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Congratulations on 500 darling!!!!!!!! Can I please request 30 with azriel? Thank youuuuuuu 🤍🤍🤍🤍

Confessions at Starfall

Azriel x Reader one shot

Summary: It's the night of Starfall, and you're hopelessly in love with the Shadowsinger. When Azriel keeps flirting with Elain, you're pushed to your final limits.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO DAY 1 OF 5 FOR 500!

Thank you @cityofidek for requesting 30 - Unrequited love/pushing loved one away.

Warnings: None.

Words: 3,048

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It was the night of Starfall, and you were utterly miserable. 

Sitting at the dining table with your family, the rest of the inner circle exchanged jokes and light-hearted conversations as plates of steaming roasts, vegetables and pies were passed around. While it was usually your favourite holiday – the night ahead promising dancing and celebration, you were feeling far from festive. 

It had everything to do with the male you loved, who sat across from you now, dotting over Elain Archeron. His eyes rarely left her, and you would know, because yours rarely left him. You noted the way he sat, his body tilted slightly in her direction, his wings folded back to make provide her more space to move. To the untrained eye, it wouldn't look like much – but for Azriel this spoke volumes. 

That was the kind of detail you had learned to read over the past year. It had been twelve excruciating months since you had realised your own feelings for the Shadowsinger. Gone was the comfortable friendship you two shared – instead it was quickly replaced with blushing, timidness and uncontrollable awkwardness, all thanks to you. And while you once held out hope that Azriel might notice, or even return your feelings, overtime your friendship had drifted – pushing him further into the arms of the middle Archeron sister. 

Elain made you seethe with jealousy. It wasn’t her fault, she was nice really, all be it a bit simple. But she had a way about her, like a doe-eyed fawn their first steps. It made you uncontrollably angry the way people would line up to help her, especially the males. Not to mention her undeniable beauty. You knew she and Azriel made a very handsome couple. 

So you sat here tonight, marking every bit of attention the Spymaster gave Elain, longing for him to look at you the way he did her. Jealousy didn't even begin to cover it. 

“Y/N?”

You blinked, not realising Azriel was speaking to you even though you had stared off straight in his direction. You coughed, straightening in you seat. “Sorry, pardon?” Your heart beat at the thought he might have started a conversation with you. 

“Can you pass the potatoes?”

Your heart dropped, and you tried to hide the disappointment on your face. Of course he wasn't interested in talking to you, he hadn't in weeks. Without replying, you passed over the dish, reaching straight for the white potatoes instead of the orange kind. Azriel didn't like how sweet they were, and you knew that. It was the kind of detail you remembered about someone when you’re hopelessly in love.

“Ooh, can I please have the sweet potatoes?” Elain chirped. “They’re my favourite.” Of course the sweetest female in all of Prythian liked yams the most. You had to suppress the urge to roll your eyes. You passed the dish over silently, and watched Azriel load up his plate with those too. It took everything you had to stop the scowl that twitched at your eyes. 

You pushed your fork and knife to the centre of your plate, suddenly having lost your appetite. 

————

The luminescent glow of the stars shooting above had been going for over an hour, and the party was in full swing. You breathed in, letting the magnificent sight lighten your heart the way they did the night sky. 

Gathered on a large marble terrace of Rhys and Feyre’s river home, almost a hundred guests had come in fine gowns and suits to celebrate the event. 

Wearing a dress of midnight blue that sparkled with night, you laughed lightheartedly as Cassian and Nesta joked with you, champagne in hand. The musicians at the base of the terrace reclaimed their seats, raising their instruments and beginning a new set of elegant melody. 

“I hope you don’t mind Y/N, but I must show off my mates dancing,” he winked at you before offering his hand to Nesta. She smiled, placing a delicate hand atop of his, nodding to you before being lead to the dance floor. 

Couples now twirled and stepped in unison, the sight almost as magical as the sky above. You felt a large presence slide beside you, and your heart fluttered as shadows caught the corner of your eye. 

“Are you enjoying your night?” Azriel had finally come to spend some time with you. 

“Of course,” you lied, smiling softly as you gulped the rest of your champaign, earning a slight raise of Azriel’s brow. “And yourself?”

Azriel nodded. “It’s as beautiful as always.”

“Yes, it is.” You couldn't help but stare straight into his hazel eyes, your heart lurching as your words hung with double meaning. Ask me to dance, you begged in your head. We dance every year on Starfall, c’mon, just ask me. If Azriel was paying any attention, he would have read your pleading gaze. But he wasn’t, of course, because his eyes fell beyond you, at the pretty Archeron who wore a gown of delicate blush. 

You looked down, suddenly overwhelmed with insecurity as you smoothed the ripples in your dress. Of course he didn't like you – you looked like a witch of death compared to the femininity that blossomed from Elain. 

“You look quite beautiful tonight.”

Your heart leaped. Your anger from earlier quickly vanished as you breathed in to thank Azriel, already blushing. But as you looked up, your heart immediately sank as you realised Azriel wasn't complimenting you at all, but rather Elain, who had made her way over. 

It felt much like being punched in the gut.

Your mouth was dry as you silently watched Azriel offer her an arm, her petite hand slipping through as he guided her to the dance floor. 

That felt much like being kicked in the gut while you were down.

You couldn't help the steady flow of tears that now stained your cheeks, or the broken crumple that formed on your face. Unable to withstand any more blows, you fled the party.

————

Slumped against the frame of a large window, your body shook with cries so hard they fell silent. You didn't care if it was the most special night of the year, you had never felt more abandoned, underserving and unloved. 

You were crying too hard to hear the footsteps that trudged up to the lookout room you were hiding in, and you didn't hear the faint knock at the door. It wasn't until Cassian placed a gentle hand on your shoulder that you noticed his presence, his face soft with concern as he crouched next to you. 

You blinked back at him, your vision completely blurred by your tears. You were broken and there was no hiding it. 

“I love him, Cas,” you sobbed, your voice break halfway through as a cry shook through your body again. 

“Oh, Y/N,” Cassian said softly, his voice full of understanding as he immediately embraced you. You flung yourself to him, wrapping your arms around his solid waist as he rocked and stroked your hair. You weren't surprised that Cassian knew, anyone could have noticed months of hopeless pining and one-sided puppy love.

You continued to cry, your voice muffle by the embrace. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing Y/N! There’s not a thing wrong with you.”

“Then why doesn't he love me?”

“Because he’s a damn fool.”

You sniffed against his chest, trying to regain yourself. “But he loves her.”

Cassian sighed, the strokes on your hair pausing for just a moment. “I’m not sure that’s true.”

“Of course he does. She’s perfect.” Jealousy was not a good colour on you, but you were unsuccessful at hiding the bite in your words. 

Cassian drew back, levelling his eyes to yours. “I know it hurts right now doll, but I promise, any male that doesn't see you for the beautiful, intelligent and fiery bombshell you are, is an outright imbecile. Even if it is my own brother.”

You chuckled at that, shaking your head as you gently wiped the makeup your were sure had stained under your eyes. “Thank you Cass,” you whispered, reaching for his hands tightly. He stood now, leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead. 

“Will you come back to the party with me?”

You forced a fake smile, but shook your head. “I happiest up here. Thank you though Cass, I mean it.”

Cassian nodded, throwing a tight smile of sympathy before ducking out of the room. 

You paced to the other side of the viewing room to the window facing the terrace below where celebrations continued. Dresses of all colours fanned against the marble of the terrace, the music flowing up to the height of the room. And the stars, Gods they were beautiful. 

You saw Cassian rejoin Nesta, his arms snaking around her waist as they admired the view. Next to them were your High Lord and Lady, and beside them, a dress of pale blush. Your heart stung with envy at the site of Elain, and you narrowed your eyes as you scanned the crowd for Azriel. 

“Y/N?”

You jumped, whirling on the spot to find Azriel sheepishly standing in the doorway. 

You cleared your throat, quickly wiping under your eyes again. He had hurt you, broken you without even knowing it. You straightened your spine – the least you could do was have your pride. 

“Are you ok? Cassian said you left the party.”

You nodded tightly, not trusting yourself to speak. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” The words flew out of your mouth too quickly. 

Azriel frowned, stepping through the door towards you. You stiffened, drawing one step back. “Go back to the party Azriel,” you said tightly.

“Have you been crying?”

You scowled. How dare he note that detail when he was the one who caused it. “Don’t pretend to care,” you spat. Gone was the ache in your heart from moments ago. Seeing Azriel here now, it was quickly replaced with fiery hurt.

“What?” Azriels brow was now contort with confusion as he reached for you. You stepped back again, your arms folding over your chest.

“Why are you angry with me?”

“How can you ask that?”

“Is it because we’ve been distant lately?” So he did have some clue after all. You didn't answer, instead breaking from the intensity of his stare, your eyes focusing outside as glowing spirits that shot past the other side of the window.

“Listen, I know I haven't been around much, or maybe it’s that we haven't spent time together lately. But things have been difficult between us for a while now Y/N. I can't help but feel you’re pushing me away.”

A scoff escaped you before you could stop it. “I’m pushing you away?!”

“Yes!” He exclaimed, his hands outstretched. “For months now. You don't open up to me like you used to, every time I look at you, you look away, and you never suggest spending anytime together.”

You blinked at him, biting your lip as you tried to process what he had said. You hadn’t realised that in an attempt to burry your feelings for Azriel, you had actually pushed him away. 

“Tell me, what have I done?” Azriel’s voice was pleading as he stepped closer.

“You haven't done anything,” your voice was barely a whisper, and you were unable to meet his eyes. You had stepped away so he could explore his feelings for Elain, that was your truth. But when was the last time he made an effort for you? “But you can't pretend like you’ve been trying either, Azriel.”

He sighed then, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re right, I’m sorry ok? I’ll make more of an effort from here on.”

You nodded, tears welling in your eyes again as you blinked quickly, casting your gaze sideways yet again. You couldn't tell him – it would ruin everything.

For once, Azriel caught on to how upset you were. “You’re still angry with me?”

“Gods, Az! I wish I was angry!”

The male blinked at you before frustration overtook. “Well perhaps you could stop talking in riddles, and actually tell me what’s wrong!” he gritted.

You let out a quick breath, shaking your hands as you blinked upwards, trying your best to stop the tears that welled. “I can’t,” you whispered. It would kill you to say it, and it would kill everything you two had. 

Azriel’s gaze softened when he saw how tortured you were. Uncrossing his arms, he walked over, cupping the side of your face. “You can tell me anything, Y/N. Just tell me, what’s going on?”

His hazel eyes scanned your face, begging you to open up. But there was so much at stake here, and even if you confessed, you knew his heart lay with Elain. 

You shook your head, moving out of his hold. “If you can’t see it for yourself Azriel, I don't know what to tell you.”

Azriel frowned. “You’re speaking in riddles again.” 

You threw your hands up in defeat. “Perhaps I am,” you sighed, suddenly drained of any energy you had left. “Listen, I’m exhausted. Please Az, just enjoy the rest of your night, ok?”

“I’ll walk you to your room.”

“No,” you said too quickly. Guilt struck you at the twinge of hurt on Azriel’s face. “No, thank you. I’ll be fine.” Your voice was tight, and you quickly turned your heel, leaving Azriel still and silent as he watched you leave.

These feelings – these stupid, foolish, unrequited feelings. They hurt you and everyone involved, and you hated yourself for it. It was obvious Azriel didn’t return your affection, so why did you have to drag him down and cause a scene? You needed to do better, needed to push your love for him down, burry it in the depths of your heart so it would no longer get in his way. 

————

You were in your room for barely an hour before there was a forceful knock on your door. You jumped, pulling down the length of your silk night slip as you spoke out loud. “Who is it?”

You door flew open then, Azriel’s large frame filling the entrance as he stepped inside, his expression wild, with another emotion you couldn't quite place. His wings were outstretched, and you could tell he had winnowed here hurriedly as his chest heaved with quick breaths.

Shocked, your eyes darted over him in panic. “Azriel, what –?”

Azriel stalked towards you, closing the distance as he towered over you.

“You love me?”

You gawked, your eyes moving back and forth as you tried to connect the dots. “Who–?”

“You love me?”

Cassian. You gritted your teeth and your fists clenched. How could he share something so private? 

“No! I mean, yes, I mean, I have feelings for–”

“You, love, me…” he repeated, slower this time. It was no longer a question.

Your body burned in shame – you needed air. Pushing the double doors to your private balcony open, you grasped the railing as you tried to breath deep. Azriel was right on your tail.

“Az, I’m sorry. I’ll get over you. I promise. These feelings, they’re— they’re only temporary, I swear. I—I’ll get over you–”

Azriel bought a single scarred finger to your lips, hushing you instantly. You swallowed, panic in your eyes as they darted between his hazel ones, trying to read his reaction. As per usual, Azriel’s face was unreadable, the only movement was the gold that swirled within them. 

“How long have you loved me?” he asked, his voice cold as ice. You felt as if you were tied to a chair, under his interrogation. 

“Twelve months,” you whispered against his finger, your cheeks stinging in shame. 

Azriel raised his brows. “So for a whole year, you have loved me, without so much as a thought to share that information?”

Your frowned in confusion. “I had no plans on telling you, Azriel. I didn't want to get in your way. You and Elain–”

“What of Elain and I?”

You levelled a look at him now. “C’mon Az, its clear you have affections for her.”

“You have no idea how I feel.” There was a bite to his words, something you weren't used to from the Shadowsinger. “I am a friend to Elain, because her transition as fae has been difficult. I enjoy her company, that’s true. But I am there to support her as my High Lady’s sister, and a member of our family. If I am someone she can trust, someone she can open up to, I will be there to support her.”

You sighed. “I understand that Az, but–”

The finger returned to your lips, cutting you off. “That does not mean –” Azriel drawled, his voice low, almost dangerous. “– that I have affections for her.” He was dancing with your emotions, using them against you to teach you a lesson.

You blinked back at him, your heart fluttering with realisation before denial quickly took over. “You love her,” you whispered, more to yourself, refusing to believe the dynamics you had built in your head were an embellishment of your own idiocy. 

“I do not.”

“You do.”

“I do not.” Azriel’s voice was a growl now.

He moved in closer, and your heart began to thunder. The finger against your lip fell to cup your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. Azriel’s eyes swirled with dominance, his expression almost predatory as shadows danced between you. He leaned in close, his fresh scent filling your nose as his lips were now mere inches from your own. 

“I have affections for someone else,” he said huskily. “One might even say I love her, for many years now.”

It took all that you had not to gawk. Instead, you kept your eyes on his. “Don’t mock,” you replied, your voice a half gasp as you tried to control your breathing. 

Azriel’s mouth pulled into a smirk. “I’m not mocking.”

You flicked your gaze to his lips, then back up to his eyes, your expression bewildered and completely uncool. 

“Azriel–” was all you got out before he closed his lips over yours, his arms snaking around your waist as he dipped you back, kissing you as the stars continued to fall around you.

--------

AN: I just want to say another HUGE thank you to anyone who's been following along with my fics, you mean the world to me <3 I hope you liked this story, I would love to hear any feedback you have. Please take care, and comment if you'd like to join any of my tag lists ✨:)

Tag list:@kennedy-brooke @cosmic-whispers @jazmin2211 @psychobookaholic @fieldofdaisiies

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Lips of an Angel (Part 3)

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Based on the song ‘Lips of an Angel’ by Hinder. Azriel left you for Elain. After finding out that he has a child he didn’t know about, he’s furious.

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1,121

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Notes: Literally so short but hopefully it’s worth it. 💙

_________________________________________

Rhysand feels Azriel before he even arrives.

There’s a dark static in the air, charged like lightning ready to strike. The shadows of the room grow darker around him; seeping through the cracks of every floorboard, crawling down the corners of the walls, painting them in long, black strokes. Tendrils of anger soaked night billow in from the slats of the framed windows like thick fumes, as if Azriel is trying to smoke him out.

If Rhysand could understand their inky whispers, he thinks they would be screeching.

Keep reading

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Lips of an Angel (Part 2)

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Part 2 to Lips of an Angel per the request of many. The OG request came from @eddiesbixch696 : This randomly came to me because the song came on the radio but an absolute angst fest of an Azriel fic based on the song Lips of Angel by Hinder. The whole “my girl is in the next room but sometimes I wish she was you” lyric as he watches Elain. Ugh I love breaking my own heart sometimes 😭

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 3,512

[Part 1]

_________________________________________

This winter is one of the most bitter he’s experienced in Velaris. Or maybe it’s just him, his feelings as of late, the cold and empty cavern that is his heart without you, his thoughts wandering towards the female he’d left behind for the one who he’d thought would be his end all be all.

He turned out to be so fucking wrong about Elain.

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[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Lips of an Angel

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Request from @eddiesbixch696 : This randomly came to me because the song came on the radio but an absolute angst fest of an Azriel fic based on the song Lips of Angel by Hinder. The whole “my girl is in the next room but sometimes I wish she was you” lyric as he watches Elain. Ugh I love breaking my own heart sometimes 😭

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 578

Notes: Fantastic song. Love.

_________________________________________

Azriel hasn’t stopped staring at the drink clasped between his scarred hands. The amber liquor is the strongest he has but it’s not enough. It’s never enough. It doesn’t burn his throat the way he wants, doesn’t taste like gasoline like it sometimes does when he’s trying to out drink Cassian.

It doesn’t remove the memory of you.

He stares longingly at the empty bottle in front of him. The bottle stares right back, mocking him. He wonders for a moment if Elain had replaced the drink with something else, but he knows it’s not her doing but his own. How could he be so stupid to think that it would help numb the pain when he’s been doing this nearly every night for ages.

The liquor is smooth as he finishes his last drink and Azriel grimaces, disgusted by the velvety liquid and hearty grains. He sinks back into the couch, eyes blurry and mind straying.

He sighs, eyes gliding to the closed bedroom door. Elain is sound asleep inside and he should be in there, curled up against her like he is most nights, but his mind’s been betraying him, teasing him with the thought of you more and more and he doesn’t know how to stop it.

It’s been years since the two of you had ended things, all because of the girl in the room next door. She’d been like a breath of fresh air for him, and Azriel had spiraled. The bond hadn’t made itself known between the two of you yet and he thought that in some way he had a right to Elain, that the mating bond would form between them quickly, three brothers and three sisters.

He realized too late just how wrong he was.

Elain was all wrong for him. She smelled of freshly turned earth and flowers, like the awakening of springtime. He was used to your familiar scent, like the broad night sky and the tang of rain. It had consumed him rather than suffocated him. Her soft bright hair was too silky against the cut and jagged scars littering his skin, it irritated him endlessly. Yours were always a welcome treat, so expressive. And she had perfectly round doe eyes, so much more innocent than he. They hadn’t seen even a taste of what he had, what he shared with you. 

She was too fragile to be around, Azriel slowly came to realize. You had known and understood the darker parts of him, loved him for it. He didn’t ever feel the need to hide his dark thoughts and feelings around you, how scared he could be sometimes. You wouldn’t cringe when he’d come home bloodied from training or battle like Elain would. You’d guide him quietly into the wash room, knowing that he’d speak to you when he was good and ready, your soft hands cleaning him of his sins. 

Oh how he wished he could feel your hands on him once more.

Sometimes he thought that he could. A phantom whisper of your fingers across the expanse of his wings or trailing down his arm to tangle your fingers with his. He could recount every single place that your hands had roamed and had imagined it was you who were touching him when he’d fist his cock or when he was nestled balls deep in Elain’s pretty pink mouth. You. You were everything he wanted, needed, and he’d fucked it all up for no reason.

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Soft Spot

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 3k

Synopsis: Azriel is very particular about his lovers; typically hard-hearted women chosen so they don’t develop an emotional attachment. Reader is one of these lovers, except she’s the sweetest and cheeriest on his roster. This causes Az to begin breaking his rules about intimacy, especially when she unwittingly ends up at his home for work one evening and spends the night.  

Warnings: Smut

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azriel Shadowsinger. Methodical, efficient, focused. Rigid dietary habits, discipline in training, unwavering proficiency in espionage. The spies he trained were held to that level of diligence—hell, even the priestesses he oversaw knew he expected order even in his absence.

That detail orientation carried over to his sex life. The lovers he sought were deliberately chosen to allow him to maintain the level of control he desired. Women that understood what he wanted—how he wanted them. Women that didn’t grow emotionally attached, that understood it was purely a physical transaction. Women that he could keep from his busybody family, situated in parts of Velaris that weren’t in their usual line of frequenting.

Azriel found a positive correlation between softer, sweeter women, and their likelihood to form emotional attachment, and an equally positive correlation between women who fucked rougher, who were colder, more jaded, and their ability to remain unattached. Those who didn’t demand he slept over after, that he take them to dinner.

You were the closest thing to an exception, being the cheeriest on the roster, yet you never displayed any attachment to him. Never looked disappointed when he left without eating breakfast. That was one of the things he liked most about you; you were lively—more than any of his other lovers—so he could enjoy the more girlishly charming, satiating parts you offered, but you stayed within the limit of his preferred emotional detachment. It was like a controlled dosage of indulgence.

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Star Crossed Lovers (Pt. 2)

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 4.6k

Synopsis: Reader and Az are in love but have a falling out bc Az self sabotages. Rhys and Cass play matchmaker. Reader sneaks into his room on solstice; they have a heart to heart and a groin to groin :) 

Warnings: Smut.

(Part 1)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fall.

Flipping through your book, you basked in the life found on the pages. These days, you’d made a habit of walking the streets of Velaris when night fell, seeking the cold to contest the numbness inside. A phantom amongst the citizens; the biting wind your companion, the night sky your witness. Today, you found yourself stumbling into the bookstore you frequented with Azriel before your fallout.

You hadn’t seen him since that summer night in the Day Court mansion. A room with less rigid walls than those enclosing your heart. A desk that went from barrier to brace. A hazel-eyed prince amongst males with his head between your thighs—

You shuddered. It haunted you in the most delicious way. Shelving the book, you made your way to the shop exit.

“Y/N?”

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[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Star Crossed Lovers

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 3.7k

Synopsis: Reader and Az are in love but have a falling out bc Az self sabotages. They date other people to get over each other but they’re both unhappy. They run into each other at a party and hook up. So much angst.  

Warnings: Smut. :)

A/N: Thank you all for 1k followers!! I poured my heart into this in thanks and celebration. I love you all sm.

(Part 2)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spring.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, pretty girl?”

Azriel came to sit in front of you. You beamed up at him as he tugged on a strand of your hair like he was trying to pull your thoughts out. “Nothing,” you said, closing your notebook.

Azriel laughed. “You still don’t wanna show me your writing? I told you there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

You blushed. “It’s just, you know—intimate to show what I—it feels naked. You know what I mean?”

He nodded in understanding, eyes gleaming. “I guess I’ll have to wait til it’s published to finally read it.”

“I think I’d publish under an alias,” you laughed. “It’s too vulnerable being linked to the work.”

He studied you. “What’ll the alias be?”

You winked cheekily. “Trust me, you’ll know it when you see it.” You handed him your notebook, allowing him to read your latest work, a rare occurrence you knew he appreciated.

“Y/N?” he called from inside, pulling you out of your memories.

“Yeah,” you answered from the balcony. “I was just doing some writing,” you lied.

“Come to bed, baby.”

You made your way inside to find him undressing. He walked over and began kissing your neck hastily, pulling you towards the bed. You let him strip you bare and lay you on the bed in hopes that the carnal effort would take your mind off its perpetual occupier. You went through the motions, trying to stay grounded. But as you carded through his black hair, your mind drifted astray.

“Fuck,” Azriel rasped as he thrust into you. You arched your back, trying to grant access to the angle you needed that he wasn’t quite reaching. You tugged his head down into your neck, keeping your eyes firmly shut. He resisted the pull, raising his head and trailing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses toward your mouth. Without thinking, you turned your head away.

He stilled, halting your approaching release. You whine, undulating your hips in attempt to spur Azriel back into rhythm.

“Y/N,” he says calmly.

You ignore him, rolling your hips further onto his length. He stills you by grasping your hips and pinning them down to the bed.

“Y/N,” he says again. “Look at me.”

You begrudgingly open your eyes. Brown eyes met yours. Damian. The lust drained clean out of your blood.

“You’re doing that thing again.”

You winced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” You thread your fingers into his black hair and stroke it back. Not the right shade, not the right texture.

Damian takes you in warily for another beat.

“I was close,” you said honestly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You rise onto your elbows and kiss him. Not the right fullness to the lips. He kisses you back eagerly, releasing your hips and resuming his thrusting.

“I’m almost finished,” he breathed.

You wrap your legs tighter around his body, breathing more audibly to bring him over the edge sooner. His thrusts grew less controlled. You felt down his back. No wings to be found. In a final attempt to hold onto the pleasure slipping away, you tried refocusing on the vision that it’s him inside you. Your eyes fell shut again, Damian too far lost in his pleasure to notice. Azriel. Azriel. Azriel. You began enjoying yourself, letting the sensation grow—maybe you’ll actually get to co—

Damian spilled into you, exhaling raggedly into your neck as he finished. Your eyes snap open, a rude awakening bringing you back into the bed you were in, the male you were under. Unwinding your legs from around him, you wait for him to catch his breath. When he finally rises, he cups your face. “Did you finish?”

You nod enthusiastically. The poor fool bought it, finally rolling off and collapsing beside you. You wait a few minutes until you were certain Damian was asleep before getting out of bed.

The familiar feeling of guilt crept up on you for letting your mind imagine who you’d rather be fucking.

Covering yourself with a blanket, you made your way back to the balcony. It didn’t take long for emptiness to gnaw at your insides. You no longer bother suppressing the desolation, the feeling of wrongness attached to this whole fling. Now you bask in it; the heartbreak was all you had left, the only unfailing emotion connecting you to him.

You let grief guide your hand as sensation translated into words, plastering them onto paper just to displace them somewhere outside your mind.

i. Star crossed lovers

Time is a tectonic plate, and there is seismic wreckage cleaving our consummation. The lifeline tugging us home is ancient and heavy enough to hang the stars in the sky. You are mine and I am yours. This language cannot be spoken, an inscription that cannot be read; a whisper between our souls.

Here, I listen. Here, I hurt. Here, I hope.

During these hours, it was typical for your mind to wander back to how everything fell into place in the worst way, how you landed yourself in this mess.

The way Azriel used to take you in made you feel seen like nothing and no one else in your life. He’d encourage your writing, tease you about how you jotted everything down: prose, poetry, theories, memories. He took you to the corners of Velaris with all the best bookshops and stationery stores. He’d always keep pencils on him in case you lost yours. Let me into that pretty mind, he’d say. It’s no wonder you fell for him. The cruel bastard likely knew he made up most of the content in your writing.

You didn’t realize you’d been crying until tears smeared the ink on your paper.

You’d always thought it would be you and him in the end. It seemed inevitable, seemed natural and obvious. He called himself your best friend but touched you like you were more. He’d kiss you on both cheeks when you smiled at him, tuck you under his wing when it got chilly, come to your room unannounced and lay in your bed, watching you read and write and sleep and breathe and speak silent and spoken words to each other.

“Tell me about your mother.”

Azriel had tensed at the question. Things were rarely off limits, and he’d known everything about you. “What about her?”

You shrugged. “You don’t talk about her much.”

He silently looked you over, face carefully neutral.

“I mean—you don’t—” you sat up in the bed— “If it’s sensitive, it’s okay—I didn’t mean to pry—”

“It’s not that—I just…I don’t really—”

You shook your head. “It’s okay, Az. You don’t have to say anything. Sorry for asking.” You reached to touch his shoulder, but he remained tense, wouldn’t meet your gaze. You felt your stomach drop. Shit. You’d gone back to your reading, unsure how to clear the air. When Rhys summoned Azriel later, you didn’t see him again for the rest of the evening.

Ultimately, you were a fool to fall for Azriel. You should’ve known it would end in pain, should’ve protected your heart better. Though you loved him for everything he was, flaws included, that wasn’t enough to prevent yourself from being cut on the edges of his past.

~

Summer.

“So what do you do?” Cressida asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. Another court relations event.

You returned her kind smile. “I work with the High Lord. I’m a researcher.”

“She’s also a writer,” a baritone voice drawled.

Azriel.

You both turned to find him approaching your throng of courtiers. You clung tighter to Damian who was obliviously conversing with another.

“A writer,” Cressida mused.

“Well, nothing official—” you tried.

“She is,” Azriel cut in. “Youngest diplomat in the Night Court, top of her class in research,” he held your gaze intensely, “and a gifted writer.”

You eyed him warily, unsure what his motive was. Damian turned, finally noticing the attention on you. He chuckled. “Oh, yes. She’s always scribbling away in her notebook. I think it’s good to have hobbies.”

“She’s published,” Azriel challenged.

Damian laughed. “Hopefully she will be, one day.”

You studied Azriel suspiciously. How’d he know?

“I’d love to read your work,” Cressida said.

“Don’t bother,” Damian said. “She doesn’t let anyone see what she writes.”

Azriel’s jaw clenched, a tell of his anger. “You don’t read her work?”

Damian shrugged. “I’m not a big reader.”

Cressida laughed, clearing the air. You smiled at her effort. “I’d love to show you some excerpts.”

Damian took your hand, pulling you away. “Excuse us, we’re going to get more drinks.”

Azriel’s eyes could be felt on your back as you walked away, making you shiver. When you left the crowd, Damian faced you. “You’re published?”

Shit. “No.”

“So what was Azriel talking about?”

“Nothing. I don’t know.” You hugged your stomach.

Damian looked down at you. “Were you trying to embarrass me back there?”

“No?”

Damian huffed.

You levelled a glare. “Do you even care about what I do or just how it makes you look?”

Damian took a deep breath. “I’m trying, Y/N. You don’t let me see the things you write. I—you don’t let me in.”

Guilt replaced your irritation. You broke his gaze.

He stepped forward. “I’m sorry. I feel like there’s a disconnect between us lately. It’s a little hard to ignore.”

You sighed. “I’ve just been…having a hard time recently. I’m not—” happy—“myself.”

“We’ll get through it. You just overthink,” he said. You just nodded.

He stepped forward to embrace you and you let him. He’s trying.

You patted his shoulders to be released. “I’m going to get some air.”

You walked aimlessly through the halls of the Day Court mansion, searching for reprieve that couldn’t be found in physical structure. The last time you’d been to a work party, it’d been the night everything went to shit. The night you’d planned to talk to Azriel who’d been avoidant for days. Mor had encouraged you to tell him how you felt.

You’d been full of nervous energy the whole evening, but he hadn’t been seen for hours. Elain suddenly approached you looking solemn. “What is it?”

She led you away from the crowd. “I wanted to tell you before you saw.”

Your heart dropped. “Saw what?”

Elain took you by both hands. “It’s Azriel. He brought someone.”

Cold dread filled your gut. “What?”

She nodded. “I don’t know if it’s a date or if he’s seeing her, but he just arrived with a female on his arm.”

Your pulse hammered in your ears, eyes stinging. Was this some sort of punishment? “I thought…I really thought he liked me,” you whispered.

Elain’s eyes filled with sympathy. “I know. We all did. It’s not personal, believe me. It’s how he is. He has self-sabotaging tendencies,” she spoke softly as you caught your breath.

Eventually, you’d calmed down, thanking Elain for sparing you, and returned to the party. Sure enough, Azriel was with a pretty nymph. You approached them nonchalantly. Regret flashed in his eyes as you plastered a smile on your face, greeting her. She smiled unwittingly and took your hand.

Mor watched the scene unfold, fury barely contained when she pulled you away. She glared at Azriel unabashedly. “There you are, Y/N. I wanted to introduce you to someone worth your time.” She led you to a tall, handsome stranger.

He smiled down at you, extending a hand. “You must be Y/N. I’m Damian.”

ii. Star crossed lovers

Pride is self-sabotage, yet awareness doesn’t conjure resistance. Just as knowing it should’ve been us doesn’t make it so. You are my dream, so why do you steal me from my sleep? Occupier of my thoughts, do not ever decolonize my mind. You are mine and I am yours.

To what end do we listen, do we hurt, do we hope?

“Making a run for it?”

You halted your stride, finding Azriel leaning against a wall. You scoffed, walking faster.

“Y/N,” he said, rising and following you.

“Leave me alone, Azriel.”

You were deep in some outer wing of the mansion, thankfully void of guests. You entered the first empty room you found, as if that could rid you of the Shadowsinger. He followed, closing the door behind him. A study.

“Did your bastard boyfriend say something?” Azriel demanded.

You walked around the desk to put a barrier between you. “What’s it to you?”

“I’ll rip him to shreds.”

You laughed joylessly. “How chivalrous.”

Azriel’s jaw clenched. He circled the desk. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

You mirrored his circling. A wicked smile. “Don’t you worry, Azriel. Damian keeps me nice and happy.”

Azriel laughed at the unabashed lie. “Is that why you look sick to your stomach being around him?”

You glared. Azriel stopped circling, so you did too.

Azriel swallowed. “You’ve lost weight, Y/N.”

“Maybe being around you is bad for my health.”

His stared intensely, prowling over. You turned to keep your body parallel to his. He stopped before you, taking a step forward as you stepped back, hitting the desk. He waited for a refusal that you didn’t have the heart to make. Azriel placed his hands on either side of you, caging you in as you leaned back. You could hardly breathe, needing him to be closer, knowing he should be farther. Azriel’s eyes roamed your body. His gaze stopped at your chest where love marks remained from the night before with Damian.

“I see he’s keeping you busy,” Azriel rasped, anger biting his words.

“Mhm,” you breathed. “He fucks me every night.”

Although it contrasted your foul words, though it was in your best interest to prove you’ve moved on, that another male touched you how Azriel didn’t, you felt repulsed letting Azriel see the marks. As if it made your separation from Azriel more final. Your face burned with shame, like you were being caught cheating on Azriel. His gaze left your chest and met your eyes again. He inched closer, moving his hands to bracket your hips. “Tell me,” he rasped. “Does he make you feel good?”

Your heart pounded. “Yes.”

Azriel nodded, holding your gaze. You both knew it was a lie. “You seem terribly high strung. You sure he’s getting you off?”

“Always.” Lie.

“Yeah? You like it when he touches you?”

“Yes.” Another lie. He moved his hands down and around your thighs, hauling you onto the desk. He was so beautiful with lust displacing the hazel in his eyes. He pulled you to him and you obliged, cradling his devastating face like it was a sacred, religious entity.

“How long are we going to keep playing this game, Y/N?”

“What game?”

“The one where we lie.”

You just stared, fresh out of words.

“What do you want, Y/N?” Azriel breathed.

“I want…” you stared at his pouty mouth, memorizing the shape, the fullness. “I want…” you thumbed his bottom lip.

Azriel closed the distance, pressing a heavy kiss into your mouth, deep and claiming. You carded your fingers into his hair. He groaned as your nails scratched across his scalp. There was no distance left between your bodies, but he leaned even further forward, pulling you tighter to his chest. Your back arched, head spinning. Azriel broke away from your mouth and kissed his way down your neck.

He pulled back and looked at you, watching as your chest heaved in desire. The sight of his half-lidded eyes would be imprinted into your memory for the rest of your days, and you had no objections. He gripped your waist in his massive hands like you were about to slip out of his hold. Still utterly clothed, you’ve never felt more naked as he took you in. Like you were something to be revered.

His gaze travelled down your form. Azriel lowered himself onto his knees and took one of your ankles in hand. He placed your foot onto the center of his chest and began lacing your undone heel up your calf. You dared reach a shaky hand forward to his wing, stroking a finger across the leathery membrane. Azriel shuddered, his grip on your ankle tightening. You continued stroking, teasing around the sensitive area along the edge. You ran a fingernail back and forth over the area, reveling in Azriel’s guttural groan. He was panting, head bowed forward, resting on your knee.

Azriel lifted your foot and placed it over his shoulder. He peppered hot kisses along the inside of your leg, working his way up and up. Your arms went slack at the motion. You braced them behind you as his hands cupped both your knees and pulled them apart.

You helped him lift your dress up to gather at your waist. Azriel gently pushed you back on the desk, both your legs now dangled over his shoulders. If lust was a currency, Azriel made a wealth hoarder out of you. You felt Azriel’s hot breath over your entrance. His arms were wrapped firmly around each thigh, holding on like you were his lifeline. You rose onto your elbows to watch. The look in his eyes as he breathed you in could’ve brought you undone then and there.

Then he licked up your clothed core, and every thought eddied from your mind.

Your head slammed back into the desk. He moved your panties to the side and continued his torment, licking hot stripes up the entirety of your center. You squirmed beneath him until he moved an arm to pin you down across the hips, utterly at his mercy. He alternated between broad, heavy drags of his tongue from your core upwards, and agonizing kitten licks at your apex. Your gasping grew shallower as you neared release, nearly crying from the pleasure. He sensed this and closed his mouth around your clit and suctioned, sending you shattering over the edge. You came with a broken cry, legs trembling around his head. He didn’t let up, humming into your pulsating core as wave after wave of pleasure ripped through you. Tears streamed down your face as you pushed his head away. He finally released you, heaving in breaths.

He rose, pressing his body over yours on the desk, bracing himself on his forearms on either side of your head. He kissed you, letting you taste your release on his mouth. You placed a trembling hand onto his chest and dragged it down his muscled form. He hissed when you slipped it into his pants in search of a hardened length. You halted, opening your eyes at your discovery.

Azriel had come in his pants.

He rose off you, breathing just as hard as you were. He collapsed into a chair. You rose too, watching him with eyes like saucers. He’d finished just from eating you out.

“Don’t look so surprised,” he spoke, voice guttural. “If you honestly don’t know the hold you have on me, Y/N… I’m manacled.”

You didn’t know what to do, so you readjusted your clothes. Your trembling hardly let up, but you hadn’t felt so alive in months.

Taking him in as he drank you up from a few feet away, the heft of your actions came crashing down. How stupid both of you were for letting this happen.

Azriel followed your train of thought. “This is—it’s on me, Y/N.” Neither of you wanted to regret this. I don’t.

You waited for guilt to wash over you. This was a mistake, you insisted to yourself. And yet— “We don’t have to talk about it,” you said.

Hurt flashed in his eyes. “I—I won’t say anything.”

Your heart ached. This was too much vulnerability. “What happened to your pretty nymph? I didn’t see her tonight.”

Azriel broke your gaze. “Don’t worry about her.”

You cursed the part of yourself stupid enough to have hoped to hear otherwise. “Even after everything—”

“Does it matter?” He cut you off. “If I left her, would you have me?”

“I’d rather not beg for her sloppy seconds,” you challenged. His silence hurt. “You keep tabs on Damian, huh?” You braced yourself. “What do you say, Az? Should I punish you for prying like you punish me?”

He balked, meeting your gaze in horror. “What?”

“Do I get to punish you, Azriel?”

He swallowed. “I’m not—I’m not punishing you, Y/N.”

“Oh, but you are.” Pain unraveled in your chest, forming a lump in your throat. “If you don’t see how punishing this is, how tormenting it is, then you’re even more emotionally stunted than I thought.”

He watched as you held back tears, agony in his own eyes. “You think this is your punishment, Y/N?” He shook his head. “This is for me. It’s what I deserve.” A deep shuddering breath. “I can hardly breathe. Every night I lie awake and force myself to think of how he’s touching you, to picture you fucking him, and I can’t breathe.”

Your tears escaped.

The anguish persisted in his eyes. “This is why I stay away. I bring you nothing but pain.”

“Not true,” you whispered.

He rose from the chair and walked over to you, still perched on the desk. He cradled your face with one hand that you shamelessly leaned into. “To love is to martyr,” he said huskily.

“Not true,” you repeated.

“I wish I could give you the love you deserve, angel,” he murmured. “A love that makes you feel heard, a love that doesn’t hurt, a love that brings you hope.”

You froze, recognizing the words he spoke. Your crying stopped, but the tears remained on your cheeks. Azriel leaned down, placing a lingering kiss on each cheek.

“It was supposed to be us,” you whispered. “It should’ve been us.”

He placed his free palm flat on your chest. Not a sexual act, but a claiming one over your heart. You wondered if he could feel it breaking beneath. “In another life, perhaps,” he rasped. Then he spoke lowly in your ear. “Know that I love you, Y/N. Always. In this life and all the rest. I may not have you, but I still love you.”

With that, he took his leave, and it felt like your organs were being stolen—your very heart walking out the door, ripped clean out of your chest, leaving behind a shell of a woman—a mere skeleton filled with nothing but incarcerated love with nowhere to go.

~

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[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

The Flirting Game

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Synopsis: Reader and Az flirt around each other lots. He shoots her down bc he doesn’t feel like he deserves her. She tries to move on but he intervenes. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing?”

You looked up to find Azriel entering the threshold.

Your cheeks heated. “I was just trying to put my bracelet back on.” 

“In the kitchen?” Azriel smiled, bemused.

You offered a coy smile. “You got any objections, Shadowsinger?”

Azriel’s brows rose. “Can’t say that I do,” he countered without missing a beat.

You shrugged. “I just took it off because I was doing some dishes.” 

He studied you for a beat; one of your hands lay on the counter atop the jewelry, the other poorly attempted to latch the two ends together.

You watched Azriel as he watched you, not knowing what to do with yourself. “Let me,” he finally said.

He walked towards you at your nod of consent, standing right in front of you, making you stand straighter at the sudden proximity. He carefully picked up the ends of the bracelet. You ignored how delicately he brought the chain over your wrist, how gentle his caress was where he grazed your skin. You took a steadying breath, staring at his hands as they worked to avoid staring at his face, mere inches away from yours. 

“I can’t get the clasp,” he muttered, that baritone voice resonating right into your curling insides. You raised your wrist for him, holding your arm horizontally at chest level. He gripped the ends and tried again. With his focus on the bracelet so close to your face, this time you didn’t resist studying his devastating face. His brows were slightly furrowed in concentration. His jaw was set as he worked. 

His beauty was unparalleled.

To your regret, he successfully clasped it. “There.” He met your gaze. His fingers just barely grasped your wrist between his thumb and index. You began lowering your arm, your stare remained fixed on his. His featherlight caress held in place as his hand lowered in time with yours. He held your stare, throat bobbing.

“Thank you,” you breathed, unsure how to keep the space between the two of you empty, but words weren’t enough to displace the tension.

His eyes travelled from your eyes to your mouth. Back to your eyes. The fingers on your wrist tightened ever so slightly. The lightest pressure, yet it had the heaviest bearing on you. That pressure turned to a soft stroke of his thumb. You shivered.

Then he withdrew his hand. “No problem.” He took a step back. You frowned slightly. Did you misread his intention? You broke his gaze, turning your body so it was parallel with the counter again. 

“Do you… um, want some soup? It’s what I was making,” you tried weakly, attempting to clear the air.

You finally turned to look at him. He was watching you with that hunger in his eyes from before. Then he blinked and it was gone. “No. Thank you, I have to go meet Cassian.”

You nodded, breaking his gaze again. “Okay.” You didn’t look back up to see him as he left without another word, leaving you as confused as you just were tempted.

You didn’t see Azriel again for the rest of the day.

~

In the library, you looked for the right author section by section in lieu of the Dead Trove research on Rhys’s command. More like Rhys’s suggestion, but anything to take your mind off a certain hazel-eyed spymaster sounded swell. He had you wrapped completely around his finger and didn’t even know it. 

Your fingers stalled on a book spine as the strange occurrence in the kitchen the day before played through your mind. How he’d eyed your lips, how close he’d been to—

“Slacking on the job?” 

You started, turning to find the tenant of your thoughts.

Azriel tutted. “The High Lord will be hearing about this.” 

You smiled. “What’s it to you?”

His brows rose playfully. “I ask the questions.”

“Is that so?”

“Indeed it is.”

You nodded in challenge. Trying your hand again at flirting with him seemed futile, yet he made it come so naturally. “I was doing just fine until you came along.”

His eyes narrowed. “So now I’m the problem.”

“Mhm. You’re trouble.”

He just stared down at you, making it hard to hold his gaze. You swallowed. “What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?”

Azriel huffed a laugh. “Some of us actually have to do work around here.”

“I don’t know if I’d call distracting me work,” you quipped.

He cocked his head. “I don’t know if I’d call stroking the books work.”

You laughed. “That’s actually the best way to absorb the knowledge. Didn’t you know?”

“Odd method, but whatever gets the job done.”

Out of words to say, you let yourself shamelessly stare. He stared right back.

The silence was stifling under his gaze. You turned back to the books. “Are you a big reader?”

“Allegedly.”

You turned back to face him, feeling emboldened. “Hmm. So you’re not just a pretty face, then.” 

Azriel’s surprise betrayed him for only a moment, before he broke your gaze, blushing. You caught his small smile before he turned to face the bookshelves. Shit. Too bold. You turned to face the books too. “Enjoy your book stroking, Y/N.” You tensed at the gentle rejection, face burning. 

You frowned at the books, offering no response in the wake of your shame. Azriel swiftly made his way to the exit at your silence. God, that was mortifying. Did you truly misread his tone again? But he’d smiled at the comment. The confusion blurred the sharp edges of embarrassment, making it marginally more bearable. 

It took a few moments to settle down, but once you finally did, you steeled your nerves and yielded to the wall emerging inside you. 

No, you didn’t misread his tone twice. But you wouldn’t let him shoot you down a third time. 

~

You were determined to have a good night, even if it was just to recover from Azriel’s light rejection. You surveyed the room, unabashedly taking in the males around you, looking at the attractive ones from head to toe, from one to the other, onto the next. 

Mor was appalled when you’d told her what Azriel said. Enjoy your book stroking my ass! He’d know a thing or two about lonesome stroking. Asshole. She’d helped you get ready for the party, some formal event crawling with officials.

An opportunity. 

You weren’t a quitter by any means, but a girl can take a hint. If he wanted to play games, you could too. The hot and cold one just wasn’t your pick of the litter.

Azriel sat on the opposite end of the room, nursing a drink as he conversed. You didn’t miss the way he immediately looked for you upon entering the room, the heft in his gaze as he took you in in your dress. You’d looked away.

Of all the hints you’ve been dropping this week, that was the one he chose to take.

You made it a point not to look his way since, and he hadn’t looked your way either. 

You were sitting on the arm of a couch, sipping leisurely on your drink as you continued your scouting. Sons of lords and ladies, emissaries, warriors—the selection was not bad at all.

“I didn’t know the high lord made courtiers out of hawks,” a voice drawled to your left. 

You turned to find a male leaning against the wall. You cocked your head at him in confusion.

“You’ve been assessing the crowd like a huntress all evening.”

You shrugged. “Nothing wrong with a little spectating.”

“Can’t argue there,” he smiled. “I’m Andri.” He extended a hand, which you took to shake. He raised it to place a kiss on it. “High Lord Kallias’s son.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you offered. Nice indeed. His mother was a beauty, and he’d clearly inherited her sharp features. A rosy tint on his porcelain skin. Tousled white hair. Striking icy eyes. 

“You’re the night court emissary?” 

You turned your body to face him, so your crossed legs hung off the side. “Emissary, advisor, part-time academic, I suppose.”

The familiar sensation of Azriel’s shadows swirling around your feet momentarily distracted you, but you kept your eyes glued on Andri.

“Sounds like a handful.”

You offered a smile. “Gotta occupy my free time somehow.”

His gaze endured. “I haven’t seen you before. Does Rhys keep you locked away?”

You laughed. “Something like that.”

He stepped forward so his legs brushed your knees. He reached for your hand. “I’d like to see you more,” he muttered. 

The dejection from earlier gnawed at your stomach as you weighed your options. Without looking, you knew Azriel was listening to your conversation. Just like you weren’t looking his way, but you could see him downing his drink in your peripheral vision. So you placed your hand in the open palm, and Andri pulled you to him, raising you to your feet.

A glass suddenly slammed into a table. 

You both turned to see Azriel standing abruptly. He made his way to you. You froze, not knowing what to expect. Once he made it to you, he took a deep, steadying breath, staring right into your eyes. “Azriel,” you breathed.

You were almost fearful for Andri’s safety. You removed your hand from his and braced it tentatively on Azriel’s chest on instinct. Azriel brought his hand up and placed it over yours. His hold was alarmingly gentle in contrast to the reaction he just displayed. “Y/N,” he exhaled.

“Yes?” 

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

The rejection from before came crashing down on you. You pulled your hand out of his hold. Your hurt must’ve shown in your eyes, your irritation, because Azriel’s mask of authority and contained fury faltered. Regret flashed in his eyes, just enough to tip the scale. “Okay,” you said tensely. You let him lead you to the balcony.

Mor, bless her heart, immediately jumped into action, bounding for Andri to do damage control. 

Out on the balcony, you crossed your arms across your stomach. He leaned over the railing overlooking to city, steadying himself as you waited patiently. When he turned back to look at you, gone was the anger from before. “I’m sorry,” he began.

You eyed him warily, nodding for him to continue. 

“I didn’t mean to get angry.”

You shrugged. “It seems you don’t mean a lot of things.”

He winced. “Y/N. It’s not like that.” He walked to stand directly before you.

“What’s it like, then?”

He took a deep breath. “You don’t… you don’t understand.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. 

“Tell me,” you tired a touch more gently. 

He looked at you with visible pain in his eyes. Whatever he couldn’t say was eating him up inside. More silence followed as he tried and failed to get the words out.

“Az,” you stepped toward him, reaching forward for his hand. You stopped yourself, retracting your hand. “Tell me,” you whispered. 

“I can’t.”

You huffed, exasperated. “Okay. I’m going back inside then.”

You tried to walk away when he suddenly grasped your elbow, halting you. “Don’t see him,” Azriel said.

“What?”

“Don’t see him.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” he gently pulled you back to where you stood before, both his hands now bracketing your elbows. “Because, Y/N. You’re mine,” he rasped.  

You faltered, unable to hide the shock on your face. You brought your hands onto his chest but couldn’t bring yourself to push him away. “You don’t mean that,” you breathed.

Azriel’s eyes screwed shut for a moment. “Do you have any idea,” he rasped lowly, “how fucking hard it is to stay away?”

You stared blankly, hands still braced on his chest. Not one thought in your mind.  

“You have no idea, Y/N. No idea.”

“But why?” you breathed. Your pain shone on your face to match his.

“Because.” An inhale. “I don’t—I don’t deserve you.”

“What?” you balked. Was he being serious? “Azriel,” you huffed in disbelief. “What?” you repeated, at a loss for words. 

“You’re just… you’re good, and kind, and you’re full of life. I don’t want to take that away,” he spoke lowly. Like speaking any louder would make it more real. 

“Az,” you breathed. “I feel like you’re overestimating your powers a bit there.”

He frowned in confusion. 

You continued. “You can’t take away any part of me. And you’re not some…corroding entity.” 

He cracked a smile, despite himself.

“You’re also good and kind and—and everything I’ve wanted. You make me feel alive, Az.”

Azriel moved his hold to your waist. You could feel his heart racing beneath your hand.

“Haven’t I made it obvious I was into you?” you offered a small smile.

Azriel grinned in return. “Well, yeah, your flirting wasn’t exactly subtle.”

You shrugged. “Can’t help that you’re my favourite batboy.”

His smile endured. “So you’re not just a pretty face, then.”

You laughed. “Hey!” you tired sounding offended, but his laugh made you beam. 

He pulled you closer. “You’re my favourite.”

“But I’m not a batboy.”

“Stop ruining the moment,” he chuckled.

You smiled up at him, and you couldn’t stop smiling even as he kissed you. Didn’t stop smiling when he finally broke away and led you back inside.

He leaned down to whisper, “we probably jeopardized Night Court relations with Winter.”

You grinned up at him. “You win some, you lose some.”

He smiled down at you, nothing but happiness lighting up his eyes. “Indeed.”

~

taglist: @iimisty-a @feyretopia @cityofidek @cullenswife @reiincarnatiion @sfhsgrad-blog @answer-the-sirens @mrstangerinejohnson @marigold-morelli @courtofjurdan @azriels-mate123 @punishers-girl

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Restless Dreams

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Synopsis: Reader has unrequited feelings for Azriel, which is actively breaking her heart. She dreams about him each night as she copes. Azriel finds her one night brooding in her pain.

A/N: I put my whole azussy into this

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Seated by the window in the Town House, you were surrounded by the laughter and merriment of your friends, but all you felt inside was a cold that could rival the snowfall outside. You sat politely so your presence wouldn’t be suspected of its fraudulent nature, smiling when it was appropriate, raising your eyebrows when it was required.

It was a rare evening where everyone had unceremoniously made their way into the House at one point or another, coming home from missions and meetings. Rhys declared it an official family night in, breaking out the good wine and moving everyone into the living room. In the past, these were the nights you loved the best; that hadn’t been the case for a while. You knew you couldn’t turn down yet another get-together without raising eyebrows, especially with how much you’ve already been avoiding your family. And so you sat, swallowing down your drink where it would sink to the pit of your belly, neighbouring the feelings you kept buried deep in your ribs.

You let your eyes wander over your friends to see if anyone suspected your fleeting detachment and caught Cassian’s eye across the room watching you. He was seated next to him, who you’ve become very good at avoiding when the yearning got too raw. It helped the pain, just marginally, to avoid him. He laughed warmly with Feyre in your peripheral vision, reinforcing the ache in your chest. You shuddered at both the pain and desire that flared up at his laughter. You kept your eyes trained on Cassian to keep the intake of him controlled. Like a maximum dosage that bordered fatality.

Cassian studied you. You cringed knowing he caught onto you, so you sent him your most convincing reassuring smile. His brows only furrowed further. It was time to make yourself scarce, lest the others see what Cassian saw. You kept your smile plastered on your face and stood to go to your room. As you walked by Cassian, he gently grasped your elbow to stop your exit. You noted the hurt in his eyes, and you shook your head softly to dismiss his concern, shrugging out of his hold.

Once you made it into your room, you let that familiar feeling of anguish wash over you like a safety net you could count on falling into each night. You sat in your armchair by the window and let your tears spill freely now. The cold from outside seeped generously into your room, but you welcomed the sting it brought, a slight numbness to contrast the excess emotions reeling inside you. Meals had become few and far in between, as if the stale love inside you occupied the space in your belly, leaving none for food.

You closed your eyes and awaited the dreams that came each night, dreams of a hazel-eyed male, his beauty that rivalled artistic sculptures, his patience and attentive nature, his beautiful hands that held your heart. The male you were so in love with that it bordered on insanity.

The male that didn’t return your feelings.

Did it count as heartbreak if it was ongoing? Was unrequited love the same as rejection? The definitions and borders were all blurry, just like your drowning eyes.

~

You were startled out of your thoughts at the sound of gentle knocking on your door, maybe a half hour later. You took a deep breath and walked over to open the door. There you found Cassian taking you in with the concerned expression he donned before. He looked behind you, scowling. “It’s freezing in here. Why are you sitting in the cold?”

You shrugged, hugging your arms across your abdomen. When you looked back up at him, Cassian was still visibly worried. His hesitation to come into your space was a testament to how aware he was of your vulnerable state because normally he’d walk right in. “Do you mind if I come in?” he asked. You nodded.

Cassian immediately made his way to your window, closing it shut. You didn’t miss him eyeing the empty bottle of drink you had near the window, but he didn’t comment on it. He sat on your bed and patted the spot adjacent to him for you to join him. You obliged.

“What’s going on, sweetheart.”

Cassian’s kind nature was testing your composure. You inhaled deeply. “Nothing, Cass. I’m fine.”

“You haven’t been fine for a while. Tell me what’s bothering you.” You hesitated, mulling it over. “Why haven’t you gone to Azriel?” he asked quietly. This prompted you to look at him in alarm. “You used to go to him for everything. Did he do something that upset you?”

You shook your head. “No, nothing happened between us.”

Cassian was thoughtful for a beat. “You’ve been avoiding him, haven’t you?”

“Not because anything bad happened,” you assured, voice small.

“Hmm,” Cassian pondered. “Nothing bad… but it is something to do with Az?”

Shit. Maybe you should’ve started with stronger denial. You exhaled in defeat, frowning at your hands in your lap again as you felt tears warm your eyes at the truth.

“You sure he didn’t do anything to upset you? I’ll kick his ass. Just say the word.”

You shook your head. “He didn’t do anything, Cass.” That’s the problem. You blinked at the tears, willing them to stay put.

“Ah,” Cassian said quietly. You looked up, sensing him reaching understanding. Cassian’s eyes were full of empathy as he spoke lowly, gently. “Do you have feelings for him, sweetheart?”

That broke your final hold on your composure. You bowed your head and began softly crying, bringing your hands up to cover your eyes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 

“Oh, (Y/N). Come here,” Cassian said, moving closer to hold you.

You let him engulf you, leaning into his warmth. You kept your hands on your face, but Cassian didn’t mind, holding you to his chest regardless. You cried silently, save for the occasional sharp inhale. Cassian rubbed your back, murmuring sweet reassurances into your hair. You felt exposed, embarrassed to be caught liking his brother, having unrequired feelings – how childish did this make you look?

You pulled away from him and Cassian released you. You furiously wiped away at the hot tears, taking shuddering inhales as you forced the crying to come to a stop. “Sorry,” you said weakly.

“Don’t apologize.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Just drunk.”

Cassian saw through the dishonesty but let you have it. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“What difference would that have made?”

Cassian took your hands in his. “It would’ve helped. We’ve been worried about you, (Y/N).”

You looked at him, the unspoken question hanging in the air.

“Yes, Azriel is worried too. He thinks you’re mad at him.”

You huffed. “No, I’m not mad. It’s just, like… marginally easier this way.”

Cassian nodded in understanding. You saw him silently eyeing the bottle again. “It helps a bit,” you explained. “With the sleep.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… when I fall asleep, I, um, I dream about him.” You swallowed at the ache in your throat. “That’s the hardest part.”

“Why?” He asked, his patience endless.

“It’s just… he’s mine in the dreams, and then I wake up, and he’s… not.”

Cassian frowned. “You’re breaking my heart, kid.”

You smiled weakly, waving off his concern. “It’s not that bad. Sorry.”

He opened his arms to hug you once more, this time you reciprocated the hold. He murmured, “it’s gonna be okay, sweetheart. Give it some time.”  

You nodded, indeed feeling a bit better. Cassian eventually released you, making you promise to keep the window closed all night. You laughed at the request but agreed. He even tucked you in and left you to fall into a deep sleep.

~

The next day, you worked up the courage to sit through dinner with your family. No one said anything, but you didn’t miss the momentary shock when you arrived to join them. Feyre beamed at you. Azriel tried to catch your eye, which you avoided. Cassian smiled and beckoned for you to sit beside him, so you did. Conversation resumed as you all ate.

“How was your mission in Summer Court, Az?” Rhys’s question caught your attention.

“Not bad,” Azriel answered.

“Everything go okay with Cressida?”

Azriel nodded. You firmly planted your focus on the table.

“You know, it’s time to put yourself out there,” Rhys suggested. You couldn’t suppress your frown. What?

“I can always put a good word in,” Feyre added.

“That could be a great Court relation,” Mor mused.

“You’d be great with her,” Rhys added.

You flinched.

Your cutlery clattered where they toppled onto your half-eaten plate.

Fuck. 

Your stomach dropped. Azriel and Cressida?

Everyone’s attention slid to you, and your cheeks reddened. Rhys opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, so you rose abruptly before he had the chance to do so. “I—Sorry, I didn’t mean to—” you spoke weakly as you gracelessly backed your chair. Azriel’s gaze burned onto you as you did, which you also promptly ignored.

You didn’t mean to have a visible reaction. Didn’t mean to draw attention to yourself. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“(Y/N),” you heard Azriel say.

 “I—just—my head hurts—” you said to no one in particular. You couldn’t swallow from the dryness in your throat. The silence was deafening as they watched you leave the dining room.

Everyone remained in their seats, stunned by your sudden departure.

“What was that?” Mor asked.

Cassian watched his family piece together your reaction. Azriel had a troubled look, shadows swirling as they whispered in his ear. When Cassian turned to Rhys, he found him already watching.

Do you know what that was? Rhys spoke to Cassian mind to mind.

Cassian swallowed. Yes. 

Rhys urged him on with a nod.

She’s hurting real bad, Rhys. 

Rhys was silent for a moment. Let’s go somewhere else. 

~

Cassian found himself in Rhys’s office with Feyre. They left one at a time to reduce the suspiciousness of the ordeal.

“What’s going on with (Y/N)?” Feyre asked.

For your sake, everyone tried to pretend not to notice, to let you work through whatever was hurting you on your own. You’d never been the type to close yourself off, so they all tiptoed. Cassian wasn’t sure if this was a breach of confidentiality; he winced but began. “(Y/N) has feelings for Az. She’s had ‘em for a while. It’s why she’s been so off lately.”

Feyre’s mouth formed an o shape.

“How long have you known?” Rhys asked.

“Not long. I didn’t want to say anything, but it’s eating her up inside.” Cassian says.

“Damn,” Feyre murmured.

Rhys frowned. “I only suggested Az moves on because I know he wants (Y/N).”

Feyre nodded. “He’s been trying to get over her. It was just bad timing, the suggestion.”

“Did you know?” Rhys asks Cassian.

Cassian grimaced. “I suspected but didn’t want to give her any false hope.”

Feyre silently mulled over it all. “What should we do?”

Cassian rose. “Leave it to me.”

~

“(Y/N),” you heard a voice say softly. “(Y/N).”

You stirred.

You opened your eyes to find Azriel crouched in front of where you’d fallen asleep in your chair by the window, his face etched with concern. Your heart swelled with affection.

“Azriel.”

“Yes, angel.” He was speaking to you so gently, like his voice could break you.

There was no way he was here. This had to be one of your dreams. God, he was so beautiful. You reached out with both your hands and traced your fingers down his cheeks. They were so much warmer than your fingers. He was looking at you with his full attention, something like longing in his eyes.

“You’re here,” you said, half-asleep.

He nodded patiently. “I’m here.”

If only. The longing in his eyes turned to pain as he took you in, prompting you to frown. “What’s the matter?” you asked.

“You haven’t been okay,” he continued using that gentle tone.

You cradled his face in your hands, letting yourself have him freely in this dream. “It’s okay,” you reassured.

He shook his head. “It’s not okay. I didn’t realize that I—that I was hurting you,” he pressed. The concern on his face drew lines of worry between his brows. “I’d never want that. I thought you wanted space, so I—” he cut himself off. He reached up and gently took your hands in his, pulling them off his cheeks and securing them into one of his hands, holding them to his chest. “Why are you in the cold? Your hands are freezing.”

You shrugged, indeed feeling the bite of the cold in your room. He must’ve closed the window upon entering. You looked around you, rousing more fully, noting how crisp everything was around you. You looked back to Azriel, feeling the warmth from his chest seeping into your hands, feeling his shadows gently caress your ankles. Was this—

“This is real,” he whispered.

You felt your pulse quicken, confirming this was indeed not a dream. “Oh,” you whispered back. But how did he—

“Cassian told me,” he answered.

“Oh,” you said again. That traitor. “What did he—how much did he—?”

Azriel’s eyes softened. “Not much, but he did say you were having trouble with sleep.” You simply nodded, dumbfounded. “I brought you some food,” he added. He pulled a bowl of hot broth from the floor. The gesture and the confrontation of it all brought tears to your eyes all over again. Neither one of you commented on them as they freely fell down your cheeks.

Azriel brought the broth between the two of you. You reached for the bowl, but he didn’t let you take it. You settled for the spoon, eating spoonfuls of broth as your tears fell, the warmth soothing the lump in your throat. After you had a good helping, Azriel was satisfied with your eating. You placed the spoon back in the bowl and he put it aside. He reached forward and wiped away your tears.

“I’m sorry for not—” he took a deep breath and tried again. “I’m not good at these things. I didn’t know if you… if you wanted this. The whole time we were close, I wanted you so bad, (Y/N). I just didn’t think I deserved you.” You shook your head, but he continued. “I still don’t think I’m good enough for you,” he confessed.

“You’re all I ever wanted,” you said.

Azriel shuddered. “God, (Y/N). You don’t know how badly I... I just don’t want to be selfish, but I suppose that’s doing us more harm than good.”

Your tears finally stopped.

“I’ll spend every day trying to do right by you, angel.”

You shook your head. “Az, I want you for who you are right now. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. There’s nothing more you have to do or any part of yourself you have to fix.”

He swallowed. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

You shrugged, smiling. “Maybe all of this was just a cry for attention.”

Azriel barked a laugh. “Right. All of this was for attention.”

You laughed with him, and he watched as you did, eyes sparkling. You reached for him again. He opened his arms to you, and you practically threw yourself onto him, where he caught you and held you steadfast to his chest.

“So you dream about me, huh?” he mused into your shoulder.

You laughed. “Shut up. More like night terrors.”

He chuckled. “Sure thing.”

You pulled back. The two of you sat across from each other on the floor. He cradled your face. “I missed you,” he breathed.

“I did too.”

He pulled you to him gently. You didn’t resist.

His breath fanned across your face, and his lips grazed yours. He kissed you gently, testing the waters. You needed more. He complied, wrapping his arms around your waist, and pulling you into his lap where you happily climbed into. He kissed you so deeply you felt warm everywhere. You followed his lead, the intensity of it all, matching his movements until he finally broke for air. The two of you stared at each other, dazed and wild-eyed.

“Don’t leave again,” he rasped.

“I won’t.” I can’t.

“Good.”

“Say you’re here to stay,” you breathed. He kissed you one final time.

“Always, angel.”

~

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[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Temptress

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 3.9k

Synopsis: Reader has to play temptress/dancer at the Court of Nightmares for the IC. She has to sit on Az’s lap (conveniently necessary) and eat from his hand. Friends to lovers. They can barely keep their hands to themselves.

A/N: visual aid. Coined diadem ~ The outfit  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You ran your fingers through the beautifully crafted outfit laid on your bed, mulling over the plan for tonight. You were going to the Court of Nightmares for the very first time as a new member of the Inner Circle. The role you’d be playing wasn’t a light one by any means; you were asked to play the role of Court Temptress, seducing the Shadowsinger. The distraction tonight, a figure that no one could place, that would not be named.

“I know it’s a little intimidating,” you jumped slightly at Mor’s voice suddenly behind you. You turned to face her. “Remember it’s not too late to back out.”

You smiled at your friend. “It’s okay, the mask will definitely help.” In the spirit of the intended mystique, Rhys had a dancer’s veil fashioned as part of the outfit; a diadem draped with intricately organized gold coins that would cover your whole face save for your eyes.

Mor patiently waited to help with your hair and makeup while you changed into the outfit. You wore an off-shoulder corseted black bodice glittering with beadwork that replicated the night sky. Jewelled strings hung off the bottom in an overlaid formation, draped like necklaces resting on your exposed abdomen. The bottom was a matching chiffon black skirt that hung off your hips in a floor-length piece, one down the front and one down back, slitted to expose both your legs.

When you walked out wearing the two-piece ensemble, Mor squealed in delight, making you laugh. “Beautiful! It’s so perfect!” You sat at the vanity to let her do your hair. She curled it into generous waves that fell down your back, fixing the back of the diadem into your hair. “He’s going to love it,” she said as she finished your hair. You perked up, cheeks heating.

“Who?”

Mor rolled her eyes, smiling. “You know exactly who. I’ll be right back,” she winked and left your room. You continued to take yourself in the mirror. Despite your nerves, you couldn’t help but admire your look. The black lining your eyes in a fierce upward sweep, the thick lashes, the way the coins moved with your movements.

Most of all, you appreciated the way your eyes shone behind the gold coins decorating your face, reminding you of a creature of seduction. A siren.

A knock sounded on your door. “Come in,” you said to Mor, inspecting the various crescent moon and star jewels adorning the length of your hair. Mor didn’t say anything upon entering, the silence prompting you to turn and see what was wrong. Except it wasn’t Mor who stood in your room, taking you in.

It was Azriel.

His mouth was parted slightly in astonishment as he gently closed the door behind him. You stood to face him fully, feeling exposed under his inspecting gaze. His mouth closed, jaw clenching and unclenching as his eyes travelled down your form, then back up again. Thank God for the veil, you thought as pink tinted your cheeks.

“Wow,” he said, letting his eyes rake your form once more. “You look… you look stunning.”

You ducked your head at the compliment. “Thank you.”

When you looked up again, he was smiling fondly. “Come on, none of that.”

“What?”

“No bashfulness. Not tonight. Look at you,” he said, walking towards you. A smoky look appeared in his eyes as he held your gaze. “Beautiful,” he said lowly, making your gut twist.

You swallowed. “Thank you,” you repeated. You and Azriel had become best friends over the few months you’ve known each other. The kind of best friends that toed the line a lot, the kind with lingering gazes and extra caresses that they didn’t acknowledge.

“Mor said you needed help with the jewelry.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Did she now.”

Az smiled cheekily. “Don’t shoot the messenger. It��ll be a good warm-up for tonight.”

“Ah yes,” you mused. “My partner in crime for the night.”

You turned to face the vanity again in search of the jewelry. None was laid out, making you frown. You met Azriel’s gaze in the mirror. “Rhys had these custom-made,” Azriel said, pulling out a velvet box you hadn’t seen when he entered. You began turning to see the contents, but Azriel stopped you with a gentle grasp on your shoulder. He began retrieving the contents of the container; a set, you presumed. He looks beautiful too. He donned a black dress shirt and dress pants, the fabric straining under the movement of his muscles. His golden skin glowed in contrast to his dark attire. Azriel pulled out a celestial gold necklace, placing the container on your seat. He unclasped it and brought his hands over your head to place it on you. The pendant fell above the swell of your chest. You moved your hair up to allow him to clasp it in place, and he moved even closer to do so. If you leaned back even an inch, you’d feel his abdomen on your back. You’d feel his breath, feel his warmth. Just an inch – 

“There.”  

You snapped out of your trance, meeting his gaze again in the mirror. He gestured for you to turn with his finger. You turned and craned your neck back to compensate for his towering height. He gazed down at you before finally stepping back. He reached for more jewelry in the box, but you didn’t take your eyes off him as he did. He moved to your side, grasping your right wrist gently to pull your arm up. You did as he silently requested. He treacherously grazed the length of your raised arm with the back of his knuckles until he reached your bicep. There, he clasped a thin, golden cuff in place. He then met your gaze.

“Was that necessary?” you asked despite yourself.

“Oh, yes,” he smiled.

You rolled your eyes, once again saying a prayer of thanks for the veil masking your blush.

He walked to the other side of you and placed the matching cuff in place. You reached into the box and began stacking rings on your fingers to distract yourself. He then held out a bracelet between his fingers, allowing you to rest your wrist on it for him to secure it. He repeated the motion with the second bracelet. You didn’t mind being under his care like this, you thought. “Is that all of it?”

He met your gaze, and that intensity from before came to life in his eyes again. “No.” He reached for the final piece in the box.

You frowned at it in confusion. “What is that?”

“It’s for your thigh.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh.” You took it from his hands and bent to clasp it around your upper thigh. You struggled to clasp it behind your thigh while keeping the chains draping in correct formation, prompting you to begin again and again.

Azriel placed a gentle hand on your wrist. “Let me,” he said. You gave him the chain.

To your shock, Azriel dropped to one knee. The gesture was startlingly intimate, making you hesitate. “Az, you don’t have to do that.” He just shook his head, brushing off your worry. He clasped it in place easily. When he finished, he didn’t immediately rise as you expected.

He gingerly grasped the backs of your calves, meeting your gaze. “Nervous?”

You tried to compose yourself. “What?” Your breathlessness betrayed you, though he didn’t comment on it.

“For tonight,” he clarified.

As if you could focus with his hands grasping you gently. “A little bit.”

He smiled, fondness snuffing out the previous look of fervour. “You don’t need to be. Let them see you as I see you.”

You dared voice your question. “How do you see me.”

“Beautiful, clever, charming.”

Despite his praise, despite what it did to your heart, you felt your nerves arise. “I don’t know if I can do this, Az.”

He stood at your admission. You kept your gaze lowered, prompting him to raise your chin gently to meet his gaze once more. “You can,” he said. The certainty in his voice made you believe he meant it. “I’ll be wearing a mask too,” he said softly.

“What mask?”

He smiled again. “The big bad Shadowsinger mask.” That made you laugh, easing your nerves. “I’m going to be acting very unfeeling and ravenous.”

“Big words,” you smiled up at him.

“Indeed,” he smiled back.

Silence fell upon the two of you as you looked at each other. This wasn’t uncommon, though neither of you ever acknowledged it. “What’ll it be like when I walk in?” You broke the silence.

Azriel’s eyes glinted with something predatory. “They’ll be on their knees for you. As any male should be.”

The thrill that went through you had you raising your chin. “Is that so?”

Azriel smiled, all masculine satisfaction. “Did I not just give you a demonstration?”

You smiled coyly despite the butterflies in your stomach. “I suppose.”

Another silence fell, though you had no intention of breaking it this time. Azriel reached to the veil on your face, gingerly tracing the coin above your mouth. You watched as he did, wanting to see what he’d do next –

“(Y/N), we’re leaving in five,” Mor shouted from outside, knocking on your door. You startled, stepping back. You looked back to Azriel. He gave you a nod, then turned and lead the way to meet the rest of the group outside.

~

Upon entering the foyer, you found everyone standing getting ready to winnow. They turned to you as you arrived with Azriel. Cassian let out a wolf whistle, making you laugh. “You’re a knockout,” he said.

You gave him a cheeky raise of your shoulder, grinning at him. Rhys and Feyre were smiling at you, though you knew you wouldn’t be seeing those smiles when they’d ascend the Court of Nightmares throne. “I knew you’d be perfect,” Feyre said.

“It’ll be a good look for Az, too,” Cassian said, wiggling his brows suggestively, making you laugh. A reminder about your intended role for tonight. Not just any Temptress, but Azriel’s.

“Remind me again why I’m assigned to Az?” you asked.

Rhys’s mischievous smile had you immediately regretting the question. “Because you two can just look at each other exactly as you do anyways, and it’ll get the job done.” You glared and gave your High Lord the middle finger, making Feyre and Cassian laugh as Rhys continued to smugly smirk at you.

“Slanderous allegations,” Azriel quipped. You turned to look at him, and he only winked at you with a crooked grin. You went to elbow him, but he easily caught your elbow before impact, returning your arm in place.

“They make it too easy,” Feyre said to Cassian who nodded easily.

“Whatever,” you said.

“Ready?” Mor asked.

You took a deep breath, remembering what Azriel said to you. They’ll be on their knees for you. “Ready.” You took her hand, Azriel took the other, and the world disappeared.

~

You found yourselves in the antechamber leading to the throne room, prompting everyone to put on their subjective masks; the cruel, tyrannical inner circle outsiders believed you all to be. Cassian was to enter first along with Azriel, then Amren, Mor, Nesta, and Elain. Rhys and Feyre would follow, and you’d be the last one in.

Azriel turned to you as everyone prepared themselves. “Remember what I said,” he spoke softly with no trace of humour. “When you walk in, just keep your eyes on me. Don’t worry about anyone else.” You nodded.

A hushed silence overtook the room as each member walked in. When Rhys and Feyre made their way in, you heard vague shifting. They’re kneeling, you realized. As your high lord and lady made their way to the thrones, you walked to the threshold of the throne room, taking it all in.

Someone inside began playing slow, mesmerizing music. Notes from a violin, then the slow, rhythmic beat of drums that you felt in your bones. Your friends flanked the thrones. You remained standing where you were, letting the music wash over you as you watched Feyre and Rhys finally ascend onto their thrones. They sat, though Rhys made no move to address the room. The court remained on their knees, parted on either side of the walkway like a sea.

An energy passes through you that’s equally as nerve-racking as it was thrilling, making you shiver. A siren, you said to yourself. Be a siren. You caught Azriel’s eye watching you from where he stood to the right of Rhys’s throne. Despite the mask he donned, his face cold and calculating, all hard lines and taut jaw, you saw the slightest smirk uplift the corner of his mouth, as if he were saying I told you they’d be on their knees. You steeled your nerves, drawing strength from Azriel. The male you loved so dearly, who called you so many pretty things tonight that you lost count.

You let your body go lax, stepping into the threshold of the room. You followed the beat of the sensual music, letting your hips sway as you walked in, keeping your arms relaxed at your sides. Temptress, you reminded yourself. With all eyes on you, you fell into the necessary headspace and sauntered over to the throne.

When you finally reached the throne, you fell to their feet in an exaggerated curtesy, your skirts fluttering dramatically around you. Only then did Rhys finally allow everyone to stand. “Rise,” he said simply. Everyone did except for you, where you continued to sit on the floor of their thrones, though you did look over your shoulder to the room and found that all eyes remained on you. You adjusted your position with full intention to find a more comfortable seat, turning to face the room. You leaned lazily with your back on the middle of their thrones, extending your feet and making a show of rearranging your skirts over your legs.

It was then that Kier came to address his high lord and lady. They spoke, Kier’s animosity barely concealed, Rhys and Feyre’s unhidden. Kier’s gaze kept flitting back to you in distaste, which you knew your friends noted. “We brought you a gift since you’ve been so obedient lately,” Rhys said. That was your cue.

“Isn’t she lovely?” Feyre asked as you stood.

Kier looked you over, clearly unimpressed, but simply said, “yes. Lovely.”

“Dance for us,” Feyre told you. You obeyed, stepping around Kier like he was a stranger on the street. You made your way to the middle of the room. The music picked up, the rhythm was loud and soothing. You fell into a sway, winding your arms around you gracefully. You dropped your hips rhythmically, following the sound of the drums. Once again, all eyes were on you. The distraction was working, allowing Mor to slip out and retrieve the orb that was needed. Don’t be nervous, you heard Feyre speak in your mind. Just look at how he looks at you.

You dared look back to find Azriel’s gaze between your slow, sensual twirls. Sure enough, he could barely conceal the hunger in his eyes. His head was slightly elevated, giving his eyes a heavy-lidded fall. Bedroom eyes, whether that was part of his mask or not. He’s just playing his role, you replied to Feyre in your mind.

I promise you there’s nothing ingenuine in his look, she whispered back. At that, you matched the look he was giving you, raising your chin as you danced and lazily took him in. But not for too long, as you twirled away, letting the whispers commence. Under his wistful stare, you finished your dance number, the music ending. You remained where you were, still holding everyone’s attention. The court applauded, and you turned to make your way back to the thrones.

You fell back to your previous position at their thrones. Feyre poured a glass of wine for you herself, giving you a pleased smile. You were wonderful.

You drank, letting yourself cool down in the chilly air of the courtroom. Rhys asked for food to be brought out; on his command, tables filled with food appeared, but everyone waited for the inner circle to first take their places. You stood, waited for Rhys and Feyre to sit, then followed your friends. The table laid in front of the throne only had eight seats. You hid your confusion, looking to Cassian as he took his seat. He simply winked at you and gave a small smile. Then it dawned on you. Azriel’s temptress.

You’d be seated in his lap.

Sure enough, Azriel turned to you, silently summoning you over. You walked over and took your seat, sitting on his left thigh, your own thighs falling on either side of his leg. He was so large that even on his lap, you weren’t at his eye level. He brought his arm and lazily wrapped it around your hips. You kept your composure externally, though any bravado from before melted away internally. Though he was your best friend, though affection wasn’t rare between the two of you – hell, he even put your jewelry on you himself earlier – this was certainly new.

Once you’ve adjusted, you feel yourself relax into his chest. Only then does Azriel let his hand fall onto your leg. His hand is substantially warmer than your leg, and he notices this because you feel his shadows gently stroke up your legs in an attempt to warm you. You put your hand over his and squeeze it in silent thanks.

His right hand brought food to your mouth before you could protest. You move your coined veil with your free hand, opening your mouth. He places a grape in your mouth, fingers shamelessly grazing your lips as he did. You don’t stop him. He continues to feed you, and for a moment, you wonder if any element of the alleged masks were truly inhibitory, or if in reality all they did was allow the two of you to be more authentic with each other than you would otherwise dare. A tempting contradiction to mull over as you ate grapes directly off his fingers, relishing in the warmth of his body encapsulating you.  

You continued to eat, occasionally drinking wine between bites. Azriel’s hand resting on your thigh slowly makes its way up your leg, over your hip, and then drags across your abdomen. You sigh quietly at the sensation, only loud enough for him to hear. That sets Kier off. He leans over to a vizier. “He’s hand-feeding his harlot.”

Before you could even turn, you hear Kier sputter. Then you hear glass breaking. You begin to turn, but Azriel stops you by squeezing your waist. “Don’t,” he whispers. You turn to look at him.

You hold each other’s gaze, and he simply brings another grape up to your mouth, which you accept. The sputtering sound turns into outright gagging and coughing. Azriel is choking Kier, you realized. With his shadows. The rest of the court halts their eating to watch Kier struggle to breathe, clawing at his throat while Azriel keeps his eyes on you. Kier manages to wheeze out an apology. Only then do you hear him exhale in relief, breathing raggedly.

You don’t deign to look at Kier, but you do peer over to Rhys. He hadn’t objected to the punishment. “Ever the mouth breather,” he said simply. Everyone returned to their food at that.

You look back to Azriel who was still watching you. He drew lazy circles with his fingers on your abdomen. “It’s just you and me,” he murmured lowly in his baritone voice for only your ears to detect. You nodded once in agreement. Just you and me.

~

Back at the house, everyone was lounging on the couches in the living room, in no rush to get up after all the drinking. You’d removed the diadem upon arrival. “You did such a good job,” Mor praised you. You saluted your friend with two fingers. Everyone was tired at the late hour, but you were still buzzing with energy. Azriel was sitting next to you on your couch, an arm draped behind you on the couch. Whatever leash the two of you had kept on your friendship had been released tonight. Cassian lazily looks over at you and gives you a pointed smile. You just shrug and smile back.

Rhys praises the group on their good work, takes Feyre’s hand, and they head to their room. One by one, everyone follows suit. Cassian and Nesta, then the remaining females. Alone with Azriel, you turn to look at him. In the continuity of this evening, you found him already gazing at you. Sure enough, that hunger you noted in the court of nightmares was waiting for you in his eyes.

“Nice and ravenous,” you joked. He gave a relaxed smile, catching your echo of his earlier words.

“Indeed.” He held your gaze. “You did amazing,” he said more seriously.

“You helped me feel comfortable,” you told him. His hungry eyes burned into your own. You swallowed. “Maybe you can help me out of all these jewels.”

He didn’t so much as blink. “It would be my pleasure.” You get up off the couch and he does as well. You take his hand and lead him to your room.

You turned your faelight on, the rest of the room remaining dark. He came up behind you, placing his hands on your hips. He bent down and places a kiss on your exposed shoulders, trailing the kisses up towards your neck. You let yourself sag into his body, taking off your rings. His hands move up your sides, onto your arms. He repeats his earlier motion of grazing up your arms until he reaches your gold cuffs. He released them without raising his head. You took off your bracelets.

He circled to your front, holding your gaze, and he sank to his knees. Bringing his hands to your knees again, they slowly moved up your legs, cupping your thighs from behind, making you shiver. He reached for your thigh jewelry, unclasped it, and he bent forward to place a kiss where it had been. His hands continued their upward path, making their way to your hips once more. He leaned in closer, placing another kiss, this time on your belly. He pulled you closer to him by the hips, making you gasp as your back arched. He trailed more kisses up your abdomen. You put your hands in his hair, nails grazing his scalp.

He stood once more, making you peer up at him. You caught sight of his dilated pupils. He pulled you to him by the waist, bending forward once more to trail kisses up your neck. When he reached your jaw, your eyes were too heavy to keep open. He finally pressed his lips to yours feverishly kissing you.

He walked the two of you back towards your bed. To your dismay, he broke off the kiss, breathless. “You ate fruit off my fingers,” he rasped. You nodded, dazed. The backs of your knees hit your bed, making you fall back into it. Azriel simply sunk back onto his knees for the third time that night, grasping your knees, and pulling them apart. “I have every intention of also being fed.”

~

I drew inspiration from my culture w the implied bellydancing and attire. :)

taglist:

@iimisty-a​ @feyretopia​ @cityofidek​

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Kiss Thief

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Synopsis: Reader strikes bargain w Rhys; if she gives everyone in the IC a kiss, he’ll let her go on missions w Azriel. They’re both pining after each other but neither of them knows it. Azriel sees her being affectionate w the others and not him so he gets jealous. She shoots her shot. Slow burn. 

A/N: I’m still new to this and I’m tryna get used to second person pov but its v strange. The way I have absolutely no business writing sparring scenes but I tried my best LOL. Also, I absolutely and shamelessly indulged myself in making y/n kiss all the IC members bc I love them all sm so that became a plot device. As always I’d love to hear feedback. :)

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Azriel made his way into the kitchen where he found (Y/N) reaching up into the cabinet for a mug, raised on her tiptoes and still unable to reach the top shelf in the Illyrian accommodated kitchen. Azriel made a conscious effort to let his steps be heard as he walked in to avoid startling her, and she turned upon hearing him. She smiled shyly and Azriel smiled back. Cute. She stood there for another beat, unsure if she should resume the struggle in front of Azriel or give up. To avoid embarrassing her, Azriel strode up beside her and easily reached for the mug she was trying to get, happy for the opportunity to help and hopefully get in her good graces. She didn’t move from where she was standing, and when Azriel lowered his arm, he realized how close she was to him. She looked up at him with tentative patience, and he had to step back to clear his mind of the sense of endearment he felt creeping up on him. She took the mug and thanked him.

“Cassian puts all the mugs on the highest shelf,” she explained sheepishly. That quickly shattered the pleasant moment for Azriel, a cold sensation of jealousy shooting down his chest, but he didn’t give it away in his features. Instead, he forced himself to raise his brows in mock shock, tutting in disapproval for her and shaking his head lightly. She laughed and explained herself. “I always drink with his mugs, so he does this to mess with me. But I won’t be the one to yield.” He gave her another small smile despite the feeling inside.

Rhys then sauntered into the kitchen, saw the two of them, and smiled very widely at (Y/N). Azriel followed Rhys’s stare and found her sending a pointed look to the High Lord, eyes wide with silent implication. “Morning, sunshine,” he kept smiling. (Y/N) grumbled back a greeting and made for the exit, but Rhys’s loud laugh slowed her down. “Not so fast, sweet (Y/N),” he purred, and she turned. To Azriel’s horror shock, Rhys tapped on his cheek while still smiling cheekily at (Y/N). She glanced sidelong at Azriel with flushed cheeks, averted her gaze, and begrudgingly stomped towards her High Lord. He leaned down to give her access to his cheek. She placed a quick, chaste kiss on his cheek and stormed out hastily as Rhys’s loud laugh bellowed in the space. When she was gone, Azriel turned to Rhys in question. “She and I have a bargain,” was all Rhys said. Azriel knew better than to think anything of it, but he had a harder time suppressing that cold feeling of jealousy in his chest than he’d like to admit.

Cassian then walked in and headed for the mug cabinet. “Did that little shit take my mug again?” Azriel huffed out a breath and decided to leave before he received that bullshit juvenile feeling in his chest any more times within the same 30-minute span, so he left knowing Rhys was watching him with that cursed feline amusement.

~

Azriel went to the library to clear his mind after dinner. He was there for about an hour, enjoying the peace, when Nesta, Feyre, and Mor made their way inside. Feyre smiled warmly at Azriel, the others following suit. “Hope you don’t mind, Az. Nesta was just going to show us a book.”

Mor grinned. “It’s about this prince who loves to eat honeydew flavoured—” Nesta lightly smacked Mor, silencing her. Azriel chuckled lightly, all too familiar with the reading habits at hand.

“It was (Y/N)’s recommendation, actually,” Nesta said. Azriel’s heart stupidly skipped a beat. What a childish side this female was drawing out of him. As if she could read his mind, Feyre gave a slight coy smile, reminding Azriel of Rhys’s strange behaviour this morning. Well-matched busybody mates.

“What was my recommendation?” Shit. Azriel’s eyes flitted to Feyre in a silent bid to keep her conniving to herself. Her smile didn’t falter as (Y/N) stepped into the room, coming to stand by the other women.

“We were just telling Az about your book, the pining prince and his knee-trembling—”

“Thank you, Nesta,” (Y/N) cut off, blushing. The other females snickered and Azriel just watched, entertained.

Speaking of pining,” Feyre mused, “don’t you have a task to complete?” She smiled at (Y/N), who glanced at Az again, averted her gaze with a blush, and got closer to the women. She kissed Mor on her cheek, then Nesta who turned her head dramatically to give (Y/N) access, then Feyre. She looked at Az again before heading for the exit as the women laughed. Now Azriel’s curiosity was truly spiked. There’s some obvious scheming going on, but worse was his lack of awareness about what’s happening. Whatever this task was involved (Y/N) kissing everyone, which means she has to also kiss Cassian. Azriel hated that pang in his chest again, over something so immature, and especially to Cassian who he’s already felt this way towards regarding Mor in the past. It seems history would repeat, with Azriel being sidelined with his unrequited love, while Cassian got the attention Azriel craved. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He turned to his book to seem inconspicuous in front of the females, but he felt Feyre’s eye remain on him. Azriel didn’t register another sentence from his book and eventually had to give up and call it a night

~

The next morning, Azriel walks onto the rooftop sparring space. Feyre was going over technique with (Y/N) while Nesta and Cassian finished a round of sparring in the ring. “Alright (Y/N), you’re up.” Cassian beckoned her over. Azriel took a deep breath. Today would be different, he thought. No more juvenile chest pangs, no more feelings of inadequacy at the hands of his brother. He would watch and not feel. (Y/N) and Cass began, Cassian striking first and (Y/N) dodging. They moved around each other fluidly, though she didn’t land a hit on Cassian until a while into it. She huffed in frustration as he easily dodged her swings and Cassian laughed, kicking her feet out from under her. She rose and swung her left arm in a wide arc, which Cassian easily blocked, only for her to punch directly up his nose with her right. He staggered back, grinning as blood began trickling out of his nose, and (Y/N) used the opportunity to kick him in the stomach. Cassian called time, praising (Y/N) who grinned widely at Cassian.

As the two of them walked to the end of the sparring ring, Cassian took a swig of water, swished, and spat out a bloodied mouthful, to which (Y/N) winced. “Sorry Cass,” she said sheepishly. She took out a handkerchief and pressed it to his nose with one hand while pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. Cassian let her, leaning down to make it easier for her, and Azriel seethed on the inside. To make matters worse, (Y/N) let Cassian hold the handkerchief, took his other hand in both of hers and kissed it tenderly. Azriel absolutely fumed, keeping his arms crossed to hide his clenching fists. Cassian caught Azriel’s piercing stare, and despite Azriel’s neutralized expression, Cassian’s eyes glinted, knowing his brother too well to fall for the feigned apathy. “You and I can blow off some steam next if you’d like,” he wiggled his brows at Az. Azriel dipped his head once in affirmation, making Cassian laugh.

The two warriors entered the sparring ring, all the females now gathering along the sides to watch. Azriel was well aware of (Y/N)’s gaze focussing on him. He and Cass circled each other for a few beats, knowing each other’s moves all too well after centuries of fighting alongside each other. Azriel finally lunges at Cassian who easily ducks. Cassian kicks Azriel in the thigh, to which Azriel turns his body and swings his fist towards Cassian’s face, hitting him right where (Y/N) had already made him bleed. He hears Feyre hiss behind him, knowing that was a cheap shot, but Azriel didn’t care. Azriel doubles down by swinging several right and left hooks, all of them going over Cassian’s shoulders as he dodged them, Azriel’s nostrils flaring in frustration. Cassian blocks a particularly hard right hook with his left, and kicks Azriel backwards hard enough to knock him on his back. Azriel gets up, dizzy, and tries to retaliate.

The sparring continues, both getting bloodier. Despite his best efforts, Azriel couldn’t help but feel a glint of satisfaction whenever he landed blows on Cassian, Cassian’s nose pouring blood at this point. Azriel straddled Cassian’s waist, ready to give the final blow, when Cassian managed to wrap his leg around Azriel’s waist from behind, swinging Azriel off of him. Cassian punches him hard on the side of his face with a sickening sound, then once more up the nose, giving Azriel a matching nosebleed as Azriel landed on the ground of the ring, too dizzy to rise. Before he could continue sparring, Feyre called time. Azriel rises, feeling defeated beyond the confines of the match, angry at himself for letting his jealousy fuel his sparring, angry that Cassian and Feyre likely caught on. But what made him angriest of all was the thought of (Y/N) patching Cassian up now that he was even bloodier than before, so he didn’t stick around to find out. Azriel grumbled something to Feyre as he passed about cleaning up his nose, and went to his room.

~

Azriel leaned against the counter of his washroom, taking deep breaths. He’s never been the jealous type, never been so reactionary. Even with Mor, he didn’t let it drive a wedge between him and his brothers. But something about this girl just made him feel so young, like this was new to him, like it was beyond his control. He was letting himself have this moment of silence to gather himself, his bloodied nose still dripping down his face in the process. He then heard a knock on the door. Feyre, he thought to himself. He walked over despite his shirtless, bloodied state, and swung the door open for her. Except it wasn’t Feyre on the other side. It was her.

She stood there wringing her hands together, looked at Azriel, then at her feet abashedly after taking in his state. Azriel didn’t know whether to apologize or not. “I didn’t—did Feyre send you?”

At that, she looked up at him. “No, she… she was coming to see if you were okay, but I asked her if I could come instead.” Huh. Azriel couldn’t help the blank look he gave, nor the warmth spreading in his chest. A nice change of pace compared to the frigid intrusion of jealousy he’s been having these past few days. They continued to stand before each other somewhat awkwardly until Azriel stepped aside and gestured for (Y/N) to come into his washroom. She walked in, narrowly brushing past his warm chest, and he followed her once she was inside.

The bathroom suddenly felt like a small space. (Y/N) made her way in, found a clean rag, rinsed it with warm water, and rung it out. She turned to Azriel who was watching her near the door. She smiled tentatively, took a deep breath, and walked over to where he stood. She gently took his hand in hers and tugged him to the juncture between the counter and bathtub, which Azriel allowed without a single complaint. He sat there, and she reached forward and began wiping at the blood that had trickled down to his chest. “So, was there a reason you and Cass went so hard today?”

Azriel chuckled. “Sometimes he just needs to get his ass handed to him.”

“I’m not so sure it was him that got his ass handed to him.”

“Ouch,” Azriel laughed. “Is my ego not wounded enough for you?”

She smiled, still focusing on his chest. “Maybe we gotta knock you down a few notches, bring you down to our level.”  

Azriel laughed, not used to her being so outspoken around him. She took a step forward where she now stood between his legs, then rested her free hand on his shoulder for support. She looked at Azriel in silent question, and he smiled in permission. That feeling of warmth in his chest expanded. He watched her face while she focused on the rag, but when her cheeks turned red under the weight of his gaze, he averted it; he didn’t want to lose the sense of comfort between them in this moment. The kind of comfort she shows around the others. Speaking of the others— “(Y/N),” he began.

“Azriel,” she said back. He laughed before continuing.

“What’s the… um, you’ve been going around… kissing everyone?”

At that she stopped her cleaning, looking up at him with widened eyes. Then at her hands. “I… well, you see, there’s this bargain I made with Rhys.” She trailed off, looking back at his eyes, and he patiently waited for her to continue with a small nod of encouragement. “The deal is that if I successfully kiss everyone before the end of this week, he’s gonna pair us up for the next few missions.” She was avoiding his eye now, which is good because Azriel couldn’t hide the shock on his face.

“Why is Rhys putting you up to this?” he began.

She smiled then, still looking at her hands. “Rhys didn’t put me up to it, I asked him to.” She looked up tentatively. Azriel felt his heart skip a beat, but he was still processing this.

“You wanted to kiss everyone?”

“No, I wanted to go on the next few missions with you.” She laughed openly now, realizing he was messing with her and pinched his shoulder, to which he laughed as well.

“Why didn’t you just ask me to take you?” he said gently.

“Because Az, you’re just—you seem more comfortable around the others than you are with me. I feel like I can’t get close to you the same way.” He resisted the urge to gape upon hearing that, instead tipping his head back slightly and laughing freely. She furrowed her brows in confusion. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because, that’s how I’ve been feeling about you,” he let out. “I thought you were uncomfortable around me, or maybe that you disliked me—”

“No, Az. That’s not the case at all,” she shook her head fervently, brows still furrowed, now in distress.

“So, you wanted Rhys to assign us on a mission together, in hopes of what?” he smiled.

“Well, I was hoping the close proximity would help you warm up to me with the interactions we’d inevitably have.” Azriel couldn’t believe his ears.

“And Rhys agreed to this on the condition that you… kiss everyone?” Azriel was just having fun with this at this point.

“Well, the condition is that I kiss you, but that would be too obvious, so he made it everyone.”

“What an interesting condition,” Azriel mused.

“’Cuz Rhys is aggravating, and he’s entertained by my feelings.” She rolled her eyes.

“What feelings?” Azriel teased, though his heart rate sped up.

Her eyes widened at the slip of her tongue. “Just… the feeling of wanting to be close to you like the others.” Very poor attempt at recovery. He gave her a look that conveyed that, causing her to huff and continue. “I may or may not have gotten tipsy a few weeks ago and admitted to Rhys that I was… feeling this way, which he’s been having a hoot about since. Him and the others.”  

“Awww,” Azriel cooed, smiling. She peered up at him again and then back down. “So you went through all this scheming with Rhys and kissing everyone when you could’ve just asked me to take you on my next mission?”

“Azriel, you make me kinda nervous,” she said in a small voice.

He didn’t expect such a vulnerable admission. “I’m sorry,” he said, feeling a bit guilty about the teasing. He took her hands in his and raised them to his lips where he placed a kiss on the back of each hand.

She rolled her left sleeve up, showing him the bargain tattoo on her arm, which had multiple stars forming a constellation. “Each star is a completed kiss. I got one left.” He looked back at her face, which had a suggestive feel to it.

“I’d hate to waste all your hard work this week,” he said. “Especially a task as sickening as having to kiss Cassian.”

“I’m not kissing your bloody face,” she laughed.

“Why not? This is your doing,” he teased.  

“What?” she laughed in confusion.

He smiled. “Nothing. Now, are we gonna wait till all this blood dries down or are we gonna get on with it?”

“So moody, Shadowsinger.” She tsked. She went back to wiping away the blood, moved on to his face, which she thoroughly enjoyed fretting on. She took her time, the bleeding having stopped with the speedier Illyrian healing. She cradled his face with her left hand while the right one wiped away the blood, and Azriel couldn’t help but enjoy the care he was receiving at her hands at that moment. When she was done, she lowered her hands to his shoulders but didn’t step away. “There,” she said.

“There,” he echoed. Azriel maintained a neutral face and lifted his hand to tap on his cheek, making her laugh at his feigned seriousness.

“So greedy,” she said. She took his face in her hands and leaned forward. She placed a slow kiss on his right cheek, then his left. Then on his forehead. Then a lingering one on the side of his mouth. Then another, capturing part of his lips this time. He simply sat patiently, savouring the attention, the feel of her soft lips pressing so carefully into him each time. He marvelled at how gently she treated him, both in her hold and her kisses. It shattered the guard around his heart, made his eyes feel heavy and his shoulders feel light. Then, finally, she placed an achingly slow, innocent kiss on the centre of his mouth, just as softly as her others had been. She pressed and he didn’t push her for more, simply taking in the moment, though he felt his fingertips twitch where they rested on his knees. When she finally began pulling away, Azriel let himself loose the reigns he had on his self-control, finally lifting his hands to her hold her waist. He pulled her back into him and kissed her deeply until she was bending backwards from the weight of it, Azriel leaning forward. He pulled away and she gasped an inhale. Azriel held himself back from stealing another kiss, feeling just as breathless as she was. They stared at each other for a moment as they breathed, feeling somewhat dazed, but profoundly relieved. She then looked down to her arm that was resting on his shoulder, and he followed her gaze to her bargain tattoo, which had completed the constellation. Azriel takes her arm and bends forward to place a kiss where the tattoo began fading from her skin.

“I had to watch you shower everyone with your affection all week,” He said to her, his voice rough. She nodded. “I felt very left out.”

“Have I not made it up to you yet?”

“Mmm, I don’t think so, no,” the side of his lips twitched up.

“Alright, how can I make it up to you, Az?”

“Hm… for every kiss you gave the others, I would like to be matched one.”

“Deal,” she smiled.

“Also, as far as proximity goes, you’ll have to let me take you out. Tonight.”

She wrapped her hands around his neck, leaned in for one final press of his lips. “It’s a bargain.”

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

🩷🩷🩷

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Pawn for Pawn

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 2.6k

Synopsis: Reader just arrived at Velaris w Feyre. She feels burdensome and broke, so she pawns off her jewelry for money. Azriel finds out about this and intervenes to get her jewelry back.  

AN: I’m v new to this and I would love to receive feedback / criticism.

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Being new to Velaris was a far more pleasant experience than I anticipated. I’ve come here recently with Feyre and Lucien when the Illyrian warriors rescued us from Lucien’s brothers in Autumn court. Feyre is one of my closest friends, even more dear to me now since I’ve tasted the bitterness of missing her while she went to break Amarantha’s curse Under the Mountain. We’ve only been here a day now, all of it happening so quickly that I’ve still been processing it. All I remember was fighting off Lucien’s brothers one minute, then being carried off by an intimidatingly handsome warrior with glowing blue siphons the next. I had clung to him for dear life as we shot across the sky, not letting up my hold around his neck until he gently informed me that we had landed, and I was safe now. I remember looking at him in shock to realize we were on solid ground, but he held nothing in his eyes but patience and kindness despite my disorientation. Rhysand, Feyre’s mate, had been kind enough to accommodate us all since then, and it was a matter of adjusting myself to this new court and Feyre’s friends.

“[Y/N], you’ve barely touched your food,” the beautiful blonde named Mor smiled kindly, pulling me out of my thoughts. We were all having dinner at the House of Wind, but my thoughts preoccupied me. This has been the case since we landed here yesterday, something about the way the warrior had regarded me with such patience and attentiveness had me replaying the memory over and over in my mind. Azriel. I looked over to find him observing me, and I averted my gaze as if he could read my mind and find himself at the forefront of my distracted thoughts. “I hope you’re not having a hard time with the adjustment,” Mor continued. I would follow Feyre to the ends of the earth if I had to, and nothing could rival how hard it was to be separated from her.

“No, it’s been good actually, Velaris is absolutely beautiful.” I smiled back reassuringly. That was the truth, the city of starlight indeed. I can see why Feyre was so much more relaxed and contented here compared to Spring. “Thank you all for being so accommodating and kind,” I said shyly but genuinely. And what a difference in government, indeed. The relaxed, organic leadership of this High Lord certainly made him pleasant, to say the least. It didn’t hurt that he and his brothers looked like they were hand-sculpted by the Creator either. I saw Rhys’s mouth twitch into a small smile then, and I blushed knowing he likely heard that thought.

“Feyre told us lots about you before, we’re happy to have you here this time around.” The red-siphoned warrior, Cassian, said. They were all charming, though I suspected that this accommodation had a lot to do with my friendship with Feyre. Part of me wondered how long I had before I had to find my sense of security, both in gathering my wits about myself as well as financially. The last thing I’d want is for any of these friends of Feyre’s to feel burdened by my presence here. 

When we left with Feyre, it was a very last-minute decision, and we had nothing with us but the clothes on our backs. I had come up with a plan since then to get back on my feet. I was going to find a pawn shop nearby and sell the jewelry I had on me to at least have some of my own money for now, not wanting to ask Feyre or her friends for any more than they’ve provided me with. As I replayed the plan in my mind, I examined the few rings I had on my fingers and absent-mindedly touched my necklace. 

I looked up and caught Azriel’s gaze once again as he thoughtfully studied me. The way he often looked at me made me wonder if he had the same Daemati powers as his High Lord. Actually, I wondered quite a bit more about him than I cared to admit. During these two days, one would think that there would be more pressing matters on my mind, all things considered; instead, I would keep going back to the feeling of being held in his arms again and again. How easy it was for him to support me, his body heat, his large hands… I shook my head and deigned to glance at Rhys, hoping he didn’t know I’m being so girlishly distracted by his Spymaster not even a day into my stay. He gave nothing away, but I knew better.

After dinner, I found Cerridwen in the kitchen, trusting that as a non-IC member, she would perhaps grant me some discretion. “I was wondering if you knew of any pawn shops nearby that I could go to tomorrow?” I kept my voice down. She smiled at me and gave me directions to one near the town square. 

~

The next day, I set about my plan, spending much of the morning making my way there. When I made it to the shop, I took the jewelry I could bear to part with off and traded it for a handsome sum of gold coins. I tried not to think about it, being attached to much of my jewelry. There were more pressing matters at hand. I didn’t know if Rhys held Tithes here the way they did in Spring, and I would never want to be unprepared like that, especially after his generosity. Upon exiting the pawnshop, I began making my way back. I was stopped suddenly by an elder Fae male, he looked downtrodden.

“Excuse me, miss. Sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if you had some coins to spare. I need to support my granddaughter if you may.” He spoke softly, not wanting to draw attention to himself. My heart ached a bit at that. I thought of my beloved jewelry and how I had just parted with it for this new coin of mine, but also thought of why I felt the need to obtain it in the first place. This male clearly needed it more than me. I smiled at him, opening the purse, and handing him a handful of gold coins. He thanked me profusely and I bid him farewell.

~

Hours after dinner, I was in the library reading a book, still giving Feyre space to reunite with her family. Truthfully, I also felt a bit out of place here, but I was sure that would pass. I started a little when I heard a male clear his throat. I looked up to find Azriel at the doorway, making his presence known. I quickly sat up and closed my book.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he began making his way over, his shadows following suit in the space. I held his gaze, curious. “Do you mind if I join you?” He asked gently, his voice incredibly deep and smooth. I nodded shyly and he offered a smile in return. He sat in the armchair across from me. I hope Rhys didn’t tell him about my little crush on him, though Azriel’s noticeable perceptiveness probably diminished any need to hear Rhys’s input on the matter. I schooled my features, not knowing where this could possibly go.

“I didn’t get the chance to say thank you for rescuing us back there,” I began. His gaze was thoughtful, and he looked down smiling.

“Oh, no problem, don’t mention it.” I didn’t quite know what else to say, noticing a slight tension in the atmosphere between us now that neither of us spoke. I looked at him expectantly, waiting.

“Is… was there something you needed from me?” I said softly. Damn. Conversation was not usually uneasy for me, but there was just something different with him. Different compared to Mor and Cassian in the brief time I’ve known Feyre’s friends. He cleared his throat again.

“Yes, I have something of yours.” I didn’t know what I was expecting to hear, but it wasn’t that.

“Oh.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at me again. “As you know, I’m the spymaster here. You know the female you spoke to in the kitchen today?”

“Cerridwen?”

“Yes, well she’s one of my spies.” Here I was thinking I chose an external source to help me out.

“Was I… not supposed to speak with her?” I wasn’t sure what he was getting at, but this felt weirdly confrontational.

“No, nothing like that,” he reassured. Though I was still confused, I couldn’t deny how he managed to keep his presence comfortable. His tone stayed gentle, which contrasted his otherwise hulking figure and sharp features. “She informed me that you were going to the pawnshop in the town square.” He paused and I nodded in confirmation. “I was curious about why you did that, so I had one of my other spies approach you. That older fae male? He works for me.” He continued to look at me to gauge my reaction. My brows rose in surprise, but I waited for him to continue. “You see, I just wanted him to possibly find out why you were pawning off your jewelry so soon after arriving, especially without telling anyone of your plans, but instead of telling him why you couldn’t give him any coin, you gave him 23 gold pieces.” I felt my cheeks warm, feeling exposed. Azriel smiled deeply and reached into his pocket. “Here’s your money.” He handed me a pouch full of coins that I took from him.

“Thank you,” I said, still feeling a bit tentative.

He nodded but continued. “So, why exactly were you pawning off your jewelry?”

“I just didn’t know how long I had until… well, I don’t know what’s going to happen, you know, with where I’m going to stay and all that,” I tucked some hair behind my ear. I figured truth was the best course of action, especially because he was being direct with his inquiry. “You’ve all been very kind, but I didn’t want to be a burden or anything.” To my surprise, his brows raised in shock.

“[Y/N],” he began. My heart stupidly skipped a beat at hearing him say my name for the first time. He smiled again. “What could possibly have given you the impression that you’d be burdensome?” I shifted a bit in my seat, not knowing how to respond.

“It’s just precautionary,” I offered weakly. He shook his head, still smiling. He was terribly handsome in his resting state, but he absolutely glowed with beauty as he smiled. So different from the seriousness he showed during meals. I felt something pulse in my chest.

“You don’t have to worry about anything like that while you’re here, I promise you that. Any friend of Feyre’s is a friend of mine.” Mine. Not ours. Interesting word choice. I liked how certain he sounded, as well as his kind smile as he gave me the chance to take him up on that offer.

I smiled back, relaxing at the idea of it. “That would be nice,” I said honestly.

“How did you like the city?”

“It’s very beautiful, though that walk to the town square was no joke.” The thousand steps had left me winded, to say the least. He laughed openly at that, relaxing back into his seat.

“Did your legs cramp on your way up?” His eyes twinkled.

“Yes, but worse than leg cramps is this weird feeling in my chest,” I told him, absently rubbing the spot above my heart. His smile faded a bit, but the light remained in his eyes.

“What kind of feeling?” He asked softly, eyes tracking my hand above my heart.

“I don’t know, it felt like a pinch… like a weird snap, I guess. You’d think it would be gone by now.” Especially since the cramping in my legs went away hours ago. He continued to study me.

“This began during your ascension?”

“Well, it began during our flight here from Autumn actually, but I didn’t think much of it, you know, given the ambush and all.” He continued to study me, though I didn’t mind feeling his gaze on me. It wasn’t scrutinizing; I just felt seen.

“Interesting,” he said softly, and I nodded. “Well,” he said, with a slight shake of his head, “next time you want to pawn off your valuables, let me know. I know a thing or two about where to go.”

“I should hope so, what with your big fancy bedazzled hands and chest,” I smiled sweetly, testing the waters. He was taken aback for a second before he laughed loudly.

“Guess I can’t argue there.”

“I might take you up on the opportunity though, not for pawning but to avoid the stairs,” I said, gesturing to his wings.

“It would be my pleasure. I can show you the city if you’d like,” he offered.

“If you wanted to show me the city, you could’ve just asked, you know. There was no need to orchestrate a third-party intervention.” I shook the pouch of coins dramatically. He tipped his head back slightly and laughed again, and I savoured the sweetness of the exchange. The boldness came more naturally to me than usual, but he seemed to like it. Blush coloured my cheeks once more.

“You’re right. And to make it up to you for all my scheming, there’s one more thing I can offer you.” He reached into his pocket again and pulled out another pouch and handed it to me, our fingers brushing as I took it from him. He sat back in his seat and continued to watch me as I opened the pouch and dumped the contents of it into my other hand, and couldn’t withhold my shocked gasp as my jewelry tumbled out. The jewelry I pawned off today. I look up at him without hiding my shock, at a loss for words. He just smiled again.

“Azriel,” I breathed. “How—I didn’t… You got this back?” I began reaching for the pouch of gold I had to give him, but he immediately reached over and covered my hand with his before I could extend it. His hand was as warm and gentle as it had been when he got us from Autumn. I stilled.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t want you going and giving away your stuff like that. Besides, if you don’t have your jewels, who’s going to match with me?” he tapped at his siphons.

“Azriel, let me repay you for this,” I began again. He shook his head smiling.

“Maybe I’ll let you make it up to me eventually, but no, I don’t want the money.” I shook my head, not knowing what Feyre would think of this. “Just this once,” he offered. “Trust me, I’m being generously compensated for this by our dear High Lord.”

“Azriel, I can’t.”

“Alright, I’ll think about it. On one condition.” I looked at him expectantly. I didn’t think the mighty warrior who slammed into the ice in Autumn would have such a mischievous spirit, such light in his eyes. “You’ll have to humour me and take me up on the offer to see Velaris.”

He was certainly charming, I’ll give him that. I guess that couldn’t hurt. I pretended to contemplate the decision at hand, making a show of furrowing my brows and tapping my foot. “Alright, I’ll have to allow it then.”

He let out a sarcastic exhale. “Fine.”

“Fine,” I bit back. He chuckled again, getting up from his seat.

“Then I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, merchant.”

I laughed again. “See you, Shadowsinger.”  

Part 2

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Butt Of The Joke - Azriel x Reader

Summary: Reader has been secretly smitten by Azriel for a while. She met him after becoming friends with Nesta and joining the Valkyries for training. After struggling with the thought of coming clean about her feelings for the spymaster, she overhears a conversation that breaks her heart.

Warnings: ANGST, fluffy ending, light swearing

Word count: 2.177  

Training was harder than usual this morning, your concentration failed you more than once and you felt the punishment for it in your aching muscles. “What’s wrong with you today?” Nesta asked after you stumbled backwards and fell harshly on your behind. She reached out her hand and tugged you back up on your feet. “I don’t know, I’m just so tired lately.” you sighed. Your friend gave you an understanding look.

“You should tell him, y/n.” She simply stated, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. You grunted and turned around to leave the training ring. “I can’t.” Nesta followed you, determined as always. “Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?” Your body swung around so vastly, the slender female trailing you almost crashed into it.

“What’s the worst that could happen? Well, let me think, Nesta: He could laugh in my face, ‘cause he’s ridiculously handsome and I am, well…” your hands moved up and down your form to emphasize flaws that nobody but you saw in the first place, then continued “the friendship could end right then and there, ‘cause he doesn’t return the feelings and I would be so mortified I couldn’t even bear looking at him anymore. Honestly Nesta, best case would be him taking me out on a single date out of pity, and you know it.” 

You didn’t even notice the tears that started forming during your outburst.

“All of that is crazy. You might be too blinded, but I can see the way Azriel is looking at you. Everybody sees it, but you. You should tell him.”

And with that she marched right by you, back into the house. You stood for just a moment longer on the training grounds, letting the cool breeze caress your sweaty skin.

While you were showering, your thoughts brought you back to the day you met the beautiful spymaster. You’d just arrived in Velaris. Sent from the Winter Court to study here, you were stunned by the city of starlight and its libraries, packed with so much knowledge. Nothing compared; except for him. 

He walked past the desk you sat at, a huge book in front of you. Your eyes shot up and he gave you a smirk you’ll never forget. The moment still sent chills down your spine whenever it replayed in your head. Eventually you met Nesta during a particularly long night of studying and it didn’t take long for the two of you to become good friends. You’d already stayed in Velaris much longer than planned when she invited you to train with the Valkyries and although it took some convincing, you were glad you did. Winter Court was your home, but you couldn’t imagine leaving, at least for now.

Nesta had invited you and the other Valkyries for dinner with the inner circle and when you were out of the shower, you picked a pretty but rather inconspicuous dress fit for the Night Court.

You knew Azriel would be there as well tonight. After the talk with Nesta during training, the thought of telling him about your feelings had grown from an absurd one, to something you might actually do. Maybe, just maybe, he could feel the same?

On your way to the River House you swore it yourself; if the moment presented itself, you’d do it tonight. You’d tell him. 

Nesta greeted you with a warm hug when you arrived and led you to the sitting room. Immidiately your eyes searched for Azriel and when they suddenly found him, he gave you a soft smile that ignited your insides. You can do it. You tried cheering yourself on and just in time to calm your nerves, Emerie appeared next to you with a glass of wine.

“Thanks.” you said and quickly took a sip.

“I think I’ll do it tonight, Em.” She knew what you meant and obviously had to try not to seem too excited. She was just about to say something when Nesta came to a halt on your other side.

“She’ll do it tonight!” Emerie whispered to her.

“What?!” Nesta held on to your forearm.

“Would you please calm down, both of you?!” You tried to quiet them down, when Gwyn approached your group. “What’s going on?” she asked and before Nesta and Emerie could expose you in front of the entire inner circle, you rolled your eyes and walked off.

Dinner was good. The food was amazing, but your nerves made it impossible for you to thoroughly enjoy the meal. Whenever you nervously looked around the table you could have sworn Azriel’s eyes were on you. Or maybe it was all in your head. Maybe all of this was in your head. Were you really ready to make a fool of yourself? The thought of him knowing of your feelings and the way he’d probably try to be extra careful when telling you he’s not interested suffocated you. You barely made it to the end of dinner when you had to excuse yourself and you sped walked to one of the bathrooms. 

You held onto the sink with both hands, trying to slow down your breathing, trying desperately not to throw up all over the expensive marble tiles, when a gentle knock sounded at the door.

“Are you alright?” Azriel asked, voice scratchy and dark. Your whole body tensed and the panic you just tried to contain started to rise again, threatening to drown you.

“I-I’m fine, Az. I’ll be right out.”

“You seemed really distressed, are you sure I can’t help?”

The irony of the situation made you chuckle, but all that came out was a desperate sounding noise. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” A few seconds of silence, then he said “Alright, just… let me know if you need anything.” And before you could reply his footsteps sounded down the hallway and a breath of relief escaped your trembling body.

When you felt stable enough to join the others, Nesta was standing next to the bathroom, waiting. She didn’t ask, just pulled you into her and held you for a moment.

“I wasn’t trying to pressure you this morning. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.” She said into your hair and you couldn’t do anything but nod.

“Although, I might have just seen him and Cass go outside and I might have told Cass to leave when he sees you come out as well.”

You pushed away from her with wide eyes. “Why would you do that?!” 

“Because you need to tell him, y/n! You’ve been a ghost lately, you don’t want to do anything anymore. You’re heartbroken before ever even talking to him about it. You can’t continue like this, please.” Her hand wrapped around yours and you didn’t have it in you to fight any longer. So you let go and turned around, starting towards the gardens.

The smell of freshly mowed grass hit your nostrils when you stepped outside and the vivid colors of the flowers still shined brightly, regardless of the dark starry night above. The High Lady had done an exquisite job decorating everything with little lights, everytime you stepped out here it took your breath away. 

You composed yourself one more time before rounding a corner and looking around to find Azriel and Cassian, but you heard them before seeing them.

Following the far away chatter, you finally noticed them standing next to a big lilac tree, fully blooming. The two illyrians didn’t seem to notice you, halfway covered by the tree, when you approached further. Their voices became more audible and your heart pounded so roughly in your chest it almost hurt. You were just about to indicate your presence to them, when you heard Azriel speak. “Me and y/n?” He scoffed, “don’t be ridiculous, Cass. That’s not going to happen.” 

Involuntarily you gasped. There was no holding it back. Cassian's eyes widened when he saw you and Azriel, who had his back turned towards you whipped around in an instant.

Then you ran. Away from them, out of the gardens, anywhere but here. “Fuck.” was the last thing you heard before your feet carried you elsewhere. 

When you burst into the door to the back entrance of the River House, everybody spun around to look at the source of the commotion. You didn’t care. Azriel was trying to catch up with you as you made your way through the house, hellbent to make it out of there as fast as possible. Nesta tried holding onto you while you passed her, but you pulled your arm away from her before she could grip it. You almost made it to the massive front door, when he was finally close enough for you to hear him.

“Y/n, wait, let me explain…” He began, but you wouldn’t let him. Everything had turned out exactly as you suspected. Even worse, he made fun of you. Idiotic, that’s how you felt. Like you were only good enough for their amusement.

“I beg of you, let me just explain.” He tried again. Your cheeks were wet and tear stained as you turned around to face him.

“Explain what? That I’m the butt of the joke? Is it that heinous, that I was hoping that there could be something between me and you? Is the thought of us together that ridiculous to you, Azriel?” The way you spat the words at him visibly made him flinch and you didn’t even want the answer to the questions you’d just asked, so you reached for the doorknob.

“No, no, no, please, that’s not what I meant!” He held onto your wrist, walked in front of you frantically and held your crying face in both of his hands. Azriel’s breathing was heavy and panic was written all over his features. 

“Then what did you mean?”

He didn’t let go of you, his hands were cold and the usually deadly calm shadowsinger trembled slightly.

“It did seem ridiculous to me…” He began and you started pulling away again, but he held you in place. “But not because of you. Because of me, y/n.”

Now it was your turn to scoff. Your hands wrapped around his wrists tightly in an attempt to get his hands off of your face. He brushed your tears away with his thumbs and continued “I just… didn’t think you’d ever be interested in me. You’re so… delicate and beautiful and gods, you are so smart. Meanwhile, I can’t even get a full sentence out whenever I see you.”

Confusion laced your expression.

“Believe it or not, but I’ve been trying for weeks to find the right moment to tell you how I was feeling. I was just so scared that…” He paused, inhaling a long breath and the confusion in your head faded into realization. You let go of Azriel’s wrists, gripped his upper arms and pulled him into you while pushing yourself up on your toes to reach his mouth. Your lips caught his and both of your bodies relaxed instantly. The wary kiss got bolder by the second and just as you were about to let your tongues wander deeper, you heard Cass behind you “Oh by the mother, finally! Nesta!” 

But before the sweet moment between you could turn into a show, Az pulled you out of the front door and together you shot into the night sky.

Azriel placed you back onto your feet after landing on a quiet spot next to the Sidra. You almost lost your balance, from the flight or the nerves, maybe both, you didn’t know.

He gently caressed your flushed face, staring at you. “What?” you asked, a smile sounding from your voice.

“Nothing, I just… can’t believe we’ve both been feeling this way and just didn’t say anything.” He said and bent over slightly beginning to place soft kisses, starting from your jawline down your neck. A moan escaped your lips and you felt Azriel’s mouth turn into a devilish grin as he continued kissing you. “Wait.” You demanded cautiously and he stopped. “Everything okay?” He asked and his hands held you steady by your hips. You cleared your throat before speaking again. “What’s going to happen now, with us, I mean?” He bit his lip and examined you closely. 

“I’m going to take you to your apartment, hope for you to invite me in and then I’ll rip off your…” you hit his shoulder jokingly and rolled your eyes. He pulled you closer into his muscular chest and you flung your arms around his back, embracing the strong male tightly. When you looked up into his handsome face, his stare was already on you. 

“I’m serious about this- us. I don’t want to waste anymore time not being with you, if you let me.”

That was all the reassurance you needed. Your mouths landed on each other again and Azriel didn’t even interrupt the kiss when he lifted you off the floor and flew straight to your apartment, hoping to be invited in.

I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future fics! 🖤✨

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 2.8k

Synopsis: Azriel and Reader mutually pine for each other, toeing the line from friends to lovers. The IC tricks them into admitting their feelings by making them jealous. He confesses his feelings when he mistakenly thinks she’s drunk.

A/N: Part 2 to Starry Eyes but can be read alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You reached across your bed, seeking the warmth of a certain Spymaster, but your fingers were met with cold sheets. You frowned, opening your bleary eyes to confirm the emptiness you felt in your bed, mirroring the emptiness in your heart. He didn’t stay. You bit back your disappointment.

Making your way into the kitchen, you found your culprit seated at the breakfast table. You peered at him timidly, wondering how to interact naturally after such closeness displayed the night before. Azriel smiled warmly at you as you approached the table.

“Morning,” he said, passing you a mug of coffee. Of course he looked put together despite the partying last night, not a single hair out of place. Prick.

You accepted the coffee, sitting adjacent to him. “Hi Az. I, uh, I’m sorry about last night.” Your eyes flitted to the table. “It’s just… easy to let my guard down – um, you know, and the drinking.” You started fidgeting. “You know, they say drunk words are sober thoughts, but that’s just absurd. Isn’t it?” When he didn’t respond, you looked up, finding him smiling fondly. You frowned in confusion. “What?”

“You’re adorable.”

Taken aback, your cheeks heated. “Oh, I didn’t – I wasn’t –” you cut yourself off and glared at him. Azriel just laughed at your fluster.

You needed to change the subject. “Are you not hungover?”

He was still smiling, which you chose to ignore. “No. I have a high tolerance for alcohol.”

“Are you saying I don’t?”

His eyes twinkled. “You could hardly keep your eyes open last night.”

You smiled despite his teasing. “Hey, it was your job to make sure I stayed awake, and look where that got us.”

His eyes narrowed playfully. “Yeah? Where did that get us.”

“Nowhere, because you didn’t sleep with me.” You stiffened. It was Azriel’s turn to blush, eyes widening. “Oh,” you added quickly. “I meant sleep. Like sleep sleep. Not, you know –”

Azriel started laughing again, louder this time, watching you dig yourself into a hole.

You huffed in frustration. “Forget I said anything.”

His smile endured. “I’ll think on it.”

This was not going as planned. You changed the subject yet again. “Are you doing anything today?”

You wished you could come off as unbothered as he did, not the stumbling mess you felt inside. But Azriel still held his easy smile, like he didn’t mind. “Yes. I have a mission in Summer. I’m meeting with Cressida. Soon, actually.”

You hated the lurch in your heart. You had no claim on Azriel, no true justification to feel jealous. “Oh.” You frowned slightly into your coffee.

“Ready to go, Az?” you heard Cassian call from the foyer.

Azriel stood, downing his remaining coffee. “Yeah, I’ll be right there,” he answered.

You bit your lip, ignoring the longing you felt in your heart sparked by his looming departure. To your shock, Azriel walked over to where you sat instead of the exit. You craned your neck to look up at him, wide-eyed and curious. Azriel brought his hand to your cheek, gently cradling the side of your face. You were frozen, watching him. His thumb stroked across your cheekbone once, then rested there for a beat. “You had leftover stardust,” he murmured.

He pulled his hand back to show you. You instinctively cradled his hand, finding his thumb was indeed covered in an iridescent glow from last night’s Starfall. You distractedly reached with your hand to touch your cheek where he’d caressed you, looking back up at him. Something intense flared in his eyes. He swallowed, then gently pulled his hand out of yours, dropping it to his side. He gave you a farewell nod and exited the kitchen. You remained frozen in your spot long after the Illyrians left, trying to clear the haze from your mind and the pounding from your heart.

You were in deep shit.

~

It was late in the evening when your friends gathered in the House. Unsurprisingly, requests to go to Rita’s started bouncing around hours ago, leading you to where you were now, seated at the table watching Mor dance. You’d told yourself earlier that this would be a good distraction from your incessant thoughts of a hazel-eyed Shadowsinger, one who had your stardust on his fingers and your heart in his palm –

“So,” your High Lord drawled, pulling your attention back to the present. “Azriel’s meeting with Cressida, huh?”

You glanced sidelong at him. “Yeah. What about it?”

Rhys shared an amused look with Feyre. “It’s too bad he couldn’t just meet with Tarquin,” Feyre added.

“Why?” you said. “There’s nothing wrong with meeting with Cressida.”

“It doesn’t bother you?” Rhys added.

“Of course not,” you lied.

“Ah. Good.” Rhys held that devilish smile. “I guess it doesn’t matter that he’s back.”

You snapped your head to the entrance, finding Azriel and Cassian making their way over to your table. You turned back to find a smug grin on the High Lord’s face.

“Hey guys,” Cassian said, taking a seat, followed by Azriel. You needed to be nonchalant, not giving Rhys reason to tease. You smiled calmly.

“Hello Cassian. Azriel.”

“So formal,” Cassian smiled at you. Feyre laughed behind her glass.

“How was the mission?” You asked Cassian.

Azriel answered. “It was good.”

“Good,” you said earnestly.

Cassian smiled. “Everything okay, Y/N?”

You smiled sweetly. “Of course.”

Rhys chuckled. “Y/N. Come dance with me.” He stood, extending his hand to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Azriel frown as you took Rhys’s hand. You felt his eyes follow the two of you all the way to the dancefloor.

You looked at Rhys in confusion as he led you through a slow dance. He smiled. “So, you wanna tell me what all that was about?”

You blushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Rhys chuckled. “What’s going on between you and your little crush?”

You frowned, glancing back to the table in worry. “Lower your voice or Az will hear.”

“Interesting. I never specified a name,” Rhys said. You whipped your head back to his, eyes wide. Shit. “Aw,” Rhys cooed. “Not even gonna deny it? It’s that bad, huh.”

“Shut up. Respectfully.”

Rhys just chuckled. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

You took a deep breath. “I don’t know. Every time I drink, he gets, like… close to me, he opens up, but then the next day, it’s like none of that happened.” You frowned at your words. Rhys watched patiently as the truth spilled out. “I’m beginning to think he doesn’t like me sober.”

Rhys shook his head, smiling warmly. “He does like you sober.”

You just shrugged.

“Is that why you didn’t have anything to drink tonight?”

You nodded.

Rhys went on. “Is it also possibly because of Cressida?”

You glared. “Maybe.”

“Well, it looks like my work here is done,” he said. You frowned in confusion, but before you could ask –

“Can I steal her?”

You turned around and found Azriel reaching for your hand. Rhys let you go, parting with a wink.

Azriel waited patiently for you, arms open. You walked towards him, accepting his silent offer. He pulled you in, and you allowed yourself to relish the feeling of his hands on your waist. He began leading the motion. When you adjusted to the feeling of his closeness, you finally looked into his eyes. “Did I miss something since this morning? He asked, his voice low. “You seem distant.”

“No, nothing.”

Azriel narrowed his eyes playfully, a small smile appearing. He continued to lead you in the slow dance. Your eyes darted around his head, finding it hard to hold his gaze. When the silence prompted you to look back, he looked endeared by your abashment. “Did you have something to drink?” he asked lowly.

You nodded once, not feeling guilty for lying.

“Would you like me to get you more?”

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Shadowsinger?”

Azriel blushes. “No, no, I meant – you seem uneasy. I don’t –”

You laughed. “I’m just teasing Az.”

He smiled at the sound of your laugh, leaning in closer.

His breath fanned your cheeks, making it harder to think straight. “I think I’m going to cut out alcohol,” you said distractedly, focusing on his sensuous mouth inching closer to yours.

“Why,” he breathed. People continued to dance around the two of you, but you felt yourselves stop moving.

He leaned even closer to you, and you tilted your head back. “Because,” you rasped. “It’s not wise to be indulgent.”

He was so close that if you just rose on your toes, his mouth would meet yours. “Why,” he breathed again. It was getting harder to hold back.

“Because. At the end of the night I’ll still be by myself.”

You froze at your own admission, Azriel’s eyes scanned your face. His brows furrowed together as hurt overtook his features. You felt your own brows upturn in vulnerability, crestfallen as the truth spilled.

Azriel doesn’t kiss you.

The song ends, and you’re still in his arms. You began unwinding yourself from Azriel’s body, but he continued to hold tight to you. “Y/N,” he began. Anguish was still etched on his face.

Your pent-up feelings and the lack of him culminated all at once, sadness overtaking you. “I think I’m going to call it a night,” you said. His hands were still on your waist. You reached behind you, placing your hands on his and gently pulled them off. He didn’t stop you. You tried not to think about the pain you saw in his eyes.

He remained standing where he was as you made your way to the exit.

Without the ability to winnow, you began the long walk home, arms wrapped around your middle. You made it about three blocks when you heard someone land gracefully behind you. Rhys, you thought as you turned to face your High Lord.

You halted upon seeing Azriel; the two of you were the only people on the street. He watched you tentatively before speaking. “Let me walk you home.”

You took a deep breath. “Okay.” At your consent, he came to walk beside you. “But only because I’m sleepy,” you added weakly.

You heard him huff out a laugh. “Of course.”

The two of you walked in silence, his hands in his pockets. Regretting your emotional admission, you stopped and turned to face him suddenly.

“I’m sorry – ”

“Y/N, I need –”

The two of you spoke at the same time, halting. You laughed sheepishly. “You go.”

Azriel exhaled. “I’m sorry for not… Y/N, I know I sometimes tiptoe around you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I would – that’s the last thing I’d ever want.” There was no smile on his face, only sincere openness.

You gazed in awe.

The rare display of vulnerability on his face was equally as moving as his admission. Azriel swallowed, gauging your reaction. “I’m sorry to have disappointed you.”

Your eyes softened, along with your heart. “Az, no – you didn’t disappoint me.”

You walked to where he stood, unable to convey your feelings with words. Azriel watched, the hope in his eyes alone breaking your heart. You wrapped your arms around his torso. He immediately reciprocated, squeezing you into him. He pulled back enough to lift you into his arms, causing you to squeak at the sudden shift. He carried you and gracefully ascended into the air, intending to fly you the rest of the way home.

Silence overtook the two of you. Azriel took his time, banking and gliding across the sky with you in his arms. The heft of your emotions, the warmth of his body holding you, and the wind from flying had you closing your eyes, trying to savour his closeness before it inevitably ended. You let yourself sag into his arms. After a few moments, Azriel began speaking in a hushed voice.

“I hope you’ll remember all of this in the morning.”

You frowned in confusion, eyes still closed. Why wouldn’t I remember this in the morning?

You feel Azriel breathe deeply before continuing. “The reason I don’t… let myself have you is because I don’t think I deserve you.” Your heart faltered. “But I do want to be with you,” he said, voice hoarse. “If you’d have me.”

“Az,” you breathed. “I want to be with you too.”

“Do you really?” he asks lowly.

You crack open your eyes to look at him. “Yes, isn’t it obvious?” He smiled. “Why are you –” being so direct? The words went unsaid.

“What you said this morning,” he answered. You frowned, prompting him to clarify. “Drunk words are sober thoughts,” he echoed your words from earlier.

Oh.

Oh.

It dawned on you. He thought you were drunk.

He didn’t think you’d remember this in the morning. He wanted the honesty of a drunk admission. That woke you right up, eyes wide open. You felt yourself descend as the House came into view. Azriel made no move to put you down as he calmly took you to your room.

He made his way over to your bed, gently laying you down. Once he released you, he began to rise, but you tightened your hold on his neck. “Stay,” you said.

Azriel smiled to himself like he knew something you didn’t. “I can’t, sweetheart,” he said gently. He braced his arms on either side of your head to support himself as you tugged him down.

“Why not?”

“It’s not right,” he said.

“Azriel,” you laughed. “I’m sober.”

Azriel just smiled. “Sure you are.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed harder. You paused upon hearing vague shuffling outside. Your friends were all home. You knew what you had to do. You released Azriel from your vice grip, grabbed his hand to keep him from leaving, and sat up in your bed. “Rhys!” you called. Azriel frowned at you in confusion. “Rhys!”

You waited as Rhys’s footsteps grew louder, making his way to your room. He opened the door and stepped in, taking in the sight of Azriel standing beside your bed, holding your hand. Rhys laughed.

“Yes?”

“Rhys! Tell Az what I told you before.”

Rhys turned to Azriel. “She has a crush on you.”

Azriel’s eyes widened, and you balked. “No! Not that. The other thing.”

“She was jealous because you –”

“No,” you cut him off. “Tell him about the drinking,” you said.

“She thinks you only like her when she’s drunk.”

You huffed in frustration, frowning at the High Lord. “No. Tell him I didn’t have anything to drink!” you exclaimed.

Rhys laughed at your enthusiasm. “Oh. Yes. Azriel, she didn’t have anything to drink. She’s sober as a judge.”

“Thank you!” you bellowed, exasperated. Azriel’s shock was blatant, looking back and forth between you and Rhys.

Rhys was smiling like a Cheshire cat. “Will that be all?”

“Yes.” With that, Rhys left.

You turned your attention back to Azriel. His cheeks were red, eyes still wide. “You… everything I said,” he trailed off.

You got onto your knees on the bed to face him. “Yes.”

Azriel swallowed. “You truly… you truly want to be with me?”

You nodded. “Yes. I’ve wanted you for so long,” you insisted.

He beamed in adoration as he looked at you. “Okay,” he rasped.

You smiled at him. “Will you stay with me, Az?”

He took a deep breath and nodded. The contentment that fell upon you at his affirmation was better than any intoxication you’ve ever felt.

You stood to change in your closet, but Azriel stopped you. “I like you sober,” he said. “I’m sorry you thought I only liked you drunk. I liked how comfortable you got with me when you drank, but don’t ever think I only like you when you’re drunk.” Your eyes softened. You lifted to your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You left before more emotional admissions occurred, even as your heart teemed with affection.

You came out in a nightgown and found Az in nightclothes, having winnowed to his room and back. He waited for you by the bed, the novelty of it all moderating your actions. You reassumed your position in the bed. Azriel came to you, covering you with a blanket before making his way around your bed, getting under the covers. He opened his arms to you which you happily folded yourself into, your head resting on his chest.

“You tricked me last night,” you whispered.

Azriel chuckled. “I was being a gentleman.”

“Great. Don’t ever do that again.”

You felt his laugh vibrate in his chest, making your eyes fall shut in contentment. The line between the two of you was finally crossed, and you had no plans to ever leave his side. Despite what he said about liking you sober, you’d happily get drunk on this feeling for the rest of your days. The two of you fit each other, falling into place like falling stars, lighting the world with brilliance. You drifted off to sleep with that sense of intoxication in your veins, his starry eyes on your mind, and your heart on your sleeve.

~

Edit: I changed the title from “Drunk Thoughts, Sober Desires” upon learning the correct saying

taglist: @iimisty-a @feyretopia @cityofidek @cullenswife @reiincarnatiion @sfhsgrad-blog @answer-the-sirens @mrstangerinejohnson @thatdamfae @verifiefangirl

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Salvation

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Priestess!Reader x Azriel

Synopsis: Az visits a temple for a mission but instead finds a curious, flirty Priestess with pretty eyes that he can’t get out of his head. He returns and shows her all the ways a man can be brought to his knees.

Warnings: Smut. Um blasphemy I suppose?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azriel never considered himself particularly religious. He was far too tainted to seek penitence, too sullied to desire absolution. But lately, he’s been spending his evenings at the temple, drawn by something greater than shame, greater than devotion.

He sought her.

The first time he met her, most of the priestesses had already retired for the night, allowing Azriel to wander, to take in the sacred space he rarely visited. Movement caught his eye behind one of the columns inside.

An angel, his shadows whispered to him. Azriel bit back a smile at the notion. He continued his lazy saunter, feigning oblivion at this alleged angel watching over him. He stopped at the end of the aisle, observing the artwork on the walls. Watching, they whispered. He glanced over to his awaiting spectator.

Keep reading

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Closure (Ⅴ)

Azriel x Reader

a/n: final part. Couldn’t wait until tomorrow to post so here it is :) This part is a lil short compared to the others. I hope you guys enjoyed this series as much as I did!!

Requests are open!!

warnings: angst, and then FINALLY some fluff

One month passed, and Azriel followed through with his promise to give you space and time.

That didn’t stop him from trying to win your favor back in other ways, though.

The first gift? A bouquet of your favorite flowers, sitting on your nightstand when you returned home after a day of training.

The second? A stack of books. New books, that Azriel recalled you showing interest in.

The third? He gifted you a basket of muffins. Poorly baked as they were, you did appreciate the effort.

Most recently, though? A necklace, with a gemstone matching the cobalt-blue of his siphons. He’d left it on your bed that morning. You’d yet to put it on.

Despite your better judgment, you tugged on the bond. An uncertain, nervous gesture.

Are you there? An unspoken question.

You felt a pull in response, sending warmth throughout your chest.

I’m here, it seemed to say.

~~~~~~~~

“Still on the outs with Az?” Feyre questioned from her vanity, where she applied her makeup for the coming Starfall celebration.

“Yes,” you said quickly, before clearing your throat. “No. I don’t know.”

Feyre laughed. “I know how you feel.”

You supposed your situation was rather similar to what Feyre went through with Rhys.

“How did…” you trailed off, trying to find the words. “How did you forgive him?”

With amusement twinkling in her eyes, Feyre answered without hesitation, “I forgave him because I love him, and I understood why Rhys did what he chose to do. I still give him shit for it, as a friendly reminder, every so often.”

You nodded, and toyed with the sleeves of your dress, swallowing thickly. “I love Azriel, you know.”

That much, you knew to be true. You loved him so much it made your soul ache, so much it pained you to be away from him, no matter how much he upset you. You loved him. Needed him.

Feyre smiled gently, understandingly. “I know.”

~~~~~~~~

From where you stood on the balcony of Feyre and Rhys’s townhouse, Azriel looked beautiful.

The dark blue shirt he wore had a few buttons undone, revealing the chiseled chest beneath. His tousled hair looked so soft you wanted to reach out and touch it.

Unsurprisingly, the Shadowsinger caught you staring. He offered you a small smile.

You gave him a smile in return.

It took several more moments before you realized he wouldn’t approach you. He was waiting for your lead.

So you took a steady, calming breath, and made your way to him, the sound of celebration drowning out behind you.

Azriel gulped—gulped—as he took in your form. You made a mental note to thank Nesta for buying this dress.

“Hi, Az,” you greeted.

Azriel smiled again. “Hi, y/n.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but all that left you was a gasp as the spirits of Starfall began migrating above you.

Bright, glowing orbs of blue, green, and purple loomed about. You watched in awe, as you did every year.

“Do you ever wonder where they go?” You asked Azriel, not tearing your gaze from the sight above.

“Somewhere better, I suppose.”

It was then that you turned to see Azriel’s reaction to the spirits, only to find that he was already staring at you.

Despite yourself, you blushed. “You’re missing the show,” you murmured, playfully shoving his shoulder.

Azriel froze for a moment, and then grinned. Your heart swooned at the gesture, and you realized then, that was the first time you’d touched him in weeks.

“I have a much better view right here,” Azriel mused as his eyes raked over you for a second time.

You watched the spirits for a few moments longer, before turning to Azriel once again. “We should—“

Azriel cleared his throat. “Yes, we should—“

“Talk,” the two of you said in unison, before sharing a laugh.

You sighed, before reaching into the pocket of your dress, pulling out the necklace Azriel gifted you. You fidgeted with it as you spoke. “I wasn’t sure, before. What to say to you. How to…go about what happened.”

Azriel’s throat bobbed. “And now?”

“Now…” you paused, swiping your thumb over the gemstone in your hands. “Now, I’m sure. Of a few things, I’m sure. I…I know I said it already. But you did hurt me, Azriel. Very much.”

You loosed another sigh. “But, I know that you were scared. You were scared of what the bond meant, scared of allowing yourself to be vulnerable with me.”

“I was scared,” Azriel admitted. “I still am, in truth. I’m afraid of failing you—I’ve already failed you. I—“

You shook your head, silencing him with by placing your hand on his chest, over his thundering heart. “I also know that I love you. With every bone in my body, with every breath I draw, I love you.”

For the first time in the centuries you’d known him, you watched as a tear slipped down Azriel’s cheek.

At the sight of it, your own tears began forming.

“I love you,” Azriel breathed. “I love you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t admit it sooner.”

You studied him for a moment, as though it was your first time ever doing so. You took in every bit of his features, down to the freckles that painted his tanned skin, the tiny, barely-there scar on his jaw, the tears brimming his eyes.

And you let your love for him flow through the bond, warm and inviting and all-consuming.

Your breath hitched as Azriel did the same, the feeling unlike anything you’d ever experienced.

A simple tether, connecting your soul to another’s.

Your mate.

Azriel glanced at the necklace you still held in your hand, and then met your eyes. “May I?”

You remembered what you sneered at him, all those weeks ago.

Do not presume to touch me. Ever again.

You regretted the words—you’d regret them for the rest of your life.

So you turned away from Azriel, and moved your hair over your shoulder, baring your neck to him.

He slipped the necklace around you, pressing a kiss to the crook of you neck as he clasped it. When you turned to face him, fresh tears streamed down his face.

You once again reached your hand into your pocket, cringing at what you revealed.

“It’s not much, but I figured this could be the final task to your retribution,” you said to Azriel, handing him one of the muffins he’d baked for you.

Azriel chuckled. “I’ll eat them for the rest of my life, if it makes you happy.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you teased as he took the muffin from you, and began to choke it down.

You giggled at the sight, brushing your lips against his once he finished.

“I love you,” you whispered to him once again. “My mate,” you added, almost to yourself.

Azriel’s eyes fluttered shut as you spoke. You found yourself wondering how often he’d heard those three words.

You’d be sure to tell him every day.

~~~~~~~~

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