miserorums

[miserorums]

Is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?

Friedrich Nietzsche (via wordsnquotes)

[miserorums]

( mclissc. )

“come have a look,” melissa said without looking up from her newfound book. a trip to the library while everything seemed calm was a good idea – not something she did often, but certainly one of the best entertainment ideas that were still, well, possible. “this old book is like a collection of different hospital and jail experiments. y’know, the crazy ones psychotic surgeons did in the 1900′s while some people actually thought it was borderline normal.” her gun was strategically place under her belt, a millisecond away from a headshot if needed. maybe some more exploration around this place could be actually worth the trip?

     “Life was interesting back then,” Adam stated simply, a nod of his head following. “It was truly unbelievable how much shit the world was able to get away with back then.” Of course, it all felt so trivial now. Back then, they were just performing experiments. Now, men and women were being killed, all in the name of SURVIVAL. “Have you read anything about the Stanford Prison Experiment? Pure psychological torture right there. Terrible, terrible things.” The man was like an Encyclopedia for detailed and random thoughts that only he ever found interesting. It was what so many years of school had given him, and what had been rendered useless, for the most part, after the virus spread.

[miserorums]

( evan-sterling. )

                              Some would call what the allies do foolish. The level of trust it takes a majority of the residence to keep the group running was… staggering. And taking Evan in? A complete stranger? In this world? It amazed her. She can’t imagine that trust hadn’t been betrayed a time or two. She’d expect it, actually. And yet here they were. “No worries,” she supplies with a small shake of her head. “It’s not, uh, it won’t be any trouble looking. Especially if you can, uhm… if you can get some from grown trees. I’ll see what… what I can find.” Maybe that’s what made this all work. There were people like her — she lived in the short game. Day to day. Hour by hour. And then there were people like Adam, envisioning the long run. Planning ahead not only for tomorrow, but three months from now. “I, uh… oh. That – okay.” It Dean were around then that meant Alex wasn’t far behind and while both were perfectly capable of handling things (she’d witnessed it first hand) there’s a small spike of anxiety that shoots through her. If they go out and something happens to Adam, that’s on her. “We can, uh… okay. There’s a… a, uh… there’s a stretch of forest up to the North that could… could maybe have some of the tree’s you’re looking for.” Evan would just have to make sure nothing happened to him.

     In Adam’s eyes, Evan’s spirit has always been one that felt uncertain. That wasn’t to say that she was indeed uncertain of most things or that Adam felt a need to keep his trust and faith in her to a minimum, but there was something about her that felt unsure and even anxious at times. He couldn’t blame her for this—even a leader like Adam had moments of doubt that lingered in his head. Questions of what was right and what was wrong and which level of belief was safe for his group always made him feel like he was a betting man. He could remember times in which these gambles lead to heartbreak and sadness, but without the risks he took, life would be composed of nothing. There would be no lessons to learn, nor would there be any people to miss. Adam didn’t want to live like that, and he didn’t want to lock himself away for the sake of never getting hurt or never dying. Of course, it was an intriguing thought that he sometimes entertained, but it was never what he wanted. His arms crossed over his chest, contemplating her words with a curt nod. “Yeah, there should be a decent amount of peaches out there.” His gaze went past Evan, mind lost in thought for a moment. “I’d say our chances are pretty good. We probably won’t even have to go too far out, which would eliminate our chances of running into some hunters or other types.” Adam shoved his hands into his pockets as he cleared his throat. “Yeah, this sounds like a good plan. Are there any cabins out that way?”

[miserorums]

                          ↠ LEFT BEHIND TASK 001. PLAYLIST

                           REDEMPTION DAY—part ii: the reckoning.

                                                          listen.

[miserorums]

                          ↠ LEFT BEHIND TASK 001. PLAYLIST

                              BURNING HOUSE—part i: the prelude.

                                                          listen.

[miserorums]

( @liamhart . )

     Spinning on his heel, Adam’s eyes remained vigilant. His gaze moved around, one place to another, searching desperately for the source of the noise. It could have been his companion, but in the time he’d come to know the young man, Adam had learned that Liam was smarter than that. He might be labeled as a Heathen, but there’s more to him than meets the eye, and that’s why Adam chose to trust him enough to walk ahead, to be alone with him and not have his gun pointed. Fear is not an emotion he associates with Liam, and it never has been. Besides, the noise sounded like footsteps—erratic, spurious, and not the sounds of a living being. 

     I don’t think we’re alone. Every inch of his being wanted to speak, but Adam had learned early on that speaking wasn’t always the best choice—no, especially not when there were things out there with echolocation. So, he remained frozen in place, confident that Liam would catch on without him having to say anything. Slowly but surely, the familiar clicking noises become apparent, an unsettling feeling took hold of him. Gaze settled on Liam, and his brows raised as if to question what they should do. They could run, of course, but clickers were fast. Their best bets? Take the situation head-on or hide until it went away. 

[miserorums]

( haleywatson. )

When she heard the familiar voice of someone she knew, Haley let out a sigh of relief. It was her leader and someone she trusted and knew to be a good man. She felt safe around him and thankfully it had been him of all people to run into consider the kind of world they lived in now. Without a moment’s hesitation, she stepped out of the building she was hiding in and gave him a small smile. Walking over to him, she immediately pulled him into a hug before stepping back to check for any injuries he had. It was the nurse in her to feel the need to make sure the people she knew weren’t hurt. Haley nodded her head. “Yeah, I wanted to head over to the bookstore. I was told there are still some books there and I was hoping there would be medical books.”

     Features formed a smile in return to hers—a relatively simple tradition that he missed. These days, scowls took the place of a kind, gentle smile, so it was always a good surprise to be shown something that was so soft in comparison. It was the hug that had truly caught him off-guard, though. Arms remained at his sides for only a second—only so he could process the moment and understand that there was still good left in the world. As soon as he was able to remind himself of that, his arms wrapped around her as well, a soft chuckle escaping him as she pulled away and scanned over his body for any wounds or bites. It was a strange feeling of being cared for—a feeling that he had never truly felt until he found his place with the Allies. “I can go with you if you’d like. I’ve actually been looking for some more things to read.” Perhaps a ‘How to Lead a Post-Apocalyptic Survivalist Group For Dummies’ would magically be there.

[miserorums]

( macstus. )

@miserorums​

Her head rested on the leather seat of the rusted automobile, small form tucked tightly against herself to keep herself small. She’d dozed off, a few hours at most ( more than what she’d gotten in the past month ), for a moment forgetting where she was. But the creaking of the door’s joints jolted her back to reality ; the blur pushed from her eyes as the tip of her pistol pointed in the intruder’s direction. Meaning to shoot. ❝ Ya better have a dam’ good reason for openin’ that door, or i’m-ah drill a hole in your forehead. ❞

     His mind was somewhere else—hands haphazardly picking apart the contents of rusted cars for anything that could be of use. And the small figure in the car? Well, he had seen it, but the person had looked dead. Features hidden away, Adam had no way of knowing who it was. That was, up until the moment she spoke up. It took a few moments, but eventually, his mind recognized it as the daughter of a woman he had once known. Adam had known her once as well, long ago, closer to the beginning of it all. She was only a child back then, and he could remember feeling guilty just knowing that a child of her age had to live through all of that destruction. “Why my forehead?” He questioned, tilting his head. She sounded like her mother, even with that gritty threat. “Is survival a good enough answer for you?”

[miserorums]

( scbastianellis. )

Oh, this was just… great. It wasn’t unusual for people to come checking in on Bash when he hadn’t returned the previous night, but the person he never much banked on it being was Adam. While he didn’t look at the man as a parental figure – mostly because they were so close in age – there was still something about the man that slightly reminded him of his father. Getting checked on by the leader of his group definitely made Bash feel like a child, someone who needed supervision and couldn’t be trusted to be on his own. Which was true, in every sense of it, but with Adam it was… different. Adam didn’t have to tell Bash to get up twice – the moment he realized he’d been the one to go check on him, Bash had started to straighten up. “I’m fine, honestly,” Bash said, trying to sound casual. The headache that had started brewing in the glare of the sunlight begged to differ, though. “You didn’t have to check up on me, you know, I’m– Shira takes good care of me.”

     If there was any part of Adam that felt like he was a babysitter to the Allies, he wouldn’t be there. He had been a babysitter once before—gum stuck in his neighbor’s hair, trivial injuries from playing tag that made it feel as though the world could fall apart at any second, and the most overarching quality, annoyance and the melodramatic nature of children. For one, gum wasn’t really an issue anymore. Second, the end of the world had already arrived and injuries weren’t silly things that could be brushed under the rug as apathetically as they once were. Lastly, he never felt annoyed with any of them. In fact, he treasured each person in their own individual way. With Sebastian? It was a certain strength he admired. He looked past the drinking and saw a person who was nothing short of amazing. Perhaps it was his own will to remain upbeat and positive that was reflecting a fallacy upon Sebastian, or perhaps that was what was truly there. Whichever it was, Adam was willing to place his bets in the man and convince himself that Sebastian still a valued member of society. “I know,” He shrugged. “I don’t really have to do anything, but I wanted to. I won’t push it, though, so if you say you’re fine, I’ll take your word. But you don’t exactly look like you got a good night’s rest.”

[miserorums]

( evan-sterling. )

                              It seems trivial to her, looking for seeds of all things. Why would anyone spend time planting things that you have to wait for? Then again, she’s used to moving a mile a minute and never stopping (stop and you die) — she doesn’t have to do that here. Not with the allies. “Plum or… peach seeds,” Evan doesn’t mean to repeat the request, but it’s hard to keep the confusion off her face, tongue running over her lips in a nervous habit of anxiety. “I can, uhm… I can try.” It’s an odd request and one she isn’t particularly sure she can follow through with (and she hates that). Then again, they are in Colorado. “That, uhm… that sounds nice.” While the allies have managed to surprise her time and time again, envisioning an orchard of peach trees brings a small smile to her lips. There’s almost a sense of normalcy about the possibility of growing food again. It’s calming — which is a very big deal to Evan. Swallowing, her head shifts in a nod next, throat clearing. “Those are, uh… I can look for those, too.” Then, with eyes downcast and hands fidgeting at her sides. “Oh, you… uh. You don’t have to come, uh… come with me. I’m sure you’re, uh. You’re needed here.”

     A simple shrug of his shoulders followed her confusion—a part of being a farmer in the outbreak often meant that others might not understand the motives or even the purpose of his actions. Planning for the future seemed silly, especially when the next day was not a guarantee. Life—specifically within their group—was composed of uncertainties, sewn together to create a semblance of normalcy. Still, the majority of people would rather live in the moment, not the future. They were focused on survival for now, not plans for whatever laid ahead. Adam, on the other hand, did his best to find the middle ground. “Don’t worry too much about it. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be able to locate some grown trees that haven’t been scavenged or ripped apart yet.” He assured her once again. Gaze looked around them—they can manage. Adam knew their capabilities, and he also always reminded himself that he was not alone in being the leader. Yes, it was important to be around, but every now and then, he needed to take time away from the camp and collect himself. Allow himself the privilege of having downtime, After all, it was rare that he did stray far, and weeks of staying within their territory had grown boring, to say the least.  “I’m sure they can manage perfectly well without me for a few hours. Besides, Dean’s around here somewhere.” 

[miserorums]

( @larachvn. )

     Regret—as soon as tired eyes catch sight of the familiar face, the emotion washes over him like a tidal wave, and as much as he hates to admit it, he had been praying that he would never see her face again. Somewhere in there, he feels the guilt slowly forming a bump in his throat, making it damn near impossible to even breathe. But somewhere within the chaos of his own mind, he mustered up the courage to push his lungs to make it happen—in and out, in and out, until finally, he found a rhythm he could keep up with. “Lara,” He said simply, a faux-nonchalance coating his words. Nevertheless, his shocked facial expression and tensed shoulders betray him, as always. “I see you’re still kicking.” Humor—was that the correct way to respond to seeing the ghost of a friend?

[miserorums]

I aim to be lionhearted, but my hands still shake and my voice isn’t quite loud enough.

Michelle K., Earning Your Roar (via allexsheathes)

[miserorums]

( haleywatson. )

Just venturing outside of the walls of the allies territory, Haley had gripped her gun tightly as she kept her eyes peeled for anyone or anything that could cause her harm. When she heard footsteps approaching her, Haley quickly ran and ducked by a a nearby building and waited to see if the person was familiar to her. Trying to inch closer and getting a better view of the person, she had stepped on broken glass by accident, immediately alerting the person of her presence. “Don’t shoot!” she yelled. “I’m coming out!”

     It was a tragedy that the world had become a place in which the rule of thumb was: shoot first, ask questions later. Adam was not that type of person, and instead, he favored the use of logic over action, patience over the unnecessary, trigger-happy fingers. It was why he didn’t shoot upon hearing the footsteps, and why he also immediately put his gun away. Besides, the voice was familiar enough to take the risk of not having his gun ready. “It’s fine,” He spoke gently, slowly stepping forward. “It’s just me,” Adam assured her. “Doing some exploring?” He questioned with a tilt of his head. 

[miserorums]

[miserorums]

( scbastianellis. )

The splitting headache wasn’t what woke him up; rather, it was the sound of footsteps cautiously approaching. Bash let out a long groan, feeling the sun press against his eyelids, daring him to open his eyes and face its wrath. Slowly, his memories returned to him – he’d been on his way home from a mission, he’d sat down to have a drink or two (or three, or four), and he’d ended up crashing just outside of home territory. Again. At long last he opened his eyes, though instead of seeing Shira, his dog, waiting for him in the run-down corridor, his gaze fell on a pair of boots and a gun. “Look, alright, I don’t have anything on me and I’m not bitten,” he mumbled groggily, “so just… take it easy, okay?”

     It wasn’t within the job description to continuously check up on everyone in the camp, but Adam did so anyway. Hearing things through the grapevine was never his favorite, and instead, he made it his mission to know about his campmates and ensure their safety with his own eyes. It wasn’t that he was untrusting of others, but rather he needed to be certain. Physical turmoil, emotional turmoil—it all remained the same in the end. It took a toll on the body, spirit, and the mind, and eventually ran people dry. If he could prevent that from happening, then he would. Still, he needed to be safe and doing that required his gun at the very least. “Alright, I believe you,” Adam spoke gently, gaze taking in the scene and his gun lowering. “I hate to be the bad guy here, but you do need to get up,” He commented. “Or, at least, I would like you to get up. Get some food and water in you.” 

[miserorums]

( evan-sterling. )

                              Shifting on her feet slightly, Evan kept her eyes downcast, hands fidgeting at her side. “I’m, uh… I’m gonna go out to see if I can find some things. Did you, uhm – do you need… anything?” Lifting her gaze briefly, she offers a small, if not awkward, smile. “I can, erm… I can keep an eye out for something if you, uh… if you need it.” She’s trying. The frustrating part? Socializing was something she used to be good at. There hadn’t always been this skittishness. This weariness. But that’s what the end of the world does to you. Turns you into something you weren’t before.

     Hands rubbed together, brushing off as much dirt as he possibly good—a good contrast to the blood that used to stain his hands. Hell, a part of him even began to hope that the number of trees and vegetables he planted would somehow redeem past sins, and wipe away his debt to the world. It was a nice thought, but it was also foolish. “Well, if you could find me some plum or peach seeds, that would be great,” He mentioned thoughtfully. “But, don’t stick your neck out to find it. Not essential to get them.” If Evan couldn’t find them, Adam would manage to get his hands on them either way. He was resourceful and dedicated enough to do it himself, he just needed the time. “They grow well here, though, and I was thinking that if I got to planting them now, they’d be ready within a few years. Long-term planning for long-term gain, I suppose.” Lost in thought yet again—pointless ramblings of a lost man. “We might need some more basics, now that I think about it. Blankets, first-aid, and useful things that others might trade with. I could accompany you if you want,” He offered, turning toward the woman. 

[miserorums]

( RAMI MALEK, CISMALE, HE/HIM ) —— [ ADAM KASSEM ] is a [ THIRTY-SIX ] year old that has been part of the [ ALLIES ] for [ SIX ] years. They have been working as a [ FARMER / LEADER ]. The people in Boulder say that [ HE ] is [ CONTEMPLATIVE ] but also [ ENIGMATIC ]. Lets see what this wasteland has in store for them. 

If you came here for a Short™ intro, you can to the wrong place. Okay, but really, I’ll try to keep this short for y’all because I am sick of my ass bein’ extra ! Anyways, I swear I have a bio written for Adam, but it is as ancient as my RP career and I need to switch it up because the timeline from his past story ? Totally different ! Also, I have actually been writing Adam for about four or so years now so if he seems familiar ? He is ! 

quick Facts™ about him

An actual army brat. He was born in Los Angeles and moved a lot after that. City after city, he just got used to being the #weirdkid that had no friends, but Colorado was the one state that he had real friends, so he likes to think of it as the city where he belongs. 

His parents were ? Oppressive and too serious for him. He used to be a happy dude and really loved being outgoing and fun. Really, though, his main thing is plants. Dude loves plants and nature. He will love you forever if you just watch the stars with him or help him in his garden. Also ? Lowkey freakishly smart, just not witty.

He can be ? Very callous and cold at times, but it’s not with everyone. Really, he loves his Allies and he would give his life to them. Truthfully, they are his one real weakness and he loves being their leader. At the same time, he isn’t as friendly with outsiders. He tries his best to be civil and maintain good relationships for the sake of peace, but he isn’t a pushover with people that he’s not familiar with. 

If any of you know Adam from previous RPs, you also know that he has a dark side to him. He’s a good person and tries his best to be a good guy, but in the beginning of the outbreak, he did have ties with the more barbaric people. He was a hunter for some time, and that was mainly because of how his parents were and how controlling they were. He kind of followed them around like a lost puppy because he was scared, but within a couple of years, he cut all ties with them and he’s a part of the Allies. 

Like I said, though, there’s a dark side to him. He tries to smile and be uplifting, but deep down, he’s a cynic. He’s a sad, angry guy, that still has everything bottled up. Even when he was a hunter, he was still not acting to his fullest extent ? It’s tough, okay ! He faces a big issue because he is troubled and he does have these unresolved issues that could blow up in his face if he isn’t careful. 

What happens when you get a naturally exuberant guy and stick him with overprotective and overbearing parents ? You get Adam ! He can be pretty awkward at times because he’s still so unsure of how people will react to him, so he tends to act like a turtle sometimes. He’ll peak his head out and look around, but if there’s no lettuce or food in general, he’ll just go back into his shell. He can be complicated and definitely enigmatic because he really just doesn’t want to have people close enough to hurt him. 

That’s ? About it ! I’m working on his biography and such, which I will have up here in case anyone wants to keep up with that ? In the meantime, you can give this post a like or reply to it and I’ll hop into your IMs !