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Inside Out: Personal Insights

As a lover of Disney movies, it was not unsurprising that I would become extremely fascinated with Inside Out. What surprised me however, was just how much the movie resonated with me even as an adult. Riley’s journey, as an 11-year old girl, was something I strongly identified with, even as an 18-year old.

One of the scenes that particularly struck me was the part where Riley’s mum commended her for staying as their “happy little girl” despite the problems that were striking their family. This might not seem like much, but to me, this shows the incredible pressure that one can get from outside forces to suppress negative emotions and this emotional suppression, as I have come to know through some research, is actually quite risky behavior especially for growing teens who are just starting to deal with new negative emotions. Other scenes that exhibit this idea is when Joy tells Sadness to stay inside a chalk-drawn circle to prevent Sadness on having any influence on Riley’s psyche as well as when Joy tries to shift Bing Bong’s emotional response to losing his wagon to a more positive note, asking him to ponder on what this loss actually means for him, in the hopes of keeping emotions on the lighter side.

Another idea that came to me was influenced by the scenes wherein each Island of Personality collapsed. This occurred to me that as human beings grow up, so do their personalities. It is embedded in human nature that our personalities evolve and adapt to our changing environments. In the movie, the changing environment seemed quite literal as Riley moved from Minnesota to San Francisco but upon watching the movie, I realized that this was actually a metaphor for the process of growing up and starting to become mature enough to deal with the more negative spectrum of emotions. As a budding adult, this idea resonated with me as it encouraged me to reflect on how my personality has changed and adapted as I’ve grown over the years. The fact that the emotions are extremely bothered by the collapse of the Islands of Personality tells me that often, our emotions are slow to adapt to our changing environments. Our emotions favor what is already deemed normal, stable, and thus, growing up seems only to be an earthquake that shakes the foundation of a routine which our emotions have already built to ensure our protection.

The last scene that struck me was not particularly significant to the movie’s plot but to me was just one of the little quirks that made the movie extra special. This was the scene where Riley was at the dinner table with her mum and dad and in the course of their conversation, we got a glimpse of the emotions of the parents. An interesting note about this was that unlike in Riley’s control center where the emotions were quite wild and just free to control Riley’s thoughts and actions, the emotions of the parents were well-organized. The parents’ emotions were seated properly and had actual conversations before deciding on what course of action to take. This intrigued me as it got me to reflect on the organization of my own emotions. Am I nearer to the chaotic control center of Riley or are my emotions capable of sitting themselves down and having a civilized chat?

This past week, my emotions have definitely been tested. A little bit of background on me, I am not a confrontational person. Not at all. I am not exaggerating, I think I would rather swallow my grievances than air them out. This past week, however, a multitude of issues came up, which required me to talk about the negative thoughts I’d been having as well as the issues that I had with this particular person. Before the confrontation happened, I was already planning the escape route in my head of how I was going to flee from the inevitable conversation. During this time, I did nothing but cry and for the first time in a long time, I couldn’t even fall asleep. It felt like every time I closed my eyes, my brain would flash this image of the cause of my depressive state. Inevitably, the time for the conversation arrived and I was forced to let Anxiety, Sadness, and ultimately, Anger, take the wheel in my control center. I spoke all the thoughts that I’d been having and cried every tear that was begging to be shed. But unlike the scenarios that I created in my head, the conversation ended with Forgiveness taking the main stage. After the conversation, I was asked that should another issue come up, I should address it straight away and not let it fester and grow in the dark. I admit that this is something that I am still heavily struggling with but everyday I continue to try.

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““It was the hugs,” she said suddenly. Her eyes flicked up to his, as if they were startled from the hole they were boring into the floor. He crouched down so that their heads were level with each other. “What about the hugs?” he murmured, carefully pulling her hands into his lap. He ran his callous roughened fingertips over her palm, relishing in the shiver they elicited. She had piano fingers, long and deliberate yet so strong that he knew that she had never been good at being idle for long. “He could always pull away first,” she said in a quiet voice, as if the words were so humiliating she couldn’t bare to say them any louder. She remembered the relationship well, a lifetime of her looking longingly at him as he looked right past her. It would’ve taken a fool not to realize that the depths of her feelings for him were infinitely deeper than his for her. It was the little things. The way he listened absentmindedly as she spoke about the things she loved. The way his fingers never itched to touch her waist, the way kissing was always a means to an end and never the main event. It was most obvious when she left him - something that had punched a hole in her chest yet left him slightly bothered and quickly recovered. He was never cruel just indifferent and that ambivalence hurt more than she thought it would.”

— L.A.L. || How she knew

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“I am hurt, but I will heal.”

- Spilled Ink: lionhearted.

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“I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.”

— Emily Bronte

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“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed”

— Friedrich Nietzsche (via neckkiss)

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