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Glass Twenty-Six
My dear sister and my love have been forever wiped from existence. So here I am, drinking until it is my weary soul’s turn to accept the Void. Here is a toast to permanent, irreversible death; may it finally stick this time.
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Glass Twenty-Five
There was a time where I hoped I could fix this. I was determined to take my love’s place in the Void when it was my turn to meet your Maker. I wanted to right my wrong and welcome the Void with open arms. Anything to return her to the world she loved so much. But here I am, living another life and telling stories. If all things are possible through our Maker, then God must hate me.
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Glass Twenty-Four
Do you want to know why I drink, Stranger? I have the memories of countless monsters and creatures, but the ones that torture me the most are hers. The only creature I loved, the human woman whose presence my heart craved, loved me back. She fucking loved me but she never told me in any of her lifetimes because she was certain I was incapable of loving her. Why did she believe this? She thought since she was a human, she could never keep me happy. God, I drowned in her memories. I felt her heart flutter when we locked eyes, her heart melt at my smile, her soul glow in my presence. In her memories, I felt the chance I never took. And in no world, no dimension, no life will I get another chance. She is gone.
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A Toast
So here is a toast, dear Readers, to all those who tear themselves apart to make the world a better place. May their effort not be in vain.
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Glass Twenty-Three
Don’t look at me like that, Stranger. I’m not here to kill you. I still live by Mariana’s lie. I only glean the worst of the worst, the monsters who have gone a step too far. Your mediocre life is far too tame to poison your soul beyond repair. Isn’t that why you drink? To forget how boring life is?
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Glass Twenty-Two
Tell me, Stranger, do you fear me? You should. The lie that Mariana fed me was that Shape-Stealers can only consume those whose evil surpasses fifty percent of their soul. The truth was so much less. I can consume any soul who has committed a single sin. One fucking mistake, and you can be forced into the Void. A terrifying reality, but it made sense at the time. When we were first created, our job was to watch over the Ancient Ones. Before that incident in Eden, you humans were perfect sinless creatures; we were never meant to hunt you. Yet here we are, twisted creatures living in a fucked-up world. Mariana lied to me in a futile effort to make me better than the rest of our kind who greedily consumed anything with power. I am different, yes, but I am definitely not better. I am glad she is not around to see that.
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A Wiser Being
The answer isn’t that simple. Even I can see that, and I am just a rambling drunk. But I am biased, for I adore the monster Altrae has become. She is a dear friend, one who deserved so much more than what life gave her. A woman who spent a century fighting to build a world where all sentient creatures were considered equal. A woman who struggled against each of her failures, giving everything to a people who did not care. She fought the class system, but still it was voted in. She fought slavery, but no one listened. No matter what she tried, she could not carve out the racism embedded in people’s minds. She watched as an ancient book meant to save people was used to shackle them to their hate and fear. A wiser being such as myself would have given up, but not Altrae. She persisted.
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Glass Twenty-One
Mariana tried to defend her actions, saying she had done it to save my life. She begged for my forgiveness, saying she couldn’t bear the idea of eternity without me. But her tears could not sedate my rage, and I consumed her as Proteus watched with a smile on his disgusting face. I mercilessly snuffed out her existence in all worlds, banishing her very being to the Void. I immediately regretted it, but there was nothing I could do to bring her back.
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Glass Twenty
Proteus gave me a choice: my life or hers. I loved her, but I hesitated. I fucking hesitated. Why? Because if she died, she would come back; but if I died, I would never see her again. That hesitation will haunt me for the rest of my cursed life. Before Proteus or I could react, Mariana took my beloved and did what I believed to be impossible; consumed her soul. A soul that was only twenty-seven percent dark, gone from existence forever.
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Which is Worse?
I underestimated Altrae when I first met her. I judged a small cloud before it grew into a storm. She is a woman who would tear apart the Earth and shred her soul to pieces if she felt it would make the world a better place. Her good intentions could easily cause her to commit atrocities. So, tell me, Reader, which is worse? A crime committed with the best intentions, or a good deed done for selfish reasons? Altrae committed murder in an effort to save millions, while her victim, Adeline, only did good to benefit herself. Tell me, did the right person die?
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Glass Nineteen
God, I was such an idiot. I didn’t even feel fear when I stared Proteus down. I was willing to lay down my life for her safety, but let’s be honest, Stranger, I got lazy. I believed, no, I knew that even if she lost her life, she would always come back. I was certain that even if I failed, my soul would somehow find its way back to her. But I was wrong.
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Glass Eighteen
To my surprise, Proteus didn’t challenge me. Instead we spent the wee hours of the morning drinking and trading stories. Our conversation died at sunrise, where boredom gave way to an evil gleam in his eyes. With a wave of his hand, there she was, the woman from the battlefield. She was different, a mess of curly blonde hair falling over her face. But her eyes were the same shade of brown they had been on the battlefield. Each eye color had its charm, but there was something special about brown eyes. No other color can convey that sticky warmth and fire that make brown eyes so enchanting. God, I loved her. I still do. No matter what she looked like or what kind of life she lived, she was beautiful, inside and out. Just one look gave away my vulnerability, and Proteus did not hesitate to take advantage of it.
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Why I Chose the Title 'Altrae's Gospel'
She spent her life trying to live up to her name; Altrae. It is that name that bound her to her fate, because she so stubbornly tried to fix every broken thing. That is why I chose that name for the title of my book, even though she will always be Shannon to me. Gospel, loosely translated, means “good news.” But I chose the word Gospel because it has grown to mean “truth.” Altrae’s Gospel is the truth from Altrae’s perspective.
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Glass Seventeen
Do you understand the weight of what I faced, Stranger? Do you understand what kind of monsters we were? Shape-Stealers do not just kill their victims, we consume their souls. Their very existence is wiped from the universe. There is no hope of Reincarnation for them, no Heaven, no Hell, just the Void. We are the exception to the rule that no one gets sent to the Void without a choice. It is a power we have all abused. For the small price of a soul’s memories, you can have all of the power and talents that soul once possessed. But we can only consume souls who have gone dark; where the good has fallen below fifty percent. Many powerful creatures lived peacefully beyond our grasp because of this law. But though I did not know it at the time, a lie hides in that law. You humans say the truth will set you free, but some truths were never meant to be spoken.
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Glass Sixteen
Proteus was the first Shape-Stealer. He was formed when the Earth was still covered in water, and he has been consuming the Shapes of creatures ever since. Of all the Shape-Stealers, he was the most powerful. He was also the most bored. I knew he was the Champion of their Game and I knew Mariana and I were outmatched. So, I poured him a drink and stalled the inevitable.
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Fickle Morals
What’s fun about Shannon is that she cannot be defined as either hero or villain. Her morals are fickle; she forgives Vir’ava for killing thousands yet has leveled an entire Demon army over the death of a single child. Over the course of a century she’s embraced the fact that if she really wanted to save lives, she had to indulge her monstrous behavior. She slaughtered Demons with one hand and signed treaties with the other. She did all of this for ignorant humanity. And still, they betrayed her.
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Glass Fifteen
Oh God, that day. I would sell my soul for a different ending to that day. They both died because of me. He found us, God why did he find us? No amount of alcohol can erase that day from my memory; and believe me Stranger, I have tried. It is a memory I am cursed to relive for the rest of my life. My fucking immortal life.
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