mommybard - Tumblr blog

[mommybard]

trans girls insisting you don’t need to use a condom because “it’s not like i’ll get pregnant” and taking that as a challenge…

According to all know known laws of breeding, there is currently no known way to impregnate a transgal. The transgirl, of course, should be bred relentlessly anyway. Try harder. Keep going. You're either going to break her or knock her up, either way is a win

[mommybard]

breeding is absolutely my thing i need a litter pumped into me

I'm just unfortunately recovering from surgery in the area and don't. trust em to control themselves enough

Easy solution. Set up a glory hole and let you entertain there~

[mommybard]

what if the most submissive isn't the most breedable? I'm very submissive but not very breedable...

Sweetie, trans gals are absolutely breedable. Just have to try a bit harder with them~

But if its cause breeding isn't your kink, that's okay! You're more than welcome to help out keeping the rest of the Easter Guests entertained. Can't have them waiting too long for their turn, best to have a few relief cuties in the mix to make sure they're taken care of~

[mommybard]

No no sweetie I promise. I'm not just trying to trick you.

This is how you totally are supposed to celebrate Easter. All that dyed egg hunt stuff and the family dinner? Just completely wrong.

You're absolutely supposed to find the cutest, most submissive, most breedable thing around. Sometimes they'll volunteer, other times you miiiight have to hunt them down, it really varies. Personally I prefer the ones who try to run at least a little, makes it more enjoyable when you grab em.

Then you put them in bunny ears, obviously. It wouldn't be Easter without a bunny. Can't forget the bunny tail plug too, after all it'll be adorable watching it twitch. But you can't stop there!

Its best if you tape some bullet vibes over their most sensitive parts. For some that could be their nipples, their clits, their cock, it really depends on which cutie you get. Make sure they're buzzing away though, that'll leave them too distracted to run for the fun of the next part.

If youre grabbing them a bit in advance, a great way to prepare them for the holiday is to also shove some egg toys inside them. Its great seeing a cutie stuffed full, their poor hole stretched to its limit, feeling the eggs shifting and moving every time they make the slightest movement. Plus then you can make them push them out one by one in front of everyone during the event~

Once they're good and needy, you're going to be able to present them to your gathered guests and start the best part of the festivities! Everyone is going to try to breed the cutie, over and over again, all day long, trying to see who will be the one to actually knock them up. Now, this might be too much for your captured cutie. Their holes might beg for mercy. Their poor little mind might shatter. They might do something dumb like try to claim they have rights or that they can't be knocked up cause they don't have a womb.

Do. Not. Fall. For. It. Its part of the miracle of Easter sweetie, I promise they can take it~! And even if they cant...well, its always nice to have a new toy to play with the rest of the year~

[mommybard]

underutilized sub role is exotic pet for the dom to pet absentmindedly while giving orders to other subs. like a kinky Mafia

True, but if that sub ever gets a hair cut or shaves their body I'm going to hold them up and go "Look what you did to Mr.Bigglesworth!"

[mommybard]

my dom is having me wear a dildo shoved up in me all day at work and i’m so wet about it (he/him)

See, now I'm just imagining a cutie rocking himself back and forth in his seat under the pretext of "adjusting" or "getting comfortable" when really he's just playing with the toy buried inside him and it's not even 6am. How do you expect me to make my coffee with that thought stuck in my head~

[mommybard]

I would like to say that you are the reason I started to REALLY like cowgirls including being one, and I'm not sure if this is a blessing or a curse

It's a blessing until you find yourself struggling to find the country bars that have the space to let people line dance but are also queer friendly. Then its a terrible curse as you feel that urge deep down to two step but no space to let those feelings go wild Or the urge to get milked. One of the two. Depends on what kinda cowgirl

[mommybard]

Discovered the joys of switching because our domme gave us access to her hush.... and the power was intoxicating. from "oh hehe, i'm gonna help give her pleasure" to "Ohhhh its fun watching her squirm when I turn it all the way up at random times"

Next time you'll have to try to see how long you can keep her on that brink of cumming. Don't give her enough to go over, juuust enough to keep her in place. People get absolutely adorable the more desperate they are to finally hit that release~

[mommybard]

Gosh you seem so cool. Simultaneously so much of what I wish I could be, and so much of what I want to find. How do you do it?

I don't really have a good guide to "How to be like MommyBard 101". Part of it is just reaching a point in my life where I just stopped giving so much of a damn about what other people thought and decided to just be me. Not to say that I still don't have a whoooooole lot of anxiety to deal with, but I've gotten better about being able to handle it and compartmentalize it

[mommybard]

((Fucckkkkkkk this blog gets me so fucking soaked its actually insane))

So mommy really likes being rough when breeding her little bunnies, but can she also be nice when one of her bunnies is having a bad day? Cover them all up with kisses and praise while her big fat girlcock makes all the bad thoughts go away?

Absolutely~! Sure, rough and mean can be very enjoyable. But sometimes slow and gentle is what I'm more in the mood for, or what the good little cutie at my feet is craving. Gotta shake things up every now and then, if I did the same thing every time it would get boring

[mommybard]

Wait fuck I can't see the poll breakdown without voting myself? OH COME ON I GOTTA WAIT TO FIND OUT??

[mommybard]

Working on both of these atm, and figure this will be a more official way of finding out~ Would you rather get the Automaton Story first, or the Terminid story first you anti-Liberty degenerates~

[mommybard]

Oi. You both people. Theres no planet with both forces atm so I can't do both on the same Helldiver cutie~

Tempted to write something for helldivers, but I can't decide what would be better. Getting grabbed by the Automatons and turned into a cyborg stress relief toy or getting grabbed by the Terminids and getting dragged back to the hive to get egg'd~

[mommybard]

Tempted to write something for helldivers, but I can't decide what would be better. Getting grabbed by the Automatons and turned into a cyborg stress relief toy or getting grabbed by the Terminids and getting dragged back to the hive to get egg'd~

[mommybard]

Sweetie is everything okay? You've been sucking your emotional support girlcock for hours now. Half convinced you forgot how to do anything else~

[mommybard]

Just wanted to share that I recently figured out I was a switch after making my friend whimper while we were making out, and dear god I get why doms are so mean sometimes, because holy fuck did I run with that newfound power

It's such a good feeling, isn't it? Knowing that you caused a cutie to moan or whimper. That you're the reason they're all needy and excited. Hearing them make the most embarrassing noises just for you~ I swear its practically addicting. Such fun~

[mommybard]

Actually in order to do you they need to file form P-3N to get the request in to file GU-IN, which they'll need along with form BTM-BTCH filled out in triplicate. This won't actually let them fuck you yet, but it will allow them to join the queue to fill out the further paperwork required to rail you senseless, provided they also bring along 3 valid forms of ID, 2 offerings of sweet treats, and a stuffie.

Why are you doing paperwork 😤

When you could me doing me 🥺