monaedion

[monaedion]

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment, and in retrospect.” I must still be digesting life; The taste lingers yet no words come. I hate writer’s block.

[monaedion]

1.31 - Crackfic Addiction

It's 1 am as I am writing this and I haven't been to school in three days. Lol. That's not funny. I can't sleep and I have so many thoughts I need to get out somewhere but Instagram actually feels like a tangible hellscape, so I'm here. I keep getting this reoccurring urge to write more for this account but I can't think of anything meaningful to say. Then, I think "Who the hell cares? This is my account."

I guess I'm mostly still caught up on my writing. I know the point of a draft is to literally just be a draft of your thoughts but I still feel like my work is so inadequate, like I still can't find that perfect balance of blunt sentences and beautiful prose. I'm very much inspired by a grand array of authors, so I feel as though if my personal taste is all over the place, so will my writing style. I have a bajillion drafts in progress right now, consisting of fantasy, dystopian, romance, magical realism, and horror. I really don't know what I'm doing. I know the point of creating is to actually enjoy the process of creating but I don't think I can entirely enjoy it if I don't even know what the hell I'm doing.

I was thinking about posting to AO3. This artist I follow on Twitter manages to crank out fanfiction, like, every other day, and I'm kind of jealous. I tried the whole Wattpad thing but the app was actually trash by the time I started writing my own stories so that was over as soon as it started. I miss OG Wattpad; we should start rioting in the streets. Maybe I need to start writing terrible fanfiction about my favorite blourbos to feel inspired.

[monaedion]

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

[monaedion]

Not even Jesus Christ was scrutinized as heavily as I judge myself.

[monaedion]

1.23 - Writing Slump or Comeback of the Year

Okay, first blog post of the year even though I know only, like, two people will see this. This year has been fine for me, kind of a rough start but things are shaping up (if we are ignoring the geopolitical state of the world right now). Since there's so much big change going on all the time, I'm taking this year to get back to myself - not allowing myself to slip into political ignorance, but more so giving the much-needed time back into my hobbies and crafts. I'm already an extremely anxious person so I won't let myself to fall endless existential crises and political anxiety.

That being said, I'm still anxious lol. I don't really think it's something I can ever truly escape but eff it, we ball. Anyway, my anxiety is more related to my writing. I've been in this constant whirlwind of feeling like I haven't accomplished enough, I haven't written enough, I don't have enough work to prove my passion for the craft. I spend so much time daydreaming about writing and reading that I don't actually get around to doing it. I have so many story ideas and so many messages I really want to convey that I get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work I want to accomplish. Sort of paralyzed by my inability to perform. Double Negative.

Anyway, I'm kind of losing the point. All this to say, I'll be working on my writing more. Simply putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. I feel like if I want to major in English I should have at least one finished work, so that's my goal for this year: Finish at least one story, whether it's my magnum opus or utter garbage. Wish me luck.

[monaedion]

rebug if bug

[monaedion]

Me in the party: Gosh golly! This beat is… Whoo! This beat is… DANDY!

[monaedion]

If she your girl why she saying “based” on all my posts?

[monaedion]

My cousin lost the cat in the divorce

[monaedion]

mercurys not in retrograde anymore so i dont have an excuse for my constant anxiety

[monaedion]

@wormgrrrrl 😁

[monaedion]

just finished my 5th psychotic breakdown

time to make a new pinterest board

[monaedion]

me, publicly embarrassing myself: ill never recover from this *instantly forgets what happened*

[monaedion]

reblog to put chris pratt in a saw trap

[monaedion]

that wasnt a dream

Adam Sandler was chasing me.

[monaedion]

Dean & Cas ⤠ 11x03 | The Bad Seed ↳ For @myaimistrue’s creator celebration

[monaedion]

my biology teacher made our assignment in comic sans i hate her and meiosis