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“You weren’t ready to love, and I wasn’t ready to be hurt.”
— lipstaen
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People who get excited about sunrises, sunsets, a sky full of stars, the moon, deep connections and heart to heart conversations are my kind of people.
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for the first time in a long time, i can say i am very very proud of myself.
i don't think i've said this on tumblr since the start of this account in 2016.
two months in LA has put *a lot* in perspective. couple that with end of year self-reflection. hindsight is greater than 20|20. if that's possible.
took a much needed long weekend in palm springs. just the reset i needed. came back & nailed the meeting with my dream job.
feeling super grounded. & in balance. my demeanor is different. i feel like laidback lovey again.
also excited my creative spark is back. i love building community & learning about people. my podcast, everything is breathing, will be the perfect embodiment of that.
im finally focusing on what im good at. i wrote a list of my strengths vs talents. the results were im good at tasteful branding, establishing a platform, & selling merchandise.
the podcast will allow me to audio engineer, create chill beats, & hear people's stories. while also creating clothing, poster, & maybe home goods. hopefully that community leads to live events & my own studio space that can be housed in bar mude.
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NY allowed me to unravel in ways i can't explain right now. i almost brought that part of me to LA, but quickly had to check it. the moment i did, jobs fell in line, ideas fell in line, & friendship doors were opened.
going into 2024, i know everything won't go as planned. there will be disappointments. but i will feel thru my emotions. keep my triggers in check. & keep it moving.
im holding myself accountable. taking care of myself/home. getting my ideas out. & staying compliant with medications (s/o to my psychiatric nurse who is committed to my wellness).
no matter what, i belong here. in this world. & im thankful to the universe, my family, & my chosen family for pushing me to show up as this person.
my depression is here to stay. but so is my happiness. i have to work at this balance everyday.
regardless, im okay. & i'll always be okay.
33 soon.
making sure i have some things to show for it. <3
12/12 | 9:10p
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becks & jaq (top boy S4, 2022 / netflix)
#becksandjaq#becks and jaq#becks#jaq#top boy#netflix#lgbt pride#pride art#queer pride#pride month#black gay#photography#wlw#wlw community#wlw pride
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i am quite literally trying to fall off the face of the earth. duck off to the woods with my baby. @ z
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i crave gentle love, gentle hands, gentle words. i just want someone to make me feel safe and calm
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