modern-magic

[modern-magic]

After many years of selective breeding, they've finally developed a breed of phoenix that, rather than self-immolating itself into ash, instead roasts itself to a perfect internal 165° F while burning off all the feathers, resulting in an instant, ready-to-eat poultry dinner.

[modern-magic]

Ladies want dragons and then complain when they bring their ancient cursed relics everywhere

(My OCs Drahan and Sylfri)

[modern-magic]

This shit isn't funny dog my centaur uncle lost his legs in the orc wars when stepped on four landmines at once

[modern-magic]

Imagine this..

Being the only human transfer to a monster high school. By some mix-up in paperwork.. It's also a little too late to switch now, as the semester started.

The Vampire Class President is the first monster you meet. He seems genuinely sorry for your situation and wants to make this as smooth as possible. He gets some teachers to excuse certain classes because.. well.. You're human. You can't exactly do what their asking.

The Werewolf Jock Pack ran into you by accident. They were all heading to the field for practice when one of them knocked you aside by complete accident. They are quick to fix their mistake. Once learning that you're the new human transfer, they offer to have you help them practice. The zombie they worked with kept losing his arm.. so your completely attached arm would help! You can throw the ball without fear of your arm flying off!

The Centaur Senior is in all your classes. She knows the halls get packed. Packed. It's almost impossible to navigate without a strong voice. You, a human, can't exactly shout loud enough to make any monsters move. She let's you ride on her horse back while you carry all the bags. She easily navigates the halls and gets the both of you to each class safely.

The Kitsune Foreign Student, and you seemed to have clicked. You both are struggling slightly to adjust to the new school with all these different monsters. It was nice to find a quieter monster to spend time learning the school's layout, having lunch, and studying for each class.

At the end of the day.. it's a relief to know you won't be suffering through the last school year alone. You might've already made a whole load of friends!

[modern-magic]

Never let some invisibly wrinkled centuries old bloodsucker give you shit for being new bitch on the block. They think they’re sooo mighty and powerful bc they’ve survived for sooo long when like 90% of that timeframe there weren’t any guns or cameras or borders so they could kill some random defenseless lady, fuck off 1 village east, and nobody would blink an eye. Now you pop around the block for a lazy bite to eat and 8 electric eyeballs bear witness to your target pulling iron and filling your gut with 9mm rounds before activating an international manhunt on your ass. Camarilla execs haven’t ever dealt with this shit personally. Some of these dusty motherfuckers predate widespread literacy and have never budged from their Embrace city and it damn well shows. I’d like to see one of London’s mutant ass 5th gen’s go without a kine proxy for a week in the modern day. They’ll guaranteed fumble the hunt after centuries of Doordashing their drinks and get inquisitors with phosphor rounds driving them out of their safe space. Can’t drive, no ID, no credit card, no records, not a fucking drop of patience for interacting with mortals, good fucking luck starting up in a new city much less getting to it. Call me an insolent whelp again bitch i’ll run you over with my car and selfie your broke and steamrolled ass to the groupchat #GoGrampa

[modern-magic]

ghost dog

[modern-magic]

Elvish language lessons

[modern-magic]

Diversity win! Ancestral curse recognises non-biological parenthood!

[modern-magic]

baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards

[modern-magic]

“Why are we seeing so many Evil Wizards these days?!” two reasons:

Most wizards used to die in horrible accidents during their apprenticeship, but since the so called ‘apprenticeship rights’ laws went into effect more wizards survive to go in to grad school, thus becoming evil

Evil Wizard has figured out cloning

[modern-magic]

What you want as your wizard familiar in cat form is a tiny scrappy tortoiseshell.

Does she follow your commands? If she wants to.

Does she notice danger? Yeah look at her she’s all poofed up. She HEARD something.

Will she cuddle your party members? Absolutely not.

Will she cuddle you? Maybe.

Will she fight a monster? She’s going for the eyes before you even notice it’s there. It’s actually a problem.

Will she let you complete your long rest? No.

Will she keep you company when you’re on watch? Always. Staring menacingly at the darkness is what she does best.

[modern-magic]

happy werewolf transgenderism wednesday

[modern-magic]

Here's a painting I made for the ImagineFX art challenge "Mystical Meets Machines".

The theme was too intriguing to pass by - especially after I got the idea of some unicorns grazing by the remnants of an ancient, mechanical dragon. Someone in the past were keen on acquiring the great powers of a dragon for themselves, leading to a bitter end. Now it has rested peacefully for centuries, becoming part of the landscape.

Lots of fun painting this one, especially all that moss!

Photoshop, April 2024. And as always, no AI used.

[modern-magic]

[modern-magic]

Vampire and werewolf dating

[modern-magic]

paranormal romance genre but it’s all pro-vampire propaganda because all the major publishing houses are in the pocket of Big Vampire

[modern-magic]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.