Text
we make fun of americans and their burgers but a good burger at the right moment really will return your will to live, is the thing
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels
53K notes
·
View notes
Text
spin this wheel of all the pokemon. you now have to fight this pokemon. just you and it, bare-knuckle
31K notes
·
View notes
Text

porting stuff over to my laptop, please accept this jean, very vaguely inspired by paranatural
[id in ALT]
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that
45K notes
·
View notes
Text
if I was a pokemon trainer Id be giving them cigarettes I dont even smoke myself I just think itd be really funny to see like a sewaddle with a cigarette in its mouth
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
what's shameful about bottoming?
do me a quick favor, ok? go spend 25 years being coercively raised male with every single person in your life from your parents to your teachers to your mentors to your friends to the celebrities and politicians and hucksters on the radio to the books you read and the cartoons you watch and the history you learn, everything, telling you constantly in ways big and small, explicit and implicit, that if you yes YOU or anyone who is like you wants to be receptive in sex, that that makes you a laughable pansy faggot, a joke and an acceptable target, a failure and a disappointment, an object of pity and shame. have them tell you this also about being soft, or scared, or tender, or emotional, or needy, or lonely, or small. believe it. internalize it. try your absolute hardest to live by it even though this act of living feels actually like killing something in you that is small and cannot ever be killed but can die over and over and each time it hurts. fail. really fail. break down. realize that you could never do it. realize that you never wanted to. realize that what you wanted was to be loved. realize you can still be loved. take a lover. try to let her inside you. the feeling in your stomach is your answer. any other questions?
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Why does like every language do things with their R sounds that nobody else understands
24K notes
·
View notes
Text
a za/um splinter faction has reportedly opened a chicken restaurant in Albuquerque
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.
217K notes
·
View notes
Text

I hate when there's no toilet paper coming out the bottom of these gentlemen and you have to tickle its nutsack to de-piss yourself
17K notes
·
View notes