monkeysandplaybills

[monkeysandplaybills]

[monkeysandplaybills]

alright trans ppl we're returning to the fucking sea until shit gets better lets go everyone

[monkeysandplaybills]

🦀 ⬅️🆑🆎

[monkeysandplaybills]

[monkeysandplaybills]

went to trader joe’s today and my cashier handed me my 2.55 in change and pointed at the clock which read 2:55 and said “look at that. that’s liquid time… serendipity… have a nice ride”

[monkeysandplaybills]

that image of donald trump with the like, 4 dozen hamburgers is still the funniest thing in the world

[monkeysandplaybills]

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

[monkeysandplaybills]

Armpit hair is such a green flag to a homosexual, the second I see a girl with pit hair I lose my fucking mind

[monkeysandplaybills]

Retrospective

[monkeysandplaybills]

LIghthouse keepers will never be memorialized like soldiers or cops because they didn’t kill anyone (as part of their job) but they’re like, heroes who saved untold lives through discipline and self-sacrifice doing an impossible lonely job and I’m worked up about  it 

[monkeysandplaybills]

An absolutely CRITICAL part of mermaid social etiquette is to ALWAYS swim around head height with other mermaids. This prevents both mermaids from harming each other via their tails, fins, and other appendages.

This etiquette is also intended to symbolize equality – regardless of whether you’re a coastal mermaid, a small freshwater mermaid, or a 50ft tall deep sea mermaid, everybody is deserving of equal stature.

[monkeysandplaybills]

sorry this is by and far the funniest way to announce you’ve lost a leopard

[monkeysandplaybills]

That white lady and her stupid 3 sword style.

[monkeysandplaybills]

literally all jobs rn are just like: ohhh were URGENTLY hiring!!! we need employees soooo bad!!! NOT YOU . we need employees right now omgggg stopppp we need workersss…. not you tho i hope you die in a fire forever but omggg nobody wants to work anymore… we are urgently hiring where are all the workerssss…. UGH OMG STOP FUCKING ASKING FOR A JOB !!!! WE DONT WANT YOU !! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE . anyway. we are URGENTLY hirin-

[monkeysandplaybills]

“lesbians are coming out”, a poster by see red women’s workshop, 1982

[monkeysandplaybills]

My little sister's new boyfriend got a tattoo for her about a month ago and he wanted matching tattoos so he decided to get uh. The tattoo on her ankle of her ex boyfriend's name that she hasn't gotten covered up yet

[monkeysandplaybills]