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Love... Actually?

The Netflix produced reality romance series Dating Around appears to dismantle all stereotypes associated with similar popular programs. While it joins the likes of The Bachelor and Love Island by genre alone, there are many differences that make Dating Around appear to be an outlier aimed towards a niche audience of viewers who want to watch true love unfold on screen in a way that resembles real life. 

A still showing a date between two participants of Dating Around, a Netflix-produced romance-based reality show that is very good at hiding the fact that it is a romance-based reality show.

Dating Around is memorable as a more realistic portrayal of dating thanks to a few critical factors that are polarizing when compared to other reality programs. For one, the show is situated around the idea of intimacy. Usually, there are multiple contestants all thrust into the same living environment and forced into close encounters, such as the ploy of making contestants share beds on Love Island being an integral part of the show’s narrative.  Dating Around shows dates between 5 potential matches as they occur - separately from each other. They are set in restaurants, often at night, with lighting and ambience that evokes feelings typically associated with the makings of a romantic evening. Asides from the crafty framing, the narrative structure of the show is focused less on a game show aspect, like many romantic reality shows are. Competition has become an integral part of reality television, but the aggressive nature that is associated with shows like Are You The One? and Love Island is not usually associated with the idea of dating. In Dating Around, there is no artificial conflict, or evidence of production teams pitting contestants against each other. Since the format of the show allows each couple to have time alone to get to know each other, all of the awkwardness that comes along with meeting someone for the first time is captured on Dating Around. The reactions and responses appear to be authentic, and the encounters are certainly more candid than most reality shows. The way that Dating Around is able to simulate environments recognizable to audiences and depict the innerworkings of what two strangers coming together really looks like results in audiences being better able to relate to the show. Like dating in real life, sometimes you say the wrong thing. Other times, there is an instant connection. While in theory, not everyone would be able to relate to going on 5 different dates consecutivley, the theory that dating is a process of elimination is relatable; in real life, people are presented with choosing a candidate best suited for them out of those within their circle. Dating Around allows viewers to indirectly go on a series of dates alongside the suitor, and then decide for themselves who the best option for companionship would be based on compatibility; it emulates the experience of dating for viewers, allowing them to participate with zero stakes in the game.

The show lures viewers into thinking that it is widely dissimilar to other shows, yet the presence of a camera crew alone is enough to lower levels of authenticity between the couples. It is very hard to relax when being filmed once made conscious of the camera. Each of the 5 contestant featured on each episode are vying to be chosen for the winning date. Based on the sole fact that they are on the show, the contestants are fully aware of the premise, meaning that even though they are not face-to-face with their competitors, the airs of competition are still present. As described by Lauren Berlant in Desire/Love, the fantasy world of romance is what society considers to be the standard for love. Even though there is no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, thait is what people have been taught to strive for. When consuming media, sometimes viewers want the feeling of escape, which highly produced shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette provide; in reality, viewers would never juggle twelve possible suitors at the same time, but that is exactly what keeps them tuned in. Dating Around feels more familiar, making it seem like less of an escape for viewer. However, it is still the presentation of a fantasy. bell hooks describes the search for love as the quest to know the feeling of belonging. Finding the feeling of full acceptance is nearly impossible for contestants of Dating Around, as the idea of the show is to have shallow levels of sharing, followed by the sure-fire selection of one of the five possible dates as the winner. Nobody on the show is preparing themselves to fully accept a lover, thus the interactions can appear to be more of a job interview than a genuine attempt to get to know the other person. That being said, a lot can happen off camera, but therein lies the problem; viewers can only see what Dating Around allows them to see. While the program comes pretty close to replicating the ups and downs of chasing after companionship, it is still a fantasy produced to romanticize the entire process. While a step in the right direction, the show does not truly detach from the typical ideals of reality television and the highly fictionalized definition of true love that it promotes.

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Love Stories in Western Culture: Duplicating Desire

The inclusion of desire in narratives within Western media has played an integral role in captivating audiences for centuries. The concept of desire depicted in Western culture has gradually taken on a rather hyperbolic identity, with the symptoms of desire becoming synonymous with the symptoms of insanity. The intimate, personal, and unique phenom that regularly occurs in the world has been bastardized, partly due to the consistent representation of desire in mainstream television and films. Most notably, romantic works of literature can be credited as the main culprit behind the reputation that desire has gained in modern times. Upon analyzing works of romantic fiction, it becomes clear why desire has turned taboo, and lost much of its integrity as a natural human emotion and expression.

Vampires and Emily Brontë? Despite the difference in decades, the leading man in Twilight is very similar to the original dark and mysterious antihero from Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff (L), played by Laurence Olivier in Wuthering Heights (1939), beside Edward Cullen (R), played by Robert Pattison in Twilight (2008). 

When analyzing works of fiction, author Catherine Belsey states in her 1994 novel, Desire, that the presence of desire promises “satisfaction, pleasure, and fulfillment” for readers (Belsey, 22). Here, Belsey alludes to the level of expectation that consumers familiar with the genre of romance hold when beginning to read a new novel; despite variety in characters and settings, readers can expect romance novels to follow a formulaic and structural approach. There is a tangible feeling of comfort that comes with knowing exactly what is going to happen next, and it is that feeling that the readers themselves desire. Belsey points out common tropes used in romance plots to prove the power that similarity holds over readers. For example, the “beautiful, sensuous, and witty” young heroine is often in pursuit of the “dark [and] striking” hero, who is usually identifiable by his high social standing or economic power (21). 

Belsey states that readers are not necessarily deterred by the sameness present in romances, as they buy romantic novels for the purpose of entertainment. Writers understand that audiences do not want to be challenged. As such, romances are certainly dynamic, but never chaotic to the point where there is no sound resolution. While the chance to live happily ever after is a luxury enjoyed solely by characters existing between the pages of romantic literature, a “satisfactory resolution” is accepted by audiences, as it has become “synonymous for love” (22).

Yet, if romantic narratives have become so predictable, why are they still so prominent in Western media? Love stories are important because they are written in a language that is has been universally understood for many years. As Belsey states, “the source of our knowledge [about romance] is intertextual” (31). Past forms of literature have formulated our understanding of the world, dating back to traditions of oral storytelling shared amongst early humans. One could argue that there are no new ideas found in mainstream entertainment in Western culture. Books, television shows, and films successful today gain attention because they are built upon the foundations that have been set by past popular pieces. Belsey references various examples of nineteenth-century gothic romances, such as Gone With the Wind, Pride and Prejudice, and Jane Eyre, as classical literature that has been recycled and reproduced throughout the years. Belsey even goes as far as to dissect how the 1939 film adaption of Gone With the Wind became known as one of the most recognizable modern love stories to ever appear on screen.

Surprisingly, Belsey does not really reference many of the plays written by William Shakespeare, despite him being one of the most highly regarded and studied authors in Western culture. Western society has an infatuation with Shakespeare’s works. This infatuation is warranted, as the plots in Shakespeare’s comedies and tragedies have become the framework for creative narrative writing in the West. While Shakespeare’s theatrical works varied in content, they shared an abundance of similarities which audiences became familiar with. For example, all of Shakespeare’s comedies rely on complicated romantic plots that involves confusion between lovers, but ultimately can be identified as a comedy if a wedding occurs in the end. The consistent appearance of a wedding scene allowed for Shakespeare’s audiences to identify the genre, and learn to expect similar scenes in future productions. Shakespeare’s plays have become staple educational tools in Western schooling. However, Shakespeare’s writing is not studied because it is revolutionary by today’s standards, but rather because it provided clear cut formulas for other authors to follow. In this way, romance novels mimic Shakespeare’s use of patterns and structure. 

Much like romantic novels, Shakespeare’s work is not wholly original either; there are many elements of Shakespeare’s writing that can be traced back to ancient entertainment. Greek epics are comparable, as their narratives are also consistent and recognizable to audiences. Heroes were expected to embark on journeys and encounter unfathomable tragedies.

The aspect that has allowed for the work of the Greeks, Shakespeare, and romance authors of the nineteenth-century alike to remain relevant today is that their work revolved around emotions that are innately human and universally understood. That is the reason why stories from the past are able to be reworked into modern-day adaptions that maintain relatability with new audiences. For romantic narratives, the sheer presence of desire, as expressed by characters, encourages audiences to engage in the story. Every person has experienced the feeling of wanting before, even if it was not a romantic or erotic desire. People can then identify that same feeling of desire in someone else and empathize, whether it be in ink, on stage, or onscreen.

There is hope for the genre to evolve as of yet. Certain archetypes, such as the brooding, mysterious, and reclusive male lover has not evolved greatly from the likes of Heathcliff in Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights to Edward Cullen of Twilight. Still, many modern examples of re-vamped romance give hope to the future of romances. Screenwriting duo Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith are credited with creating some of the most popular teenage romantic comedy films from the 2000’s, by using well-know tropes, characters, and clichés as tools to counter outdated discourses. Lutz and Smith are best known for expertly reworking Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew into the 1999 hit 10 Things I Hate About You. Lutz and Smith recognized how strongly the wills of characters from The Taming of the Shrew could resonate with audiences if presented in a more modern time. They also adapted Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night into the romantic comedy She’s The Man (2006). The success of their adaptions of William Shakespeare into popular romantic films aimed to please audiences in the 21stcentury alone proves that there is success to be found in regurgitating romantic narratives in the past. 

Amanda Bynes pictured as Viola Hastings (R) in the She’s The Man (2006), a modern adaption of Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. In the film, Viola dresses up as her brother Sebastian (L) to continue her dream of playing soccer, which differs from the original text greatly. 

Belsey is correct in saying that romance is “widely held in contempt in Western culture”, and due to the plethora of clichés that plagues the genre today, it will likely remain as such for years to come (32). However, desire acting as driving force in romance narratives has allowed the genre to continue thriving as “harmless escape” for audiences over many generations (31). Romantic pieces of fiction have survived by presenting real human emotions and human issues in easily digestible formats. Western society should care about love stories, because regardless of being subjected to mass production, stories about desire will always resonate with human audiences. 

If it isn’t broken, there is no need to fix it. 

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The Hate U Give: Contrast for Clarity

Angie Thomas masterfully uses foils in her novel, The Hate U Give, to bring focus to the difficulties that young black Americans face while navigating a society which at its foundation is systemically racist. Thomas’ use of foils creates a contrast that perfectly highlight the struggles that protagonist Starr Carter attempts to navigate throughout the story. 

Starr is thrown into an intense social climate after the recent death of a close friend. Starr is in the car with her friend, Khalil Harris, when he is fatally shot by a police officer. Both Starr and Khalil are people of colour who hail from the same neighbourhood. In the wake of Khalil’s death, Starr begins to examine her interactions with those around her. Starr begins to come to terms with the fact that she leads somewhat of a double-life, as she feels forced to project different versions of herself depending on her environment. As a student at the predominantly white private school, Williamson Prep, Starr feels pressure to assimilate to the culture perpetrated within the school by the student body and thus, alters her personality to fit in. Starr acknowledges that she even feels restricted around her boyfriend and fellow student, Chris. Chris is a white male. Despite Starr commenting on her relationship with Chris being strong, she admits that her actions are subconsciously altered in response. Starr recognizes that she is an alien in this environment due to her race. Starr is voicing her discomfort about feeling the need to participate in code-switching, which is a phenom that occurs when one alternates between different types of language, behaviour, and social codes, depending on who they are surrounded by. As a black girl, Starr feels as though she needs to change her behavior to reflect that of her fellow classmates at Williamson Prep.

Much like in the novel, the film adaption reveals how Starr has very different relationships with her friends from Garden Heights and Williamson Prep. This contrast is represented through her relationships with people from her community, such as Khalil, in comparison to her fellow students, such as Chris. Above: Starr, played by Amandla Stenberg, catches a ride with Khalil, played by Algee Smith. Below: Stenberg as Starr pictured at Williamson Prep with her boyfriend Chris, played by KJ Apa. Stills from The Hate U Give (2018). 

In contrast, Starr has grown up surrounded by people of the same race in her neighbourhood of Garden Heights. While one would assume that Starr would be able to act more freely in a community that she was raised in, Starr feels disconnected from Garden Heights after attending Williamson Prep. Starr struggles with her identity due to implications that come with her being black. At Williamson Prep, she is hyper-aware of being black since she is one of the few people of colour at the school. As such, she attempts to alter her behaviour to hide characteristics she possess which she fears would bring attention to her race. Yet by doing so, Starr feels as though she is isolating herself from the black community in Garden Heights.

Starr utilizes code-switching in an attempt to balance her life at school and her life at home. Code-switching is a phenom that occurs when one alternates between different types of language and behaviour depending on their surroundings. Starr is constantly modifying how she acts based on who she is with. As a black girl, Starr feels as though she needs to change her behavior to reflect that of her white classmates at Williamson Prep. However, this has resulted in Starr feeling as though her time at Williamson Prep has caused her to fall out of touch culturally and socially with the black members of the Garden Heights community. Starr finds herself struggling to connect with the other members of the neighbourhood after attending Williamson Prep, having spent the majority of her time away from the close-knit community and with white people. In this way, Starr can never truly feel as though she is completely comfortable in either setting while constantly trying to meet the expectations of those around her based on her race.

The contrast between Starr’s two worlds is not only reliant on race. Thomas further emphasizes the differences by the class structures represented by both environments. Williamson Prep is full of youths who have been raised by affluent families. In contrast, poverty has forced many residents of the inner-city neighbourhood of Garden Heights to turn to illegal activities to provide for their families. Due to this, gang-related violence has become rampant in the community. Garden Heights is home to many people who are restricted by their economic positions. In this way, many of Starr’s neighbours from Garden Heights are victims of circumstance, and end up falling prey to the vicious cycle describe by Starr’s father, Maverick. Maverick comments that society oppresses black people by forcing ‘thug life’ upon black communities. Maverick’s view is that only by speaking out can this corrupt system be combatted and the cycle be broken.

Khalil is no exception to this cycle. While it becomes apparent that Khalil was involved with a notorious gang called the King Lords during his lifetime, it is revealed that Khalil was never a true member of the gang, but was rather forced to sell drugs on their behalf after his mother was caught stealing from the gang’s leader. In this way, Khalil was not presented with an opportunity to make his own choices about the direction of his life in this situation. Furthermore, it can be assumed that Khalil’s mother stole in order to provide for her son and family, making her crime one that was committed out of necessity. 

As unfair as the circumstances presented to him may be, Khalil’s involvement with King Lords presents the opportunity for victim blaming to occur when he is murdered by police officer One Fifteen during a traffic stop. Khalil acted on behalf of the gang because he had no other option. Yet, his gang affiliation has the potential to be used against him. The police immediately attempt to get Starr to reveal incriminating information about Khalil’s character when interviewing her about his death. This is evidence of the police attempting to profile Khalil as a troubled individual in order to distract from the police officer who shot him from being in the wrong. The police are trying to use Khalil’s past as justification for his death. Sadly, this is not far off from what occurs in real life, as the media often delibriatly paints black victims of police violence in negative ways. In this way, Khalil’s unjust and untimely death has the potential of being blamed on his ties with gang activity, no matter how superficial his actions were. In reality, the King Lords had no influence over the police officer who shot Khalil. Instead, the motive of that crime can be chalked up to racial prejudice. Similar to selling drugs, being black was not something that Khalil had control over. Yet, it directly impacted his fate once his life was placed in the hands of officer One Fifteen.

Khalil’s death shares similarities with another death that occurs earlier in the novel. Starr’s friend Natasha, who also hailed from Garden Heights, was killed after being caught in the crossfires of a gang gun fight. Her death was also a result of circumstance; her simply being a resident of the neighbourhood was enough to put her life in danger, as her death was a result of her location. Khalil and Natasha are foils for Starr’s white friends from Williamson Prep; during the aftermath of Khalil’s murder, Starr finds it hard to relate to her friends at school, as she is able to see the ways which her life differs from theirs due to her race, as well as her love and responsibility for her community. When she begins to fight on behalf of Khalil, it becomes apparent that her white friends are unable to relate to her plight, as they have never experienced a loss due to prejudiced police violence, nor are their lives ever at risk due to the colour of their skin.

In many ways, Angie Thomas’ use of contrasting elements within her novel The Hate You Give provide an efficient way for readers to identify the disparities between black and white characters in the book. While Starr is mourning the loss of a friend, she also takes her fathers advice and becomes an outspoken advocate for Khalil, as well as for the black community. Starr’s struggles with her identity as a black woman is heightened by Thomas’ inclusion of foils, as seen through the contrast between her role within the communities of Garden Heights and Williamson Prep, as well as between the characters that inhabit these environments. Overall, Thomas is able to draw attention to the stark contrast between the treatment of black and white Americans within a society that has been built upon a foundation of systemic racism and binary opposition through her writing.