miscellaneousferns - Tumblr blog

[miscellaneousferns]

This is Nori. She's not a human trapped in a dog's body. She's a human chilling in a dog's body.

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They call me Johnny Six-Bowls. No, I don't smoke weed, it's - yeah, I know. It's cause when I cook I need a buncha those little bowls to put my stuff in. You know, cut up veggies and stuff. What's the word. Mise en place. Yeah. So I gotta have a bunch of em with stuff all prepped before I start. Elsewise it's all chaos. Anyway. You here to duel? Or should I give you head

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i wish they weren’t so expensive ☹️

the things i would do if i could get a new one every week…

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I got an old camcorder on ebay and it had a bunch of bear pictures and some videos already on it, here are some of my favorites

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shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.

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my wife (time machine)

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saying “can u not” to inanimate objects that are just following the laws of physics but in, like, inconvenient ways

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two “cats” interacting

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at work: i could be cooking and cleaning and coding and reading and working out and weaving tapestries and playing video games and climbing a mountain and having sex and filming a movie right now yet they keep me trapped in this prison. idle hands are the devils plaything and i am being forcibly molded into his perfect conduit. i must break free, seize the day and waste not the beauty inherent to finite mortal life

at home: my one true passion upon this pointless earth is bog mummy imitation

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love it when my friends say "you would do numbers on Tumblr" buddy I am on Tumblr. and the number is 3

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so if you don’t know what shifting is, a quick explanation is that it’s the idea that the multiverse exists and that you can transport your soul into a multiverse where your favorite characters are real. It’s a whole thing and was hugely popular on TikTok in 2020+2021.

Anyway I am Not judging anyone or even about to comment on shifting in itself.

But there’s also a concept that you can “script” the universe you shift to and even pick your appearance while you’re there.

And in late 2021 I posted a cosplay video that got a fair amount of views and people kept tagging each other in the comments and saying stuff like “I’m faceclaiming her for next time I shift.”

Which I swear did not bother me I was like okay you funky kids.

But two people specifically started taking about using my face when they shift universes to date Draco Malfoy. And I was like man. Don’t use my face to kiss Draco Malfoy. Im begging you.

I didn’t actually say that in the comments mind you I just let them be.

So anyway a few months ago someone posted a video discussing that they were one of the main shifting influencers and they faked everything and they were just lucid dreaming the entire time. So as you can imagine, shifters were very upset to hear this

I made a single comment about this situation. Maybe two sentences. And people are. Very angry.

And now for months I keep getting comments on my TikToks that I’m too ugly to date Draco Malfoy. This is considered the ultimate insult to them, I believe.

“Trust me. Nobody wants that face dating Draco.”

They’re also mostly running K-Pop fancam accounts and I’m trying to figure out the Draco Malfoy K-Pop link but so far I’ve got nothing.

Idk where I’m going with this I just felt like other people should know that I’m currently K-Pop Draco Malfoy’s number 1 enemy.

[miscellaneousferns]

And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?

🐙WetterThanYou Follow

Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

They're not? 😭😭😭

(10,053 Notes)

🐺HereWolf Follow

Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.

🏏Batass Follow

Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.

🐺HereWolf Follow

You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.

🐺HereWolf Follow

Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.

(8,000 Notes)

💚CraftedLove Follow

In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.

(42,069 Notes)

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.

(48,835 Notes)

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍

♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow

Hey.

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!

(33,333 Notes)

[miscellaneousferns]

lil baby hippo

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