moiiytov - Tumblr blog

[moiiytov]

Wicca is older than Israel.

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Yeah no the little guys sealed malice in a big treasure chest. We don't know how he did it either. Yeah evil has truly been defeated. Like the concept of evil. It's gone. It's coasting on momentum now. Their armies descended upon the prison planets by the millions and converted the weapons factories into a planet wide system of charming cottages and bakeries. They mainly produce apple pies now.

Yeah all the prisoners were fine with it. They all got new homes and fulfilling communities where they get to grow apples and bake pies all day.

Oh yeah, as far as we can tell their combat mechs are powered by friendship. Yeah like the concept of friendship. They figured out a way to convert friendship into mechanical motion, and it powers their combat mechs. We have no idea how it works. We've asked. They actually gave us like 1000 friendship drives for free. They look like giant AA batteries, but when you open them up there's just like, teddy bear stuffing and little paper hearts inside.

[moiiytov]

Before everybody realized it was really dumb and didn't work, there was a short period of time where cavalry in full plate armor rode into battle with a carbine and a sword. Historians widely regard this era as "rad as hell" and describe the tactic as "totally fucking sick, like, holy shit, could you imagine?"

[moiiytov]

Several masked and leather-aproned court alchemists using iron tongs to remove a live and undamaged mouse from the mystical solar kiln

[moiiytov]

I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.

Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.

It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.

[moiiytov]

I say a lot of stuff on this blog about "play another game" and I really want people to understand what I mean about that. monopolies are bad. DnD has, through marketing and business decisions and luck and capital, dominated the entire hobby in a way that no other creative genre has ever seen before.

[moiiytov]

because you had a bat day

you hang upside down

you echolocate just fly all around

[moiiytov]

comm for a samus comic based on that one tony hawk tweet. this would happen to her.

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“bi women bringing their cis-” bi women can do whatever they want shut up

[moiiytov]

'is he stupid' is one of the funniest things to add at the end of a sentence it's right up there with 'many such cases' and 'because of woke'

[moiiytov]

vasils back tattoo to his dutchess

[moiiytov]

As much as I want to support ethical farming practices I will be buying the cheapest bag of frozen chicken thighs as much as the next frugal/poor person which is why animal welfare needs to be legislated, not left up to the invisible hand of the free market or some bullshit. Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats.

[moiiytov]

This is what posting your artwork after a mutual posts a big life update feels like

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cant even enjoy my somno kink. because of woke

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tfw no werehyena gf