minor-constellations

[minor-constellations]

i don’t want to exist anymore. my body is so tired and i feel so weak. my brain is mush and i feel empty and lost. no, i don’t want to die. i just wish i could live without pain.

[minor-constellations]

one of the worst feelings is being in a room of people who wouldn’t support you if they knew who you really were or how you really felt

[minor-constellations]

it hurts. learning the person you love will always be in love with someone else. yet always deny it.

[minor-constellations]

i could completely disappear and no one would care it would very literally not matter.

[minor-constellations]

i’m falling apart but you’re whole again and i haven’t felt so sad before but so happy for you.

[minor-constellations]

i’m so selfish. i’m thinking about how much happier you’ll be and how there could be others. why did we have to meet at the wrong time. why did i have to meet my soulmate when it wasn’t right timing. i’m the one that fucked up and here i am praying you’ll still want me later. i wouldn’t blame you. but this will be the worst heartbreak of my life. i’m still going to want to call you in the middle of the night and see your face. i’m still gonna want to say i love you. i wish i could go back and fix everything. but the only thing i can do now is go forward and do the best that i can do one day we can be together like we’re meant to be.

[minor-constellations]

how am i supposed to start feeling better when i know she’s your good morning and good night text. your be safe let me know you’re home okay. your hey i need someone to talk to. you don’t want me anymore.

[minor-constellations]

even death doesn’t want me

[minor-constellations]

sitting in bed thinking about what i would write as a last letter to the people that meant something to me in my life. even the ones that don’t want anything to do with me. and what i would say to my dad. and my sister. and how easy it would be to leave.

[minor-constellations]

i wonder how things would have gone if i ended up with you

[minor-constellations]

i had a dream that i smoked cigarettes and you loved me again. two things very unlikely to happen.

[minor-constellations]

it’s okay if you don’t love me anymore. i understand.