monarda-citriodora

[monarda-citriodora]

i think i was just blocked for asking questions about radfeminism & idk why 😭

[monarda-citriodora]

Trans men that identify with having been raised as girls aren't your enemy. Just bc I was raised as the eldest daughter/2nd mother of my family & that changed how I view the world, doesn't mean u have to identify with having been a boy or girl or whatever growing up. We are our own people. I as a gay trans man could be seen as at odds with trans men that are lesbians, but they're not my enemy. We're homies. They don't contradict my identity as a gay man bc we're all our own ppl with our own experiences. If another trans/nb person has an identity or experience that u don't like that's not on them. It's on u & all the dumbass transphobes you're trying to please. Fitting trans ppl into neat little categories won't please transphobes, they do not want us to exist. Any of us. Regardless of how neat & presentable ur identity is. They don't give a fuck if your life story lines up with mine. They are your enemy, not me

[monarda-citriodora]

Potentially hot take but I simply think that insisting that transmascs who disagree with you are secretly closeted, transtrending TERFs is misgendering.

[monarda-citriodora]

ok so after some sleuthing bc i was really confused about this influx of weirdly aggressive guys commenting on my vague post about an actual post, turns out the creep that went thru my profile is an e-girl reply guy & the original poster was one of the accounts he follows. pretty sure he was trying to hit on her or something, everyone called him out for not knowing wtf he was talking about, & then he went apeshit & started borderline stalking the comments/profiles of anyone who called him misogynistic. bro was telling a bra fitter that her career didnt mean she knew more than him about bra sizes & was saying that men should be allowed to talk about women's bodies if they care about their "health" 🤢🤢

cis men are pissing me tfo on twt rn. like, how dare i, a meager small chested d cup part-time bra wearer, for lightly poking fun at u insisting all d cups are big-chested, oh great cis man who's supposedly dated women before

[monarda-citriodora]

something i find mildly frustrating when trying to talk to other trans ppl about gender & the gendered treatment that trans ppl experience from society prior to coming out is a seeming inability to adequately explain how it differs from the treatment of gnc cis ppl. like, i got a ton of shit as a kid that fits w the transandrophobia theory but tbh, i talk to women who were very gnc as kids & they have extremely similar experiences to me. idk i have trouble accepting the idea that trans ppl never experience socialization for their ASAB when i feel like there isnt a good explanation for how gnc ppl are treated that doesnt boil down to they're not actually mistreated that badly, they're secretly trans, or they're just victims of misplaced discrimination

[monarda-citriodora]

People argue trans men have male privilege and making jokes about them is Fine and Okay because the rest of society is set up to cater to men. And we can get into how society catering to cis men is not the same thing as it doing that for trans men, which should be obvious if you think about it for five seconds and aren'tin denial of the fact that mainstream society will treat you as your AGAB before anything else, but like.

Why do you even want to be aggressive towards men in the first place? Genuinely why is that part of your politics? How is that a good, okay impulse to have? Stop being hostile towards people based on parts of their identity they can't control, oh my God, even if it caused no structural harm that's still not a way to live your life.

[monarda-citriodora]

cis men are pissing me tfo on twt rn. like, how dare i, a meager small chested d cup part-time bra wearer, lightly poke fun at u insisting all d cups are big-chested, oh great cis man who's supposedly dated women before

[monarda-citriodora]

Men get more mad over being called misogynistic than they get mad at other men for raping women

[monarda-citriodora]

Yea, next question.

[monarda-citriodora]

been thinking about my opinions on surrogacy & adoption lately (both of which i am deeply against). the idea that ppl need to reproduce to be complete or that they are entitled to having a child is so fucked up. the nuclear family was a mistake

[monarda-citriodora]

Genuinely the #1 thing you can do to make sure trans people around you get gendered correctly is to just lead by example. Saying "hi this is [x] she'll be joining us today, could you show her [y]" is 100000x more effective and less scrutinizing pressure than a pronoun circle.

[monarda-citriodora]

Celibacy is so powerful. Liberal feminism doesn't want you to know this because it's men pulling the strings behind the curtain, but it's so powerful.

Having EXTREMELY high standards and being a perfectionist when it comes to partners is one of the most self empowering things you can do. Our bodily autonomy is threatened on a daily basis, you can take control back by not allowing anyone who is not up to your extreme standards to touch you.

[monarda-citriodora]

i remember watching oppenheimer & while i do like the movie & nolan's films, i was really annoyed they didnt show any of kitty oppenheimer's scientific contributions to the manhattan project. a lot of the women there were scientists & mathematicians in their own right & it isnt shown at all.

okay but if you ever see a male creative who had a string of great work and then everything else he did was dogshit, go to the "personal life" part of his wikipedia and look at his relationships. you'll either find a major tragedy he didn't recover from (completely understandable) or, more likely, there was a woman in his life doing uncredited shit editing his stuff or contributing generally and she's not there anymore.

I told a friend about this phenomenon in literature and he called me weeks later like, I remembered what you said about women doing uncredited work when tim burton came up. he made a string of bangers then everything else just was nowhere near as good. the timeline matches perfectly to when he was with this german visual artist (lena gieseke). he's done some good work in collaboration, but if things were dug into I suspect we would find she did a lot more than people realise.

so yeah whenever you look around like wow women didn't work in history, or, women aren't auteurs, or, there just aren't as many great female writers - societal reasons for that aside, half the time they absolutely did.

[monarda-citriodora]

it's the same with a lot of the scientific greats as well. aside from the domestic labor allowing them to focus on research, for many of them, their wives, mothers, and sisters literally helped them with their calculations, experiments, and theories as well with none of the recognition they were entitled to

okay but if you ever see a male creative who had a string of great work and then everything else he did was dogshit, go to the "personal life" part of his wikipedia and look at his relationships. you'll either find a major tragedy he didn't recover from (completely understandable) or, more likely, there was a woman in his life doing uncredited shit editing his stuff or contributing generally and she's not there anymore.

I told a friend about this phenomenon in literature and he called me weeks later like, I remembered what you said about women doing uncredited work when tim burton came up. he made a string of bangers then everything else just was nowhere near as good. the timeline matches perfectly to when he was with this german visual artist (lena gieseke). he's done some good work in collaboration, but if things were dug into I suspect we would find she did a lot more than people realise.

so yeah whenever you look around like wow women didn't work in history, or, women aren't auteurs, or, there just aren't as many great female writers - societal reasons for that aside, half the time they absolutely did.

[monarda-citriodora]

I hate them more every single day. how does someone even think this way???? and 2. this poor woman oh my god. how does it get to the point where you make yourself so useless your poor wife feels like she has to bribe you this way? this is so beyond disgusting for so many reasons it’s insane. AND TO CALL HER A NARCISSIST?

[monarda-citriodora]

very interested to read some of dworkin's work later this year bc at face value, i dont agree w the notion that erotica and kink is inherently harmful or dangerous & i very much believe that ppl should be able to create & read whatever fictional content they like so long as real, living ppl are not being exploited. however, based on my own observations without reading any official literature or discourse on porn & bdsm, i do think the porn *industry* and bdsm as a formalized social setting/community have major issues that reflect & exacerbate the misogyny of society at large

[monarda-citriodora]

I hate living in a baby daddy epidemic because WHY ARE Y'ALL NOT MARRYING YOUR BOYFRIENDS BEFORE HAVING KIDS WITH THEM😭

And I don't mean this in a religious "pre-martial sex is bad" way, but what makes you think a man who's hesitant to just MARRY you isn't gonna hesitate even more to raise kids with you??

Although I do think that the social norm and idea of marriage in general can be critiqued, it's ridiculous to think that someone who has an issue with just legally binding themselves to you (which they can undo) is gonna be perfectly fine raising ACTUAL living breathing children with you