watched you, his voice getting softer, quieter. “come here,” he mumbled, his words making your stomach do flips. god, you wanted to slam your head against the wall. your heartbeat sped up, but you moved closer to him anyway, sitting so close your knees were pressed together. you didn’t know what you were doing, but you knew you didn’t wanna turn around and leave. not at this point. heeseung watched you, not reaching out until you had stopped moving. his hand reached up slowly, cautiously, gently cupping your jaw. his thumb brushed over your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. his gaze flickered between your eyes and lips, the reality of what was happening sinking it. “you’re nervous,” he whispered, the words spoken like they were a secret just between the two of you. his breath fans across your face, further solidifying the reality of the distance between you two. you nodded, your breath shallow, unsure. you let your own eyes flicker to his lips before moving back to his eyes. you whispered, your voice shaky, “what if i’m bad?” he smiled, his thumb tracing your jaw as he shook his head. “don’t worry about that. just follow my lead.”

you nod, everything feeling like a haze. he leans in slowly, and before you can think too much about it, his lips are on yours. it felt like everything around you stopped. your eyes fluttered shut, your breath stuttering. his lips are soft, and you try to follow his movements as best you can. his touch is gentle, guiding you, taking a first experience from you. the outside world seems quiet, likes it’s just you and heeseung in this moment. he presses his lips a bit harder against yours, tilting your head just slightly. the feeling is all-consuming. overwhelming. you want more and want to get away all at the same time. but it feels nice. it feels like everything you’ve dreamed of. what the lead in a romance movie feels, what the books describe, how your friend’s eyes light up when they tell you about their first kiss with a new guy. he pulls away slowly, his hand still remaining on your jaw. your eyes flutter open, blinking a little, like you’re trying to ground yourself. his face was still so close to yours, your breaths mixing together. his expression was unreadable, and your heart sped up at the reality. “was that okay?” you ask, your voice quiet, barely above a whisper. heeseung stared at you for a moment, not saying anything. his eyes searched yours, his breath soft against your skin, his touch still so light. “yeah,” he mumbled, his eyes still flickering around your face, his thumb tracing your jaw again. “not bad, princess.” you nod, your mind in too much of a haze to mumble out exact words. you eyes flickered to his lips again, fighting the urge to lean in again, to feel the warmth of his lips against yours. but before you could think about it too much, your phone buzzed loudly against your lap, the ringing snapping you back to reality. you blink, still dazed, as you look down on at your phone, shaky hands turning it over, the name staring back at you. wonyoung. shit. you hesitated for a second, before answering the call, pressing the phone to your ear. “hello?” “where are you?” wonyoung’s voice came through, a bit hard to hear over the pounding music. “i came back to the spot you were at. i got caught up with some friends, i’m sorry.” you swallowed, your mind still in a haze. your gaze flickered to heeseung. he was already watching you, having had leaned back against the headboard. “it’s fine,” you mumble, words trailing off. your heartbeat still felt too loud, and your thoughts were jumbled and all over the place. “it’s- i’m just..” heeseung raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. he tilted his head, clearly amused by your inability to form a sentence right now. “hello?” wonyoung’s voice spoke again, pulling your attention back to her. “are you there?” “yeah! yeah, sorry,” you mumble, pursing your lips. “i’ll be right there.” “okay. i’ll see you soon.” she replied, the line going dead.

the room went silent, filled with nothing but the awkwardness swirling around the two of you. you were too afraid to meet his gaze, so you stare at your hands, before standing up slowly, placing your phone in your pocket. “um… i should go. i’ll see you around?” heeseung didn’t say anything, and you took that as your cue to just leave. you walked towards the door, trying to form a coherent thought as you reached for the doorknob. his voice finally cut through the quiet, making you stop in your tracks. “you know,” he began, his voice teasing, with a hint of something else you couldn’t quite pinpoint, “you look nice tonight.” the words sent butterflies swirling in your stomach, closing your eyes as you tried to ground yourself. what was wrong with you? you didn’t turn around, too scared to meet his eyes. you couldn’t. so you only nodded, your voice shaky, “thank you.” you opened the door, stepping out and back into the party. it felt like you were snapped back to reality the second the loud music hit your ears, met with the sight of a swarm of people again as you pushed through the crowd. you tried to ignore the way your lips still tingled, or the way your cheeks heated up when you thought about his hand on your face, his breath so close to you, his lips against yours. you almost bumped into someone, muttering out a pathetic “sorry” as you corrected your path, finally catching a glimpse of yunjin and wonyoung standing together, talking about some random topic. wonyoung noticed you first, smiling and waving as she noticed you walking over. you wave back, forcing a smile as you join up with them. all you know is that you’re going crazy. you kissed heeseung. your first kiss. was it a mistake? did you make too irrational of a decision while being caught in the moment? your thoughts are interrupted by yunjin’s loud voice, pulling you back to the current moment, “you missed everything, y/n. i had so much to talk about. where were you, anyway?” you open your mouth, your eyes flickering between the two girls watching you with expectant stares. you should lie, make some kind of excuse to avert the attention from you, ask what yunjin had to talk about. but the thought of hiding your feelings from them more than you already are makes a sick feeling appear in your stomach. “i kissed heeseung.” the words are out before you even realize you said that. they stand there, unmoving before yunjin speaks, “you what?”

wonyoung only covers her mouth with her hand, a loud gasp leaving her lips as she looks between you and yunjin. you stare sheepishly at the two, no more words leaving your lips as you open and close your mouth, wonyoung finally forcing some words out. “bitch, are you serious?” the reality of everything feels like it’s hitting you all over again, a shaky breath leaving your lips as you look up, trying to form a sentence in your mind before you speak out loud. “i kissed heeseung. or, he kissed me. we kissed each other? i don’t know…” you cover your eyes with one of your hands, clenching your eyes shut. everything feels too surreal right now. yunjin blinks, shaking her head as she tries to make sense of the situation. “hold on, start from the beginning, please. what the fuck happened?” you laugh shakily, shrugging as words come spilling out, “i just- i needed a break from the party, so i went into what i thought was an empty room, but he was in there. he told me i could stay, and we started talking, and he brought up the fact that i’d never kissed anyone-“ wonyoung cuts you off, raising an eyebrow. “how did he know that?” you gulp, averting your eyes. “that’s a story for another time.” the two share a look, but don’t interrupt you again, letting you continue. “anyway, he said he could teach me… and, yeah,” you mumble, words getting quieter as you finish the story, finally looking back at the two. yunjin’s jaw is dropped, and she turns to wonyoung with a glare. “you left her alone for ten minutes and she kissed heeseung?” “i wanted a drink!” wonyoung defends herself, pointing at you, “i didn’t know she was gonna sneak off and make out with someone while i was gone.” your cheeks heat up, shaking your head quickly. “it wasn’t like that. it was just one kiss.” yunjin only laughs, giving you a hug. “well, congratulations. my baby is all grown up.” “oh, fuck off,” you mutter, but your arms wrap around her, fighting back a smile. “was it good?” wonyoung asks, your eyes widening. “like… is he really that good of a kisser like everyone says?”

your breath hitches at the question. your mind flickers back to how his lips felt on yours, how softly he held you, his breath soft against your lips, how his voice dropped, quiet and gentle. the way everything made you felt. your heart speeds up again at the thought, and you swallow, hesitating slightly before answering, trying to disguise the true thoughts you have. “i don’t know, wonyoung. it was my first kiss. how am i supposed to know what good means?” you reply, huffing out a laugh. she groans, unsatisfied with your answer, but she doesn’t push further. yunjin pulls back from the hug, but her hands remain on your shoulders. “you kissed lee heeseung. the lee heeseung. and he offered to teach you. girl, you’re in so deep.” you shake your head, feeling your cheeks heat up even more, if that’s possible. wonyoung chimes in, tugging your arm. “okay. back to your dorm, right now. tell us everything. leave absolutely nothing out.” you only laugh, but let wonyoung drag you along, yunjin following closely behind. the comfort the two provide for you makes things feel not as stressful, trying your best to push the anxieties and self-doubt about the turn the night took away.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

your stomach was a mess of nerves as you stepped through the classroom door. it wasn’t that you didn’t expect to see heeseung- you knew he was going to be here. but you didn’t know if you were ready. you had spent the past two days replaying every moment, every detail of that night, too caught up in your own thoughts. you tried to convince yourself it wasn’t a big deal, that it was just a kiss, but your true feelings betrayed you. you spotted him in what had become his usual seat- which was previously yours- scrolling on his phone, leaned back in the chair. you swallowed, getting closer to the seat as you put on a front, acting as nonchalant and unaffected as you could.  you slid into the chair next to him, pulling out your notebook and letting your bag hit the floor with a soft thud. you busied yourself with opening to an empty page, dragging your pencil along the page to make random, pointless drawings. anything to try and ease your nerves at the moment. “hey, princess,” heeseung spoke, his voice carrying that signature teasing lilt. his tone was so casual, like nothing had happened. you tried to ignore the way your heartbeat sped up at the sounds of his voice, or the nickname that used to make you grind your teeth. “i didn’t see you after you left the room. i thought you disappeared.” you finally glanced at him, your eyes meeting his. “i’m still here. sadly.” his lip twitched, that signature smirk forming on his lips. “good to know.”

his tone was so casual, so normal. but yet, things felt different. maybe it was the way he was watching you- his gaze lingering for just a second too long before looking away. or how he wasn’t teasing you as much, you two having a normal conversation for once. you were reading too much into it. this was the last thing you wanted to do. you kissed him because he offered to teach you. there was no meaning, no feelings behind it- on his end. you cleared your throat, turning back to your notebook. “did you look over the project? i added some notes to the shared document. there’s an article that seems like it could be helpful.” he shook his head, leaning forward so his elbows were on the desk. “nah. i’ve been busy with practice.” you roll your eyes, but the usual irritation didn’t come. you continued to doodle on your notebook, trying to focus on the small flower you were creating. but you couldn’t ignore the way you could feel his gaze on you, making heat rise to your cheeks. “you’re staring,” you mumble, eyes still trained on the flower, adding small blades of grass at the bottom, adding another small flower next to it. “am i?” he asked, and you could see the way he tilted his head in your peripheral vision. “i didn’t notice.” you huffed out a breath, forcing yourself not to react. if you gave him an inch, he’d take a mile, pointing out every little flustered reaction you have. it was the last thing you needed. dr. kim entered the room, greeting the class, indirectly saving you from having to reply. you tried to focus, jotting down whatever he mentioned, but your focus was somewhere else entirely. every time heeseung moved, shifting in his seat, tapping his pen against your notebook, your attention would be drawn to him. you couldn’t stop it. as much as you tried to focus, trying to ignore him, your mind wouldn’t let you. you felt like a middle schooler with a pathetic crush all over again. it was stupid. he was acting normal. you were (trying to) act normal. so why did nothing feel normal? slowly, your head turned just slightly, looking towards him. but he was already looking at you. he didn’t look away, your eyes meeting for a fleeting second. your breath caught in your throat, and you turned back to your notebook quickly, shifting in your seat. you were screwed. your heart lurched, your pulse quickening. a small part of your mind tells you that you’re not imagining things- that something has shifted. something is different. but you can’t place your finger on it. you feel like you’re making yourself go crazy, overanalyzing every little detail. every little glance, every sentence, hell, you payed attention to the tone of his voice. all you know is that you’re fucked. you’re officially down bad for lee heeseung.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

your day had been horrible. you wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep, forgetting that this shitshow of a day ever happened. you woke up late, the shrill sound of your alarm shocking you awake, the time on the clock practically mocking you as you realized you were going to be late to class. you rushed your morning, not even having enough time to get breakfast, leaving your stomach growling as you rushed to class. you looked like you had just rolled out of bed- which was the truth- as you walked into the classroom, sending an apologetic smile as your professor glared at you. the lecture was a blur, and to make matters worse, you absolutely failed your test. you knew you weren’t confident with the material, but to have a low c staring back at you made you feel too incompetent. your professor didn’t even hide her disappointment, shaking her head as she placed the paper on your desk, your ears turning red with embarrassment. now, your heavy feet were carrying you to your favorite café, your comfort away from the hectic world, the one place that brought you peace after a bad day. about halfway there, it had started sprinkling, small droplets landing on you as you walked. it truly felt like you had a rain cloud above only you, making fun of how bad your day had gone so far. you pushed open the door to the café, the comforting smell filling your senses, and you felt the tension in your body ease just slightly. you tried to ignore the looks of other patrons, wondering why you had no umbrella, your hair and clothes damp as you stepped inside. all that was on your mind was a hot chocolate, topped with whipped cream. you’d been dreaming about it since you walked into class earlier, making a promise to yourself you would pick one up after class to hopefully raise your dejected feelings. of course, the universe had other plans. the cup looked fine, the white paper concealing what was inside. but when you took a sip, the sharp taste hit your tastebuds, completely wrong. bitter coffee covered your tongue, making your face scrunch up. you blinked in confusion, slowly popping the lid off the cup. they had given you straight black coffee. you stared at the coffee, your pitiful stare reflecting off the dark liquid. you sighed, frustration bubbling up inside you. you weren’t going to make a scene, you were too exhausted for that. it wasn’t what you did. but you also knew if you didn’t have your hot chocolate you were going to go insane. was it pathetic that a drink could help make your day that much better? maybe.

you walked back up to the counter, politely pointing the mistake out to the barista, even pulling out your crumpled up receipt from your pocket to solidify your point. she didn’t seem to care, staring at you blankly before taking the cup with a sigh, muttering out a half-assed apology. you wanted to say something, your inner dialogue filled with very creative language as you watched her roll her eyes when she turned around. you felt like a burden, the comfort this place usually provided suddenly turning into a unpleasant experience. they finally handed you the right drink, about five minutes later. it should’ve made things better, but it didn’t. you thanked her with the biggest smile you could muster, apologizing for the inconvenience and turning around. you were starting to walk to your favorite seat, a table in the corner that gave you a perfect view of the scenery outside, a perfect place to put in your headphones and daydream. and that’s when it happened. too focused on the previous interaction, too distracted with everything that had gone wrong today. you ran into someone- hard. your shoulders slammed into each other, the force making you stumble backwards, your drink almost spilling. some splashed out the small opening, the hot liquid splashing against your hand, causing a small curse to leave your mouth as you winced. you steadied yourself, looking up at the stranger. an apology was on the tip of your tongue, ready to admit that you weren’t paying attention, but that’s when you saw his expression. cold. angry. he looked you up and down, like you were a piece of garbage. as if you were an inconvenience. like you had ruined his whole day, his eyes full of judgement. he didn’t bother to say anything, let alone hear whatever you had to say as he scoffed and continued on his way. it felt like a slap in the face. your mouth opened, almost ready to sputter out insults, but no words came out. suddenly, it felt like the weight of everything that had happened today was crashing down on you. your rushed morning, your failed test, your disappointed professor, the rain, the wrong order, the barista, this stranger- his glare, like you meant nothing. it all felt like too much. hot tears brimmed your eyes before you could get your emotions in check. you turned around, pushing open the café doors, taking deep breaths to calm yourself. the soft rain from earlier had begun to fall in fat, harsh drops, pouring down on everything. the weather felt like an accurate representation of your emotions in the moment, cold, sad, chaotic. you pressed a hand to your forehead, trying, and failing to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. a lump formed in your throat, and you leaned back against the wall of the café. you pulled your phone out from your pocket, trying to ignore how pathetic your reflection looked as you unlocked it, a tear slipping down your cheek as you opened your contacts, your fingers immediately finding yunjin’s name as you pressed the call button. it was like once one tear fell, the floodgates opened. you couldn’t control them anymore, tears spilling down your cheeks as you wiped at your eyes pathetically. the only noise being the quiet ringing of your phone, the rain falling, and your quiet sniffles.

it went to voicemail, yunjin’s happy voice breaking the sad silence. you tried again. still no answer. more tears fell, moving onto wonyoung next. it repeated the same process, ringing. and ringing. and ringing. and then- voicemail. you tried once again to be sure, clinging onto any ounce of hope. same result. you could feel your heart shattering more and more. you felt alone. your sniffles turned into quiet sobs, clutching your phone as you tried to catch your breath. everything felt too overwhelming, too out of your control, too messed up. you were stuck here. you couldn’t walk home, the rain was too strong. you couldn’t go back inside, not looking like this. everything was slowly unraveling. your closest friends weren’t even picking up, and you couldn’t get mad at them for it. they had lives too, not always able to drop everything for you. but the betrayal still stung, everything feeling like a personal attack at this point. you forced yourself to breathe, slowly unlocking your phone once again. you scrolled through your contacts, blurry, tear-filled vision making it harder. you just needed someone, anyone who you could call. anyone who could come get you. your eyes stopped on one person, your heart beating faster at the thought. you clicked on his contact, you finger hovering over the call button, before finally, you pressed it. it rang once. twice. three times. you were losing hope, more tears spilling down your cheeks as the reality of your situation set in. and then- “hello?” your breath catches. you hadn’t expected someone to actually pick up. everything felt so hopeless, the sound of someone’s voice sending a shock through you. you sniffle quietly, trying to get a word out, but it’s like they’re all caught in your throat. “hello?” heeseung repeats again, his voice more clear this time. “are you there?” you take a deep breath, forcing your tears and shaky breaths to calm down. you feel like if you speak a new wave of tears will just spill down your cheeks. “i-“ you start, before your voice breaks. you swallow, trying again. “i need a ride… it’s raining. no one else was picking up.” there’s a long pause, silence stretching between the two of you. you begin to feel stupid for calling, for being such an inconvenience to another person, more than you’ve already been today. you hear a small laugh on the other end, your eyebrows furrowing slightly at the sound. “can’t handle a little rain, princess?”

frustration builds inside of you, but you hold your feelings down. this, however, makes the dam in your eyes break again, more tears spilling down your cheeks. “heeseung, please,” you sniffle, sucking in a shaky breath as you try to get your emotions in check again. the teasing tone of his voice is gone almost immediately, replaced by confusion as he speaks again. “y/n? are you okay?” your breath catches at his change in tone. you didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, didn’t want to push your emotions onto someone else, all because you couldn’t handle a bad day. but everything was too much right now. “yeah,” your speak, you words quieter than you expected, a shaky tone to your voice. “just… tired.” he’s silent for a bit, before he speaks again, and you can hear shuffling on the other end, the jingling of car keys sending a small hope through you. “where are you?” “the café near campus. the one we went to that one time,” you force out, trying your hardest to sound normal. and not like there’s tears slipping down your cheeks. you think you must look insane. standing under the awning of a café in the pouring rain, tears streaming down your cheeks as you hold a hot chocolate and a phone. it must be a laughable sight. heeseung’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts, calm and serious, a vast difference from the usual teasing, smug tone he has. “i’ll be there soon. when i get there just walk to my car, alright? i’ll pull up next to the curb.” you nod, forgetting he can’t see you. when you finally speak, your voice is barely above a whisper, defeated, shaky. “okay.” the call ends, leaving you in silence again. a shaky sigh leaves your lips as your hand wipes your tears, trying your best to collect yourself. you take a sip of your hot chocolate, the warm liquid providing a small sense of comfort in whatever whirlwind your day has turned into. nerves fill you again, the thought that you could be a burden creeping into your mind. your hands shake as you rub at your eyes, trying to push the thoughts away. god, you don’t wanna be a total mess when heeseung gets here, but you can’t stop crying. you force yourself to focus on something different. business proposal, hot chocolate, your favorite salad, cats. anything that makes you happy. and slowly but surely, your tears turn into small sniffles. you watch cars drive by, but there’s not a lot. most classes are out by now and students don’t wanna be parading in this rain. the rain doesn’t let up- if anything, it’s gotten heavier, wind whipping around you at this point. after a few minutes, you finally see a car pulling up. the sight is so reassuring, but you can’t stop the way your pulse speeds up, or the nerves that run through you. your feet don’t move at first, still too caught in your emotions to move. you take a small step, slow, cautious, before the rain showers you, pelting, hard. you speed up quickly, ignoring the chill of the water as you cling to your hot chocolate, as if that will do anything to warm you up in this weather. it’s lukewarm by now, anyway. when you reach the car, heeseung’s eyes are on you, the window rolling down as you get closer. “get in,” he says, voice low, but not unkind, “you’re shaking.” you can only nod, pulling open the door and slipping inside. the warmth of the car immediately envelops you, feeling like a warm hug. you try your best to ignore the way your clothes, now wet, feel against your body. neither of you says anything, but you can feel his eyes on you. you finally turn, meeting his eyes. he looks… concerned.

he raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to speak. you don’t. so he finally does, his voice softer than it was before. “you wanna talk about it?” you shake your head, a new wave of emotions hitting you at his question. you blink back the hot tears brimming your eyes again, snapping your head towards the window as a shaky breath leaves you. “thank you,” you sniffle, your voice quiet. defeated. he hums, his voice reassuring, whether he means it or not. it feels like it’s grounding you in the chaotic mess of your emotions. “don’t worry about it.” without another word, he pulls away from the curb. heading towards the dorms. he doesn’t tease you, doesn’t ask any more questions. the only noise is the soft radio, the car’s engine, and the rain pattering outside. you bite your lip, trying to hold back a new wave of tears as you rest your head against the window. it doesn’t work. tears spill down your cheeks, your breathing irregular, labored, as you try to stay quiet, wiping at your eyes as inconspicuously as you can. heeseung notices, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. he doesn’t push, simply turning up the volume of the radio, masking the sounds of your tears behind the music. it’s such a small action, but it makes your stomach flip, taking a small sip of your hot chocolate to ground yourself. as you get closer to the dorms, your thoughts swirl, uncontrollable, chaotic. you close your eyes, taking deep breaths. you need to forget about today. pretend it never happened, pretend it was all just a nightmare that you’re going to wake up from tomorrow morning. but as you sit there, dried tears on your face as you look over at heeseung, your heart speeds up a bit. maybe you needed a distraction. maybe you just needed… something to take your mind off of the day. he turns to you, meeting your eyes, and you glance down at your hands quickly. god, you must look like shit right now. would it be weird if you asked for another kiss? would that actually take your mind off of how bad today was? thoughts swirl in your mind, half of yourself telling you to just go for it, be bold, ask for what you want. the other side battles it, scenarios of him giving you a dirty look, like the stranger did, filling your mind. you sigh, shaking your head. there’s too much going on in your mind right now for you to also be dealing with this. the car slows as heeseung pulls up outside your dorm. the low hum of the radio filling the tense silence between the two of you. you should leave. unbuckle your seatbelt, thank him for the ride, open the door, and go back to your dorm. but you don’t. you sit there. your fingers tighten around the cup in your lap, feeling the paper mold to your grip. you can feel his gaze flickering to you. waiting. you keep your eyes fixed on the window, watching the rain droplets race each other down the glass. your heartbeat sped up in your chest, the pounding in your ears drowning out the noise of anything else. you should just go. but you can’t move. you inhale shakily, focusing on every ounce of courage you have. “heeseung,” you begin, but the moment you turn your head, his attention on you, the words get caught in your throat. refusing to leave. he hums, waiting for you to continue. you swallow, nerves building. this is stupid. this is so stupid. what if he says no? what if laughs in your face? the weight of today is already pressing down on you, heavy, suffocating. if he rejects you, if he looks at you with even a fraction of the disdain the stranger at the café did, you might just end it. you should forget it. push your thoughts aside and leave the car. just curl up in bed and go to sleep. your thoughts aren’t correct right now. your mind is jumbled, your emotions are out of whack- but then he shifts slightly. placing his elbow on the center console as he faces you. his full, undivided attention on you. he’s waiting.

your breath stutters, heat climbing up your neck. “at the party,” you begin, your voice quiet, barely above a whisper. “when we-“ you stop, shutting your eyes for a second. it’s too late to back out now, you’re already speaking. “when we kissed.” he doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything, simply waiting for you to continue. your breath is shaky, your next words unsure. “did that mean anything to you?” you regret the words the moment they leave your lips. you sound desperate. pathetic. needy. you shake your head quickly, shutting your eyes. “forget it,” you mumble, as if you can take back the words you just said. “i’m a mess right-“ “i wouldn’t have done it if it didn’t,” heeseung speaks, cutting you off. his voice is quieter than usual. softer, but still firm. “that was your first kiss.” your pulse stutters, a breath catching in your throat. you finally turn to look at him, your stomach twisting at the intensity of his gaze. you should stop talking. end this before you do something you’ll regret. but you keep talking, your voice so quiet, you’re unsure if he hears it over the sound of the radio. “can you… can you do it again?” his eyes widen a bit, but the moment is brief. a flicker. and then that unreadable look is back. you want to take your words back immediately, erase this moment from existence entirely. “you don’t have to,” you add, words tumbling out before you can stop them. “it’s just- fuck. today has been horrible, and i can’t stop thinking about that kiss, and i thought that maybe-“ “are you sure?” heeseung asks, cutting your rambling off again. his voice is softer now, almost as quiet as yours. like these words are only meant to heard by the two of you, hidden from the rest of the world. you swallow, setting your cup in his cup holder. you don’t trust your voice right now- can't trust it- so you nod instead. for a second, he only watches you, his expression unreadable. it sends a chill through you, anxiety seeping in. then he slowly reaches up, tucking a strand of damp hair behind your ear. his touch is soft, barely there, but it’s everything you need right now. his gaze flickers over yours- searching for any signs of hesitation. like he’s waiting for you to pull away. but you don’t. you lean in slightly, a silent confirmation. and that’s all it takes. “okay,” he murmurs. and then his lips are on yours again. his lips brush against yours, soft, careful, like he’s still making sure this is what you want. he doesn’t press hard, his hand holding your jaw, his lips barely there. you shudder at his touch, at the feeling of him. and then you kiss him back. it's hesitant- unsure. you still don’t know how to do this, how to match someone’s rhythm, someone who knows what they’re doing. but heeseung doesn’t rush you. it’s not overwhelming. he just guides you, and you let him. he tilts his head slightly, molding his lips against yours, coaxing you to follow his lead. and you do. you follow the way his lips move, melting more into the kiss by the second. you can feel his other hand moving, his fingers ghosting over the side of your neck. you shiver at his touch, the warmth, the position of his touch sending a wave of heat rushing through you. his fingers rest on the back of your neck, just below your hairline. his touch is gentle, guiding you closer to him, and you let him, instinctively moving closer to him. the kiss deepens just slightly, his hand pulling you even closer. you should pull away. stop here. this should be enough. but you want more. a flicker of something unfamiliar and new buzzes in your chest, and you’re moving before you can think too much about it. your hands reach out, finding the front of his hoodie as your hands grip the fabric, pulling him even closer.

that changed everything. heeseung exhales sharply against your lips, and then he’s kissing you harder, deeper. your brain short circuits, the added intensity unfamiliar, but so welcomed. his grip on the back of your neck loosens, his fingers tangling in your hair. a small noise escapes you, desperate, wanting. it’s barely audible over the noise of the radio and the rain against the windshield. but he hears it. you know he does. you feel the way his fingers tighten in your hair, tilting your head as he deepens the kiss, a quiet hum vibrating in his throat. your head is spinning. it’s only your second kiss ever, you’re still fumbling to keep up, still clumsy in your movements. but the way he’s holding you, guiding you through it like he knows exactly what he’s doing- he does- you don’t have to think too much. you just follow his movements. your body melts into his touch, the nerves leading your body as you focus on his kisses and nothing else. your fingers loosen their grip on his hoodie, threading into his hair, your fingers tightening slightly. his breath hitches for a second, a noise leaving his lips. it sends a shiver down your spine. his lips slow, his kisses growing softer again, like he’s trying to ground himself. the thought makes your stomach flip, so many different feelings swirling inside you. new feelings. foreign feelings. but you love them. neither of you speak when you finally pull away, your foreheads resting against each other. you’re both breathless, lips parted and swollen as you catch your breath. your hands stay tangled in each other’s hair, like neither of you want to let go just yet. the air is thick with something unspoken, like a line was crossed tonight. you don’t care right now. you don’t want to think about that. part of your mind knows you should pull away, create some distance before this goes further than it already has. but you don’t want to. so you don’t. your fingers that are tangled in his hair tighten slightly, and before you can stop yourself, you’re leaning in again. pressing your lips against his, not soft, not gentle. you want more. heeseung exhales softly, and it’s like his resolve snaps. like everything he was holding back breaks at your movements. his hands drop to your waist, tugging slightly. you pull away from his lips, your breath heavy as your brows furrow. “what-“ you begin, blinking in confusion. he cuts you off with a quiet laugh, his voice almost teasing, but with a hint of warmness that’s not usually there. “trust me.” and you do. you let his hands lift you, the space between you becoming increasingly smaller. the awkwardness of the car’s cramped interior makes your movements more careful. you let him guide you over the center console, your body bending slightly as it digs into your legs. and then you’re in his lap. his hands remain on your waist, just holding you, watching you. your hands rest on his shoulders, steadying yourself. the new proximity makes your pulse stutter, so close to him it feels dizzying. his eyes search over your face, before his hands find your back, and he’s pulling you into him. his lips are on yours again, and every thought you had vanishes. this kiss is different than the other two.

it's hungrier, more desperate. like he was holding back, waiting for permission to let go. and you gave him that. his hands are everywhere- your back, trailing up your sides, your thighs, your hips, his touch desperate. like he’s trying to commit you to his memory. it's dizzying. intoxicating. your hands tangle in his hoodie again, trying to ground yourself as a small noise slips past your lips. everywhere he touches feels like it leaves fire in his wake. and then his lips leave yours. your breath catches as his lips move lower. he kisses the corner of your mouth, then your jaw. the sensation is foreign. it’s overwhelming. you can feel his breath against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine as a sigh leaves your lips. his hand on your thigh tightens at the noise, a noise coming from deep in his throat as his kisses become messier. his kisses trail along your neck, sucking, kissing, his breath ghosting over your skin. you felt hot. your fingers tighten in his hoodie, a sharp exhale leaving your lips. your heart is racing, your breathing picking up. your body is reacting to sensations you’ve never experienced before. your head falls back slightly, his lips exploring more area. it’s intoxicating. dizzying. but it’s a lot. it’s too much all at once, as much as you want more. the moment you shift slightly, heeseung notices. his kisses stop, but he doesn’t pull away. his breath is warm against your neck before, slowly, he lifts his head, his gaze searching yours. his grip on your body loosens slightly, just resting there now. “you okay?” his voice is low, laced with something that makes your head spin. “too much?” you swallow, grounding yourself. you want this. you want his touch, his kisses, his attention on you. but it feels like it’s moving too fast, caught between the two emotions. you nod, before quickly shaking your head. “i-“ you stutter, your voice quiet, breathy and shaky. “i don’t know. it’s a lot. but i want it.” his brows draw together slightly. he doesn’t look angry, he looks concerned. his voice is quiet, comforting. his hands slide to rest on your waist, simply holding you. “we’ll stop for now. i don’t want to rush you.” his voice is steady, but his breathing is uneven. there’s an emotion in his eyes you can’t place. they’re darker, flickering over your face. your heart lurches at the mention of ‘for now.’ he wants more as well. you exhale, your breath shaky as you nod. “okay.” you want to feel something more. you don’t want to move, don’t want to leave the moment. so you lean in, your cheek resting against his shoulder as you breathe out, the warmth of his body grounding you. his hands hover slightly over your waist, before they trail up your back, hands splaying out as he tugs you closer to him. it’s intimate. too intimate. you’re crossing a line, and you know it. his chest rises and falls beneath you, his steady breathing calming your erratic heartbeat. the warmth of his body feels like a blanket, everything quiet. you let the silence wash over you. it’s not awkward. it’s comfortable. the only sound that surrounds you is the rain, and the soft radio, “delicate” by taylor swift playing quietly.

his thumbs rub against your back, the small action causing a quiet hum to leave you as you shift against him, getting more comfortable. you hear a quiet laugh leave him, so soft it almost just sounds like a breath. his voice is soft, but it has the familiar teasing tone you’re used to. “you good, princess?” the nickname feels different this time- not used to tease anymore. like an unspoken acknowledgement that something has shifted, the layers of tension being peeled back slowly, your desires coming to fruition more every time you see him. it’s something neither of you want to say out loud, but you both feel it. you smile softly, nodding your head against his shoulder. “yeah. i’m good,” you whisper, your voice soft. he hums, tilting his head slightly so his lips brush against your ear as he speaks again, his voice so soft. “you sure? i know that was… a lot.” and you know it was. you’re feeling so much. so many feelings swirling in your chest. but you only nod, not wanting to break the moment. “yeah.” you press closer into him, snuggling up against his warmth. his arms tighten just slightly around you, locking you in his embrace, like you would ever want to leave. “i’m not going anywhere,” he laughs softly, feeling your hands grip his hoodie just a bit tighter. his voice has a warmth you’ve never heard before, the tone making your stomach flip, and you only hum in response, snuggling your head further against his shoulder. you know you’re down bad, you know you’re falling. hell, you’ve already fallen. part of you knows it’s a bad idea. while the other part just wants to live. wants to experience this moment. the serenity, the soft sound of the radio, and the warmth of lee heeseung. and for the first time today, it doesn’t feel like everything is falling apart.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

“i don’t know!” you cry out, throwing your hands up as you stare at the two girls sat in front of you with their jaws dropped. "i don’t even know what happened! it’s all a mess!” yunjin stands up, immediately pacing the room as she looks at you, shaking her head in disbelief. “wait, let me get this straight? you made out with him. in a car. in the rain? y/n, what the fuck?” wonyoung, still sitting, crosses her arms. “and you didn’t think to- what, call us? text us? i don’t know, anything.” you roll your eyes, staring back at her. “i did call you guys. yunjin was too busy getting her back blown out by beomgyu, and god knows what you were doing. he was the last person i could call, and i wasn’t about to walk home sobbing in that rain!” yunjin stops pacing, turning to you with her jaw dropped. “that’s a valid reason to not pick up the phone!” wonyoung’s face scrunches up in confusion, her head tilting. “you called me? i was watching youtube, i swear my phone didn’t ring.” you throw your hands up in frustration. “i don’t care! it’s in the past, i’m just- fuck, i’m losing my mind. i don’t know what i’m supposed to feel.” yunjin looks at wonyoung, the two sharing a look of disbelief. “okay. you asked him to kiss you, so obviously part of you knows what you’re feeling.” “i don’t-“ you groan, dropping your head in your hands. “i’ve never done this before, yunjin! it’s all new to me. it’s terrifying.” wonyoung smirks, clearly enjoying your misery. “you’re down bad, girl. just admit it.” you sigh, falling back onto the couch. “i know i’m down bad, wonyoung. i blush just thinking about the guy.” yunjin sucks in a breath, sitting down next to you. “brutal. so, like, what happened after? you made out, then what?” you pause, mind still spinning as you recount the memories of everything. you turn away from her, your voice quiet as you speak. “he like… pulled me into his lap. and he was kissing my neck…”

there’s a long silence. no one saying anything. you look back to see yunjin and wonyoung both staring at you with wide eyes. “what the fuck?” wonyoung yells, standing up. you press a finger over your mouth, begging her to shut up. she shakes her head, continuing to ramble. “y/n! oh my god, this is insane!” you place your hands over your face, heat crawling up your cheeks. “i know! i don’t know what i’m doing, guys! then we kinda hugged? and just sat there for like ten minutes. we only stopped because my legs were falling asleep and i made up some excuse to go inside.” yunjin only sighs, leaning her head back against the couch. “you’re so oblivious. he wants you.” you raise an eyebrow at her, slowly uncovering your face. “you don’t know that. why would he want me when he has a ton of other girls that know so much more than i do? i feel like a burden, like he has to teach me everything. i chickened out from a few seconds of him kissing my fucking neck!” wonyoung laughs, shaking her head. “i don’t know, y/n. why do guys do half of the stuff that they do?” she stretches, raising her arms above her head as she continues. “plus, not every guys mind is filed with sex. maybe he’s okay with taking it slow with you. i still can’t believe you bagged heeseung of all people, though. he’s known for his hook-ups.” “that’s exactly what i mean,” you mumble, your voice growing more defeated by the second. “maybe this isn’t a good idea. i feel like an idiot.” yunjin sits up, smacking your stomach before rising to her feet. “stop doubting yourself. you’re hot, okay? you’re looking into it too much, i promise.” you only glance at her, a pout on your lips. she sighs, grabbing your arms and pulling you to sit up. “i’m not saying to rush into anything, alright? don’t forget his reputation. but if he was willing to just hold you for ten minutes like that? there’s obviously something more there.” you give her a half-smile, considering her words. they hit deep, considering that his reputation had been the one thing lingering in the back of your mind when you got butterflies thinking about something that he did. what if you were just a game? just something to entertain him until the next girl came along?

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

the last few days had been brutal. you had forgetting what having a crush- an actual crush- felt like. on top of the… physical aspect of it, you were losing your mind. searching for heeseung around campus, daydreaming in class, your body heating up at the memory of his hands on you. you felt like a teenage boy with raging hormones. it didn’t help that you barely ever had the form to yourself, so being able to act on your desires was rare. now, it’s 10pm. you’re sitting in your room, finishing up some last minute assignments. yunjin is in her bed, scrolling on her phone, tiktoks playing quietly in the background. you submit your last assignment, your phone buzzing next to you. you glance at it, expecting a random notification, but it’s a text from heeseung. your heart speeds up just slightly. heeseung [10:20 pm]: u busy?you squint at the message. your stomach twists slightly, the two simple words sending a rush of adrenaline through you. you pick it up, anyway, typing out a quick response. you tell yourself to act normal. he can’t tell if you’re flustered over text. you [10:21 pm] why?it’s read immediately. and almost just as quickly, three dots appear. heeseung [10:21 pm]: wanna watch a movieoh, for fuck’s sake. this could only mean one thing. you felt your pulse speed up slightly, your fingers hovering over the keyboard before you send your response. you [10:22 pm]: watch it yourselfheeseung [10:22 pm]: don’t want toyou sigh, reading his message over and over. you couldn’t fall for a trap this easily, but yet, you wanted to. you [10:22 pm]: ask jake or somethingheeseung [10:23 pm]: he doesn’t look as good as uyour breath catches. oh. your whole body felt like it was heating up, betraying you quicker than your mind was. you should ignore him. put down the phone, pretend this conversation didn’t happen. save your sanity. heeseung [10:24 pm]: u gonna respond?fuck it. you [10:24 pm]: i hate u. be there in 10.you push yourself off the bed, yunjin sending you a look when you grab your jacket, pulling it over your arms. “are you going somewhere?” she asks, tilting her head. you jump slightly at her voice. you had forgotten she was here. fuck. “uh, yeah.” she raises an eyebrow, a tiktok playing on loop as she watches you. “at 10:30 pm?” fuck. think of an excuse. anything. “yeah, i need to-“ you glance around, your eyes landing on your backpack. “i need to print something!” she just stares at you, her expression full of amusement. “print something.” you want the floor to swallow you. “yeah.” "...at 10:30?”

"yep!” you reply, trying your hardest to seem believable. she blinks. “what do you need a printer for?” “class!” you reply quickly. too quickly. “what else would i need it for? that’s why, i’m going to the library.” her eyes narrow, her eyebrows furrowing. “the library closes at nine.” fuck. you’re horrible at this. “wonyoung has a printer! in her dorm! so i’m going. to print. my paper. because class is important.” no response. silence envelops the two of you. finally, she tilts her head. “you don’t have class tomorrow.” you’re going to slam your head into the wall. “fine!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up. “i’m going to walmart for snacks! is that better?”yunjin holds back a laugh, her eyes flickering with amusement. “snack run. got it.” “yeah, i had to lie or else… or else you would ask me to buy you something. and i don’t have a lot of money.” you reply. she only smirks. she knows you’re full of shit. you know she knows. “okay,” she shrugs, looking back at her phone. you let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding, walking towards the door. just as your hand touches the doorknob, she speaks again. “use protection.” you freeze, your stomach dropping. you turn to look at her, slowly. “what?” she keeps her eyes trained on her phone, but there’s a shit-eating grin on her face. “you heard me.” you gasp incredulously, glancing around the room. “i told you i’m going to walmart.” she snorts, finally glancing up at you, “yeah, and i’m going to paris next weekend.” you glare at her, flipping her off. “it was the best i could come up with! you put me on the spot!” “it was horrible,” she sighs, shaking her head in disappointment before continuing, “i don’t care what you’re do, but at least lie better. and i’m a bit offended you didn’t just tell me the truth.” you shake your head, embarrassment rushing through you. “nothing’s happening!” “no.” she replies, a smirk on her lips as she turns off her phone, placing it next to her. “you’re getting dicked down by lee heeseung. that’s what’s happening.” your jaw drops, and you yank the door open, your face burning red. “i am not! shut up!” “goodnight, y/n,” she muses, a teasing smile on her lips. you slam the door shut behind you, stomping down the hall. fuck. that was humiliating. you’re never living that down. she’s probably texting wonyoung at this exact moment, telling her everything that just happened. you groan out loud, your head falling back as you wait outside the elevator, sending heeseung a text. you [10:27 pm]: i’m going to kill u.you don’t wait for his response, stepping into the elevator as it opens. your stomach is twisting in anticipation, for… whatever is going to happen tonight. your body is betraying you. your mind is betraying you. thoughts flickering through your mind, making you feel dizzy as you walk to his dorm. it’s a short enough walk, simply enjoying the scenery of campus as you make your way to his dorm. it’s quiet at this hour, and it almost feels like you’re the only one here, besides the student you pass every few minutes. every step feels heavier, like you’re getting closer to what you know is a like you haven’t crossed before. as if you haven’t crossed more in the last week than you ever thought you would.

when you finally make it to his dorm, following the directions he gave you, your heart pounds in your chest as you stand outside his door. you hesitate, before raising your hand and knocking once. twice. you hear footplates approaching the door, before it swings open and- oh. your mouth almost waters at the sight. heeseung is standing there, a white wifebeater clinging to his skin, grey sweatpants low on his hips. his hair is messy and disheveled, making him look even more irresistible. his arms are crossed against his chest, muscles flexing every time he moves slightly. your brain stops working, your eyes raking over his figure before you realize what you’re doing. they snap back up to his face, but it’s too late. he already has the smug look on his face, and you’re praying he doesn’t say anything. luckily, by the grace of god, he doesn’t. he leans against the doorframe, raising his eyebrows slightly. “took you long enough.” you sigh, your lips pursing as you glare at him. “shut up. i’m here, aren’t i?” “yeah.” he says, voice dropping with teasing tone as he tilts his head. “i was starting to miss you, pretty girl.” your eyes widen a bit at the new nickname, and you swear your heart skips a few beats. you want to slam your head into the nearest wall repeatedly. you want him to- no. you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to get a grip. “move,” you finally say, pushing past him and entering his dorm. it looks like a typical college athlete dorm room. he was lucky enough to get a whole dorm to himself, basketball posters littering the walls, a pc set up where the other bed usually goes, and a small couch and tv off to the other side of the room. it was cozy, and not too cluttered. he lets you push him, and you try not to focus on how his muscles feel so much more defined through his tank top than they did through his hoodie. “damn, princess. you’re killing me.” you roll your eyes, walking over to his couch and plopping down on it. you watch as he shuts the door, stepping closer to you. his smirk stays on his lips, his eyes full of something you can’t read, but it sends a shiver down your spine. “so,” you begin, trying to keep your emotions in check. “what movie are we watching?” he doesn’t say anything, simply sitting next to you on the couch and turning the tv on. the movie of choice is waiting to be played, and your eyes squint slightly. “10 things i hate about you?” your voice comes out more surprised than you meant, and heeseung looks at you, tilting his head. you hadn’t expected this choice. you were expecting him to pick a marvel movie, or mad max, something that guys watch, you didn’t know. his smile is smug, glancing at the tv and back at you. “yeah,” he shrugs, not seeing the big deal. “do you not like it?” you blink, thrown off. a rom-com? it’s not something you had expected heeseung- or any college boy in general- to enjoy. you feel like you’re uncovering a new side of him, one that you haven’t seen before. you shake your head quickly, “no, it’s one of my favorites. just didn’t think you would watch something like this.” he raises an eyebrow in response, leaning back against the couch as he presses play. “i’m a man of depth, y/n.” his voice is teasing, his eyes flickering from yours to the tv. your stomach flips, but you don’t say anything else. you settle back into the couch, unsure of how much distance to put between the two of you. about halfway through the movie, patrick and kat finally kiss. lying down after the paintball game, against the hay. it’s like you can feel the tension snapping between them, your eyes staring longingly at the screen.

you can’t look away. it’s something you’ve always wanted. the kind of love you’ve always wanted to experience (well, besides the fact it all started as a bet). your mind flickers to you and heeseung and whatever… this is. without thinking, the words spill out, wistful, longing. “i’ve always wanted a love like theirs. this movie is perfect.” silence. the reality of who you just spoke those words in front of settles in. you blink, wanting the ground to swallow you. you glance over at heeseung, praying to every god that he somehow didn’t hear you. he definitely did. his eyes flicker towards yours, the corner of his mouth lifting into that signature smirk. he doesn’t say anything at first, just watching you, the way you shift in your seat, obviously regretting your choice of words. “yeah?” he finally asks, his voice low and teasing. it sends a chill through your body, and he leans just a bit closer. “i guess they are pretty nice together, aren’t they? reminds me of us.” his words make your eyes widen just slightly, your pulse speeding up at his comment. you swallow, hard. your mouth opens, but no words leave your lips. his gaze stays on yours, intense, waiting. but you can’t speak. the room feels like it’s shrinking, the air suddenly too think to breathe. he tilts his head, the stupid smirk still on his lips. “cat got your tongue?” his voice is still low, but there’s something else to it now. you bite your lip, nerves crackling between the both of you. the movie continues to play, but it’s just background noise now, only sound filling the heated silence between you. he shifts, his body facing yours completely now, making him feel so much closer. the smirk on his face drops slightly, an unreadable expression taking over his features. your breath stutters, and you force words to leave your lips. “well… i mean-“ he leans in closer, so close you can feel his warm breath against your skin. your heartbeat quickens, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the moment. you try to ignore your nerves, your erratic heartbeat, your shaky breath, the way your lips part slightly. but it’s impossible. he raises a hand to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. “tell me,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with something you can’t quite place. he drags your bottom lip down with his thumb, before letting it fall back into place. “you ever think about that with someone like me?” you swear your heartbeat stops. because you have. god, of course you have. but the words are stuck in your throat, the moment too tense for you to force any words out. you can’t even think straight. you feel surrounded by him. the look in his eyes, the proximity, his touch. you inhale sharply, your eyes closing for just a second as you try to ground yourself. it’s useless. you’re too far gone, the moment is too tense. his gaze flickers to your lips, a soft breath leaving his lips, and something inside you snaps.

your lips crash against his, your hands threading into his hair to pull him closer. he reciprocates immediately, groaning against your lips, like he had been waiting all night for this. his hand on your jaw tilts your head, deepening the kiss. it’s frantic, messy, and desperate. charged with emotion and the tension that had been building all night. all the unsaid words pouring themselves into the way your lips move against each other. his free hand finds your waist, pulling you closer. slowly, he shifts his hand to your back, fingers splaying out as he secures you, slowly guiding you down until you’re lying back on the couch, your bodies pressed together, his legs between yours. his weight settles over you, caging you in, but it feels like more than that. something you can’t quite place. your fingers leave his hair, trailing down to his chest, your breath stuttering as you feel the way his muscles move beneath his tank top, desire shooting through you. his tongue prods at your bottom lip, asking for more, your mouth opening instinctively to let him in. your breath catches as his tongue brushes against yours. it’s a foreign feeling, and you don’t know what to do. your inexperience is painfully obvious, insecurity filling you. but heeseung doesn’t rush you. his hand on your jaw tilts your head slightly, coaxing you to follow his movements. his kisses are slower now, letting you adjust. it’s messy and uncertain, but he exhales against your lips, hot and heavy, and you realize that he doesn’t care. your inexperience doesn’t matter to him. he wants this. you want this. you let yourself relax, your lips moving more confidently against his. something inside you clicks, your resolve shattering as your mind is clouded with the desire. the want for more. more of his lips, his touch, everything. your body feels like it’s on fire, need spreading throughout you. you pull back, gasping for air, both of your chests rising and falling as you catch your breath. your mind is hazy from the intensity of the kiss, of the feelings swirling through you. heeseung’s gaze softens slightly, like he’s about to say something, but before he can speak, you interrupt him. your voice is shaky, but firm. “i want more.” he stares at you for a second, processing your words. then, his eyes darken, and it’s like you can feel the shift in the room. a deep, guttural groan leaves his lips, and before you can process it, his lips are back on yours. his kisses are deeper, more urgent, desperate, like you just shattered his last ounce of restraint he had. you feel dizzy, his kisses intoxicating. his touch grows more fervent, one tangling in your hair to tilt your head. you sigh against his lips, everything feeling like too much and not enough at the same time as your hands grip his biceps, grounding yourself to something. his tongue slides against yours in a way that makes your head spin, the intensity of his kisses sending your mind reeling.

and then he shifts. just slightly, but his hips press against yours. it’s subtle, unintentional, but it sends a shock through your body, a familiar spark burning in your core. you gasp against his lips, your fingers tightening around his biceps as the pleasure spreads. he notices. fuck, of course he notices. hears the small, shaky sound that leaves you. he pulls back just slightly, his breath warm against your lips. his voice is low, dripping with amusement. “that feel good, princess?” you tighten around nothing, your thighs attempting to close, squeeze together, ease some of the tension you’re feeling. but you can’t, not with heeseung in between your legs. his lips curve into a smirk, picking up on every detail about your body. he presses his lips against yours again. rolling his hips again, this time deliberately. your breath stutters. the feeling is overwhelming, too much with all the emotions you’re already feeling, but you want it. your fingers dig into his biceps, using your grip as an anchor for your sanity, but he doesn’t stop. his lips trail along your jaw, down your neck, his voice tickling your skin. “you like that, don’t you?” you can’t answer, can barely breathe. you try to speak, but he rolls his hips just right, pressing right against your clit, and a whimper slips past your lips. he hears it. loves it. but when you don’t answer, he slows his hips, the loss of friction making your fingers tighten. you go to protest, but he speaks before you. “c’mon princess”, he murmurs, hand sliding down to grip your waist. “i asked you a question.” he shifts slightly- just enough for you to feel it. but it’s not enough. your core clenches at the fleeting pressure. “don’t get all shy on me now,” he hums, angling your hips just right before rolling his agan. slower, more controlled. your nails dig into his arms, head tipping back slightly. it’s not enough. and he knows. he’s waiting. waiting for you to break. and finally, you do. you gasp, voice breathless and desperate as it leaves your lips. “yes.” he huffs out a laugh against your ear, a shiver running down your spine. “that’s my girl.” his lips crash against yours, grinding against you harder, pulling gasps and whimpers from you. “fuck,” he exhales, forehead resting against yours. his breath is ragged, fingers tightening on your waist, like he’s trying to hold back. but you need more. your hips push up, chasing the dizzying pleasure. his grip tightens, his hips rocking harder, faster. “shit- princess…” he groans, burying his face in the crook of your neck. then you feel it. the solid press of him through his sweats. fuck, he’s huge. your stomach clenches, an involuntary moan leaving you. he’s hard, because of you. he’s enjoying this. you shift again, your underwear sticking uncomfortably to yourself, voice shaky and broken. “heeseung-“ his hand slides beneath your shirt, fingers splaying across your waist. his lips hover against yours, voice quiet, strained. “i’ve got you.”

it's too much. every roll of his hips, every kiss, every touch. your head rolls back, eyes fluttering shut as pleasure rushes through you. you can feel the knot in your stomach tightening, so close to tipping over the edge. heeseung watches, his breath hitching. his eyes are dark, lidded, filled with lust. his hands tighten on your waist, hips pressing harder. “you close, princess?” you nod, your hips trying to push up against him, but he holds you down, forcing you to take it. a groan leaves his lips, his voice strained as he grits his teeth. “fuck… you’re gonna make me blow a load in my pants.” his words make you shiver, barely processing words at this point. and then his hips move just right- and you break. your entire body tenses, your back arching off the couch as a broken cry leaves you, white-hot pleasure crashing over you. heeseung’s brows are furrowed, his jaw slack, watching as you tremble beneath him. and that’s all it takes for him. his fingers grip your waist tighter, his hips stuttering against yours as a choked gasp spills past his lips. “ah, fuck-“ he groans out, finally finishing in his pants. his body shakes against yours, the feeling only heightening your pleasure. it’s silent for a bit, the only sounds being the movie playing quietly in the background and your heaving breaths. you can still feel the aftershocks, your mind foggy, having felt as if it's flown somewhere far away. and then, a quiet, breathless laugh leaves heeseung’s lips. “damn, princess.” your lips part, but nothing but a soft exhale leaves your lips. your heartbeat is pounding in your ears, everything feeling too heavy. heeseung’s expression shifts, his amusement turning into something softer, his fingers brushing against your cheek. his touch sends a shiver down your spine, still hypersensitive. “you good?” your eyes finally flutter open, blinking softly. you manage a small nod, slowly coming back to reality. a small laugh leaves his lips, but his tone remains soft. “you sure? you look like you’re on another planet.” you nod again, and then reality sinks in. you just came in your pants because of lee heeseung. you basically had indirect sex with lee heeseung. your eyes widen slightly, a hand covering your eyes as you groan quietly. “i can’t believe we just did that.” he leans down just slightly, his lips brushing against yours ever so softly. “believe it, baby.” you let out an exasperated laugh, rolling your eyes as you shove at his chest. “literally shut up.” he only laughs, pushing himself so he’s hovering above you. he just watches you for a moment, silence enveloping you as you both process everything. and then. “not gonna lie, i’ve never came in my pants before.” your eyes widen, just looking at him. “oh.” you blink, averting your gaze. but then, something clicks. you did that. you were a first for him, too. it causes something proud to bloom in your chest, holding back a smile. “why do you-“ heeseung squints at you, an amused scoff leaving his lips. “are you proud of yourself right now?” you avert your gaze, poorly biting back a smile. “no.” “oh my god,” he groans, his head dropping to rest against your chest. “you so are.” you giggle, trying to ignore how his touch affects you. “i mean, i think that’s kinda an accomplishment. don’t you?” he lifts his head, an amused expression on his face. he laughs softly, shaking his head. “you’re unreal.” “i guess you’re rubbing off on me,” you shrug, pushing some hair out of his face. due to his positioning, though, it falls back right away.

“and, uh…” you hand runs down his face, fingers grazing down his chest as your eyes remain on his. “i’ve never done that with anyone before.” he lets out a quiet curse, and you can feel his muscles tensing under your fingers. he finally snaps out of it, glancing down at where you’re still connected. “this is just uncomfortable now.” you shift your hips, trying to ease some of the uncomfortable stickiness. it backfires, heeseung’s hand gripping your hip as he sucks a breath in through his teeth. “don’t move.” it sends a jolt of electricity through you, your lips parting slightly. fuck, this was such new territory for you. before you can speak, heseung is pushing himself off of you, standing up with a groan. “i’m gonna go get us some pants.” you push yourself up on your elbows, your stomach doing a little flip. the word leaves your lips before you can think about it. “us?” he tilts his head, a soft smile on his lips. “yes, us. i’m not letting you sleep over in ruined pants.” sleep over. you’re sleeping over. you’re spending the night at a guys dorm- heeseung’s dorm. “don’t look so surprised, princess. i’m not letting you walk home this late,” he speaks again, watching your surprised expression. and when he reaches out his hand, pulling you up to your feet, you let him. you let him get you a change of pants. you let him pull you closer in bed. you let yourself fall asleep in lee heeseung’s arms, even though your heart is beating out of your chest the whole time.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

it’s been two weeks. two weeks of this… thing with heeseung. and you’re happy. you’ve never felt this way about anyone before. you’re not dating. neither of you would call it that. no one has. not yunjin, not wonyoung, not his friends- but they all have that look in their eyes when they see you together. they know. because you’re together. kind of. you go to his games occasionally, dragging either yunjin or wonyoung along. because he asked you to come. he wanted you to be there.he’s on time for study sessions, even picking you up from your dorm sometimes. half the time is spent actually getting work done, and the other half is spent talking about everything and nothing at the same time. you go out together now. you take heeseung with you to your favorite café after class. you remember the first time you walked in with him after everything. a few of the workers just stared at you. you always came in alone, but here you were with lee heeseung, standing so close to each other, whispering like your words were only meant for you two. he takes you to a lookout about a twenty-minute drive from campus. it’s always quiet, peaceful. nothing’s said, but everything is understood. he always takes you late at night, the lights far away creating one of the most beautiful nights. the city feels so close, but so far away. just like everything feels with him. and then there’s the other moments. the ones that make you question whatever this is. when he brings your favorite drink to class- because he knows it now. when he watches the shows you recommended, listens to the music you play. when he always makes sure you get home safe, walking you all the way to your door before sending you off. when you catch him looking at you, his eyes softer, something that you can’t quite place. when he can always tell when you’re cold, not even saying anything before he drapes his sweater over your shoulders, going back to whatever he was doing like it was no big deal.it's not obvious you’re together, but it’s obvious that there’s something there. and that’s enough. you’re happy. you’re happy. right? the walk to your dorm is quiet. it’s not awkward- it’s never awkward. it’s just quiet. filled with words that neither of you want to say, caught in your swirling minds. the night is cold, but you can’t feel it. not with heeseung’s hoodie enveloping you, sheltering you from the nipping night air. his shoulder continues to brush against yours, the proximity making you feel safe. but something feels different tonight. the whole day, something felt off. like all the unspoken words were going to come to fruition. he had acted different tonight. softer. closer.

tonight, he had pulled the hood of your (his) hoodie up when the wind picked up, his fingers lingering for just a second too long. his fingers brushed against yours while you walked together, and for a second, you thought he was going to intertwine your fingers. tonight, he had just watched you when you were speaking. really watched you. like he was memorizing every detail of your face. and now, you’re here at your dorm. and you don’t want to go inside. you don’t want the night to end. you shift your weight from one foot to the other, looking up at heeseung as he stands in front of you. “thanks for walking me back,” you mumble, shoving your hands in the pocket of his hoodie. heeseung nods, his lips parting. your eyes light up the slightest bit. it looks like he’s going to do something, say something. finally, finally cross that line. maybe a kiss. not a kiss filled with tension, or a makeout session. a kiss just because. a soft, fleeting goodnight kiss. but then, he just exhales through his nose, his lips curling into a soft smile. his hands lift, your heart speeding up. it’s happening. and then, he tugs your hood down. his touch is so soft, it’s comforting. he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, your breath hitching at the action. his eyes flicker over your face, filled with unsaid words, and you can almost see the way he’s fighting his thoughts.his voice is so quiet when he speaks, filled with something you can’t place. “goodnight, princess.” you swallow, something akin to disappointment filling you. but you brush it off, simply nodding as you take a step back. “goodnight, heeseung.”his lips part again, but he closes them quickly, simply returning the nod. you try not to let your emotions show, just turning around and entering your dorm, the ghost of whatever moment should’ve just happened disappearing into the air. the door clicks shut behind you, and now it’s just you. alone. it’s quiet. too quiet. you’re half-expecting yunjin’s voice to fill the room, teasing you, asking you to spill all the details- but it doesn’t. she’s spending the night at beomgyu’s. it’s become routine for her. part of you wishes that was routine for you and heeseung as well. you sigh, running a hand through your hair before finally making your way to your bed, sliding under the covers. heeseung’s hoodie smells like him. that somehow makes everything worse. everything should be fine. this shouldn’t be a big deal. but you can’t stop thinking about it. the way he looked at you tonight- hell, the way he’s been looking at you every day lately. how close he got tonight, how his touch lingered. and the look in his eyes. like there was so much he wanted to say. but he didn’t. he never does. you stare at the ceiling, unsure of whether your feelings are valid or not. this isn’t how you expected your first romance to go. not that this is even a romance. or a relationship. or a situationship. whatever it is. you always thought love would be easier to understand, to navigate. that you would see someone, and everything would just click. you wouldn’t have to wonder, you wouldn’t be anxious. love at first sight, they call it. maybe you read too many books, watched too many movies. maybe you just had an unrealistic expectation of love. you push the doubt away, along with the lingering thoughts of confusion. they’re not fair. not to heeseung, and definitely not to you. you’re happy. or, you’re supposed to be happy. so why does it feel like you’re waiting for something that’s never going to come? something just out of reach, like a mirage? no matter how close you get, it continues to get further away.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

the sun is out, trees rustling slightly with the breeze. you and wonyoung walk side by side, her rambling about how some guy in her economics class- anton- keeps trying to flirt with her. it’s funny. sometimes you wonder if wonyoung truly understands how beautiful she is. you can’t blame the guy. “girl, i don’t know why you’re surprised,” you roll your eyes, a small laugh leaving your lips, “you’re stunning.” she smiles, her mouth opening as she goes to respond, but the words die on her lips as both your ears pick up on the conversation happening next to you. “heeseung? oh yeah, he said they were just messing around.” something said in passing by a guy talking to his friend. something not meant for your ears, but you heard it. and it hurt. made your stomach twist, a disgusting feeling settling in your gut. there was a party yesterday. heeseung went. he told you he was going. your mind swirled with endless possibilities. did something happen there? was something said? why are other people talking about you? you don’t react- at least, not outwardly. but the words feel like a punch to your gut. a bucket of ice water being poured over your head. wonyoung hears it, too. you know she did. you watch as she turns to you, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. “heeseung?” she asks, tilting her head slightly. “did something happen?” it only makes the ugly feeling inside you worse. you shake your head, trying to keep your voice as normal as possible. “no. but rumors are just rumors. besides, he’s really popular. people are bound to talk.” you try to convince yourself you mean what you’re saying out loud. like everything’s fine. like it doesn’t hurt. she hesitates a bit, studying your face. she opens her mouth, but ultimately nods along to your words slowly, letting it go. she continues to talk, the conversation between you two easily flowing again. you reply, trying to seem invested. trying to stop the uneasiness forming inside you more and more by the second. but it’s hard. you know heeseung. you know his reputation.

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the café was busy this time of day. conversation and the sound of drinks being made filled the small building, the smell of coffee heavy in the air. you’re sat at your favorite seat in the corner, heeseung sitting across from you. the conversation was flowing easily, the two of you talking about anything that came to your minds. you didn’t mention what you heard earlier, even though the doubts burned in the back of your mind. as much as you tried to push the thoughts away, they stayed. taunting you. the bell jingles, alerting that a new customer is walking in. you turn your head, your stomach dropping the second your eyes land on her. sieun. she makes direct eye contact with you, a slow smirk forming on her face as she walks over. your guard goes up immediately, heeseung having yet to notice her. you knew about their history. everyone did. an on-and-off fling that lasted for months. they ended things for good just a couple months ago, right before you met heeseung. “well,” she says, her voice dripping with false sweetness, a fake smile on her lips as she places her hands on the table. “you move on quick, don’t you? i’ve heard a lot about you two.” your body feels like it goes cold. you glance at heeseung, waiting for him to do something. say anything. but he doesn’t. his smile falters, his eyes flickering towards her. you watch as he rubs the back of his neck, simply shaking his head before turning back to his cup. it sends a chill through you, that same ugly feeling forming in the pit of your stomach. sieun doesn’t even acknowledge you. her eyes stay trained on heeseung, her smile darkening, lips curling into something sadistic. “don’t have anything to say? i heard you were just messing around with this one,” she continues. she can’t even use your name. ‘this one’ stings like a burning rod being pressed to your skin. but her words stick out the most. messing around. the same words you hear earlier. the same words that had been swirling in your head this whole day, making anxiety pound through you. it felt like every fear you had was being confirmed. every rumor, coming to fruition. you watch heeseung, your eyes pleading with him to say something. to say she’s wrong, that there is something between you two. that she heard wrong, and things are different this time. anything to make this right. but instead, he just shakes his head again a small, breathless laugh leaves his lips like he can’t believe this is happening. it makes your stomach twist, frustration bubbling up inside you. the man who always had something to say was now sitting wordlessly in front of you, avoiding eye contact with the both of you.

sieun finally turns to look at you, her smile turning sympathetic, taunting. “you’re cute,” she muses, fake sadness dripping from her voice. “i hope you’re not expecting anything serious.” it hurts. it feels like a stab wound to the heart, pain rushing through your whole body. your mouth opens and closes, but no words leave you. your gaze flickers back too heeseung, waiting for something, anything. that something never comes. sieun simply laughs under her breath and shakes her head, leaving as quickly as she came. leaving you two surrounded by a crushing silence. your hands curl into fists underneath the table, frustration turning to anger and hurt as you stare at the tabletop. heeseung still hasn’t said anything. he sits there, silent, and you can feel his gaze on you. it hurts too much. your heart feels like it’s shattering more by the second, and you can’t take it anymore. you’re pushing yourself up from your seat before you can think twice about it, grabbing your bag, and walking. you don’t look back. you don’t listen to his voice, or the stares from others as you make a beeline for the door. it swings open, the cold outside air whipping around you immediately, only adding to the storm of emotions in your head. you can’t think straight, every thought in your mind jumbled. you don’t hear him behind you, not until you feel the faintest pull on your wrist do you stop, your breath catching in your throat. you hear his breath, ragged, quick. and finally, after everything, he speaks. “y/n,” he says softly, cautiously, almost hesitant. his grip tightens just slightly, tugging just slightly more. “you could’ve said something,” you mumble, the words barely escaping your lips. “anything. and you didn’t.” there’s a pause. silence. deafening silence. and suddenly, it’s like the rose-tinted glasses were ripped off, leaving you standing with the reality of your actions. tears brim your eyes as everything hits you all at once. you fell for the playboy. you were stupid enough to just be another one of his girls. your throat tightens, and the words spill out before you can stop them. “i gave you so much,” you choke out, your voice trembling as you turn around to face him. “i- i actually trusted you. i had hope.” his expression falters just slightly, his grip loosening, just barely, but you notice it. his mouth opens, but you cut him off before he can speak, all the frustrated feelings you’ve bottled up leaving you. “you knew how new this was for me,” you continue, your voice rising. you ignore the stares of other students, or the tears that begin to spill from your eyes. “how new all of this is. why would you- why would you take that from me? i don’t know what i’m doing half the time we’re together, but i still try. and you- you just… you don’t try! you give me nothing in return!”

a bitter laugh leaves your lips, full of disbelief. your free hand comes up to rest on your forehead, trying to ground yourself somehow. but it’s no use. your tears keep falling, anger and heartbreak mixing to form the worst rush of emotions you’ve ever had. “you don’t even kiss me goodnight, heeseung,” you mumble, your voice breaking as more tears spill from your eyes, blurring your vision. “you can’t even do that. the only time we kiss is when you want to fucking make out.” his eyes widen slightly, and you can see the way guilt floods his features. but you can’t stop. it’s like you’re running on autopilot at this point. you laugh again, the sound borderline hysterical. your body is shaking with a mix of your cries and the emotion running through you, the adrenaline, the heartbreak. “you can’t even call me by my actual name,” you whisper, the words tasting bitter as they leave your mouth. part of you can’t believe you’re saying these things out loud. “just ‘princess’. always just princess.” the laugh in your throat dies, simply replaced by silence aside from your sniffles. his face- the guilt on his face- burns into you the more you look at him, your heart shattering at the sight. but whatever this is hurts more. you can’t take it anymore. can’t keep sacrificing your happiness, and having doubts about if lingering touches are true or not. “you don’t know how much that hurts,” you whisper, the anger you felt finally fading into nothing but heartbreak and hurt. “to give you everything, and only feel like a game. you know, i used to dream about my first kiss. every first i could ever have. and you- you took so many of them from me.” you finally stop speaking, letting the words sink in for the both of you. it’s quiet, tears slipping down your cheeks, but your face is blank. and heeseung stands there, motionless. confusion and guilt filling his expression, but you can’t wait around for a baseless apology. so you don’t. you pull your wrist from his grip, and he doesn’t hold you back. he doesn’t say anything. he just watches. and that somehow hurts more than hearing him say anything. you shut your eyes, biting your bottom lip to contain a sob as you turn on your heel, walking away. through your blurry vision, you don’t look back, keeping your vision forward as you walk away so fast it’s borderline running, your heart shattering more with every shaky step.

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your footsteps were heavy, dragging. the walk back to your dorm had been torturous, dried tears on your face, little sniffles escaping you as you ignored the stares of other students. you could acknowledge that you probably looked like shit. the door clicked quietly as you shut it behind you, locking you in silence. the familiar space that always provided comfort, seemed to do absolutely nothing for you now. your bag slid off your shoulder, falling to the floor with a quiet thud, but you didn’t even hear it. you felt numb, everything far away. but here, in the silence, it felt like everything replayed. every word, every emotion, him. your chest tightened, tears brimming in your eyes once again. they started to fall, soft at first, but they soon became uncontrollable. you tried to hold them back, to calm yourself down, but it was no use. your back hit the door, your legs giving out as you slid down, hitting the floor. you tried desperately to catch your breath, your sobs wracking through you as your hands gripped at your chest, trying to grasp at any sense of control over the situation. nothing was working. everything hurt. you were left feeling stupid and gullible. just another one of lee heeseung’s girls. and then, you saw it. on your desk chair, his hoodie was draped over the back. the sight sending a new wave of emotions through you. it was like you could feel it from where you sat on the floor, smell the familiar scent of him the hoodie carried. and it was all too much. a sob broke from your chest, loud, audible, everything crashing down at once. your chest burned. your head hurt. everything felt wrong. you were trying to pull yourself together, but it only got worse. the reality of everything kept tumbling down on you, forcing you to replay the memories of the day over and over. finally, you heard a door open, your eyes flickering over to the bathroom door only to see wonyoung and yunjin rushing to your side. their expressions filled with concern and confusion. it only made everything hurt more. your sobs were bordering being painful, your body shaking with each and every heaving breath you sucked in. wonyoung was next to you first, wrapping her arms around you as you continued to cry. you couldn't do anything, your hands shaking in your lap as the tears flowed freely. “what’d he do?” she asked bluntly, remembering the conversation from earlier. her hands rubbed your head, trying to calm you down as best she could. “what happened?” your lip trembled as you tried to get words out, but all that left was a strangled sob, your eyes clenching shut. your hands came up to your face, as if you were attempting to block out the pain. but nothing worked. you felt the ache deep inside you, burning, stinging. “what do you mean ‘what’d he do’?” you heard yunjin ask, her hand rubbing your knee comfortingly. you couldn’t reply, couldn’t even get a single word out. but you heard wonyoung filling her in on the conversation you overheard earlier, only adding to the pain you felt. you tried to speak, tried to fill them in on what had just happened, but it felt like the words were stuck in your throat, like bile threatening to come up. all that left you was gasps for air. and then, you sucked in a breath, and it all spilled out.

“she…  sieun came up to us. said.. he moved on quickly. that i was a game.” you choked out between sobs, shutting your eyes to ground yourself. “he didn’t- he didn’t say anything. nothing. he was just silent.” “so… fuck. i left.” your chest heaved, squeezing your eyes shut as you spoke the words that felt too real. “he tried to stop me- but i told him everything. everything i’ve been feeling… ands he still didn’t say a single fucking word.” it felt like saying them out loud meant that it actually happened. that it was real. that you didn’t imagine it, it wasn’t a bad dream. wonyoung’s arms tightened around you, pulling your head against her chest as you continued to sob, everything feeling too real. you had never felt this before. this all consuming pain that enveloped your whole body. a pain you couldn’t pinpoint, not a physical pain, but an emotional pain. resting somewhere deep inside you. yunjin’s eyes softened, her hands continuing to rub soft circles on your knee as you shook. “you deserve so much better than that asshole, y/n.” you swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing. “i don’t know what i was expecting, but i-“ you choked on your words, closing your eyes before continuing. “i thought it was real.” wonyoung rubbed your arm with the hand she had wrapped around you, the touch grounding you, comforting you. “don’t say that,” she whispered, her lips brushing against the top of your head, “this isn’t your fault.” you shook your head, finally lifting it as you wiped your tears, a bitter, disbelieving laugh slipping past your lips. “but it is,” you mumble, your voice shaky, “i let him in. i knew what i was getting into. lee heeseung, campus playboy. and i’m so, so fucking stupid for falling.” the two girls stared at you, pity etched across their faces as they watched you break down on the floor, the happiness you had been feeling being ripped away from you all too soon, leaving you empty and heartbroken.

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the world kept moving. the days stretched on, long and unbearable. it felt like each one bled into the other. it was strange. how time could feel so, so agonizingly slow. it had only been a few days, but it felt like weeks. but a part of you felt like you were still there. standing, waiting, begging for anything, and getting nothing but silence in return. you went to class because you had to. because you couldn’t let your grades slip. you sat in your usual seat with your notebook open, but the words blurred together. you busied yourself by doodling on your paper, words entering one ear and leaving the other. you couldn’t focus on anything, when your mind would drift back to him. every time someone leaned back in their chair, or tapped their pen on their notebook, you felt like you could see him. it made something in your stomach twist violently. you couldn’t tell if it was nausea or longing. but you knew it hurt. “y/n?” you blinked, snapping back to reality at the sound of your name. you looked up, only to be met with the eyes of your professor, staring at you expectantly. fuck. you swallow, gripping your pen just a bit tighter. “uh…” your eyes scanned the board for something, anything, but nothing made sense. you had no idea what was being discussed, or what question had been asked. you felt embarrassment flood you, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth as you sighed. “i’m sorry, i wasn’t paying attention. it’s been a long day.”your professor shook her head, eyes full of disappointment. “you need to pay attention, you’re usually better than this.” it hurt. her look of disappointment, her words. if only she knew how you felt right now, the thoughts running through your head. but you only nodded, sinking in your seat as she moved on, another student raising their hand enthusiastically to answer the one you head clearly missed. you forced yourself to sit through the rest of the lecture, trying to pay attention as best as you could. it didn’t work. eventually, you went back to doodling, your mind running wild with thoughts of regret again.

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eventually, yunjin and wonyoung forced you to go out. they thought it might help, and you believed them. maybe you just needed a night out, surrounded by people. that was bound to get your mind off of everything. so, you did your hair, your makeup, put on an outfit you felt good in. forced yourself to smile, taking a deep breath as you told yourself over and over that this would help. it was a good idea. but the second you stepped inside the bustling restaurant, laughter and voices echoing around you, you realized just how wrong you were. he was everywhere. in the boy at the next table, who wore his hoodie half zipped, his elbows rested on the table as he talked to his friends. in the smell of the cup of coffee a waiter walked by you, your mind drifting back to the café that had become your go-to. you haven’t gone since. in the laugh from someone a few tables down- a different voice, a different person, but it still made your stomach twist. the worst part was the basketball game playing on the tv mounted above the bar. you couldn’t help the way your eyes kept drifting to it, scanning the screen over and over again like you would see him. it wasn’t even your schools team, but you couldn’t stop. it just reminded you of him. the way he moved, controlling the court, making everyone root for him. you remembered the way his eyes would look for yours in the crowd after he scored a point. it made your breath hitch. you weren’t sure how long you stared, hyper focused on the tv, until yunjin’s hand tapped your lightly, your eyes reluctantly pulling away from the tv and back to hers. “you alright? you haven’t said much,” she murmured, beat voice soft, cautious. you shook your head, forcing a small smile that didn’t reach your eyes. “i’m fine,” you lied, forcing yourself to engage in the conversation that was happening. neither of them look convinced. and your eyes kept flickering back to the tv.

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you barely ate. you weren’t even doing it on purpose- didn’t realize how long you would go without eating. you just had no appetite, no desire to fuel your body. you would go the whole day, not even realizing you hadn’t eaten until it was 9pm and yunjin was shoving a cup of ramen in your face with a firm “eat.” it reminded you of how much he loved ramen. the thought only made you want to eat it less, your stomach churning at the thought. sleep wasn’t much better. nights were the absolute worst. at least during the day, you could fake it. pretend you were fine, put on a fake smile and laugh at unfunny jokes people made. busy yourself with small talk, classwork, and meaningless conversations to pull your mind away from the storm inside you, even if only for a bit. but at night, there was nothing to distract you. you had yunjin, of course, but you were tired of dragging her into your heartbreak fueled rants and crying sessions. so it was just you lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, yunjin’s soft breaths the only noise filling the room. you felt like you were drowning in your emotions. the loss. the regret. the ache in your chest that hadn’t gone away since that day. it was like you could feel it physically. like a weight pressing down on you, constantly following you around throughout the whole day, but it was the worst at night. you were tired. all you wanted to do was sleep. but you couldn’t. your mind was running at a million miles a minute, everything coming back to you. when you finally fell asleep, it wasn’t any better. in your dreams, you were back there- standing in front of him with a broken heart and crushed dreams. you always woke up before he could answer. and you felt stupid. because this is exactly what you had been afraid of. this is why you had been so hesitant. because you knew how it would end- you knew what he was like. and still, you let yourself fall. you didn’t even try to catch yourself, willingly stepping off the edge and enjoying the freefall until you hit the ground. hard. this was why you had stuck to romance novels for so long. why you had lived vicariously through kat stratford, rose bukater, lara jean covey… the list could go on and on. because, as much as you longed to experience romance, you were scared. scared that real life wouldn’t be like the book and movies. it wouldn’t be like the songs, or the cheesy love-at-first-sight stories old couples would tell you. and it wasn’t. it was painful, and things weren’t always destined to work out. even your playlists had shifted. whereas a week ago, your most played song was ‘bewitched’ by laufey, a lovesick smile on your face as you laid in bed, singing along to the lyrics, you found yourself repeating ‘right where you left me’ by taylor swift lately. you felt like the song described your situation too perfectly. you couldn’t decide if that was better or worse for coping. eventually you settled on the latter, because you would cry every time it came on, your breath hitching the second you heard the ‘friends break up, friends get married.” you just wanted everything to go back to normal. you wanted to go back to the day you met heeseung, walking to a different seat instead of sitting down next to him. you wanted to beg the professor to assign you with someone else. you wanted to never step foot in that fateful party that changed everything.

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it’s quiet aside from the video playing from your phone. you’re curled up in bed, a bowl of pretzels in your lap as you watch a video essay on youtube about fourth wall breaks. you had nothing else to do. yunjin was spending the night at beomgyu’s. again. wonyoung had to study for an exam coming up. you were left alone, your phone being your only entertainment. sure, you could’ve gone out. but it’s 11pm. you just needed something to keep your mind occupied. it usually doesn’t work. but tonight, things are different. you’re happier tonight. things are easier. your mind doesn’t keep drifting back to him. you stretch, rolling your neck as the voice talks about deadpool’s fourth wall breaks. it’s weirdly interesting. you forgot how entertaining youtube essays could be. the peace is shattered by a knock on your door. the sound is sharp and unexpected, making you jump slightly as you look towards the door. you freeze for a second, before checking the time on your phone. 11:15pm. who would be here this late? part of you thinks yunjin came back. but she has a key, so why wouldn’t she just unlock the door? you stand, slowly walking towards the door, yawning slightly as you near it. maybe it’s wonyoung. she could’ve finished studying and wanted to hang out. but when you finally pull open the door, your breath catches in your throat. there, standing on the other side, is heeseung. you feel your stomach churn. he looks different. there’s bags under his eyes, and his hair is messy, like he’s been running his hands through it. there’s a look in his eyes that you can quite place, something you’re grown accustomed to. you can never truly tell what he’s thinking. you stare at him, but you can’t get any words out. his eyes are staring back into yours, and it feels like time stops. you’re frozen, unable to move. he’s here. standing in front of you. you finally find your voice, forcing the words to leave your parted lips. “what are you doing here?” your tone is sharper than intended, and part of you wishes you could take them back. but it’s too late. they’re out there. heeseung stands still, his body tense. his eyes flicker around, like he’s lost deep in thought. it’s overwhelming. he hasn’t even said anything and you feel like he’s already said too much. you take a deep breath, your hand on the door as you get ready to close it. but heeseung’s fast. he reaches out, his fingers splaying across the door and halting your movements. “wait. wait,” he pleads, his voice quiet, breathy. “just let me explain, please. just- just let me in. i need to, fuck… i need to say something.” you hesitate, your eyes searching his. your mind is telling you to shut the door in his face, crawl back in bed, and pretend this conversation never happened. but you don’t. you can’t. something about his expression, the way he’s standing there, eyes pleading with you to listen for once- it stops you. so you open the door wider, letting him step inside. your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest, averting your gaze from his as you step to the side. he steps inside, and it’s like you can feel the shift in the room. you shut the door behind him, turning around to face him, and it’s like something cracks within him. he doesn’t wait a second longer. he just starts talking, words spilling out of him like a dam, like he’s been holding them back for some time. “i don’t- i don’t do relationships. i don’t know how to do them. i don’t know how to feel this way. wasn’t supposed to feel this way,” he pauses for a moment, running a shaky hand through his hair. “i was fine before you. but now, everything has changed. i’m so fucking confused.” you stand there, frozen, your stomach twisting at his words. it feels like you’ve been hit by a truck. you don’t know what to do, what to say, how to react. his voice rises slightly, and for the first time, you see his true feelings. “you- fuck, you ruined me.”

his words are softer than you expect. they lack the usual teasing. they’re not sharp or mocking. they’re just a quiet emission of something he’s been dealing with, something he doesn’t know how to navigate. the pure emotion in his voice cuts through like a knife, hitting somewhere deep inside where all the sadness had piled up inside you. “you make me want things i don’t even know how to want,” he continues, his voice quiet now, barely above a whisper. “i tried to deny it. i tried to push every feeling i had away. i couldn’t admit it to myself- i was scared.” he stops talking, sucking in a breath as he stares at you. his eyes search yours, like he’s trying to gauge your emotions. you’re not sure. you don’t even know what you’re feeling right now. you’re finally able to force a word out, your voice shaky and quiet, like you’re not even sure you want him to hear. “heeseung…” but he doesn’t respond. he just stands there, his chest rising and falling with every shaky breath he takes. his eyes stay locked on yours, and his mouth parts like he’s going to say something, start speaking again. but instead, he runs a hand through his hair, letting out an incredulous laugh. it’s not a happy laugh. it’s disbelieving, tinged with frustration and sadness, like he can’t even comprehend the fact that he’s in this position right now, pouring his heart out to someone he hurt. “fuck,” he mutters, shaking his head, his voice wavering. “i can’t even focus at practice. coach keeps yelling at me, reprimanding me, but-“ he pauses, his eyes landing on yours again. “i can’t stop thinking about you. it’s screwing me up.” you blink, the weight of his admission sinking in, making your eyes sting and a lump form in your throat. his voice is so raw, his words hitting you like a punch to the gut every time. his hand is shaky as he runs it over his face, shaking his head like he’s fighting something inside himself. “i don’t know what’s happening to me,” he continues, his voice breathy and laced with emotion. “i can’t stop wanting you. i don’t know what to do with that. i’ve never felt this for someone before.” he steps forward slightly, and you can feel yourself tense up. there’s an intensity in his eyes, raw and unfiltered. like he’s determined. it’s the most honest you’ve ever seen him be, the first time you’ve been able to tell what he’s feeling by looking at him. it almost knocks the breath out of you. “i want… i want you to be mine, y/n,” he confesses, his voice full of sincerity. “i want to hold your hand, not just have our fingers brush. i want to kiss you, for no reason at all, but because i can’t help it. i want you to be able to tell people i’m yours. i just, i want to be close to you all the time. i’ve never experienced this before, and it scares the hell out of me. but losing you is worse. i can’t keep pushing my feelings- and you- away when you’re all that i think about.” you freeze, your breath hitching as his words sink in more and more. he wants you. he wants this. your heart is racing, and your breathing picks up just a bit. heeseung takes another step closer, his voice barely above a whisper now as if he’s scared to say the words out loud. “i’m so fucking scared, y/n. this is all new to me. i don’t know how to do this. but i want to make this right. i want to be able to tell you what i’m feeling and what i want, just- please, don’t walk away again.”

the desperation in his voice tears at you, and before you can stop yourself, your vision blurs. the pressure in your chest builds, and a shaky breath leaves you as you feel the dam break. tears spill from your eyes, hot and fast, all the emotions you’ve been bottling up crashing down from the weight of his words. heeseung’s eyes widen the second he sees your face shift, and in an instant, he’s there. his hands gently cup your face, his thumb softly wiping away every tear that falls. your breath hitches at his touch, a quiet sob leaving your lips. “hey, hey, look at me,” he says softly, his hands guiding your face up carefully, like he’s afraid you might break. “i didn’t mean to- fuck. don’t cry, baby.” you can’t stop it. the tears are falling down faster that you can hold them back. heeseung’s thumbs continue to brush against your cheeks, trying to calm down the rush of emotions you’re experiencing. but it’s too much- the words, the emotions, the tenderness. it’s all so new, so different from what you’ve been experiencing these past few days. your chest tightens, a mix of pain and relief swirling inside you, and before you can stop yourself, you press your head against his chest, your fingers gripping tightly onto his hoodie in a desperate attempt to steady yourself. heeseung tenses up at the contact, his hands still cradling your face, albeit a bit awkward in this new positioning. but he doesn’t pull away. he lets you lean against him, tears spilling from your eyes as both of you breath shakily, like you’re afraid this moment could disappear at any second. for a few seconds, neither of you moves. the room is thick with tension, and the sounds of your sniffles and his uneven breathing. then slowly, cautiously, his hands finally slip down to rest at your back, gently- his touch so light you almost don’t feel it- pulling you a bit closer to him. his movements are tentative, like he’s not sure if he even has the right to hold you, but he’s too afraid to let you go. then, slowly, you pull away. but not far. just enough so you can tilt your head up, your eyes locking with his. and for a moment, it feels like the world stops. all his emotions are laid bare- his sincerity, his longing, his fear. and every emotion he’s feeling is mirrored in your gaze. you’re both scared, but you’re no longer hiding those feelings from each other. this is something new for both of you, but you know you’re ready to navigate it together.

before you can think too much about it, or second guess your thought process, you’re leaning in, pressing your lips against his. softly, tentatively at first. it’s different from every other kiss you shared. it’s not the rushed, messy kisses born from confusion and curiosity. no. it’s different. it’s slow, tender, filled with every unspoken word, every quiet confession that’s stayed locked deep inside until now. all the feelings of longing that have finally surfaced. it’s everything you both wanted but were too scared to ask for. his lips move against yours slowly, and the gentleness of the kiss contrasts everything that came before it. the rush of emotions is still there, but it's calm now, dissipating softly like the rain slowing down after a thunderstorm. it’s just the two of you, finally letting go, spilling your emotions out. heeseung’s hand moves to the back of your neck, his touch gentle but firm, pulling you closer. you can feel the warmth of his breath against your lips, the soft press of his body against yours. it’s not like before. it’s real. and it’s yours. when he finally pulls back, there’s a moment of silence. neither of you say anything, but you don’t have to. the air is thick with meaning. there’s no need for words anymore. there’s a silent understanding between the two of you. a small, hesitant smile tugs at his lips, his hand moving from the back of your neck to cup your face. “i mean it,” he whispers softly, as though he’s trying to reassure both of you. his thumb brushes against your bottom lip, his eyes flickering to them before back up to your eyes. “i’m not going anywhere.” you nod, a shaky breath leaving your lips as your eyes search his. “i know,” you whisper back, the words a promise exchanged between the two of you. you lean back in, connecting your lips for the second time that night. the second they meet again, it’s different. the hesitation, the sadness, it all melts away, being replaced by something different. something neither of you can hold back anymore. your fingers dig deeper into the fabric of his hoodie, desperate for something to ground you in this moment. you feel heeseung’s hand move around to the back of your head again, fingers tangling slightly in your hair. you pull away, just slightly. your lips are still hovering over his, and you whisper, so quiet you’re not even sure if he heard. “heeseung…” you don’t even know what you’re asking for. you don’t know why you’re saying his name. his breath hitches, but he doesn’t pull away. you can feel the hand on your back tighten slightly, and he exhales softly, voice low. “i know.” and then he’s kissing you again, more sure this time, more determined. he guides you backward, each step slow, until the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed. he doesn’t rush you. he just holds you there, lips moving against yours, as if he’s waiting for you to stop him. you don’t.

he slowly eases you down on the bed, his hand on your back supporting you until your back collides with the bed. he follows you, until his body is hovering over yours. he finally pulls back, his weight braced on his forearm. his gaze flickers over your face, as if he’s memorizing every piece of you, trying to read your mind in this exact moment. it’s a look you’ve never seen in his eyes before, and it makes your stomach do flips. he raises one of his hands, his thumb brushing against your cheek. the softness of his touch sends a shiver down your spine, and you can’t help the way you push your head into his touch. and then, he speaks quietly, almost like a vow. “let me prove it to you.”your breath hitches. your eyes widen slightly, and you feel like you can’t move. you can’t speak. you feel like these past two weeks heeseung has spilt you open, making you feel things no one else has ever done before, and now he’s in front of you, offering to do the same. and for the first time, it feels real. heeseung doesn’t push. he just waits. because for the first time in a long time, this isn’t a game to him. it’s not about winning, or getting the girl. it’s about you. silence lingers between you, his words sinking into your mind. let me prove it to you. your heart pounds against your ribs, and part of you is sure he can hear it. his thumb continues to trace slow, soothing circles against your cheek, and the gentleness of it, the want, the need you feel pushes you. your fingers tighten in the fabric of his hoodie, exhaling a slow deep breath. you can feel the nerves pulsing through your body, but the warmth of his body above you, the emotions in his eyes, the softness of his touch, it’s enough. you tilt your chin up, pulling him down into another kiss. he reacts immediately, his lips moving against yours in slow, careful kisses. he still doesn’t rush you. his hand slips from your cheek to trail down your arm, fingertips skimming across your skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. slowly, the kiss deepens, bit by bit. his tongue swipes across your bottom lip, and just like last time, you let him in. it’s still clumsy, but you let yourself relax under his touch, sighing against his lips. his hand finds your waist, his fingers tightening slightly like he’s trying to hold himself back, and slowly, his lips trail lowers. to the corner of your mouth, then your jaw, then the soft curve of your neck. your breath hitches. his lips are moving slowly, his kisses soft and fleeting, like he’s testing the waters, lingering, waiting for any sign that this is too much. but you don’t stop him. instead, you let your head roll back slightly against the pillow, granting him more access to your neck. his kisses grow more intense at that, sucking a piece of your skin and pulling a gasp out of you. his fingers brush under the hem of your shirt, just barely slipping beneath the fabric, his fingertips pressing slightly on your stomach. it sends a shiver down your spine, and instinctively, your body tenses. not out of fear- but because it’s new.

this isn’t like the last time this happened. it’s more full of emotion, more sure, like you’re dedicating yourself to him. like this time, you’re truly crossing a line that can never be undone. heeseung notices immediately. he stills, his lips hovering over your skin, his warm breath against your neck sending a shiver through you. he stops moving his hand up, simply opting to run slow, lazy circles on your torso with his thumb. he pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes searching your face, as if he’s trying to understand what you want. what you need.you swallow, his gaze making something churn inside you. your chest is rising and falling in quick, timid breaths, nerves rushing through you. the hesitation is there. the fear. but so is the anticipation. the want. the need to experience something new, to finally give in to what your body and heart have been desiring. so you don’t pull away. you don’t stop him. instead, you push yourself up slightly, your lips hovering against his, and you whisper, “it’s okay.” something in his gaze darkens, something unreadable passing through his expression. he holds your gaze for a second longer, like he’s giving you one last chance to change your mind. like he’s trying to make sure that you’re sure. but when you don’t- when you reach up and curl your fingers around the back of his neck, pulling his lips fully against yours- his restraint snaps.his kisses are hungry, taking more and more from you. and you love it. his hand under your shirt moves again, fingers splaying across your ribs as he holds you there, his lips moving against yours. for the first time, neither of you are trying to hold back. you arch slightly, pushing your chest into his hand, assuring him he can go further. and just like that his hand moves up more, cupping your breast over your bra and eliciting a gasp from your lips. your fingers curl in his hair, your chest rising and falling at the new sensation. heeseung can feel his restraint slipping more and more by the second. the need to be all over you, to make you feel sensations you’ve never felt before. but even through the haze, he’s careful. because this is you. and he knows this is a lot. his lips place sloppy kisses against your neck, his fingers groping and massaging your breast, ripping gasps and sighs from your lips. it’s like each kiss, each touch is a silent question, waiting, asking for permission without saying the words. and you give it to him. in the way your back arches, the way your hands tug at the strands of his hair, the gasps that leave your pretty lips as he explores places of you no one ever has before. he exhales a shaky breath against your skin, and he pauses, resting his head against your shoulder. his hand pulls at the cup of your bra, teasing you- and himself. tempting both of you with what’s about to happen. his body is tense, his breathing heavy, like he’s trying to control himself.

and then he lifts his head, his eyes dark and dazed as he looks at you. god, the way he looks at you. it makes your heart stutter, your stomach flip, it sends a rush of desire through you, your thighs attempting to close, rub together, ease any of the tension you’re feeling. but of course, like last time, you can’t. not with heeseung resting between your legs. his lips part slightly, like he wants to say something. but instead, he swallows hard, his eyes roaming across your frame. and before you can even process it, before you can allow yourself to feel self-conscious under his gaze- he moves. his finger slides out from under your shirt, and his hands curl around the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head with one smooth motion. a gasp leaves your lips, and he tosses it aside, not caring where it lands. and then he’s back on you. his lips are pressing urgent, feverish kisses across your newly exposed skin. his hands are everywhere, his lips are everywhere. he kisses you like he needs it. it leaves your head spinning, and your body feeling like it’s on fire. “heeseung-“ his name leaves your lips in a breathless plea, barely more than a whisper, feeling everything all at once. you feel him shudder against you, his lips pausing against your breast. then, slowly, his hand slips behind your back, his fingers resting on your bra clasp. it sends a shiver through you, your heart stuttering at the feeling. his voice is low, filled with lust, and he raises his head just slightly, his eyes meeting yours. “can i?” and you nod. you don’t think twice, simply pushing your back off the bed to give him easier access. and slowly, he pulls your bra off of you, leaving your top half completely exposed to him, showing him more than anyone else has ever seen. “you’re fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, before his lips are back on you, his lips immediately latching onto one of your nipples, his tongue flicking, his lips sucking lightly, sending pleasure coursing through your veins. his hand comes up to massage the other one, pulling a choked moan from your lips. the feeling is so new, so foreign, and you didn’t know it could feel this good. you can’t help the way you squirm under his touch, your head falling back as breathless sighs leave your lips. your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging hard. and heeseung groans against your skin. a low, deep sound that vibrates through you, making your stomach clench and your thighs twitch, desperate to alleviate the need growing within you. and slowly, he sits up, his eyes locked on yours. your chest rises and falls rapidly as you watch him, already missing the feeling of his mouth on you. but then. his fingers grab his hoodie, pulling it over his head.

something deep pools inside you at the sight of him. something that has you attempting to clench your thighs. your eyes take over his figure. the toned muscles, the sharp lines, his v-line, the way his sweatpants hang just a little too low on his hips. it makes your mouth water. but you don’t get to stare long. because his lips are back on you immediately. trailing over your chest before moving down slowly. his hands rub down your sides, mapping out every curve. his lips trail between your breasts, then down the center of your stomach. his kisses are slow and unhurried, making you feel dizzy. you body is so sensitive to every little thing he does. your breath catches as he gets lower, and lower, and lower- until he stops. his lips rest right above the waistband of your sweatpants, his hot breath against your skin making you shudder. he looks up at you, his eyes dark, filled with lust, and you can feel yourself clench around nothing. his fingers toy with the waistband of your sweats, simply watching you. as if he’s asking for permission without saying a word. and you give it to him. you push your hips off the bed slightly, slow and needy, your eyes full of desire as you stare at him, a shaky exhale leaving your lips. “fuck,” heeseung whispers against your skin, a shiver running through you. you feel the way his grip on your waistband tightens, his mouth so tantalizingly close to where you need him. and then his lips part, a soft breath leaving his lips as he finally speaks, his voice low and dark. “are you sure?” you nod, a soft whimper leaving your lips as you wriggle your hips, your eyes pleading with him. he only breathes a laugh against your skin, the sound quiet and breathless, his lips pressing a soft kiss against your skin, a shaky breath leaving your lips as the feeling sends a shiver down your spine. “words, baby,” he whispers out, his voice low and teasing, but there’s an edge to it that makes your stomach twist and your core clench around nothing. you don’t even know if you can speak. everything is so overwhelming in the best way possible, your eyes flickering all over his face as he just watches you with a smirk. you push your hips up again, your breath coming out desperate and breathy as you whisper. “heeseung, please.” that’s all it takes for him. he smiles, pressing another kiss to your skin before his fingers dip under your waistband, tugging your sweats and underwear down in one go. his fingers tug slowly, revealing more and more by the second. you feel more exposed, suddenly aware of how you’re now completely naked in front of heeseung. but you trust him. his eyes stay on yours the entire time, until he finally gets your pants off your legs completely, tossing them somewhere in the room. only then, does his gaze drop down, and you can see the way his eyes darken as he zeroes in on you. you go to close your legs, suddenly self aware, but he grips your thighs before you get the chance, a soft gasp leaving your lips as he looks back up at you. “keep these open for me, hm?” his thumbs rub slow, absentminded circles against your skin as he just watches you. like he’s committing the sight of you laid out bare beneath him to his memory. but it’s torturous for you.a whimper catches in your throat as your hands grip at the sheets, your hips attempting to move. “heeseung-“ he pushes your hips down, keeping you in place as he shakes his head. “you’re so needy, baby.” slowly, his fingers trail up your inner thighs, so close to where you need him, but never quite touching you, never giving you what you so desperately need. you whine, shifting your hips up, trying to feel something, but he just pushes your thighs down again. “patience,” he murmurs, the corner of his lips quirking up. “let me take my time with you.” and slowly, so slowly, he runs a finger along your slick folds, the sensation making a gasp slip from your lips. your thighs twitch, and he moves his finger up, pressing down on your clit and pulling a soft moan from you.

“oh- heeseung,” you gasp out, your eyes closing and opening again as your chest rises and falls rapidly, growing accustomed to the feeling of someone else controlling your pleasure. he hums, before moving his finger back down, finally inserting a finger inside you. a moan slips past your lips, your walls fluttering around him. “shit, baby,” he exhales, a breathy laugh leaving him as he looks up at your face before back down at your cunt. “you’re so tight.” he curls his finger, stretching you open as you gasp and whine, your hands tightening in the sheets as he pushes another finger inside your dripping cunt. you let out a shaky breath, your head rolling back against the pillow. and then his mouth is on you. a choked moan rips from your throat as his mouth sucks on your clit, the new feeling making your eyes shoot open as your hands fly from the sheets to his hair. “heeseung- fuck-“ you gasp out, your hips attempting to move, but he uses his free hand to press down on your stomach, forcing you to stay still. to take it. it’s too much too fast. you can feel the knot in your stomach tightening, every suck and press pushing you closer to the edge. your fingers tighten in his hair, and heeseung groans against you, sending a delicious vibration through you. your thighs shake as you gasp, teetering right on the edge. “heeseung,” you moan out, your voice shaky and strained, “gonna- i-“ you can barely get the words out before his lips curve into a smirk against your skin. he hums, the feeling making you squirm before he mutters, “already?” and then his mouth is back on you. his fingers are moving faster, his mouth sucking harder, his tongue working over your clit in slow circles. it's too much. your body tenses up and finally, the coil snaps. a broken moan spills from your throat as your back arches off the bed, your body trembling as you come undone. you can feel his arm press down harder, holding your bottom half still as you gasp, unable to do anything but take it. he doesn’t stop. at least, not immediately. he works you through it, his tongue lapping up every drop of your release, his fingers still moving and drawing out your pleasure. only when it’s too much, a whine slipping past your lips as your hands tug at his hair, does he stop. he pulls back, the bottom half of his face glistening with your slick, his eyes dark as he meets yours- and somehow, you want more all over again. “still with me, princess?” his voice is teasing, and he pushes himself up until he’s hovering over you. “or did i fuck you dumb already?” you can barely answer, the aftershocks of your orgasm still coursing through you. his lips hover above yours, a small smile on his lips before he presses them against yours. you can taste yourself against his lips, slightly bitter. your hips attempt to close, but he’s already settled himself between your legs, and you can feel him smirk against your lips as he grinds his hips just enough for you to feel him. it makes you gasp against his lips, desire coursing through you again. you can feel how hard he is, the outline of his cock pressing against your inner thigh through his sweats. “you want this just as much as i do, don’t you?” he mumbles against your lips, his voice a low rasp. you can only nod, your breath catching in your throat as he rolls his hips again. “think you can take me, baby?” he smirks, one of his hands sliding down your body to pull your legs open further, pressing his clothed cock right against your core and grinding down, forcing a quiet moan from you. “please,” you whine out, your eyes fluttering shut as your mouth falls open in a silent gasp. “yeah? want me inside you? stretching you out, filling you up for the first time?” he whispers against your lips, pressing his hips harder against yours as he lets out a strained breath. your breath hitches at the lewd words leaving his lips, but your cunt clenches around nothing. you finally crack, words spilling from your lips. “yes- please… want you,” you murmur, your eyes pleading with him, full of desire.

his smirk deepens, and he presses a final kiss to your lips before pushing himself up. his fingers dig into the waistband of his sweats, and in one fluid motion, he pulls them down along with his boxers. his cock slaps against his stomach, his tip angry and leaking, and your eyes widen at the sight. how the fuck was that going to fit inside you? he stroked himself a few times, huffing out a laugh at your surprised expression. “see something you like?” he asks, a teasing tone to his voice. you roll your eyes with a small smile, but you can’t hide the desire in your expression. the way your cunt clenches around nothing as your eyes flicker back down to where his cock strands. he leans down, hovering over you as he pulls one of your legs open, exposing you to himself further. his cock brushes against your inner thigh, his tip leaking against your skin and causing you to shudder. “is it… gonna hurt?” you ask quietly, almost feeling stupid for asking such a question. but he doesn’t judge you. his expression shifts from one of amusement to something more soft, his hand on your thigh rubbing gentle circles as he smiles at you. “it might sting a little bit,” he whispers back, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “but just relax for me, alright? i’ll take care of you.” you nod, your voice breathless as you reply. “okay.” your pulse races as his cock brushes against your folds, the reality of everything setting in. you’re about to lose your virginity. it makes a mix of anxiety and adrenaline rush through you, a mewl leaving you at the feeling. “that’s my girl,” he whispers, his hand leaving your thigh to grab his cock, rubbing himself up and down your folds, coating himself in your juices and drawing quiet moans from your lips, your hips pushing up just slightly, chasing the sensation. finally, he positions himself at your entrance, his hips pushing forward as he enters you. the stretch makes your breath catch in your throat. it stings. it’s overwhelming. it’s such a new feeling, sending a shiver down your spine as your cunt clenches around him, drawing a groan from his lips. “fuck,” you breathe out, your voice shaky and quiet, fading into a moan as your eyes clench shut. he pauses for a moment, letting you adjust to the stretch as he presses a kiss to the corner of your lips. “you’re doing so good for me, baby,” he murmurs, his hand sliding to your cunt, rubbing soft circles on your clit and ripping a gasp from you. “just breathe for me.” it distracts you from the burning stretch, dulling the pain the slightest bit as your cunt clenches around him, his hips starting to move again. a soft, shaky breath leaves your lips, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders as he fills you completely. “feel good, princess?” he murmurs against your lips, his voice soft as his thumb continues to rub circles against your clit, a little faster now. you nod, words caught in your throat as the pleasure begins to mix with the pain, giving way to a sensation- a fullness- you’ve never felt before. finally, he bottoms out. you can fill every ridge and vein, your cunt pulsing around him as it struggles to accommodate the stretch. his thumb never stops circling your clit, easing you into full pleasure. he doesn’t move, simply resting inside you and letting you adjust to the new feeling. and slowly, the pain fades. replaced by pleasure, a want- a need- for more. your hips move slightly, a gasped moan slipping past your lips at the pleasure that rushes through you. “please,” you whimper, your fingers digging into his shoulders as your eyes flutter open, meeting his. “move…”

slowly, carefully, he pulls out slightly, dragging out of you before pushing back in, pulling a soft moan from your lips. every roll of his hips presses him further inside you, making your mind hazy as you adjust to the fullness. “hee,” you whimper out, your head rolling back as the feeling grows more pleasurable, sending your head spiraling with every thrust. his thumb still circles your clit, drinking in every reaction you give him. “yeah, baby?” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, making you focus on him for a second. “still doing good?” you nod, your breath getting caught in your throat as he hits a particularly deep spot. it feels good. it feels so good. but you want more. you need more. “yeah,” you whisper. “feels good, but-“ you hesitate, but you don’t need to finish. you catch the way heeseung’s eyes darken immediately, his movements stilling for just a second, like he’s processing your words, before he’s moving again. “you want more, princess?” his voice is lower now, darker. hungrier. it makes you clench around him, a hiss leaving his lips, the corner of his lips quirking up. you nod frantically, your fingers gripping his shoulders as his hand leaves your clit to find purchase on your waist. “please,” you gasp out. “i need-“ you don’t get to finish. a moan spills from your throat as he pulls out, only to slam back in. his careful, slow, pace is gone in an instant, replaced by something deeper. something intoxicating. your fingers claw at his shoulders, his arms, his back, anything you can to ground yourself as his thrusts speed up. “fuck,” he grits out, his head dropping to your shoulder as his hips snap forward again, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. “knew you’d take me so well, baby.” it’s too much. the pleasure builds, your moans getting louder. you can’t even control the noises leaving your mouth, too lost in the pleasure. you don’t even register how loud you’re getting until his hand clamps over your mouth. your eyes fly open, seeing him hovering over you now, his gaze half-lidded and dark. his lips are parted, uneven breaths leaving him as his hips continue to ram into you.“shh, princess,” he rasps, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he hits a particularly deep spot, making you moan out against his mouth. “only i get to hear those pretty sounds, yeah?” a muffled whimper leaves your mouth, your walls fluttering around him as you process his words. his pace never slows, pushing your limits, testing just how much you can really take. and you love it. “bet you’d sound so pretty if you could really let go,” he murmurs, his dark eyes staring into yours. his free hand trails down, resting on your stomach. your eyebrows furrow slightly, just before he presses down. your eyes roll back, a loud moan escaping your mouth and being concealed by his palm. it makes you feel him, all of him. stretching you. filling you completely. “you feel that, baby?” his fingers press harder, drawing another strangled moan from your lips as your eyes clench shut. “so fucking deep inside you. you take me so well, fuck-“ your body responds before you know what you’re doing. your hips roll up to meet his, desperate for more of the pleasure you’re experiencing. and heeseung loses it. “can you be quiet for me, princess?” he whispers. and you nod, hazy, dazed. he smirks, pressing harder on your stomach and pulling a broken moan from your lips as your body jolts beneath him. he slowly removes his hand from your mouth, sliding it down your body to grab your thigh, spreading you wider for him. a choked whimper leaves your lips, your mouth clenched shut as you try your hardest to hold your sounds in. but it feels too good. tears gather in your lashes, your body arching into his.

his cock twitches inside you, a dark grin on his face as he tilts his head at you. “what’s wrong, baby?” his voice is mocking, teasing, cruel. and it only drives you crazier. a tear slips down your cheek, your cunt clenching around him. you don’t trust your voice- hell, you don’t even know if you can speak right now.“too much?” he asks, but he doesn’t stop. if anything, he pushes deeper. you shake your head frantically, a broken sob leaving your lips as more tears spill down your cheeks. he sits back on his heels, the new angle pushing him deeper as a choked moan slips past your lips, your own hand coming up to cover your mouth. he only chuckles, his voice dripping with amusement- and something darker- as he watches you unravel beneath him. “feels good, doesn’t it?” it’s too much. it’s all too much. the coil in your stomach is winding tight, threatening to pull you over the edge at any second. and heeseung notices. he notices how your thighs began to shake, your moans turning into breathy, desperate whimpers, the way you clench around him. “close?” is all he asks, his eyes dark and lidded as he watches you. your hand slides from the sheet to his arm, desperate to find something to ground yourself as you teeter on the edge. “hee-“ you manage to gasp out, your voice breaking off into a moan as tears slide down your cheeks. he groans at the way you clench around him, his hand finding your clit again, rubbing tight, merciless circles, forcing you closer to the edge. and it’s too much. it builds so fast it makes your head spin. hell, you don’t even feel like you’re real at this point.“come for me, princess,” he groans out, thrusting particularly deep inside you. “let go.”your orgasm rips through you, your back arching off the bed as you cry out, a loud, broken moan barely muffled by your hand. your vision goes white, your body locking up as the strongest orgasm you’ve ever had takes over your body. but he doesn’t stop. his pace doesn’t falter for a second, fucking you through your high, testing your limits as the pleasure shifts into something more intense. your body can barely keep up. you’re sobbing, gasping, your body stuck between pushing him away and pulling him closer. “just a bit longer, baby,” he groans, his hand moving from your clit to your waist, holding you still as his thrusts turn erratic. your eyes roll back, your poor body unable to keep up with the pleasure you’re feeling. and then, a low guttural moan escapes heeseung’s lips, his hips pressing as hard as they can against yours as he finally spills inside you. the sensation of being filled has you gasping, clenching around him as his body trembles with his orgasm. slowly, he lowers himself down, pressing soft kisses to your lips to ease you back to reality, your dazed eyes meeting his as ragged breaths escape your lips. you’re wrecked. “you did so good for me, princess,” he murmurs, his voice breathless as his lips trail soft kisses down your jaw, his warm hands soothing over your trembling thighs, slowly pulling you back down to earth. you can’t even find the words to speak. you only nod, your hand slowly lifting to tangle in his hair, just resting there. he chuckles, leaning up to look at you. a soft smile forms on his lips, his thumbs brushing the tears off of your cheeks. “you okay?” you nod again, your voice wrecked, barely more than a whisper. “yeah.”

he doesn’t say anything, simply watching you. his gaze is so soft, his touch featherlight against your skin. his hips pull back slowly, making you gasp at the sensitivity it sends through you. and then he’s pulling out, his hands moving down to your hips as he sits back on his heels. your hips shift, adjusting to the empty feeling, a shiver running through you when you feel his cum dripping out of you. heeseung pauses, his eyes fixed on the sight, hands gripping your hips tighter as he breathes out, “fuck…” your face heats up, self-consciousness taking over when it finally sets in that you’re completely exposed in front of him. your legs attempt to close, a whine leaving your lips- but heeseung’s faster. his hands grip your thighs, keeping you held open as a smile forms on his lips. “don’t get all shy on me now, baby,” his voice is quiet, his eyes flickering up to yours as you avert your gaze. your hips shift, another soft, embarrassed noise leaving you, but he simply laughs under his breath. “you were just moaning for me a few minutes ago.” “heeseung,” you mumble, dragging out his name as you continue to move beneath him, trying to pull your thighs out of his grasp. your hands attempt to bat his away halfheartedly, but you’re too exhausted to actually push him, watching the way he pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth with a smile while watching your struggle. he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your stomach that has your breath catching, your hands halting their movements. “you were so good for me. look at you,” he mumbles, his eyes dragging over your body slowly, “all fucked out and pretty.” you let out a noise of protest, slapping at his shoulder before your hands come up to cover your face, groaning against your hands. “okay,” he laughs, finally letting go of your legs. “i’ll stop. don’t want you crying again.” you huff, turning your head to hide your face in the pillow, but a smile tugs at your lips. “you’re the worst.” he only laughs again, slipping off the bed, and you hear his footsteps moving away from the bed. “mhm. didn’t hear you complaining earlier.” you let out a dramatic groan, completely turning your body away from him, choosing not to answer this time.

when he finally returns, he sits down on the bed, one hand gently pulling your leg up, exposing you to him again. “heeseung,” you whine, lifting your head to look at him. his eyes flicker up to yours, before looking down again, the wet rag making contact with your legs and making you gasp, everything still so sensitive. “relax,” he whispers, his touch gentle, moving ever so carefully over the parts that make you flinch, your legs shifting with every pass. you nod into the pillow, finally letting your body relax again as your eyes flutter shut, exhaustion slowly taking over your body. “there we go,” he murmurs, tossing the rag aside and settling in bed besides you, pulling the covers over the both of you. his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you closer to him, your body instantly relaxing into his. his fingers rake through your hair, slow and comforting, making you let out a soft sigh, curling further into him. “you good?” he whispers again, like he always have to make sure you’re alright. “yeah,” you you yawn, shifting and closing your eyes. “tired.” you hear a soft, breathy laugh leaving his lips, before he presses a kiss to the top of your head, his fingers resuming their movements in your hair. “go to sleep, y/n.” you nod, letting the beating of heeseung’s heart in your ear guide you into a slumber as sleep lulls you away.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

“one iced coffee, please,” you smile, holding out a ten-dollar bill to the cashier in front of you. she gives you a look, but smiles back, taking the cash anyway. “no hot chocolate today?” you wave your hand dismissively, biting back a giddy smile. “oh, it’s not for me.” she raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push, simply nodding and punching in your order. “alright, then. we’ll have that out soon.” you rock back and forth on your feet, wonyoung and yunjin waiting at a table behind you. once your order is out, you’re walking back to the girls with a bit more pep in your step, holding the cup up to signal you’re ready to leave. you begin to walk out the door, a giddy smile on your lips as you look down at the coffee, before back up- completely oblivious to the look wonyoung and yunjin share. “so, why’d you get an iced coffee?” yunjin asks, tilting her head as she looks at the drink in your hand. “oh, just for someone,” you smile, shrugging lightly as you continue to walk. “you look too happy,” wonyoung teases you, poking your cheek as she watches the smile on your face grow larger, “what happened?” “nothing, guys!” you laugh, pushing wonyoung’s hand away. you continue to walk, making a beeline for the gym. you don’t miss the confused looks they send you as you speed up slightly. “okay, seriously, where are we going?” wonyoung asks, speeding up slightly as she picks up on the direction you’re headed. “the gym? the basketball team is in there right now,” yunjin adds, scrunching her eyebrows. “y/n. y/n? that means heeseung is in there! hello?” you don’t even hesitate when you open the gym doors, the two girls trailing behind you, clearly confused. “y/n. why are we in here?” wonyoung hisses, grabbing your arm as the sound of squeaking shoes and a basketball hitting the floor fills the air.

and then, all the noises slow. the guys spare a glance at you, before doing a double take once they recognize you. because heeseung has talked about you. and they’ve seen you with him. but the moment heeseung sees you, his focused expression shifts. his sharp gaze softens, a smile forming on his face as his feet slow to a stop. he starts moving, jogging over slowly. his shirt is slightly damp, his breathing slightly heavy. “hi, pretty girl,” he smiles, his gaze warmer. wonyoung’s grip on your arm loosens, and you can see her jaw drop from the corner of your eye. “hi,” you reply, holding out the coffee, “i brought you coffee.” he grins, taking the cup and tilting his head. “really? i thought you hated iced coffee.” you bite back a laugh, shaking your head lightly before shrugging. “you don’t.” you watch as his smile shifts into something else. something in his eyes that you can’t process, but he’s looking at you like you placed the stars in the sky. it makes your stomach flip, a blush forming on your cheeks. his hand slips around your waist, tugging you closer as he presses a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. your hand instinctively grabs onto his jersey, tugging him slightly closer, your lips forming into a smile against his. “hello?” you hear yunjin ask, a few guys behind you laughing. “what?” you ask, pulling back from heeseung’s lips, tilting your head with a small smile. “am i not allowed to come say hi to my boyfriend?” silence. until wonyoung squeals, practically yanking yunjin towards her. “i called it!” even heeseung himself seems a bit thrown off guard, his eyes widening a bit before he pulls himself together, a smug grin pulling at the corner of his lips. “oh?” he murmurs, leaning in just enough for you to hear. “say that again?” “damn, y/n,” jake laughs, stepping up besides the two of you and clapping heeseung on the back. “you managed to lock the playboy down.” “so,” jake continues, nodding at the drink in your hand with a shit-eating grin, “care to bring me one of those next time?” you don’t even get to open your mouth before heeseung is speaking. “no.” jake blinks. “i was talking to-“ “still no.” he throws his hands up, turning on his heel and walking away, grumbling out, “forget i asked.” you roll your eyes, suppressing a smile as you look back at heeseung, who simply shrugs at you. he’s insufferable. and he’s yours. 

AFTER FIGHTING FOR THREE DAYS... I GOT IT TO WORK. sorry about the weird formatting at some points, it's the only way i was able to fit this whole fic into one post ^^! also,, did not realize how much i wrote "and then" until i was editing this god damn girl stop sing those words for one second... hope you guys enjoyed !!!!

taglist: @bussolares @w3willris3 @nithxhoon @elairah @fancypeacepersona @talesofthegreatest @jaehoonii @onlyticket-home @cutehoons02 @isagistar @immelissaaa @seongiewon @llearlert @rosepetals09 @cloud-lyy @enhaheart8 @millisvlog @rayofsunshineeee @littlesweettea-aine @evorlaah @kittycatwonie @somuchdard @miraeluv @heewenos @katarinamae @h4niyahcar @aejakeslvr @girlwholovekpop @dearestdreamies

^i tried to tag everyone, but some ppl weren’t coming up so if urs doesn’t work i’m sorry abt that😭

border creds: @uzmacchiato

[minhaemin]

MONEY POWER GLORY -l.hs, p.sh-

Given the opportunity to tackle the biggest headline yet—you knew this would be the breakthrough of your career. Not the breakthrough of your love life.

pairing— athlete!heeseung x journalist fem!reader x athlete!sunghoon

genre: smut minors do not interact, athlete au, athlete rivalry, p with plot, hockey player!sunghoon, basketball player!heeseung

wc: 23.4k

warnings: profanity, toxicity, manipulation, possessiveness, kissing, morally ambiguous characters

smut warnings: unprotected sex, p in v, two sex scenes, praising, dirty talk, degradation, fingering, oral (f rec.), dry humping, body worship, dom!heeseung, dom!sunghoon, light choking, creampies, breeding kink, usage of nicknames (baby, babe, princess, good girl)

lily’s note: after so long it’s finally here!! sorry for it taking a while but i hope you can enjoy it!! also special thanks to @vampsol for making the banner <3

“Our star players”

Forced to stare at the large group picture hanging dead center and with no choice you zeroed in on the two distinct males standing side by side. Neither showing even a crack of a smile as they looked straight ahead.

Something inside of you twisted nastily as you couldn’t seem to switch between eyes from looking at one to the other. When you glanced over to the male on the left, you could see he was sleek, clothing neatly arranged to drape over his body that accented his proportions perfectly.

The slender legs that popped out by the strikes of muscles lining up from his calf all the way up to his knee where a peek of his quads showed hiding beneath the rolled up sweatpants.

The long navy blue sleeved shirt pushed back by his arms resting behind his back with a pumped chest through the fabric. You roamed around his face for a second longer than you’d like to admit to count the specs of mole over his face that the camera managed to pick up.

For the most part, his face was relaxed but what struck you were his blaring eyes that spoke straight to you.

“That’s Park Sunghoon” You felt a jab at your side, “Pretty good looking right” This was able to knock you out of your daze before looking over at your boss smiling at the picture with sparkles in her eyes, “Doesn’t really talk much but his career only goes up from here on out”

You didn’t respond, opting for a quick nod before looking back at the picture to observe the male on right this time. This time he looked more uncomfortable than Sunghoon. Arms were stiff at his side, a clear steer away from the male at his side but he held a sharper yet softer look with his big and round eyes that were filled with a wonder in them that stirred something in you.

His hair was messily disheveled, poking out in different directions but still effortless on camera. The captured sweat glistened from the camera light to show how it slid from his chin and neck, all the way down to his flimsy tank top that outlined his body while he wore baggy basketball shorts that reached his knees.

Your fingers dug into your palm when you noticed the streak muscle dividing his biceps and triceps apart from each other.

“And that’s Lee Heeseung” Your boss’ tone shifted into a heavy sigh with a hint of restriction in it

“More outspoken but keeps more so keeps himself but his career…” She sucked a breath as she stared at the male, “It’s promising. So damn promising” She muttered the last words before clearing her throat and patting your back that woke you up from the daydream you were in

“Let’s see what you make up for those two” You see her toothy grin which caused an unsettling feeling to rest in your stomach but you pushed it aside and gave a tight smile

She retracted her hand away after giving one last pat on your shoulder, not in a comforting reassuring way but more of a warning to not mess up.

“You know it’s a good thing what you’re doing. Choosing to step up when you know this is out of your paygrade” You couldn’t even respond before she turned a heel and walked out without a glance

You jumped from whatever was near as your mouth swished side to side to rid the thought in your mind. You looked back to the large cover page of Lee Heeseung and Park Sunghoon with your name embroidered at the faded corner. Your publication. The soon to be the biggest achievement and success story that came to life that hung for all the office to see it in all its pride and glory.

Two proud aspiring rising stars in the making that you now have the luxury and privilege of getting first hand knowledge on them.

$$$

Biting down harshly on the retractable pen as you watched the clock tick closer to 5:30 in the afternoon. It was well over 30 minutes of waiting and the lack of perception on time cranked something in you.

Your teeth continuously clamped down on the retractable push tugging at it softly as it settled in your mind with being alone with your thoughts for far too long—Being a good person is never too far out of reach for you, but being a good friend and coworker was beyond what you know.

Still you weren’t sure why you decided to cover for your friend and take care of her burden on the catalogue when the time came, especially when it’s far from your original department and way more than your original paycheck.

Perhaps it was the extra need of money you blindly needed and accepted without much thought or the grander possibility of reaching the last push needed to put your name on the map like how you’ve desperately wanted for so long.

Endless possibilities the more you think about it but none of them plausible to satiate you.

However, when you caught sight of the highlighted name on the paper before moving to the file picture of his face. The initial worry faded away as excitement creeped through your veins.

“It's a little risky to be doing that, isn't it?” The voice made you freeze and all goosebumps imaginable rise to coat your skin

Slapping a hand over the paper you were just looking at to see the big eyes that gleamed with a hidden mischief in them, the plop of his hair to the side leaving little room in between for his forehead to show beside a prominent mole to make itself known.

While it may have been a prejudice to expect for him to show up in practice uniform but to your pleasant surprise, he wore fitted clothing that accentuated his height and fit a style different from how he presents himself on the court.

When you looked up to him to catch the big eyes boring right into yours with the gleam of his smirk as he took a stride closer to you. His hand gripped the opposite end of the pen hanging through your teeth, “Let go” He softly said making you realize if you weren’t careful you’d end up like everyone else–slipping and falling deep in the gutter

Your hand gripped the little bare space of the pen left and snatched it with a polite and friendly smile. “Mr. Lee, good evening”

Your voice strained making you cringe at yourself but you needed to be nice even if you were waiting on him. “Very glad you could make it” Heeseung on the other hand picked up on the passive aggressive tone as he remained silent to stare at his hand that once held the pen,

“Management wanted me to come, says it’s good for publicity” He laughed before pulling out the seat in front of you, “Wasn’t much I could do or say to get out of it”

He sucked in his teeth when he took the seat, his index finger tapping against his chin as if he were deep in thought, “I don’t think I’ve heard your name in the sport catalogs though, who else have you interviewed?”

He expected an answer, you could see that from him. But you skipped past it, “Well luckily for you, I won’t take too much of your time” You sorted out the papers in front of you before grabbing your notepad and circling his name at the top

You snuck a glance up to him when you thought he wasn’t looking even when he was, you still jotted down ‘Impulsive or Calculated?’ under his name before fully looking up with a smile to be met with a light frown etched on his face.

“You and I both know that's far from the truth. This is going to take months to cover so you won’t take so much of my time today but soon you will be placed into my weekly schedule just to get insider scoop of me” Heeseung folded his arms and huffed loudly when he slumped down in his seat

You didn’t focus on whatever he was saying instead you reread the questions your supervisor created for you to ask in this interview to ensure the ‘success’ of the story.

“So Mr. Lee why don’t you tell me-” Heeseung cuts you off with a hand up, the frown pulling further down his mouth into a distasteful scowl and your brows knitted in confusion as you looked at him

“Just call me Heeseung and please spare us from all the vague question bullshit”

“Why don’t you just ask me your questions, mhm? What do you want to know about me?” The emphasis of the you in his sentence left you dumbfounded, “Don’t like every writer have their own stuff they want to ask but are forced to follow a script”

You couldn’t even manage to get a word in as he continued. He leaned forward on his elbows and tilted his head to the side with a bright smile that showed all his teeth.

“Let’s make this actually worth our wild so go ahead and ask me the questions I know you have listed out for me and not the ones your boss thinks will do numbers”

It must’ve shown on your face that he nailed it right on the money to leave you like this so speechless but impress nevertheless. The corners of his mouth inched upwards when you wordlessly switched the scripture your boss printed out for you and slipped underneath the pile of paper before scourging for the list he somehow knew you had.

“Knew you had one” He muttered under his breath while he watched you adjust yourself in your seat and mimicked his exact position

Both of you leaned in so close to each other that your breaths fanned over another, a deep stare into each other’s eyes curling his insides in itself.

“You once stated in an interview 4 years ago that you’re to be the greatest living player society has ever seen in a decade. Especially emphasizing with runner up star hockey player Park Sunghoon” The once secured smirk of his faltered, his prominent adam's apple bobbing up and down to the question

With the mention of Sunghoon, Heeseung leaned back on the chair, slightly adjusting himself in it to only awkwardly clear his throat. You watched his every move, noting his body language at the mention of Sunghoon’s name.

“What makes you so sure that you are?”

He closed his eyes and moved his head as if to rack his brain for some type of held back response before he looked at you with a grin, “Stats. Articles. Awards. Common sense?” He shrugged his shoulders like it was the most known thing, “Don’t you think so?”

“Those all come from outside opinions. None of it comes from you and I want to know what you think” He scoffed a smile in response, you were called all kinds of names before blunt, rude, mean, anything you could think of

And yet, it’s your driving force to get what you want.

For Heeseung, a crazed look glimmered over his eye as he folded his arms across his chest before stretching them to the chair and gripping the sides.“I don’t need to think that I am. I know that I am” He let out a toothy grin, “Does that work for you?”

You stared at him for a moment before breaking the eye contact to write down another bullet point under his name, ‘Cocky but maybe for the right reason’

You crossed your legs over each other with a raise of your eyebrow as you pointed your pen pointing towards him, “But if you so claim to be the best, how come you haven’t skyrocketed in popularity unlike competitor Park Sunghoon?” You sucked at your teeth with a tilt of your head to look back at the male ahead

“He seems to be doing fantastic if we’re talking data-wise, he’s been carrying his team to championship success, lined up brand deals left and right to being one of the highest paid athletes this year alone and, his popularity through the roof both inside and outside the country”

“You claim to be the best due to statistical evidence and while yes in your department, you are high up there” You leaned back into your chair further, “But outside of the basketball court, what do you offer?”

The toothy grin he gave you faltered before etching into a more sinister smirk, impressed on the confidence you were emitting. “Is this your way of saying that I bring nothing to the table of what society suspects of me just because I’m an athlete?”

You shrugged your shoulders with a pull of your mouth back to hide your smile, “Not confirming nor denying”

He threw his back in a laugh, “I guess you can say that I don’t allow myself to be molded by society into being another pretty face for them to idolize” Heeseung sighed before moving his head to side making his hair frame out of his eyes, “I have a job to do unlike that hockey player you keep mentioning”

Your gaze narrowed at the hint of venom in his voice to be an athletic rivalry before the corner of your lips tugged up into a sly smile. With your pen gliding over to the bottom of the paper to discreetly scribble a note that you were now sure of, prosperity.

$$$

The bright screen of your laptop burned your eyes for how long you’ve been staring at the empty document. For the time spent in the same spot, just to have nothing was making you irritated and your head pound.

You can’t write a single thing down for either of them. What happened to your touch or maybe it was their personas weren’t as captivating as people made it out to be, especially in the eyes of actual journalism.

There were no hooking starters that would catch anyone’s attention without being repetitive with all their other interviews. ‘Star Hockey Heartthrob Park Sunghoon Sweeps Nations Hearts’ or ‘Lee Heeseung: Not Only Scores Baskets but Also Championships’. All bullshit headlines for the same repeating answers and questions.

All of them are unoriginal and you wouldn’t succumb to that. You groaned loudly as you dragged a hand over your face but the moment you rested your hand back on the keyboard, your phone rang.

You were going to ignore it at first but after the 3rd call you huffed loudly and saw the unknown number calling before finally answering it with an annoyed sigh, “Hello?”

“For a minute I thought you weren’t going to answer me” You pulled your phone from your ear at the smugness bled through the phone and your tensed shoulders softened before letting out a laugh

“Now how did you get my number Heeseung”

“Just a few clicks over here, a little bit over there until I found you. You weren’t that hard to find” Heeseung chuckled and through the on-going line you heard shuffling before he let out a low groan

“Where are you right now?”

“You sure sound eager to know why? Going to keep me company?” His teasing tone made your roll your eyes which he swore he could feel on his end

“Why did you call me?”

A loud hiss from the other side of the call at the standoffish tone you used made your lips curl up to the side, “Ouch aren’t you supposed to be nice and sweet? What happened to the warm greetings”

“I am supposed to be your client”

You let out a scoff loud enough for him to hear, “Well you are calling sometime in the night while I’m trying to work so you’re being a disruption”

“Well I just wanted to call to see how you were doing” He gave a false sweetness to his words which you didn’t believe

“You mean you want to know how the story is coming along, don’t you?”

“Well I mean… I didn’t say that, you put those words in my mouth”

“I just won’t deny or admit anything” Heeseung copied what you said to him during your first meet and you were impressed he even remembered

“Well as we are speaking, there has been a straight line on a blank screen blinking for the past 4 hours so how does that sound for ya?”

“Sounds like you’re making excellent progress in my opinion” You snickered at his comment which made him heartily laugh

You leaned back on your chair with a heavy exhale that his phone managed to pick up, “Not in the absolute slightest”

There was a moment of silence until his voice peaked out in a much softer tone, “Sounds like you need to take your mind off it. Staring at the screen won’t make the story start typing itself”

“Then what do you suggest Heeseung mhm? I don’t think there’s much to do at this time”

“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re talking to me, I know my way around”

“Are you asking to take me out?” You raised an eyebrow and placed your hand under your arm as you turned around in your chair

“If you want it to be then yes. If you don’t want it to be then no”

The seriousness in his tone made you giggle. You tugged up on your bottom lip as your smile slipped on through, “Sure”

And you thought this would mean punctuality, that for someone who cares a lot about time on the court would also have the same urgency outside of it. But having to keep checking the time counting down the seconds until the next minute came, you let out a frustrated huff.

All talk about being on time when he’s late himself.

Noticing the lack of appearance by Heeseung, you rolled your eyes, finding your actions foolish for even coming out this late to meet with him. You turned a heel to head back home when your name was loudly shouted from the side.

Looking over your shoulder, there was Heeseung jogging up to you as he motioned for you to wait.

He watched how you scoffed at him and turned your back at him. He cursed under his breath before quickening his pace to stop in front of you, making you stop in your tracks, “Woah. Woah, where are you going?”

You stared right into his eyes to see the softness and actual apologetic expression he had. Your frown faltered for a second but you stopped from giving in. “You said be here by 12. In case you haven’t noticed it’s about to be 1” You pushed his hands that hovered over your arm in a huff

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” He rushed out in one breath, “My manager called me about having a match tomorrow and I had to work out the details before I could leave” His eyes pleaded at you as his mouth unconsciously form a pout

You stared at him as his lips unconsciously tugged downwards easing into a smile when you let out a breathy sigh with an obvious roll of your eyes to show your annoyance. “Next time be on time” His frown turned upside down

“Next time?” You picked up on the teasing tone and you had to hold back another roll of your eyes again as you poked at his side making him yelp in surprise

He stared at you in shock before bursting out into a laughter that prompted your own smile, “Never had a journalist poke me at my side”

“There’s always a first for everything” You softly hummed as he glanced over to you with a much softer smile

“Yeah… There’s always the start of something new” His voice trailed into a silent hushed, the lull of his head felt light but his body felt heavy

A contrast he didn’t know before but swore he could get use to.

$$$

Heeseung enjoyed it far more than he would like to admire because it was dizzying having his mouth in contact with your skin. He was only supposed to walk you to your front door after bringing you to an underground 24/7 ramen place where there were little to no interactions.

Usually he doesn’t show anyone else but it was the only thing that came to mind and he didn’t expect to have a nice conversation with you that didn’t involve anything about his career. Everything was just about him or you, stories that were forgotten but brought up for the night.

And he told himself he was walking you all the way back to make sure you got in safely when he lives on the whole opposite side but he wasn't sure who leaned into who first but the soft plush of your lips against his cheek wiped all thoughts from his mind.

He screwed his eyes shut, his hands finding your waist as he flushed your body closer to his, molding perfectly to each other. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers playing with the tips of his back hairs as he tilted his head and pressed his lips harder against your skin.

Your soft sounds surrounded the two of you and he was drinking it up. Lack of oxygen being the least concern because now that he’s gotten a taste of you, he doesn’t think he can ever give them up.

Heeseung continued to dig into the flush of your sides in protest when you yanked his hair to pull him away from the repeated bites he gave towards your neck. “Stop biting” You warned but he was too far gone to listen, “I’m serious, I can’t walk around with hickeys all over my neck”

“Then I’ll put them where no else could see them but me” He slurred the words noticing the discoloring onto your skin, “You look so pretty with my marks on you”

Your cheeks burned and you pulled at his shirt but he didn’t budge. He leaned back into you and attached his mouth to your jaw, trailing to the bone until he was at your cheek.

Your heart rate was through the roof, fingers roughly tugging at the stretched shirt when he neared your lips. You turned your head away, throwing it back in a sultry gasp. Heeseung pulled away from the corner of your mouth and looked at you with surprised eyes

“Let’s move this inside” He mumbled between the open kisses on your neck before opening your door and guiding you in while you yanked your keys out of the lock right before he closed the door with his foot

“You’re not wasting time, are you?” You giggled when he hooked his arms under yours, you felt him shake his head as you pulled him further into your place

“Why would I? It’s you” Your heart fluttered harshly against your chest, you didn’t know why but you were too caught up in something else that you moved past him

You yelp when your body is met with the table, you peered over your shoulders to see your discarded laptop opened with papers scattered all around it. You were going to move out of the side when his hand extended out and closed your computer shut, “You won’t be needing that for now” He chuckled, his hands moving in to the corner, the papers scattering to your floor before he pushed your body onto the table

Slotting himself in between your legs clasping them around his lower back keeping him in place. “Don’t worry babe, I’m not going anywhere”

“Good” You dragged his collar, he yelled at the roughness but when you licked a stride over his adam apple his body became pliant on top of you

You hissed the more his fingers dug into your sides, a grip so tight that you swore you could feel him poking inside—ironically. “Heeseung”

He hummed when you called out his name, “What happened baby?” He chuckled darkly into your ear leaving goosebumps to rise on your face

You rocked your hips upwards to meet his. You moaned when his dick rubbed against your clothed self, you couldn’t stop, too caught up in the feeling you continued to rock your hips harder and faster.

Heeseung groaned each time you grazed him with your pussy. It was so sweet, so warm, so wet. “Drenching my pants there baby”

Wrapping your arms over his shoulder to bury your head in the crook of his neck to hide the embarrassment. The tight grip at your waist faded away, you pitifully whined making Heeseung laugh at your need.

He gripped the edge of the table rocking his body forwards to meet your weak thrust. Your fingers dug into his back when droplets of sweats landed onto your chest. Each push of his cock into your clothed self left you moaning with a care in the world.

“Need you- Please” You tried to pull his shirt up but he forced your arms off around him and planted them up next your head, you stared at him with wide eyes when stopped his incomplete thrust

“Don’t get frustrated with me, you started this” When you were going to complain, you sucked in a sharp breath at the harsh grind against your body, “Now we’re going to end it”

He rubbed himself all over your clothed core, the juts near your clit making you wail as he continued to reluctantly shove into you. The bulge pushed through the restraints of your pants and underwear to poke between your folds.

Throwing your head back onto the table with a hard thud, your back growing stiff and aching as you attempted to match his tempo to ultimately fail.

You’ve had your share of hookups before to relieve the buildup but nothing compared to this.

“Fuck I can feel you fluttering around me” Heeseung groaned loudly, the hands that held your arms up transferred to one head as he pinned them above your head while his other hand palmed over your clit

“Heeseung!” You squealed in his name withering under his touch, your legs growing weak around his body but jolted his body forward when you tried to pull away

“Don’t fucking stop- Give it to me” He rooted his lower half connected to yours, your fingers scratched the back of his hand, red streaks left in its wake because of you, “Come on baby”

Your grinds grew fervent against his rocking body, the stimulation making you hyper-aware of everything along the spews coming from him when his plunges grew messy.

“Who knew that you’d fucking love this” He laughed, a dark one that made your insides scream more for him, “Rubbing yourself all over me like some desperate virgin”

You shake your head but the moans that slipped past your swollen lips from how much you bit on them would say otherwise. “No? You're a good girl?”

Nodding at his question, he chuckled before rubbing harder down on the bundle of nerves. Moving your body side to side as you felt a growing bubble in your abdomen, you knew what it meant and Heeseung did too.

“Then fucking come like one”

Your screwed eyes shut mouth falling slack as you rut harder against his clothed cock until you arched off the table, your loudest moan ripping out of you. Heeseung muttered ‘fuck’ when you held him closer to you—using him to get yourself off even more.

His slender fingers unbuttoned your pants and fiddled with the zipper to slip into them and when he found the swollen pulsing bundle of nerves, he grinned wildly, his cheeks hurt from how wide it was. He loosened his hand holding your wrist.

Instantly, you clawed at his back when he discarded one artifact to rub over the thin layer covering your clit. You mewled weakly, each jerk over your body causing more friction in between. “Wanted to help you out” The fallacious innocence contradicted his actions but who were you to complain?

The sensitiveness made you grow pliant under him, the movement of his slow rocking hips and working fingers made your nails push past his shirt and to his skin that you were sure would leave indents.

Too aware and dissociated, you felt the tingling feeling in your lower stomach, an ache growing in you of a need to be filled. “Heeseung. Heeseung. Heeseung” You chant his name like it was the only thing you know

And it made his heart hammer out of his chest, the weak call of his name leaving your lips made him grin when he huffed a laugh directly into the shell of your ear. “Say my name baby”

However, the moment stopped and he ripped his hand out of your pants and put as much distance as possible from your moving lower half.

“Heeseung!” You frustratedly yell and lazily lift your head to see his wicked grin

“Can’t have you coming twice just like that, need to feel it around my cock” The laugh made you frown but inside of you felt giddy, excitement coursing throughout your body

“Then do something about it” You snapped but you yelped when he pushed his legs off of him and hooked his fingers under your loosened pants and panties, swiping you of them in one go

Attempting to cover the new bare exposure but before you could fully close your legs, he grabbed your gunner's thigh and bared you to him which you didn’t protest. He underestimated himself big time now that he was faced with your glistening folds, shimmering by the dim lamp.

“Looks like you won’t even need prep…” He sighs heavily, the pad of his thumb rubbing over your skin, your cheeks burned with how focused he was on you, “So pretty”

“Heeseung” You whined using your hands to cover your face and he laughed, his hand stretching out and peeling them away to see you

“Yeah… Absolutely gorgeous” He told when looking straight into your eyes

Your face dropped watching how his eyes flickered between your mouth and eyes. You nervously gulped, your hands resting on his shoulders, fiddling with the shirt before tugging upwards on it.

His shirt hiking up, he smirked when he noticed what you were doing. “You could’ve said so” He murmured when his hand ran up your side and under your shirt, “But I’m pretty sure it works both ways”

When his roughed yet soft hands touched your skin, you hissed. Like fire burning, you yanked his shirt higher and pulled it over his head while he did the same. A silence surrounded the two of you when you pushed yourself up on your elbows and he backed away.

Heeseung admired your figure. Only left in your bra, he felt all thoughts thrown out the window to be nothing. The relationship that was meant to be strictly professional was squished to the ground. He reached out and played with the strap of your bra, the elastic running under his hand as he slid it off.

You watched his movements, not daring to move an inch while he did all the work. He reached behind and unclasped your bra with no hesitation, instantly the undergarment slipped down your arms, exposing your unmarked chest to him.

Without a moment to waste, he attached his mouth to your chest, sucking into the soft nipple before running his tongue over it, hardening instantly. Heeseung fondled with the other, his fingers twisting the nub making your jolt, “Heeseung” You meekly sigh as he nibbled on the flesh

Spit accumulated at the corners of his mouth as he messily made out with your tit, he bit harsher making you squeal but not moving from his mouth. Heeseung gripped at your breast tightly, quickly getting lost in the feel of the plush squishing his face.

You jerk harshly when he bites down on your breast and you look at him with a frown while he looks up at you with gleaming eyes. “Look even nicer with my marks”

“I told you I’d leave it places only I can see”

You roll your eyes but the initial thought faded out when he pulls at your hips to the edge of the table, “Turn around for me”

Not daring to go against him in worry that he’d leave you high and stranded, you complied and stood up on wobbly legs before turning your body around. Yet, the moment you did, he carefully pushed you down to the wood. Your face squished on the side as you gripped the edges.

Unable to see him, your heart pounded into the table but the air got caught in your throat when he gripped one side of your ass and pulled it up, exposing the glistening of your pussy to him.

You mewled loudly when he took a long stride up, collecting the leaking juices onto his taste buds. “You even taste sweet too” You shivered from his rumbling voice, “So fucking sweet”

Your nails dug into the wood beneath you. Anticipation grew by the second, you tried to peer behind to see him but he pressed his palm flat on your upper back, his free gripping your hips as he swallowed up your juices. Your knees caved into each other that you would’ve fallen if it weren’t for the table holding you up.

The obscene noises filled the room, each drag of his tongue caused an enormous sensation in you. Softly wailing his name every now and then whenever he keeps his face buried in your cunt, not letting up until you weakly kick him away.

Loud pants followed by his chuckle made you hide your face into the table disregarding the discomfort but when you heard the buckles of his belt, your heart raced and legs squished together.

“Right here with you” He attempted to reassure and block out the drop of his pants to the ground, you gripped harder on the edge while squeezing your eyes shut

Heeseung grabbed the base of his length and dragged the tip over your folds coating and smeared your arousal everywhere on you and him. You moaned, feeling it tease your hole, the small stretched nearly enough for you to cum alone, embarrassingly.

He groaned, feeling the tightness wrapping around him for a split second before rubbing his length entirely over your core, poking your clit at the same time. “Heeseung, stop messing around”

The grits of your teeth he laughed and pulled away and you held back a protest and hit your lip to keep silent. “No need to be rude” He smacked the roof of his mouth with his tongue, “So impatient and desperate for me to fill up your lonely pussy huh?”

“What is the magic word?” He hovered over your back, his bare chest in close contact with your skin

You turned your head to side and looked at him through the corner of your eye, his bright side grin with a shadow casting over his eyes, “Fuck me please”

He didn’t respond to your plea and he pushed himself off your body, your bottom lip quivered as you tried to say something but a loud moan ripped out of you when his tip pushed past the rim of your pussy. The wood scratched under your nails as you planted yourself from the length pushed into you.

“Good girl… Taking it all for me. So fucking good to me” Heeseung groaned stabilizing himself with hands on your hips as he sinked you back onto his cock

Heeseung had to constantly remind himself to go easy, to go slow. But the way that you hugged him, sucked him in so perfectly, nearly made him lose his mind.

A stretch that you’ve never felt before, being split apart on a cock, let alone Heeseung’s.

“Damn I can stay inside of you forever” He loudly groaned as you fluttered around him but the loudest noise you’ve heard from yet filled the room when he bottomed out

Your body squished harder onto the table, comfortability being thrown out of the window as you were only able to focus on his weak twitches inside him. Your walls tried to get adjusted to the stretched and pull by him

“M-Move” You meekly nodded your head and that was the green light for Heeseung

Moving his hips slowly, not pulling away so much but enough to make you feel like you were almost empty before pushing back in. Each thrust made you shake and legs weak. “Doing so for good for me baby” He praised which made you clench around him

Immediately noticing the bodily reaction, he dug his fingers deeper into your flesh, “Like when I praise you for taking my cock?” He darkly snickered when you responded in a mewl, “Or would you like when I say it was like you were made to take me?” A sudden harsh thrust filled you and jolt your body harder into the board you were bent over

A switch flipped off in your mind, a moan ripping out of you only let to blab incoherently which made Heeseung laugh at your state, “Think it’s the second one” He whispered loud enough for you to hear

Heeseung quickly found his rhythm. A slow but powerful one that poked your inside, molding and shaping them only for him, “Only I can make you feel like this- Only me”

The possieveness of his words flew over your head as you rapidly nod your head but as he pistons his cock past your gummy walls, he abruptly stops. “Say it”

“W-Wha-“ You breathlessly said but when he began to drag his cock out, everything in your mind snapped into place, “Only you can! Only you please”

Your pleading went straight to his head and his chest lightly pumped to only jerk his hips forward. His tip poked your g-spot in one that made you slightly scream. You bit down on your lip to keep yourself quiet but Heeseung wrapped his hand at the back of neck, his hot breath fanning your ear, “Don’t keep quiet. Make some fucking noise”

He dragged himself out to push himself back in without a proper pace. It was clear that you would take it—which you did and were not complaining. Each plunge into your soapy self, the wet and warm confinement something he knew he could no never part from.

You focused on how he slid in with ease, your arousal making it nearly perfect to accommodate him. Each drag making you dizzy with pleasure Your hands balled the table, not caring the scratches you might’ve been leaving behind.

And you didn’t hold back. Releasing every noise that vibrated through your chest and out made sure Heeseung could hear it perfectly. “That’s a good girl” He sprawled his hand into your lower back while tightening his grip at your neck, “My fucking good girl”

“Heeseung! Please” He laughed at the blabs that mixed with your noises, his pace irregular but just perfect to make sure you knew it was him, that he was left in your mind and body

“Please what?” He hummed and you weakly waved your hand behind

“More”

He looked at you with a glint flashing over his eyes. You weren’t able to see it but you could feel the way he was looking at you. He laughed, your wish was only for him to fulfill, “So desperate”

Heeseung held back strained grunts but some slipped through every now and then when you clenched around him just right, “Be a needy girl then”

“Going to let me ruin you for no one else. Breed your pussy that you’ll be leaked from hour- no days, maybe even weeks” Those words spewed made you whined and pitifully nod your head in need, you blabbed incoherent words and yet, he strung them along to perfect sentences

“So no matter how far you go, you’ll always think of me. I’ll be right inside of here” Heeseung moved his palm from your back to your stomach, pushing down making you feel his cock ramming into you

Your moans melted and muffled by the table as he pressed deeper, “Going to fill you up so much baby” He chuckled while letting out strained grunt, his pace erratic and messy, “Take it, take it for me”

Heeseung clawed your back while he slammed his hips harshly before releasing a guttural moan when you convulsed around him, coating his shaft in your release which promoted his own orgasm.

You dragged your fingers at your table in a loud moan when he spilt into your velvet wall, painting them white of him. You faintly gasp trying to regulate your breathing, to hands that hold both of you peeling off your body.

Giving a few last push, his tip pushing his own release into the inside crevices that he now resided in. Your mouth fell open, letting out quiet moans as a drowsiness took over you.

Your eyes felt heavy and were going to close but snapped open when Heeseung slid out completely without warning. The emptiness is not evident due to the accumulated release but when you weakly turned to your side to face him after everything. He gave you a warm smile and extended his hands out to you.

“What are you-“ You shut your mouth when you catch sight of the gold necklace he always wore everywhere, seeing it in every photograph of him now resting in your chest

The cold metal touched your skin and you looked down as best as you could to see the gold necklace dangling off your neck, “Heeseung…”

“You look so pretty like this… You are always so beautiful” He admired the afterglow you were left in, marked all over with his hickeys, sweat and spit lathered all over your body, “It looks better on you than me”

It was the difference in how he was a few moments ago, he planted a soft kiss on your bare shoulder, he traced up to your marked neck, “It’s yours now”

You admired the necklace through the haze of your mind, allowing your neck to be kissed up by him, the glimmer it had even through the pale lighting. “It’s real gold so take care of it for me” You heard Heeseung chuckle and your heart fluttered at the thought

His gold necklace is now yours.

$$$

Playing with the chain around your neck. Tracing over it made you smile. There was an unexplainable glow to you that others talked about but you couldn’t see it yourself but certainly could feel it.

A feeling lighter than what you are used to, the weight on your shoulders lifted with an unexplainable swirl washing over you.

However the moment didn’t last long when you were snapped out of the daze by a chilling voice. Dropping the necklace and adjusting your collar, you look up to see Sunghoon looming over the table.

“Mr. Park” You smiled but came out more strained than relaxed making him frown at the forceful gesture, it was like the first smile you gave him and it irked him

Your first meeting with him when you were assigned to meet him in a specific location away from peering eyes. It was obvious for high class people, an escape from the dazzling public light. And you knew this because one of your co-workers covered the infamous high end nightclub.

While you knew yourself to be a bit early than the mutual time set. It gave you some clarity of your mind and to settle yourself properly. The differences were subtle between the two athletes but they were there, there’s no denying it.

You looked down to the papers in your arms, the slow jazz music filled the venue. Your eyes reread the similar printed scripture with your boss’ name written in the corner for credit, a tugged of your lips pulled downwards when the memory of your interview with Heeseung filled your mind.

Shaking out of that thought, your freehand hovered the material before crumbling it into a wrinkled ball because if it was out of sight, it would be out of mind.

The soft call of your last name made you peer over your shoulder to see that no profile photo or any photo that had his face plastered on it did not amount to the sliver of justice needed of how he looked in real life.

Great beauty, sculptured face littered with moles, prominent eyebrows that popped, a jawline that could cut through anything that stood in his way and sharp eyes that had a sweetening feel under it.

Slightly disheveled hair pushed back by the squiggly headband as beads of sweat covered his forehead. He wore a thin long sleeve that rested perfectly on his broad shoulders which appeared wider in person than what you’ve seen on screen the few times you tuned in.

“Mr. Park” You spread a polite smile which wasn’t reciprocate by him as he only motioned you to follow the unexpected leading host

With every step you took following the host, you became aware of the watchful eyes and Heeseung’s words flashed through your mind ‘A pretty face for them to idolize’ and suddenly your own list of questions began to sparkle.

The fallen smile slowly rose back when the host bid goodbye, leaving Sunghoon to move the chair out for you to sit in, “Thank you” You muttered as he pushed it in for you but still no response from him

Your eyes followed as he walked over to the seat in front of you. As he sat down, you realized his mouth has not moved from the thin line nor has he even properly acknowledged you.

However, when you were going to go through with your regular routine, it was like a switch flipped and he extended a hand out for you with a fake smile, “Pleasure to meet you” You accepted it with a nod of your head

“Thank you for being willing to meet with me” Your notepad flipped over with his name plastered on the header with your pen at hand, “Let’s begin, shall we?”

Sunghoon nodded as he adjusted himself, hands raked over his hair to get rid of the headband, allowing his hair to fall down to its original flowy state, “If you’ll forgive my poor attire. I am just coming back from practice”

Your brows knitted as you looked up at him. It clicked in your mind when he spoke a semi-long sentence that his responses were rehearsed. Strategic. Unnatural and purely planned.

You expected this type of interaction considering how this would not be his first and most certainly won’t be his last interview of his life.

Waving your hand your smile never hesitates in hopes of being a reassurance, “I don’t mind. Does your practice usually run this long?” He nods pulling at the long sleeve in an attempt to make himself more presentable

You softly hummed before writing down ‘hard worker and ambitious but no clear goal’ in the empty column under his name. “Let’s start with your current succession of winning the championship alongside your team yet again this year” You decided to start off slow and easy instead of jumping right into it, while you may be working to get insider scoop, you weren’t a monster

“Tell me about the preparation that went into it”

He corrected his posture and tried to mimic your heartily smile with his own. “Well of course, I couldn’t have done it with my team. We were able to-”

You quickly stop him with a raise of your hand. While you were aware that there was work to be done to even get a dent in the barrier of his persona that masked the real him. These responses of teamwork will not ruin you from perfecting this story.

“I meant about you actually” You leaned back into the chair, your notepad landing on your lap, “I want to know the preparation you went through” You put emphasis in the you in your sentence

“The good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between” You lightly scoffed, his eyes flickering between you and the raising pen, “If I wanted the generic answer, I wouldn’t have asked to meet. I could’ve just looked up online of another interview you did and get the same response you were just going to give me”

Sunghoon stared at you wide eyed, he was stumped by your words. He tried to reel back in the unbalanced atmosphere, his mouth opening and closing for some proper deviation but nothing came to mind.

He took a deep breath and let out a loud chuckle only to find your hard gaze still on him. Even past the facade he’s always put up when he did interviews and was in the public’s eyes, he suddenly felt stripped bare by you and he only met you not even 10 minutes ago.

“I do suppose I give similar answers from time to time” The attempt to lift the heavy mood failed but he hastily looked when you sighed

“You do it all the time actually” You bit your tongue and mumbled a breathless curse when unable to catch yourself from saying your thought, “I’m sorry that was rather straight-forward of me to say”

“It’s your job to be” Sunghoon answered leaving you shocked but it faded away when another thought creeped into your mind

“Then can I divert from these questions for a moment?” Immediately picking up confusion written on his face, you nibble on your lip and look down at your lap, “Well you see, there’s always been talks about your career before hockey” You eased into the topic before looking up at him to instantly he visibly tensed when he heard your sentence

Bingo.

“You were a renowned figure skater- So close to joining the national team but suddenly declared your departure with the words ‘Of wanting to broaden your horizon’ and left without another word” Your elbows perked onto the table as you inched forward, “Just what prompted that decision?”

The straight shoulders and flickered eyes made an almost sinister smile ghost your face at the wonders, the perfect posture and jaw clenching deflated to nothing by your questioning.

His gaze hung low to look up through his eyelashes, hit teeth nibbling on his bottom lip as he wearily smiled, “That’ll be for a later time if it does come”

His response made your anticipation drop to the pit of your stomach seeing the avoidance of the question. “Alright” You sadly hummed, crossing over your legs to glance down at the listed question

You smiled once you circled back on the topped bolded question, “Let’s talk about rivalries then”

The knit of his thick shaped eyebrows in even more confusion made you grin before tapping at your notepad with your pen without a care, “Star basketball player Lee Heeseung”

Right when the name fell from your lips his once tensed shoulders slouched, eyes wavering around as he was diminished to nothing now because of the mentioned name.

“There were rumors that were later confirmed that the two of you used to practice in the same ice skating rink while you both were in your previous respective sports before ultimately switching careers”

“With this information there was always one big question floating around” You stopped for a second taking notice of his reaction of each words you said

The evident clenching of his jaw that caused his cheeks to slightly hallow in, his fist clenching on his lap under the table, looking anywhere else but at you, and you took in everything he did.

Awkwardly clearing his throat, anxiety on the rise as he felt you inching closer to him, your body nearly folding over the table, “Did the two star players ever cross paths?”

However, expecting a long awaited response to your question that no one else dared to ask, you were met with an abrupt snap, “Nope. We never did” You jerked back by the sharp sternness in his answer

Sunghoon looked up after he responded. His approach was aggressive and not at all what his managers remind him time and time again to act like during interviews. He silently cursed under his breath but when he caught sight of you expecting a scowl, he was met with your grin.

Your pen twirled between your fingers before the tip met with your picked up notepad, discreetly writing down a bullet point. The grin plastered on your face turned into a toothy one as you read over the new note under his name that you circled twice for emphasis, liar.

And that's how you remembered the hockey player. You left abruptly right after that and he tried to drag more questions out of you knowing that if he left it at that, his managing team would hate him.

But you didn’t spare him any mind, only saying how you’ll reach out to schedule the next meeting and left him alone in the nightclub where all eyes were watching him.

And now this time, he swore he would not make the same mistake twice. He couldn’t mess up, not when he already received an earful when he told what happened during the first time.

So when looking around the empty nightclub for sight of you, he notices in the deadzone it is in the afternoon until he spots you buried deeply in paperwork and an empty seat beside you.

His management told him to butter you up to make sure you don’t spill anything about the first meeting but the thought of having to do so wasn’t repulsing but rather nerve wracking.

While it felt wrong to do so, he didn’t want to jeopardize his career over it.

Gulping down the lump his hand hovered over the seat as he could feel your strong gaze on him which ultimately led to him switching to the seat in front of you.

Your eyebrows raised when he opted to choose to the different seat but you looked past it and dusted off your clothing like you were waiting decades for him to show, “I’m glad you managed to meet me again despite your busy schedule”

“I know your rigorous training must be tiring-” You were suddenly cut off but Sunghoon chimed in promptly cutting you off

“How come you were smiling so much?” The tone of falsed sternness but filled with hesitation, you looked up from your notepad in surprise

He never looked away from you and your insides twisted in themselves. “What?” You knitted your brows as you awkwardly laughed, closing and opening your mouth before straining out a fake smile that he managed to see right through, “Oh uh… It’s nothing”

You opened your mouth, “You should smile more often” He rushed out to awkwardly clear his throat, “I mean more genuine smiles, not the fake interview ones” You closed your mouth when he stopped talking

For the first time you’ve seen Sunghoon nervously shying away from your gaze. You blinked trying to regain your senses, your hand curled tighter around the pen, knuckles whitening in the process before loosening around it.

“Well I definitely will take that into consideration” Sunghoon smiled softly to himself when he caught that in the corner of his eye. Slowly adjusting himself to fully face you, “So as I was saying about training regime, how are you and your team-“

“I’m so sorry to interrupt once again- I know we just started but…” Your brows knitted in the middle to usher him to finish, “I was actually thinking about what you were saying last time and I think you should ask the non generic questions”

He paused for a moment before continuing, “I just think it will be able to prove a little more of a insight on who I am as a person”

Excitement isn’t a big enough word to describe the feeling. A miracle was laid upon you and handed to you on a silver platter, just like a dream.

“Well I’m glad you’re entrusting me to handle that“ Your smile that he talked about came plastering on your face making his smile grow, “I promise to capture the essence of you as much as I can!”

“I won’t let you down” Sunghoon softly chuckles at the light hearted demeanor you showcased

A switch flipping inside of your head to a new side that was held away from peering eyes and his heart thumped against his chest realizing that he was able to catch a glimpse of it.

You suddenly seemed far more interested, your undivided attention on him while you didn’t even need to look down at the paper of question, “Was there any significant moment that molded you into becoming what you are today? Such an admired athlete”

The question went straight into it and Sunghoon cleared his throat, his eyes jumping around as his focus shifted until landing onto you. He gulped and you watched his Adam’s apple bobbed. Your jaw clenches suppressing a smile as you look at him sighing softly.

“It might’ve been the first time I first stepped on the ice ever in my life. I think that is when I knew I was meant for life on the ice” A shiver ran up your spine as you listened to the rawness of his emotions

He never spoke of his experience like this. All the dedication you did, reading all the interviews he did, never once did he describe it as such.

“Do you miss figure skating?” Your voice was softer than before and Sunghoon couldn’t help an unexplainable feel in him

He hummed softly while nodding, “There’s times where I do miss. It was what I’ve known my entire life”

“Do you regret the transition?” The question made him ponder, you saw the conflict written on his face as he remained silent, his fiddles with his fingers but tried to stop himself

You noticed his movements and quickly wrote a note about it before dropping your pen and paper down to extend a hand towards him. He jumped when you softly pat his hands. He looks up to you smiling softly at him,“You don’t have to say if you don’t want to”

Sunghoon hiccups and quickly pulls back his hands and laces them together, coughing a soft apology to hold back the blush daring to paint his cheeks.

You lean back on the chair as you wait for him to give the green light to continue. And when he does by looking at you, his eyes spoke more words than anything said before.

“Is there anyone you want to thank for making you reach this point besides your own willpower?” Reading the next question with the small note of L.H right next to it, you were reaching into the abyss hoping for a catch

While Sunghoon was grateful you moved on from the topic of ice skating and didn’t push any further. Others journalists or interviewers would’ve pushed to get anything but not you and that warmed his heart.

“Of course it wasn’t only me but my family and everyone else who supported me when I didn’t believe in myself” It was easy to be thankful for that but he pauses, his eyes saddening at a thought.

“There was an old childhood friend of mine that I lost contact with who really helped me. He-” Sunghoon licks his lips and stares off into the distance

While you were only able to guess the possibility of it being Heeseung, deep down you were praying that it was him. Your leg bounced up and down as you waited for him to continue. “He really led me to the path that I am on now, if it weren’t for him, I would’ve been so lost”

“I am forever grateful for him”

“Do you want to dedicate something to him? In case he happens to read the article?” You cautiously ask to not scare him

Sunghoon stayed quiet for a moment before nodding his head, he leaned in forward and you did the same. When he was close enough to you, he caught a glimpse of the necklace you wore.

Noticing the shimmer of the gold chain peeking out from your shirt his eyebrows knitted at the familiarity but brushed it away..

“I just want to say I hope he’s doing well and that… He enjoying what he’s doing” He softly hummed and pleasantly smiled

Through the smile you see the pointed teeth like fangs sticking out and you look at them for a moment, “You know you should take your own advice and smile more often”

“You have a nice smile too Sunghoon” Quickly turning his gaze towards you, feeling the sweetness and sincerity in your words that his cheeks burned and his heart harshly thump against his chest

$$$

Another night passed, another morning spent with Heeseung.

You have started to grow far too accustomed to this cycle that it would be weird to not see him 4 nights out of the week till sunrise, especially in your bed.

Today is no different from any other day. The fluff of his hair tickled your neck and you giggled softly, trying to push him away. The sticky body feeling made you shiver but he only pressed himself closer to you.

“Heeseung” He only hummed when you whined his name

The calloused hands ran up and down your side, you could feel the smirk radiating off of him as he placed a soft kiss on your skin. You could feel his mouth trailing up your neck to your jaw. He traced over the bone before inching closer to the corner of your mouth.

“I like it when you say my name like that. Say it again for me baby” He slurred his words

But the loud ring of your phone distributed the moment instantly and you immediately peeled your body away from him making his body topple onto your bed at the lack of you supporting him.

He buried his head into your mattress in a frustrated sigh but sunk his head onto your pillow as his arms slipped underneath them to close his eyes from sleepiness.

You sat up to straighten your posture seeing the familiar number and answered it. “Hello?” You softly whisper wondering just why your job was calling you on your day off

Heeseung peeked one of his eyes open to watch your back facing him. He could see his mark littered all over your shoulder down your body and he proudly smiled but when your shoulders tensed, his smirk faltered.

It wasn’t until you let out a heavy sigh and the grip on your phone was painfully tight that your knuckles lost their color. The soft shuffling behind you and you let out a sharp exhale when you felt the warming presence behind you.

Heeseung laid his head onto your shoulder, you could feel him looking at you with curiosity but you ignored it to focus on the hung up call.

“Work is calling me in, something about an emergency meeting” You grumbled under your breath not liking the urgency that was used from your boss during the call

Heeseung noticed and ran a hand up and down your arm to help calm you, “Doesn’t sound so bad I mean do you have to go now?” He dragged the have in his sentence

The scowl on your face twitched upwards, feeling his roughed calloused hands roaming your bare skin to your stomach before swatting it away, “Yes I do, didn’t you hear it’s an emergency meeting”

“But I have an emergency myself” The slur pout of his voice made you finally peer to look at him

Big pleading eyes looking up at you, a light pout on his face as his hands run softly across your stomach as if it were to get you to stay. You watched how his head slowly rose to yours, you smiled and closed your eyes.

Heeseung stopped when he noticed and softly smiled as he dragged you closer to him, his breath fanning over yours but when his lips grazed your, you turned the other away making his mouth land on your cheek, “Have to go” You mumble before pushing yourself off your bed

“At least return my shirt if you’re going to leave me” Heeseung huffed and you turned when he called out to you, you fiddled with the hem of the shirt

“If you say so” Heeseung watched as you teasingly raise the shirt to expose your stomach and dampening panties, he smirked when he caught your hungry gaze

“You’re going to be the death of me” He threw his head back in a laugh but you remained looking at him, “Or maybe the downfall of me”

You chuckle at his choice of words as you quickly rip the shirt over your head before crumbling it at hand and launching it at his face, “Well at least you won’t be mine”

You didn’t worry about having to see Heeseung out knowing he would find himself out like how he always does when the moment was done and time called for either of you.

It was just more often than not, it was always him leaving first but now it was you and each step you took was sharp and purposeful when you entered the office.

Everyone turned their heads the moment you walked through the door. A stoic face but a thumping against your chest made you feel prideful. You smiled at coworkers but you saw their faltering gaze from you to the floors and hushed whispers filled the room and suddenly the excitement within you died out.

When you reach your boss’ office, you softly knock to hear ‘come in’ and when you do you weren’t sure what to expect but seeing your friend, the very co-worker whose job you were filling in for, sitting up straight with a bright smile.

She cheerily called your name and stood up to embrace you which you didn’t expect. You stood there with wide eyes and hovering arms before lightly patting her back with an awkward laugh, “What the- I thought you were going to be out for the rest of the year”

“Time was just in my favor” She gleamed happily but you wondered what this meeting with her and you meant now

Why did her return need your involvement? But your question wasn’t answered fast enough to your liking but you knew your boss hated to be rushed more than anything.

“Both of you sit, this isn’t a reunion, I called you both here because there’s more important things to be discussed before you two chit chat like old times” Your boss cleared her throat before rising from her chair

You both took the seat beside each other in front of her and looked at her as she walked in front of her desk with a loud sigh and finger pinched in between her nose bridge. “Now normally you know once it’s someone’s story it’s their stories, end of discussion”

Your heart began slowing down in beats to drop to the pit of your starch when stringing the words together. “But under the circumstances that this was originally her story and her department” Your boss looks over to your co-worker before over to you with a tight smile

“Your replacement is no longer needed so from here on out, you both will return to your original posts and work on your respective projects”

While your friend happily cheered to be officially back and take over her righteous project of the rising two athletes. You deflated, a ringing growing louder in your ear that wouldn’t leave you even longer after you stepped out of the room.

Your jaw clenched and your fingers dug into the flesh of your palm while your friend shook your shoulders in anticipation, “Well tell me all about them? What are they like? Is Sunghoon as handsome as they say?”

“What about Heeseung, is he standoffish? I heard his performance was top tier” You snapped your head at her as the last sentence was as clear as day when you heard it

“What?” Your face contorted and you saw how she hesitantly stepped back noticing the strong gaze

You sighed and dragged a hand down your face, “Sorry… I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay” She cuts you off with a rub of your shoulder, “I didn’t mean to steal back the story… I am super grateful you stepped up and took over for me when I couldn’t do it”

“But hey think about it now! It’s no longer your burden to carry” While the words meant to assure you only made the bubbling seething worse as you grit a smile

It should be your burden to carry but you don't want to think of the greatest loss of your career in the matter of a few hours.

$$$

‘Fertilizers are the new way of emotional expansion not only for your garden but oneself’

Simply seeing the poorly written title you snatch it from the copy machine and crumble it into a ball and throw it into the nearest trash in frustration. You tried to block out all the gossiping chatter that everyone suddenly seemed to have now that the star athletes story was no longer yours.

As you stare at the trash cash, you close your eyes to shakily inhale and exhale deeply with the repeating words of calm. calm. calm in your head. You walk back to the copy machine and press the button and antagonizaily wait for the entire catalogue to print out.

You aimlessly stared at the accumulated stack of papers before aligning it perfectly and slamming down to staple them together. Deeming it good enough for the lack of effort you put into it, you walked into your boss’ office not caring for her lack of absence and placed it on her desk.

But when you opened the door to leave, Heeseung’s face greeted you. You stumbled on your feet staring right at him while he loomed into the office without a word, his eyes set on you.

“Mr. Lee now hold on” You could hear your boss from behind but she stops when she see you in there

Your mouth moved but no sound came out as you didn’t dare focus on Heeseung. It had been a few weeks since you last contacted him of Sumghoon for that matter after purposefully ignoring his calls and messages ever since you lost the story.

There was no point of connection so why bother entertaining it anymore than what it was. You saw the warning gaze your boss gave to leave now and she’ll have a word with you later but a faint knock made everyone’s head turn to the door.

You stop your mouth from dropping seeing Sunghoon walking in with a bouquet of flowers and a soft smile but it falters at the sight of you and Heeseung.

“Mr. Park! Oh dear you both are early for your meetings… Please Please come in” Your boss welcomes the new addition and you tried to slip past but Sunghoon blocks your way in the name of an accident

“Sorry” He mutters and you don’t say anything and let him through first with hopes of being able to escape completely oblivious to lingering gaze Heeseung had on the two of you

His resting jaw tightened at the thought popping in his head making him burn a hole into the back of your head that made the hair at the back of your neck rise.

“Let me just handle with her for a second and I’ll be right with you both” You boss kindly smiles but you knew it was one of anger directed towards you

“This actually involves her so she needs to stay” Heeseung jumps in and you slowly turn around in shock

But the nonexistent back bone of your boss disappeared to nothing as she quickly closed the door behind her, enclosing you in the room with them and walking over to the blinds and shutting them close.

You looked through the large transparent windows just before she did and saw everyone’s eyes towards the room, especially your co-worker with horror all over her face until it was out of sight.

It didn’t take long for all of you to step out of your boss’ office. Her smiling widely after being able to deviate from a crisis that would’ve made her magazine a laughing stock. She shook the hand of the athletes while you slightly bowed which they reciprocated.

Sunghoon was the first to leave with the excuse of not wanting to be late for training but before he left he gave you a tight smile and snuck a glance towards Heeseung who barely looked at him the entire time.

During your time working with the two even if it may not have been that long, there was one thing you knew about Sunghoon: he's a liar.

You expected Heeseung to leave right after him but instead he stayed for a moment longer to batanly look at you without shame. “Check your phone for me okay” He mouthed before finally waving goodbye and leaving the office without another word

“What happened?” You weren’t even able to get a chance for yourself before your friend who was supposed working on the article asked

You took a step back when she roughly grabbed your shoulders, her distress and unease obvious. You opened your mouth to say anything but your boss’s shoes clacked on the tile floor gaining everyone’s attention. She pointed at your co-worker with not falter in her words, “You’re out”

“What?” Your friend awkwardly laughed looking over at you for some clarification, “What does she mean by that?” She whispered only for you to hear

“I’m sorry” Was all that you could say but even though you were apologizing from something she didn’t understand, she could feel no remorse anywhere in your words

“What happened?!” Her voice started to raise louder as she looked between you and your boss for some type of clarity before ultimately looking at you knowing your boss’ won’t explain

“They were saying how they wanted me to cover the story instead and I-I just couldn’t go against it because we would’ve lost the story” The justification on your part only angered her even more

“I swear I was going to say something but before I knew it, there was always an agreement that I would be the other to finish it since I started it” Your friend didn’t know what to do or even how to feel, she looked at you in disbelief that you didn’t break character once

“Get back to work everyone!” You hear your boss yell and the crowd disburse instantly leaving it to just be you and your freund

“That goes for you too- You’ll pick up the story she was working on…” Your boss squints at the recently printed catalogue title you put on her desk with a scowl, “Something about impact of fertilizer” You boss huffed and quickly handed the stapled pack of paper to your friend’s chest

She stared at you in disbelief only to be met with the back of your head as you faced your boss with now better posture than you’ve had ever since she came back and took the story that was rightfully hers.

“And you” Your boss faces you with a closed mouth sigh, “Get back to work on the articles for those two”

You don’t realize you were the only one left standing in the same position. You ran a hand over your face and covered your mouth with your hand to conceal your quivering mouth at the realization finally daunting you. You were back on the story.

$$$

The knock at your front door was familiar but not unexpected. You still haven't responded to his messages like he told you to do so, it was only a matter of time until he showed up and you let him in.

Stretching the collar of the shirt you wore in order to breathe better, you sucked in a breath before cracking open your front door to Heeseung looking through the crack.

When his eyes met yours and softened upon contact. “Let me in?”

Choosing to open the door for him as a response, he stepped in with ease and confidence after being here far too many times.

“What are you doing here?” You sigh but he brushes it off, admiring how nothing has changed from last time he was here

He inhales sharply quickly turning on his heel making you jump at the closeness and warmth of his skin near yours. You stumble but he quickly catches you with a hand on your mid back while you look at him with wide eyes.

Heeseung smirked, noticing your expression. Being able to see you so close and in person felt like a reward he always wanted, “Thought I told you to answer your phone” His lulled words made you weak and you looked at him and he brought his lips to hover yours. “What? Cats got your tongue now?”

You jerk your head to the side to deny the kiss which made him breathlessly laugh, “Just like the last time we saw each other” He whispered as a hand ran over your back before knocking his head into the crevice of your neck

Softly inhaling your scent he became lightheaded. He missed it—He missed you.

“Heeseung” You softly call his name and he hummed before attaching his mouth to the unblemished surface of your neck

He ran his hand over your waist to your stomach where it slowly drifted downwards to the pulsing calling his name, “Shhh let me take care of you baby”

Your eyes fluttered closed and you didn’t resist at all. Your legs pulled slightly apart and hummed in satisfaction. Whenever Heeseung said he would take care of you, he meant it.

After time of not being inside of you was a lustful torture in itself but not being able to see you was a pain he never wanted to experience again.

He wasn’t sure how much he’s released inside of you or how much he’s made you cream around his cock. All he knows is that he can never get tired of this—of you.

With a heavy breath, his body crashed on top of you. You weakly gasped but your body shivered as you weakly played with the stickiness of his hair. You push it back to showcase the mall on his forehead that is usually covered by his hair.

He smiled softly and melted into the touch. Rubbing his cheek into the crevice of your neck while he gave plush soft kisses making you giggle.

You attempt to jerk your head away but he grabs your waist and brings you close to him, his other hand grabbing your head to keep you in place. “Where do you think you’re doing?” Heeseung slurred against your skin

He nipped at the skin, running his tongue over the burning sensation making you squirm in his hold. “Heeseung” You weakly called his name and you could feel the smirk radiating off of him, “More” You slurred

Heeseung chuckled at your state, “You still want more?” His calloused hands rubbing up and down your side—sucking softly at your skin to mark it. “Must’ve been so needy without me, so lonely without me here”

“I’m sorry pretty girl”

Your body moved with his words, a fluttering within, your hips bucking forward to meet with any friction. Too lost in the moment, Heeseung yelped when you pushed him by his shoulder and climbed on his lap.

Dipping your head down to his neck, you harshly sucked on anything you could get your mouth on. Kissing his bobbing Adam’ apple and tugging at it to which he dug his fingers into your hips as a warning.

You smiled against his neck as soft held back hums were released by him. Holding onto his shoulders, switching to the other side you dragged your tongue all over the unblemished skin. “When were you damn it- going to tell me about Sunghoon”

Your mind is so hazy that you didn’t pick up on the question choosing to clamp down your teeth onto his collarbone making him wither under you, planning on doing it again.

When you moved to the opposite side by the drag of your tongue from shoulder to shoulder, Heeseung pushed you away and you blinked, staring at him in bewilderment.

Instead of the loopy smile, he was serious and you could see that. “When were you going to tell me that you were interviewing Sunghoon as well?”

Retracting your hands from his shoulder and straightened out your posture to shrug like it was nothing, “I didn’t think it mattered”

You could see he didn’t believe you in the slightest as he chose to let out a weak scoff, “C’mon baby don’t give me that”

“What are you talking about?” Instead of sitting on his lap, you crawl off it to sit on your legs facing him, “It really does not matter”

Heeseung adjusted himself against your headboard and your sheets falling off his chest down to his waist. “Uh yes it does” He told you like it were the most obvious thing ever

“Why does it?”

Your question makes him push back his hair in a groan, ruffling the fluff of it to an even more disheveled state. “I’m just saying it just does, I don’t have to explain myself to you”

You scoff loudly in disbelief, “And I have to explain myself to you?”

“That’s not the point-“

You cut him off with a sharp remark, “Then what is the point? Am I missing something here?”

“All I’m saying a simple heads-up that you’re not only interviewing me but him as well would’ve been nice” The way Heeseung referred to Sunghoon was not of one of a warm greeting but you pushed that bubbling feeling down as you narrowed your eyes with a scowl

“Ever thought that I cannot talk about confidential stuff? That this is my job Heeseung”

“You know the job that you fought for, telling my boss you’d drop out if it wasn’t me covering it” He didn’t believe the snap of your words, there was something more you weren’t telling him and yet you played innocent

He released his hair with a huff, “So what? This is my fault now?” He shook his head to deny and waved his head like it was lunacy

You smacked his waving hand away to land at his side, “No I’m telling you I’m not obligated to tell you anything”

“I’m not the one who needs the other- I don’t need you” Heeseung laughed at your stifling remark, he stared at you in amusement like he couldn’t believe his ear

“Don’t get it twisted Heeseung. This-” You motioned at the distance between the two of you, “Isn’t what you think it is”

“And yet you want me” The slur of his tone made you soften your eyes just a bit, your shoulders slightly dropping because you couldn’t deny how it is, “Plus what is this between us then mhm?”

The question posed revelation because you weren’t sure what it was between you and Heeseung. One moment you’re interviewing him and then the next he’s in your bed taking care of you like no one else has.

Your silence spoke louder and he understood that completely. He shook his head and bundled your sheets at his waist before sighing softly and rubbing a hand over your arm, “Look I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you mhm?”

He sighed when you were looking off into the distance,“Babe look at me” He softly called but you pushed him away when he inched closer

“Don’t call me babe… I actually think it’s best you leave for now” Heeseung stared at his air hung hand as you shuffled away from him in your bed

“What?” Heeseung stared at you in bewilderment, he couldn’t believe what he just heard, you didn’t mean it—you couldn’t have. not when he was finally back at your side, “Don’t tell me you’re mad”

“I’m not mad, I just have to work soon” You pulled your sheets to your body but he hastily grabbed your wrist to stop you

“Now hold on, this isn’t happening- No fucking way”

Attempting to pull your wrist back as you stare at him shocked, “What exactly is happening?” You raised an eyebrow while a loud scoff bounced off the walls

“I just-” His mind was running laps, bubbling emotions erupting something nasty within, his fingers digging harshly into his palms, “I don’t get it. You already have me, why do you need to interview him?”

“Because this story covers two star athletes. Not just one” You put your finger at his bare chest to push him, “Plus last time I checked only one of you is doing better than the other and it definitely isn’t you”

“That’s only because he allows himself to be idolized and manipulated by the public’s eye to be some fucking perfect ice prince” He grabbed your pointing finger and held it tightly when you tried to pull back

“You know I’m not like that, that’s why you stayed.” He lowly said which ultimately led you to push him back to let you go, “You’re just mad that I’m not tripping over myself to make you feel bad about me”

You jerk your head back in shock, “You’re joking right?”

“I’m sorry I’m not going to allow you to paint me in whatever way you want to sell better”

“I’m not someone you can control and mold for your own pleasure especially for the public’s eye” Heeseung’s voice cracks into laughter after each word, “Hate to break it to you but I’m not Sunghoon”

This was the first time you heard the name be dropped from his mouth. Your mouth twitched but you could only laugh—not in happiness but in annoyance. “Trust me I know you aren’t”

“And oh is that so? Well I’m not going to be made less of what I am so that you can feel better about yourself who can’t seem to chart anywhere else but on the court”

“Isn’t that what only matters? Oh wait! Not for you cause you love leeching off things that aren’t meant to be known” Heeseung’s words became like venom that you could taste in the back of your throat

“And yet, you were still giving me a story just so that I can stay by your side” That was the last straw because he was quick to get up from your bed, grabbing everything of his discarded items and putting them in a haste

When he was slipping on his pants, he faced you with a mocking laugh that crinkled his nose, “And still somehow you ended up fucking me”

Your jaw clenched tightly as you stared at him, having one foot out of your room. He stayed for a second just staring at you and his eyes were starting to irritate you. The rational part of your mind screamed to do something but your emotions got the better of you.

“Don't sweat it too much, I regret it” You snapped and that was sign that made Heeseung slam the door shut leaving you alone with your heavy words lingering in the air

$$$

“What are we supposed to do now that we lost Heeseung?” Your boss frantically laughed as she paced around her office, “What exactly happened?!”

“He hasn’t been returning my calls, messages or emails and his management called me that he would be on hiatus until further notice”

“There wasn’t much else I can do” You tried to explain but your boss snapped her head towards you

“There’s not much else you can do” She repeated your words, “Well you can start off by bringing Heeseung back!” She yelled slamming her hand onto the table when she rounded the corner

You jerked at her shout and clenched your jaw tightly, your tongue running the insides of your mouth that you could taste the metallic on your tastebuds.

After constantly trying to get into contact with Heeseung after the fight, he ended up blocking your number when you received word he was on an indefinite hiatus.

You couldn’t bring him back once he became a ghost. That would be doing the impossible and you don’t work miracles.

“I have to go. I have a meeting with Sunghoon” Announcing it, you hoped to be spared from anymore of the lecture and to your luck, your boss didn’t respond and just sat at her desk to stare off in the distance

Stepping out of her office, you huffed, sighed loudly and closed your eyes while your hands shook at your side but the voice of your friend, the one who should be covering the story, smiled softly and rubbed your shoulder.

“I’m sorry to hear what happened with Heeseung” You furrowed your brows wondering how anyone knew of the news, she noticed your confusion and became lost herself, “Uh yeah… Didn’t you see the official statement posted? He’s off the lineup and won’t participate in the championship this season”

You stared at her with wide eyes but she didn’t answer your silent question.

“Just what happened? I thought everything was going well, especially after the scene they caused” She and everyone else has question they ask knowing you might have insider information that can satiates their curiosity

“I don’t know. Last session, he seemed fine. Maybe fame just got too much for him how the hell would I know what goes on in his head” You grit through your teeth, you knew it was a lie, there was no fame attached to his name besides the one the team gave him

But you truly don’t know what he was thinking and quite frankly, you didn’t want to dwell on something that isn’t in your control anymore. You didn’t say for long to continue the conversation giving an excuse that while you may be down one athlete, you still have another.

$$$

Sunghoon read the news, he saw the article, and with the new information obtained not long ago about the former basketball player also being interviewed by you. It was no shock that the disappearance of Heeseung must’ve taken a toll on you.

While he didn’t want to point out the obvious, it was really hard when you kept a stoic face, not a single smile that he adored in sight. On one hand, he tried everything possible that could spark some reaction, answering all questions with honesty but nothing brought back the same bright smile.

“Alright that’s it for this. Thank you for meeting me Mr. Park-“

“I heard what happened with Heeseung” You stopped mid way and looked away before turning to his nervous expression, he laughed to fill the awkward silence as he rubbed his nape, “I’m sorry that he suddenly back out like that”

“He tends to do that when something becomes too overwhelming with him” Sunghoon sighs and you immediately drop your hands and gave your full attention to him, “He isn’t the best when it comes to dealing with emotions so whatever it may have been, don’t blame yourself”

“It’s something I’ve told him countless times to fix because it could bite him in the ass and now look at this. His career on the line for whatever the case may be”

“But what if… Do you think this will cost him everything?” You asked when a void filled your stomach like a bottomless pit

“If he’s smart about it then no but if he isn’t who knows” Sunghoon shrugged when he knew that he would be the only to actually know

You rubbed your creased forehead and he jumped when you dropped your hand to the table in a thud, “But I mean unless it’s worth it then I can understand”

“What do you mean?” You asked and Sunghoon softly smiled making you frown lightly at the happiness in it

“That everything he’s doing is worth it. He loves what he does, I know that. So maybe he knows what he’s doing and the consequences will be worth it” The explanation did nothing as a clarity and it must’ve shown on your face when he chuckled softly

“He’s impulsive and irrational. He always has been no matter the case may be, so please don’t beat yourself for losing him because in the end it was his lost, not yours”

A kick in your stomach as you listened to him made it feel like a bucket of cold water was lathered over you and rudely waking you up to reality. You scoff at yourself, silently cursing under your breath as you look up at him with a more relaxed smile.

“There’s the smile” Sunghoon pointed when he saw it and you shied away and turned your head to hide it

You heard him laugh but you looked back at him when you heard him speaking again, “Let’s go shopping” The abrupt change of topic made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion

You open your mouth to respond until he beat you to it, “Please” You closed your mouth at his soft plea

Somehow managing to pack your belongings and being brought to the mall that you wouldn’t dare to step in for the sake of your bank account. However, he walked in there like it was just another day for him–which it was.

As the two of you aimlessly walked the mall, you see the high end brands one after another and you could never imagine the sheer luxury it must be to buy anything without looking at the tag.

“Can I ask why shopping all of a sudden?”

Sunghoon’s gaze remained forward as he took a nervous gulp and rubbed his forearm while he continued to walk beside you, “I uh…just need to buy something. Plus I thought it would be nice to have a change of scenery”

Keeping your sight on him, you see the awkward side glance he gave you before looking back ahead. Yet, he came to a stop in front of a store you never thought you would step foot into. The door opened wide for you and Sunghoon, the name ‘Tiffany and Co.’ embroidered into the glass.

Looking into the store before turning around to look at the encouraging smile he gave as he motioned you in. You nibbled softly on your lip peering over your shoulder as if to make sure it was okay. “Go on” His encouraging words bloomed in your chest

You inaudibly gasped at the lines of jewelry on display, the gleaming of the rocks nearly blinding by the mere sight. Looking up from the racks on racks of necklaces, bracelets and earrings, you see the employees bowing their heads to Sunghoon.

He kindly bowed back and with every step he took, everyone followed him. “Perks of being an ambassador” He rubbed his nape when noticing the unreadable expression on your face

Unable to rip your eyes from the employees that patiently waited for his word that you were snapped out of thought at the soft call of your name.

Your eyes blinked back to reality and turned to where your name was called and your jaw dropped seeing the diamond necklace blinging in the fluorescent light before it was extending out to you. “I think this will look lovely on you” His gaze shifted onto your neck before back up to your eyes with a tight lip smile

Unconsciously reaching up to the chain around your neck, you balled it in your palm before attempting with the lock you try to rid yourself of it however, it kept slipping through your fingers.

Grumbling under your breath when it wouldn’t come off but you stopped when you felt another pair of hands pulled yours away, “Let me do it for you” Sunghoon softly said as the clasp unclipped and the necklace slipped off your neck to be scooped in his hand

Your mouth slightly parted when he smiled warmly as he pried open your fist with his fingers as he dropped the necklace onto your palm, “Let’s try this one on now mhm?”

The cold from the necklace Heeseung gave you disappeared into your pocket as you turned your back and made it easier for Sunghoon to wrap the diamond necklace around your neck. It didn’t dangle like how Heeseung’s did. It was far too heavy in the middle by the crystal to do so, instead it clung to your skin.

You were hesitant to turn around and look at Sunghoon but he grasped your shoulders and turned you around, “What do you think?” Your question was innocent and pure in his eyes and it made his heart flutter

“I think we’re going to have to box it up” He smiled peeling his gaze away from the jewelry to look at you face that stretched in the smile he adored

“So? You get whatever you want at a discounted price?” You coughed when you caught a glimpse of the price tag which he laughed and shook shook his head like it was pure lunacy

“I get it for free” Your shocked must’ve been seen because he only shrugs his shoulders like nothing, “Perks of being a renowned athlete and ambassador I suppose”

“No this is the outcome of being loved by the nation” You muttered under your breath but quickly shut up when an employee extended a bright teal blue bag in your direction

You picked up the bag and looked inside of the box in which the necklace you’re wearing is supposed to go and a gratitude card for your purchase.

“Now it’s yours” Sunghoon had a look that sparkled and you couldn’t describe it

He cleared his throat and stuffed his hands into his pockets and smiled, “If you want to look more around the store you can. Choose whatever you like, it’s all on me”

An excitement raced through you hearing his words. Something that you hadn’t felt ever before unless during late night thoughts of what ifs or in your wildest dreams and fantasy.

The grip on the teal bag tightened as you glanced around the store to see all the employees waiting for Sunghoon and now your cue for whatever you may need.

You looked to the side to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Your ‘Tiffany and Co.’ bag in clutch and your necklace that dangled a shining diamond right in the middle.

$$$

“Sunghoon is wonderful isn’t he?” The question snapped your attention from the rather large portrait of the said male to the whom spoke

You see a striking resemblance to the woman who you knew to be his mother, seeing her in countless videos and photos along with Sunghoon. She always had the same proud smile when the cameras were on her and the smile she gave you was no different.

Her heels clack against the sleek tile floors where there was not a speck of dust. She looked up to the picture in pride and folded her arms. “This was during one of his last final matches. I didn’t know at the time since he made the decision by himself but it was a moment too beautiful not to capture.

The said picture was of Sunghoon and a gold medal hanging around his neck, the bouquet of flowers laying in his arm, the dust particles behind him and the light outlining him perfectly. And yet, his eyes were hollow, not a single smile in sight.

“Such a remarkable athlete. Always loved and remembered by the public even when switching careers” She hums softly, “He’s made it far even after everything” The mention of the switch of sports perks your interest, however it wasn’t what you were here for

You were here upon invitation his mother reaching out and setting this meeting without his knowledge—deeming it something between you and her.

“I’ve read all about it, it’s like he was meant to be on the ice” Your response seemed to have pleased his mother as she lightly patted your shoulder like it was the right answer to say

“Every since we took him ice skating on a long cold night during the winter at a lake we used to go to often, we knew then and even now he’s meant for the ice” She told and you mentally took note of how she talked of him and the experience, even only meeting her not even an hour ago, you’re already learning more information that no one else knows

When she pats your shoulder again, you look to see her motioning to follow and hastily doing so, you look around at the house as you walk through it. Saying that it was beautiful would be such an understatement. It screamed of pure wealth and of Sunghoon that by eyes alone, you could tell this was his foundation.

You could feel the hint of him within the walls besides all his pictures and medals plastered everywhere. You tried to look at everything that you could of him. There were countless joyous, shy smiles of his everywhere you looked.

It didn’t matter if he was alone, with people, on the ice, in the grass, in the sun, and in the snow. Sunghoon was always shyly smiling—a smile that never changed until it stopped when he grew up.

“Did he enjoy figure skating?” You voiced out your thought only to suck in a breath and cursed under it for not catching yourself sooner

She laughed and you slowed down your steps as she did as she turned around to look at you, “That’s the thing about you journalist”

“You’re always looking for something to sink your teeth into”

“I-I” You were lost for words, there was nothing that came to mind that could save you from this but you took a step back when she turned her whole body to face you

“You know I thought you would be more careful when it came to your tracks considering you’re the very person you have to be careful of” She said while handing you a photograph

You were scared to look down at it but when she puckered her lips to it, you shakily picked up the photo and saw you and Sunghoon walking into Tiffany and co. with soft smiles exchanged.

There were many times you’ve experienced fear but this was the first time you’ve felt it because of someone else you just met. You looked up at her in horror but she smiled at you.

But even when being cornered, you couldn’t take out the muscle memory when you spot a picture in the corner of your eye behind her. Pushed all the way back and dust accumulated on it, there were two young boys, arms wrapped over their shoulders with bright smiles while they stood on the ice.

One with their hair pushed back with a squiggly headband showing the mole dead center on his forehead wearing hockey gear and the other wearing a decorative bodysuit, the prominent eyebrows and scattered moles on his face to be signed below. Heeseungie and Hoonie.

“Now I hate getting my hands dirty” Sunghoon’s mother said, making you remember what was happening. You snap your attention back to her as she picked the photo from you, “However, I’m seeing something that needs to be taken care of”

You stared where the picture once was until you carefully looked around the empty dimmed room before looking back to her wicked grin.

Her eased demeanor contrasted your stressed one making you swallow down a lump in your throat. There was no one else in the room besides the two of you. “Now why don’t we step into my office? I like talking more in private”

“I think you just might want to hear my proposal, journalist”

$$$

All that training he’s done couldn’t have possibly prepared him for the struggle that he was about to endure in running over to your place in the rain.

He wiped the sweat that blurred his eyesight and pushed himself, he couldn’t stop. The balls of his feet killed him but it faded away when he stood in front of your door. The light hanging from above illuminates just enough to cast the shadow of his hand hovering your door.

He flexed his hand at his side, nervously gulping before straightening out his clothing and adjusted his hair to what he hopes is a tame state.

The knock at your door made you jump and look up from your laptop before slamming it shut and roughly shaking your head from the clouding thoughts.

You grabbed your phone and rushed towards the door trying to ignore the giddy feeling blooming into your chest but it died when you opened your door and your phone nearly slipped through your hand at the sight in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice laced in surprise and tension as Sunghoon tries to regulate his breaths with heavy pants

He opened and closed his mouth, no thought running through his mind that could make him utter a coherent sentence but when his gaze shifted to your opened phone he read the bolded slanted title.

‘Park Sunghoon, Nation’s love, caught on a shopping date sparks mixed emotions of fans. All wishing for the protection of the athlete’ and attached below to the title were the very photos from the mall that day.

Sunghoon let out a shaky breath as he slowly raised his eyes to you. You stood frozen, your eyes widened and mouth slacked open. He quickly engulfs you in a tight hug, “I don’t know how anyone knew we were there and managed to get that picture of us but I will deal with it”

“I’ll call everyone I know to get that article taken down” The grip over your body tightened as he rested himself on your shoulder before burying himself into the depths of your neck, “I am so sorry”

Your free hand twitches and your face scrunched when letting out a shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding before a ripping sob came from you and your bottom lip quivered.

“Shhh it’s okay, let it out. I’m right here” He whispered softly into your ear, his hand running up and down your back to console you

You didn’t say anything, merely sticking your head deeper to cover your face as you held tightly around his waist. Sunghoon pulled his head from your neck to hover his mouth over your ear, “I got you. I got us don’t worry”

He pulled away, his hands on your shoulder to see your teary eyes, a clench in his heart at the sight, “No one is going to hurt you as long as I am here”

You opened your mouth to say something but he quickly hushed you, he raised his hand and his thumb wiped away the tears at the corner of your eye. A reassuring smile stretched over his face as his eyes never left yours even when you were looking away.

Able to feel his gaze on you, you screwed your eyes shut. The built up waterworks striking down your face which Sunghoon easily caught. The pad of his thumb creased your cheek in a gentle manner, you slowly opened your eyes and turned your gaze to him.

When you caught his eyes, his smile grew more and he looked at you with a shimmer in his eyes—making it look like he held the universe in them.

You gulped the nerves down but he grew closer into you, your eyes searched his face to see if he could hear your heartbeat with how close he was. “Mr. Park-“ You started when he hovered your lips

He sucked in a breath, the eye contact never let up from the moment it started, “Please call me Sungho- Actually call me whatever you want. As long as I am the one you’re calling out to”

You were going to speak when his hovering mouth planted softly onto yours. You gripped his forearm to stop his shaking as he held your face.

Instead of ripping yourself away like he expected, your eyes slowly flutter close, getting lost in the plush feel.

“You shouldn’t be here- What if someone sees you?” You softly whisper when he pulls away and stares into your eyes, “Guess you have to let me in then”

He had a flush across his cheek when he harshly gulped in anticipation of your response. He doesn’t know what took over him but you grasped his arm and pulled him into your place without a word and your eyes never left his.

When the door closed behind him, it didn’t take a moment longer before Sunghoon slammed his mouth against yours. His face scrunched when your nails dug into the muscle of his forearm but he looked past it when he pressed his lips deeper onto yours.

He felt even happier when your hand loosened and pulled his hands away to your sides. Instantly his hand cupped you there and carefully flushed your body with his.

Your arms wrapped around his neck when the empty spaces soon became filled by him. Your heart was pounding and your mind was spiraling with nothing in it besides Sunghoon.

He repeated soft pecks on your lips ever so softly while you raked your hands up the back of his neck into his hair. Messily tussling it from the usual neat look. You grinned softly against him but when you gasped just enough when he nibbled on your bottom lip to slip his tongue in.

Grasping a fistful of hair when he devoured the entrance you gave him. Sunghoon was getting too far into the clouds to focus on anything else besides you. You were feeling light headed from how much he was kissing you, he wasn’t letting you have a chance to breathe.

There was always a gnawing in his mind and chest whenever you were around. Now, it was dull and numb, too overcomed with a greater need now that he’s tasted you.

“Please” Sunghoon wasn’t sure what he was pleading for, what he did know was that he would rather give up everything than lose you

You began walking backwards, guiding him further into your home. With each step you both took, pieces of article began slipping away and trailing where you once were. Until you stripped into nothing but your undergarments.

When you reached your bedroom, the door was pushed open and slammed closed by his foot as you gracefully placed on your bed.

The kiss never broke for a minute after that, his body slotting between your legs, his arm resting at the side of your head while the other wrapped your leg around him. His fingers traced designs and patterns on your skin as he kissed you silly.

The light-headed feeling was getting worse but you only pressed harder against his mouth. Sunghoon mimicked the same desperation, constantly repeating the motion.

You continued to play with the back of his hairs, tugging at them every now and then until you tried to pry him off your lips for a second. Managing to peel him away for the millisecond of air before he broke free and crashed himself back onto you. Sunghoon kissed you like a starved man like he’s been deprived of a necessity in life.

He tightly gripped your waist to keep you rooted flat on your back when you whipped your head away. He needed to be touching, to feel you, to be so close to you that no one was sure where either of you began and ended.

“Sung…Hoon” You broke his name and he had never been called out so prettily, it was like a siren that dragged him into you

His fingers hooked under your chin and turned your head to face him again. When you looked at each other, the vision that clouded your minds faded away. Sunghoon stroked the pad of his thumb on your cheek, his eyes never moving from your face.

While you looked at him for a moment before trailing down to his sculpted chest, the toned bulging muscles made him see nearly ethereal. Your hand reached out to graze the muscles and Sunghoon didn’t say anything, merely allowing you to do what you pleased.

You admired him. It was like he was taken extra care of, given more attention to details to ensure perfection. Your fingers traced around his joints, feeling how his gaze never let up from you.

When he pushed your head back to him, he leaned and met you halfway. The plush of his lips caught you off guard but you easily melted into it. He cupped your jaw before snacking an arm over your back and carefully guiding you back on the bed.

The cold feel of fingertips grazing your bare back made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You gripped his shoulder tightly when he began slipping off your bra, you didn’t know when he managed to unclasp it but you helped him.

The garment slipping off made you break away from the kiss but Sunghoon chased after you, he placed soft pecks against any patch of skin he was near. After each peck, you whispered sweet nothing loud enough for you to hear, “You’re beautiful, so unbelievably stunning”

“You’re perfect” You screwed your eyes shut when you heard them, your hand impossibly gripped tighter unwilling to let him go

Sunghoon’s hand roamed over your back to your side before sliding down to your hips where he played with the fabric of your underwear.He rested his forehead on yours, both of your eyes closed shut as his breath fanned over your face. “May I?” He whispers making your heart shake

You carefully open your eyes to catch him already looking at you. You gulped down harshly, only able to nod your head in response. He smiled softly but shook his already sweaty forehead on yours, “I need words princess”

“Yes you can Sunghoon” You rushed the words in one breath, his smile grew in size and showcased his row of teeth and sharp teeth to looked like a vampire ready to sink his teeth

“Thank you” He hooked his fingers over the fabric and carefully peeled it off you while you wrapped your arms around his neck and kept yourself buried in his neck

Wet kisses rested on the side of your face and jaw to deviate the attention from what was happening. But Sunghoon pulled your arms away from him as he pulled himself back. You stared at him with confusion when he focused on properly taking your undergarment off.

Passing down to your ankle to dangle off before he slid it off completely, Your cheeks burned in embarrassment when you felt a cold breeze hit your glistening self. Sunghoon sucked in a breath watching the pure arousal.

“Is this for me? Leaking all this for me?” He asked but when he focused back on you he saw how you had your head buried in the pillows, “Hey it’s okay… Look at me”

You couldn’t face him but when a finger sleekly slid in between your folds, a moan ripped out of you while you buried your head dropper into the sheets. “Look at me” Sunghoon repeated his words, “Please”

You shivered at the thought of seeing Sunghoon, especially at this moment but you turned over to him to see the wet eyes he had while looking at you. Nearly hanging off the bed and the sight of his head in between your legs.

“There you go” He huffed out a smile before dragging his finger up to softly rub over your clit, you threw your head back when your body jerked at the touch, “No no be a good girl and look at me princess”

But when you didn’t listen he ripped his hand away and you whined in protest before blinking rapidly to look at him, “Look! Look! I’m looking please Hoon” you wailed which erupted an explosion in his chest

“Hoon? I think I can get used to that” He laughed before running a hand up and down the outside of your thigh, “Glad you listened” He hummed before returning to his original spot

He was agonizingly slow when running a single finger over your folds, spreading the wetness all around. “Sungh-“ You started but quickly gasped when he slipped in a finger

He hissed at the clench but slipped in another making you fist your sheet, crumbling underneath your body. His hot breath fanned over your cunt making your slightly jolt but strained a moan when his curled up his fingers and laid his tongue out and up your juices.

Attaching himself to your pussy was like a dream. Something he never wanted to part from and it drove him mad. His head felt lightheaded when all thoughts rationally fled from it to be filled by you. He turned his fingers around, slightly parting them to scissor you open.

His tongue gilded all over, burying his head deeper into you. He hummed loudly as he drank everything. that split out of you. “So sweet, the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. Probably the sweetest in the entire world” His praised went straight into your head as you carefully rut your hips against his face

“Hoon- Hoonie” You mewled when he plunged his fingers faster in and out of you

“Say my name princess” He grunted when he sucked on the bundle of nerves that made your body thrust

Sunghoon held your lower body with his upper one to keep you in place, sleek slender fingers adding a more desperation into you that needed to be quenched. He adjusted his add into a more comfortable position that made his fingers go impossibly deeper.

The lewd sound of your arousal spilling out and him drinking everything that he possibly could since he couldn’t have anything go to waste. Your body arched off your bed when Sunghoon managed to hit a spot in your gummy walls.

You could feel the smirk radiating off of him and against your cunt as he chuckled, “That’s the spot? Right there?” He asked while repeatedly hitting it

When you couldn’t respond with words and only moaned, a pride bloomed over his chest. “Talk to me” He stopped his movements making you wail

Your mind is too far gone to comprehend wording, your focus on rutting yourself with his fingers. Riding for any type of friction while you spewed nothing incoherent, “Yes right there- need you Hoonie. Please”

“I need to stretch you out. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re far too precious to be broken” He softly spoke while he dragged his fingers out only to plunge them back without a warning, “Let me take care of you”

You rapidly nod in response which made him gleam. Attaching his lips back to your folds, he nastily slurped the arousal that accumulated in the few seconds he pulled away. Embarrassed but too overtaken with a fog you rut your hips harder.

Sunghoon curled the two digit up feeling the gummy wall contracting around him. He smiled as he looked up through his eyelashes to watch the pleasure written over your face. It was a sight that burned in his mind, how your mouth fell slack as noises spilled from it because of him.

He rubbed his face deeper into your core, his nose hitting your clit while his fingers never let up and his tongue attempted to push into your hole. You squealed and pulled on his hair, “Hoon-Hoonie!” Your voice raised higher which each pulled and push into your body

“Let go” He murmured muffled by your pussy until your back arched off the bed, the loudest moan of the night ripping from your throat as you tug of the locks tangled in your fingers, “Such a good girl for me”

You loudly gasp when he continues his thrust of fingers but at a much slower pace. He drank as much as he possibly could, the lack of oxygen the least of his concern.

You tapped on his disheveled hair but he didn’t part from you. Sunghoon carefully rubbed the tingling nerves when he placed kisses all over your cunt. “Helping you out” He blabbed against the soaked walls but you could tell he lied through his teeth

He doesn’t know what took over him. His mind was too far gone to realize it comprehend his body begging for a proper respiration but he needed to continue.

It wasn’t until you physically ripped yourself away from him when he took a deep breath and dazed as he looked at you. His eyes were wet, ringing with tears and the lower half of his face covered in your release.

His sculpted chest rose and dropped with each huff, your body was lightly shaking but before either words could be uttered, Sunghoon crashed his mouth to yours. You yelped in the kiss but screwed your eyes shut and cupped his jaw while his hands roamed over your body.

Sunghoon grasped any piece of skin he could get his hands on and flushed his body back on top of yours. You cringed at the taste of you on his lips but he chuckled deeply, “Don’t you taste so good? I love it” He slurred between pecks

Your hands ran up to the back of his head and kept him in place. Your parted legs welcomed him in between with his hand running up and down your sides. The inner of his palms scratched due to the calluses but they were much softer than how you remember them to be.

The kiss was sloppy and messy, too far uncoordinated but too precious that made every action feel filled with a purpose. “I need you” You gasped and Sunghoon pulled away to stare in your eyes

You looked up to him to see the pleading pooling in his eyes, his bottom lip quivering as his breath shook. “Are you sure?” He carefully asked and you nodded your head, “But I need you to say it“

“I. Need. You. Sunghoon” You cut yourself after every word to emphasis the broken sentence

“You’ve always had me” He responded placing a kiss on your lips which contrasted any other one, much softer and gentle approach

The tangle of his hair loosened in your hold before slipping off to rub his neck. The tips of your fingers tingling when feeling the burning of his body, “You’re burning up” You pointed out as much as you could but he roughly shook his head as he moved down from side of your mouth to your cheek then jaw to finally your neck

“You give me fever” An exhilarating shock filled your body with his words, so truthful, so raw, “You drive me crazy”

You brush the fallen hair and tucked it away as much as you could to bring focus to his face, moles that you weren’t aware existed unless you were so close to see it showcased themselves to you.

Focusing on the weak points, you flipped over to have Sunghoon sprawled on your bed. He looked up at you in shock when you straddled his lap, smothering your arousal over his boxers covering his clear hard on, he moaned loudly.

“Don’t be a tease” He sucked his teeth but you smirked and pressed down harder while tangling your hand behind his head

“I won’t- I don’t have time for that” Sunghoon looked at you through squinted eyes when your fingertips traced the outline of his boxers, “Plus why would I even think about pulling nonsense with you”

“Because you’re a journalist- You live off of story” You laughed at the reprimanded comment, you bring his head leveled with yours with a raise of an eyebrow

“You sure have a snappy attitude under the tidy hockey player” This time he was the one to laugh out loud, you tilted your head in confusion but you yelped when you were flipped to your back again

Sunghoon hovering over you, his arms on each side of your head and his muscles stretching out the line of the clear dedication he put into his body.

“No. Welcome to actual me” Before you could even retaliate his words or even question them, he fiddles with his boxers and rips them off his body

You gulped harshly when you caught a glimpse of his length, clearly underestimating his size and he laughed, “You thought I was small. You’re breaking my heart”

When you looked up to him you were met with a crazed look in his eyes, a dark cloud forming in his mind that had one thought in mind. To ravish you.

“Sunghoon-“

“That’s not my name” He sternly told, gripping your chin to keep your eyes on him

You gulped down the lump forming in your throat, your voice shaky but it put a smile on his face, “Hoon?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” He chuckled before sucking his teeth and shaking his head, “Not that one though”

“Hoonie” You told and he smiled widely showing off his teeth, the sharp ones peeking out, he leaned down to your bare skin and you shivered

His teeth crazed over the unblemished skin but he screwed his eyes tight and huffed. He grabbed his length and dragged it over your soapy folds, he let out a shudder when the wetness met with him. He immediately crumbled as you clawed at his shoulders when aligned his tip at your entrance.

You could feel the stretch slightly protruding until it broke through. “Hoonie” You mewled his name as he slowly pushed himself in

“Fuck princess you’re so good- Absolutely the best” Sunghoon felt dizzy, the wet warm confidment engulfing him worked wonders in his foggy mind

Each inch that he gave you, you took without fail. “Shhh it’s okay. I’m right here. I got you” He rubbed your hips as the single handed most harmonic sounds ripped from you as you adjust to the stretch of your wall to accommodate him

You pushed your head right into his neck, your arms hooking under his to keep him close. “You’re doing amazing” His reassurance bloomed into your chest and with a weaken shake of your head, his heart fluttered

“Are you sure?” He tiptoed as if he wasn’t already inside of you

You shot him a glare that you knew he could feel and weakly laughed, “Whatever you want”

He pulled back his hips before pushing back in and he was gone, easily getting lost in the sense of you engulfing him whole. His pace slow and calculated to your pleasure, he didn’t pull away just enough to leave you empty but enough to make sure you knew he was gone.

With each thrust, you could feel the pure rawness of Sunghoon being opened to you. You knew he was trying to remain his composure, the strained noise from his closed mouth directly to your ear. While you didn’t hold back, you let any sound slip past your mouth into his ear followed with the drag of your nails down his shoulder blades and back.

His tip poked around the gummy walls, filling the hollowness that you swore you could feel him poking your g-spot that had made you cling to him harder. His hand at your sides squeezed tightly, “You’re a good girl. So fucking good to me”

You blabbed incoherency but he swore that under your breath you muttered just for you. He’s unsure if it was mind playing tricks on him but he ran with that buried in his mind.

Sunghoon focused on keeping his thrust slow and ryhtmic. Even though you tried to meet with his thrust halfway, he only pushed your body further down on the mattress to keep you in place.

Your mind was running blank, the care of professionals far long that you couldn’t even see where you left it. “Hoon- Sunghoon!” You cradled him to show the desperation you had

But he could see it, already feeling it wrapping around him. His mind was being rewired—so focused on burning this feeling in his mind with a lingering thought this couldn’t be it. He wouldn’t allow it.

“Let me hear you princess. Let me know who is making you feel like this” The tips of his fingers pushed into the flesh of your skin as he kept pushing himself in and out of your, “Don’t keep quiet please- Let me know” The tome of his voice growing higher with each word

Tangling one of your hands into the fluff of his hair, resting your face on his head, closing your eyes and biting your lip to stop more sounds from falling out.

The hand on your side loosened and managed to slip through the tanglement of your sweaty bodies to your clit, you gasped loudly and tugged harshly on his hair. “It was calling for me. I couldn’t ignore you”

His offering words flipped something in you, it was unsure what did but your concealed mouth and through the obscene sounds, you managed to mutter the words Sunghoon wanted to hear. “So good Hoonie”

“So good for me”

Instead of keeping his pace, he groaned when you whispered it into his ear, with one thrust, Sunghoon flipped. No longer the careful and slow ones, it was now sloppy and face. The air got knocked out of you trying to get used to the new pace.

Your body jolts into your bedding more with the thrust, your arms shaking off his body to lay at your sides and grip the sheets into your fist. Your head turned to the side when you felt him pull from your body but his thrust let up.

“Just a little more- Take it for me princess” He rubbed harder on the bundle of nerves as he rammed into your soaked self

“Can I come inside? Please. Please” He weakly pleaded as he stared at your moving body, while you may not have been facing him, you must be thinking about it when you’re moaning like that

Sunghoon pistons himself out of you, his skin meeting your skin to mix with the sounds already bouncing off your walls. He thought this was heaven but when you clamped around him, the hole contracted around him. He knew it was better than heaven.

And he would be willing to give up anything to keep you.

“Yes. Yes. Please” You slurred through the noises, your tits bouncing with each thrust that entranced him, he couldn’t look away from you even if he wanted to

You clawed at your bed to stabilize just how harsh he was going. Your mind melted to mush, “Going to fill you up just of me”

“I need you to know that you will always have me. Carrying me inside of you” He huffs while the thrust grew sloppy and messy, “I am always with you princess”

Instead of being such possessive wording, it felt warmer and genuine. The glittered erupted in your stomach but the thought washed always when he harshly rubbed down on the bundle of nerves and spurted his hips one last time.

Your back arched off the bed and a moan ripped out of you but Sunghoon only slowed down his movements as you came over him, “Hoonie- Too much” You tried to wither but he pressed down on both side of your hips to continue his relentless plunges

“Just a little more, take it for me princess. Doing so good for me. be a good girl” He blabbed in one breath as he tried to ignore the tightness around his length

You buried your head deeper to the side and screwed your eyes shut as mewls and wails slipped past your quivering lip. Your crumbled sheets flipped and wrinkled under your moving bodies. Sunghoon kept your hips in place for his thrust until they came to a hilt and a moan mixed with a whine ripped from his chest past his throat when you felt a twitch inside of you.

“Hoonie” You weakly called out to him, he hummed softly but he rocked his hips in slow manners making you whine but him softly smile as the velvet walls were painted of him

“Take it for me” You were unable to respond due to heavily panting, trying to regulate your breath but it got caught in your throat when a finger hooked under your jaw and turned your head

You weakly opened your eyes to see Sunghoon’s glistening from the moonlight shining through the window, the sparkling eyes that looked like they held the universe in them stared at you. “Sunghoon” You called out his name

The way it rolled off your tongue made his heart hammer and a blush warm his cheeks. He squished his lips together and his cheeks rose as he wiped away any sweat from your face. His eyes softened at your state and creased your cheek, he leaned down and captured your mouth with his.

He hummed softly as he held you close. Your arms wrapped around his neck when his arms hooked under your body to pull you close, he didn’t pull out with the thought of keeping himself as close to you as possible and you didn’t say anything.

$$$

The sunlight blared into the room making your face scrunch. You jerked slightly and groggily opened your eyes. The window was slightly ajared as a gust of wind washed in and moved your curtains.

A soreness coursed through your body and you sighed heavily as you tried to straighten out of your state. You peered over to your shoulder and saw the dipped empty space where Sunghoon once laid.

You tried to rack your brain of what happened after it all but it was blurred to the point you remember the last peck he gave to your forehead as he murmured something that you couldn’t pick up before you fell asleep.

Pushing yourself up on your arms you winced softly, the sheets falling off your body only to see a shirt bigger than yours draped over you. Your brows crease in the middle but you jump when your bedroom door opens and in walked Sunghoon holding a tray of water, some cut up fruits and steaming wet towels

He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed you awake, “What are you doing?”

“I-I” He stuttered over his words, not really sure what to say but when you let out a giggle, the initial worry washed away, “For when you woke up” He softly said while walking over to you with the tray at hand

You speech yourself up on your headboard and see him shirtless with only his pants hanging off his hips, “Couldn’t put a shirt on?” You ask when he sits on the edge of the bed and placed the tray on his lap

He points to the respective things on the tray until you nod your head at the water and quickly hands it to you. “You’re wearing it”

You look down to the material and realize it was in fact true. “Do you want it back?” You pick at the shirt but he stops you and shakes his head

“No actually keep it. I like how it looks on you way better than it will ever look on me” He smiled softly before rubbing his nape, a shy smile casting over his face,“Was I-I uh too rough last night? I’m sorry… I’ll tone it down next time”

You extend your free hand to crease his head, the fluff of his bed hair sticking all over the place. He met your gaze to the glowing hue of the sunlight casting a shadow over you while you looked at him. He shook your head down to his cheek and nestled into your palm.

But when you open your mouth to respond but unintentionally he cuts you off. Sunghoon softly muttered through a soft pout of his lips but clear enough to hear from a mile away, “You’re glowing princess”

Your mouth tugged upwards softly, such a picture perfectly painted in the eyes of everyone else, now laid destroyed and ruined in front of you.

$$$

When you stepped into the office, you didn’t expect it to be buzzing so early in the morning. Everyone stood in front of any screen they could get their hands on. You furrowed your brows trying to recall if there was something supposed to be happening.

You quickly put down the new prada bag Sunghoon bought you after seeing you eye it for a second longer than the rest and walked over to where everyone was.

When you made it to the crowd everyone froze and stared at you with. You were going to ask what happened but you stopped when Sunghoon’s face came into frame.

He wore a black sleek suit with hair parted neatly, not a smile in sight as he bows to the reporters. The flashing lights going off from the cameras made you feel bad for his eyes constantly going through that. But the worry washed away when he was handed a mic.

An unease erupted in your stomach, the palpitations of your heart made you feel lightheaded and adrenaline high for an unknown reason.

“Thank you everyone for coming on such short notice” Sunghoon cleared his throat, the mic faintly picking it up as he straightened out his posture

“I want to say I am grateful for everything that has led me to this point of my life. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the help of those close and charitable to me”

“Without them I wouldn’t be here today and sometimes I think if it was for the worse or the better”

“I’ve thought about this thoroughly and so from this day onward… I am declaring my resignation from the team and officially announcing my retirement from the public eye”

“This was Park Sunghoon” He bows at a perfectly 90 degree angle to the clamoring reporters physically there and rushed flashing camera lights captured the moment better than you could’ve

Through the confined space, the people around you gasped loudly as they looked at each other before ultimately looking back at you who stood frozen staring at the screen.

Your boss whom you hadn’t seen harshly grabbed your arm, digging her fingers into your skin while giving a shaky glare. “Fix this” She grits through her teeth

You didn’t respond and pulled your arm away as your body moved on its own. Heavy steps after another as you attempt to rush back to your cubicle and hastily fish out your phone.

It was hard to get a grasp through slippery hands but your mind was reeling and you felt like you were going to crumble and have the world swallow you whole. Even with your attempts to even out your breathing, you couldn’t breathe..

What is he thinking?! There’s no way that he is doing this, not when you were so close.

But the faint call of your name caused you to snap harsher than you meant, you saw your friend who stares with shocked eyes and you huffed loudly and rubbed your creased forehead, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap. Right now just isn’t the best time”

“I know but I just wanted to tell you not to worry so much about this”

The choice of words but your brows knit even deeper with confusion, there was no way she didn’t realize the grand scale of what is happening and what this entails for your career. “What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t heard?” The grip on your phone loosened when she relayed the sudden break of rumor circling around the internet right when Sunghoon declared his retirement just a few moments ago—The silence of months finally shouting and slapping you directly in the face

“Rumor has it Lee Heeseung is back”

——

taglist: @firstclassjaylee @chososg1rl @suhwife @ziiao @littlesweettea-aine @yunlazia @m1kkso @isagistar @shiningnono @fancypeacepersona @talesofthegreatest @cloud-lyy @nickiminajleftasscheek @moonchild-moonfairy @chobitos @dollyyun @no1likeneo @river-demon-slayer @tunafishyfishylike @ilovhoonie @lovingvoidgoatee @cyjhhyj @love4hee @drunkodazed @roslayy @faeyun @tinycatharsis @innocygnet @ilovhoonie @yangjungwonisms @sangiewife @bambiihee @fangel @kristynaaah @jaylaxies @meowieshibal @ziiao @vampsol @minniejenseo @karinaever @tokkisluv @iamjusttryingtoreadapost @skzenhalove @hwuneji

[minhaemin]

BREATHE ME IN. ✱ MDNI ❕

synopsis. The ancient bloodline of serpent hybrids was hidden, closed off. Unknown, a mere unconfirmed sighting of them is enough to ring alarms of danger. But here you were, claimed and possessed by a snake that held a voice as smooth as honey and a touch as light as feather— what would happen when your curiosity over his kind gets the best of you and you want to unleash the side of him that was written down in history?

pairing. snake!jake x fem!reader (19+)❕warnings. PURE FLITH, like genuinely disgusting nasty questionable smut. DARK CONTENT, jake is obv a snake, fangs, subspace, blood drinking, mentions of stalking + kidnapping, he has magical venom like an aphrodisiac, venom feeding, unprotected sex, creampies, feeding rituals, supernatural bond formation, belly bulge, tongue sucking + throat fucking, knotting bcs he has a knot, body worship, womb + cervix worship & fucking, Jake has stalkerish tendencies, he bites u multiple times, oviposition like full on eggs cuz hes a reptile, like he lays eggs in u fyi, insane breeding kink like genuinely, soft moments but like just twice in the span of 16k words. word count. 16.7k

a,note. this is by far my nastiest fic i’ve ever written. half of me gen doesn’t want to post this here, it’s my first time ever writing + posting something like this. please read the warnings and minors do not interact. this fic contains dark content and some creepy stuff people might be uncomfortable with, read at your own risk & have a nice day ! + proofread at 9 am with zero hours of sleep (as usual)

The sound of pages turning reverberated through the walls.

You sat on the soft mattress, back pressing against the headboard while a pile of books accompanied your bedside table, fingers flicking from page to page.

A simple warm light dimmed the room, your shared bedroom that almost felt alive, your surroundings felt like they pulsed sometimes. The furniture feeling cold to the touch before turning warmer, this was yours and his sacred place, his nest.

It was where you were most comfortable with being, and he was most satisfied with you being. Engulfed in his warmth, in his pulse that synced with his heartbeat so he connected to you at all times.

The paper in front of you contained drawings, sketches, definitions, explanations. The first few that you skipped revolved around mermaids, wolf hybrids, panther hybrids— till you finally reached the chapter you wanted.

Snake hybrids. The offspring of humans, serpents and vipers.

“Snake hybrids have special characteristics, most of them carry split eyes that dilate at the sighting of a prey. Some have large tongues, dry and barbed. Extending a few inches past what’s considered normal depending on the hybrid bloodline—“

You flipped the page.

“A rare species of serpent crossbreds may be born with multiple different appendages, their tails—“

You flipped another page.

Vision skimming past the words written carefully onto each part, the different anatomies of snakes, their hybrid form and their viper form— you were too indulged in the book to notice the passing glimmer of scales.

Obsidian with a jade iridescence, thick and rough.

Jake slithered towards you quietly, silencing his hissing and the scratch of his scales as he made his way through his nest. Emerald slit eyes that locked in on you. His lover, his mate, his prey.

And before you could turn your wrist to turn the page— you felt it.

The warm, large brushing of his scurry tail. His scales providing a soothing chill before the warmth of his venom pulsed through it. “Entertaining yourself with books about me when I’m right here?” His tone was smooth, deep and hypnotising.

“I was just curious..” you closed the book, the sound of the cover shutting bringing a daunting smile to his sharp features, his eyes raked over you, slits tightening when he tilted his head.

“Hm? About what, love?” His tail circled your ankle before trailing upper, sneaking between the warmth of your inner thighs when you squirmed before wrapping around your waist, fully coiling himself around you as he inched his face closer.

You breathed out shakily, “about your kind..” “what about my kind?” His heartbeat pulsed around the walls in the nest and around you. Tail tensing the slightest bit making you feel the drumming beat that coursed through your viper’s veins.

His question stopped you. A flush warming around your neck at the embarrassment of admitting that you wanted to know about snakes mating. Serpents bonding. Vipers connecting and devoting themselves fully.

Because it’s true— you are curious. So curious as to why Jake has allowed you into his nest, has made you feel the shimmery scales of his tail yet still hasn’t fully claimed you.

The amount of stories you’ve heard of other humans being claimed by their serpent hybrids, the sheer force of their connection, the weight of the love they shared, the way they became biologically altered to accept their mate.. made you feel hollow.

Jake didn’t do any of that with you. Sure, he might’ve told you about his previous mate experiences. You might’ve gained knowledge about a thing or two of a sacred ritual passed down from fanged bloodlines, but you didn’t experience.

You wanted to feel jake connect to you as far as his reptile body allowed him to. You wanted to feel him devote himself completely to you, to mark you, to scent you, to bond to you for life and claim you.

You yearned to be claimed by him.

And Jake could already see the longing in your eyes, he felt it every time your fingers touched his scales. Each time you stared at his long tongue that flicked past his plump lips, he knew. And he wanted to claim you as badly as you wanted him, but he was still scared of hurting you.

Two different kinds, two different species. He had venom coursing through his veins next to his cold blood while yours pumped warmly, he had fangs that ached when he took too long to release while your teeth were half the size of his, even though Jake wanted to claim you— god, he wanted to worship you. There was still an intrusive thought that gnawed his mind that you’ll hurt. That he’ll break you, that you’re not ready for him.

“I could show you what you want to know, satisfy your curiosity..” he trailed off, bringing his clawed finger to trace down your jaw making you nuzzle against his touch. “But I might hurt you.” Jake whispered admittedly, the raise of your eyebrows and the surprise in your eyes almost making him regret telling you.

You wrapped your hand around his, warm. He could feel the unnoticeable tremor in your digits when you laced them through his. Squeezing once. “You’ll never hurt me, Jake.” Reassuring him, you looked straight at him. Allowing him to see the confidence in your gaze. “I know you never will.”

The serpent sighed, inching closer to push his forehead against yours while his tail tightened around your frame. “I’m still worried, but I do want to try.” Lips brushing around yours before he pulled away to let you see him, past his softness, past his worries, past everything.

To see his slit pupils dilate, to see the peek of his fangs that dripped with his nectar-like honey, to fully remind you just what you were asking of him.

God that thought alone made you crave him more.

“I will show you everything.” He purred, “give you anything you want to make you know me. Get your body used to me, to taste me.”

And Jake always kept his promises.

It starts the next day.

You’re in the comfort of his nest, tip of his tail stroking your thigh lazily, he was hovering above your laying frame, close. So close you could feel the swift lick of his tongue whenever it flicked out.

“We have a feeding ritual.” He hisses, voice barely above a whisper as you nod at his words. Concentration fully locked on him, giving him all your attention when he finally gave in to preparing you for him.

He’s inches away from your face, soft breaths fanning your skin as jake continues, “it’s intimate, I will mark your inside with my tongue, and feed you my venom.” You gulped.

Not because you were scared, maybe a small part of you was nervous but you knew about something like this before— a few fleeting articles that were titled with “venom feeding” and if anything, you were anticipating this.

Yet your eyebrows still furrowed, “my inside?” He nodded, “your throat. I’ll mark it with my tongue, claim it as my own.”

“Now let me show you, sweet thing.” And you nodded, he flicked his muscle out slowly this time. The tip passing his lips as his split tongue came into view. Both endings twitching independently as more came out.

His venom infused saliva shined in front of you. The sight of his abnormally long tongue made your mouth water. You suddenly felt a heat rush down your body, settling into your core when Jake showed you just how ready his tongue was to claim you.

Jake smirked at your bewildered expression, the dazed look in your eyes that followed his every move when he retracted his tongue back. “Are you ready?” Without even replying back to another word, your mouth opened for him.

Your innocent obedience making his emerald gaze dilate, your own tongue— sweet and small in comparison to his, lolling out just to show him how ready and prepared you were.

He breathed deeply through his nose, pulling you closer before he hovered his face above yours. And spat.

You gasped at the sight of the wet glob that glistened with his venom. It almost appeared to pulse in your eyes. As if his poison was just as impatient as you were to ruin you.

And when the long string finally landed on your awaiting tongue, you moaned at the flavour. So thick, so warm and sweet. An addictive tingle spreading around your mouth when the venom travelled along your tastebuds.

Your first taste of his nectarine venom, the one he prepared for you, to feed you only.

Jake’s eyes narrowed. A familiar heat awakening in his body when you closed your mouth, humming pleasantly at his venom that your body accepted. He kept trying to focus, reminding himself that something could still go wrong, you could reject his venom, your body could react negatively to it— but you were sloshing it around your mouth like you were tasting your favourite honey.

And Jake knew now that your body didn’t just accept him, it liked him. Enjoyed his taste, the tinge of his claim on your tongue.

“Swallow, sweetheart.” His clawed hands, rough looking but oh so gentle when cradling your face made you have no choice but to keep your eyes locked on his when you swallowed.

Where he stared at your throat, the small gulp of him going down your throat and coating it down on the way— to settle into your stomach, where your body will slowly break it down and he will become a part of you.

That thought alone, of being so close to you that you carry him made him almost lose his mind.

“You took it all so well, angel girl.” You closed your eyes when he caressed your neck, the base of his thumb pressing against your pulse point that sang for him. “You’re ready. Your body accepted me, it’s only fair that I feed it well now.”

And that’s when his tail circled your hips, scales wrapping around you protectively while his index finger tapped your cheek. “Open up again for me.” His demanding tone made you shudder in his hold before you let your mouth fall open again, jaw going slack while jake admired the new nest his tongue will find comfort in.

Your throat tightened around nothing, so wet and warm he couldn’t hold himself back from pushing his tongue out and slipping it inside of you.

His split tips slithered along your tongue. Barbed, wet and divided. You drooled uncontrollably around his muscle when he sank in further, brushing against the back of your throat when you gagged around him, hands gripping at his arms desperately as Jake tried his best to open you up more.

To accept more of him, more of his aching tongue that was about to burst from the amount of venom he held for you, more of his tongue that sent electrifying pulses down his body just from the taste of you.

The taste of your cavern all wrapped around him, trying her best to take more of him in but it felt like he was endless.

“J-Jake..” you mumbled, jaw flexing as it almost began to hurt from the flexion, but Jake was obsessed.

His hair ruffled in all directions, a fusion of your saliva with mixed his dripping down his chin while he kept his eyes closed for a few seconds. Like he was trying to memorise your taste, the feeling of your throat tightening around his tongue. The hot and dripping embrace of your body around his.

“Almost there.” And once he spoke those words— you felt it.

The release. The warm, continuous waves that pumped down your throat. Pure venom.

Poison that swirled straight from his pulsing glands from under his jaw that was altered— it wasn’t lethal, wasn’t dangerous, his body had specifically crafted this venom for a mate.

With the purpose of claiming, of marking, of scenting, of breeding.

It was thicker than the first taste he gave you. Sweeter than the first dribble you felt on your tongue. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when the steady pulses streamed down, you felt the heat radiating off of what you were swallowing, the way it marked its way down your throat all the way to your stomach to tuck itself inside of you. Where it pulsed.

The feeling of being owned from your mouth— your tongue and your throat like this was making a floating sensation swirl around your head. You couldn’t tell if this was from his venom or from the pleasure that you were feeling from having him this close, this connected to you.

But it didn’t matter, because everything felt good.

The forked tips of his tongue stroked down your throat, caressing every warm muscle, every corner and crevice they could reach while your serpent’s venom slipped inside, where you couldn’t help but involuntarily swallow around his tongue.

Jake almost lost it.

You were taking him. A sacred, bonding part of him that he’s never used on anyone like this, he’s never marked anyone like this. Yet here you were, with his barbed tongue so deep down your throat, drool that infused with your spilling tears drizzling down your neck while you sucked him more.

Like you weren’t aware of doing it, like it was your own body’s doing.

And jake continued feeding you. Who else would he feed if not his mate that was taking him in so sweetly? Pretty tight little throat pulsing around him when you gagged before sucking him in more, your muscles trying their best to take him in, to drag him in deeper and to have him continue.

Because Jake knew before you, that this wasn’t just a feeding. This was the start of an addiction.

He didn’t just feed your body his venom to claim you, he did it so your body knows that it’s owned. Knows that it has a viper that will protect it, nourish it, feed it.

And what’s a better way than making you know this by making you addicted to him? By making you crave him. Your throat that he just marked and claimed to need him, his venom becoming the only salvation to your thirst that he awakened. Because you’re his mate.

You’re his other half, you’re his.

It was past midnight when you woke up.

Sweaty, icy cold. Breathing heavily when your entire body tingled, an uncomfortable itch— an uncomfortable burn. A scratch that bled in your throat.

The feeling wasn’t new, you knew you were thirsty, the ache and dryness in your mouth almost made it feel like you were scratching it from the inside when you moved your tongue.

With bleary eyes you reached blindly towards the bedside table, where jake always brought a glass of water for you. Ignoring the shift of scales around your waist when you moved, fingers wrapping around the cooling cup before bringing it up to you.

And swallowing one sip, second sip.

Until you finished the whole glass without even meaning to, but your eyebrows furrowed.

Sleepy confusion clouding your senses when the ache didn’t dull, it continued. It felt like you didn’t even try, the water effectiveless.

Your breathing quickened when the sensation became entirely suffocating. Was the water too little? Was there something wrong with your mouth? You felt yourself almost on the verge of hyperventilating.

Almost, because the tail around you tightened before jake spoke right against your neck.

“Precious?” Voice still laced with sleep, tail unwrapping slightly as you turned around to face him. He could see the slumber slowly fading off your face along with the dampening along your temples. “Is something wrong?”

“My throat..” you sounded hoarse, wincing slightly at the discomfort that came along with moving your mouth, “it feels so dry.. and I just drank water, I think I need more.” You slung your legs down the side of the bed right when his clawed hand held your nightdress.

And then the serpent realised something.

“Baby.. it’s not the water.” Jake coaxed you back into the bed, “what?” You whispered now, the itch intensifying the longer you spent in bed, the longer your mouth stayed dry.

“It’s not the water, you can even test it for yourself.” He quickly reached back and gave you his glass from his side, the liquid sloshing as you brought it to your lips and gulped it in the blink of an eye. Still dry.

Your hand wrapped around your throat in irritation, “then what is it?” “It’s me.”

The serpent sat up on the bed, towering frame hovering above yours as his tail slithered to rest against your hips, “your throat isn't thirsty for water, it’s thirsty for me.” You gulped.

His clawed index ran along your jawline, “you had a taste of my venom, and that’s what your body wants now. It wants me, it knows me. Recognises me as your mate.”

His words, his tone, his slit pupils, his sharp claw— everything felt so territorial. Completely consuming, making you melt against the mattress as he pressed his brawny body to yours. “Your body knows I’m the one that’s supposed to feed it.”

Focused eyes tilted down to where you swallowed nervously, his hand instinctively wrapping around your feverish skin. “So let me feed you.” Jake felt the urge to feed you long before either of you decided to go to sleep, it hasn’t even been half a day since you first tasted him, but he knew you’d crave him again in a few hours.

He still wanted to test it.

To test your body, your senses. To see if you could depend on him, if your body could want him to function. To be hungry for him and his taste. To yearn for him.

Not that he wanted to ever starve you, to deprive you of the one thing his body produced for you. It was quite the opposite. He wanted the bond between you to strengthen, to grow, to make both of you dependent on each other.

He doesn’t waste another minute, don’t want to make either of you suffer because the ache in his fangs is becoming too much.

“Open up.” He demands, fingers gently squeezing your neck when your mouth fell open for him and he sighed. It fuelled him up, awakened an urge inside of him. Whenever your jaw stretched for him, he felt an electrifying excitement bloom in his chest.

A thirst that burned his throat. And just like that he slipped his tongue back inside of your mouth, split ends separating when they reached their home. Slithering in further and further while you both moaned at the feeling.

You gasped at the first drip of venom, so rich, so sweet. Your hands mindlessly reaching to his wrist while he moved to hold yours, interlacing your fingers as he sank deeper.

Going past the back of your throat, relishing in the feeling of you tightening around him before relaxing in acceptance, in recognition before your muscles began to swallow.

He groaned in pleasure when you hummed around his tongue, milking the venom that spilled inside of you for the second time because it was so reliving.

The moment you tasted him again, everything disappeared. The itch, the scratch and discomfort— gone.

Jake was right, it isn’t a thirst for water. It’s for him. The same venom he fed you, the same venom that warmed your insides and infused to your blood in your veins. Accepting him and desiring him.

It felt so intense, so overpowering to have him wrap his cool tail around you, lengthy tongue that fucked your throat shoved in so deep while he still held your hand gently, still kept his other right above your pulse points.

Because that’s where he was now. That’s where his venom pulsed. Right inside of you.

He fed you, nourishing your body and satisfying your thirst as you emptied his glands, falling further into a state of complete euphoria and bliss at being catered for. Limbs feeling heavier with each passing second when you whimpered around his mouth that pulsed more venom down your throat.

“Let go, sweetheart.” Jake whispered, his expression devoted as he memorised the way you looked under him, full of him. “You did amazing for me.. your body responded to me, wanted me. Let go now, little thing. Let me take care of you.” And you were slipping more.

Words enthralling, touch entrancing, tongue feeding. You were completely and utterly bonded.

“Let me fill you up till you sleep again.”

Jake’s scales pulsed around you, once, twice. Each one syncing with the rhythm of his heartbeat that he wrapped around you.

The sleep slipped out of your eyes when you fully registered the familiar warmth, slowly opening your lids to greet his slit pupils that admired you.

“Good morning, little nest.” His accent was more accentuated when his tone was groggy, the slumber still twinkling in his words when he sleepily smiled at you.

“Morning, handsome.” And your big, scary, serpent boyfriend hid his face in the crook of your neck, a specific throb crossing through his tail and your body when his heart fluttered.

He kissed your collarbone while you hummed sleepily, “I wasn’t too rough yesterday, was I?” Your fingers stroked his nape, shaking your head before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Not at all.”

Jake breathed out a sigh of relief as the weight on his chest was lifted off, the nagging thoughts of hurting you, injuring you or worse— scaring you. All floating away gently while he cradled you closer to him, flicking his tongue out to taste the air that carried your sweetness and your scent.

“You should stay in bed today, love.” He spoke gently, tip of his tail stroking your lower back with his velvety scales. “Let me take care of you today.” “Don’t you always do that, though?” He smirked.

“You’re my mate now. I am bonding to you, I’m the only one who should take care of you.”

Jake’s tone was low, his passion, devotion and protection blazing in each syllable. He was a hybrid after all, human to some extent but his soul was a serpent. Protective, possessive, fierce, demanding.

His mate came first, bond second and pride third. The bloodline has been sacred for centuries, rare and unknown. Some believed that it was that way intentionally. The vipers always hissed quietly, presence cloaked with their fanged bared out.

And even if the lions, the panthers, the wolves walked around freely, their bloodlines rare but loud, serpents were always silent.

That’s what set them apart, that’s what makes them dangerous.

They don’t seek, their mating ritual is vastly different from others. They choose and then they claim, and then they disappear.

Hiss along the shadows, hide behind corners where no one can find them. Because that’s how it’s always been like. That’s what makes Jake’s species unlike any other one.

That’s why your friends freaked out when you first confessed that you were seeing someone— a hybrid, a snake.

Because they declare their mates. They capture and they slither back to the dark.

That’s what happened to you an entire year ago.

You didn’t know that Jake’s attention was on you, that there was a certain pull, a tug he felt whenever he detected your scent. He chose you before you even knew him.

And when the shadows hissed darker at night in your room, when your skin became addicted to the cool of scales on it, when all the alarm signs were going off in your friends’ and families heads that it’s happening right in front of their eyes— you disappeared.

You didn’t fade, you didn’t get to say a goodbye, you slept at night and woke up in his nest the next morning.

That’s how it’s been for the past year, this is your home, where you enjoy your time and flourish in your bubble around him. He’s taken you far away, not a place you recognise, the language you still learn till this day but there are no prying eyes on you.

There are no more hands reaching to you to pull you away— just scales.

And you love it, you’ve grown to obsess over it with time.

“Then take care of me, always.” You don’t have to tell jake twice.

He’s nuzzling his face into your neck, breathing in your love deeply before lifting his head and tapping your cheek, “open.” His pupils dilate alongside yours automatically, “let me feed you now before you get hungry again.” And you do, you let him.

Pretty plump lips, still swollen from yesterday’s feeding falling open as he sighs in pride. He can spot the fading stickiness of his venom on the back of your throat, it’s almost time then.

Jake balances himself on his arms, face just a few inches apart from yours before he opens his own mouth, tongue falling out with multiple strings of saliva that pulsed with his poison extending down the length of his muscle, so long, so lethal yet it made its way to your mouth carefully.

The split ends softly brushing your lips when he released. Steady, long and thick pulses of his warm venom dripping right from his tongue and into your mouth, where you hummed in pleasure, in delight. At the feeling of relief cascading down your body in waves the more he breathed into you.

“Take it all, love.” He whispered, his tongue now moving just to circle around yours, still pulsing and still giving. While you only took, swallowing each and every drop. “Keep yourself full, always be full of me.” Jake lowered himself, tongue slipping right against yours before his divided tips touched the entrance of your throat again— just to stroke.

His eyes were half lidded when he spoke “feeling better now, sweetheart?” And you nodded, dazed and full. The heat of his venom enveloping you, wrapping around you completely and gently loving you. “Good girl.” Then jake retracted his muscle, placing a quick kiss to your open mouth before he chased your tongue.

Both of you instinctively moaning in pleasure when his forked tongue dragged against yours, eyes closing when your candied, gentle, human flavour bursted in his mouth while he kissed and nipped your tongue.

You felt the sting of tears behind your eyes, a heat pooling down towards your core, a craving awakening making your hips twitch under him, right when jake began to suck on your tongue.

“Fuck.. baby..” he took more, mouth chasing after your sensitive tongue while you whimpered under him, still drunk on his venom and now he was sucking your tongue like it was the source, “tastes so sweet.. so addictive.” His lips wrapped more tightly, he sucked harshly, relishing in the vibrations that trailed down his throat from your mouth.

Jake’s hand gripped your hip, to stop you from rutting into him, and his fingertips almost burned from the heat you were radiating, so needy, so eager, so his.

Then with a final suck to the tip of your tongue, he trailed his kisses lower. Open mouthed with his barbed skin stroking you to mark and to claim. “I’ve got you.. I’ve got your throat.” He whispered, his lips reaching your lower stomach as he nipped your hip bone, just enough to graze it with his peeking fang. “And I’ve got you here.” Jake spoke right when his hand cupped your mound.

You gasped, a shudder tensing through your body at the slight feeling of relief, of having him touch you right where you need him the most, where your body yearned for him the most.

And jake chuckled.

A deep, crazed rumble of his chest that almost sounded like a purr, his slender fingers deftly stroked your sopping cunt, leaking and dripping when he has barely touched you, and the thought of you being so ready for him, your pretty little pussy wanting him so much that she’s salivating for him? Was making him dizzy.

He hissed, feral and possessive when his claw ripped your soaked panties open, the lace dangling off of it while he let out a guttural sound at the sight of you, so wet, glistening and tightening around nothing as if you’re inviting him in, welcoming him in— begging him to touch you.

“Look at you..” his claws disappeared in an instant, trailing down your folds gently just to hear you whimper under him. “She’s so needy for me..” he was stunned.

Infatuated, so so in love with your pretty hole, his hole, his womb and his home.

“Let’s see how she’ll react to me..” he spoke with the tip of his finger circling your entrance, swirling your nectarine spit making your whole body flutter under him. “She should recognise me now..” you didn’t know what he was talking about.

Because jake didn’t tell you that his venom doesn’t only make your throat crave him, it doesn’t only make your mouth thirst for him and your body to settle when he’s around.

The venom that he created for you, that ran in your veins right now and reached your womb— marks you.

From the inside out, wholly and entirely. You didn’t know this, but he owns you now. Your throat, your womb, your entire body.

And he is right. Because the second he kisses your entrance, soft lips nuzzling into your quivering walls, the first flick of his venom laced tongue just inside your entrance— barely in, just a simple poke.

Your back arched in the nest.

A broken sob and moan slipped past your lips at the sheer force, the sheer strength of the contraction that coursed through your body, absolutely and utterly divine.

The tears that aligned your waterline now slipped freely, your walls fluttered— tightening, widening, convulsing restlessly as if they were trying to milk something just at the slightest taste of his venom.

You felt the way a deeper part of you opened up— your tight, unscathed and untouched cervix pulsing right before flickering. As if the gate was entirely unsealed now, cervix swollen, low and ready.

And jake felt all of it, he felt the way your thighs twitched and jerked next to his head, he senses the way your pussy awakened, your womb fluttering open in preparation for him.

Because she recognised him, a single taste— a short, almost nonexistent slip of his venom and she released.

“Of course she does..” he laughed in awe, at the feeling of your body burning under him, at the breathless sounds that escaped your falling chest, at the way more slick poured out of you like it was urging him in.

The sight, the sense and the scent of everything alone made his head spin. The serpent felt the way his tail twitched in desperation, fingers shaking as he tried his best to not allow his claws to slip out, his slit pupils dilating so far his emerald iris is gone.

He felt the carnal urge, the primal pull that stirred inside of him. The need and the desire, the programmed, biological response of his kind to claim, to worship, to breed. The very cunt that’s anticipating him. Dripping in arousal and hunger in hopes of luring him in with his venom still pulsing through your veins, so reactive, so responsive.

But not tonight, not yet.

Jake will just worship you for tonight, please and satisfy your needy pussy in preparation for what’s to come.

That’s when he slipped his tongue inside of you. Lengthy muscle that pulsed within your walls at every contraction that he felt, you cried. Fingers gripping around the sheets so hard your knuckles paled, a sheen, thin layer of sweat illuminating your body while you fell apart above his nest.

You looked divine, something holy, something completely sacred.

And the serpent wanted to do nothing more than to devote himself to you. Mind, body and soul.

His pretty mate, his loving mate that accepted and thrived off of his venom— writhing under him, twitching and shaking as moans spilled out of your body, pure euphoria overflowing within you while jake retracted his tongue— only to thrust it back in entirely.

Movements sloppy, uncoordinated and mindless as he fucked your throbbing cunt on his tongue that dripped and drooled with his saliva and his venom, your walls clamped down on his muscle, the first contact of his poison right against you made you feel delirious.

Your body drank him in, tightening walls that he fucked were wrapping around him, milking his tongue that gave more and more of his flavour, his taste and your womb’s sedative.

Jake’s tail slashed behind him, his hips rutting restlessly against the layers of fabric of his nest under him. He felt his senses sparking when your taste filled him up. Eyes wild, claws peeking before disappearing and jake was just getting started.

His breaths were heavy as he felt himself unable to breathe. Tongue so deep inside of you, the forked edges dragged against your pulsing walls while his split tips nuzzled into your sweetest spots, you tasted so good, so tender.

He wrapped your thighs around his head with no intentions of slipping out anytime soon, his mouth suckled around your folds, drenched when his nose brushed against your puffy clit, needy and neglected that from one single stroke, you came.

You weren’t even able to process the build up of your climax, nor were you able to comprehend the waves of pleasure that crashed upon you, one after the other. Merciless as jake fucked you through it. Tongue piercing you faster, rougher and deeper.

Until you felt him reach your peak.

The one sacred spot inside of you. Hidden and tucked away so deep in safety, in security. The one spot that jake claimed.

The one the serpent wanted and marked. It belongs to him now, your fluttering, dripping cervix that throbbed the moment his poisoned tips reached it.

And you screamed, the sensation so new, so uncomfortable yet soothing— so painful yet pleasant, it made you feel like your mind was melting away, your head being filled with mush while your body went completely limp under him.

Jake was euphoric. High on the taste of you, on the feeling of you pulsing around him, and right when he reached the opening of your cervix, his place, the one he’s going to surrender himself too, he felt feral.

He’s reached his peak, the most precious part of his mate that he caressed with the tips of his tongue, slicking and stroking the tight muscle that twitched for him, called for him. He couldn’t ever think of retracting himself away, of leaving you alone, not when the sensation of your tightening was so addictive.

He could feel you from here, love you from here. He was able to sense the beat of your heart just because his tongue was touching the most intimate part of you, and he felt his body shake in relief. In satisfaction that this is his home.

Your womb, pretty and fluttery, prospered under his venom. The one he keeps feeding you, rolling out of his glands along his tongue and straight to your cervix, where your muscles pulsed like they were taking him in, drinking him up.

“You’re drinking from me..” he mouthed at your sensitive clit, your cunt was so overstimulated, so used but still restless against his tongue. “Your womb.. she’s taking from me. She recognises me..” he’s completely frenzied.

And you were slipping in and out of consciousness, unaware in a bubble of constant bliss, you didn’t know if you were cumming anymore— all you could feel was the consistent thrumming, the consistent pulling and convulsing of your walls around his tongue while the tips swirled and pushed at your cervix, almost like they were cuddling against it.

Jake’s body slumped, engulfed in elation while your figure rested under him, legs occasionally twitching when he caressed too hard, his mouth and tongue locked. This time on your cunt, feeding his venom inside of you to claim you, to leave a mark so deep it’s almost a wound, a scar that you’ll always carry.

A deep connection, a familiarity between his venom and your womb.

So he kept feeding you, even when your awareness floated away, keeping you sealed in a cloud of pure pleasure and surrender. Even when his muscles ached and his tail twitched wildly, and even when his sweatpants felt so warm and sticky from his mindless release right when your womb accepted him.

He was still inside of you, like a good, responsible and possessive mate that will do anything for his other half. He caressed you, he held you and kept you full while your cervix allowed it, welcomed it, loved it.

You were flourishing with his venom flooding you from the inside, and it was just the beginning.

The serpent placed a big porcelain plate in front of you. Vibrant with colours of different fruits and vegetables, the pretty hues from the berries and the chopped pieces of bell peppers alongside the golden glow of the fried eggs he made so early in the morning.

Packed with protein and filling, just what he needed for his mate. “Eat. All of it, angel.” His words were tender, touch even softer in comparison. He hovered behind you, towering frame that glimmered with scattered scales along his tail, Jake’s built was so impressively massive he could cover you with his body completely.

“I need you to be healthy, at all times. Need you to be energetic and strong.” His clawed finger ran along your shoulder blade, careful and featherlight. Teasing the strap of your short, satin nightgown that he picked up when your body was too sensitive to even move. You nodded at his attentiveness, heart swelling in your chest when he placed a soft kiss to your neck. “Eat well, my mate.”

And you did, fingers grabbing the honeyed toast apart as you chewed, strawberries bursting with sweetness in your mouth as you nourished your body the whole time your viper’s tail stroked your thighs, travelling along the dips and curves of your skin gently. Scales velvety soft as if each movement that was caressing you was kissing your body.

You turned around every now and then to pop a piece of fruit into his mouth, pulling apart your toast unevenly to give him the bigger pieces, and he accepted all of them. Flicking his long tongue out to tease your fingertips that held the food to his lips before he let the edge of his fang graze your skin, just to hear you giggle when he finally took the piece in his mouth.

He felt himself falling closer to you, even though there was barely in space between you two physically, he still was lured towards you. No matter how much he kissed you, touched you and breathed you in he always yearned to be closer.

To nuzzle into you, carve a space in your heart just for him and stay there, safe and protected in the spot that he flourished in. He could never feel himself close enough— if possible, he wanted to bore his entire soul to yours.

You fed him when you believed that it was the opposite, you loved and protected him when you thought that he was the one doing everything. But the truth was that he would’ve crumbled apart ages ago if it wasn’t for your kind touch and loving eyes that gazed at him like he hung the stars in your universe, he breathed the air into your lungs and he brought the sun out to your sky.

So devoted, so in love and so mated.

He adored you, his very being was wrapped around you, surrounding you in ways only a serpent could wrap around their mate. He wasn’t just bonding himself to you, eventually making himself just bonded— no, he was fated to you.

The same way you accepted him, the same way you were fated to him.

A fusion of your two souls, laced with warm blood and sweet venom that glowed between your chests, something beyond comprehension skills, beyond the relationships and marriages you were used too, because you weren’t in love with jake. You dedicated every piece of yourself to him.

And he held each piece with care, a teasing yet gentle hold. Just like the way he nipped your finger now.

“Ow! That one hurted.” You huffed, the serpent’s pupils thinned when he let out a sudden breath, a laugh at your endearing expression while you stared at your perfectly fine finger.

Jake quickly engulfed your finger in his hands, cool blooded heart unable to take the slight pout in your face. He pressed his lips right on the spot he grazed, “all better now, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

The serpent kept you close, arm now cradling your side, tail wrapped protectively around your ankle all the while his own hand fed you from the plate since your hand should ‘just rest now’ according to his words.

And he pressed a soft kiss to your overly sweet mouth after each bite. As if to praise you, to seal the bite inside and make sure that you swallow it.

When you’re done with everything, he presses a kiss to your throat.

It felt like a ‘thank you’ rather than a kiss, a small appreciation for nurturing you and keeping you in his arms.

You cuddled closer to him, a habitual heat radiating off his body that pulsed against you. Making you feel every breath, every beat and every pulse. You were a part of him as much as he was a part of you.

“Jake..” your voice was giddy, calling for him as he hummed peacefully behind you, his lips were gently littering kisses along your shoulder, down your arm and right on the faint throb on your wrist.

And then you felt it.

A deep, carnal hunger, the same discomfort, the same itch from two nights ago— it made you shift in your seat, retracting your arm from his hold like you couldn’t fully breathe for a moment, your body was feverish.

Jake’s eyes narrowed, detecting the shift instantly and flicking his tongue out to taste the air— distress, agitation, thirst.

His tail unwrapped from your ankle, “everything okay?” Voice low, attentive and protective. You shook your head, a dryness aching in your throat. “I think .. that thing is happening again.” The serpent’s composure wavered.

It was working. Your body .. was thirsty for him again.

It made jake swoon. A slight tremor in his fingers when he breathed out shakily, his own body trembling in the need to provide, the need to protect and love.

He felt like he was drowning in you.

“Oh baby..” he cooed, muscular arms wrapping around your middle to lift you off and bring you back to the nest, your safe space and his home. He carried you tenderly, claws nowhere to be seen while his soft palms caressed your skin.

Jake laid you down above the fabrics, the cloths and clothes and the blankets that he chose, his own larger body hovering above you while your stomach churned in hunger. The feeling bubbling up and burning your throat, making you whimper in his hold as he shushed you softly.

He leaned down to your neck, pressing his nose right above your pulse point, each thump making his muscles relax as he flicked his tongue out— little beads of poison glittering that he licked down your skin.

The serpent kept moving, nuzzling your skin, kissing your collarbones, licking right above your breasts, nipping along your shoulders while his palm pressed on your lower stomach— right above your uterus where you felt a contraction pulse the moment his skin touched yours.

A gasp slipped out of you at the feeling, a sudden rush of heat washing down your body as you began gushing, folds soaking through your panties while Jake gazed at you in awe. “You’re already calling for me..” he was mesmerised.

“Your womb .. she’s calling for me again. She recognises me even more than I expected.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead right to the heat source, right between your hips, “I still have to prepare you more for me, love.”

“Still need you to be ready for me.. so you can take all of me.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, words of reassurance and calm spilling past his lips but there trickles of sweat on his temples, the tips of his claws almost fully appearing— and that’s when you noticed that Jake was holding himself back from you.

“Jake .. please.” You whimpered, weak hands curling around him as your hips began to ache in need, a soreness spreading from your throat, to your stomach that felt empty and down between your legs.. where you were practically twitching in desire.

Your nails dug into his muscles, “I need you right now, I need you.” Jake inhaled sharply, his own pants tightening around him, the way you looked at him— with the gentlest twinkle of tears in your eyes, lips wobbling when you begged him to give himself fully to you, to not restrain himself, not now and not ever.

But Jake couldn’t, you weren’t ready for him. He knew this and no matter how much it hurt him— he didn’t want to hurt you.

He’ll take all the needed time to prepare you, to prepare your body for him. So when the time does actually come, you’ll fully accept him instead of being in pain. He could never make you uncomfortable knowing that he was the cause.

“Sweetheart.. you know I can’t. Not yet.” He caressed your jaw, fingers featherlight as they went down your neck, you felt small tears drop slip down your temples that he didn’t hesitate to lick up, the sight of you almost making him whimper with the urge to just fully claim you, adore you and make you his.

“You’re not ready for me yet, little nest.” He mumbled against your skin, tone shaky like his words were hurting him. “but once you are— I promise I’ll never let you go a day without being filled of me. I promise I’ll always let you feel me in any way that you want. You’ll fully breathe me in.”

“But for now, I’ll just keep soothing you with my venom.” His lips were now returning to your neck, fangs peeking past his plump lips that became swollen from the kissing. “Ready, baby?” You nodded your head quickly, tears springing down your eyes fully in anticipation at him finally sedating you.

And then it happened— his fangs sunk right into your pulse point. The sharp tips puncturing your skin, your vein, venom instantly gushing inside of you making your blood flare.

You didn’t even have time to process the pain— the burning wound and sinking of his fangs, didn’t even have time to process the scream that it ripped out from your chest before you fell back to the mattress the moment his poison hit your blood stream directly. No longer being drunk from your throat, it was being injected.

And the feeling was making you intoxicated. Completely drunk in the matter of seconds as you mewled in euphoria, pleasure coursing through you, intensifying with every heart beat inside of you that rushed, picking up the pace when jake growled into your skin.

He moaned when your flavour hit his tongue. The serpent, though not one to crave blood, felt his head spin at yours. The crimson warmth that flushed into his mouth, he was drinking the life of you, the life of his mate.

Then you started to feel it— the more he drank, the more he took, the tighter his hands gripped your hips, the more you floated.

Slowly, faintly slipping out of the embrace of consciousness. Your eyelids became droopy, breaths slow and deep while your entire body relaxed.

Jake noticed all of it. He just venom-fed you into subspace.

The feeling of your body fully surrendering to him, to his scales, to his fangs and to his venom made him groan in satisfaction. You were giving him your complete all.

“That’s right, baby..” he muttered, mouth still so wet of you while you whimpered in his hold, so spent and so high on his poison. The sensation of him flooding you was so electrifying yet so soothing. It was like your entire body was waiting for this again, “go under for me.. just like that.”

Jake didn’t know it yet, but this version of you, so pliant, so unguarded was his favourite. He could protect you all he wanted, kiss you and caress you all he wanted all the while you trusted him just enough to let him do absolutely anything to you.

“Stay there for me, love.. I’ll take care of you.” And he did. His venom pulsed inside of you carefully, filling you up and making ecstasy rush through your entire body that fluttered in his hold. You let go entirely. Not a single thought, a single voice or a single breath in your head. Besides the warmth of his body and the stroke of his scaled tail around your calf. “I always will.”

With his arms wrapped protectively around you and his fangs snug inside of you— you slept in peace. Cradled in the most gentle hold that’s ever touched you, as if you were made of the most divine glass to bless Earth, and in Jake’s eyes of course you were, you were the most precious human he’s ever laid eyes on.

This bite— wasn’t just a simple feeding from him to you, it wasn’t just a bite. It was complete submission, it was dedication and it a confession. All this wasn’t for him, he already knew he had you wrapped around him just like the way he had his tail coiled around you, he knew he had a home in your soul in the same way you owned his.

But this was a mark of love, a promise to the bond that you both created. One that bridged your mortal heart to his serpent one, webbing in between and making them inseparable. And now, each pulse of your heart was connected to his. Each breath that you inhaled to your lungs, he exhaled them for you. Each thought that annoyed your mind, he fought it off for you.

This was past anything that you could’ve shared with another human, and way more exceptional than any mating he could’ve had with another hybrid. Because you were connecting two universe together with each moment you both breathed together— you connected a human to a snake.

A bond that flourished, that bloomed and went beyond any other previous love, relationship or marriage.

You had your soul tied to his now, and you both grew to adore this bond more day by day.

It happens without either of you knowing, without either of you catching on, but the connection grows.

Each night that you spend wrapped in his coils, the taste of his venom still fresh in your tongue and his claws retracted with his hand covering your waist protectively? It blooms.

With every shared breath, it pulses to life. With every exchanged kiss, it stirred like it was awakening— akin to an ancient flame, an ancient dream, a promise. Spoken only between the lips of a human and a serpent, but kept safe. Secure with your love and his scales.

Then it grew, it blossomed. A life formed between the two of you, a new breath that swelled over your relationship, your bond grew. Fully forming, fully developing and connecting you to him, body, mind, soul and heart.

It started off when you were in the den, an open book between your hands while you cuddled up against his hoodie in the nest. Jake was outside, he muttered something about hybrid meetings before disappearing behind the door.

And then you felt a tug— a push at your chest, heat building up but not the good kind, no. You felt angry.

Like something had agitated you, something pissed you off. Something that went wrong.

You sat up right on the bed, brows furrowed at confusion and the way your hands were almost twitching with fury. That’s when the door of your house slammed open, almost getting thrown off of its hinges.

In came Jake. Pupils slit entirely, almost appearing like a thin line as his emerald eyes were dim. Claws full unsheathed while his tail lashed behind him like a whip. He stormed inside of the place, steps heavy and mad.

“Jake..?” You called but his ears were ringing. He didn’t spot your figure walking into the living room, too busy pacing around the area while running his claws through his hair. “Did something happen at the meeting?” When your quiet, calm voice finally registered into his senses, he exhaled.

He breathed for the first time in hours.

An instant relief rushed through him— the same one that you felt as the bond now humming. In satisfaction, in relief at the proximity.

“No.. nothing happened, love. Nothing that you need to worry about.” Jake walked towards you, the anger in his posture fully dissipating when he inched closer and laid his palms on your hips. The touch making him melt against you. “It’s .. nothing serious.” He swallowed heavily.

But you already knew. You felt it.

Shaking your head, “Jake .. I know you’re angry because something went wrong.” Now his eyes were locked on you. “I don’t know what it is.. but it felt like something that you worked hard on was messed up. Like the frustration you get when your effort just goes to waste.” The serpent stilled.

“How did you.. figure all this out?”

“I don’t know, I just felt it.” He tilted his head.

You weren’t a hybrid that could pick up on scent changes, besides the fact that he did storm inside the house with his mannerisms screaming anger, you still knew too much.

“I felt your anger.” You added, your words now making his eyebrow arch while his claws grazed your skin just a tiny bit.

Inching closer, “I felt the way your frustration bloomed in your chest, the way your hands..” you lowered yours to hold onto his, thumb pressing gently against his palm, “the way they shook in anger.”

Jake exhaled shakily.

“I don’t know why, I think it’s this bond thing we have going on. But I truly felt everything like I was the one experiencing.” Your words— you simply didn’t know how much they weighed to jake.

You didn’t know that this was just more confirmation to him that you’re his mate. That the bond is settling in, fully connecting and spreading further into your lives. You felt his emotions when he wasn’t even near you.

Maybe you were unaware, or maybe you weren’t ready to face something like this. But you were already developing a sense of instinct for him. For your mate. This sense, had already existed in jake since he was born, it’s only that now it found its other half.

You were completing him without even knowing.

The bond was flourishing, roaring in love and devotion that only thrummed harder when your mate was close by.

He pressed his forehead to yours, all of his limbs felt relaxed. “It is the bond. You’re not just marked by me anymore, you’re mine and I’m yours. Emotions, thoughts and soul wise.”

“You feel what I feel. That’s how close we are now.” And you only blinked at him in awe, mesmerised by the bond and your creation— this special connection that you formed and developed with Jake with your bare hands, now made you exist within him the same way he will within you.

Over the days, it only blossomed more.

Your thoughts were no longer fully yours, they were sharing a space with Jake’s. And sometimes it was a bit too much.

“I wonder how our kids will look like..” “Jake.” He perked up, tongue flicking out nervously as he looked at you with his eyes widened. “Can you not wonder about our kids when I’m trying to read?” You could’ve sworn you felt just the lightest flush on the tips of his ears. “Sorry..”

“Will i be asking him too much if—“ you’re not even given the chance to continue before you feel a warm tail wrapping around your ankle. Holding you gently as his burly figure slithered behind you. “Never.” He hissed, “you’ll never ask for too much.”

But it was never just your thoughts. Jake started to feel the way you do as well.

Whenever you felt colder than usual, he would cuddle up next to you wordlessly. His scales tangling around you multiple times while he places a gentle kiss on your temple.

The one day you woke up craving something sweet for breakfast, he already had an entire plate of honeyed toast and waffles piling up next to chopped fruits. And he would feed the pieces to you one by one. Glued to your side as he nourished you right in front of his eyes.

With his closeness, the shared attachment and the continuous reaching out for each other, the bond was enchanted. It fluttered whenever the serpent touched a sensitive spot on your skin, buzzed when you kissed his neck.

It bent when he didn’t glance at you in hours. It coiled when you didn’t touch him for a night.

The connection was an indicator and a regulator of everything. Syncing your heartbeats, your thoughts, your souls.

It kept you bounded to jake. In all ways possible, you were his.

That’s why when you woke up one day, with an uncomfortable tightening in your abdomen, a warmth burning your skin and an itch that you couldn’t drink away— jake was by your side before you even called for him.

Because he didn’t need you to be verbal about anything anymore, he felt it before you even spoke it.

The discomfort, the pain and shuddering when your entire body ached. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” Your voice was hushed when you curled in on yourself in the middle of his nest. Jake was on his knees next to you, slit pupils studying your every move— before the realisation dawned on him.

It wasn’t discomfort it was a tug.

It wasn’t pain it was a call.

“My body .. feels so wrong. It feels so odd.” Because it was ready. “Love..” the air from his lungs was knocked out the second you whimpered and he smelt it.

Like a carnal urge awakening, ripping its way to life within him— he picked up your scent, your need. Your arousal, sweet and addictive wafting through the air to his nose.

His split tongue uncontrollably flicked out to taste it, to taste the tiniest tinge of your nectarine in the air. And he groaned when he realised that you weren’t just ready— you were fertile for him. You tasted fertile.

“It’s not wrong.. or odd.” The serpent hissed, now climbing next to your curled body before his tail and arms engulfed you. “Your body is calling for me, little nest.” You grunted at his words, arousal gushing between your legs like flowing slick. “You’re ready for me.” And at that your legs instinctively opened.

Like a welcoming gesture, the warmth spreading between you both as Jake coiled himself around you, his massive arm wrapping around your waist, holding you close, grounding you. While the other slipped down your hips.

You moaned in relief when he mouthed at your shoulder, fingers dipping past your soaked underwear while the tip of his nose brushed right against your pulse point— and he nuzzled closer. Kissing, nipping, licking at your skin to scent you. Right above your heart beat.

“My pretty mate..” his claws were retracted, rough fingers toying with your folds making you gasp in his hold. “All ready for me.. finally calling for me.” The serpent felt delirious.

He felt the way that the desire that rushed through you, was stemming from the deepest parts of your soul. He was witnessing you naked. Completely bare for his eyes, searching and reaching towards him.

Towards the only person you know that will hold you, soothe you and protect you. Your mate.

Jake moved to hover above you, his tail now circling your hips with the tip stroking your lower stomach where the skin burned him. You looked up at him, pretty eyes glossy with expectancy, waiting when your body blazed with need.

And when you felt a pulse, a contraction blooming in your abdomen in pain— you whimpered his name. So soft, so broken and defenceless.

Jake crumbled entirely. All restraint and plans of being gentle with you in your first time evaporating away.

He needed you, and you need him right now.

“Shh— sweetheart, don’t worry. I’ve got you..” the serpent’s tail coiled around one of your thighs before pulling it towards his hips, opening you. His mouth latched onto your jaw, flicking his divided tongue along your skin while you shuddered under him. Gasps and sighs all falling from your lips as waves of relief washed down on you, the bond humming in satisfaction whenever jake touched you.

“I’ve got you.. your mate’s got you, already so sweet and ready for me..” Jake babbled on the lower his kisses went, plump lips already swollen trailing down your collarbone before he ripped apart your nightgown. Claws shredding the soft satin before settling above your flushed skin gently. So careful. “You’re all ready for me.. I can feel it.” He pressed his palm onto your lower stomach—

And he could’ve sworn he felt a throb. Right under his touch.

Jake couldn’t help the frenzied smile that etched on his features.

You groaned in pleasure when he pressed— applying light pressure, his pupils dilating when your scent sharpened. Sweetened. And the throbbing under his palm continued.

“There she is..” his voice was low, so low it sounded like he was purring. He leaned right next to your ear, akin to a predator taunting their prey, territorial and crazed. “There’s my favourite place.. pulsing for me.” He flicked his tongue out to taste you again. The need, the lust and the desire.

He pressed harder. “Feel that, angel? That’s you wanting me. That’s you being my mate.” Jake breathed in, inhaling your scent like it was his air— like he couldn’t live without it. “That’s where I’m gonna be at all times now. I’m going to keep you full. Here. Always.”

Your limbs were weak, the hunger now burning its way through your veins and lighting you on fire. Like a lava waiting just for the right moment to erupt inside of you, yet you only could whimper under jake. Could only look at him with tears in your eyes in hopes of him doing something.

The serpent then sensed everything.

The burn in your womb, the ache in your body, the warmth pooling between your legs— the bond convulsing with anticipation and jake was left gasping for breath. “Fuck.. baby, this is all for me? This is how you feel for me?” And you nodded because he wasn’t aware of the way he had you suffocating in his love. Wasn’t aware that you were drowning in him.

Now Jake didn’t want to do anything besides the exact same.

To cover and wrap and strangle himself with you. He suddenly lowered himself and finally kissed you.

The gasps and moans fell past your lips effortlessly, the kiss was anything but that. It was the two of you breathing one another in. Biting, licking, sucking with your teeth clashing. His spit instantly dribbled down your throat, the venom bursting in your tongue like it just sprung you back to life and you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around the serpent’s neck to bring him closer, to take more.

Jake’s entire body was pressed against yours. His tail thrumming with his heart beat that pulsed wildly, smooth scales turning warmer by the second, you moaned into his mouth and he swallowed. “So pretty.. every pretty noise you make.. every pretty moan are all mine.” He bit on your lower lip, brushing his split ends while tears aligned your waterline, “just mine. Only mine.”

“Jake.. please,” your voice was barely audible, a small, broken sound between all his hissing. “I need you, really bad. It hurts.” Jake inhaled sharply,

And then he unleashed everything.

His hands, that were so gently caressing your skin, held onto your wrists and pinned them upwards. He pushed his body against yours, his tail pressing at your hips after coiling around once— trapping you under him.

The serpent hissed loudly. A light vibration rumbling in his chest that spread to your body, he began to rut into you. Hips rubbing and grinding mindlessly, you felt a poke— a pressure. Of something massive, warm, throbbing.

The size alone makes you choke a gasp out, jake smiled like he knew that you felt him. “Felt me, little nest? I’m gonna be inside you all the time now.” He whispered hotly into your skin. “Gonna let you crave me so much you’ll want me in all the time, everyday.” And you knew that he meant every word. Because Jake always kept his promises.

He loved the way your wetness seeped through his clothes to coat him. Loved the way you were so soaked and so eager to claim you couldn’t help yourself but do it even without him touching you. He wanted you to claim and mark him just as bad as he wanted to do it to you, and now was his chance to bring all his dreams to life.

While you were shuddering and gasping beneath him, his tail uncoiled.

The tip that once rested on your hip, inched closer to your middle— right before dipping under your panties.

You froze.

“Feel me, baby?” His tail thrusted deeper, your pussy tightened around his scales that soothed your walls. Pulsing, throbbing and so hot it felt like he was leaking inside of you. You sobbed when the stretch settled in, so wide it burned you from the inside out. Yet it felt so good. Especially when he pressed down his palm, feeling right where he was. “I’m right here, angel. I’m home.”

You squealed when his rough tip, now soft and swollen nuzzled right into your cervix opening. The small, pulsating rhythm of the beginning of your uterus throbbing at the contact. You sniffled as you weakly held onto him, body completely open and vulnerable at his mercy. “Jake.. a-are you sure this is okay—?” You sounded so shy. So bewildered at what he was doing to you, to your little pussy that could only stretch and drool around him.

The serpent laughed breathlessly. “Of course, baby. You’re taking me so well.. wrapping around my tail so nicely, look how pretty you look all open for me.” His praises fell off his lips like honey, Jake felt the way you clenched around his scales as he stretched you open. Your cunt dripping more and more each time he pulled back just the slightest bit before pushing his tail all the way back in.

Up until his swollen tip pressed against your cervix, and then began to pulse.

Your body twitched above the nest. Hips jerking forward when Jake didn’t pull back, he only throbbed right into your opening like his tail was kissing your cervix. “J-Jake.. what’s going on—“ “shhh Angel girl. Don’t worry about anything, let your mate prepare your pretty womb.” And then you felt the force, the pull.

The suction right against your tight ring of muscles. Like he was pulling your uterus down and making it bloom open at the same time— you felt the way your womb contracted right before dilating at his command.

And at the sensation of the hot, sticky and wet sucking, you thrashed in his hold. Your entire body felt like it was melting away while Jake wrapped his arms around you roughly, to keep you in place when you sobbed into his neck.

You felt so overwhelmed. The feeling was building up inside of you so rapidly, your heart thundered in your chest, struggling to keep up with everything that was happening.

From his whispered praises, sloppy mouth kissing and licking anywhere he could reach, the peak of his claws appearing every second just to dig and then disappear— and his tail. His tail that felt like it was splitting you as it sucked at your cervix, trembling as if to beg for your womb to let it inside. Everything felt debauched, so cruel yet so blissful.

“Gonna make your needy womb all open for me..” the serpent grunted breathlessly next to your ear, tongue flicking to lick the shell before he spoke again. “Get you all pretty and ready for me.. so you’ll be able to carry my clutch, baby.” You whimpered.

Throat hoarse from the consistent moaning and sobbing, eyelashes heavy from the unshed tears, the nest felt unbearable— yet it was also the only place you wanted to be in right now. The air so thick with his scent, with your slick and his wafting pheromones that floated away from his scales. Sweat clinging to both of your bodies, increasing the more his skin rubbed to yours.

Jake felt his senses slipping through his fingers, nostrils flared as he tried his best to inhale into his suffocating lungs. He could only feel you. Only breathe and sense you. His instincts flaring yet calming down at the same time, his thoughts incoherent as an ancient, a primitive hiss echoed through him. Like the serpent inside of Jake fully awakened this time.

With the intention to arouse, to stake, to coil around what’s his.

That was exactly what his body was moving to do before he was even aware of it. He felt so lost, so drunk and mindless with his hands gripping your hips to anchor himself. Yet nothing helped, he felt himself slipping further into the warmth, the engulfing embrace of lust and mating.

He wanted nothing more than to be connected to you in the most intimate way possible. His tail that cradled your cervix, the opening that fluttered around him like a blooming flower— latched on. Sucking and pulling like your womb was its only lifeline. Jake shuddered above you the more his body desperately pulled.

Your legs folded around his hips, pulling his tail even closer when your entire body yearned for him. Thirst amplifying by the second, your skin was feverish. Blazing with an entire layer of glistening sweat. You could no longer talk or speak— you left all the talking to your weak limbs that gripped onto the serpent like he was the only thing keeping secure, keeping you afloat above the sea of need that you both were drowning in.

It felt too intimate, too close, too much. You couldn’t breathe without his hot mouth touching you in some way, you felt your mind shut down the moment his hands would move from one place to another— and jake was weak.

His hands almost frail while his legs trembled. “Shit sweetheart.. you’re taking me in so well.” His tone airy, barely carrying the usual edge to it when he was melting on top of you. You could only flutter around his tail, your shyness still glowing and it made his heart lurch to his throat.

Then he moved his hand, one stayed anchored next to your head to steady himself while the other dipped low. He lowered himself to litter kisses down your neck, whispers of loving, sweet promises all spoken carefully to your skin only. Like it was a promise between him and your body alone.

Jake’s figure was restless. Twitchy, so sensitive. He felt something unfurling within him— something he wasn’t fully prepared for himself. And it excited him and terrified him at the same time.

The scratch of claws against his ribs, the graze of fangs against his throat. He was holding back his serpent from fully possessing him. Coming out and claiming, marking and hurting. Because that’s what his kind did.

It was driving him insane. But you looked so pretty under him.. writhing just from his tail that suckled on your womb like it was breathing air. A singular moment of break would mean that he would starve. His movements were all steady, stable. continuous.

Yet there was an urge to just dig his claws inside of you. To land his final touch and lay his clutch in your warmth— to fully possess you and change you. Witness the way your body will adapt to him.

The effect of him on you.

Jake tried his hardest to hold back, even if he was thrusting his tail inside of you like he was chasing his own high. Even if he felt the way you gushed and shuddered around him when your climax fluttered through you, he still attempted his best to tame his animalistic side.

But serpents were always stronger than humans. He could only do so much with his humane abilities—

That’s why he slipped his tail out in the blink of an eye, his pupils slitting to thin threads when a cry fell from your lips right before he flipped you over onto your stomach.

The serpent was wild. Claws now fully digging into your skin making you whimper in pain, his muscular chest pressed to your back. Pushing you towards the mattress while he held your hips, shifting them upwards to press against his own.

He was completely slipping. Fangs bared, venom dripping down his throat. A deadly glint in his as his breaths came out shallow. The mortal cuffs he had forced upon himself melting entirely when a painful throb spread right from under his abdomen—

From right below his waistline, where his slit slowly folded open to allow his erect cock to slither from behind his iridescent scales— he was massive. Awakened and excited. Way past the average human size, tip a primal red while his base flushed gently with the same gleaming dark emerald of his scales.

And he was leaking so much you would’ve thought that it was his climax instead. Pretty, opaline with infused venom ropes of cum drizzled past his length. Dripping onto the fabrics of the nest when he pressed the head of his cock to your sopping entrance.

He felt absolutely feral. His hands trembling, attempting his best to keep him steady while he teased your cunt. The serpent’s mouth was unable to detach from your body, “mine mine mine..” he whispered with his eyes half lidded, drowning in desire.

“All mine.. my pretty mate, my little nest.” He spoke, wrapping one of his hands around your neck. Fully thrusting inside of you. “There we go..” and you were panting.

He was so big, so deep. “J-jake.. please slow down—“ he paused.

Length throbbing, flaring between her stretched walls. “You want me to slow down.. when she’s been waiting for me?” Jake mocked.

His grip on your jaw tightened, sharp nails indenting your skin. “How could I possibly do that, baby?” Now his voice was softer. Desperate, wet with the leaking venom from his fangs. He talked like he was guilt tripping you, like he couldn’t believe that you wanted him to slow down. Like it hurt.

“Just a little bit— don’t stop, m’not asking you to..” the serpent exhaled heavily, continuing to sheath himself inside of you. “You don’t get what you do to me, baby..”

“You dont get what I want to do to you right now..” his voice was unlike his. Something dark, something ferocious spoke from within him. Thick with malice, webbed in the impulse to ruin.

And you were the victim. You were the chosen one to take. The thought alone made you shiver beneath him, goosebumps appearing making the animal behind you chuckle in amusement.

“Scared?” Jake snarled right next to your ear. Smiling when more tears slipped past your eyes— from the adrenaline that dug into your heart, the swirled combination of fear and excitement— terror and arousal. “No need to be scared, baby.. I’m just here to take care of you.”

He whispered like he was trying to distract you. Like his words could conceal the burn, the unbearable stretch of his serpent cock that thrusted inside of you.

You gasped wordlessly, back arching when fresh tears aligned along your jaw. Every single inch of your body felt electrified while you felt almost suffocated. “Breathe.” Jake growled.

Fangs brushing your ear. You struggled, you felt consumed. Undertaken by a dizzying fog of pleasure and euphoria— so strong it numbed you. “Breathe baby..” this time his thumbs pressed right above your jugular vein making you choke.

“J-jake—! S’too much— too deep—!” “But baby you’re taking it so well though..” you cried when his hand creeped to close just lightly around your mouth. “Listen to her, angel.” And you did. The wet, noisy and obscene sounds of your pussy clenching around him when he thrusted, pulling his hips back for a slight second— only letting you feel his tip before shoving his cock inside of your cunt that squirted in relief. “How am I supposed to slow down when this is how you sound for me?”

He trembled behind you. Legs twitching with his pelvis pressing flush into you. “You’re taking your mate too good, sweetness..” the pleasure creeped right up his spine, the sensation making him guttered. “Too good, baby.. you’re driving me insane.”

So soft, so warm. Searingly hot. Your entire body flushed under him, womb pulsing as the head of his swollen cock kept kissing it, pulling it and pushing it like it loved toying with your deepest, most sacred part. His favourite part.

All the while his hovering figure leaned down lower and lower. Until he had his front pressed to your back. Each breath that left his lungs fanned around your skin. His tongue flicked out to taste the thick air. It tasted so abundant with your flavours.

“You’re all mine, angel.. only mine. Just mine. My pretty mate that I’ll love and fill forever.” With each word he pushed more. He stayed inside more. Each time making your limbs melt further above the nest. Everything felt so good— a spell that he spoke in an unknown, ancient language that only he knew the gravity of before blowing it towards you.

He had you fully under his control. You couldn’t think. You couldn’t speak. You barely could move. You were unable to do anything— and for some reason it felt nice.

It was comforting to have his weight pinning you down. Comforting to know that no matter how much your needy cervix ached, he’ll always be there to kiss it better.

It made you feel so safe. So protected and cared for when your mate worshipped you like you were the only religion he knew. The only one he believed in and the only one he saw.

With each stroke of his slick cock that spilled heat inside of you, it felt like your walls were hugging him back. So intimately holding him close even the serpent exhaled shakily at being so accepted— so loved.

Jake then picked up the pace, the slow, deep thrusts shifting into more brutal ones— untamed and beast-like. You mewled into the feathery pillow. So weak compared to the uncontrollable hissing behind you.

Your pussy sucked him in, cervix moulding around his tip the more he teased it. “Feel me here, baby? Doesn’t it feel good to have me here?” And he pressed on your lower stomach. Caressing the bulge of his viper cock that massaged your insides, he felt every flutter, every vein and every ridge while you cried, so overwhelmed.

“F-fuck yes—! I love it, I love it so much— I love how deep you are in me, jakey—“ you babbled, drunk. Wholly under the altered cloud of pleasure he always manages to form around your head. Jake growled at your tone, so airy. He could practically taste how high on his love you were. “Yeah, baby? I’m gonna be here all the time now. Gonna keep your greedy cunt stuffed of me.” His claws glowed, fangs almost vibrating in instinct.

Mark. Claim. Bite. Ruin.

And Jake sunk his teeth right into your shoulder blade, the sensation instantly making you unravel around him as you milked his cock that burned. His hips snapping against you wildly while your arousal drizzled down onto the nest, ruining everything just like the way you were right now.

Sobbing, vision spotted with your ears ringing as Jake fucked you through your orgasm before pulling another one out of you. Your womb was convulsing. Contractions washing down on your body so painfully yet the waves of ecstasy were stronger.

The serpent then injected his venom into you again. The flush of the sweetness bursting in your veins from the hidden hunger. The unknown crave that just got settled, Jake groaned at your taste once again. Your blood tasted even more saccharine when it was engulfed by your orgasm.

You crashed. Over and over again. His length relentless as it rammed inside of you, fucking into all of your sweet spots that made your body jerk under Jake. “That’s it, isn’t it angel?” He breathed heavily when you squealed right as his hips pressed to you in a certain angle— “that’s your sweet, baby spot. Isn’t it? I’m going to worship it.” And he did.

His tip nursed from it. Pulling orgasm after orgasm from you. The knot in your abdomen no longer formed— you were stuck in a constant state of falling apart while your womb milked his cock even more.

It felt like your body had a mind of its own. So needy, so desperate that no matter how much your mind practically shut down it didn’t care. It was addicted, attached, dependent.

And Jake loved it. He loved the way your pussy was wrapped around him. Tightly, possessively. Unwilling to let go whenever he pulled back— you were claiming him back. Your body was dragging its marks on him, etching its way into his very own skin with the way his cock was tight with desire. The need to unleash and finally paint your insides with him.

So he kept going, because he couldn’t think. He couldn’t process anything. He only felt the pulses, felt the tugging, felt the constant edging of something ready to release, prepared to snap.

“I’m gonna fill you up so well, sweetheart.” The snake hissed, his hand now moving to cradle your lower belly. Where he was going to make you swell with him. His tail coiled behind him, body building in anticipation while his fangs teased your open wound. Where he could still taste you on his tongue.

“Stuff you so full you’ll be leaking of me for weeks. You’ll feel me every time you move.” You shivered at his words. Not because you were scared— but because of how you felt a drop. The lowering of your cervix as it opened more, like a second starved mouth, like it wanted to be stuffed. It wanted to be filled with your mate’s seed.

And when your muscles fluttered around his cock’s head he cooed. “Oh angel.. your pretty womb is just as needy for me as I am for her.” His hand now pressed harder and he felt your uterus flutter back at his touch. “I’ll soothe her.. I’ll satisfy her. Always.”

You couldn’t help the way your body arched further into the bed— hips shifting to allow him to go even deeper while your face was buried into the pillow now. You were still inviting him in even when he was drowning in you.

“P-please.. don’t let me be empty.” And that sentence alone broke Jake.

Then you heard the aftermath— it wasn’t a moan, it wasn’t a gasp, it wasn’t something human.

It was a vibration. One that started from the tip of his tail to the top of his head— a click and then a rattle. A heavy, snapping noise that came deep from within his guts. He was released.

“You want to be filled up with me?” The voice that spoke from behind you wasn’t Jake. The moment you froze in shock— walls clenching in surprise when you turned around and saw him different.

His pupils were in their thinnest form, emerald irises glowing brightly in the dim nest. Fangs fully dropped and dripping with venom that fell atop your lower back, right before melting and being drunk by your skin. His scales were fluttering, a dusty green covering the tips of the ones that emerged around his shoulders and neck, down to his forearms.

He looked wickedly frightening. He looked monstrous.

And somehow that made you want him even more.

“I’ll break you.” His tone was a fusion between a hiss and a deep, heavy rumbling that came from the depths of his chest. “I’ll ruin you completely. I will crawl inside of you and alter you. Just like I did with my venom, just like how you belong to me now.” His words, his mouth dripped with venom.

It scared you. Fuck, it terrified you. Yet you still couldn’t find it in yourself to move away, to escape from the beast behind you. The one that was buried so deep inside of you while you tightened around him, pouring at every word he growled at you.

You couldn’t help the way you pushed yourself back under him— the way you pushed your pelvis back against his, and he laughed.

A guttural, dangerous laughter that made more poison spill out from his mouth. “You want me to claim you just as bad as I do.. you want me to take your soul.” And you nodded.

You agreed because you couldn’t function anymore. You couldn’t imagine, couldn’t think about any possibility or life that doesn’t revolve around your serpent. You couldn’t do it, your mind refused to conjure up any image of you that didn’t have scales. That didn’t have venom marks. That didn’t have chilling split pupils.

Because your own body depended on him now. It responded to him, it recognised him, it knew him. You were marked, you were owned.

You had already given him your heart and body, it was only a matter of time before he sunk his fangs around your soul as well.

And you would allow it, because you knew you were safe. You knew that your mate would make the sky fall above the grass to keep you warm and protected between his arms.

Even if he had you away from the world, even if his voice became the only one that you knew, his eyes the only ones you saw and his body the only one you felt, you would never pick another over him.

You could never not choose him. You could never live without your mate.

And Jake claimed everything. His thrusts turned animalistic. Like he was ravaging your guts, scarring your insides to only accept him. His claws sunk back into your hips, deep and unforgiving. Any time your figure jerked forward— moved the slightest bit from under him— he would drag you back.

Because under him is where you belonged now. “Don’t try to run from me, pretty.” His tail, still coated with your wetness brushed your calf. “You and I both know you can’t go anywhere.”

The scales circled you, they engulfed you in coils. From around your hips, between your legs, up your waist and finally resting around your neck— right before he squeezed.

“Jake!” You cried, heart ramming into your ribs when you felt your lungs burn with need of air. The serpent kept his coils unmoving, applying the slightest pressure. “Shh, love. You’re safe, I’ll never hurt you.” Your tired hands desperately held onto the cooling scales, where you could sense each breath he took.

With his cock still nestled so deep inside of your weeping womb, he turned your face around with his clawed hand. “If you want air, you can breathe me in.” And before you could utter another word— he shoved his tongue into your parted lips.

Both of you groaned at the familiar taste, the familiar feeling and stretch of his forked split ends that instantly latched onto the back of your throat. He thrusted inside of you again, cock tightening in a way that you felt it from the heavy release he kept pushing back.

Jake hummed when you moaned around his tongue, your eyes closing in euphoria at his venom streaming down your throat while his length split you open. You felt more aches of pleasure branching into your body, endless climaxes and orgasms all knotting together as your mind floated.

“There you go.. keep floating for me, baby. Stay under my venom.” And you did, you took everything he gave you. The warm, filling poison and the hot ropes of precum that he buried inside of you. “Doing so well for me.. you deserve to be filled so good.” He muttered around your mouth before suckling on your muscle like a baby.

The serpent retracted his tongue, he babbled as he felt the heat building up in his cool blooded body, his legs twitching, tail fluttering around you the closer he inched towards his climax before it broke— and it shattered him entirely.

He snarled so loudly, the noise shaking out of his ribs when his limbs tensed, scales vibrating as he came inside of you.

But he didn’t cum like you normally expected, it wasn’t a few ropes of his warm seed— it was a flood.

A blazing hot, endless liquid that bursted inside of you. Making you cry at the feeling of the stream, of the overflow. He kept hissing in pleasure, wrapped up in a storm of mouth watering thrill that coursed through him, intensifying when your womb constricted— like it was drinking him up, filling your uterus with all he gave.

You were sobbing against the pillow now, covered in a sticky pool of wetness, of arousal and his flooding that didn’t decrease— and then you felt a poke. “There it is..” it was a swell.

A consistent rising, a bump that formed right around his base that was being pushed inside of you now.

Inside of your gushing entrance that clenched in surprise— in shock when you screamed at the ceaseless stretch. The fresh burn, the boiling warmth of his knot as it sunk into you. All the while Jake kept kissing you through it, shushing you and mumbling words into your ear.

“You can take it.. you’re almost there.” His voice was tender now, after his release the viper somewhat softened. You shook under him as your cunt drooled around the new intrusion, much similar to the saliva that dripped out of your mouth.

And then a final pop! That signalled him fully sheathing himself in. Locking him to you with his seed almost sloshing inside of your swollen stomach. The skin on your belly tight and stretched just the slightest bit at the flood.

Jake was in awe.

His clawed hands that were covered in your drool and your indents hovered around your belly, you were so full of him.. so stuffed just from carrying his seed. “You look divine, love.” He kissed right into the wound he had his fangs in just a few minutes ago.

You shuddered at his featherlight touch. A whirling contrast from his predatory hold. Yet you still melted under his fingertips, still floating and relaxed for him.

“Looking so pretty.. just from my seed alone.” His palm pressed against the swell, “wonder how you’ll look like when you carry my clutch.” At those words, you whimpered—

“I want it..” the serpent stiffened. “I want to carry your clutch, Jake.” Jake’s expression changed.

It became unreadable, you were too embarrassed to look at him, your face still covered by the pillowcase, still sensitive. “Baby.. do you realise what you’re asking for?” And before you could even answer, he felt a throb.

Much similar to the one before he bred you, much similar to the one he already memorised— the one of your womb.

Calling for him once again, even when he had just flooded her. She was still greedy. Still wanted more.

Jake smiled.

“Is that so..” he purred, knot swelling down, the bulge slowly slipping out of you. Allowing his gaze to take in the sight of your gaping pussy— still tightening around nothing, still pulsing, still hungry even when she was dripping in him.

You whined at the emptiness, the coldness that wrapped around your womb now that Jake’s cock wasn’t cradling it— the neediness from your body made the serpent sigh in love. “Still want me so bad.. still wanting my clutch.” His hands trailed down your sides that twitched beautifully under his touch.

He then carefully moved you, laying you gently on your back. His tail unfurled from around you slightly, it still hovered next to your hips. He distanced himself just enough to let you breathe.

“I’ll give you my clutch.” Jake whispered right as he looked into your eyes. Half lidded and sparkling with unshed tears that prickled at his heart. “I’ll give you everything that I have.” He leaned down to press the lightest kiss on your lips. Mouths barely touching when his plump lips brushed your swollen ones.

His claws had fully vanished, hands carefully steadying your thighs to wrap around him once more as he slid in between your legs, this time his cock appeared thicker— erect and leaking but swollen. Heavy, loaded.

The sight alone made you salivate. “You’re so.. full,”

“I’ll let it out. I will let it out inside of you.. I’ll make it easy for you.. I’ll make it feel good.” The serpent hissed into your lips, breath hot and heavy as the steam in the nest practically bubbled. The windows were foggy, the room thick and layered with his scent, his pheromones and your arousal.

And then he sank into you once more— this time easier, this time sliding between your slippery walls that gushed around him in welcome. Jake shivered above you, mouth agape while you moaned right into his lips.

The sounds that formed from his cock nudging inside of you were filthy. So nasty, so wet it made your whole body burn. Your hands finally finding the strength to wrap around his wrists on either side of your head just to stabilise yourself.

“She’s so greedy.. she’s sucking me in so well, baby. You’re so needy for me.” Jake whined as his hips worked restlessly, chasing his high when his swollen cock— filled with his clutch caressed your inside, their new home. “I’m gonna give you my babies.. you’ll carry and protect them. You’ll be such a great mama to our babies.” He muttered before dipping his head into the curve of your neck, right where your blood still drizzled in thick droplets.

Your womb quivered with each thrust, every stroke pulling a breath out of your lungs before he sank in so deep his head latched onto your cervix again. “There we go..” Jake’s words were slurred, you were limp above the nest. Slumped under him while he almost evaporated. So intoxicated on the feeling of your walls milking him, so obsessed with how warm your body felt because of him.

And then Jake felt the first drop.. the first swell that indicated his egg lowering. He pressed his hips flush against yours, the head of his cock fully nursing onto your cervix when you felt the shift— the weight, the round sphere that was moving to be inside of you.

“Just like that.. take it, love. Take it and keep it safe.” It finally sunk inside of you, round and weighted. The sensation so new, so intimate as it slipped past him— right into the opening of your cervix that sucked the egg in. Shielding and protecting it in your womb, making you sigh in relief at the sheer relief of carrying his weight— of carrying him.

But then there was another swell.. another drop. “I-is that another—?” “Yes— fuck i have more to give, I always have more to give when it comes to you.” His pelvis jerked into yours, saliva dripping out of his mouth like water as his slit pupils rolled into the back of his head, the feeling burned him from the inside out, blazed his abdomen in ecstatic fire. “Take it, baby. Take all of them from me.”

This time you cried when it pressed into your cervix, the muscles fluttering softly before sucking the egg right next to the other one. The weight increasing in your womb made your legs shake, another release building up even when your body felt so sore. Your pussy still twitching with Jake deep inside of you.

“Last one, little nest. You can take it, I know you can.” The serpent mouthed at your skin, tongue flicking to lick along your cheek, to catch the slipping tears that fell when your stomach felt so full. So heavy and tight already but he was still giving you more.

His palm pressed against the swell, the forming bump of his clutch being protected by you. Being nourished and nurtured inside of you. His instincts flared, the final egg slipping slowly, the heaviest and largest of the bunch— “f-fuck.. we’re almost there, sweetheart. You’re almost full of me.” Jake sobbed into your neck.

His serpent body overwhelmed by the sheer intimacy, by the intensity of the love he held for you. The weight of acceptance, of you wanting him back. All crashing down on him as he stuffed you with his final egg, the bulge of it making you both gasp as the stretch ripped a release from you, so deep, so carnal.

“That’s it baby.. you did it. You’re carrying my soul now.” He spoke tearfully into your mouth, still so close to you. Still buried deep inside of you, his tip remained nuzzled against your cervix that fully closed now. Fulfilled and satisfied.

The serpent’s palm rested against your stomach, it felt warm. Soft with you now holding him, nestling his babies inside the most precious part of you. “You look so beautiful.. all mine. Just mine, so full of me.” Jake worshipped your body.

Tail caressing the underside of your belly while the snake moved towards you, laying next to your body before cradling you against him. All his instincts telling him to protect. To shield.

You hummed in content. So spent, so tired and so bred. Your heart’s pace finally calming down when you cuddled closer to Jake’s warmth. The serpent’s tongue flicked out to touch your neck, your shoulders, just to scent you again. To surround you with him completely while you carry his clutch.

“Sleep now my little nest. I’ll protect you and our babies.” His whisper fluttered with love, your eyes already closing the second he began to purr for you. Soft vibrations calming your nerves while his scales coiled around you protectively, his palm resting above your lower stomach.

“All mine.” The serpent hissed quietly before closing his eyes.

a,n. holy fucking shit it’s finally done. thanks for reading this fever dream 🫶🏼 & feedback is greatly appreciated ! ♡

[minhaemin]

Bite Me (M)

pairing. alpha heeseung x female omega reader

warnings. non-traditional a/b/o AU, pwp, M/F, pinch of fluff, heavy amount of smut, inexperienced y/n, profanity, morally grey characterization(Heeseung), somewhat bimbo y/n, sneaking around, manipulation, jealousy, possessive behavior, dubious consent but consented(more so sexual coercion at first), fingering, oral, throat fucking, praise/degradation, dom/sub dynamics, rough unprotected sex, slick, heat sex, breeding, cum inflation, knotting, biting. MINORS DNI

preview—

“I’m kind of confused still.” You admit, anxiously shuffling to sit without making eye-contact. Heeseung chuckles plopping down by your side, arm slinging back over your shoulder to keep you pressed against him. 

“I’m gonna teach you how to seduce Jay.”

“How?” You fret. Swallowing the dry itch away from your throat as he leans in close enough to feel the fan of his next breath caress your Cupid’s bow. 

“For starters, come kiss me.” 

“Huh?!” You jump back, staring at him like he just grew five heads. Heeseung grunts, rolling his eyes.

“You want Jay to fuck you or what?” He asks almost boredly, shifting back to rest on his palms. “I’m trying to do you a favor, as your friend.”

Read On Ao3–>

—————————- Part 2: Mate Me (M)

EARLY ACCESS: Available To Read On Patreon—>