mistersubtle - Tumblr blog

[mistersubtle]

It's dishonest work and it's a lot. And nobody needs to do it

[mistersubtle]

this burger i just cooked for dinner is the most burger looking burger ive ever made. this is the standard burger shape . this thing looks like a krabby patty

[mistersubtle]

[mistersubtle]

"why don't super-intelligent Pokemon like Metagross and Alakazam just take over humanity if they're smarter than us" imagine that a random primate gave you free housing, food, and medical care for the rest of your life for literally no reason other than they want to be friends with you and I think you'll understand

[mistersubtle]

i read this to adam and he just yelled, outraged, "THEYRE BABIES"

[mistersubtle]

i wish i had a floating evil skull to follow me around and when we went to the grocery store she would say something like my liege we must purchase the strawberry cream cheese for the coming days and i would be like oh fuck youre so right and put it in my cart and then we would walk down the next aisle together our beautiful life

[mistersubtle]

My boyfriend was showing me his cat and I leaned over to kiss the cat on his soft little baby head and he went "meow" and scrambled away because I'd been wearing my headphones and I accidentally jabbed him with the microphone.

And I said "Damn, this is exactly like in the Iliad"

[mistersubtle]

My 11-year-old couldn't decide what flavor of ramen to make, so I told her to flip a coin. Heads for spicy chicken, tails for beef.

Taking my advice, she flipped a penny, and when it landed on tails she said "Wait! Wait! I did it wrong!"

I told her that she did it right, because the real reason for flipping a coin isn't to let fate decide for you, but because when the coin is in the air, you will suddenly realize what you wanted in the first place.

I'm sure there's a life lesson there somewhere…

But honestly, I have never known her to pass up spicy chicken.

[mistersubtle]

[mistersubtle]

In 1988, ACT UP protested the FDA withholding HIV treatment due to requiring unethical double-blind studies of medication they already knew worked.

In 2024, trans activists protested promoters of an NHS-funded report requiring unethical double-blind studies of medication they already knew worked.

[mistersubtle]

every news article about the idfs military strategy right now (or really just lack of any legitimate military strategy) and their vindictive sadistic attacks on civilians because theyre failing at fighting a guerilla army shows that theyre operating like the fucking einsatzgruppen but no you cant say that its gonna make some brainwashed ethnonationalist feel uncomfortable

[mistersubtle]

i just realized this is funny every month of the year actually

[mistersubtle]

Organize. It will make the difference.

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[mistersubtle]

“she’s got legs for days” pfffft not impressive. i;ve had mine for years

[mistersubtle]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[mistersubtle]

He doesn’t even know, and he doesn’t want to.