mini-mouse - Tumblr blog

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BINGE

two days in a rowwww 😭

i hate myself and i hate oreos

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🦋march 16, 2022🦋

cw: ???

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

fruit snack pouch (70)

lunch

skipped

dinner

chipotle tacos (595)

snacks

skipped

exercise

walking - 20min (-60)

✨food: 665 cals✨

✨net: 605 cals✨

didnt suck today! wasnt amazing but not gonna beat myself up. feel good going to bed knowing i only had one meal besides the snack i need to take my meds. hopefully even better tomorrow

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🦋march 15, 2022🦋

cw: 126 lbs

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

fruit snack pouch (70)

lunch

skipped

dinner

chicken and rice soup (160)

snacks

potato chips (230)

cookies (260)

exercise

none

✨food: 720 cals✨

✨net: 720 cals✨

glad i weighed myself cause it went down! havent been feeling all that hungry and i might try and start restricting more cause im sick and love the feeling of being hungry. makes me feel productive. i need to quit snacking.

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🦋march 14, 2022🦋

cw: ???

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

fruit snack pouch (70)

lunch

sweet tea (110)

a few fries (~68)

dinner

gluten free penne arrabbiata (~400)

snacks

orange soda (107)

exercise

✨food: 755 cals✨

✨net: 755 cals✨

should probably weigh in soon cause ive been avoiding it. my mom is very concerned that ive been turning down snacks but theres nothing but high calorie junk food in our house. still trying!

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🦋march 13, 2022🦋

cw: ???

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

granola bites (100)

lunch

fries (510)

dinner

taco (177)

snacks

skipped

exercise

none

✨food: 787 cals✨

✨total: 787 cals✨

annoyed cause my family is still force feeding me crap. trying my best to restrict but its hard when the guilt sinks in after throwing away a thing of fries that your little brother bought for you. scared to weigh in.

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🦋march 12, 2022🦋

cw: ???

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

granola bites (110)

lunch

sweet tea (110)

fries (340)

dinner

chicken tacos (266)

snacks

toffee bar (60)

exercise

none

✨food: 886 cals✨

✨net: 886 cals✨

i wish i didnt feel so dang depressed all the time so i could actually find some energy to exercise and work off the calories. went over my 800 cal max today and mad about it. my family is practically force feeding me junk…didnt even weigh myself cause i couldnt stand to see how fat i am today

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🦋march 11, 2022🦋

cw: 127 lbs

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

skipped

lunch

granola bites (100)

dinner

yellow rice (214)

taco (198)

snacks

chai tea latte (190)

potato chips (52)

exercise

none

✨food: 755 cals✨

✨net: 755 cals✨

YES another victory today getting to see the number shrink on the scale. i get so close to saying screw it and binging but then whenever i see a smaller number im reinvigorated. proud of my progress and only 20 lbs to go!

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🦋march 10, 2022🦋

cw: ???

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

granola bites (110)

lunch

iced vanilla latte (114)

dinner

chicken (218)

rice (214)

snacks

pouch of fruit snacks (70)

potato chips (150)

exercise

walking - 40min (123)

✨food: 876 cals✨

✨net: 753 cals✨

i have half a mind to count the day as a binge but my net was still under my max of 800 cals. my sense of normal eating is so warped that i feel guilt every time im above 500 or 600 in a day. eds are weird man.

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🦋march 9, 2022🦋

cw: ???

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

granola bites (100)

lunch

skipped

dinner

cava rice bowl (515)

snacks

two cookies (130)

exercise

walking - 70min (-215)

✨food: 745 cals✨

✨net: 530 cals✨

im content with today. back on campus so lots of walking but also feeling the lack of caffeine this morning. big time headache. plus my meds are making me nauseous so time for a new day tomorrow!

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🦋march 8, 2022🦋

cw: 129 lbs

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

sugar free caramel latte (30)

pouch of fruit snacks (70)

lunch

skipped

dinner

chicken tacos (266)

orange soda (80)

snacks

mcdonalds med fries (340)

exercise

none

✨food: 786 cals✨

✨net: 786 cals✨

im pretty steady around my 800 cal budget but even that feels so high. i hate that my disordered brain is telling me that anything >500 cals is borderline binge. maybe ill restrict some more these next few days when im in my apartment alone.

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🦋march 7, 2022🦋

cw: 129 lbs

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

sugar free caramel latte (46)

lunch

skipped

dinner

teriyaki chicken (225)

orange soda (107)

snacks

nerds rope (90)

kettle corn (126)

cookies (195)

exercise

none

✨food: 789 cals✨

✨net: 789 cals✨

lmao im so lazy and i havent had the energy to exercise at all otherwise id be working off more of all the crap im eating. my mom is definitely onto my relapse so im trying to eat in front of her when i do eat. so basically all I eat is snack food lol. glad i FINALLY saw some progress on the scale today. took long enough.

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it’s such a wild ride having a whole collection of mental illnesses cause it’s like

“do i starve myself bc im depressed

or am I depressed bc i starve myself”

“but maybe im depressed bc im so anxious and my body is exhausted”

“but wait arent i so anxious bc of my adhd”

a thrilling saga

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🦋march 6, 2022🦋

cw: 131 lbs

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

sugar free caramel latte (46)

lunch

chicken and rice soup (60)

dinner

pulled chicken (232)

snacks

nerds rope (90)

celery and ranch (40)

dill pickle potato chips (128)

kettle corn (140)

exercise

none

✨food: 736 cals✨

✨net: 736 cals✨

yeah so i snacked a LOT today but depression be like that sometimes i guess? depression is weird cause sometimes it’ll keep me from eating for like three days but sometimes it’s just “hey what if eating every piece of junk in sight makes me feel something” so here we are. still mad that it’s been over a week and im not any closer to my gw but im not losing hope yet

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🦋march 5, 2022🦋

cw: 132 lbs

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast

sugar free caramel latte (46)

lunch

pouch of fruit snacks (70)

dinner

teriyaki chicken (~300)

snacks

mini chocolate chip cookie (65)

exercise

none

✨food: 481 cals✨

✨net: 481 cals✨

i dont feel terrible about today. probably could have worked off some of the calories but im so tired. tbh not sure why im not hungry at all but im not gonna argue. also frustrated that somehow my weight is increasing even though ive been dieting for a week now…?

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🦋march 4, 2022🦋

BINGE 😭

had 1200+ cals today and feel disgusting. lesson learned. definitely not worth the extra junk snacks. i hate everything 🙃

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🦋march 3, 2022🦋

cw: ???

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast:

diet soda (0)

lunch:

skipped

dinner:

grilled chicken nuggets (140)

barbecue sauce (45)

snacks:

tall iced vanilla almond milk latte (114)

exercise:

walking - 70min (-218)

✨food: 299 cals✨

✨net: 81 cals✨

YES this felt like a good day!!! especially after all the crap i ate yesterday. had to splurge some extra calories at starbucks and opt for the vanilla that isn’t sugar free so my friend wouldnt recognize my relapse either but i got a smaller size coffee to make up for it. on campus today and didnt have a scale available so ill for sure weigh in tomorrow

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🦋 march 2, 2022 🦋

cw: 131 lbs

gw: 107 lbs

breakfast:

iced sugar free caramel almond milk latte (46)

lunch:

skipped

dinner:

grilled chicken thigh (~318)

veggie quinoa (~256)

white rice (~242)

snacks:

skipped

exercise:

workout video (~-62)

✨food: 862cal✨

✨net: 800cal✨

knew my mom was taking me out to dinner tonight so I had to get my usual for her not to suspect that ive relapsed but i feel so gross seeing >800. tomorrow is going to be so hard i already know it but i just keep reminding myself how good its going to feel when i can fit in my skinny clothes again 🦋