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A little cheese some fruit some tea THATS an afternoon

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New mitsuaya art!!!

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remake the original saw exactly as it was in 2004 except tim robinson is also there

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i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

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Tumblr is the website where you could get a callout post for not wording your sentiments on queer-reclamation discourse correctly but also not get a callout post for platforming US state department atrocity propoganda designed to sow consent for mass murder campaigns.

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Now I know something you don’t

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Ethan & Typhlosion (2025) - Card Sleeves The Pokémon Company / Creatures Inc.

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BY THE BY. if you're at all inclined to share your thoughts on the sexual violence the ushiromiyas are steeped in, I for one would be super crazy interested in hearing literally all of them, ESP ? WHATEVER THE FUCK. WAS GOING ON WITH EVA AND ROSA. THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY. (eva in particular seems to have a lot of for lack of a better term subliminal incest surrounding her that seeps into many of her relationships? quarantine that woman)

omg of cours of course any time (haha yes sickos-ing)

standard umiposting warnings apply; major umineko spoilers, candid discussion of sexual violence, child abuse, incest, aaannnd cannibalism below. this is also pretty long because well. i do indeed have a lot of thoughts and i tried to touch on like, a decent amount of those i can articulate

GOD. yeah i've been thinking about it because there's so so much :[ some of it i'm not sure is intentionally playing into that theme (i probably could have done without the plausibly deniable background sistercon stuff with ange and battler for instance!) but i keep coming back to the introductory segments of ep1 where it's like, yeah cool battler is joking casually with kyrie about her and rudolf's sex life. he wants to touch jessica's boobs, and maria’s when she’s older. he has a little crush on rosa (??! this one is wild to me). etc etc. all of these moments are presented as jokes, and sometimes the adults will participate in or even instigate them. everybody is thinking about and talking about sex. and i do think that is partially because of how the act of having children is politicized and mechanized there (kyrie voice children are bonds), so sex becomes a central topic in just. how the family works. 

BUT most importantly, sayo as the orchestrator of this narrative is really the one preoccupied by sex and the ushiromiya family eternal incest complex, understandably so—sayo acting as beatrice on the ep4 gameboard, even if she didn’t write it herself*, is most directly emblematic of this, as she conflates kinzo & battler, essentially claiming that battler wants to, or should, own/rape her because he IS kinzo, or rather the latest in kinzo’s lineage of sexual violence. more specifically sayo is obsessed w the way sex is used to violate identity, and in her & (perceivedly) battler’s case, in ancestral perpetuity, but also as The Thing That Makes Us Human (and/or lets us participate in a shared universe). her inability to have sex and the crushing loneliness that comes with that is what makes her furniture. i love this girl but i must say as an aspec there are some jarring fundamental differences in worldview here 😭 but she was raised in the human trafficking catholic maid orphanage and then in the “a woman’s only path to self fulfillment is marrying a man and probably babytrapping him just to have the illusion of safety” family, so it’s understandable that she came to this conclusion </3 it’s very. sex is inherently violent/intimate to the point that it transcends the physical world and enters the holy. i think as much as sayo is a reincarnation of beatrice ii as an unwilling subject of kinzo’s dominion, at least part of her also romanticizes a patriarchal fantasy of being locked away (in a mansion-prison or a family, same thing) to be eternally, certainly loved.

there is also something to be said for battler's self consciousness about puberty in ep1, how he seems genuinely uncomfortable with his growth spurt garnering attention. it makes sense bc teens don't like to be reminded of just how little time they've spent as, like, not-children. but read as a mini sayo vent session the implications of that are actually so. uoughghgh. at the same time that she (so to speak) sexualizes battler, and expresses jealousy towards him, she also finds kinship in that experience and writes him as almost having a meta-objection to this characterization to mirror her own anxieties. growing up/becoming a woman = becoming a fetish object etc etc (battler my number one man who assumes various metaphors for patriarchal violence both as a victim and perpetrator, how does he do it)

and like this is a somewhat messy read i'm aware but there is imo something to the idea that maria (because being a child doesn’t Actually preclude you from being subject to the above-elucidated violence!) is the epitome of what the narrative presents as ange's responsibility to the family to “author” her family’s fate herself. maria necessarily represents ange's primary site of projection, she's ange’s dead imaginary friend. when you die, your interiority becomes a catbox and the future can impose its new truth onto you. the novel literally refers to misuse of this "responsibility" as intellectual rape (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). and tbc that isn’t just a turn of phrase created with no awareness of its broader implications, erika threatens to fulfill her cerebral triumph over battler with literal rape and zepar/furfur are like “ yayyyy this is just like the oppressive institution of marriage ^_^” so arguably, ange learns to protect maria from this intellectual/metaphorical penetration and build true solidarity with her fellow bullied abused probably autistic spiritual sister. which is why, even as i have problems with ep8’s assertion that ange must forgive her abusive family to be happy, i rlly resonate with the specific moral necessity of closing the catbox of rokkenjima. yeah i went to doomed by our bloodlines island yeah the whole family was there and they all said they hate true crime

and oughhh god maria my darling daughter and most iconic disabled girl who keeps getting used as a proxy for the failed romantic ventures of older girls/women in her life. 😭😟 rosa’s physical abuse makes her an obvious scapegoat for “worst anime mom” finalist but the fact that. maria is the one comforting rosa after she beats her, rosa goes crying to her at night, maria rationalizes/lies about the “bad witch” as much for rosa’s benefit as it is hers (“hey mama, did you know? there’s no good mama or bad mama” !!!!!), maria calls rosa a good girl, rosa never grew up….. it sucks!! and maria fully internalizes the caretaking role and becomes the witch of creation, in other words, motherhood, ofc exemplifying “good magic” as the novel posits it by turning bad circumstances into marginally better ones, wgich i have some issues with as i’m sure you can guess but the general affect of children’s utter powerlessness conveyed by this is nonetheless rlly effective. also like. maybe a stretch but imo the way rosa directly blames maria for making it hard for her to get a boyfriend is also a motion of covert incest, in that rosa thinks of herself as “taken”. more likely, it was intended as an element of my favorite kyrie-coined adage “children are bonds,” or more accurately, children are rather unwise bonds because they also happen to be living breathing human beings. rosa was implicitly promised that her husband would stay with her because they have a daughter, but that was a lie, and now she has to do motherhood on hardmode. the burden of motherhood is in part offloaded onto maria, other parts are discarded, and the only part of socially constrained motherhood left that rosa (and sayo) thinks she can perform confidently is violent protectiveness.

and i kind of cry a little when i think about it too much but beato and maria’s relationship is kind of incestuous too, right. like. not to rip the guts out of it but sayo is lying to maria about the golden land. tastefully or not, she is planning to kill maria. mariage sorciere is a suicide pact. not to mention that she’s using maria as a replacement for the gaping septic boyfriendgirlfriend-shaped hole in her heart, and conceiving of “furniture” as an inability to participate in a shared universe, aka in sayo’s eyes, achieve romance and sex………. ☹️☹️ sayo obviously loves maria so so much and mariage sorciere is deeply important to both of them, but maria is the foremost example of how sayo also perpetuates the ushiromiya patented (or, ofc, the constructed Family in general) cyclical failure to Not take advantage of children. not that i think the relationship is romantic or sexual on any tangible level, it clearly is not, but it is again placing maria, a nine year old girl, in the role of Mother, one who nurtures her child and devotes/sacrifices her life for her husband.

to speak on eva…. "subliminally incestuous" is perfect actually lmao. like it's not something i would usually say if she was in another story, but by way of being in umineko all of her actions must be read through the lens of ushiromiya family eternal incest complex. i don't think she's "worse" than kinzo or even rosa, but she also seems diligently remorseless about it all (she asks hideyoshi once if she's secretly evil & bad but that literally wasn't even real on the level of the gameboard she just made that up..... and anyway her mindpalace hideyoshi was just like noooo of course not and then she murdered most of her family 💞) which is funny and also fucking sinister. eva is so cruel to rosa, and she has obviously Fucked Her Up Big Time but you also see this genuine understanding between them. they were going to fly out of the ushiromiya family together. they trust each other the most out of any of the siblings, at least, that’s what they tell each other. i think too about eva-beatrice protesting when eva underestimates rosa, saying she only appears unassuming because she’s learned to keep a low profile after being, yk, viciously abused for her entire life. and something about eva’s mindpalace evil inner child being the one to refute the idea that rosa is a stupid little mouse who wouldn’t dream of overstepping her place by attempting to solve such a scary riddle… young eva is probably the only person in the world who knows the deeper intelligence & aspirations of chronically lonely and famously professionally unserious rosa, but by now eva has forgotten this about her. and i think rosa has too. she did try to solve the epitaph before, but she got stuck even though she clearly can do it on her own. she’s only spurred to success when she feels threatened/inspired by eva getting there first. i think krauss and rudolf are operating under more widely understood & normalized mechanisms of sibling bullying (albeit heightened to traumatizing abuse), but eva & rosa’s relationship feels so. complex and terrible and yeah, incestuous. 

which of course leads to ep2 tea party which is. sobbing wailing throwing up. i think it’s doing so much with how sayo projects onto rosa and subsequently punishes her as a form of self harm. i think beato going “you secretly want your entire family dead” and rosa going “i literally don’t??”* is representative of sayo’s inner conflict of whether she wants to go through with her plan, and like. it’s all wrapped up in this extremely, if i may be crass, rapey imagery of rosa being forcefed her sister’s tongue while being told that she secretly wants it. and in fact there is a tangible element of desire in how beato describes the dishes, mixed in with the obvious revulsion and terror. and to me it feels like, with beato saying that you have to reopen the wound in order to heal, rosa (and by extension, sayo) is desperately trying to process her experiences & eva’s abuse by literalizing them in this grotesque daydream. like. yk how sometimes victims of covert incest or long-term non-physical abuse “wish” that their abuse was more violent because then at least their trauma would feel more real to them or be recognized as such. in part that is what this scene feels like to me.

and then all of that subtext leaks into rosa almost being forced to eat maria, i’m sick i’m sick i’m literally sick…. the more cartoonish imagery of her being roasted removes us a bit from the sexual implications, but it’s obviously still there (battler even makes a sex joke about it. my god. what a game. one of the games ever. top game you have right there.) bc rosa’s complex about maria can certainly be read as parallelling the classic kinzo maneuver of turning your child into a homunculus of an ideal, except that rosa is, how do you say, habitually incompetent, and her alchemic experiment was Cloned Back Wrong™. the metaphor of consumption as sex and exploitation 😥 we all know it (picture of the average familiarity xkcd pops up). and it just becomes this awful concoction of rosa and sayo and maria’s trauma*. they are all sorry for being born. it is inevitable that rosa will hurt maria. it is inevitable that sayo will hurt maria. if rosa is like kinzo and sayo is like rosa then sayo is like kinzo haha.throws up all my organs everywhere

the last thing i wanted to bring up was the eva george fight in ep6 love trials… fucking insane scene because first of all, indeed it’s true sometimes you DO just have to kill your helicopter mom who has denied your autonomy, but. the way he realizes he can consummate his marriage not with sex but by violently reinforcing it & fucking murdering those who invade his glorious family??? many such cases… 😥 (i do have some thoughts on umineko's general attitude towards violence esp as a method of proving one's love, but they are floating like blobs in my terrible mind i cannot put it to words and i think i need t o. reread the entire game again. clutches my head in great torment) but it’s not like the deeply sexual phrasing of “get back in my womb” comes out of nowhere, bc previously eva’s control of george is almost entirely communicated through 1) the idealized homunculus of the Self of course (truly, the no2.5 “if only you’d been born a man” ushiromiya woman), and 2) her arranging george’s marriage, thus enacting implicit ownership of his sex life. another point in the “i don’t actually think eva is a predator but her actions are in line with much of the novel’s developed language about metaphorical sexual violence” column ig.

i’m definitely interested to hear your thoughts too!! esp on eva in particular bc i admit my own thoughts are a bit incoherent due to the (points and mumbles incoherently) the everything. i hope any part of this is true and beautiful to you i can only hope to be an umineko understander one day but indeed i am merely one most devoted scholar. 😔 thank you for the ask! i was so sure i wouldn’t have much more to say on the topic but once i started answering, woe, multipage essay be upon you once again

*in fact i kind of see it as tohya’s… importantly not criticism, but his response/explanation for his characterization in legend and turn

*i also find that this parallels what i talked about with sayo’s writing of battler. but tbc i don’t think sayo’s autonomy-violating authorship is comparable to the “intellectually raping” authorship personified by erika or the overtures of violence perpetuated by kinzo, because sayo’s narratives are preemptive/exploratory/symbolic while erika’s are redactive and kinzo’s conceal, like, actual tangible abuse (while it is questionable at best whether sayo actually killed any of those guys). and also because girls who are frozen-terrified that they’re just as bad as their abusive father are, in my experience, almost never as bad as their abusive father

*my interpretation of purgatorio is pretty vague (so far at least, i’m sure it will change as i return to the novel in the future bc i think the authorship reveals change so much about how to read umineko tjat i must assume you have to go back and do it all again to rlly understand everything it’s putting down) but i think it’s less a segment written by any one person and more of a somewhat untraceable conglomeration of various characters’ ways of processing their trauma, presented in a more cohesive, narrativized way.. IF THAT MAKES SENSE.

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Honestly part of the problem with this obsession with only consuming unproblematic fiction is that people are less likely to acknowledge when something is harmful. If you so much as say hey this one joke in this one episode was offensive fans will write you an essay on why it wasn’t. Because they’ve created a world view where this is basically accusing them of being a bad person who has committed an unforgivable sin.

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Living with your parents as a adult should count as time in purgatory

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anyway re: that previous reblog the idea that jacking off once a day to unwind after work is an addiction is so upsetting. like we're for real for real just calling anything that helps people feel even a little bit good an addiction now. my morning yoga practice is an addiction by this metric. we're living in a time where people are alarmingly distrustful of even very small pleasures.

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a central transfeminist point that it's difficult for tmes to wrap their heads around is that trans women do in fact interact with society as women, and are treated as women, even when they're being misgendered. misgendering isn't just misunderstanding, it's a deliberate act of violence targeting a particularly vulnerable class of women

this seemingly paradoxical nature of transmisogyny is what makes talking about these things so maddening