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[monkeydesdeath]

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me 1999 | dir. Jay Roach

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THE LADIES OF BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER (insp)

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(x) MAD TV Cartoon Network

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He is Daddy😍😍😍

Byakuya Kuchiki

Y’all already know what it is

My nigga needs no introduction, but just in case some of y’all are in denial imma do it anyway

This full course meal is Byakuya “You don’t want no smoke” Kuchiki

Omg he was deflee my favorite soul reaper

Like y’all don’t understand

My brothers hated when he showed up, cause I use to act a damn fool

My nigga was handing out L’s using flowers

Fucking flowers

Bitch you can’t tell me that ain’t badass

How the hell you lose to nigga using Cherry Blossoms

I’ll tell you how

Byakuya Kuchiki was that nigga

He was deadass about to kill his sister for breaking a rule

Idc if she was adopted or what

Any nigga that would kill they blood is a nigga I would not throw hands with

Because they clearly don’t give a damn and have no problem fucking you up

But then again he did take a blow to the chest for Rukia

So he got a heart……

I still wouldn’t fuck with him though

I’m not saying I’m happy that my girl Hisana died

I’m just saying that at least now I won’t go down as being a home wrecker

And the divorce would’ve been terrible

So at least now he can blow my back out without a care in the world

You gotta think about them positives

Can we talk about his fit

It may look basic but you best believe everything he got on is designer

The scarf alone is worth ten mansions

My nigga is the head of his clan, you can’t tell me he don’t got money out the ass

He looks annoyed all the time because he don’t have time for broke nigga problems

I know he carry wet wipes everywhere

In the words of Nicki Minaj

“Couple wet wipes case a bum try to touch me, Ewe”

His hair stayed laid, especially them edges

He just oozed rich nigga shit

It’s been a hot little minute since I watched Bleach

One thing I do remember is that it was full of snacks

Ichigo was a snack

His daddy was a snack

His friends were snacks

All the soul reapers were snacks

I was a thirsty hoe every episode

I really just want to know why nobody tried to spit game to my boy

I mean yea he’s a widower, but that just means he’ll protect you more and has hella love to give you

In my report I showed you why I would have no problem turning into a pretzel for Byakuya

Girl he could make my thighs touch my ears and show me the promise land

Lord knows I’ll never see it in person

Then again I ain’t as flexible as I use to be

So I’m about to go stretch, you never know when somebody’s son or daughter is trying to turn you into a lawn chair and eat you like they last meal

That’s my tip for the day my babies

Well would you look at that

My slow ass finally got around to doing another post

The thirst gods have answered

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He's number 1

When he got serious you know you back up

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Vash the Stampede

Y’all already know who it is, this man is one of the founding daddies

My man was clapping cheeks and dropping panties since the old days

It’s my number one blond daddy Vash “I don’t need a bullet to shoot you down” Stampede

I think he was my first blond daddy, but don’t take that to heart cause y’all know ya girl a little hoeish

Can we talk about a fucking outfit

Carmen Sandiego who, I don’t know that bitch

This is how you rock a fucking red coat bitch

His drip was on a whole nother level

I want his whole fit, especially the fucking shades

I’ll be drowning bitches in my drip

I can see it now

It’ll be sink or swim around me at all times

I should also mention that he started my thirst for anime men in red coats

Idk what it is but when I see a red coat my meow turns into seaworld

I don’t make the rules

Can we talk about how goofy he was

Like he was silly as shit

I’m also weak to humor, like if you can make me laugh you have my heart

Like being fine is good and all but I can’t see you if I’m laughing my ass off at a joke you told

Again I don’t make the rules I just follow them

How he catch that damn sandwich in his mouth

My nigga got skills that’s how

Idk if I should call him a undercover goat or not

Like yea he was wanted and had that big ass bounty

But all the times we’ve seen him he never killed anyone and didn’t use his gun

Instead my nigga was using random ass things he found or was just making the people who was after him hurt themselves

And they should be so embarrassed, like that nigga stayed hopping around making them hurt each other

Just sad

So I guess he’s undercover at times

You know what was so unbelievable about this show

The fact that not one bitch tried to hop on his dick

Like bitch do y’all see this man

His eyes are bluer than the US waters

You telling me that not one bitch wanted to pop that pussy for a real nigga

Like I would deadass 360 no scope a bitch for that dick

At least I wouldn’t have to compete with anybody

So I guess that’s a good thing

I just don’t believe that not one girl would want him to pound her walls in

That’s why I couldn’t be in anime

I’ll stay fucking

Talk about big dick energy

Bitch when he turned serious I knew it was about to go down

Like do y’all remember when he just start up bust a cap in Legato’s ass while he was talking

I was a little mad when Vash ended up killing him because he broke his vow and I didn’t know how to handle that

Like Legato straight up bashed my Rem and drug her for filth

Than you got Millie and them about to die

Hell my niggas back was against the wall

I would’ve pulled the damn trigger too, but then again I’ve been told that I can be quite heartless at times

So don’t hold me to that

In the end Vash could have my entire body and I wouldn’t complain

Like he’s a good all around man to have

He’s goofy and caring

But he’s also not scared to get shit popping when needed

Let me go rewatch Trigun and reminisce about how fine this whole meal with a side of dessert was

[monkeydesdeath]

“I smile to show the pressure of heroes and to trick the fear inside of me.”  ★ Toshinori Yagi | Aka All MIGHT | ★ requested by @jolly-toshi-j o((*^▽^*))o

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Friends vs best friends

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When there's to many in hell even for the devil

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Howl

Make way for the true Mac daddy of Studio Ghibli

If you don’t know who Howl is we gotta have a talk

Cause bitch he stole my fucking heart when I was little

I was still kinda new to anime when I first saw Howl’s Moving Castle

And I can honestly say a bitch was shook

Bitch look at the fierceness

Do you see how blue his eyes are

Omg 🤤🤤

I love me a man that can rock any hair color

You not slick either Howl, you better make sure Goku and Vegita don’t catch yo ass after stealing the Potara earrings from them

But now I’m wondering who had to fuse together for us to get Howl 🤔

Now let’s not forget that my husband was hella extra

My dude was really about to kill himself because he ended up dying his hair another color

All my girl Sophie did was clean up and organize his shit

Did all that for nothing

Acting like he can’t wear any fucking color and look like a entire fucking buffet

My nigga Calcifer was going through it

Like do y’all see my nigga with his piece of wood standing up

And while we’re on the subject can I say something

SOPHIE AND HOWL WERE MOTHERFUCKING GOALSSSSS BITCH

I’m sorry like this is not up for debate

Like they deadass loved each other through thick and thin

They liked each other as they were

Sophie was still willing to pop the pussy when he was a fucking half bird monster

Howl was still willing to dick Sophie down as a old ass woman

Like you can’t tell me nothing

Talk about real love

I’m still single because I expect somebody to love me like Howl did Sophie (And because I’m not really the cutest to most people)

But that’s neither here nor there

I don’t care what nobody say when I was younger I really wanted his room

Like look at all the interesting shit that’s going on around him

Just look at all the magic shit that’s around him

It’s really a nice room that I wouldn’t mind having

Look at it bitch

I swear I’ll marry anybody who can make this room for me

It’s a weird flex but like I said I don’t care 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

I wish I could find more gifs of him doing magical shit but y’all know Tumblr doesn’t like me

My bitch Sophie was scared as shit and tbh I don’t blame my girl

I’d probably pass the fuck out if he just scooped me outta nowhere and took off flying

Imma be honest with y’all

Howl’s ass was nothing but trouble

I mean yea he did save Sophie from two creepy guards

But my bitch got cursed because some thristy ass witch wanted Howl’s dick

If the dick got bitches putting curses on me I want it 😂😂

Look at how fucking nonchalant my nigga is

Even though a little later his ass almost gets stabbed in the face by a staff

If it wasn’t for my bitch Sophie coming through with the save

Like yass bitch you better protect yo man

This is honestly in my top 10 list of favorite movies, but don’t take that to heart cause I usually love every movie I see

I really just like the magic and just the story of the movie

But y’all not here for my ratings of movies

So in conclusion I would dead ass square up with the Witch of the Waste over Howl

And I could give a fuck about the kinds of curses she’ll throw my way

A bitch needs to polish up on her defense against the dark arts anyway

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Levi Ackerman

Levi “I might be short but I’ll fuck you up” Ackerman

Also known as Levi “If you get blood on my outfit you cleaning that shit up”

Now I’m just going to come out and say this

Levi is shorter than the men I usually date

I mean he’s 5’2 I think

It’s says his height is 160 cm so if I’m doing the math right that equals 5’2

I mean I don’t think I’m that much taller than him considering I’m 5’6

You know what never mind 😐

I fucking hate my height 😫

Now if you didn’t know I’m about to tell y’all something that’s very important about short people

You are not to fuck with short people under any circumstances

Them little motherfuckers are like some gremlins

They’re closer to hell so in other words they don’t got shit to lose

All that built up anger is why they can’t grow

I mean look at Levi my nigga stayed fucking people up

We all remember that iconic scene where Levi beat the absolute shit out of poor Eren

Look at this shit

He is fucking that nigga up

And do y’all see his signature kick at the beginning

I mean at that point I would’ve just played dead

Like why is that nigga trying to reach up and stop him

You then already lost just take that L and keep it going

I just know that nigga is either dead or has a concussion after that ass beating

Y’all might hate me for saying this but before I actually started watching the show I thought Levi was the main character

I know it’s terrible but like I said it was before I watched the show

I actually just love how fucking fabulous he looks in this gif

He knows he’s a bad bitch

Levi walks like his dick is big and I’m starting to think that’s where all his height went

That’ll take a bitch by surprise right there

It’s kinda like how most people don’t expect skinny dudes to have a big dick

But then again I wouldn’t know considering I’m a child of god

Levi was like bitch don’t touch me

Y’all already know he spent all day cleaning that damn shirt

Like do you see how white that damn shirt is

That can’t be just bleach alone

You know it was hand washed too

He sliced that niggas hand fast as fuck

And he just did it so nonchalant

I need to go catch back up on Attack on Titan

I honestly never understood why people were still willing to fight Levi

I mean this is the same nigga that was fucking up giant cannibals

The fucking Titans were as tall as fucking buildings

And have y’all seen them things run 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️

Bitch I would’ve died from laughing before they got to me

Look at him that nigga turned into a spinning ball of death

If I could be in any anime I choose it damn sure wouldn’t be this bitch

Cause nine times out of ten my clumsy ass would hit a tree and die

Then it’s a chance that my body won’t make it back cause they’ll probably dump that bitch just to get away

Just like they did Petra

Imma be honest with you chief I ain’t trying to die and end up as titan shit

I would say I’d rather clean but that would be a lie

Hell I’m more likely to die from exhaustion then actually clean the room how he wants

Cause that nigga be setting some impossible standards

Knowing me I’ll probably be trying to go on patrol or hide rather than clean

But I’ll probably get caught and I’m really not trying to get fucked up by Levi

His punches and kicks look like it hurts

I’m definitely not try to lose no fucking teeth either

I feel a headache coming in just thinking about that ass whooping

I would much rather be on my hands and knees taking dick not scrubbing floors

Levi has had a fucked up life

It’s not to bad when you compare him to others that will not be named (I’m looking at you Guts)

But it’s still a life I wouldn’t wish on nobody

My nigga lost his momma

Farlan and Isabelle

His whole scouting squad

The nigga is just bad to be around

I’m slick starting to think that he’s sacrificing niggas to keep his good looks

Cause let’s be honest do we really know how old he is

I mean he gotta be in his mid thirties maybe forties and he’s still kicking ass

Levi is the only nigga I know that would stab somebody and be mad when they get blood on him

Like my nigga what did you expect was gone happen

Did you think the blood was going to stay in the body, like I need answers

It doesn’t help that he talks hella shit as he’s whooping yo ass

Like I already then lost feeling in my face and body

I do not need you talking about how disgusting my blood is right now

You can’t wait until I’m dead or maybe unconscious

I ought spit on yo damn shoes bitch

Something tells me that I’m going to have to start making different parts for these because of the damn ten picture limit

But I think y’all got the gist of it for now

The question though is would I let him fuck

And the answer to that silly question is…….. HELL YEA

Why the fuck wouldn’t I

Y’all thought just cause he short he can’t the pussy

Shiddd ain’t no height limit bitch

But there is an age requirement I should probably just throw that out there

Now that I think about I really shouldn’t have to say that, but hey you never know

The only problem that might come in is if he’s like the dude from Fifty shades of grey

Now I’m into some freaky shit but I ain’t that damn freaky

So you can keep that damn candle wax and all that other shit away from me. I’m in it for the pleasure not the pain my nigga so you can go ahead and put that damn riding crop away. 😐😐😐😐😐Y’all weren’t going to tell me that there’s a 100 text block limit. Y’all hoes was just gone let me find it out for myself huh. I really am going to have to start making two parts to these.

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#A pure boy that will kill anything that harms Sabrina

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which terry are you today?

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Alucard (Hellsing)

Since it’s Spooky Season I’ll do a couple of scary daddies

And at the top of the list is Alucard “A period don’t stop nothing but a sentence “

He wasn’t my first vampire daddy but he is my most memorable one

Simply because he gave no fucks, like he had none to give

Oh and he’s definitely the definition of Big Dick Energy

I just know his dick was out of this world

Look at that fucking silk press bitch

You know he got money out the ass

Like I just know that suit designer asf

Now let me just tell y’all this

I was young asf watching this

So y’all know a bitch was hella confused and scared

Like bitch I prayed after every episode I watched

I thought his ass was going to get me

It didn’t help that I was a whole virgin and I just knew I was gone get snatched up

But as I got older bitch

I didn’t care I was like you can eat me like a blood bag

Just make sure you watch yo teeth

He still scary asf though

By the way I know I’ll feel his tounge in my chest

Like do y’all see that length

By God Jesus

I would never and I mean NEVER ever want to fight Alucard

Bitch I would rather throw hands with my grandma then fight him

She would just have to get this work and gone own about her day

And afterwards I’ll ask her what she’s cooking for Sunday dinner

This nigga can turn his arm into a fucking demonic dog

And while we’re on the subject Baskerville was the head fucking dog

It wasn’t a dog that could beat him

Let me tell y’all about these two bitches

Omg I would curb stomp THE fuck out of these two bitches

These two bitches will forever catch these hands if I ever see them

I hate they bitch ass

Like Jan bitch ass really tried to end my bitch Integra

Oh by the way y’all should definitely check out Team Four Star’s page

Because their parody of Hellsing is funny as shit

I’m not lying I be having tears running down my face watching that

You know what Tumblr is going to have to run me my fade

Cause I’m so sick of this bullshit

Why the fuck is there no fucking gifs of Alucard in his Vlad form

Like bitch Vlad could wreck the fuck out of my walls

My uterus is his forever

So that’s the first spooky daddy down

I’m still mad that I wasn’t able to do my other two

So I’m about to go watch black blood brothers and thrist over my other two vampire daddies

And probably cry

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Nun & Devil

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She is a Bad Bitch

Yoruichi Shihōin

Yoruichi “Fuck a sword you gone get these hands” Shihōin

Yoruichi is one of the top bitches of the Bad Bitch Community

She came out the womb a bad bitch

Now when it comes to the hands department, my bitch in unmatched

She has to be on ha shit if she fighting niggas with swords

Like my bitch was already at a disadvantage

But that just proves that she can’t be fucked with

You think I’m about to square up against a bitch that just kicked somebody’s ass that had a whole sword

Hell Nawl

That bitch wins regardless

Now let me just say this

I’m not gay or bisexual

But Yoruichi could hit this anyway she wanted

Like if I was allowed to fuck any girl I wanted

I would 100-10 let her pop this pussy

You can’t tell me she ain’t no top

She would fuck you and yo nigga with no problem

Yoruichi is my bisexual queen and you can’t change my mind about that

My bitch don’t got no shame

She knows ha body poppin

If you got it flaunt it bitch and Yorichi knows she got it

She blessing anybody that sees her body

She is the definition for big dick energy

Yoruichi came in like fuck all that talking bitch you gone run me my fade

She came in like a fucking wrecking ball

My bitch was coming for his neck

Yoruichi squared up against the so call strongest villain without a fucking care

She treated this nigga like he was a unnamed extra or some shit

Bitch even in ha cat form she is with the shits

Like do you see that shit

She broke that fucking sword and is looking at Soi Feng like she dare ha to try that shit again

I see death in them eyes

I honestly just wish we saw more of her

Like we got a couple of moments

But we didn’t get that much

And if you don’t read the manga you’ll never know that my bitch got a whole nother form

Like I’m mad

When do I get to see this on my screen at home

I’m ready to straight clown some niggas who swear all the men the strongest

Y’all just don’t know how hard it is growing up in a house of niggas

I be the only one rooting for the females of the show

She’s just flawless like it’s no words to describe it

She is that bitch

You ain’t never gone be able to take that from her

When she shows up she shows out

My bitch comes to snatch souls

It’s a bonus that she’s a Woc

Like my girl gave me hope

Cause let’s be honest, we don’t really get a lot of love in anime

Yoruichi is my first female love and I have no regrets

I’m not gay by any means but for her I’ll be a little curious 😏😏

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Me when I wake up late for class

We’re on our way