mischiefmagpie

[mischiefmagpie]

Pierre-Auguste Renoir - "Julie Manet with Cat (detail)" (1877)

[mischiefmagpie]

irish coworker: *is back from a month in italy*

me: the weather must have been great, you're looking so tanned!

irish coworker: *stares down at his arms, which are a shade of eggshell white i associate with tasteful wedding table settings* i suppose i am!

welsh coworker: *enters room* wow, youre looking so tanned!

ghanaian coworker: *looks around like hes on the truman show*

[mischiefmagpie]

simply unbelievable eggplant my mother grew

[mischiefmagpie]

Based off two real customers I had lol

[mischiefmagpie]

[mischiefmagpie]

day 1 of having an oc: i think shes gonna be an elf!

day 600: ive been pondering the elfs miscarriage

[mischiefmagpie]

To whom did you pray? God or the Devil?

To... whoever could help me.

[mischiefmagpie]

Aerith angel study thing

[mischiefmagpie]

[mischiefmagpie]

[mischiefmagpie]

are people really thinking the South Park episode with Trump is revolutionary or what

[mischiefmagpie]

i will lick yuour Poosay for €4.

Whaddaye say?

Sloppy Astyle??

(quite an alluring ofer if i do sayso myzelf……..

line 1: german pervert

line 2: scottish pervert

line 3: italian pervert

line 4: average frenchman

[mischiefmagpie]

REBLOG IF IT IS OKAY TO COME INTO YOUR INBOX AND SAY THE RANDOMEST SHIT I CAN THINK OF BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU.

[mischiefmagpie]

REBLOG IF IT IS OKAY TO COME INTO YOUR INBOX AND SAY THE RANDOMEST SHIT I CAN THINK OF BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU.

[mischiefmagpie]

let me preface this post by saying i'm a lesbian so you know i have no ulterior motive saying this. but i think ezio should be a little fatter. there should be some softness layered on top of the parkouring muscles. having that perfect 100%-lean-meat body without the slightest bit of padding may have been a highly desirable flex circa 2009/2010, but that's a laborer body in renaissance italy... it requires dehydration and limited caloric intake. meanwhile, ezio is first and foremost a rich bitch, ergo, he should be eating and drinking well enough that his abs are no longer visible 🍖 🥂

ezio needs to monologue forlornly to somebody about how hard he's been working and how tough his life is, and then the camera just follows their eye down to where an obvious muffin-top is poking out above the waistline of ezio's leggings, and then they just go uh huh yeah i'm sure occasionally going without a whole roast pheasant for breakfast must be very emotionally taxing on you, poor thing.

and crucially the fatness is seen as making him even sexier because of that association with wealth and status, same way he has lace and cloth-of-gold accents on his robes and whatnot... NONE of those 2000s diet-culture fat jokes. leo wants to make ezio's love handles live up to their name. who said that

[mischiefmagpie]

the best thing about being alive on earth is that sometimes there is a kitty

[mischiefmagpie]

FISH DELOUSING LASER????