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[mmjungmi-blog]

[mmjungmi-blog]

jaehyun ‌:

hm. i kind of feel like jacking off right now. the thought makes him chuckle, almost impishly. he lets out a resounding yawn, leans back into his chair, and stretches. lazily, he stares up at the ceiling of his apartment: jaehyun has been taking notes from The Laws of Wizarding Society by William Peckner since… 5PM now? and what is it now — 9:30?

given, reading lawyer jargon about the Decree of Justifiable Confiscation or the Werewolf Code of Conduct isn’t very hot material. but it isn’t so hard to think of something else. yeah, like, what about that hot girl in his ISWS class? her jugs are so—

☎ [ incoming call ] ↪ [ jungmi noona 👵🏻✨ ]

hey, what’s— ( he’s cut off by her rapid-fire voice, weary brain taking care to process her words correctly. indeed, it takes him a couple of seconds; when she finishes, there’s a long pause on his side of the phone. merlin, why does it always have to be me? ) …w-what the hell noona? where are you? are you safe? what’d you do this time?

despite his professed exasperation, jaehyun is already standing up, gathering his things. slipping on his windbreaker, searching for his keys. he’s glad that she called him. when push comes to shove, he’ll drop what he’s doing for jungmi (but he’d never admit that he admires her so much).

his voice. he answered ! she rushes out a smile that’s equally thankful, nervous and ashamed ( that he can’t even see ) the festering silence didn’t even bother her because he answered and she doesn’t remember the last time she had someone she could so keenly rely on that wasn’t choa ( and choa was gone right now ) his tone and the words are water over oil, she’s used to that particular question. her eyelashes fluttering in a gentle sigh over her cheekbones. 

maaaaabye what if i’m at the police station ? would you totally kill me if i was at the police station ? ( sigh ) i was trying to get into a met. i had a ticket but they thought it was forged. ha...isn’t that funny ? ( the laugh is a little too nervous but she’s not trying hard to sell herself, instead her voice becomes a gentle whine ) i’m fine by the way i just, maybe i’ll owe you everything forever if you save me?

they said i can go home if someone gets me, if not i have to sleep in the cell again. ( it would be dishonest if she said she didn’t just want it to be him, specifically, the only friend she knew that wouldn’t make her embarrassed or uncomfortable ) i’ll owe you, seriously. anything!

[mmjungmi-blog]

shifting from foot to foot, it isn’t just a matter of pride any longer, this was stakes. this was everything she had ever bid on her future ( for everyone who told her that a kwak had no business in her field, for every failed or rejected paper, when her mother told her it was a mistake to pursue this career because it would be a dead end, dropping quidditch to follow this ) everything was in this. it wasn’t pride, being a reporter was her identity, it was her dream and all she had sacrificed for. if one more point goes onto her record, it could be the end of this. she could lose her chance at this dream. she shifts with more urgency, gnaws gently on her bottom lip as the phone rings. a glance around and the the walls are stringently clean, the white light above starching the area and making it look severe, too bright in the night like it is. she doesn’t turn around to look at the bull pit where she knows the officers are seated in their cubicles. she hangs her head and her bangs dust in front of her eyes. there were a few calls she could make. there’s contacts she knows, some people she relies on ( in both good and negative respects ) but only one face comes to mind right now. the warm space in her heart for fond memories with him, a respect she holds for him that tells her he won’t let her down. she chooses to believe in it. she has to.

☎ → ( 9:39pm ) [ 구조재 ⚖️ ] //      …      @mmjaehyun .

ring     ring     ring  ! hey! hey hey jaehyun-ah~ you busy? noona could definitely use your help   ( small laugh )   i’ll definitely pay you back to help me out? noona will cook you food! i’ll do anything honestly, just uh, ya know, come save me, please? pleasepleasepleaseplease !   ( she’s rubbing that aegyo on a little thick, it sounds cheesy now, but that’s the point isn’t it~ )

[mmjungmi-blog]

yun‌:

           a part of yun wants to shake her and scream ‘of course! of course i remember! i cherish every single moment we’ve had together!’ but that’s not right. a glimmering clarity in yun’s memory places him back in that night, back in his own shoes. the yun then was confused, hesitant. untrusting but willing to play along because he remembers jungmi from his youth. she was always kind to him, always the pretty noona. back then he allows her to play around with him and walks away from the moment curious and a little flustered. the yun in his mind and the yun now don’t align. it feels like his eyes are crossing, painting an overlapping copies of an image when it should be one, solid form. but yun doesn’t care. what does it matter if he didn’t realized the importance of that reunion in the moment? he can see now how special it had been, what it has lead to. the memory is still there in sparkling clarity, because it laid the foundation for where they are now. how yun is just in her periphery, there only when her gaze latches on him. an unimportant decoration. something she can pull into her orbit and set adrift depending on her need. even now her pretty lip is tucked between her teeth, and there’s so much passion burning in her eyes but its far,  far away. she lets him hold her hand, listens to his words, but it’s jungmi who gets the final say. her intentions, her motivations. and yun won’t have it any other way. he’s happy to be a fleeting fancy, if only just once she turned those eyes on him. even if its the refraction of the emotions for him shining on yun, it’ll be enough. and oh god! now her face meets his. there’s a perfect strand of hair moulded to her mouth and he instantly reaches out to it. he frees it from her lipstick and returns it carefully behind her ear. yun’s fingers are so slow as he tucks it into place, a shiver running down his spine at the delicateness of the soft shell of her ear. his entire body feels like a live wire, and she’s a conductor. he wants to pour everything into her. 

            it happens in a moment. her legs part, yun is pulled forward, and suddenly they’re too close too close too close! his hands shoot out to the table and his hands grip desperately at the wood. a loud gasp hitches from his lungs, and his eyes are blown wide. does she want this? is she agreeing? it’s too intense from this close and his brain is misfiring, unable to do anything but drink it all in. it’s her words that snap him out of it. hot jealousy curls in his gut. it’s all about him, him, him. yun is right in front of her, accepted into her embrace, with her gaze fixed on only him. but even then, she’s not seeing yun. he wants to whine, kick up a fuss, tell jungmi “yes, we can make him jealous, but can’t you at least say my name? can’t you see me? won’t you tell me i’m good for you? because i love you, can’t you see?” but he swallows it all, because this is about her, for her. he can’t let his own selfish desires ruin it now.

            the final blow. can he help noona? that’s all he wants. he could drop to his knees and kiss her feet and thank her for the opportunity to help her. he nods, so fast his head hurts. he melts under her touch, lets her hold him. “i can noona, i will,” he promises. she needs yun for this, it’s a job only yun can do. she knows that, she’s told him, and it makes him glow with pride. yes this is for him, but she trusts yun for such an important task. it’s everything he could ask for. yun fits one hand at her waist (why does his hand feel like it was perfectly built for the shape?) and the other cradles her jaw. he tilts her face back and looks at her, at her lovely eyes and flushed face and panting lips. a hunger roars to life in his chest, all consuming and vicious. yun bends forward and presses his lips to hers. it’s all too heated and desperate and too much but it feels like he’s high, her thighs around his hips and her hands on him and her mouth so plump against his own. yun can’t help the whimper that he lets out, his body leaning closer. perfect, this is perfect, how could he ever live another moment outside of this?

and it’s odd because it’s just physical touch, she can feel it, him. but it’s stimulation without the emotion she had come to expect. her head is vacant from any thought that isn’t fuck you daeil. yet, parts of her respond, her arms tug him closer against her chest, tuck him in warm and hot against her ( is it enough ? ) his promises still linger on her skin where his breath had hit, yun’s words still sticking to her forethought, just next to all the ones she wishes she could banish about daeil ( that’s a lie, she loves him, she’s sure of it ) something in her aches, unfair, unkindly reminding her that she knows, she’s fucking fully aware, of what it really feels like. what loving him feels like. did she ever stop? ( in some ways ) is this what it was like before ? ( no.... ) she pulls out of his kiss just enough for the magnetic centimeter, not even that much ; breathing in his breath, all of that carbon dioxide makes her feel a bit drunk. ( he doesn’t taste like daeil did... ) it’s distracting how much he doesn’t taste like daeil. but it’s fine. it’s in the name of a distraction, it’s important ( if she doesn’t do this, how will she exact her revenge ? ) her tongue licks at yun’s lips slow and teasing, fingers winding into his hair, knees brushing along the fabric of his pants while she hikes her leg to draw him closer. so close now... ( when was the last time she was this close to someone ? when had someone touched her, kissed her ? ) she shudders into the kiss, physical response only, her thoughts so stuck on daeil, yet they don’t match up. it’s so patchwork. her feelings, her thoughts, something doesn’t add up. her mind screams daeil but her body knows. it feels different. her ex doesn’t feel like this.

what she feels is yun. it’s distinct, there’s a melody to the way he breaths that matches with her heartbeat even without her calling out to it. she widens the kiss, her body latching onto the notion that if she pretends, it can become what she wants. it can be like him right ? yun can fill that right ? he said he would do it, he could fill the spaces she needed him to. she pushes herself backward, dragging him with her arms, lips locked like a promise as she pushes further onto the table. there’s something desperate about it, her imagination is failing her, true, but she’s trying. ( this whole thing feels so new ) it’s freeing, in some strange way. equally as much as it drives her heart through her ribs. the way it’s so different from what she wants ( thinks she wants ) but still works. she breaks apart again, and when she speaks her lips move against his, words muffled gently by his mouth. “why?” she asks, eyes sealed shut. “why are you helping me?” she can’t help but ask, kisses him again, this one feels nearly too chaste. just one and then she gives him room to speak.

[mmjungmi-blog]

yun‌ :

            now that yun is here, here at her side, he gulps the love-laced oxygen into heaving lungs. the air rushes back into the room, the lights brightening into a halo, and he just drinks it all in. every sensory detail. of the curl in her hair, the unnameable scent of her perfume, the heat working it’s way under his skin and the colors oversaturated and bleeding into one another. it’s all a heady drug that rushes into his head and he’s awake, ever vigilant, focused on the deity in front of him. he follows her gaze like the north star, to where it’s pointed in the crowd and not at him. never at him, unless she needs something. but that’s okay, because he’s here when she does. who is it that has her attention so enraptured? are they the reason for the pain painted on her face like the color on her lips? if jungmi asks with that sweet voice of hers to act as her swift revenge, he shall. like persephone’s hellhound he’ll turn and sink his teeth into whoever twists her heart so. all she has to do is ask, she must know. she must, because she squeezes his hand and it sets off every muscle in his body to tense. ready to flee, ready to fight, ready to take her in his arms if she asks. and then she speaks, and yun listens. he stays silent and waits for her to voice her thoughts, through the start and stop. there’s so much conflict in her words, of yearning and pain. he hears the word ‘regret’ painted vividly in the air between them. it’s the magic word, the one that tells yun there is a culprit and there is justice to be had. it’s the only way to put a smile back on her face. 

            it’s an opening, and invitation for yun to offer himself to her. she’s hurt, she doesn’t know what to do, but there is someone who must pay. so yun steels himself for war. however it should manifest. “it’s going to be okay,” he promises. isn’t that how all the greatest love stories go? there’s pain along the way, heartbreaks. but it only makes the ending that much sweeter. you must work for your happily ever after, and this is yun’s trial. he cannot let jungmi down. “we can make them regret it,” he says. “whoever has made you think your love is not enough, we can prove them wrong.” he steps closer. “do you remember when we first met again, noona? when you were hiding from the guards? i helped you then, and i’ll help you now. but it’s not a just a distraction this time, is it?” yun’s heart is hammering in his chest. selfish, selfish, selfish, his brain chants. are you offering for her, or yourself? do you just want an excuse to taste her lips? but no, he tells himself. no it can’t be selfish. it’s the only way to gift her the revenge she seeks; and to show her a love that is unconditional. “we can’t just pretend. you don’t want him to turn his eyes away, do you? i can do that for you, noona. if you want. we can make him hurt too.” 

the way she feels uncomfortable in her own skin, just a moment, out of context and order, it sends a chill down her spine. a need to look back across the room, to search for the eyes she knows won’t be looking at her. but they could be, right ? his words were so, so soft to hear, silk dusting over the skin of her cheek, thrumming inside of her chest more compelling than the music somehow ( it burns, rages within her ; a need to make him pay ) she looks away from yun ( not him ) her gaze pinpointing until it sticks across the room, a hateful glare ( him. ) steps enclose at her side and she flinches back ( it’s an inception closer than she feels ready for, for a person who doesn’t make her heart beat ) scans yun’s features, she feels empty, but there’s something reassuring about the way he’s so familiar, and the out he offers her on a silver platter. he had said so much that just blew right past her veil of awareness but suddenly his words are hitting like slanted rain that stings her skin, soaks her in investment. she angles her shoulders towards him, brows drag down and suddenly, he exists again. what yun can offer matters now. she’s hearing him. she smirks ( it’s colder than usual, there’s no warmth, no love in it ) “you still remember that night?” it’s almost amusing ( nothing is really funny right now ) propping back against the table, hip to rounded edge, ( there’s a spike of awareness that reminds her who she really wants is across the room and she nearly visibly fights herself to turn away ) her lip pulls in between her teeth, cages there at yun’s words ( ‘ you don’t want him to turn his eyes away, do you ?’ ) she shakes her head hard, a strand of her hair sticks to her lipstick. she wishes daeil were the one across from her right now. ( that’s a stupid thought and she almost doesn’t mean it ) (( but something fights inside of her that she does, does she fucking ever )) it’s all the right words to say. her eyes twitch into a squint at him, yun’s features always so gracious in her heart, even when she had ignored him, bypassed him intentionally on the behalf of jina. she recalls yun’s smiles. he’s not smiling. his voice isn’t so warm now... it’s fuel, thoughts of daeil, burning alive with every emotion he had never expressed for her before. thoughts that he would run over here to her. jungmi’s chest heaves, in-taking air hot and ragged with a need to make him pay. 

she wants to make him fucking suffer. jungmi aches with the urge to make him regret ever leaving her ; she loved him so much, she loved him so good. yet... it wasn’t enough. 

a gulp, legs spread just enough where she’s propped that when she lightly tugs their conjoined hands he can sink between them, wedge himself against her. her eyes blazing with a nebula of complex emotions. “i never want his eyes off of me...” she tells him, belatedly and she didn’t mean to say that. it just comes out. she tugs him harder, closer. “i want him to see...” her body feels hot...her heart hurts. everything is fuzzy, she pants gently. ( daeil doesn't even care about her, a part of her mind screams, fights, bitterly bleeds into her plans ) a louder part of her pouts, “can you help noona with that?” she slips her hand out of his, moves her palms up his biceps, over to his shoulders. 

[mmjungmi-blog]

mmyun‌:

EVENT I; PART I: THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL? ( ft. @mmjungmi. )

            the sound of the party filters out all at once, like the air had been sucked out of the room leaving yun in a vacuum. he can vaguely see jina’s mouth moving out of the corner of his eye, still close from where they’d just wandered in and huddled in the corner. she’s speaking, but yun can’t pay attention to a single word. because jina is not the kwak his attention is focused on right now. everything fuzzes away at the edges until it’s her front and center in his vision. her who looks ethereal in her suit and oh so sad that yun’s heart breaks. what is it about tonight that’s made his attention snap in to focus? is it the lights, the music, the smartness of her jacket that’s opened yun’s eyes? because kwak jungmi has never looked more beautiful, and yun has never felt a love like this in his life. it consumes him, drowns him, hooks right into his chest and tugs painfully in her direction. how could he have missed this before? even when she had crowded him against the wall and brought her lips so close to his own, all for the sake of an illusion? how had he walked away with only his heart thumping and his cheeks stained pink when now it feels like he’ll die if he doesn’t take her hand in his and tell her how stunning she looks? 

            it’s not a choice when he tilts his face towards jina, eyes not leaving her sister. it’s not a choice when he murmurs, “hold that thought, i’ll be right back” before stalking across the room. it’s a necessity, because jungmi looks so devastating and so heartbroken it’s like a tragic greek statue. she’s carved out of cool marble that yun is absolutely not allowed to brush his fingers against to trace the loveliness of her form. but yun is a fool, head swimming with adoration and love, love, love! so he comes to her side, so weak and so devoted. he places a hand on her shoulder, trying to let his unbridled affection seep through the touch and let her know that there’s no need for such melancholy in her beautiful eyes. he’d do anything to take it away, to build over it with joy. 

            “noona,” he says, and god is the sound desperate. he aches for her, to make her better, to stand by her side. can’t his love be enough? won’t she see? “noona, you look so sad. please, what can i do?” what can he do but take her hand in his (bold, too bold, when has yun ever dared to be so forward!) and hold it close. “jungmi noona, just tell me what to do. i’ll make it better. just please don’t look so sad, my heart is breaking.”

a dark cove on a lonely island, sea salt sticking to the skin, the crash of waves that erodes at the very heart of her ( kwak jungmi is drenched in it ; the coldness of a stretching ocean too far away to cross to the other side ) what would it be like to escape this reserve ? toes sink into sand, she can practically feel the ground swallowing her up and it chokes. what would it be like to feel a confident love, clutched desperately, joyously to your chest as you free fall ? instead, it seems fragile like a shell that’s fit crumble ( and that’s just the way it goes ; the fate of kwak jungmi, isn’t it ? ) a jaw-wired smile freezing on her face when the hand touches her shoulder and she knows it isn’t the right hand. linger look at the person standing across the room, eyelids flutter down ( eyes to ground, swallow gruffly, her throat is so dry ) rotating on axis slowly to look back. ( ‘noona’ ) her pupils dilate when she scans his features, it’s all just fine, familiar and there’s something that drips in sadness, and she doesn’t care ( it isn’t really what she wants to see ) it hurts to be this bitter. she can’t even speak so she just gives him a long look that tethers her like a string to the earthly plane because the pain of love ( what love means to kwak jungmi ) is a transcendent burden. ( 'noona, you look so sad. please, what can i do ?’ ) she shifts attention down at the contact at her hand, it feels like nothing. warm, it’s warm and dry, her fingers remain as limp as her expression, before her lips twist down into a strict frown. his words continue, he’s speaking more, following his meaning is like trying to catch bubbles with her bare hands ( every time it’s within grasp, the softest touch sends it popping out of existence )

not when it’s always been like this and how could he have known ? ( she didn’t even know ) “it’s fine.” she doesn’t mean that, her features turn hard, her fingers clutch onto his hold over hers as a reflex ( clutching a fist, teeth gritted again ) “they’re gonna regret it,” she exhales the words and it’s scary how much she means them. had she ever felt bitter obsession, a need to obtain or destroy the love of another person quite like this? ( certainly not ) absolutely so. it’s always been like this. the burning passion to have her affections returned ( no... it’s enough for her loved ones to be happy, isn’t it ? ) “i don’t know how to fix it,” she sneers, “but...” the sneer falls, fleeting like the blink of a firefly, a flash of golden in a sea of dark ( since when is hatred hope, since when is bitterness something she wants to cling to ? ) “why do they always....why isn’t my love ever...” she frowns, pouts. why is she still squeezing his hand ? “sorry.” ( “about your heart” ) the frown is back ( "i know how that feels" )

[mmjungmi-blog]

                              （             it’s   the   ＬＯＶＥ ＳＨＯＴ        ）

[mmjungmi-blog]

hi this is jungmi and she’s a shameless, spicy troublemaker TM. follow below the read more for more information (and some plot stuff) or back to her page for a more in depth about. my dm’s are a good place to go too, and i have a discord if you want that! btw i’m sky, i also write the old man and yes, i am reworking this intro because it was terrible before, maybe because i wrote it originally on like 2 seconds of sleep in 4 days. ANYWAY

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[mmjungmi-blog]

[mmjungmi-blog]

hanbin ‌:

hoping it wasn’t going to be another one of those nights, hanbin prayed that no one would come to his doorstep seeking asylum. he had a thesis to write, and he had barely enough braincells to formulate a sound argument without sounding like he just regurgitated the medical text he was citing from. setting down his laptop onto the low rise coffee table, hanbin pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. he was exhausted, and he wanted to do nothing more than sleep, but this paper wasn’t going to write itself. getting up from the floor, he closes the short distance between the living room and the kitchen to grab a glass of water. as he drinks to clear his clouded mind, three quick raps against his door draws his attention. he waits with bated breath for whoever it was to go away, but in the next moment they repeat the action, but this time more ardently. 

“fuck…” hanbin curses under his breath, rubbing the side of his face with a hand tiredly. setting his glass down, he makes his way towards the door, not bothering to peer into the peephole before swinging it open, a scathing remark on the tip of his tongue. before he could even utter it, the words die in the back of his throat when he realizes who had been waiting beyond the doorway. 

“oh…it’s you.”

her limbs were heavy through the air like treading water, thoughts a haze of chaos all centered in one direction; like a teacher asking everyone to yell out answers to a question with mixed results. because daeil is off limits, gunho, as if, daehyun would torture her more. and, if she were honest ( she’s too drunk to be anything less than honest ) she just wants to see him again. she walks the tight rope until losing balance and landing against the door with a slam. she knows this is where he still is. it’s so weird knowing that he hasn’t moved, but rather, they simply hadn’t spoken in so long ( time withers away the flowery memories of what their friendship used to be ) she craves a reconnection, especially when so many parts of her life had fallen apart recently. 

standing at the door and waiting with a pout, it takes him longer than she thought to answer ( or maybe she’s just slightly drunk and impatient ) wobbling when the door opens wide to reveal hanbin. the way the air stirs around when it the door swings sends his scent whooshing at her, fresh air that’s cool and distinctly hanbin and she breathes in and then fizzles out ( flustered but then he says “oh…it’s you” and everything in her dies a little ) she bites her lip and nods, smiles too. “it’s me.” her tone is off-puttingly bright, and only the slightest bit slurred. she hadn’t ever wanted to meet him again in this typical fashion. she wanted to prove that she was different than before, like in yosul when she showed up so often, drunk, out of options. that’s only half correct this time. drunk, yes but last resort? there’s other places she could go but she wants to go here. jungmi gives him a smiles, “can i come in?” she’s already wandering closer to him with her arms out. it had been so, so long since she’d last seen him. he didn’t look different, maybe more tired, more weary. her head is foggy and she stumbles, pivoting forward right towards him and what she meant to be a greeting hug becomes more of a collision. 

[mmjungmi-blog]

choa ·:

“you definitely know how to make someone feel special, that’s for sure,” and this is where choa shows the slightest bit of hesitation. it was practically universally known that she was deathly afraid of heights. she had barely passed the required class in her first year but she had managed somehow. ( it was the only bad mark on her otherwise pristine school record. she’s forever bitter about it ) reminding herself that tonight was all about jungmi, she steels her nerves and steps forward, eyes glaring daggers at the inanimate object between jungmi’s legs. riding a broom seemed so archaic and so stereotypical of witches and wizards. choa must have lingered longer on that thought when she’s pulled out of her inner turmoil by a gentle touch, one she immediately leans into once she realizes it was her friend’s subtle way of reassuring her. ( by gods she would do anything for this woman ) “lets eat until we’re so sick you can forget all about it then, deal ?”

mentally preparing herself, choa sweeps her hair onto one side, quickly braiding it and placing a sticking charm on the ends so it wouldn’t get in the way once they’re mid-flight. with one final inner peptalk, she takes the jungmi’s hand, carefully mounting the broom. now comfortable, choa leans forward, wrapping her arms securely around her friend’s waist, “alright prince charming, take me away.”

sometimes she questions, what’s in the name kwak ? what does it really mean ? if she disassembled what it meant to her ( countless years of bottling up all emotions but resentment, if she’s honest ) what did it mean? when she saw her brother sorted into baek ho, she had felt unbearable pride. when her sister looks about with fury in her pretty dark eyes, jungmi feels a sense of kindredness she thinks maybe, could only paramount because that’s the way kwaks are ( but all of those emotions require the essential acknowledgment that, they’re family, cursed the same as her to uphold the title ) only when it’s choa, specifically choa, does jungmi feel the burning heat. like a nebula of stars spinning madly in her minds eye because if the name kwak had never seemed pretty before ( not when it’s associated with such negative, terrible impressions ) so jungmi beams, yet a little more of her sadness shush to dull whisper in the face of choa’s tiny smile. “that’s a deal, my baby.” she grins in the roguish way as usual that might just be charming, if only to choa herself.

folding her right arm atop the ones around her waist her lips curve into a grin that can’t be seen when her only companion is behind her. “any time~ alright, hold on, princess,” she plays along, she pours her focus into the centrifugal force as they peel away from the ground, steady and silent. they barely begin their hover, high above the still dwindling students, tiny and getting smaller, and she speaks quietly, as if this moment on the broom is just for her and her best friend. as if not to startle her away. “close your eyes and we’ll be there in no time.” she flies off so that the night air sticks to their skin as they cut through it, humid and warm, somehow heavy like jungmi’s heart after her loss. “did you see me wipe out?” she asks and keeps careful measure on her voice for it to seem light and playful. “i hit the ground so hard i thought i was going to be taken to ymmc.” she chuckles even though the memory stings ( making a joke or a problem out of herself for as long as she can remember, what is more kwak jungmi than that ? ) “but then someone would have murdered me, so it’s a good thing i didn’t break anything.” she’s driving them forward with only one hand on the broom handle, the other softly overlapping choa’s own. she pats it softly, “hey, if you had to choose only one ice cream flavor to eat for the rest of your life what would it be. not to interrupt but this is the most important question i’ve ever asked.” choa’s safety, her fear of brooms, is never, ever lost on jungmi. she laces their fingers and holds choa’s arm tighter around her waist. they’ll be landing any minute, not going far but, anything must seem like so long when you’re afraid. jungmi understands that better than anyone ( the way time distorts around unpleasant things ) so she tries her best to keep choa’s mind present on her, and not what they’re doing.

[mmjungmi-blog]

kai ‌:

TICKET BOOTH / @mmjungmi

the world inside the arcade promised adventure, excitement and prizes ( an enviornment much different from yosul, kai realized all at once. ) multicolored lights flashed from every direction and part of kai wondered what he’d done to get here. the journey from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’ took many twists and turns that he wasn’t able to foresee, but perhaps the greatest surprise of all was who he was here with: jungmi.

truth be told, she intimidated him to no end. the way she held her head high and took nothing from no one was something he admired. kai had a sinking feeling that he would never be able to be anything like her, which was why he was keen on spending as much time with her as possible. maybe that attitude could rub off on him? he hoped. god, did he hope.  

still, they were the only two people in the entire establishment over the age of 20 and kai wanted to laugh. he didn’t, wondering what jungmi’s reaction would have been if he had. “did you want to play skee ball?” he asked, noticing the game in mention was completely available. “i bet i’ll kick your ass.” 

there’s a certain atmosphere that hangs heavy on the air, with floating, childish melodies and faint fog machines, blinking lights, beeps and chimes of machines and the crowd of overzealous attendees on this glorious weekend night. jungmi somewhat lives for this kind of thing ( she’d never admit it anyway ) but she’s here with some goal in mind. not that she told kai that. still, it’s fun, and while they began with such a rocky start she thought she’d be stepping on him by lunch, she walked away squinting and surprised. say what you will about him, he managed to talk his way out of getting a token beating from her, and that alone was commendable. everything afterwards had slowly become endearing ( she’s a stupid sap, she can’t help it ) her hands on her hips as she scanned the place, looking for something specific.

his words bring a machine into notice and jungmi throws kai a look up at him, a cross of a scowl and a playful grimace, “skee ball is for babies,” she strolls forward all the same, not looking for his following, “i see you’re trying to challenge me on a level playing field━ you’re on, pup~, you stand absolutely no chance,” she slips in the coins without a second thought. her competitive smirk dramatic in fashion as much as it is excitable. rolling up the balls and shrieking like a harpie every time she got it in. “hey kai,” ( she rolls hers up without paying explicit attention, takes a keen look at his side and claps in a sportsmanlike manner for him ) “let’s bet.”  she decides, “if i win, i need your explicit, underlying assistance for a top secret mission,” with a long, serious look, she sticks out her hand for a shake like it’s a business deal ( and maybe it is, because anything jungmi get’s up to, or into, is always a chance at being serious business ) (( but that’s part of the fun ))

[mmjungmi-blog]

mmjiyi‌:

mmjungmi‌:

       WON JIYI   you seem like such a good girl all of the time from far away.   i hope your days treat you kindly, jiyi.   i wouldn’t like it if you lost that smile.                                                                                                                                                  SUNBAE

she doesn’t mean to be excited, but she is anyway; she finds her first letter on the table, unassuming except for her name, smaller than most of the others she knows her friends have gotten but it’s okay, maybe the senior who’d picked her was especially busy.

she picks the card up and doesn’t even take the time to move to another table, just flips it open eagerly and reads through the short three lines. it’s short and sweet, and she beams when she reads the compliment, first year innocence seeing only the pretty lines and nothing in between.

      SUNBAE

thank you! i hope you have a wonderful week c: please tell me about yourself! i’m so excited about yosul, and everyone in jujak is really nice, so let’s be friends~ hope you like the snacks! let me know which ones you like best, i’ll get more next time c:

                                                        ♡, JIYI

it’s short, but she doesn’t know what else to write when the card she was given was shorter. so jiyi chooses to find some expensive, scent-spelled and elegantly embossed paper for her reply, and places a little goodie bag of assorted snacks all from the won factory as an additional gift, and hopes it’ll convey her well wishes a little better than her words.

she puts a pin in her smile as she lays on the floor watching tv with jina and junsu, a long lingering gaze as she reads through the words. unsure whether it was to be taken seriously, or if this was more of that ever so pretty possibility that, just like with jina, jiyi had her own intentions. it’s irrelevant. jungmi crumples the paper ( her wand pulled up from her side as she vanishes it away without a trace ) won jiyi had scalded jina’s feelings, and now she was acting like this? jungmi is frustrated beyond words ( but that’s okay because she can’t speak it of in front of junsu and jina regardless ) curls up in a ball like a snake as she plans her next letter rather than watching the drama flickering over the screen. her eyes cast to the treats on the floor near her bag which she had cast aside the moment she returned home. “hey junsu, jina,” she unfurls herself out of her pretzel, smiling in a way that does little to warm her face, the trouble on her mind shining through to her eyes. “want some?” she throws the bag up to them and rolls back over without partaking in the treats ( the clarity of mind to guess that jiyi is likely just being an innocent kid doesn’t change jungmi’s intent, unfortunately )

                                                                .     .      .

it takes more time than she planned to come to an immaculate enough follow up. she’s aware that her letter will be later than the other students may receive ( she doesn’t allow it to bother her that she’ll be keeping jiyi waiting ) writing it with a carefully neutral expression in her magical history class.

      WON JIYI ju jak is a nice house, isn’t it ?ususally, nice people end up here, but you should be careful, jiyi. even a nice house like ju jak has some snakes. trust me, sunbae is in ju jak too, but you won’t find me in the dorms. your snacks were put to good use. it was awfully thoughtful. are you always so thoughtful, jiyi ? next time, send kkokkalcorn !~ ♡. one day i’ll give you something special too, just wait for it ; ) have you made many other friends? a nice girl like you probably has so many, you can afford to go without a boring sunbae like me... but what can i say ? i still want to get to know the real you better even still : )                                                                                                                                                  SUNBAE

[mmjungmi-blog]

hyejin ‌:

“You weren’t interrupting. We were just having a few beers, nothing eventful,” he shrugs. Daeil hadn’t questioned him when Hyejin said he had to leave, he never did. If only he had kept him from leaving, if only had he not left him alone at the bar. Now look at this tragedy. 

“No, no. You can stay longer, I really don’t mind. Besides, you’re much nicer to be around than Daeil- he’s too much sometimes,” Hyejin smiles, eyes curling. Or too little. Daeil gives so little, make people hungry. 

He let his words hang in the air like dead electric wires and Hyejin places a hand on her back, patting her gently. It’s still early in the morning, the sun barely showing, hardly breaking the darkness in the room. But he can see it, how she’s trying to hold herself together with whatever thread that’s left. “You can cry if you’d like. Don’t hold it in,” he croons. “You can stay here and cry as much as you’d like,” he repeats. Please cry, and feel that sadness and resentment. Let it eat you alive.

it’s true that his words are a comforting storm, but the kind that looms over her, drenches her sensibilities. she realizes that it had been a long, long time since she’d been comforted properly. after choa left, with her siblings all being so much younger, with daeil gone, her and hanbin not speaking, none of her other friends close enough to shelter her pain. jungmi had never felt that she needed people ( it’s true, when you present yourself as so strong and capable, no one thinks you need anyone ) in some ways, she doesn’t ( but then she realizes, maybe just sometimes, she does ) she pulls her bottom lip in to keep it from puckering with sadness. “good. i never want to... bother him, or you.” the comment about daeil makes her bark out a watery laugh that’s half genuine, half desperately sad, “he doesn’t mean to be that way, i think.” she defends him without meaning to, against what her brain isn’t fully registering is an attempt to make her feel better ( she thinks ) ( kind of ) his hand on her spine is warm and distinctly heavy. a human touch when she’s on the verge of breaking down. it might as well have been a push off the ledge and his words are the inertia that drags her down. her chin dimples and, she recedes back into herself, tears a river fall of elite sadness the likes of which she generally suppressed, masterfully controlled.

how many years since kwak jungmi had cried ? she doesn’t remember. she didn’t even cry when she was a preteen, the betrayal of her father, the one man she thought would never hurt or harm them. the one parent she felt was safe. jidam was the cause of so much plight in her life ( such a source of resentment and pain ) and her father had been the reserve to catch her tears... her tongue pokes around anxiously against her teeth and cheeks, eyes shifting as she grows uncomfortable beneath the weight of wanting to break down and among it all, she can’t speak. her eyes turn back towards hyejin and she parts her lips to tell him thank you, but only a soft sigh comes out. tears escaping, the heat of them streaking down her cheeks nothing like the burn of embarrassment. “sorry,” she mutters but the word is choked at the foundation until it’s barely a rolling syllable. she lays her palm on his thigh near his knee, squeezes softly as her shoulders fight the tremor that bullies it’s way up her spine, jars through her ribs in a way that hurts her heart. her head swims with twice the haze, drunk and sad, a combination fit for a breakdown. she should have known, but nothing inside of her is working, like seeing through fog without the light house on, there’s no amount of clarity enough to cut through it. “daeil is━ ” she hiccups as she breathes in, the shudder of her chest all the way up into her words, “-home? he really doesn’t want to see me?” she thinks she might call him. or anyone. she wants to go home, she doesn’t want to cry in front of hyejin. the first human being she had cried in front of since she was a little girl who fell out of a tree in the park. it defies the logic of her feeling when she drops the crown of her head into the crook of his shoulder and while she can already feel the tears drying up ( likely from will power alone ) her body still wracks with the contained emotion.

[mmjungmi-blog]

🔎 search contacts _ @mmjunsu​​ .        /          accepting.

angry text.         … loading setting _ current day .

✉  ( 9:59pm )  → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] idc i’m not going lol ✉ ( 10:02pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] i don’t care what jidam wants ✉ ( 10:03pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] and if jina doesn’t want to go don’t bother her about it either ✉ ( 10:03pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] i get what you’re trying to do junsu but... ✉ ( 10:04pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] we can make our own choices

morning text.           … loading setting _ current day.

✉ ( 9:18am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] morning! i bet you’re in class now huh ✉ ( 9:20am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] have a great day today                                                         .      .     . ✉ ( 10:22am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] sorry for being a jerk last night....

long-winded confession voice mail.           … loading setting _ current day .

☎ → ( 2:38am ) [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] //      …   beep ! “ hey애기, sorry to call so late.누나 feels sick tonight, and your sisters are asleep, too. you know, when you were a baby, sometimes when i felt sick or couldn’t sleep, i crashed with you or jina. but it was funnest to crash with you. reading to you was fun and, you know i had to make up for blaming everything on you. you never seemed to get mad. thank you for being a good brother even when i wasn’t good to you in return. at least... not in front of jidam. sorry for not being very fair. or good. i should get out of the habit of leaving stupid voicemails that make me look bad just because i’m sick or drunk, huh?누나 is very lame sometimes i guess. sleep well. i’ll see you this weekend and buy you some kimchi mandu~ g’night.”

worried text.           … loading setting _ current day.

✉ ( 5:23pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] hey where’d you go? ✉ ( 5:24pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] you don’t usually disappear like this at these stupid things asdfg that’s kinda me and jina’s thing ✉ ( 5:25pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] did you not feel well? ✉ ( 5:25pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] if you’re still here come find me?

sassy text.           … loading setting _ current day .

✉ ( 6:45pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] oh nooooooow u want 누나 to vote... ✉ ( 6:45am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] 😔 i thought u guys said i was bad luck 😢 ✉ ( 6:48am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] okokok i’ll vote too ✊ 🏁  손동표 화이팅

drunk text.          … loading setting _ current day .

✉ ( 3:01am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] rmmber when midamn was stilll on pdx???? ✉ ( 3:09am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] why do mymine always go home so early ✉ ( 3:15am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] why am i cursde 😭😭😭😭😭

vague text.           … loading setting _ current day .

✉ ( 8:45pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] i kno i kno but don’t tell jina...i’m begging u

text not meant for you.           … loading setting _ current day .

✉ ( 1:48am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] why are you always doing these things? ✉ ( 1:49am ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] what about me? how about how they make me feel? don’t my feelings matter to you at all?

desperate text.           … loading setting _ current day .

✉ ( 8:57pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] oh my god ✉ ( 8:58pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] drop some hints to jidam that if she hears anything bad abt me it’s wrong pls. pls pls pls pls pls??? ✉ ( 8:59pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] not saying i could get kicked out of the house but... ✉ ( 9:02pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] just this once save me and lie to her, i’m begging

texts that never sent.        … loading setting _ current day .

✉ ( 7:46pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ]  you know how i’m always saying these thin- ✉ ( 7:49pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] i’m sorry i always dismiss ✉ ( 8:01pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] jidam just makes me feel like shit and i ✉ ( 8:05pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] you deserve everything i’m sorry.... ✉ ( 8:10pm ) → [ 애기 왕자🦆👼 ] dongpyo votes secured, mission complete captain. onto mission 2, cookies get. en route. i’ll keep u posted.

[mmjungmi-blog]

✨ ＷＩＺＴＡＧＲＡＭ       @jungmi2

there’s a lot going on and from the outside it just looks chaotic ; from pictures that under a microscope might be considered bullying teasing her siblings ( ie. recently posting the not just B but C roll pictures taken without permission, like of her brother and sister crying when their favorite was voted off of pdx ), food, travel, friends. it is the most candid, closest thing you’ll ever see to jungmi’s heart being on her sleeve. usually not very aesthetic unless all of the stars align. but she considers it a piece of her heart, and treasures every picture there, every memory with every friend and sibling.

pictured: @mmjihye, @mmjunsu, @mmjina, @mmchoa​ .

[mmjungmi-blog]

🔎 . . . ·（ sms ）· › 대일씨 .  @mmdaeil . 

12:23pm「 대일씨 」 daeil answer me please i just...i really do just want to talk. i need some closure, i just want this all to be over. 12:35pm「 대일씨 」 please? 1:15pm  「 대일씨 」 look, i know we’ve been through a lot of bullshit, i’m sorry for that but...i won’t ask for much else just, meet me ? 1:20pm  「 대일씨 」 ✻✻✻✻ ? out back, on the bridge by the water? i’ll be out there working on some shit, if you show up, good. if not... 1:20pm  「 대일씨 」 sorry to bother you.

keys clack and when she thinks about what she did, her heart speeds along to the beat of them. her lips tugged in between her teeth in apprehension ( even as her fingers don’t quite cease their rigorously set pace over the shiny keys of her laptop ) thoughts spinning out of control like a bottle thrown out a window to skid, disregard and decompose ; texting daeil that she needs to talk, that she wants it to be over. why had she done it ? ( is it really, finally time ? ) all these years of holding on, until knuckles were raw from the burden of it. like a flower out of season, withering slowly, stubbornly hanging on until temperature or conditions wipes it out. when did she stop being able to weather the storm? hadn’t she always thought it was easy ( not easy but manageable, important, worth it ) to hang onto him? she told jidam, she told him, she told herself, most importantly ( she types a more furious speed like the pace of her productivity could override the worry ) but it isn’t that simple anymore. hyejin said it himself, he had even been there when she called ( it was the first call in so long ; the first that was answered in longer ) hyejin confirmed it:  ❜ he doesn’t want to talk to you  ❜. 

she fucking knew that already, it had been like that for so long. so long she gripped at the edges him, desperate to keep even the smallest bit, but she always knew he didn’t really want to keep in contact with her. but having it confirmed. ( and daeil wasn’t even the one who did it... ) (( since when did he ever tell her anything straight up ? why did she even think he ever would in the first place )) it’s all utter bullshit. hitching like a shitty motor going over bumpy tracks her fingers freeze over the keys and her eyes flutter shut. the sunshine burns red, white glittering spots behind her closed lids and the heat of the sun over her face is silently absorbs as she attempts ( extremely unsuccessfully ) to stop her thoughts. it’s fruitless to over analyse with daeil. and it’s foolish of her to sit here waiting on him, too. ( yet here she is ) it’s foolish because he might not even come. ( that’s as good of an answer as any ) jungmi reassures herself, swaddles herself with thoughts that even if he doesn’t answer her, that’s an answer in itself.

but she hopes he does show. even if he slams the door in her face, closes the past off into its own box of memories that she can’t hope to reach back into ; that’s okay too. but the misunderstandings ( countless things she hadn’t told him, things about him that she never learned, questions, admissions, feelings left unaired like a stale aura over every thought of him ) she couldn’t do it. he was the only person she’d ever really let in ( the only that wasn’t her family, or choa ) and the she knew he might not be forever. that, she can take. it’s the not knowing which is the burden. she blinks her eyes back open, pupils narrowing to readjust to the sun, licks her lips ( anxiously determined ) and goes back to typing up a report. if he doesn’t come. it’s fine. ( it has to be fine ) if he comes... at least she’ll have something. anything.