moniquegruber

[moniquegruber]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[moniquegruber]

women <3

that is all

[moniquegruber]

OK but like what if....

2-D seeing Ace; this guy that Murdoc himself approved for the band to be the bassist in his absence and being more than distrusting of him.

2-D wanting nothing more than Murdoc to get out because yes; things with him aren't great. yes; he'll never be able to sleep at night again without remembering Plastic Beach. yes; Murdoc fucking terrifies him but at least he knows somewhere deep down in that blackened, bargained-away soul of Murdoc's 2-D is sure that there's just a little love and affection in there. that Murdoc's whole outburst and dumping him a month or so before his arrest was just another off phase to their on-off dynamic.

2-D doesn't know if the same can apply to Ace. Even after he wakes up one night with no recollection of how he got there other than a foggy memory of doing way too many lines and downing way too many shots at a party they'd all gone to; knowing nothing other than the fact that he is barely considered clothed, and in Ace's bed.

2-D realizing that even though Ace has a temper like Murdoc; even though this new bassist mirrors Murdoc in many ways; he's not the violent type that Murdoc is. at least not anymore.

2-D writing Humility about that unsettling newness in his mind; writing Tranz about the fragile sense of identity he's building without Murdoc being tied to it just to try and figure out how far he can press his implications before someone calls him out on it. letting something in the back of his mind bloom waiting for him to realize that now; without Murdoc in the way; he's allowed to want for himself. he's allowed to let his eyes linger on Ace for just a few moments too long; write that heavy bassline just to let Ace have some fun with it; pull out his guitar for that jam session that's just him and Ace so he can see the way Ace vibes along with the music and sync along with his presence and pretend just for a second that they're something more.

2-D falling into bed again with Ace one night; fully sober; just testing his limits. seeing if he crosses that line, will he get hit with drawback?

2-D waking up the next morning and writing Souk Eye about Murdoc.

2-D getting shitfaced and sobbing on Ace, letting everything pour out; and regretting his choice the second he sees Ace walk away and pull into himself; so worried he's cut off any chance at this something new between them.

2-D writing Fire Flies about it. Breaking down into into tears and running out of the recording booth in the middle of their first take because he met Ace's eyes for just a second too long and suddenly everything was too much.

2-D getting found by Ace half an hour later; flinching as he expects Ace to start smashing his zombie movies in outrage; pleasantly surprised as all Ace does is put one into the player and sit down next to 2-D on a beanbag to watch. not pressing, because he realizes 2-D needs the space to process his thoughts and calm down.

2-D kissing Ace and pleading with him not to disregard the start to something they'd had before; the only response he gets being a kiss to the inside of his wrist and a 'not until we've given it a proper go, Dee'.

2-D realizing just how much he needed to be without Murdoc to begin to heal.

[moniquegruber]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[moniquegruber]

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

[moniquegruber]

Reblog to let Noodle commit arson