mollysgoldilocks

[mollysgoldilocks]

The state of living in the inbetween (short essay by me)

Books, movies, TV shows, paintings. All common pass times. All of rooted importance in the real world. All an art that can thrive on the dissatisfaction of the “real world”, offering a distraction - an escape route, or even a solution - to living in the world that we consider truly ‘real’. All an outlet, a comfort, a release that can exist to assist our downtime from the relentless ‘real world’. But, what happens when what we know to be real - the living world - becomes misshapen and collides with another - the fantasy? 

Stories, the telling of a fictional narrative through spoken word, text or images, have been around since before we ever started to record. Cave paintings depicted hunting scenes, pillars were carved with the myth of Gilgamesh and Aesop’s fables were spread, and embellished, for centuries through word of mouth before they were ever written down. All are examples of where - and how -  the existence of a narrative has existed since living began. Clearly, a narrative does not have to be fictional, and so can exist as a series of steps that led up to a true happening: think of cave paintings depicting real scenes of hunting and gathering, or even the tellings of the Bible, that many believe are truthful. A narrative can lead us through experiences that we had never expected to experience - both “real” and “unreal”, in both our “real lives” and in our “online lives”. Previously, I have explored the idea of living simultaneously within the real and the digital. In a vast plain where surprise doors lead you to a lucky dip chance of entering the real, or entering the digital. The experience of Millennials in particular that have a unique stance on existing in both, or one, realm, being the only generation that has experienced existing in a time before, and during, the Internet. Lives can be lead in the real world, only to be abandoned as soon as one logs in. A world online prompts a whole other being of the self. There is chance to think before you say, show what you deem acceptable, edit what is less desirable. The experience of being online and being within the real is so drastically different that it’s irresponsible to deem them of the same state of being. When one can be two different people simultaneously, how can the two realms exist in harmony - or even exist at all together? 

The realm of the Internet and the Real has always been of great interest to me. Being a Millennial myself, I remember a time before the Internet and the now, a time very much rooted in Internet culture. Perhaps even run by the other culture. After all - books, movies, tv shows all take you away from the real, into another real. All advertisements and magazines are offering you ways to improve yourself - how to become that Internet version of yourself. We are all rooted deep within the Internet self that we portray that we exist unknowingly in the real, pretending we are in the Other Realm. Whatever that might be. 

The state of living within the inbetween. Forcing a self-insertion into books, movies or other narratives that “take us away” from the real world. 

My work now - my interests and my practice - stems from this inbetween. The state of recognising some things - but not all. The state of some of these “real life” objects, people or situations existing in an unfamiliar environment, or an environment that exists beyond the possibilities of Real Life, is the basis in which my paintings and current project are built from. Taking what is familiar and what is not and inserting them into an unprescribed narrative built from the inbetween drives the core concept of my work - to illicit reactions of confusion and intrigue. Exploring the concept of a realm not so “perfect” as the digital Internet self considers the existence of the Internet realm if it was not the Internet. If a realm could exist simultaneously to this one but not have the freedom to edit oneself into the “perfect” version, what would that look like? Would it be what you wanted to see? Would it be weird, possess weird ideas and things that don’t prescribe to the real, or your opinion on what is right or wrong? 

I personally love the Heffalumps and Woozles in the Mini Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. The creation of something weird and wonderful - and quite frankly scary to me as a kid - away from the pressures of the carving of the self is fascinating. The idea of the dream existing in a realm of its own - it’s so real that Pooh himself truly believes in them until he’s proven otherwise. The “proven otherwise” part is irrelevant to me, honestly. The sheer idea of his belief in something so weird and world-less is a concept I hold onto. I think everybody should hold onto the imagination they had as a child; adulthood can be so heavily based within the real that we forget that worlds separate from The Real exist. Our dreams, thoughts, feelings, ideas and imaginations exist, and within those there are no limits. I hope that my work, both this project and more importantly future projects, can explore this concept more deeply. This is part of the reason that I have used children’s drawings in my project. They kind of bridge the gap between the fantasy and the real, and I think again this is something we should all hold onto as we get older. We don’t have to “live so relentlessly in the real world”, in the words of Jeremy Usborne. 

I hope my work explores the bridge between what can be real and not. What can be scary, or not. What can be strange, fascinating, confusing and intriguing all at the same time. What can exist in the realm between the real and the fantasy. What can exist from the merging of the real and the fantasy. What can just exist, without prescribed stories or narratives. What can exist, and invite you to exist within it too, even just for a few seconds. 

[mollysgoldilocks]

Leaning towards using this for the piece that I want framed by the arch by the entrance steps. I like the way the subject itself is “framed” by the arch and I think this works nicely with the composition in the piece. 

The only consideration I have to think about is the background - is this background suitable?

I want it to slightly mirror what is going on with my toy theatre, with the domesticated scenery that I am creating for it, so I wanted to ensure that my paintings did have this sense of homeliness too. With this sense of homeliness, I wanted to contrast this when looking slightly deeper into the painting by seeing a weird baby-child and bear-woman. 

Whether this would be better with the original background of the original Raphael painting is questionable - I do like that but then I feel it might have too much relationship to the original painting and therefore suggest more of a dialogue between religion or the original intentions of the painting, which is not the case! 

[mollysgoldilocks]

Sketchbook update

I realised quite early on in my project that this blog would replace the physical “sketchbook” as such. Usually I do keep a sketchbook, but I started to weigh up to pros and cons for this project: I needed something that was quicker to document my ideas, less expensive and less time consuming to do. This is why I decided to keep a blog!

It may not be my traditional way of keeping my ideas in check, and honestly I explain my work and ideas a lot more on this blog than I would for my personal projects and in my sketchbook (due to being marked!). So, I decided that after a while I would be solely relying on this blog to update ideas, explore methods and explain concepts, because it really does suit my needs more right now!

I don’t keep many sketchbooks in my personal work really. Especially ones that I write a lot in. I tend to do all of my planning work and concept images on photoshop, and don’t sketch a lot in preparation for these paintings. As my work is quite representational, my sketches in general follow suit and therefore not much actual “concept sketching” is done. This might change one day, but for now that’s my process!

So, this blog is going to be the sole place that I update in terms of what I make, my thoughts, my concepts and critically annotating, due to the ease of use and time that it takes to update compared to planning sketchbook pages, and for consolidating information and thoughts (blog posts can be edited! Thankfully!)

[mollysgoldilocks]

please click on the arrows or on the image to enlarge and see the rest

Testing backdrops that I created on The Sims that I could use for the play scenes of the toy theatre. 

I wasn’t sold on the idea of using my sims domesticated settings as the backdrops - I kind of thought that it didn’t necessarily explore what I was hoping for it to explore, especially as my ideas have developed. 

However, it does push forward the more traditional aspect of fairytales that I originally explored in AP1 - being in a domesticated settings where these stories are usually told and shared, as well as reinforcing the idea of the story of the three bears and goldilocks being the starting point from which my ideas flourished. Although this perceived narrative of goldilocks is less integral to my idea now than I originally thought, I think the homage to the humble beginnings of the loved fairytale through the domesticated settings (which also link into the fairytale itself, being that the bears were the domesticated beings and goldilocks was the “feral” human) still rings relevant. 

I’d also like to include a more natural scene to it. I think I would like to create a forest on the Sims and use this as a backdrop, just to create a dialogue between the domestic and the natural, and also to add more variety in the types of scenes that can be played out when using/playing with the toy theatre. 

[mollysgoldilocks]

A collection of places in the building that I could hang my paintings. I like the idea of the one hanging between the filigree metal and the basement door. I would be nice to put some sort of metallic mirrored paper behind the basement door windows near the top so that the viewer could see themselves as they were walking through. This does relate to the kind of conceal/reveal/become narrative that I have with this project, and the mirrored paper would then link it back into the concept of the real, the self and the immersion/insertion of the self into the narrative. 

These are all just ideas right now, and I feel like I need the weekend to mull over the spaces to choose to display my work in.

[mollysgoldilocks]

A test painting using oils of one of my painting ideas. Looking into using the digital trace left by children (physically on things like MS paint and metaphorically) in conjunction with my fairytale basis (goldilocks) and famous Renaissance paintings that were mostly concerned with the human achievement and making things “realistic” (and telling stories through the adaption of painting style to creating work that could resonate with those that could not read - they wanted paintings to be realistic in order to be able to tell these stories effectively) 

[mollysgoldilocks]

Sketching one of the paintings by Raphael that I want to use as a base for my paintings

(Image from Snapchat Stories on my art insta: @raltsss)

[mollysgoldilocks]

Progress images of my theatre so far. Oil layer to be completed and backdrops to be made on the Sims which will be weighted so you can pull them up and down

I liked the accidental bright sienna tone of the underpainting and thought that I could keep that as the final layer. However, once adding a more cool brown tonal oil layer, I decided that the oil layer just looked so much smoother and finished than the patchy underlayer. Of course, it would as it’s just the underlayer, but I did wonder if I had made a mistake by going over it in a cooler brown town. However, the introduction of the cooler brown I think makes the theatre look more finished and approachable as a playable object, not just as an art piece, which I think the underlayer would have presented itself as. Whilst looking more “finished” and therefore perhaps “traditional” in the toy theatre sense, it also suits the place in which I want to display it: either a stairwell or the foyer.

[mollysgoldilocks]

Choosing my painting surface

So it’s quite difficult for me to come to a decision on the painting surface that I think is most suited to my concept. Of the main, there are three surfaces that I can think of to choose between: canvas, wooden panel or canvas applied to wooden panel. 

I usually favour canvas over any other painting surface. I like how forgiving it is and also how versatile it can be: the different cottons and linens you can choose from, the types of gesso you can use, the way you sand it, etc. But, is it the right choice for this project? Just because something is my favourite isn’t a valid reason for not exploring other options, so I’m typing this out in hope of making sense and a clearer decision in my head about the surface I will use.

For one painting, the only choice I have is wooden panel. I need it to fit within the archway of the stairs up to the entrance of Margaret St, and as it’s a unique shape I won’t be able to find a canvas to fit. There may be a way to make and stretch a canvas in that shape, but that would take months of experimentation to find the right way, and with this project we just don’t have that time! So for one painting I will have to use a wooden board.

This makes the other decisions harder to be honest! Do I want all the paintings to have a similar look, and therefore I would have to go for the same surface as the first (a wooden board) or do I want my other paintings to be different, and therefore choose a canvas? Or do I want each painting to be different, and so choose one circle board, one archway board and one canvas or rectangle board?

I do like the idea of each painting being a different shape: I think that this would add to the premise of the narratives not “following on” and being in conversation with the other pieces, rather than as the same collective? 

The only issue: I don’t actually like painting on board that much. So is there a way for me to combat this? Or should I just use this time as a time to experiment with board.

Another reason I feel board would be more suitable is that my paintings will be on quite a small scale. Being on such a scale, the ability to paint very small details on paintings on canvas is more difficult. The canvas obviously has much more texture than a board, and this can be a problem when using canvas to paint mini paintings. I had this issue back in my second year of my BA when I used a small stretched canvas to paint a detailed painting, and the inconsistencies of the way it was painted in the smaller details really showed. 

I also think that board would be much more suitable for the digitised aspects of my painting, which I want to be smooth and solid looking, with precision and detail, which I think would be more challenging on a canvas. However, the rest of the painting I feel would benefit being on canvas more because of the traditional-looking aspects. 

However - considering many of the paintings I’m basing my compositions off are by Raphael, wooden board may not be a bad idea after all. Raphael was known to paint a lot on panels and painted far more on wooden panels than he did canvas. 

Honestly, typing this all out has made me think much more about the type of surface I want for my painting and what would benefit the ideas and overall aesthetic of the piece. I’m feeling that I am leaning more towards archival panel and think that this is what I will go for. I will be looking into types of wood to use and whether it would be more feasible to make my own or buy them: it’s easier to buy archival supplies than it is to make them so this will have to be something I consider next. 

[mollysgoldilocks]

I found this meme whilst scrolling through Facebook and I’m so glad I did. It’s opened up a whole new idea for me in terms of my paintings and the idea to include more of a “confused” narrative in the painting to push forward the idea that there is no prescribed narrative, and to push the idea of the merging of the real, unreal and surreal further in the aesthetics of my work, especially the paintings that exist in the building without any source of “grounding” (i.e having reflective paper to suggest the real of the self). I’m going to spend another few days finalising the ideas I have for the concepts for my paintings, measure up the spaces and then get to work on them.

[mollysgoldilocks]

Exploring the SoA for exhibition spaces

I went around the building a second time to look through the potential places in which I could exhibit my work. The premise is that a narrative is built by viewers according to what they come across first, leading into the idea that I don’t want my work to be “out there” on the walls, on regular exhibiting spaces as this adds in a potential narrative as it is. There’s a few that I found that I think would work well, so I’m going to talk through the logistics of each space here and hopefully come to a more solid decision. 

Potential space 1

This space is one that appeals to me because of the presence that it will have upon both entering and exiting the building. I noticed the building of the SoA has an infinite number of archways in which I could use to “frame” my work to help them both be concealed and revealed by the building. I like this space, though the logistics of it mean that I would have to spend some time in the wood workshop cutting the wood and ensuring that it would actually fit into the space snugly, and this also limits down the opportunities to paint on other materials: canvas is practically impossible with the shape of the arch and so it really leaves me only with wood panel as an option, which I do like, I just know that it is less forgiving than canvas and the images painted on wood panel tend to look sharper.

Pros: Frames the space well, interesting shape, archway replicates triad arch paintings painted in the Renassiance era in churches, space conceals and reveals painting (great for my viewing premise)

Cons: Difficult to get wood shaped, painting could get damaged or stolen as it’s hard to invigilate that space, archway may have religious connotations, is located at the beginning and end of the building (as a viewer would see it) so might affect the order of narrative (may force the viewer into having this as their first piece of the narrative

Potential space 2

I also really like the potential of this space. It echos the archway of the first potential space but instead lets the painting breathe and has potential to add mirrored board to the shape of the window to link more into the becoming of the real and the in/out of the real. This would be 55x43cm (around 16x20 inch, a little bigger) and would allow for a canvas to be used rather than wood board, though the canvas may let light through the back moreso than the wood board and make it harder to see the details of the painting. However, I like this idea! I like the large arch and the possibility of adding in more of a “personable” element to make the attachment to the real stronger (through the mirrored background or paper)

Pros: Great space - not too hidden to push a “find and seek” narrative but not typical enough to force a white cube exhibition narrative onto it, ability to add other aspects like the mirror in the background, allows me to choose what materials used (canvas or board), has space for the painting to breathe, nice and different from the first idea but still similar enough to promote that they are of the same artist, can walk through this corridor from various doors meaning the order in which you see this painting may be different for everyone

Cons: May be difficult to fix the painting, chance that the office/space behind the window might not allow the window to be covered,  too “on show” ?

Potential space 3

Another potential space I found. I’m not too keen on this one really although I may place a canvas in to see how conceal it is. I think the doors might add too much of a “hide and seek” aspect to it, when that isn’t my concept and doesn’t add to the premise of making your own narrative - it merely hides it. However, I’m reviewing it for the fact that it might be an idea once I have a finished painting to test it out. 

[mollysgoldilocks]

please click on the arrows or on the image to enlarge and see the rest

Walking through the building to find suitable places for my paintings to go. 

I want them to be hidden, but not too hidden. I want them to be away from the exhibition white walls (too sterile and the narrative from other people’s work can sometimes interrupt and interact with other works) and within the building amongst the beautiful setting that is often overlooked by students (me included - being at this university takes me by surprise sometimes as I’m so used to going my normal route to the MA studios that I don’t stop to take in the beautiful sights of the building of Margaret Street.)

After investigating the building, I found some potential spots that I would like my work to be displayed in. I don’t want them too far away from the studios as then they are completely hidden and away from the general traffic of people. but again I don’t want them in the “correct” route to the studios because this is interact with the “no proposed narrative” aspect of my work (as most people would “read” it the same way). 

Right now, I’m drawn towards the arched window on the first floor corridor (where I could perhaps put some silver mirrored window foil behind to correlate with the mirrored theatre and “interactivity of the self” of my work), the window looking down onto the concourse in the first floor corridor (the last image - I like the idea of people seeing my paintings and then seeing themselves in the window as they are looking at my painting. Again this correlates with the insertion of the self into the unreal.) For the third, I’m torn. I do like the cupboard on the first floor near the library - with doors that I could manipulate to “close” off my painting, or fit my painting to the door. I also like the filigree archway looking down onto the basement - whether a painting could be hung in there is a different story! 

This is something I will have to consider - I’m quite set on the two I first considered but I just have to consider the last placement and also these in relation to my toy theatre and bear. 

[mollysgoldilocks]

Consideration of the participatory activities: toy theatre, paintings and the real/unreal

To start this mini blog post, I want to begin by outlining that when I reference my “toy theatre”, I am referencing the toy theatre that I am in the process of creating: the wooden portion of the theatre is finished - it stands alone and has a gap for magnets to slot into to move characters. At the current moment I am painting the proscenium design that I designed on Photoshop onto the proscenium front. All of these aspects are discussed on other blog posts where you can see my ideas, references, concepts and considerations. Please bear that in mind that this post does not delve into all of those aspects!

I am creating a toy theatre in order to show for my degree show. The idea is that the “characters” suggested in my paintings, and the whole “add your own narrative” via the real vs the unreal is reflected in my strange character paintings based on Renaissance paintings, my props and childrens drawings as well as in the toy theatre. The theatre itself will work as a workable, interactive “toy”. I will urge viewers to move around the characters and play with it, whilst also having a clear view of themselves when some scenes are pulled down (the addition of a mirror to the back of the theatre or a pull-down scene).

This is the introduction of participation in my work. Whilst not being completely centred around the activity of being and  relying on participation, my work instead invites the participation aspect. My work can and will exist without the participation of others if they so wish, but the option for the participatory element is definitely there. This concept of participation/unparticipation relates to the real/unreal considerations that I have in my work. They run parallel; the participation of my work invites the “real” (of being part of something as your real self) and the act of it existing beyond audience participation invites the “unreal” (the ability for my work to exist with or without the “real” interacting with it - a sense of fairytale, fiction and the separation from real life). 

Therefore, I felt it only right to relate this participation in one element of my work (the toy theatre) to the rest of my work (the paintings). The paintings will exist around the building and attempt to allow the viewer to build their own narrative as they make their way around the building. This means that the participation of the audience adds to my work and the experience that people have with my work, but it does not “rule” my work and that my work can exist without the participation of others, again mirroring both the unification and separation of the real and the unreal. 

In my paintings, I am including my own digital renderings of childhood drawings, both my own and other kids. This aspect of my work combines the interaction of the childhood with my work, a state of time where the real and the unreal merge and exist in harmony with one another, rather than allowing the real to overpower the fiction. This state of childhood and the interaction with the real and fiction in the same way is an interaction that I wish the audience to have with my own work - the real/unreal merging to create an amalgamation of something that people cannot truly put their finger on the real and unreal aspects, as well as the relationship to the childhood fantasy (fairytales, living through fiction, ignoring the real). 

I will delve more into the interaction between my concept and the use of Renaissance paintings in future posts, but for now a brief summary: painters in the Renaissance era were fascinated with depicting things to be considered “real” - the rise of humanism brought on an intense fascination with being in the human world. Whilst this interest in rooting paintings and the like in the “real world” they often depicted stories in their paintings. The “real” was  performing the stories. The “real” was wanting the audience to believe  the stories that they were telling. This relationship between the real and the fiction in Renaissance paintings I find truly interesting, as they were creating humanised pictorial references for stories that were not proven true. 

[mollysgoldilocks]

I’m considering making a virtual tour that a QR code links to so that the different paintings can be linked together that way, as well as the toy theatre. So the premise would be that one scans the QR code and opens a virtual tour document on their phone that you can move around and open information about the painting. This will have to be something I consider more deeply: whether I have the time, resources and whether it actually fits into my concept well enough! I do like the idea of linking up my paintings/pieces using a QR code rather than with the lines that I first considered (they look too intrusive on the painting when the painting is viewed alone, and the whole idea is that my paintings can be put into or taken out of a narrative and do not rely on being part of the series to stand alone and be given a narrative of their own.)

[mollysgoldilocks]

[mollysgoldilocks]

ideas prompted by a tutorial. I’m considering the participation aspect in my work - not completely evident in the “final” display, but a participatory aspect that exists amongst the creation of my ideas and works, that end up as fragments of my final works. 

This will link into the participatory aspect of my toy theatre that will be displayed during the final exhibition, linking my pieces that may seem “separate” (especially as they will be displayed singularly) together to create a unified series.

[mollysgoldilocks]

please click on the arrows or on the image to enlarge and see the rest

A mock up of a series of paintings, all connected with the digitised line between them that starts and ends in the same point on each canvas, but is not perfectly straight. This adds to the childish and childhood aspect of my concept as well as inferring that the pieces are all together as one series. The line is too thick on these concepts but this is something I am interested in pursuing as I feel that it ensures that, though the pieces are apart, they have a uniting aspect and the narrative can be followed through the line, through each of the pieces. 

With the line starting and ending in the same place, the order of the pieces is not set. This means that the viewer can take in the pieces as they come across them, which will be different for everybody. This ensures that the idea of an adaptive narrative is carried through (such as, when actors on stage forget lines, or have to improvise). The narrative is adaptive and has no set flow, and this series could be displayed in multiple different ways, all presenting something different and new. I like this idea as I think that it marries a lot of my different interests and concepts together: Renaissance and historical paintings (composition and subjects) and memes, my childhood, prop-making, fairytale underpinning, flowing narratives and the merging of the real and unreal (Lacan and Baudrillard). 

This is a concept I feel I do want to take forward and play with. As you can see in the mock up, canvases that are circle can also be positioned within the series. I also like that there is no definitive end point, which means this series could stop then or could go on infinitely as I make and create work, all linking up together from the line that flows through them all, which would marry well with my concept as I approach writing a proposal for my PhD, which I want to focus on a similar idea.