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[momsanonymous-blog]

adult time

My husband and I work....cross-over shifts. Meaning, he works 6am-2pm, and I work 9am-5pm. He gets up at 4:30am, and, well....I get up around 5am as he’s getting ready for work. Once in a while, I’ll fall back asleep, but I try to stay awake and get shit done before the munchkin wakes up. On Mondays and Tuesdays though, our daughter goes to daycare. And in order to make it a little more budget friendly for us, I go to work late on those days so she is there for a “full day” (seriously, how is 9am-3pm considered a “full day”?). So those days, I work 10am-6pm. Wednesdays, my husband’s cousin watches her for us. Thursdays and Fridays are my husband’s days off, and I have your typical Saturday and Sunday off. So our schedule is a bit crazy, but we make it work. But having our alone adult time is increasingly difficult to achieve. Right now, we try for Saturdays after he gets home from work. Our daughter usually goes down for her nap around 1:30/2pm, and she’ll nap for quite a while. So we get to have some fun by ourselves. I do fear when she stops taking a nap though. What then?! Our week nights are shot because one or both of us are too tired, or have to get up early. I know we just need to make the time, and it’s going to get worse if/when we have a second one. But how do you make time? I’m curious.

[momsanonymous-blog]

I get distracted

I had totally planned on writing in this as often as I could. Well, it turns out my version of “often” means me thinking to myself “I really should write in a journal or something....shit, I have that tumblr, I should write in that” promptly followed by “....what was I doing? Oh yeah, dishes” or something along those lines.

We are all far too familiar with that. There are things you really want to do, but then there are the things you absolutely HAVE to do. Writing in your makeshift diary isn’t as important as loading and unloading the dishwasher, then wiping down the table, kitchen counters and stove after dinner. Oh, and then what the fuck am I stepping on? Where did all theses crumbs come from? We haven’t had Cherrios in the house in months! Oh, and then there’s the laundry. Check the drawer, ok, I have enough underwear to last me the rest of the week, so I can skip it this week and spend more time with my daughter (aka, not listen to her throw a bloody fit while I run downstairs to take care of it). Because sometimes, I just don’t want to throw the TV on unless I have to. 

Do NOT get me wrong. I have always known that any children I brought into this world would be more likely to watch a shit ton of TV from the time they were young. Why? Because I LOVE TV. I love television so much, I made it my profession. Nothing fancy, and probably nothing you have ever seen, nor will you ever see. But it something I love and enjoy doing, so that is what I do. Anyway, getting back to the virtual babysitter....while I knew my future spawn would be introduced to TV and movies at an early age, I still try to make sure 80% of their awake and not eating time is filled with non-tv fun. Though.....I have this horrible thing where I can’t stand it if the house is quiet. I’ll either put on the TV with some PBS kids stuff on, or Pandora, and just have it as background noise. Most of the time, my little monster and I will play with her toys and ignore the TV. Every once in a while, she’ll hear a theme song to a show she likes, or she’ll notice a good bouncy beat, and she’ll stop what she’s doing and start dancing. 

Anyway, shit....I totally forgot where I was going with this post. I think what I was getting at is that there is always a lot of shit to do. And adulting is hard. 

OH! Then throw this into the mix: we’ve been house hunting (can’t remember if I mentioned this in the intro post or not). We found one we really really like. Right now, we’re in what I like to call “paperwork limbo”. We’ve been signing so much goddamn paperwork, it’s not even funny. If you’ve ever bought a house, you know. If you’ve ever bought a house with an FHA loan, and downpayment assistance, then you know how much more is involved in that. So, in between all the typical house work, I’ve been packing (hubs hasn’t started packing yet....he’s been dealing with his own demons lately, but that’s for another post). Typically on weekends (when I’m not working), when my daughter takes her afternoon nap (which can last anywhere from one to three hours), I would relax and veg out with my shows, or take a much needed nap. Well, that is all done with because I am packing and pitching shit. I swear, the more I pack, the bigger of a mess I am making. There are currently two boxes and a storage tub sitting in my living room (taunting my daredevil of a daughter), because I’m too damn lazy to take them downstairs (they aren’t super light weight). Now, some may say “why are you packing if this isn’t a ‘done deal’?” Why, you ask? Because....I know we want to move. If for some horrible reason it doesn’t appraise, or whatever, we still want to and plan to move. We want to have another child, but we currently live in a -maybe- 750 square foot, two bedroom house, and there is no way we can fit another kid in here. It’s hard enough with one! So I just want us to be prepared. Obviously I’m not packing the essentials. So, you know, everything we have on display, or things that don’t have a function really, or things we aren’t using right now (like an air compressor, or my crafting stuff). I would like to start packing more things, but I’m running out of boxes and protective packing material. I kept telling myself “don’t buy that shit, people will just give it to you!!”. Yeah.....that is happening at a really slow pace. Nothing against anyone, but hey....people forget, or, you know, people just don’t come across the supplies I need. It’s cool. I need to go to the local book store to see if I can get some of their boxes. They are supposed to be really amazingly sturdy boxes because, you know, they hold heavy books. 

I think I’ve talked about nothing for long enough.

Feel free to leave comments, questions, or share your own stories or tips! You can stay 100% anonymous if you’d like. Just message me, and I can add your stories anonymously. All the best!

30/mitten mom

[momsanonymous-blog]

An introduction

I ramble. A lot. Though when I write, I try really hard to keep the topics in different paragraphs. So if during any of my writings I start to bore or confuse you, move on to the next paragraph to see if it gets any better. With that said, let’s begin.

I am married, and a mother to the most incredible one year old girl in my universe (I say that because in my universe, she’s the best, but I your universe, your daughter is the best….just want to clear that up before you think I’m one of THOSE moms, which he’ll, I might be, who knows). I love my job, it pays just above poverty so we can live a modest life, and we have a roof over our heads. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, though the levels of that I could not tell you. My psychiatrist is….I’ll come back to that at a later date. I attend talk therapy bi-weekly or more often, depending on my life and schedule. All in all, I have a pretty wonderful life. This little family I have built is far from perfect; we have our own problems, but we work on them when we can. And, if I’m being honest, if we feel like it.

My need for an anonymous outlet spreads farther than my sweet little family. My Giants are my family. The ones who raised me. Who I grew up with. The people who weren’t so bad when I was a child,but everything changed once I became an adult. From pitting one against the other, to infidelity, inappropriate conversations, manipulation, absence, deliberately causing emotional damage…..the list goes on.

To try and keep everything separate (mostly for my own sake as I don’t know of anyone who would see this as I do not plan to share this with anyone…maybe my therapist, but who knows),I will try to make each entry about a different topic. Or at least, a different event.

Another word of warning. If you haven’t already figured it out, I’m not exactly the best wordsmith. I constantly second guess my punctuation, and usually end up saying fuck it, and change what I was going to write. But I will give you this; I know the goddamn difference between their there and they’re, your and you’re. So, please be gentle.

It is far too late for me to get interested writing a new entry tonight (it’s only 10:40pm…….I’m 30 going on 70, yeah).

- Anon Mom