missrachelbberryy-blog - Tumblr blog

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Text ✉️ Pezberry

Rachel: you are a jerk. But no. Dealing with Sam. Do I really have to do this?

Santana: You didn't specify, and I know that could be a real problem for you. Just looking out for you.

Santana: Yes, you do. You made your bed, Dwarf. Lay in it with him.

Rachel: please, i dont want too! I didnt even do anything to deserve this!

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Text ✉️ Pezberry

RACHEL: Help. Me.

SANTANA: You finally saw your reflection. I know I'm a miracle worker, Berry, but there's really nothing I can do to fix that. Surgery, maybe? I could hook you up with my boob job guy, he probably deals with facial surgery, too.

Rachel: you are a jerk. But no. Dealing with Sam. Do I really have to do this?

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Text ✉️ Pezberry

rachel: Help. Me.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ SAMCHEL

Rachel: I keep forgetting that someone actually wants to put up with you on a daily basis. And shes not even getting paid for it. Shes a trooper. I dont care, lets just get this date over with

Sam: Shut up. She's an amazing person and unlike you ever will she loves me. We can't go on a date if you have that attitude, princess.

Rachel: oh god. And we have to go on a date. So i have this attitude. Deal with it. And dont call me princess

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ SAMCHEL

rachel: so are we doing this date thing or what? Everyone keeps hounding me that there hasnt been any news about us in a few days. Apparently, we have to create drama.

Sam: I had to convince my girlfriend to let me do this so sorry if I was focused on that instead of an actual date. Where do you want to go? She'd love to be the mistress in our relationship.

Rachel: I keep forgetting that someone actually wants to put up with you on a daily basis. And shes not even getting paid for it. Shes a trooper. I dont care, lets just get this date over with

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ SAMCHEL

rachel: so are we doing this date thing or what? Everyone keeps hounding me that there hasnt been any news about us in a few days. Apparently, we have to create drama.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

I dont care about the other stuff you just said, but fake dating? This is insane Santana. Apparently, he has a real girlfriend..imagine when they find out. I can see the headlines now. “Hot new tv star, cheated on by her sexy co-star”. Oh it’s going to be a hit, with photos of him and I plastered all over the newsstands. Who thought this was a good idea? it’s just going to cause unwanted drama, that I do not have the time for

[private]

Please, I have to insult him every five minutes. Insults are my way of living, if I don’t dish them out, I’ll probably die. Is that what you want, Berry? Imagine the crap you’d get yourself into if I wasn’t here to keep you in line. You’re gonna hate my fix for it, and that fact only makes it more fun to tell you. I talked to Puckerman. You and Evans are a thing now. At least, to the public. And you’re gonna play up to it as much as you possibly can. You got yourself into this mess, Dwarf, so don’t blow it. Congrats on the new beau.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Oh god, can you not say that we will be perfect together. Furthest thing from that, actually. Babe? no stop that right now, that is disgusting. I don’t want to touch your abs and no, I will not be taking my shirt off and throwing it at you. In your dreams maybe.

Please, don’t remind me. Apparently we have to go on a date too. You’re buying, get your credit card ready.

Maybe we’re perfect together then with being divas. Oh come on babe don’t be mean, you love looking at my abs, I’ll even let you touch them. You’re being too modest Rach, we all know it’s your shirt you’ll be taking off to throw at me.

I can’t believe they want us to pretend to be dating.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Okay, I would like to keep Kurt as my stylist..so stop insulting him every five minutes. Ha, so funny. I am always clean and free of leg hair. Thank you. Ugh fine, whatever. Just fix this, so I dont have to be associated with that boy, other then just the show itself.

Right, it’s half your apartment, not your girlfriend’s, so how about you tell him to move his hair out of our shower drain. I’d assume it came from you, but I’ve seen your legs, I don’t think you’ve shaved since the 90s. Yeah, well, it’s not, so now we have to deal with it. He’s not going to do anything, but even someone as superior as me needs a little professional advice sometimes. Tell anyone I said that and I’ll be peeling Hummel’s hair out of the drain and giving it to Quinn to photograph and sell as yours.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Uh huh, and you say im the diva. You are just as much a diva as I am. And you saying all that, just proved it.  Actually, I can deny that because I do not squirm in my chair when you are shirtless. In fact, I would love to just throw a shirt at you and tell you to get out of my way

Of course I’d love to be waited on like that, but still, there’s a thing called being lazy and not doing things for yourself. I’m a guy though, it’s expected of me to have some model type girl doing errands and such for me. Yeah, my air headed self, beautiful lips and body have girls hooked. Even you can’t deny you squirm a little bit in your chair when I’m shirtless.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Typical male. I just rolled my eyes so hard. First of all, you act like you wouldn’t want to be waited on hand and foot. But if the opportunity presented itself, you would jump at the chance in a heartbeat. Especially if it was some little model type girl, running around doing everything for you. Please, like you wouldn’t just love that. I don’t treat all the crew like crap, some of them are good at their jobs. I can’t say the same for some others. Do they? Because I certainly  don’t

That’s the only way I find you attractive, somewhat, making your agent weak in the knees as you give it to her good. No, that’s where you’re wrong, I know the diva in you would love some guy to do everything on your to do list. You want some guy to be your bitch, I see how you treat the crew on set, like crap. They totally dig the airhead thing.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

it’s half my apartment, i can do whatever I want in it.  Advice..nag..its all the same, Santana. Uh well it would have been nice to be a different story of the week. Not that I am dating my air headed co-star. What is Puckerman going to do? He’s just the producer..is he even fit to make decisions like this?

No. You and Lady Hummel ugly up the apartment enough already, the reindeer sweaters are going, so you best make your peace with that. I don’t nag, I advise. And my advice is golden, remember that. It’s the sad truth. The fact that you’re the story of the week in any sense is something that probably wouldn’t have happened without my help, so before you ask me again why I’m your Publicist, there’s your answer. Mhm, good, it wasn’t a request. I’ll talk to Puckerman and figure something out.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

How does it feel dating your co-star Sam Evans? I bet a lot of girls want him.

Sam and I are not dating. It was just a well timed photo with a fake story. 

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Yeah, okay. Just because the thought of me and Santana hooking up might make you a little excited, doesn’t make me a lesbian. You couldn’t be more wrong. I enjoy male attention, but I don’t go out seeking it, like you claim I do. I am not desperate. And because I am not desperate you automatically think I am a lesbian? Classic. You are such a charmer, I don’t understand how you have all the girls hanging off of you. If only they knew how much of an air head you really are.

I have plenty of girls into me, just because I hate you doesn’t mean I can’t talk nice to other women. What then you probably have your head between your agent’s legs so she’d be nice to you for once. Since you don’t like male attention or anything, I knew you screamed lesbian. Maybe that should be in the headlines. Rachel Berry Hetero Star Lead a Lesbian? Just how much is she paying her agent.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Obviously,I didn’t mean you had a daughter.  I’m just surprised any one would be into you. And please, I am so not desperate for male attention. I don’t need a boyfriend. And I certainly would not have chosen you as my first choice if I were you want male attention. Well we are not telling people that I have a thing for you. No. 

Not a daughter, a girl who is really into me, can’t have her flipping shit over this impossible rumor. Because I don’t know you’re desperate for male attention or something? No we are not saying that because again people will flip that to I have a thing for you, which will never happen.

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

Don’t touch my things while I am on set, I’ll only wear them in the apartment? Deal? Plus, Kurt would have a fit if I walked around in one and got photographed in it. And I really don’t need both of you nagging me about that at one time. One of you nagging is enough. Oh god, stop talking. That was an image I could have gone my entire life without thinking about. Thanks for that. Of course she isn’t letting up, she thinks she just hit the story of the week. Fine, yes mother. I’ll lay low.

God, your dads really did have some lasting damage on you, didn’t they? Trust me, you did not look good in those sweaters. And to make sure you don’t tarnish the slight improvement you’ve made on your image, I’ll be in your room shredding those things while you deal with your hangover on set. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have nearly as big a headache if I did this stuff for someone else, but I doubt anybody else would want to deal with your constant nagging, so I’m doing the world a public service. Look, RuPaul, I believe you, so you can sashay away, but the rest of the world is going to think what they want to think, and you know that’s going to be nothing innocent. Probably, people get way too into show couples and want them to date in real life, it’s practically a sick fangirl rule. Trust me, some little girl out there is fiddling her diddle over this news, and you and Fish Face are gonna have to deal with whatever comes of it, because Fabray isn’t letting up. No, what I want is for you to lay low and don’t make this any worse than it already is, got it?

[missrachelbberryy-blog]

wait wait, first of all..you have a girl? Secondly, why on earth would I attempt to make a move on you first? I might have been drunk, but not that drunk. Or you know, we can just tell the truth and say that I tripped and fell and you were just there to catch me. Because literally, thats all that happened. 

No I’m confident about a lot of things, self centered is you and a lot worse than having confidence. You only care about yourself, and that’s a damn shame. They are stupid, listen this is how we’re going to go about this… you are going to admit to making a move on me, and I denied you, we are not going to let this stupid rumor get my girl confused, okay? You made a move I denied, she’d hate you and not me.