minkxf

[minkxf]

Jay Bird

All this time you feel as if all events are happening in a fog. There are no memorable events at all, so the last 8 years look like nights for you. So cold that it chills right to the bones. So cold that any spark of joy immediately extinguishes. A desire flashes through your head for all this to happen faster to dissa… | ++Stress

“Jay!” A loud, cheerful voice immediately brings you back to reality, allowing you to understand where you are. The school cafeteria is full of noisy conversations. “Do you mind having lunch with me?” His voice again sounds brighter than the others, allowing you to focus your attention. | +Hope -Stress

You have already forgotten about the only light that is trying to warm you. “Sure, Robin. Suit yourself.” The red-haired guy who is sitting next to you right now and talking about the new games that have been released on his favorite console is definitely the person whose company you will be happy with? Yes, that’s probably what this feeling is called. He doesn’t make your head hurt, and his monologues allow you to learn something new from school life. He also remembers the past “golden time”; Robin is clearly nothing but a positive influence, so it makes sense to keep him around. | -Stress

Even though you hardly look at him, an involuntary smile appears on your face. And, no matter how strange it may sound, you don’t want to hide it. “Have you started studying for your science project yet, jay?” You nod your head, lazily picking your food. Still, there was no need to spend money on today’s lunch; the food still wouldn’t go into your mouth. “Even if I don’t start preparing in time, I’ll still get a good mark. You know, I’m good with it.” Robin actively nods his head, agreeing with your words. It seems that he’s talking about how lucky you are with this, but you stop listening. Once again plunge into your thoughts. | +Hallucinogen -Stress

Taking in your state, Robin falls silent. He's not offended, no. You've known each other too long to throw insults at something like that. Sometimes time passes, and Robint tells you that he will go to class first since he needs to repeat the material. You just agree to this by letting your friend go.

“Here you are!” You hear it at the exit from the cafeteria. Your “social circle” decided to please you with their attention. A rehearsed bright smile appears on your face, after which you approach them. | ++Stress -Hope

They are chattering something about how the whole company needs to gather at the forest lake. Wanting to quickly get away from them, you lightly grab your head, making a painful expression on your face. “Sure, I’ll go with you… But can I to the infirmary now? I have had a headache since English class, so I don’t think I can bear it now..” There were practically no lies in your words. Your head really hurt. Just not from the beginning of the English class, but all day. Whole week. All 8 years without stopping. Perhaps it is precisely because of this pain that it seems to you that everything is as if in fog. Although this is to your advantage; you're not really interested in spending time with these people anyway. | +Stress

Receiving a sad agreement in response, you quickly head towards the infirmary, along the way saying hi to several more of your.. friends? Is it possible to talk about them like that if you don’t consider them as such? In any case, it will be true as long as they think so. When you reach your destination, you knock on the door several times, only then going inside.

“Excuse me..can you give me some painkillers? I have a bad headache.” Receiving the nurse's gaze, you only squeeze out a semblance of an apologetic smile, after which you sit down on the daybed. “Just don’t get carried away with it. If you take too many pills, expect side effects.” The woman says sternly, drawing the curtain. You drink a painkiller and then fall onto the white pillow, immediately closing your eyes. Have these “side effects” ever scared anyone? That's kind of stupid. Your eyelids gradually become heavier and heavier, causing sleepiness to catch up with you. You hum quietly under your breath, not resisting at all. Perhaps at least this time you will dream of something good? | ++Hallucinogen -Trauma -Stress

Get off the daybed (0:01)

> Get a bit of rest (0:30)

// In my culture jay birds represent the path to happiness. Many women embroidered these birds on their clothes, wanting to acquire a faithful companion on the path to happiness. However, is this true, or just a stupid symbol?

[minkxf]

The distant memory

The cold wind burns your face, causing your delicate skin to turn red. Breathing becomes difficult; trying to get more oxygen into your lungs, you run along a snowy forest path, trying to reach the city lights. A howl is heard in the distance. | +Stress +Trauma

They are so close. You trip over a tree root in a moment, falling onto the cold blanket. | +Stress ++Pain

This is the end? Closing your eyes you are already resigned to your fate, but a warm feeling on your hand brings you back to reality. The girl whose face was so clearly visible in the night forest; the girl who was with you all this time. You've been by her side all your life. Your ray of warm light. She pulls you up, helping you to your feet. | ++Hope

“Listen, Renee, right now you have to keep running forward.” She nods to the side before pulling you towards her, hugging you lightly. “I’ll catch up, okay? Now go." This girl lets you go, pushing you in the back with her hand. And you obey her, running towards the city noise. You involuntarily look over your shoulder hoping to see her running after you, trying to ensure safety from behind. | +Hope +Control

However, there is no one there. Only bloody footprints are visible that lead somewhere to the side. You think to yourself that she just decided to take a different path to confuse the wolves. Who knew that this was the last memory of her; the last time you heard her voice, saw her face. That day you were left without your savior, without your sister. | +++Trauma

For a few days, you still hoped they could find her. The police and volunteers explored the forest, trying to find at least some traces of that girl. And they found it. Bloody puddles here and there, pieces of torn fabric and fluff that were in her winter overcoat. The body was never found. There was only one solution - declare your sister dead. It was much easier that way; even if she managed to run away from a pack, she simply would not have survived in the cold forest on her own. The world seems to be divided into “before” and “after”. She will no longer wake you up with a light tickle, she will not go to school with you arm in arm. There will be nothing more. Now the person who helped you cope in the orphanage is no longer there. Now you are all alone here. | ++Stress ++Trauma

You wake up in a cold sweat. This nightmare again. | Trauma Trait "Uncontrolled Insomnia"

A memory from the distant past that makes you suffer from insomnia. A memory that allows you to remember her face and voice. Two sides of the coin that hurt and heal you at the same time. “Fuck…” You mutter under your breath, covering your eyes with your palm. It’s still night outside, but there’s no desire to fall back into sleep. You just take a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing. Reluctantly, you get out of your bed, after which you go to the old desk. It’s better to concentrate on studying than to torment yourself with such thoughts. No, it won't work. There is a heavy, disgusting lump in your throat. Finally, you can't stand it anymore. Hot tears burn pale skin, leaving traces behind. You want to tear and throw, but you can’t. If he hears, then you will have even bigger problems than now. You allow yourself to hit the table a few times, after which you cover your mouth, trying to muffle your crying. You can’t tell whether you’re doing well or not, but after a while, you calm down. Your body is still trembling slightly, causing you to sink to the floor, slightly leaning against the wooden chair. Do you hope that the cold emanating from the floor will help you come to your senses? How naive. | -Stress -Trauma +Pain

You fall asleep again, praying that this time you won’t dream. A girl figure appears before your eyes, extending her hand to you. “Noa… Noa help… me…” You call her, trying to grab the hand of the disappearing memory. What a pity that our world is not a fairy tale with a happy ending.

You pushed yourself too much.

> Everything gets blurry.. (3:00)

/// RAAHH I SHOULD PRACTICE WRITING MORE. I'm sorry for any mistakes in the text, english is not my native language. thank you for reading the beginning of my character's story!