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After the vision and prophetic word I received and heard from Jesus today. All I can and will say at this time.
Is this-Be prepared for anything and everything. Hold your loved ones close. Pray 🙏🏼 🤲🏼 hard. For you see, big and unusual changes are surely on the way and what’s coming about next will take place next without f a i l.
-Jessica
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Ladies. If you don’t have these kinds of gal friends in your life; you need new friends💕☺️
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There’s so many things I could write on here, but..what I will write ✍️ is this: I am truly so very grateful 🥹 for everything Jesus has done in my life. How’s he’s healed ❤️🩹 my heart, restored my joy and hope again and again; He’s given me a true zest and a zeal for life. For the Zoe God kind of life. 2024 has truly only just started with this only being the fourth month of the year.
And, I can’t help but sense or feel that much more is yet to take place. There are many more prophetic events that are truly unfolding all around us. biblical events are playing out in real time. Just as Father God parted the Red Sea 🌊, Jesus will be doing many miracles, signs, and wonders within these upcoming days. Don’t be surprised at what you see in the natural or in the news.
For Remember, these are all the beginning of the prophetic birth pangs that was already promised and prophesied about in the Bible.
Pick up a Bible, buy a journal 📓 or several📔. Begin to truly after the very heart of Jesus with all of your heart. Buckle up and get ready. The prophetic timetable and what’s gonna happen next will seem just a little bit bum py. Don’t be surprised. Or again, Shocked.
Remember, that absolutely nothing ever surprises the very heart of God. There is a prophetic tidal waves 🌊 of God’s glory on the way. The awa kening isn’t coming. Oh no. It is already here. Get ready. For the greatest days are upon you saints of the sovereign most high God. What a time to be here on this earth. We get to show others the majesty, the honor, and the very glory of God.
This is the season to go on prophetic treasure hun ts. Look for the gold others. In other words-to speak forth the radiantly beauty of what the heart of the Father sees in you.
Jesus is absolutely and is radiantly in love with you. You are all so precious, beloved, loved, cherished, adored by the heart of the Father. I can sense even right now. Just how much Jesus loves each and every one of you. And, I’m weeping 😭 at the truly rich magnitude and depths of his true love for you. You thought you knew love of what it means to be adored or loved by another. The love of God only forever magnifies that. Why? Because the love of Jesus is endless. It is eternal. It is never ending. Jesus will never ever stop loving each and everyone of us. He woos us. He beseeches for us. He cries for us. Jesus gave his life so that we could be his forever. To be forever betrothed and wed to Jesus. Jesus passionately and truly intricately pursues us. He looks at us with unconditional love personified. He will never ever stop loving us. Jesus is the eternal forever bridegroom and we are his bride. The wonderful beautiful bride of Christ.
I pray if you don’t know Jesus as your Savior and as your Lord; that you’ll call on Jesus today.
Oh man 👨🏻. I feel Jesus presence.
Better days are coming.
Each day is wonderful. Because of Jesus:)
Jessica
Jessica Wolf 🐺
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So truly thankful 🥹 that Jesus 🙏🏼🤲🏼✝️💕🥹🥲☺️ has given me His forever fullness of joy🤩. Now and forevermore. Amen 🙏🏼
Wrote this two years ago in 2022: But God. I don’t know any other way to start this post. The articles I posted below are what I could relate to just several a Sundays ago.
I had an encounter with Jesus that still just stops me in my tracks. I don’t expect anyone to read this with a dry eye, nor do I think you’ll be able to.
You see, I thought I was permanently emotionally broken and that was just how things were. I didn’t know that Jesus could completely free me from my cptsd.
Let’s go back to 2008. I had joined an internship that left me emotionally scarred and broken for at least one decade.
Fast forward to 2022-The next moment…is what brings me to my knees in thankfulness to Jesus. Jesus asked me audibly if I wanted to be made whole. He asked me this at least three times…if not more🥺. My first time thought was, ‘yes, of course Jesus. But if you heal me of my cptsd; who will I be?’ He responded back immediately, ‘that’s not what I asked you. I asked you if you wanted to be made whole. It was a command. Not a question. Do you want to be made whole?’
I said, ‘yes, Jesus😭. I’m done being broken and angry on the inside all the time. I just want to stop hurting.’
Seconds later, but I’m sure it was instantaneously, I saw myself back at go ministries international-a part of where my cptsd was stemmed from. I was all alone in the woods….just done with everything. It was during the com m unison game the core leaders had instigated. It was pouring outside. I had found a perfect rock. Jesus spoke to me again, ‘I sent someone right then to stop you from attempting to end your life. The timing could not have been more crucial than you’ll understand. The person I sent over; had no idea they were part of saving your life. I worked through them to rescue you.’
Jesus than showed me another scene. He asked me..’do you remember when you were so depressed and a su icidal when you were sneaking showers so no one would know what you were planning? I sent my guardian and ministering angels to you at that exact moment just as you had the r a z o r poised at your arm and they took those things out of your hands-saving your life. You had simply thought right than that you just changed your mind. Nope, there was a war going on for your destiny. Little did you know just how close you were to end ing your life right than.’ I, of course am bawling my eyes out at that point. I could feel years of pain, heaviness, and heartache melting away. It wasn’t a small trickle of emotions; it was a flood. I wept as I had never wept before.
Jesus spoke something else to my heart. He said to me, ‘My beloved daughter Jessica, you have spent years removing the spiritual grave clothes off of others; revealing a gorgeous gown or tuxedo for others. It’s beyond time that the spiritual grave clothes come off you too. It’s time for you to really live.’ In that moment, I started seeing chains ⛓ being broken in the realms of the spirit.
Jesus asked me another question. He said, ‘it’s time you to stop hating your mom. She was parenting you out of her own brokenness. You must fully forgive her. The pain and hurt that you’ve held onto over the many years-has been destroying you. Let that pain go. Forgive her. Love her from a distance.’
I turn to mike and tell him, ‘I’m not hurting anymore. I don’t feel angry any more. Jesus just now healed my cptsd. Completely. The pain is gone.’
There’s a softness around my eyes that I haven’t seen in quite some time. Ok, it’s been years. I don’t need to keep walls up anymore. I can be free to feel and not shut down.
I’ve been weeping more than I ever have. But, in a good way. I no longer feel the need to hold back my tears or to prevent myself to cry. I’m finally my age at 35 and not as someone who’s ancient. I feel younger in a good way. Jesus has done this. He’s done all of it.
So when I say-but God. I mean every word of it.
Jesus saved me. It’s that simple. I am here
For a purpose. I’m still learning and discovering what it all means. But. Now, I am
Whole. Jesus can do the impossible in your life, too. I know this to be true…because he’s done it in mine🥺
Love you all,
Jessica.
https://themindsjournal.com/9-ways-beautifully-broken-girl-loves-differently/
https://themindsjournal.com/what-it-means-to-fall-in-love-with-a-girl-who-is-beautifully-broken/
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When I think about all that Jesus has carried me through & What happened to me in 2008, reminds me that no matter how challenging; with Jesus by my side; I can overcome everything. Yes, every word of this is true. I’m not a victim. I no longer have cptsd. Because Jesus healed me. I’m an overcomer. Read what I shared and you’ll learn why. I love you guys. Thank you all for praying and believing in me🙏🏼😭🥹: This is my go ministries international story: this is what I remembered when I asked Jesus to remind me of the things my brain blacked out for many years. *Warning ⚠️. What happened in 2008 was intense. What you are about to read isn’t for the faint of heart or younger readers. Please be advised.
>
> One memory I just now remembered was the Christmas production in 2008. we put on at lwcc, in that drama I was the emo/goth girl who was a cutter. Somehow, they had chosen to mock me even if they didn’t know I was suicidal for months and had fought the desire to slit my wrists.
Wrote this a few years ago: I’m just so thankful to JESUS and having a 🥵 hot mess moment right now😭🥺.
This might or not be in my upcoming go ministries international story...that happened in 2008 but, I am forever grateful to the intern or staff member who wasn’t fully aware just how depressed I was while at boot camp during the game at night.
(If you wouldn’t have walked over when you did- to where I was hiding in the woods during the pelting raining; and let me know that the meeting was starting. I would have successfully slit my wrists. I had a found a sharp rock and I was ready to end it all). I would have left go. But. It would have been in a body bag.
So. To whoever you are. I am eternally forever grateful Jesus had you walk over to me when you did🙏🏼🤯😭. Thank you. Jesus had you save my life.
> *Why did you decide to join go.
> As long as I can remember, I always wanted to pray for and minister to others. I wanted to show them Jesus. To show them His heart. When I saw that go ministries international they had a youth program; I wanted to learn everything I could, bless others back. So many precious young people are hurting and they just need someone to care. To reach out to them. To let them know they are never alone. To show them Jesus.
>
> 2. What were your first thoughts once you were an intern?
>
> The day before go started, I was with my family at living word Christian center. The core leadership seemed to care about me. They were so kind and seemed to be loving. Other people had a different thought. They told me, “Jessica, are these fake faces or faith faces.” At that point, I honestly did not know. I had wanted to believe the best in them. Little did I know, how truly wrong I would be the next day.
> My parents and family, had already dropped me off and were driving away. I assumed everything would remain happy. Seconds later, the leadership started screaming for all of us interns to get to the front lawn. I didn’t know why I felt complete terror. All I knew and could feel at that moment, was this: my hands went completely numb. I felt like throwing up as we were screamed at to start doing up downs and sit-ups, push-ups, the bear crawl, running back and forth. Many on my left and on my right were throwing up and passing out. The leaders didn’t care. They screamed at them to get back up.
> Next, we were told to fit as much or little into a duffle bag. The next thing we were told was to file into the vans silently. We were not allowed to talk to anyone. We were told to keep our eyes straight not looking in any direction. The bus ride to Wisconsin was several hours long. When we arrived that night, it was already dark out. They screamed at us to file into formation. For years, the memories have seemed like a bad dream. The distant memories blurred into dreams.
>
> 3. What were your most vivid memories of go. Good, and bad. How did it affect you?
>
> Alright, as soon as we all were on the line. They began spray painting numbers onto a T-shirt. I can’t remember what my number was. But, during that week; that number was my name. The week, I was no longer Jessica. I was nothing more than a number. We were told that we had to carry our bible, water battle, a stick, and an egg. We were forced to run far past the point of what seemed normal human endurance. At one point, I thought my heart and lungs would give out from all the running. I was told by one of the leaders that I had to keep running until they said to stop.
> The next thing I remember, was doing military style exercises that involved balancing on a small metal string, I slipped and the metal string slapped into my leg, it had cut my leg deeply into the bone. The bone was exposed. Blood was gushing everywhere. I couldn’t limp, let along walk. But, we were told that the word can’t wasn’t allowed. So, despite the deep pain-the leaders didn’t show me any levels of compassion or mercy. I had to run with blood gushing down my leg. I couldn’t stop crying. After that we were forced to run up and down slippery stairs for 2 to three hours at least nonstop. After that, we were told that we had to carry a hundred pound cross up and down the stairs.
> The other memory that I can’t forget: being awoken out of sound sleep with a blow horn to my heart and being told to clean a building from top to bottom in the middle of the night. The nights turned into days. And the days turned into nights. The mere idea of food or even eating became unneeded to my weary and tired brain at that point. I didn’t want to throw up. Thankfully, I never did. But the feeling was horrible eating and being forced to eat everything on your plate. Then, you had to run. For hours. Or whenever they decided for us to stop running.
> I remember we had rock experiences, where we had to pick up huge boulders that were so sharp. The rocks began to cut my wrists and my arms. I was forced to wear long sleeves for weeks; because the leaders didn’t want people assuming that I’d cut my wrists.
> The next memory is very painful. They called it judgement day. We all had to line up once again and wait our turn. When my name was called, I had to recite from memory Ephesians 6:10-12 from the message or amplified version. But, if we forgot the verse at all-we would be pushed off the dock. Mind you, it was nighttime and freezing out. I was pushed off
> The dock twice, I walked back to my spot in line. I was freezing cold and I worried that I’d die of hyperthermia. I couldn’t stop shaking. No one asked me if I was alright. No one asked me how weak I felt or how numb my body had become. They simply screamed at me. They called me a failure.
> That night, I had to sleep in freezing, wet clothes. We weren’t allowed to shower they week. We were their slaves and how they treated us-we were nothing. They even took our cell phones away. Gee, wonder why.
> The next memory was the communist game. We were awoken once again out of sound sleep with a blow horn to our ears. It’s a miracle I didn’t go deaf or lose any hearing. We were told we were being arrested for being Believers in Jesus. And we had to find the hidden tracks before the other communists found them. We had to run in the freezing rain. I ran to a hiding spot. Somewhere deep in the forest. It was pelting rain. I huddled onto the grass and bawled my eyes out-laying in a fetal position. Telling myself that somehow I’d survive this. I asked Jesus to take me home that night. I wanted to find a rock or anything sharp and end it all. I was done.
> The next second, someone grabbed my arms and told me I was going with them. They brought us to a building where we had to sit completely still. No movement. Zero movement was allowed. We had been up for over 24 to 48 hours without sleep. Anyone who started to doze off had a blow horn to their ears. I kept slapping my cheek just to stay awake.
> We get back to the ranch in mora, Minnesota. We are told that daily we’ll have pt. Every morning at 5 or 5:30 sharp. Meet outside of the house. If we were late. We would have to write down Luke 16:10 100 times. If we failed, they’d add on another hundred more. That was only the beginning of the nightmare.
> One of the days of pt, I heard my back snap when we were doing up downs. I told one of the leaders that I couldn’t run anymore and she screamed at me. Threatening to punish me even worse for simply saying, “I can’t.”
> Fast forward to a month or two later, my confidence was already shot. Not to mention, I had lost 10-15 pounds at bootcamp. My ankles, legs, and feet were so swollen that I couldn’t even put socks on and my pants wouldn’t even fit. The physical breaking was terrible. But the emotional breaking nearly destroyed and almost killed me.
> I was told that I would be put on ministry probation. They prevented me from praying for anyone. I couldn’t speak to anyone unless they addressed me first.
> Only few of the people there showed me one ounce of kindness. I snuck showers, because I was so depressed that I want to slit my wrists. I had a plan to bleed out in the shower. So no one would know. Those thoughts went through my mind for those four to five months I was there.
> One night, the female leadership told us that we had to strip down to our bras and underwear. But, if any of the boys found out; we’d be writing sentences till our hands fell off. We were told to shower with other girls. I never did. I snuck showers.
>
> 4. When did you leave and when did you realize they were toxic?
>
> How go affected me. My dad said hi to me one Sunday. I didn’t call him as dad. I called him, sir. My dad broke down and cried. He looked at me, and said, “Jessica, I’m your father. Not sir. What did they do to you?”
> My mom pulled me into the church bathroom one night and said, “we’ve had enough of them treating you this way. We’re taking you back home to Hutchinson tonight. Lie if you have to. But, you’re not going back to go. We’ll leave your stuff there.” I lied to one of my leaders. I felt terrible. I cried the whole way home.
> When I got home. I called friends and they didn’t even recognize me. I didn’t act the same. I had nightmares and my room was blood red. Go gave me ptsd. I was in multiple inner counseling sessions. I’ve had many panic attacks. Flash backs. Different times where I would hyperventilate.
> The signs of go being a cult are obvious:
> *They tell you-that they are your family.
> *zero contact with the outside world.
> *they took our cell phones away.
> *they shut the water off.
> *they stopped communication with me after I left.
> I was told that I lacked faith. Reality: I ran out of money.
> But. Jesus has been healing my heart. I’ve forgiven the leadership. I pray what I have shared with you all today is a warning and an alert to the youth who might consider go ministries international. I’m sharing my story so you never have to attend or experience what myself or others have seen and heard. I want to spare you from this pain. And hold the hearts of the ones who are still suffering because of go or the ones who are stuck in go and don’t know how to get out. Know that I’m praying for you. I’m praying for the complete healing of your heart. That there is so much love in your heart. Never forget who you are. That’s what go wants. But, Jesus wants you happy and whole. I want my life to seen as someone who helps others escape from the trenches and hold you close. You each have giftings and talents. Don’t allow go ministries international to ever steal your purpose or your identity. You are not a mistake. God loves you. He has never stopped loving you. I pray that you can feel Jesus heart even in my message.
> -Jessica
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This is why I gave my first ever kiss of all time to my wonderful husband Michael Wolf 🐺 as a priceless gift 🎁 and treasure on our wedding day 11 years ago, when I was 27 years old, at the altar; after the pastor had announced my husband and I, as husband and wife:)
Michael-baby,
You were and you are forever well worth the wait. I waited for you for nearly 30 years and I’d gladly wait for you all over again-I love, cherish, respect, and adore all that you are. And, I always will💕.
Love your wife,
Jessica Wolf:)
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