mjhipster-blog

[mjhipster-blog]

We look up at the same stars and see such different things

imagination

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You do realize the love i have for you is more then any else

Josh<3

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You will never know a love like the father's love. He is saying come on baby girl I'm here💕

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Try bleeding out of your penis for a day

So my mom lost her wallet in Walmart earlier, but found like $20 cash in her pocket to get stuff from Walmart. I’m currently on my period, so I needed pads. We were trying to decide what to take out to be able to get the stuff that’s really necessary. My little brother grabs the pads out of the buggy and says

“she doesn’t need these”

and I practically screamed “try bleeding out of your penis for a day and see how well that goes”

and he just looked at me with wide eyes and a red face and didn’t say anything else and my mom just laughed

(she found her wallet by the way)

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There’s A Tick On My Nutsack!

so my sister and i decided that we wanted some macarooni, and we figured that since our mom and brother were alseep our dad would be too. well we walked in the kitchen and our dad had the lights off and had his phone in his had and his pants DOWN. he yelled “oh shit” when he saw us and then tried to pull his pants up and then quickly walked out of the kitchen, only i noticed a small bulge in his pants. (omfg…this is so akward to write). anyway, maddie asked him what he was doing and he said watching a video before walking away. well me and maddie started saying that he was fapping and jacking off and that we were going to ask him why he was. when he walked back in the kitchen maddie whispered in his ear “jacking off”, and me and her started laughing. he walked out without saying anything before he came back in and said,”if you must know there was a tick on my nutsack and i was trying to pull it off but you guys came in and gave me a heart attack. and the video was of breathing for babies because your brother’s been breathing weird lately.” I DON’T THINK WORDS CAN EXPRESS HOW PLEASED I AM THAT WE WERE CRAVING MACAROONI 

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Me:*walks into kitchen*

Kennedy: *follows behind*

Dad: "Oh shit. Ummm. Hey"

Me:*lmao* " mum..hi😂"

Dad: " I was just watching a video" *walks outside*

Kennedy:"was her jaking off"

Me:"I don't know" *still laughing my ass off*

Dad: *walks back inside* "if you really want to know what I was doing I was pulling a tick off my nut sack!"

Kennedy and I: *LMAO*

Kennedy:"why I'm the kitchen tho!😂"

Dad:"I DONT KNOW IT WAS JUST THERE!"

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GOTTA GET GOTTA GET GOTTA GET OUUUUTTTT

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Casually

Lexi: You could honestly put casually in front of anything and make it funny

Me:

Lexi: Casually gets sunburnt, Casually chews ice cream, Casually kills with air, Casually kills with knife, Casually kidnaps 5sos.

Me: Um...

*Lexi's conversation with a cop*

Cop: I'm here to arrest you because you kidnapped a whole band

Lexi: No its okay because I did it casually.

Cop:

Lexi:

Cop:

Lexi:

Cop: oh ok *leaves*

Me: THIS IS WHY WE'RE FRIENDS😂

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Maddie: Just give me 5 secs...

Kennedy and Lexi: Of summer

Maddie: Oh Gosh I should of said 6...

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Don't judge a book by its cover. You never know whats inside

unknown