I have a Sailing license so the proper honorific is Captain
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
a really interesting thing i’ve learned dating someone from Pennsylvania is that they’re so proud that they killed that hitchhiking robot. it’s seriously like walking on the moon to them. you bring it up to anyone from PA and they smile warmly and nod and go “yep, yep, we did kill him and we would do it again”
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it
234K notes
·
View notes
Text
my breaking bad headcanon is that one time pre-series hank was like. Haha i don't know about this 'global warming' thing, seems pretty damn cold out to me! and walt through gritted teeth was like. Well actually hank if you look at the science involved you'd see that scientists agree that temperatures have been rising steadily over the past century to an unprecedented degree that is clearly the result of human interference. and hank was like. Well if you say so haha what do i know we got mr. chemistry over here! and walt was like. It's not me who's saying it hank the science speaks for itself which you would know if you read the reports involved. and marie was like. Well now hold on i think hank has a point i mean who exactly are these scientists to talk scientists get things wrong all the time. and skyler was like. And what qualifies you to talk about climate change marie. and marie was like. Well nothing i just think we should be open to different ideas you shouldn't be so narrow-minded skyler. and skyler was like. Thank you so much marie i'll try to keep that in mind you're just full of useful advice aren't you. and hank was like Woah woah calm down ladies it was just an innocent question. and walt was like Climate change denial is not innocent hank it is actively killing the very planet we're living on. and marie was like. Well we just have a different opinion. and walt was like. It's not an opinion it's a matter of scientific fact. and hank was like Hey man it's okay I believe you this stuff's above my paygrade anyway. and marie was like. Hank you shouldn't just give in you should be allowed to express your opinion. and walt was like. Well as i said it's not really a matter of opinion. and marie was like. No walt i think it is a matter of opinion actually. and skyler was like. Well marie my opinion is that you should shut the fuck up. and then they didn't talk to each other for a month
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
It's so over (got stranded on Mars) we're so back (I can grow food here) it's so over (we left a guy on Mars) we're so back (we've established communication) it's so over (the airlock exploded and the crops froze) we're so back (we've cut down the launch window for a resupply) it's so over (the probe exploded) we're so back (the space program in China has been working on their own probe that can launch in the correct window to get him supplies) it's so over (we didn't tell the hermes crew about a separate possible mission) we're so back (the hermes crew committed mutiny and are now on the way to save Watney) it's so over (we have to remove the front of his spacecraft to get him into space) we're so back (we can cover the hole with a tarp) it's so over (the tarp ripped off during launch and the distance between the hermes and the mav is too wide) we're so back (we can use remaining thruster fuel to course correct) it's so over (if we do this we'll be going too fast) we're so back (we can build a bomb and blow up part of the station to slow us down) it's so over (there's still too much distance between the Hermes and Watney) we're so back (he poked a hole in his suit and flew to us like iron man)
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
happy smallpox eradication day to all who celebrate, which is everyone!
36K notes
·
View notes
Text
Before and after yep hes mustard gravy


Didnt smell good so i poured it down the drain without take a bite
86K notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes you'll see a bird for the first time and when you look it up you learn that its name is the Common Dirt Bitch and its range is Everywhere and there are 400 million of them in your state alone
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
"I still can't get my kids back; with all the money and fame I still don't get to see my children" might be the funniest lyrics of all time lmao
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
Feet on the ground, head in the sky, I know nothings wrong.
376 notes
·
View notes
Text
the us navy has graciously given the fishies another $60 million dollar fighter jet lmao
7K notes
·
View notes
Text

if not friend why friend sha—

never mind

27K notes
·
View notes
Text
They should block chatgpt on uni WiFi the way they used to block coolmathgames
53K notes
·
View notes
Text
Who the fuck are Garak's contacts. Who is receiving messages like "hello, it is me the annoying exile who must suffer for the rest of his days. YOU OWE ME."
803 notes
·
View notes