missionary-mindset

[missionary-mindset]

Third Time May Not Always be the Charm

I just couldn't believe it. It was May 11, 2017 in the early afternoon. The time had come for me to board my last flight from Paris, France. I was going to Egypt for the third time. It's crazy that I experienced the same butterflies the third time that I experienced the first time going.

When I landed in Cairo, I was reminded of why I am just so enamored with the place. The smells entice you (yes, even the smells of trash & gasoline), the people intrigue you & the adrenaline rush of almost getting ran over by the oncoming traffic excites you. I could have cried in those fleeting moments, but held back my tears to keep attention away from me.

I started greeting familiar faces & seeing places I had ventured before. This feeling was what I had visioned "home" to feel like, but hadn't experienced until I went to Egypt. Unfortunately with the feeling of "home" come feelings of uneasiness that you can't escape because the things that don't make it stay a home-y feel protrude excessively.

I started to realize that this foreign place I felt like I could call home times before wasn't quite what I remembered it being to have even thought that. I began to see the flaws. I began to hate things I loved before. Here's why:

I went to change & not be changed: For the record, this wasn't intentional; it happened as more time passed. I began to see things I didn't like in my friends' characters & ways of thinking because their culture had made them this way. I don't believe for one second that my culture is better than anyone else's, but I believe that we can all learn from each other, but not everyone thinks this way, especially me in my hypocrisy. I angrily went back & forth with people who I had never shown my bad side to before. I thought bad thoughts about people I couldn't stop thinking amazing things about before. I raised my voice at those who meant so much to me. All of this happened because I didn't blend in as much as I had tried to before; I stood out like a sore thumb, & I wasn't welcome for obvious, justified reasons.

I went to lead & not be led: There were several times when I wanted to be in charge of everything happening around me. I got so angry with some of my mission trip team members & Egyptian friends, even with some of the staff at the school, sometimes justified & other times not, when things didn't go my way, the way I had initially planned. I felt disregarded & irrelevant. What was my purpose if I wasn't to guide?? I was the one who already been to this location. I thought I knew everything about it because I felt as if this place was my home. I had already been led by others before me, so I felt as if there was no reason to be led again. I left God behind & let Him catch up when I desperately needed Him to, but only then. I was a fool. I asked God to give me a little bit more of the leash & I broke His trust by running off without warning.

I felt like a lot of the work we did wasn’t needed or appreciated: The work projects we set out to do on this trip were several painting jobs around the campus & work on the computer systems for the school. We also did a week of prayer, but that didn’t take too much effort. That & the computer system work was very much needed & appreciated by all (or most, honestly), but the painting was not. I was told several times by students that I wasn’t doing actual work, that the work of painting was for a woman to do & not a man. I was told by students who we were trying to help that the painting wouldn’t help anything & that we were wasting our time. I was forever scarred by their words. I didn’t fly all the way from my comfort zone to my “comfort zone” just to be insulted & to be made to feel worthless. I was embarrassed, which is never an OK thing in Egyptian culture. I lashed out at those who said these hurtful words because they not only affected me, but they also affected those who I had brought over there to help me do this work. Our group wasn’t perfect in the slightest, but they were & still are my “family,” & you don’t cross family, regardless of whether the relation is apparent or not, or whether it was justified or not.

Even though there was so much negative to reflect on, I still enjoyed a lot of great moments there. I still saw Jesus in several people, in several moments while I was there. I even plan to go back one day because I still love so many things about & people in Egypt, but I know that I will need this time to heal from all of the hurt I experienced this time around.

[missionary-mindset]

Hey, everyone!! I leave for Egypt again in 29 DAYS!! So exciting!! If you could pray for & REBLOG this for me, I'd really appreciate it!! But if you can as well, here are the links to donate: http://southern.edu/give - PLEASE DO THE FOLLOWING WHEN DONATING HERE: Make sure you write my name (Jonathan Rodney) & select "uQuest Missions" in the dropdown menu!! OR http://purecharity.com/jonathan-rodneys-fundraiser-for-egypt-may-2017

[missionary-mindset]

All Is Not In Vain

Hey, everyone! It’s been a while since I wrote on this blog. I finally have something to share, so keep reading! :)

This past weekend at Southern Adventist University was the second SM (Student Missionary) vespers of this school year. SM vespers is always the highlight of the year for me because I’m so passionate about mission work, but it’s also the time when I reflect on my year in Pohnpei & struggle with not knowing if I really made a (profitable) difference there.

Before it was time for the vespers, I went up to Kentucky to get my former student, EJ, so that he could experience SM vespers for himself & see why I went to his school to teach. Everything about it was a blessing: the music which I had the pleasure in helping out in, the videos Alphie put together & the message brought to us from Kim Ford & Kameron Carter. They spoke about WHY people should consider being a student missionary by using some personal stories from their times in Palau & India, respectively. Hearing them talk about their experiences reminded me of mine & how blessed I was to go to Pohnpei & see almost some of the same things. EJ spoke to me about it after & said that it was great for him to be there because he missed going to vespers back in Pohnpei. He also was pretty impressed with how many of us from SAU went out as SMs.

(Nicole, Kim, Carissa, EJ & I representing Pohnpei after SM vespers.)

It didn’t stop there, though.

The reason why I went up to get EJ initially was because of the other events happening elsewhere on another Adventist college’s campus. We had heard that some students from Pohnpei had made their way over to Union College in Lincoln, NE for Union’s annual basketball tournament. How ironic for them to be here this SAME weekend! Of course I wanted to go & see them, so that’s what I did! I made the trek with EJ & another friend of mine, Haro. As soon as we got there, I found a friend of mine from Egypt (another mission trip I have done), Beshoy, put our stuff in his room, showered & were out the door to go find the Pohnpeians. What made this sweeter was that two other people from Pohnpei, Zach & LaeAnnie, were also there surprising their little sister, Danielle, as well, so it made our adrenaline levels rise even more knowing that we had even more people to shock.

(The little bro Zach & I.)

We caught all of them during church, so their reactions weren’t quite as crazy as what we pictured in our heads, but seeing a lot of them gasping for air & wide-eyed really brightened my day, & it technically had barely even started!

I caught them again later on in the day for dinner. Wow, I can’t believe how much I missed hearing Pohnpeian! My brain missed hearing certain words I knew & trying to piece the sentences together. I missed hearing their laughs, too, though their voices were way more mature now (it had been three years since I’d seen them last!). It was also nice meeting all of the other students & teachers I didn’t know because they came after my year was done. As I started to notice that time was slipping away from us to actually be able to talk, some of the boys & I started up a conversation. We talked a little bit about each year since I’ve been gone. They enjoyed a lot of things in the other years, but something they said to me really stuck out.

Cris & Tristan (or Logan), two of my best choir students from when I was there teaching them (Bass II & Tenor II, respectively), began to tell me how they missed our year of choir. They explained that they’ve been good with their other teachers since I left, but they really liked our year because we never used instruments; we only used our voices. They liked the songs & just how everything was. I was so touched by them saying that. When I was there, I didn’t feel like what I was doing was really worth anything to any of us. But all is not in vain.

We all headed to the dorms after dinner because the boys’ & girls’ teams were both playing at 8:30 PM, so it was time for them to get ready. This was the biggest reason why I had gone: to cheer them on live! Zach & I watched the boys’ game. It was so close at parts! They’d catch up to only being 2 points behind here & there, so it looked really good for them from our view. They made almost all of their free throws & had a lot of other nice shots. Even though both teams ended up losing (guys - 56-61 & girls - 24-28, respectively), they fought hard, TOGETHER. All is not in vain.

(All of the Dolphins & many of their fans.)

After the games, I noticed that two of my former sixth graders were still not really talking to me since I had gotten there. I thought about it & realized that they still may be mad at me for the way I treated them when I was teaching them. The year I was there was a huge growing year for me, so I was probably really harsh with them. I ended up messaging one of them because I felt the Holy Spirit tugging on my heart. I apologized for everything & explained that I was still young at the time & learning how to be better. I got a response back from the one I messaged shortly after sending my message & part of the reply was, “But aye! The past is the past.. We didn’t hate u anymore and we love u and miss u so much! Wish u can visit us again soon…” I could have just kept my pride & told myself that I was justified in what I did because I was their teacher, but that would be wrong of me. Keeping good relations with people who really helped me become a better person is extremely necessary for me. All is not in vain.

It was time to go now. As I was driving home with the boys who came with me, I messaged another former 6th grade student of mine who’s still back in Pohnpei. She has been asking me for chocolate since maybe November or sometime even before that. Because I had lost my wallet, I wasn’t able to get them for her before I parted ways from the group before it was found. I felt sad that I couldn’t do this for her, so I messaged her letting her know my surprise & how it had failed. She said it was fine & that she was still waiting for them to be sent otherwise. LOL. We kept talking & she ended up telling me how much all of the others in her class love & miss me. All is not in vain. She also hinted at going to their graduation in 2020 by saying, “We all agreed that if you would want to come during our senior graduation 😂💀”. The conversation kept going & she sent me pictures of them in class & even called me over the video chat setting on Facebook Messenger.

(My former 6th graders, Kekoa & Mya, now freshmen in high school took a selfie for me.)

These people don’t know how much they mean to me. Hearing their voices, seeing their faces, connecting with them again— the nostalgia caused a whirlwind of beautiful butterflies to emerge & take flight inside my stomach. I’m so honored to say that I am apart of this ever-growing dolphin pod.

If these aren’t good reasons to be a student missionary, then I don’t know what else could be. Even when you don’t think you’re doing the right thing or doing enough, God somehow makes everything worth it.

All was not in vain.

[missionary-mindset]

“Home”-sick | 1/18/16

Being so far away from places where your heart feels the most comfortable is the most heart-and-gut-wrenching feeling in the entire world. Looking at pictures and videos from what seems like your recent past and having nostalgia bullrush you relentlessly is unbearable. I miss my former students. I miss my minimal living conditions. I miss FULLY relying on God 24/7. I miss the friends I know I have made for a lifetime.

That’s why I need your help.

I am raising money to go back to the beautiful island of Pohnpei in May. More information is on the link provided: https://www.youcaring.com/jonathan-rodney-493899

[missionary-mindset]

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”

― Vincent van Gogh

[missionary-mindset]

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? | 3/14/15

Well, this is my last night here in Egypt. I am leaving NUA in 8 hours, & Egypt as a country in 11. I am honestly so full of emotions right now.

I have been completely overwhelmed with so much love & care from these people. They are so affectionate & wonderful; so much so that whenever I think about leaving them, I feel my heart about to burst open into a complete demise of internal bleeding. If I would have come here for a whole school year last year, my body would have probably just somehow automatically committed suicide because of all the pain & agony I would have felt from everything I felt from being here. My heart is just so heavy. I’ve never felt this way before. I will never forget these people or our memories. EVER.

I might forget other things about this trip. Like maybe the things I read in the museum, or what I had for breakfast Monday morning, or how many pyramids there are. But that’s because those things are so minute & unimportant. So when I return to the States, don’t ask me about the pyramids; they were cool. Don’t ask me about the food; it was great. Don’t ask me about terrorism; there isn’t any. Ask me about the memories I made. Ask me about the people that I now know and love. Ask me how God revealed Himself to me through them. Because I’ll have amazing answers for you.

Until my next mission trip, & the next time I come back here (which will hopefully be next year).

[missionary-mindset]

Reminiscent | 3/11/15 Wow. I am absolutely blown away by realizing how many years (3) ago on this SAME DAY have gone by since I embarked on my first but DEFINITELY NOT last mission trip to Nicaragua. These are just some of the amazing people from my academy that decided to take the call from God & go as well: Kelah, Melanie, Hannah, & Aidan. :)

[missionary-mindset]

[missionary-mindset]

Why Am I Here? | 3/9/2015

I have seen very interesting or weird things here in Egypt. I've seen a concoction of rice, an array of pastas, & relish-like tomato sauce put together to make one of the best food dishes EVER created. I’ve seen men holding hands with each other because, in this culture, it’s not viewed as defining who you are attracted to. I’ve seen every bit of love given out from each student’s heart in just moments of seeing our faces; something you’d never see from Americans unless they’re not much older than 4 or 5. But I’ve also seen the mysterious workings of God regarding the reason why I came to this love-filled state of Africa.

It’s always an adventure to figure out what God wants you to learn on mission trips. It’s always an adventure figuring out your purpose in life in the first place. But my purpose has been found for this mission trip.

Before I came to Egypt, I prayed here & there about why God had finally allowed me to come here. If you know God, He always answers in one of three ways (usually): yes, no, & wait. Every time I had prayed, He told me to wait. I’ve gained a bigger gauge for patience from being in Pohnpei, so I was OK for the most part, but my patience was starting to dwindle down. It wasn’t until the day we were supposed to leave when I heard a Voice tell me my “Yes” answer of, “Take your ‘Steps to Christ’ book” as I packed books in my backpack that I wanted to read while here. I thought this was a weird inclination, seeing that I had totally forgotten that book was in my possession. But I just did it & didn’t look back.

When I went to my first breakfast in Egypt on Friday morning, I met a kid named DC (short for Desmond something…). After talking to him for a while, it was at that moment that I knew why I had brought that book with me.

But I’m not going to stop there. There are so many other guys (& girls too) here at NUA who are longing to have someone tell them what they NEED to hear. If God is using me to speak to them, then let my words be translated not only into Arabic for those who need it, but into a loving friendship so strongly bound by God that NOTHING can break it apart.

That may seem interesting or weird to the world, but I know that in my heavenly culture, it's perfectly normal.

[missionary-mindset]

Well, Well, Well | 3/3/15

Help me finish this famous saying: Life is (truly) like a ___ ____ __ __________. Need to buy a vowel? You think you've got it? Well, hopefully you said "box full of chocolates", because it's actually true.

Last year as many know, I was supposed to go to Egypt last school year as a student missionary. But due to politics & unrest there, my trip was cancelled, & I went off to the wonderful island of Pohnpei instead.

Even though I am very grateful for my time there in Pohnpei, I was still a little bitter & actually pretty heartbroken about not being able to go to Egypt. But after being an SM, I now realize that I wanted to go to Egypt for a lot of the wrong reasons. I was basically the modern-day Jonah, if you will. I thought that nothing could possibly be done on an island, seeing that they're always advertised as "paradise", & I wanted a challenge. & don't get me wrong, Pohnpei was paradise in some aspects, but maybe not in the superficial ways that people always think about. Not only that, but it also wasn't in many ways as well; nowhere is perfect. I had found my challenge.

After coming to the realization that everywhere on this earth needs help, & not just certain places, God saw it fit for me to finally embark on a trip of a lifetime.

Tomorrow is the day I will hesitantly set foot on an airplane to Cairo, Egypt. Forget the unrest that's happened over there; the unrest that's resided in my being has been way worse! But should I be afraid? God has told me personally, "[I am] with [you]; [you] will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to [you]?" (Psalm 118:6 NIV)

WHAT CAN MERE MORTALS DO TO ME? Absolutely nothing. & all of a sudden, I am at peace. Whatever happens, happens for God's glory. I am happy to be able to further His word throughout the world so that we can go home.

I invite you to live vicariously through me as I journey out of my comfort zone once again to go & taste the "chocolate" God is giving me. Until I land, Godspeed to all.

[missionary-mindset]

That Was Fast | 8/21/14

I didn’t think this day would come so quickly!! Today marks a year from the day I stepped on my first plane taking me to the wonderful island of Pohnpei. I can’t believe time has gone by so fast.

When I look back at my experience, there are SO many things I would change. But if I changed any of those things, it wouldn’t have made me the man I am today. I learned so much on that trip, & I’m thankful God called me to the mission field last school year. I plan on doing MUCH more mission work in the future, even possibly going back to Pohnpei after I graduate. I’m putting all of these future opportunities into His hands for Him to lead me. Hopefully I can be used once again for His work to spread His gospel.

Until my next mission trip!! :)

[missionary-mindset]

Never A Right Time... | 4/7/14

Well...I never thought my missionary experience would end like this.

As many people know, I have been sick since I got here, pretty much. Things really haven't shaped up from one parasite or disease after the other, so as a result, I was told by the doctor to go back home to get better. Since I've had these amoeba parasites in me from the very end of February, I have had basically no will to live. I had even lost a little over 10 lbs. after 4 days from a combination of diarrhea & not eating. I wasn't taking care of myself-- I mean, what sick person with nothing inside of him has any motivation to take care of himself?? Even though I've gotten better here & there, nothing has collectively subsided.

Tonight is my last night/morning in Pohnpei. I won't post this until some events have taken place.

No words can describe what I feel right now. I'm so happy that I'm going home to get better, but I'm so sad that I'm leaving so many new friends & "family". I hope I get to see them 1 day on earth, but I know I will see them in heaven. I love everyone here so much. I made the mistake of focusing on the negatives that I experienced here, but I realize now that everything that took place was a positive. I have been shaped into a completely better person. I hope I have helped these kids, or even the staff, in different ways, too.

I may be leaving physically everyone here physically, but I will never let these people leave my heart, & I hope I don't leave theirs.

[missionary-mindset]

My second mom & “little sister”. :)

[missionary-mindset]

It wasn't really my idea to go to the islands and get some education over there. It was recommended by some of my family members, mostly by my grandparents. I guess they want me to experience being around my own kind more and seeing how it is in the islands. Sometimes I get excited and think about absolutely going, but also sometimes I kinda get scared and think some bad thoughts about it. By the way, USA education isn't always 'better' though. It has some pros and cons too like the islands.

Well, it's definitely a difference in pace!! & of course I know that; nothing is perfect on this earth. But America has more stability because basically every teacher has degrees & certifications. Most schools in the islands have "teachers" who are still students themselves. Just a thought. :)

[missionary-mindset]

[missionary-mindset]

Shaquille (6th grade): Misteeeeeeeeeer!! Here!! Have some chocolate.

me: You know I'm allergic!!

Vitra (3rd grader): Mister...are you allergic to chocolate because YOU'RE chocolate??

[missionary-mindset]

7-month mark | 3/23/14

I can't believe today marks 7 months of me being here. It's a very weird reality to think about.

To be honest, I don't know what to write today.

I guess I can say that I'm done with day 5 of my amoeba treatment. I don't know why parasites keep finding MY body, but I'm committed to them never finding me again!! I've vowed not to eat any chicken for the rest of the time I'm here in Pohnpei.

Last week was Spirit Week, which I didn't really participate in because I was so sick. I did do Career Day on Monday wearing my Facebook "[Like] a boss" shirt, & Twin Day on Tuesday (with Caleb [Kim & Karyn were twins with each other, but we happened to match them, too. lol]).

62 more days to be here; let's finish this strongly!!