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moderngroupieanonymous · 2 years ago

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Backstage Blues

Confessions of a Modern Day Gr*upie: A Blurb

Description: This is a blurb, a non-chronological piece of my story that I think is relevant to share regarding what happens when you're scouted to go backstage to drink with the band and when to trust your gut when things go sour.

Warnings: Topics involving alcohol and sex will be mentioned. Definitely recommended for those 18+.

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I wasn't even planning to go to this show. But of course, it's those last minute decisions, those completely spontaneous tickets you buy at the door that end up leading to the most... interesting nights.

I had some friends from out of town visiting my city and they wanted to go to a show at a small venue down the street from me. Personally, I never say no to a show, so I agreed. It would be fun. What's hilarious about this show was that we actually went to see the opener, because we discovered them through a separate band we had seen quite a few times. In fact, I had never heard of the main band before. Last time I checked their instagram they had around 100k followers. We were seeing them for their North American tour.

Misconception about being invited backstage is you have to put hours into your appearance. This is fully false. This night actually I had so much going on that day that I barely had time to get ready at all. In 20 minutes I quickly ate a few bites of pad thai, touched up my makeup and added liner, and threw together an outfit consisting of an old black skirt, black flowing top, and knee high boots. My hair was fully just tossed into one of those messy buns (I'm cringing at this fanfic term bye) because I didn't have enough time to style it.

Getting to the venue that I arrived late to, I bought my ticket at the door and scanned the crowd to meet my friends who were already there for some time. I had been to the venue before, it was one of those old timey ones that have been around for years and years, which gave it a lot of character. Once inside, I began looking for my friends, taking in my surroundings while making my way through the small venue. While I counted the lingering stares from people as I walked by I immediately noted I was probably a little over dressed for the crowd/ fanbase (again, we were there to see the opener, so I had no clue what the crowd would be like for the main act). I didn't mind it though. I'm a firm believer in wearing whatever you feel good in. If you feel good, your energy is right, and your energy is what attracts others to you. It makes you magnetic.

Another misconception about being invited backstage is that you have to be front row. It's funny because my experiences have been quite the opposite. And once I tell you it makes a lot of sense. When a band is on stage they have no way of keeping track of you, they have other things to worry about, obviously. On their end, they don't have the opportunity to be the ones to invite you backstage. In a case like this, it's all up to you, aka being at the stage doors or waiting by the tour bus to catch the artists while they're not working (more of this type of story to come in my other writings). But no, this is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being scouted to go backstage. Completely different. And much more... spontaneous? Much less... effort? Much... different, to say the least.

So, no. I was not front row for this show. Once I finally met my friends we stayed in the wayyy back of the venue the duration of the show (after we pushed our way to a decent spot to see the opening band). We actually were by the merch table, close to the bar where we were able to get a few drinks. I was honestly vibing to the music and we all were dancing and just having a good time. It was nice to experience a show with low stress since we genuinely were experiencing this band the first time.

As the night went on, I became distracted by this man who kept brushing past me and running around throughout the venue, tending to the merch table behind us, etc. I honestly at first thought he was a roadie, but I'd soon find out later in the night that he was the band's manager, the main act. I tried not to be too concerned by him as we listened on to the show. He, however, also noticed me, probably from the amount of times he may or may not have purposely brushed by me in his mysterious haste.

"Here, put this on, we love free advertising," I hear a voice from behind me, the manager, offering me a beer sleeve with the band's logo on it for me to slip my White Claw into. I laugh and thank him, accepting the sleeve and putting my now almost-empty White Claw into. I didn't think much of it at the time, my friends and I laughed at it and continued on with enjoying the music. He probably had it lying around and noticed my group having a good time in the back and just handed it out. It was 5 bucks after all, I checked the merch stand.

Not 20 minutes later I get another feeling that his eyes were on me again. Out of the corner of my eye I see him approach me the second time and I'm curious to find out what he'll come up with next. More free merch?

"You finished your drink?" he shouts over his band's music, noting I'm no longer holding onto the logo decorated beer sleeve I had slipped into my bag after downing the rest of my seltzer. I laughed and told him I did.

"Want me to get you another drink?" He says to me. Is this guy hitting on me now? I push this thought away for the moment because, obviously I will never say no to a drink. The bar was right behind us anyways, so what's the harm?

"I'd love that," I reply.

"Great, come with me backstage we'll get you a shot. You can bring your friends," he instructs me as he already takes off towards the back of the venue, expecting me to follow. Why was this dude always in such a damn rush for fucks sake?

I barely had time to grab my friends, tell them what was going on over my shoulder, and drag them with me as we weave through the crowd following Manager Man towards the restricted areas. It had become official. We were going backstage. Like I said before, half the time you're scouted to go backstage, it happens when you least expect it. Let's review so far though, what I've learned:

Wear what you feel most confident in, because you'll feel your best.

Being front row for this specific situation does not matter.

Enjoy yourself and your energy will attract others around you.

Manager Man lead us through a series of restricted areas, moving security ropes, and breezing quickly by signs screaming AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY, until we finally made it to the green room where the sounds from the stage all became a dull muffle. Taking in my surroundings it was as I expected any green room would appear. Instrument cases were haphazardly stacked in the corner of the room, clothing garments strewn on the floor, and every inch of tabletop space of the vanities were covered in half-eaten sandwiches, cracker boxes, water bottles, and various handles of alcohol. Super glamorous.

He poured us each a shot of Jameson served in red solo cups which I happily accepted, letting the brown liquor warm me from the inside out. My friends were chatting over the opening band's performance as Manager Man pulled me aside.

"So, you have any plans after this?" he muses. I told him not as of now (since literally 3 hours ago I wasn't even going to this show in the first place).

"Well, you can come out with us after. Hang on the bus with the guys and drink with the band," he says to me before taking a sip of his beer and allowing me to mull over his offer. I knew exactly where this was going at this point. I guess managers are in charge of much more than bookings and merchandise... they're even in charge of recruiting women to entertain the band after the show. This was where my first yellow flag came up, because truthfully, I didn't even know this band existed a week ago. Prior to this, all times I've hung out with bands I had spoken to them before, or we had at least followed each other on social media.

But, at this point, Manager Man needed me more than I needed him. He wanted dive bar recommendations for us to all go to after, and, it being my city, I knew every place they could be interested in. So for now, I thought we'd entertain the idea. After we said we were down for the after show, Manager Man gathered up our passes to wear so security wouldn't harass us when we stayed after the show.

We chatted a bit more. He told me he liked my name. He told me I reminded him of someone he knew. He handed my friends and I our passes and as he walked us out he again said my name a few more times to himself like he liked the way it rolled off his tongue.

After being lead back to the crowd, before we knew it, the band had finished up their encore and the concert goers began to clear out. We watched the roadies scurry about the stage, packing up the equipment as we chatted amongst each other while the venue cleared out. Security took note of our passes and looked between us and Manager Man, silently putting the pieces together. As the crowd thinned, I took note of other girls lingering with passes as well. Damn, more recruits? Manager Man definitely was a busy man. I had to give him props.

It was only when we were ushered outside by Manager Man and corralled to stand by the tour bus parked outside the venue where I really started to see what was going on. We really were there for the band members to pick and choose to join them on the tour bus. Other fans without passes who had gathered outside the venue in hopes of seeing the band too were also taking notice. It was at this point my friends and I really were getting turned off by the entire thing. Manager Man kept coming up to me in between his runs back and forth between the venue and loading the bus to check in with me, asking if we needed anything, and making sure he knew the bar I recommended to him from earlier in the night. He sure did cover his bases this dude. And one by one, I watched each of the band members load onto the bus.

That's when I saw him. One of the guitarists from the band, who was chatting with two guy fans about their set next to the bus. He was hot. I honestly was staring a little longer than I should have, and right when I was about to look away was when he noticed. He locked eyes with me as the fans continued to chat to him, and he also didn't look away. I then watched as his eyes slowly scan the length of my body and was almost shocked by how bold he was with it. My friends even took notice at this interaction.

That's when another girl, bolder than me, went right up to him and within 5 minutes they both went onto the bus together to join the rest of the band. Could I have done the exact same thing and have gotten onto the bus, leaving the rest of my friends behind? Yes. Would it have been worth it? No. Because clearly in this case, it doesn't fucking matter to these guys. In the case of living up to a certain image of being surrounded by women as the expectation of men in successful bands, clearly these guys were... dare I say... desperate. I saw right through it. And I know my worth.

I knew where they were going on their tour bus. I was the one who told them which bar to go to. Could we have gone to the bar anyways and have met up with the guys then? Sure, if I really wanted to see things through with the guitarist. I think it's okay to go to certain lengths to get the things we want from this scene, but I also think it's more important to value ourselves as individuals and the morals we have. And this situation just felt ultimately gross to me at the end of the day. So, my friends and I ended up leaving. I wished Manager Man a wonderful night with his guys as they head of to the bar I sent them to, and we want our separate ways.

Oh, and the guitarist followed me on Instagram a week after the show.

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AN: Hellooooo babies! This was a longer one... Not quite how you expected it to end, right? Well, don't worry, my success stories are well on their way. I think these side stories/blurbs are important to share because they're more or less lessons I've learned along the way of things that I've experienced in this scene. I want you all to be as informed and prepared as you can. Much more to come! xx

As always, my asks and messages are always open! <3

#70s rock #groupie #groupies #penny lane #rock music #rocknroll #rock and roll #rockstar gf #indie rock #classic rock

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