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It seems familiar. This setting. The aura. Everything about it feels like a cycle of dread. Even Aphrodite was never enough. Why would I be?

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I don't wanna be someone who wasted his potential growing up. I wanna be someone who lived up to it. Or outgrown it. Where can I find it?

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“I will not think less of myself just because you do not know how to love me.”

— Unknown

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I'm always thinking. Always trying to think of ways. I can't turn off my mind.

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— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

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Illustrations by Stephen Gammell for Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark

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Evening Traffic by Andrey Surnov

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happy first Bella From Twilight Depression Month

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August 8, 2024.

Idk what to do next in life.

My savings are up, almost 300k PHP. I have a decent job. I don't like it, but it pays the bills. I sometimes miss the vibrancy of life as a teenager, where the hallways were your playgrounds. Grades were just the only problem you had in life. You always had companions, always. You had so many activities. You always reflect about life. There's always change. There's always people asking you to hang out outside. Now, it's rarely done. Everyone's so busy with their lives. Everyone has their own priorities.

25, and there's little to no change except the fact that I'm writing this for my future self, wondering where he'll be or what he'll be. As with everyone, I never knew I'd be at this point in life where I question every decision I made when I was young. Some call it the quarter life crisis, some call it just growing up. I don't even want to call it anything.

What's next for me? Dubai? Law school? Cybersecurity? I don't know.

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~ Van Gogh’s nights - most gifs come from the movie Loving Vincent (2017)

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source

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One day, when I am in another country. When I am regularized. I will be sending my picture here. When I'm in Italy. In New York. I'll be going there.