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minixmel · 2 days

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It’s you I want

(George O’Malley x gn!reader angst Alex Karev x gn!reader fluff)

Details: Nurse Y/N has fallen for Dr. O’Malley, but is overlooked time and again.

(Reader is described as shorter than Karev and O’Malley)

Word Count: 3.28k

You worked as a nurse at Seattle Grace for the past four years. You’ve seen your fair share of interns, some have stayed, some left, some are obnoxious and arrogant, and others are so passive that they get flushed out.

At first, this is what you thought would happen with George O’Malley. There were many times when you were at the nurses station, watching him get overshadowed by his fellow interns. You felt bad for him, and there was his whole puppy thing going on, so there were times when you would help him with his scut work, giving him pointers here and there.

After a while, you felt your feelings grow from pity, to friendship, to admiration. George was sweet, and caring. He would tell you about his family during downtimes, and you would talk about yours. You felt a connection with him that you haven’t felt in a while. But he also talked to you about Meredith. He would talk, and talk, and talk some more. He would gush about her beauty and her intelligence, how funny she was, every single quality was attractive to him. She was everything you weren’t. You knew nursing was in no way lower than being a doctor, but you felt somehow smaller than her.

But even with his feelings for Meredith you couldn’t put aside your own feelings for George. How he would bring you coffee in the mornings, buy you a little snack whenever you were having a rough day, hold you while you cried if you lost a patient. It was so hard to not fall for George O’Malley, and tried as you might you did.

You were venting to another nurse about your feelings for George.

“I just can’t get George out of my head,” you sighed, “he’s just so damn cute and so caring.”

“Y/N, honey, you have to tell him.” your friend responded.

“I can’t,” you shook your head, “not when he has eyes for someone else.”

A sweet voice butted in, “Who has eyes for someone else?”

You jumped and swiveled in your chair to see George standing there, leaning against the station. The other nurse took the opportunity to get back to her work. Your cheeks heated and eyes widened, “How much of that did you hear?”

“Not much, just the end part about having eyes for someone else.” George explained, “So who’s the lucky guy?”

You breathed a subtle sigh of relief to this, “Nobody, really, it doesn’t matter.” You tried to go about your work.

“C’mon, Y/N,” he groaned, “this is the first time you’ve expressed interest in someone!”

That he knew.

You could tell he wasn’t about to let this go. You looked around, hoping to get an idea of what to say.

Eventually your eyes land on Dr. Karev talking to Dr. Stevens.

“Karev.” You stated, hoping he believed it.

George widened his eyes and shook his head quickly at that. “Alex? Really? He doesn’t seem like your type.”

He’s not.

“I don’t know something about him,” you lied, “he’s just so dreamy.”

You internally vomited. Alex Karev was a manwhore and hellspawn. He’s slept with half of the nurses, and insulted the other half. He hadn’t done either in his short interactions with you, luckily, but that didn’t help your opinion of him.

George was silent for a few seconds, blinking a bit rapidly, before he smiled at you.

“How about I set you up on a date with him?” he suggested.

Now you were gonna vomit.

“Oh no,” you shook your head and your hands, “no need, besides I don’t think he’d go for someone like me?” Your chest tightened in dejection.

“Someone like you?” George asked in surprise, “Y/N, you’re amazing! I can’t imagine anyone would turn you down.”

You bit your lip, chest tightening even more. George didn’t realize how he was squeezing your heart, threatening to destroy it. You thought about it for a second before you closed your eyes.

“Fine,” you sighed.

“Alright!” he jeered, “Y/N, I know what it’s like not to be noticed. You deserve this, even if I don’t really understand your interest in him.”

You sighed once more before George gave you two thumbs up and backed away before rushing off.

Once he was out of sight you groaned and dropped your head into your hands.

You heard the swivel of a chair once more, “you’ve gotten yourself into a big mess here, Y/N.”

You turned your head to look to your friend again, “Who knows, maybe Alex will help me get my mind off George.”

Not letting your mind linger on the thought much longer, you went back to work checking in on patients and updating charts. Before long you forgot about George’s suggestion, focusing completely on your work.

The end of the day came and you were getting ready to punch out before a knock on the desk alerted you to the presence of someone in front of you. You looked up to see none other than Alex Karev. Your eyes widened and you saw George not too far behind him giving you two thumbs up.

“Y/N,” Alex smiled, “a little birdie told me you may have taken a bit of an interest in me.”

You gave him a thin smile back, blinking at his boldness.

“Did they? And what do you think of that?” you asked, hoping for rejection.

“I think,” he leaned in, “I should take you out to dinner.”

Your cheek flushed. You weren’t used to someone taking an interest in you, let alone be so forward with it.

“Um, yeah, sure.” you stammered, smiling shyly.

“Drinks tomorrow? Meet here at 8?” he suggested with a sly smile.

“Sure,” you agreed, “it’s a date.”

Alex smiled and knocked once more, walking away.

Your heart was beating faster than you thought it would. Unexpectedly so.

“Sooo…” George inquired, worried.

“We’re getting drinks tomorrow.” you smiled a bit wistfully.

“What?”

“You’re going on a date?” George asked incredulously.

You recoiled a bit at that, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing just…” he trailed

“No, go on.” you insisted, getting a bit heated, “what do you mean?”

“You just don’t seem like his type.” he admitted.

You blinked at him a few times and licked your teeth.

“Am I undateable?” you urged, nodding your head.

“What?!” George almost shouted, “No, that’s not what I meant.”

“That’s what it sounded like.” you countered, “I’m not a nun. Men find me attractive.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Y/N.”

“No, you’re just surprised that he would go on a date with me.” you stated roughly, “You know what George, I’m heading out.”

You clocked out, grabbing your bag and rushed away.

The drive home had you stewing, angry punk music playing over the radio. When you got home you slammed the apartment door closed, thinking of George’s reaction to your date with Alex. He was the one who suggested a date, why would he do that if he didn’t think it would happen? Where did he find the audacity to tell you that you weren’t Alex’s type? You had listened to him go on and on about Meredith, so why was he acting like this when something romantic was happening to you?

All of these thoughts ran through your head before another solidified within your mind. You were going to treat tomorrow like an actual date. Whether you were originally interested or not, you are now. You went to the bathroom to prepare for the next day, shaving, exfoliating, and a face mask. You went to bed determined to make the date successful.

The morning came and you had a shift right before the date. You wore your scrubs but packed your best outfit for after, making sure that it wouldn’t get too wrinkled.

You went about your day as you would usually, except for avoiding George here and there. Any time that you would see him approaching you shot him a look that led him away. You were still pissed off and didn’t want to see him.

The day came to an end and you changed into your outfit. It fit you in all the right places, putting your best features on display. You looked into the mirror, fixed a few pieces of hair and sighed. You were actually anxious, and not in a I-don’t-wanna-go way but in a I-want-this-to-go-well way. Thinking about it throughout the day you realized that Alex Karev was attractive, and even though you had heard bad things about him, he hadn’t done anything to you. You were starting to get a bit giddy.

You walked out to the nurses station and saw Alex waiting for you in a nice pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel. When he looked up to see you, a small smile spread across his face. He took a few steps to meet you where you were, a small gesture but one you noticed.

“You look,” Alex breathed, “good.”

You blushed and smiled under his gaze, “you do too.”

Alex scratched the back of his neck and let out a small chuckle.

“Joe’s?” you suggested.

“Yeah.” he smiled, “let’s go.”

You both walked in comfortable silence, shoulders bumping now and then.

When you got to the bar it was a bit crowded but not too loud. You scanned the bar for seats and locked eyes with George, who was sitting with Meredith and Christina. You quickly looked away and found a booth in the corner, away from the crowd.

You tugged on Alex’s sleeve and nodded towards the booth. He nodded back before taking your hand and leading you through the crowd of people. The action was shocking to you, and made your heart race. Once you got there, Alex sat you down and asked what you wanted. You gave him the drink, he nodded before going to the bar to order.

You sat there and stared at the table, feeling your cheeks with the back of your hand, surprised to feel them flushed. You smiled to yourself, surprised. So far Alex was nothing if not a gentleman and you were a bit happy you decided to go on the date.

After a beat you could feel holes being bored into your skull, you turned your head to see the trio from earlier staring at you. Meredith was staring with amusement, Christina with curiosity, and George with an expression you couldn’t read. They all looked away quickly, Christina and Meredith giggling a bit and George silent. You shook your head, not letting them get to you, and Alex returned with your drinks and a basket of peanuts.

You thanked him as he set your drink in front of you and took a small sip. He nodded and smiled in response. You decided that if this date was going to be successful you had to be bold.

“So, Alex,” you started, “why ask me on a date?”

He looked at you curiously, a mischievous smile playing on his face.

“Well, one, you were interested,” he counted off, to which you rolled your eyes, “and two you’re… admirable.”

You blinked back at him, smile splitting across your face, “Admirable?”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” he shakes his head, “your presence is commanding. You have the respect of the doctors, of your peers, hell you have my respect. You advocate for your patients and you actually care for each and every one of them. You’re admirable.”

You sat there a bit stunned. Alex admired you. He respected you. He saw you. He saw you. For the first time in a long time you felt appreciated and proud.

“Now you,” he insisted, “why me? I mean I do have a reputation.”

You didn’t think he would ask you that, which was a bit stupid considering you just asked him. You thought for a second. Why were you excited earlier? Why not turn down the date? Thinking back on your interactions with Alex Karev, you had an answer.

“One,” you numbered, mirroring him, “you’re pretty easy on the eyes.” He chuckled at your admission.

“And two, you work hard. Harder than most. Sure you walk around all cocky but I can see that you don’t just want to be a doctor, but a good doctor.”

He looked away smiling, scratching his neck again, a nervous habit you noted.

As the night went on, the conversation flowed rather freely. You both talked about interesting cases, hobbies outside of work, traded funny stories. You didn’t expect it but the two of you clicked rather easily. He wasn’t afraid to express his attraction to you and you liked the attention. He made you laugh. Really laugh, even if it was teasingly at your expense. You ribbed him just as hard, to which he would laugh. You couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or the attention or just Alex, but you were genuinely enjoying yourself.

It was getting late and as you were just getting off your shift it was time to go home. You and Karev walked out the bar together, arms touching, practically holding hands. He hailed you a cab and opened the door for you.

“Thank you for tonight,” you started, “it was… really great.” You smiled up at him, cheeks flushed.

“I had a good time too,” Alex admitted, “I would, uh, like to do it again sometime.”

“Me too,” you agreed.

You bit your lip a bit sheepishly before leaning forward and planting a kiss on his cheek. He looked a bit shocked but smiled.

“See you later, Alex,” you waved goodbye, closing the door and giving the driver your address.

You closed the door to your apartment and leaned against it, covering your mouth and smiling a bit. Being around Alex seemed… easy. He was more caring and thoughtful than he looked. It wasn’t hard to like him. The conversation never got boring. As all of these thoughts ran through your mind, you realized something. You hadn’t thought of George almost the entire night. Maybe, you didn’t need to.

You took a shower, letting the hot water run over you. All you could think about was Alex and when you’d see him next. You had the next day off, but you would see him when you worked next. The idea of it planted a smile on your face and butterflies in your stomach. That night you went to sleep content.

The next few weeks had you floating. You and George were talking again after he apologized but that’s not why. Alex Karev was the reason. He would come visit you at the nurses station, flirting and joking. On the occasion that you had lunch at the same time, you would eat together, sharing your food at times. You went on a second date and then a third. After the third, you felt bad about how everything started. About not being honest with Alex. After work one day, you pulled Alex aside into an on-call room.

Your heart was going to beat out of your chest. What if this hurt him? What if he thought you were pathetic? What if he wanted to break things off?

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Alex asked, “are you okay?”

The concern in his voice made you feel even worse, you were pacing a bit.

“I have to tell you something,” you sighed, “I haven’t been completely honest with you. And it’s eating me up.”

“What is it?” Alex placed a hand on your shoulder.

You looked into his eyes and frowned before looking down.

“So our first date,” you started, “you know how George told you I was interested in you? I wasn’t. I had feelings for George and he walked up on me talking about it and asked who I was talking about and I said you and I didn’t expect him to set us up. But I really did want to go on that date with you and I really did enjoy it, and it’s not just me getting over him I really really like you, and I felt so bad not being honest.”

“Y/N-“ he interrupted.

“Please don’t hate me.” you pleaded.

“Y/N!” He put both of his hands on your shoulders, “I know.”

“What?” you breathed.

“I know you had feelings for George,” he confessed, “I could see the way you looked at him. I was surprised when he said you had feelings for me. I figured I’d ask you out, you’d say no, and that was that. But you said yes, and I had the best time. And then we went on a second date and suddenly, you didn’t look at George the way you used to. I don’t care if you had feelings for George, as long as I’m the one you want now.”

You smiled up at him wistfully, bringing his face down to yours for a kiss.

You had kissed before, but they were just a few quick pecks at the end of the date. This was something more, it was soft and deep. Passionate but not lustful. It was everything you could have ever hoped it would be. The two of you broke away and you looked up at him, arms around his neck, “Alex Karev, you are the one I want.” He smiled before leaning down and kissing you again.

That day was the day your relationship with Alex truly started. He introduced you officially to the rest of the interns, aside from George, who you already knew. You’d sit with the five of them during lunch from time to time. There were times when you would catch George looking at you weird or rolling his eyes at you and Alex.

All of this came to a head one day when George caught you as you were about to leave. You were going to have a movie night with Alex, the two of you holding hands about to walk out the door.

“Y/N,” George called as he jogged up to you, “I need to talk to you.”

You looked to Alex and told him to go ahead, giving him a kiss on the cheek before approaching George.

“What’s up George?” you asked.

He pulled you aside into a on-call room for a bit of privacy. He looked around and took a heavy sigh.

“Break up with Karev.” he stated, as if he were mentioning the weather.

“I’m sorry, what?” you almost shouted.

“Look, Alex isn’t right for you,” he explained, “I didn’t realize it before but.. Y/N I want you. I need you.”

You stood there, staring at the man in front of you, trying to find any hint of a joke in his expression. When you couldn’t find any you felt a wave of anger wash over you.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you actually shouted this time, “you need me? I fucking pine after you for months, listening to you gush about Meredith, and now that I’m happy with Alex you fucking NEED me. No. No, I can’t, George. You are far too late. Alex actually sees me. He’s direct and makes me feel secure. He’s loving and caring and funny and I can’t go through what you put me through again. I can’t.”

You turned around and left the room, slamming the door behind you. You sped out the door and into the parking lot, seeing Alex waiting for you by his car. You walked up and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“I’ll tell you when we’re home, you’ll thank me later.” you smiled up, kissing him.

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minixmel · 18 days

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inbetween | spencer reid

good riddance x spencer reid one shot series master list

summary ; after months over talking over email, you and spencer finally meet in person.

warnings ; reader & spencer fall in love over emails, meeting in person, insecure reader, insecure spencer, worries about not being enough, pretty much just pure fluff tbh.

an ; in between yall. this song. this is the first oneshot in the good riddance x spencer reid one shot series!! while i waiting for the poll to finish!!

part one, part two, part three

‘I just can't come between 'em, they got their own thing I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring. For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two. two hearts just fallin' in and out of love for somethin' new. ‘i wish that you could see 'em, their faces lighten up their past is cold and empty, they know it's been enough of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn't care but he knows her name, she knows he'll always be there’

The email rang up at exactly 5:30, exactly when you expected it to. You were sitting at your desk at work, knees pulled to ur chest as you spun on the desk chair. Your coworkers paid no mind to your antics, after working in the safe office for years, with each other. They were used to it by now.

You chewed at your lip as you refreshed your email when the clock changed to exactly 5:30, a wide smile dawned your face when you read the email, you heart ached with longing as your eyes traced over the words on the screen, your stomach tightening and your heart clenching.

Sent from [email protected] at 5:30pm

Hi.

I don’t know when this will send because I’m writing it while on the jet, probably as we get lower and more towards landing, I’ll spare you the scientific details. We only got back from a case this morning, early. Which is why it has taken me so long to reply. Im sorry.

We got a case in Maryland, which I remember you telling me, is where you live. I know I should probably just ask for your phone number but I kind of enjoy the emailing thing. It’s a lot less nerve racking because I can try to pass it off as professional, even though a lot of the time our conversations aren’t.

I actually don’t think we have ever had a professional conversation. Which is a good thing. I really enjoy our conversations no matter what we are talking about. I really enjoy talking to you.

I hope this isn’t too forward but I wanted to know if theres any chance I could see you while I’m in Maryland for this case. I don’t know when it would be or how long I’d be able to see you for, but I do really want to see you. If thats okay with you.

I guess I should give you my number, so you know I’m not some creepy old man. That would be ironic since I work at the FBI and my job is to stop people like that… I don’t know.

Heres my number, 023387677

Love, Spencer.

Your stomach tightened at the idea of seeing him in person. You never admitted it, but you knew he wasn’t an old man, you knew exactly who he was. You made the decision to google his name 6 months ago, when the two of you first started emailing back and forth after he accidentally sent a work email to the wrong person and you replied. It started as just telling him he had sent it to the wrong person, then he thanked you and apologised and made a joke and then the conversation just flowed.

You had been having conversations with Spencer Reid for six months and you felt like you knew more about him than you did yourself. He told you about his day, and about things he had been through, He opened up to you about his addiction and his mom and you opened up to him about your own trauma and issues.

Spencer Reid was your best friend and you had never met him. You had never even heard his voice. You only had seen his face on google when you searched up ‘Spencer reid FBI’ and a photo came up, he looked younger than you assumed in it, seeing the photo was from a few years ago. You felt slightly bad since you knew he could google you and probably come up empty handed — you had the upper hand.

You look at the clock as it inches closer to six o-clock when you finish work. A boring office job, you often complained to Spencer about. It was ironic since his job literally traumatised him, and yet you complained about the boring desk job, although he never ever compared, he would listen and comfort you after a bad day no matter what, just like you did for him.

You don’t reply to the email he sent as you typed the number he sent into your phone, saving the contact under ‘spence’ The nickname that had developed only weeks into the two of you talking. You send him a text, letting him know it was you, saying hi.

“Phone.” You hear your boss, warning you about using your phone at work, you lift your head an apologetic smile on your face as you close your phone, placing it face down on your desk as you close your email and return to your work after muttering out a sheepish, ‘Sorry!’

Spencer is sitting in a conference room of the police station in Maryland. He didn’t know it but he was only two blocks away from the office you worked. He never usually cared to check his phone while working — nothing could be as important as the case.

Until you, until now.

He found himself hanging out to feel the buzz in his pocket, he found himself checking his phone just in case maybe he missed the message. Just in case you did message.

He also checked his email a lot.

“Whats up with boy wonder?” Derek asked as he spun a chair to sit on it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair as he looked around at the other team members. Spencer focus on anything other than the case.

“He gave mystery girl his number” Emily said, patting Spencers shoulder softly to get his attention as she walked past him, placing a coffee down in front of him. Spencer noticed how it was his normal order — despite the fact lately he had been getting your order, after he found out what it was. It made him feel a little bit closer to you.

“Oo, Okay lover boy.” Derek hummed approvingly, raising his eyebrow slightly as he looked down at the boy. Spencer sighed as he let back in his chair, tossing his phone on the table as he checked to get no message. “Nothing yet?” Emily asked, knowing Spencer had been stressing since he sent the email on the jet, nearly two hours ago.

He didn’t know it hadn’t even delivered until a few minutes ago.

“Shes probably just busy” Spencer muttered as he checked his watch for the time. 5:33pm, you’d be at work.

Derek shared a look with Emily, both with teasing smiles on their faces. They had watched Spencer obsess over the girl for the past 6 months, even after he tried to hide it for the first few. He did a horrid job, they all noticed him smiling at his computer and typing away more often than ever, they noticed his focus slight adverted. It took a bit but they eventually got it out of him when you didn’t email him back for a week and he was going insane with worry that maybe you were ghosting him, or that you were hurt.

He confided in his team, you emailed him a few days later saying your wifi went down and none of your emails were going through. He was instantly relieved.

His phone buzzed on the table, 5:35pm. His hand instantly reached out for his phone. His eyes widened and his lip twitched upwards as he read the message that lit his screen.

“And lover boy is in” Derek whispered to Emily, loud enough that Spencer could hear that only ended up in Spencer sending him a glare, before typing out a reply and sending it, asking to call you tonight when he got finished.

“Alright, We got a lead” Hotch said entering the room.

You leant against the back of your head board, your hair wet and dripping down the back of your neck as you waited nervously for call to ring through your phone. You were almost terrified of what the conversation might hold. You were glad you were calling before you agreed or disagreed to meeting him, you could feel out whether or not it might be awkward or not.

You almost jumped out of your skin as your phone started ringing, anxiety pooled in your stomach as your skin flushed hot, causing the drops of water on the back of your neck feel as if it was burning the skin. You reached out for your phone that rested on your bed side table, answering the call.

“Hi.” You muttered out a breath of air. You couldn’t even help but smile as the realisation dawned on you. You were talking to Spencer. Finally, actually talking to him.

You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone before some shuffling. “Hold on” He mumbled out, you stomach fluttered at his voice as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you bit back a smile.

“Okay.” You said, you heard some more shuffling before the sound of a door closing, then a creek. And then a breath.

“Hi” He settled on, you sat up a bit, crossing your legs as his word came out almost breathy and nervous. It made your chest thump against your ribcage so much it ached. “Sorry— I should’ve waited till I was in my hotel room to call, I was excited— Sorry” He said.

You could hear the nerves in his voice and all it did was make your cheeks beat a rosy hue. “It’s okay. I was nervous” You admit softly, you try to hide the slight embarrassment in your voice but it fails you as your words come out small.

You hear him chuckle. You think the sound genuinely makes your mind fall empty of any coherent thoughts. “You don’t have to be nervous” He spoke so softly as if his words were an exhale he had been holding in.

“But I am” You muttered.

“Me too.” He said honestly. You found comfort in the fact he cared enough about this interaction to be nervous about it. You went to run your hand through your hair but paused with you felt the coldness — it was still very wet from your shower.

“Good” You sighed out, voice almost a whisper. You didn’t know why you were speaking so quietly, there was no one else in your house. There was no reason to be as quiet as you were.

“Is good that I’m nervous?” Spencer asked, you could hear the teasing in his voice. It made your head spin and the words get caught as you shook your head, before remembering he couldn’t see you.

“Yes- No- no. No.” You muttered out, “Its uh- Its not good that your nervous— I- Its just good that you care” You scrambled out, stuttering over your words as you grew flustered. It made you want to turn into your pillow and scream.

You heard him laugh, making your face screw up. “Shut up.” You muttered out as it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was laughing at you scrambling over your words, your free hand came up to cover your face as your cheeks felt on fire.

“No- Im sorry. Im sorry. Of course I care, you know I care” He said softly as he collected his laughter, his voice dripping honesty for a moment as he spoke genuinely in a way that made your knees feel weak — Thank god you weren’t standing. You were silent for a moment as a smile dawned on your face.

“Tell me about your day.” He requested gently. You heard some more shuffling you could only assume he was getting comfortable in bed. You pictured it and it made your stomach burn with longing. Wishing it wasn’t just an image in your head.

And you did, you told him about your day and he told you about yours; the conversation flowed simply and sweetly from then on. He teased you whenever you stuttered over your words, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

You and him spoke until your voice was quiet and drowsy with sleep, until your eyes were fluttering shut and you went unresponsive for a moment before he asked if you were asleep and you would wake up to the sound of his voice, muttering out a no, to which he would chuckle, and tell you to go to sleep.

When you fell asleep, he waited ten minutes to make sure you were really asleep before hanging up. His heart full as he fell asleep smiling.

Sorry I fell asleep. If i didn’t throw you off completely and you still want to see me, im free any day after 6, when i finish work.

Spencer smiled at the message. The acceptance. You were accepting meeting him, seeing him. He couldn’t fathom the idea of anything you doing ever throwing him off. You had wiggled your way into his chest months ago, and you stayed consuming every part of him everyday since. He didn’t see that changing any day soon, or ever.

He sent you an address to a bar Derek suggested the team going to after work. He didn’t know if maybe it was too forward, or might be awkward with his team there, but at least if it didn’t go well there was people around.

He closed his phone as he waited for your reply, his mind replaying the conversation he had with you last night, how sweet you sounded, how your laugh made his heart clench, how whenever you said his name or spoke a little louder he felt light headed, unable to focus on anything but you.

There was anxiety in his stomach when he realised the two of you never quite talked about what it all meant. What the months of conversation back and forth was. He realised he didn’t know what you wanted. What you expected.

Maybe you just saw him as a friend, maybe to you the conversation is nothing more than friendly. Honestly, if that was the case Spencer didn’t think he would be able to deny you of that. He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if it caused a slight ache in his chest. He had told you things he couldn’t imagine telling anyone else, he trusted you in a way he didn’t know possible, and it may be stupid, maybe naive, but Spencer didn’t care.

The way he felt for you took over any ounce of doubt in his mind, it overtook the insecurity welling in his mind, that maybe you wouldn’t like him, not the way he liked you.

He had never felt so much for a person. He had never felt so much point blank. He could hardly fathom you feeling for him near the amount he felt for you.

Your hands traveled over your jeans softly as your palms grew sweaty as you stepped inside the bar. Thanking the guy you held it open for you as he walked out. You were instantly overwhelmed by the amount of people, the music playing and the people chatting. You probably should have gotten changed first instead of coming straight after work but you were too nervous and didn’t want to give yourself time to dwindle in your insecurities then chicken out.

You manoeuvred your way through the people, quiet apologies leaving your lips as you looked around for Spencer, or anyone who looks like they might be an FBI agent.

What does an FBI agent look like? you thought, as you let out a sigh, finally getting out of the crowd of people as you got to the back of the bar, a lot more free of space. A few people around, standing at tables. You skimmed over for a moment as you tried to catch any glimpse of the boy that you could.

You heard your name, making you spin on your heels. You saw a dark haired girl smiling at you. Well that isn’t spencer.

“Yes?” You said, smiling at her as you tried to hide the anxiety building in your veins. Your hand coming to push hair off your face softly as you try to focus on the girl in front of you. She grins widely, “Spencer is over there, you looked like you were looking for someone…” She said, my smile instantly widened as you looked over to where she nudged her head.

your breath got caught in your throat as your eyes settled on him, the photo didn’t do him justice in any way. His hair was messy and slightly grown out, he was engrossed in a conversation with who you could only assume was Derek Morgan, who Spencer had told you about. His tie was crooked in his suit as he lifted his arm to sip the drink in his hand.

you tear my eyes away as you look at the lady who is smiling at you. “Happy with that?” She asks. It takes you a moment to recognise her as Emily, whom Spencer had also told you about. You can hardly put it into words how your chest feels like its gonna explode as your heart thumps.

“He is gorgeous.” You breathe out, shaking your head as words fail you, your eyes trail back to him for a moment to see him laughing, you see his head turn towards the door, as if he is waiting for you to walk through them.

Emily smiles, patting your shoulder softly, “Cmon Mystery girl” She said, you pay little attention to the nickname as she encourages you to walk towards the table with her. Your legs feel like Jelly with every step that you take, your stomach twisting in the familiar feeling of anxiety.

When she pauses at the table your breath hitches. “Oi Reid” She mutters, both he and Derek turns their head towards her, “Look who I found” She says softly, hand brushing over your shoulder.

Spencers eyes skip over to yours and you watch an emotion pull his features. An emotion you can’t quite place and it makes your stomach ache at the uncertainty, insecurity creeping up the back of your neck.

“Hi” You breathe out as you look at him. Theres a moment of silence before he is pushing away from the table and walking around to you. His arms around you the moment you are in reach and it makes your muscles tense slightly before relaxing completely in his hold as you wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him back.

Emily and Derek watch in amusement for a moment, smiling when they see the look on Spencer’s face. The one you couldn’t place the one they knew all too well.

He was in love.

He was in love before seeing you, he knew that but watching you stand there grinning at him made him all the more sure about it. His hand rested on your waist as he pulled back from the hug to look at your face.

“Hi” He whispered back.

You chewed at your lip at you bit back the wide smile that tried to force its way into your features. His hand traveled up to your face before he could stop it hand cupping your face gently.

You eased, leaning into his touch the warmth of his hand feeling gentle against the soft skin of your cheek. “Y-You- I- Hi.” He stuttered this time.

You grinned, “Cat got your tongue?” You ask, teasing him like he would every-time you stuttered over the phone. He just grins in response.

“No. You’re beautiful” He said, eyes dancing over your face, he looked at you like he was trying to memories every little detail. Your stomach tightens and your knees felt weak as the compliment left his mouth. You had been told that before, but it felt different coming from him. He said it with honesty and sincerity.

“So are you” You said back before hugging him tightly again. He didn’t complain at all, instead his arms fell tightly around your waist as he held you against him, as if he was scared that if he let go you would disappear.

The night went on, you stayed by spencer’s side, his hand on yours or around your shoulder gently as if he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of you being next to him. You never complained — you took it all as a compliment and leant into his touch.

“Are you cold?” Spencer asked as you and him walked outside of the bar, hand in hand. he noticed the way you shivered as the cold hair hit the skin of your bare arms. You turn your head to look up at him, the look in his eye enough to make your chest clench around the fat of your heart.

“A little” You admit. It was nothing you couldn’t handle, but spencer was instantly pulling off his suit jacket for you, slugging it gently over your shoulders as the two of you walked down the street. You paused in your steps as you looked up at him.

“Thank you.” You say.

“Its okay- I don’t want you to be cold” He said softly. You couldn’t help but smile at his kindness, but you shook your head. “For that too— But I meant, for asking to see me. Thank you for thinking of me when you heard about where the case was — for talking to me everyday. Thank you for being my best friend Spence” You said softly as you lean against your car as you and him stop in front of it.

His lip twitches upwards into a smile as his hand drops yours instead resting softly on your lips. “I always think of you.” He admits, eyes on yours.

Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat. “Spencer.” You say softly.

He looks at you, really looks at you. He is seeing you. He is seeing every little thing you have told him over the last six months, every little detail about you there was to know, and all he could think about was he wanted more, he wanted to know you more.

“Yeah?” He says, his voice a whisper.

You feel anxiety pool in your stomach as the question lingers on the tip of your tongue. There was a pull towards him you couldn’t ignore, the same pull you felt when you received his email, six months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago. You’d count the hours but you figured that was more his style.

“You can say no, I want you to know that” You said, you wanted to make it perfectly clear that his response to this was completely up to him and you didn’t want to feel pressured. “Can I kiss you?” You ask.

His lips are on yours before you can even finish the question. One hand of his travelling to the small of your back to bring you in closer while the other tangles in your hair, cradling the back of your neck. Your hands instantly cup his face as you press your lips against him. Your lips together saying more than words ever could.

This, right here, him, right now.

It was everything and more.

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