moderndayfossilfuel

[moderndayfossilfuel]

News report on Godzilla attack but they have to blur out his feet because of the freaks

[moderndayfossilfuel]

Victor Frankenstein syndrome aka you spent nights over nights crying and bleeding over this work and now that it's finally done you're just like "nvm. it's trash" and go to bed

[moderndayfossilfuel]

[moderndayfossilfuel]

This post is for ladies only. If you are a guy, GET out of here.

I bestow upon you this dagger. It is an ancient dagger. Use it wisely.

[moderndayfossilfuel]

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.

[moderndayfossilfuel]

spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.

[moderndayfossilfuel]

Coworker: nice day out huh?

Me, who watched a 2hr documentary about the Hindenburg disaster the night before and is desperately trying to share the information i learned: yeah, a real nice day, not at all like May 6, 1937 in Germany.

[moderndayfossilfuel]

love my pumpkin

scary my pumpkin

[moderndayfossilfuel]

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

[moderndayfossilfuel]

It's crazy how giant squids and sperm whales just have like giant kaiju battles down in the deepest depths everyday and it's real

[moderndayfossilfuel]

I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety

[moderndayfossilfuel]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[moderndayfossilfuel]

ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is 🅱👨‍❤‍💋‍👨

[moderndayfossilfuel]

Playing with her food

[moderndayfossilfuel]

Check out this Godzilla edit I did

[moderndayfossilfuel]

[moderndayfossilfuel]

Oh boy I can't wait to see what kind of posts are in my favorite character's tag! :D

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