mismerccray - Tumblr blog

[mismerccray]

I feel like a good shorthand for a lot of economics arguments is "if you want people to work minimum wage jobs in your city, you need to allow minimum wage apartments for them to live in."

"These jobs are just for teenagers on the weekends." Okay, so you'll use minimum wage services only on the weekends and after school. No McDonald's or Starbucks on your lunch break.

"They can get a roommate." For a one bedroom? A roommate for a one bedroom? Or a studio? Do you have a roommate to get a middle-wage apartment for your middle-wage job? No? Why should they?

"They can live farther from city center and just commute." Are there ways for them to commute that don't equate to that rent? Living in an outer borough might work in NYC, where public transport is a flat rate, but a city in Texas requires a car. Does the money saved in rent equal the money spent on the car loan, the insurance, the gas? Remember, if you want people to take the bus or a bike, the bus needs to be reliable and the bike lanes survivable.

If you want minimum wage workers to be around for you to rely on, then those minimum wage workers need a place to stay.

You either raise the minimum wage, or you drop the rent. There's only so long you can keep rents high and wages low before your workforce leaves for cheaper pastures.

"Nobody wants to work anymore" doesn't hold water if the reason nobody applies is because the commute is impossible at the wage you provide.

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Reasons other batkids are in Jason’s apartment

Jason: “Did you… is that… Did you eat the ENTIRE THING?”

Dick: “In my defense Alfred has been gone a week.”

—————

Jason: “Why did you need my help with this again?”

Damian: “Grayson would insist on retaining photographic evidence, Gordon would take too long, Cain and Brown are not in the country, and Drake is an idiot.”

Jason: “You do realize Tim is like, a genius, right?”

Damian: “Tt. Debatable, seeing how Drake failed to complete high school.”

Jason: “Right… You know when you said you needed help I thought you meant with hiding a body or something, not…” *gestures vaguely to Damian’s unfinished science diorama*

—————

Steph: “Ugh. Why is this so hard? It’s not like this is even the first gala I’ve been dragged to.”

Jason: “Why do I need to pick?”

Steph: “Apprently I need to ‘expand my color palette’ or something.”

Jason: “Doesn’t really explain why me.”

Steph: *sighs* “Have you SEEN what Dick and Tim consider acceptable clothing choices?”

Jason: *cringes*

Steph: “Damian is an obvious no seeing as I’m not actually a masochist, And Cass is out of town.”

Jason: “Why am I always second to Cass?”

Steph: “EVERYONE is second to Cass.”

Jason: “Fair. What about Babs?”

Steph: “Just shut up and help me pick a dress, boy zombie.”

Jason: “Whatever, Blondie.”

—————

(Cass, dropping off half a dozen nerf guns)

Jason:

Cass: “They’re being annoying.”

Jason: “Oh hell yeah.”

—————

Tim: “I need help hiding a body.”

Jason:

Tim:

Jason:

Tim:

Jason: “YOU?”

Tim: “What? I didn’t kill him.”

Jason: “Somehow that is so much worse.”

Tim: “Oh, don’t worry, he’s dead.”

Jason:

Tim: “I just need to hide it somewhere for a few weeks.”

Jason:

Tim:

Jason: “Yeah, okay.”

(Three weeks later)

Jason: *watching a video feed of an increasingly paranoid Lex Luthor*

Jason:

Jason: “I don’t even want to know.”

—————

Babs: “I need your help finding a body.”

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: *mentally cursing Tim*

—————

(Bonus)

Bruce:

Jason:

Bruce:

Jason: “Why?”

Bruce: *breaking down* “I can’t take it anymore.”

Jason: “How is this my problem?”

Bruce: “They just won’t STOP.”

Jason: “You do realize you chose to have this many kids, right?”

Bruce: “Where did they even GET Green Lantern themed batarangs?”

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: “Fine. You can take the couch.”

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okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.

Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."

Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red

Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."

J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"

Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"

Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."

*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*

Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."

Ollie: "For ice cream?"

Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."

Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."

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Tim: wait, you quit smoking?

Jason: I quit smoking when I became Robin.

Tim: Ok,That Is Not True. I've seen you smoke recently, don't gaslight me!

Dick: You didn't really quit smoking when you were Robin Jay, you used to take my cigs sometimes

Duke: wait,, YOU used to smoke??

Dick: Yeah, back when I was Nightwing

Duke: You're /still/ Nightwing ???

Tim: He means back when he was Discowing

Duke: What's discowing???

Jason: The reason I used to smoke.

[mismerccray]

i hear your constantly sleep deprived tim drake. allow me to raise you one sleep deprived BUT prone to napping/passing out tim drake.

after a 72 hour mission, with no sleep, tim finishes up his report at the bat computer, stands up, takes three steps to the left, and curls into a ball on the floor and sleeps right there. Bruce finds him and moves him to somewhere more comfy.

alternatively, when he’s stressed and doesn’t want anyone to bother him, Tim finds the most inconvenient, out of sight place to nap so he can get back to work once he’s done. unfortunately sometimes he gets caught.

Jason: Why is Tim in the tea cabinet?

Dick: He’s tired, leave him be. I think this is the first time he’s slept in like two days.

———

Damian: Father, why is Drake currently unconscious in the cave under the medical gurneys?

Bruce: He likes it there.

———

i just like the idea that the family just rolls with it and accepts it as one of his many quirks. maybe even young justice gang gets in on it and is like oh yeah that’s tim for ya.

[mismerccray]

[mismerccray]

“Bruce wouldn’t call his kids any cutesy nicknames y’all are cringe” first of all Bruce canonically refers to children as “honey” and “sweetheart” as BATMAN, so, close your mouth, monster breath

Second of all, Thomas Wayne called him everything from “Bunny, honey, sweetheart, baby, bambino, sweetie” to “Gumdrop, honeybee, amore, babe, “ and you can die trying to take it away from me

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damian: mother spoke to me today, said grandfather has been cherishing drake’s spleen?

duke: tim… you have a spleen right?

tim: …

duke: right?…

tim: it’s been displaced at the moment..

dick: tim! you need that!

tim: i’ll be fine.

jason: you literally won’t.

[mismerccray]

I think it’s funny to think that whenever Jason shows up to ANYTHING with a duffle bag the batfamily and co think there could be decapitated heads inside:

Dick: whatcha got there Jason?

Jason: my luggage for the mission??

Dick:

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS THERE AREN’T HEADS IN HERE

Dick: THERES ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY

Jason: I HAVEN’T KILLED ANYONE IN MONTHS

Dick: THAT WE KNOW OF

I imagine that then the Justice League becomes weary of Jason with duffle bags due to the bats. So the outlaws could be helping with a mission and:

Superman: Hood if it’s alright we’d like to search your bag?

Red Hood: there’s just my gear inside

Superman: we just want to double check it is your gear…

Red Hood:

Red Hood: not you guys too

Red Hood: THERE AREN’T ANY DECAPITATED HEADS INSIDE

Arsenal: at this point you should just put heads in there.

Red Hood: I’m not trying to get back on the Justice Leagues Wanted list Roy

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Red hood : if you don’t tell what I want to know I’ll put a bullet in your skull

Criminal: Go ahead kill me I ain’t scared to die!

Robin: we can glue a jar full of rats to your stomach and blow torch the end so they only way they can escape by eating your stomach and crawl in your guts

Criminal and red hood: what the fuck-

[mismerccray]

ur in her dms i’m in her boop notifications

[mismerccray]

Boop to your hearts content.

Pin for survivors

[mismerccray]

just imagining a teeny tiny tim being absolutely devastated about jason’s death, that he manages to get on to dark forums to contact a mercenary for a hit on the joker’s life.

and who happens to be that mercenary? deathstroke.

tim wires money from his (admittedly very high) allowance to slade, who finishes the job within the week — news outlets are going crazy as nobody knows who pulled off such a stunt — bruce is confused, and dick is both grateful, that someone took the bastard who killed his baby brothers life, and angry, because bruce wasn’t the one to do it.

slade however? wants to investigate, someone finally had the gall to order a hit on the joker and he’s a little curious to see who it is.

only come to find a little boy all alone in a big house who spends his nights following around a vigilante in a furry suit.

and, well, slade hasn’t been the best parent, and probably doesn’t know how to deal with an average kid, but who can blame him when he begins to train tim into becoming a mercenary just like him — after all, how else is he gonna defend himself on the streets of gotham when he gallivants around with an expensive camera, a sign basically saying ‘kidnap me!’ strapped to his chest?

so what if the kid becomes robin and uses those skills in the cape? that’s batman’s problem to figure out.

[mismerccray]

don't destroy his self-esteem 🐦😆

[mismerccray]

I want a fic or something about the Batfamily where Jason and Dick de-aged back to their Robin days by like a wizard or some shit, then Damian and Tim have to look after them... except they mix them up.

There's two little boys with black hair and blue eyes, wearing the same pants-less costume, and both answering to the name of Robin, but one is all wide eyes and wide smile and one has a murderous anger in his gaze and demeanor, so they make assumptions that *obviously* the murder-y one is Jason and the happy little boy is Dick.

Then they get back to the Batcave and Bruce automatically knows which one is which and calls them by the right names. I just think it'd be a total mind-fuck for Tim and especially Damian.

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.