moderndinosaur

[moderndinosaur]

Day 134: "Happy Easter from Sweden!" I had every intention of taking a really cutesy, frilly, cliche Easter photo with chicks and eggs... but lets face it, this group is a hot mess. I blame the silky feathers, which are perpetually messy and sometimes discolored in, ahem, places. So here it is, my cliche Easter photo. With no one paying attention, someone falling over and showing off their scraggly wing-pit, and far more ass than face. Happy Easter from the Swedish Bikini Team! 🇸🇪

[moderndinosaur]

Day 133: "The crevice tool" The snow may not have the good sense to melt off in a timely fashion, but the bugs know what's going on. There was a MOSQUITO on the side of the house this morning. Fear not, General Cornwallis got him. See him? That's the mosquito there in her dangerously sharp food hoovering tool. The warm side of the house (morning sun, no prevailing wind) is a haven for bugs trying to get a head start on the season. I'm so glad they feel that way, because I have a small army of bug eaters hell bent on complete genocide who also like the warm side of the house. Catch some sun, stay out of the wind, completely eradicate every living thing, maybe get a head start on the weeds and grass trimming while they're at it. Carry on, good birds.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 129: "Free-ranging on the Riviera"

This snow storm has been a strange new experience for us. Flowing river that isn't frozen over and feet of snow. It's an unusual feeling. It feels almost coastal here. The upside is, the wind that comes roaring down the river blew the snow off this patch of grass. There's a bumper stick in there somewhere... "Happiness is a patch of grass in winter"? "The grass is greener (on the other side of the snow)"? I'm a little shocked that they *risked* life and limb crossing the snow to get to this patch of heaven. It should also be noted that Velvet isn't anywhere near here. She stayed in the run (up on the driftwood), and voiced her panic over her friends venturing out. Cue the massive eye roll. 

[moderndinosaur]

Day 128: "Well this sucks" Not unlike that iconic scene in the movie Madagascar, where the penguins finally arrive in the arctic, the chickens are less than amused by this weather. The morning before the big snow, they were frolicking around the yard and digging up bugs in the leaves. It's been a downward spiral since then. They didn't come out at all yesterday. Today they came out, but everyone basically has these expressions; anger, disgust, betrayal. I even bought ceramic eggs to try to talk Velvet into going broody. Yes, you heard that right, I had to talk Velvet into going broody. Nothing. Not even a second glance at those eggs. If the broodiest of all broodies cannot be convinced to sit eggs, surely the end is nigh! This is as far out as I could coax them today.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 127: "Hello?" "Just your friendly neighborhood chickens here wanting to borrow a cup of snacks. Hello?" With the warmer weather and melting ice, the chickens are getting increasingly brazen with their stalking. There was a porch infiltration this morning when they saw me mixing their food. They do a pretty decent job of eradicating the porch bugs in the warmer months. Dove uses that logic when trespassing. Plausible deniability. "I wasn't trespassing. I was checking your bug situation." Uh huh.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 126: "black beauty"

Nightshade is the chicken equivalent of all of us who believe we're not photogenic. It's funny and ironic because I don't like having my picture taken, but love taking pictures of others and proving to them that they are quite photogenic after all. Nightshade is tricky to get a nice pic of. First, she's lower on the chicken totem pole of power. That means she's generally not at the head of the snack line and is perfectly happy standing behind everyone else until the crowd clears. Ahh, a hen after my own heart. I think I finally got her. A pic that really captures her spirit; engaged in snacks, watching, thinking, but quietly. There isn't an evil bone in this birds body. She might not be the beauty queen, but in all the important ways that matter that is exactly what she is. <3 #blackstar #nightshade #blackbeauty

[moderndinosaur]

Day 125: "Snow bunnies"

It used to be the Bertha/Cornwallis BFF show, but the Cornwallis is a fickle dictator, and went her own way. Now it's the Bertha/Scooter show. Interestingly, Bertha and Scooter are my only two birds that were introduced to the flock as singles. I prefer adding 2+ birds at a time because they are generally received more kindly. However, sometimes life has other plans. Bertha and Scooter are also the only two birds who don't seem to mind roaming around in the snow. They have been hanging out a lot together lately, so I guess those who snow together stay together. I'm just glad Scooter has a friend. <3

[moderndinosaur]

Day 124: "Chicken Cameo" There is a lot going on in these creepy little brains. It's unnerving sometimes. Some animals you can look at and just think to yourself "wow, there is a wind tunnel between your ears". I have rarely thought that of a chicken. Some are sneaky, and some are just plain smart. Some are crafty, clever, and some are loving or brilliant. Sometimes both, and sometimes in assorted combinations. Eventually, I would like to do a series of chicken cameos that capture their individual personalities. This is a good start.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 123: "Ma! There's a leaf on my foot" I took a pic this morning and hated it, so this is my redo. I love these. They're kind of weird and psychedelic. That purple stuff is the poo-covered chicken flap door. I think it picked up the blue from the snow outside, mixed with the red from the chicken light, and voila! Purple. Also, Scooter. She likes to be the last one up so no one bugs her. Tonight she had a leathery oak leaf on her toe. It's the chicken equivalent of putting a playing card in the spokes of your bike.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 122: "Fly like a dove" Dove is finally starting to look fluffy again! She molted pretty hard early winter and was indoors for a couple of weeks when that first cold snap hit. I also installed a flat panel heater in the back of the coop so she could press her naked, featherless body against it if she got really cold. She was one of the reasons I got the chicken cam. If she was too cold, I wanted to know. Turns out her fluffy buddies were sleeping on either side of her for warmth. Although, she did fly into the coop window at high seed again this past weekend. I'm not sure what's up with that. I love my Orpingtons, but WTF. Also, this was edited with new editing software that I'm trying. Not sure how I feel about it yet.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 121: "Chickens love brownies" Everything might eat chickens, but chickens also eat everything. No one ever talks about that. I've been following the celebrity turf war that seems to go back and forth between the chicken celebrities. Because, how can you not? It's like a train wreck. You can't look away. After the latest battle over the safety of chickens consuming oatmeal, I give you the following Chicken Truth: Chickens are supposed to be browsers. This basic concept gets lost when chickens have to be sequestered in pens to keep predators at bay. When they can't pick and choose what they eat, that's when things start to affect their health. The bottom line is, you really can feed chickens almost literally anything (including accidental insulation and staples). If it makes you feel better to feed your birds a little warm oatmeal in the morning, do it. Or don't. If you love sharing the occasional slice of the worst bleached white bread mankind has ever created to your chickens, do it. Or don't. If you dispose of a half pan of coconut pecan brownies so you won't eat them by feeding them to your birds, do it. Or eat them all yourself, I don't judge. And even if you forget to put away the extra sheets of insulation and miss a few staples that find their way into a hungry brahma crop, even that probably won't kill them. You know what will kill chickens? Basically everything with teeth or talons.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 120: "Snacks complete me"

It took a while, but Bertha has really come out of her shell. She is much easier to catch now, even though her top speed is only slightly slower than the speed of smell. She weighs in at around 25lbs. Seriously. She's not eating any more or less than anyone else, she's just a hefty old broad. She sprained her leg last fall scratching around in the yard (#oldladyproblems) and I thought for sure that was her death knell. After about 10 days of rehabbing herself and a little help getting up and down off the roosts, she sprang up and was fine. Chicken faith healing? Who knows for sure, but the sassy old hen is back at it. She and her snow buddy Scooter were the only two brave enough to walk through the snow so they could stare at me inside the house through the porch door. Chickens are creepy like that. It's always when I'm naked, or eating... or both. #stalkerchicken #judgmentalsideeye

[moderndinosaur]

Day 119: "Anatomy of a cock"

Roosters complete me. It's not a sexist thing. I love every single one of my hens. It's a brain thing. Roosters are just completely different, mentally, than hens. They're more velociraptor-like in their movements, and vocalizations. Even their expressions are dino-like. They're not built for plushness and eggs, they're built for protection. Even mating is second fiddle to the protection. Even a rooster that doesn't mate anymore will stay with his hens and make sure they go inside at night, and make sure they get first choice of all the tasty treats. A good rooster will even stand sentry and freeze to death if it means his hens are safe. Those are admirable characteristics for a chicken. 

[moderndinosaur]

Day 118: "Red light district"

I admit, it looks a little like Bertha is getting ready to slip into the back room at a strip club. You know, that stinky, kind of moist room with irritating red lights. Yeah, that room. But lets me honest, Bertha's just hogging the door to the light bulb room. 

[moderndinosaur]

Day 117: "Tall, dark, and hangry"

When Gabe slipped his boots on to go do chores this morning, his foot was greeted by a pile of cat food. On the porch. Which is enclosed. We have a porch mouse. A small, villainous creature that plagues the dreams of both the cat and the little dog. The mouse also apparently likes to stuff food in shoes that are not on the porch. Bertha discovered kibble frozen into the foot bed of Gabe's swimming shoes, which was undoubtedly placed there by the porch mouse. First the cat, then the little dog, and now the fat hen on the list of those tormented by the rodent menace. That mouse is leaving nothing but tears and disappointment in its wake. And also hunger and frustration.

[moderndinosaur]

Day 116: "Snowball formation"

There was no free range time today. There was no fun today. Thank you, Mother Nature. There was, however, a steaming hot breakfast (which Velvet is still wearing), and plenty of leisure time indoors out of the wind. Someone also unceremoniously dropped their egg in the middle of the coop floor and I almost stepped on it. Thanks for that. 

[moderndinosaur]

Day 115: "Rebel without a cluck"

Bertha is getting in touch with her inner punk. She led the charge as chickens of all ages sprinted down the side of the house and got caught on the opposite side of the dog yard fence. The old girl is a rebel for sure, and this hair says it all. Rock on, Bertha. 🤘