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sorry I love this painfully mid media so much I could throw up

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the transition from people needing each other to wanting each other is literally one of my greatest weaknesses that shit makes me want to walk into the sea and sit on the ocean floor for a thousand years

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I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

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any deep breathers online? any fans of a really good deep breath? how about a nice hearty yawn? breathing in a bunch of air feels so good

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$20 used to mean something

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what the helllll who are these guys

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im using my echolocation so i can get a good look at you

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What if we hyperfixated together? 😗 JK JK… unless- 😏

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broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

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stirring up my nefarious concoction

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Concept: stage musical whose lead character can't seem to hear the music and is visibly baffled at the fact that everyone else is dancing – initially as comedy bit, but over the course of the production it gradually becomes apparent that we're looking at a formerly realistic setting which has suddenly begun to operate according to stage musical rules, and we watch as the lead is ostracised from their peers and driven to madness by the fact that they're seemingly the only one who's noticed that anything has changed.

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LOSERships At Freddy's 💔

- daveSLOP🍂

- harrySLOP💔

- mattSLOP 😐

- MIDrderphone👎

- peterLOSEine👺

- poLIEphone 🤓

Uh that's all i got sorry

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btw if you dont care about aspec people you do actually need to get your shit together. i have had enough of the 'is an aroallo man queer' discourse and the insistance that canonically aspec characters' identities are just headcanons, let alone the sheer amount of bullshit fighting about how aspec characters can still date or have sex or have friends. it's not enough to reblog the 'rb if you think asexual people exist!!' posts, you need to actually view us as real fucking people, and that includes every identity under the umbrella, regardless of if you have icky feelings about it