mooncoveythoughts

[mooncoveythoughts]

Mooncovey: The Moon and The Sun Tarot

This is building onto my Yin Yang post that I wrote before which you can find here.

The Yin symbolizes the Moon and the Yang symbolizes the Sun. Then I began to think about the Tarot Card reading that Min Ho's mother gave him which I wrote about earlier that you can find here. Within the Tarot cards there are two Major Arcana which are The Moon and The Sun. These two cards are deeply interconnected forming a powerful symbolic pair. Speaking to cycles of growth, consciousness, and emotional truth. These two cards are also deeply entrenched in the symbolism and meaning of the Yin Yang dynamic. The two balances one another and compliment one another.

That being said. Let's look at the cards and what they symbolize as well as how they fit the individual journeys Kitty and Min Ho are on... and how the other seems to be a big part of that journey.

The Moon

The Moon card is rich with symbolism. Illusion, intuition, confusion, dreams, and the subconscious mind are all parts of it. The Moon is often the central symbol of the unconscious. It reflects light rather than producing it, symbolizing reflected truth and hidden realities.

Often times when people get this card it signifies a journey or a set of choices a person has. A warning that not everything is at it seems. Or there is fear and anxiety over unresolved emotional issues. It can be a reminder that the gut feeling you are ignoring is something to pay attention to. Or to be patient because eventually all will be revealed in time if you are patient enough.

The Moon & Min Ho Moon

I will be straight up honest all the different interpretations of what the Moon card can signify for someone works with Min Ho.

Illusion and Hidden Truths: Min Ho comes across as a rich and self-absorbed heartthrob. As the show continues to unfold we see that there is pain, loneliness, vulnerability, emotional depth, and a soft heart that he tries his best to protect. Min Ho Moon is not what he seems to be. There is more to him than first impressions.

Emotional Confusion & Repressed Feelings Min Ho tries to hide his feelings during Season 1. Then tries to hide how much those feelings he expressed to Kitty mattered in Season 2. Repressed feelings leads to more pain and more blindspots which is what Min Ho essentially did to himself. He is learning to be patient, to trust his gut, and to allow the clarity that only comes from introspection and time to show him the way.

A Journey Toward Emotional Honesty Min Ho's journey is about growing emotionally. Acknowledging the side of himself that he often hides. Becoming vulnerable and connected to the people around him. His journey is about facing himself. What triggered this journey? The Sun (KItty). The work though... he's doing it.

Min Ho Moon’s name even literally ties him to the symbolism of The Moon, which deepens the connection. His character arc mirrors the card’s journey: moving from illusion to emotional clarity, learning to trust vulnerability, and uncovering hidden truths*.*

The Sun

The Sun represents clarity, joy, vitality, and enlightenment. It is honestly one of the most positive and life-affirming cards you can possibly get in the tarot deck. Much like Kitty herself, the little meddler.

Often times the Sun tarot card displays a child on a white horse. This symbolizes innocence, freedom, and a rebirth of the self. Usually it also has sunflowers which symbolizes growth, wamrth, and loyalty to light.

This card brings hidden things into view. Gives a person a renewed strength and clarity of purpose. Reaching goals, joy in relationships, and personal breakthroughs. Returning to play with the inner child that is full of wonder, playfulness, and emotional openness.

The Sun & Kitty Song Covey

Self-Discovery & Identity The Sun is the perfect coming of age story which is exactly what Kitty is doing. She starts off thinking she knows who she is and knows what she wants, but then gets thrown off her certainty with a few surprises. Including The Moon (Min Ho). The story is finding her way back to finding authentic confidence in herself and who she is with the new knowledge she is gaining. Including parts of her identity and personality that she had yet to fully explore.

Her Personality Kitty often with her intuition showcases light on things that people have yet to see. Stella being shady. Dae and Yuri's fake relationship. Alex being Jina's son. The advice she gives Min Ho and others as well. She does have a superpower of showing people what needs fixing and what needs revealing. Even if people might not be ready to face that truth yet.

Connection to Korean Heritage Sun can also represent returning to one's roots with joy. Chasing her mom's legacy and her ancestry. Is a part of the Sun's journey and a big part of Kitty's journey as well.

Kitty is The Sun in full bloom—learning to shine brightly, not for someone else, but for herself. Her journey is about stepping into her light after walking through the shadows of misunderstanding and misplaced expectations.

The Moon (Min Ho) & The Sun (Kitty)

Kitty's arc serves as a counterbalance to Min Ho's journey. He moves from confusion to acknowledgement, Kitty moves from certainty to surprise, and then to a deeper authentic clarity. Simply put... they are both becoming their more authentic selves.

Kitty's sunny confidence is shaken as she faces complex realities. This is making her doubt herself, but by the show's end I imagine she will be authentically strong and confident in handling life.

Min Ho's cool detachment is pierced as he confronts his true feelings which is that he cares a whole lot more than he wants. He cares about his friends, about Kitty, about his family, and he is becoming more authentic as he begins to express that more openly.

Kitty needs emotional depth and vulnerability which Min Ho has offered in Season 2. Min Ho needs openness and clarity which Kitty is a natural at.

Their connection isn't just about romance--it's about catalyzing each other's growth. That's a classic tarot-coded love arc.

The love that they have is not instant, but grows gradual as they learn more about themselves it seems they find one another with more clarity. The two of them as a pair have been built on emotional challenges, not surface level drama. I think this relationship is deeply symbolic and deeply intentional.

The Last Name Moon The creators kept the Min Ho's last name a secret in Season 1. Probably because the choice of Moon is quite symbolic and is tied into many aspects of Korean culture. The Moon is important in Tarot and in the Yin Yang. It is also important in the Red Thread Theory as well as the matchmaking god responsible for it is known as the old man under the moon.

Seems like The Moon (Min Ho) who was in episode 6 of Season 1 blinded by the Sun (Kitty) is now beginning to embracing the light she gives him. It seems like in Season 2 The Sun (Kitty) was surprised by the Moon (Min Ho) has now admitted how important he has become to her.

I see you show runners. I see you.

[mooncoveythoughts]

Mooncovey: Kitty's Support Syste

I love the emotional intimacy that is building between Min Ho and Kitty. One of the first things that comes to mind is how Min Ho comforts her and grounds her a couple of times in Season 2. This got me thinking about other heart-to-hearts that Kitty has had with her emotional support system. Min Ho does several things similar to those closest to Kitty when she is in a spiral or feeling stuck under the weight of confusion. 

1. Kitty’s Dad 

Kitty: I'm really confused.  Kitty's Dad: Well, that sounds about right for a 17 year old abroad for her junior year of high school. I’m sorry to hear you so down, Kitten, but you’re one of the strongest people I know. Kitty: Well I don't feel very strong right now.  Kitty's Dad: Well, you are. Just like your mom. And sadness and confusion that’s just part of growing up. You certainly sound like you’re growing.   

The way Kitty’s dad approaches his daughter is very warm and calm. He tries to normalize her confusion, connecting it to being a part of growing up and not that there is something wrong with her. Then grounds her by reminding her of who she is by connecting a common trait that she shares with her mom--her strength. 

2. Peter 

Kitty: All I do is ruin things for myself and for other people.  Peter: Hey, that is not true. Remember when you mailed out Lara Jean’s love letters? You not minding your business landed me the love of my life. Kitty, you have this killer instinct. It’s literally your superpower. So stop second-guessing yourself. Who cares if Min Ho wasn’t ready to hear what you had to say? It doesn’t mean you’re wrong.  Kitty: Thank you, Peter.  Peter: You are Kitty Song Fricking Covey. Don’t you forget it.  

The way Peter approaches Kitty is very encouraging and empowering. Definitely using past stories as a form of pep talk to hype her up and restore her confidence. Reminding her of who she is--someone who has a superpower instinct about people and situations.  

3. Margot 

Margot: You did this.  Kitty**:** I know how important sisters are.  Margot: People always say I’m the most like Mom, but really you are. You bring people together. 

Margot approaches Kitty by offering her quiet praise with a sentimental tone. Margot reminds who Kitty is by pointing out that Kitty’s strength is that she brings people together. Even though at this moment Kitty was not vulnerable or in a spiral… I do feel like it was worth mentioning as Margot being the older sister might innately know that her sister needed to hear it. Sometimes older siblings just know when their younger siblings need praise. 

4. Q 

Q: So? Have you told Min Ho the news about you staying yet?  Kitty: Not yet.  Q: Oh, come on. Don't play blase. He flew your grandmother and your sister across the ocean. You basically saved his family. You two clearly have some epic thing going on here.  Kitty: I don't know if I would say "epic." I am just terrified. I mean.. what if he doesn't feel the same way anymore? Plus, Stella really screwed him up. Isn't it just too complicated?  Q: I think that's a question only you can answer. But if there is something you want to tell him, I happen to know he takes long walks in the sculpture garden around this time every day.  

Q approaches Kitty with a lot of insight with a warm and subtle tone. He encourages her to think for herself yet at the same time opens the door to encourage action with compassion. Q will accept whatever Kitty chooses to do, but he will give her a slight nudge in the right direction. Even though he does not verbalize something about Kitty to remind her of who she is… him putting the power in Kitty’s hands shows that he trusts her choices. 

5. Min Ho 

Kitty: I’m a terrible awful person.  Min Ho: No, you’re not.  Kitty: I’ve hurt a lot of people. Min Ho: Hey. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s impossible to keep emotions like that hidden. Take it from me. Good news is that once I admitted how I felt about you… I could move on. And…so will you. Kitty: You’re a really good friend. 

DIFFERENT SCENE 

Kitty: I use to think that I was like my mom in the best ways, but what if I'm like her in the worst ways.  Min Ho: Come on now. That’s not true. Oh I know quite a bit about Kitty Song Covey. She’s relentless and determined. She helped her sister find love in her own chaotic way, then traveled around the world so she could find it for herself. That’s how I know she… well… Well, that’s how I know you won’t give up on your family. Whether they want you to or not. . 

Min Ho in both of these scenes uses a gentle and honest tone displaying a great deal of empathy as well as protectiveness over Kitty. He reassures her that she is not a bad person, that the bad feelings will pass, and reminds her who she is. Min Ho reminds her that she is a good person, that she is determined, relentless, and someone that does not give up on people. Much like she did not give up on him with Stella in the last episode.  

Conclusion 

Kitty’s Dad, Min Ho, Peter, and Margot all validate Kitty’s emotions and experiences. None of them make her feel bad about how she feels or tell her to get over the situation. All of them take a moment to remind her of who she is and that she has the power to make some choices about her situation despite feeling lost and confused. All of them see her as someone amazing even if she might not see it at the moment. They see Kitty clearly and speak to her core identity, offer unconditional support, and are present with her in the moment without trying to fix her or fix her situation. Either a gentle nudge, a kind reminder, or some truth resetting, but all respect Kitty enough to figure it out on her own.  

LJ would also be on this list, but as she has yet to appear in XO Kitty, it is the only reason she was left off. Dae and Yuri have not been the people that Kitty has spiraled in front of yet. The times that she did… they both ran off angry with her about something. Or a kiss happened when really comfort should have been the goal. These two might be close and important, but they have yet to see the same kind of emotional intimacy as Kitty has with the five I mentioned above. 

This is also another reason that I feel like Min Ho is the right choice for Kitty and why I think that the writers are making him end game. Kitty’s Dad is the parental voice in her head. Margot is the motherly elder sister voice in her head. Peter is the brotherly voice in her head. Q is the best friend's voice in her head. What does that make Min ho? Her romantic partner.  

His advice and the way he comforts her though not trying to be romantic, ends up being romantic due to the intimacy of the moment. The level of observation shows he is emotionally attentive to her. The belief he has in her when she doesn’t believe it herself also feels like the kind of intimate faith someone places in a life partner.  

Kitty misses Min Ho when he is gone because of that emotional intimacy they have developed with one another over the semester. He gets her. He knows her. He respects her. It is shown in everything he does including his emotional support. 

All in all, Kitty has a rather grounding support system. One that validates and reminds her of who she is then allows her to fix her own problems.

[mooncoveythoughts]

Mooncovey: Symbolism - The Yin Yang

History & Symbolism

To do any analysis justice we must start with the foundations. I am fully aware most of you might know this already, but it is important to revisit before diving into some of the deeper themes I want to touch.

The first thing is that the Yin Yang originates from ancient Chinese philosophy. Then spread to other places in east Asia including Korea. It is an important symbol in Korean traditional thinking that has its influence in medicine, daily life, architecture, and religion. It is also the symbol on the South Korean flag though symbolically changed to red and blue.

The idea of the Yin Yang is how opposites are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world.

You have the Yin which symbolizes darkness, cold, passivity, and the moon.

Then the Yang which symbolizes light, heat, activity, and the sun.

The two sides are stronger together. They create harmony and balance--they compliment one another.

Personality and Story

Immediately why I enjoyed the Min Ho and Kitty dynamic is that I am a sucker for opposites attract. Subconsciously, I enjoy the idea that two people can both challenge and support one another. Min Ho and Kitty are definitely that. They approach life differently, but they have similar values which is important.

Min Ho being more of the Yin of the story is more cynical, cold at first, and more methodical in how he approaches life. Kitty is more of the Yang, because she is a force to be reckoned with exuding enthusiasm and the girl relentlessly makes things happen. Kitty helps Min Ho connect with others and show his more vulnerable side. Min Ho calms her down and provides safety. The two of them are great partners. The other thing that I notice is that they do try to elevate themselves as more important than the other. Min Ho came through for Kitty at the market place to help with her Great Aunt, but when given that credit he refuses to fully take it.

The other obvious symbolism between the two is who is the Moon and who is the Sun. Min Ho's last name is Moon. Kitty is literally the center of this story much like the Sun is the center of our universe.

Visual Story Telling

I spotted Kitty wearing a black and white Yin Yang heart necklace in Season 2, Episode 1. This set me on a hyperfocus thought obsession which led me to notice more black and white moments or seeming yin yang symbolism that intrigued me. These moments tend to happen in times of great change between Kitty and Min Ho.

LAX Airport:

Min Ho is mostly wearing black with a collar of white. He also has a bit of a snake design on the collar that is red. Which is the secondary color used for Yang (the Sun) and Blue is the secondary color for (Yin). Strangely enough in this scene Kitty is also wearing blue which might do two things in the story telling. It is Dae's color scheme, but also might be a secret nod to that Yin Yang. That part of it though, admittedly, might be me reading too much into it.

This though is a monumental scene, because Min Ho is the first character she sees and it is the first meeting between the two of them. The Yang being friendly while the Yin is being quite guarded in this situation.

2. Chuseok

Min Ho is wearing a black tank top and a mainly white apron. Still rather minor in its obviousness, but still something I wanted to point out. This is when Min Ho (the Yin) begins to thaw a little as they begin to realize they work really well together. Spending the whole day together as they put together this huge meal for their classmates. The friendship begins in this moment and some feelings were sparked here is as well.

3. "I wouldn't do that to a friend. or someone I care about. I just wouldn't" Scene

Min Ho is wearing a black jacket over a black and white checkered sweater. This moment is also important to the development of these two characters as you can see that Min Ho (the Yin) is becoming protective of Kitty (the Yang) showcasing that he is not okay with people messing with her feelings or his. Kitty also narrates at the end of this scene "Damn, never seen that side of Min Ho before." This scene shows that despite seeming icy that Min Ho values integrity which makes Kitty see him as a more complex and caring person than she originally thought.

4. Leaving for the Airport & Plane Scene - Season 1 Finale

Min Ho leaves the apartment after not being vulnerable with his goodbyes with Kitty wearing a black jacket over a white sweatshirt. Once we get on the plane we see Min Ho is only wearing his white sweat shirt and Kitty is only wearing black. Meaning the two of them are literally visually being the Yin Yang. I also find it interesting that they are wearing the others' colors in the Yin Yang. This moment is important because it opens up the the romance question. Min Ho (the Yin) is being emotionally vulnerable. But Kitty (the Yang) is not ready for it yet, but it definitely opened the door for her to imagine it as a possibility.

5. Season 2, Episode 1 - Necklace.

Kitty is without a doubt wearing that Yin Yang necklace after the season finale colors. That does not seem like it is a coincidence. Seems like a visual nod that it has been on her mind even though she might not want to yet face it.

6. Hot Tub Scene

Min Ho is wearing a black jacket and a white turtleneck when he comes out to talk to Kitty. He then takes off the black jacket to get into the hot tub. There he comforts her and this is where Kitty for the first time calls him a friend and not just a friend a really good friend. He also does such a great job of firmly comforting her as she spirals from a hurtful situation that she was partly the cause of. A big moment of transformation.

7. The Rain Scene

Again the other color scheme for Yin Yang is red and blue, If you want to count it. In the scene in the rain Min Ho is wearing a red color and Kitty is wearing blue. This scene is also a place of vulnerability and also a successful partnership. Min Ho shows up for Kitty as he grounds her and reminds her of who she is in a place of extreme vulnerability. Plus the two of them work together to move Kitty's mission forward. Min Ho always trying to keep Kitty on track and Kitty providing insight into what went wrong with Dae. They are both balancing one another fully in these scenes.

8. The Dance

Min Ho's suit is black and white. Kitty is wearing a black and white flower corsage. This is another monumental moment as this is when Kitty realizes that she has feelings for Min Ho. Min Ho realizes he does want to dance with Kitty, because he is upset over the thought of her leaving. The fact that she is wearing a corsage that has the same exact colors as his suit is beyond not subtle and the fact that the story began with her wearing that Yin Yang necklace... is also not subtle.

9. Confronting Mr. Moon with Min Ho.

Min Ho is wearing a dark blood maroon jacket. Kitty is either wearing a black of blue with some white outfit to start when she goes to confront Min Ho then brings him to talk to Mr. Moon. Then she wears her blue dancing outfit which is also blue. Regardless if you think its blue or black the Yin Yang colors are still very much there. As they work as a team to bring Stella down and save Dae's performance. Kitty providing assistance for his family then him returning the favor by helping hers. Balancing one another.

Conclusion

The Yin Yang definitely seems to have an importance to the story of Mooncovey. It seems to be an intentional choice as well especially in moments for growth as a pair. The two balance one another well.

Min ho has always been the bridge to Korean culture for Kitty. Whether it is the language, the food, the holidays, or even traveling around the Korean country side. So makes sense that a symbol as important as the Yin Yang would represent their growth as a pair and also how they would want to symbolize an important relationship in the series.

[mooncoveythoughts]

Psychological Study: Min Ho Moon

This was encouraged by another user, but it has been on my mind a lot lately. It is also to address some people who view Min Ho as problematic or that his reaction to Kitty's rejection is problematic. Our boy has layers. I also wanted to explain without getting into specifics for anonymity reasons. I work in the childhood development space in some capacity. So this analysis is coming from that standpoint along with the little things that have been dropped within the storytelling of the show.

The Defense Mechanism

Min Ho Moon has developed a self preservation defense mechanism. This defense mechanism is developed in response to emotional neglect, rejection, emotional pain, and betrayal especially in caretakers that are meant to shape your worldview and emotional safety. This matches what we have seen of Min Ho's family.

His father is quite exploitative of his family and favors his eldest son who has made him the most money. Min Ho has already expressed destain towards his father. Everything from the fact that his father really does know him well and often left his son abandoned for his own ambition or his other siblings that have shown a talent for the businesses he makes money off of. Even though Min Ho has a better relationship with his mother, there is also some neglect there, in that her career also comes first putting the responsibility of Min Ho making the choice for her to delay work or talk with him. Like she did when Min Ho called her after Dae left to go on hike. Siblings most likely saw one another as fellow competitors rather than siblings making it a rather combative family rather than a supporting one.

On top of it, he comes from a well known family. So many people meet him with preconceived ideas of who he is and who is family is. There is a pressure to maintain some kind of image. It is expected. In fact it is taught to him. So on top of being emotionally neglected the thing that he did get was messages of controlled messaging/imaging.

This on top of many events of feeling rejected, not prioritized, and encouraged to control emotion for the sake of image is a recipe to crate the type of defense mechanism that Min Ho has. Everything he does is in the name of protecting himself and protecting the people around him. The world is combative. It is not safe. Even the people he cares about will in the end drop him to save himself.

It creates a script in his mind and those who are raised in similar ways that goes like:

"No one is ever going to choose me. So I need to choose myself."

But this is the truth, Min Ho is an incredibly loving, protective, loyal, and thoughtful person. If he was raised in a family like the Song-Covey's he would not have been a playboy. The truth is he is probably the most sensitive person in his family. Sensitive and kind people usually develop the self-preservation mechanism. They are protecting the softness inside of themselves that have been toyed with too much.

Development and Story

We see in Season 1, that Min Ho is quite lonely. This is the direct consequences of a defense mechanism that once worked and now does not. As a kid, it was about managing expectations of a father who was never there for him. But now he keeps everyone at a distance through sarcasm, downplaying his feelings, and pretending the world cannot touch him.

I have no doubts that Min Ho has confidence. I think he knows he's attractive, I think he knows he is smart, and I think he knows he is competent. I think his insecurity is trusting that the people around know that. Meaning his confidence is not a front. His confidence that the people around him won't hurt him is a completely different question. That is is where his insecurities exist. This is important to take note of.

In this same season we do see Q and Dae not giving Min Ho the benefit of the doubt. We see them sometime excluding him from social situations. They do not trust Min Ho because of how he is behaved with his words/shield which then reinforces Min Ho's idea of 'No one is ever going to choose me. So I need to choose myself.' Even Kitty cannot believe the confession because again he downplayed things with her that the confession feels unreal. This then helps the conditions of things being complicated. This is why defense mechanisms are hard.

Despite this we see him start to open up and be more vulnerable. We see him have a vulnerable conversation with Q about Madison. We then see him ask Q about his relationship with Florian. We see him soften toward Kitty when he realizes Dae still has feelings for her. He then softens toward Kitty when he realizes she cares about Dae. Then he made that love confession. Something a self-preservationist would have a hard time doing. He did it. So we see growth but it will take time.

Then in Season 2, we continue to see growth. His friendship with Q feels like it has becomes a more emotionally vulnerable one. Where he talks about his feelings and what's going on with him. Dae and Min Ho do not seem to be moving forward with emotional vulnerability something that I am curious about for Season 3. He continues to be emotionally vulnerable with Kitty minus one area (his own feelings for her). At the end of Season 2 it feels like he has accepted a few things about himself and curious to know about season 3.

Moments of Self Preservation

Confession

Kitty began to say that things were complicated and wanted to discuss things with Min Ho. She never said she doesn't feel anything and never gave him a direct no. However, as soon as she began to sound like it was going to be a rejection his flight kicked in. Immediately he tells her to forget what he said and he then he practically ran to first class. Leaving on his own terms was better than listening to what he thought was going to be a full on rejection of him.

But, important, he was not mad at Kitty. He was mad at himself for being vulnerable and misreading the situation. We can see that when he returns for Season 2. He is not MAD at her and he RESPECTS what he thinks was a hard no. If he was mad at her he would not have tried to be friends with her and he would not have respected her. This is not about entitlement this is about protecting himself.

2. Market Scene

Kitty brings Min Ho to the table to talk about the confession. He went in thinking the talk was going to be about Dae. Kitty then began to talk about how she wants to be respectful of his feelings. This again made him think she pitied him and so he began to downplay his emotions to save face. To protect himself. Then he spotted that she seemed disappointed about that so he began to tease her, trying to see if she was maybe hiding something. Then she brings it back to Dae to shut up the conversation and he nodded his head accepting the situation. Again, no blame for Kitty. But he definitely wanted to protect his heart. Yet, it is also creating a situation where he will get hurt because he's denying himself his truth which if Kitty knew about things might have played out differently.

3. Stella

Stella became a shield for Min Ho. Built in evidence that he is moving on from his feelings and that he should not be pitied. I think he generally did begin to like her especially when it seemed like through her help he was getting closer to his family something he has always wanted.

4. Fight with Kitty

This is the scene people often point out as proof of Min Ho being problematic. Because he shouts out "It's bad enough that you broke my heart, but now you are trying to break up my relationship." You have to think of the context of this scene.

Kitty without warning and out of nowhere showed a video then made a large accusation with little preface. She really should not have done it in this way or in this setting. You can tell he was becoming upset but it was a frantic anger to me. One in which someone was beginning to feel like if he acknowledged this truth it would all fall down around him. Stella is his shield after all. Proof that he is not someone to be pitied. Now the girl he is worried pities him is now saying he is more pitiful because even his relationship is a lie. He knows that it's not Kitty's fault. This is not about him being mad Kitty told him no. This is about him not wanting to be looked down on and feeling like everyone thinks he is pathetic when he knows he's not.

The reason I think this is because he tells us with Q. He feels embarrassed and pitied. If Kitty is right then that hurts his self concept and feeds into that script he's been telling himself.

Even not wanting to tell his dad about Stella, again, comes from that self-preservation to not feel pathetic. To not get hurt. To have the upper hand. To avoid all the things he experienced as a kid.

Conclusion

No matter what though. When Min Ho goes into self-preservation mode he ends up more hurt and isolated. That's the thing about defense mechanisms. It worked when he was a kid to keep his father and siblings at a distance. But at the same time it keeps his friends at a distance and makes you lonely.

It's not about simple ego or simple man who hates discomfort. Or even nice guy syndrome. He never takes it out on Kitty. He respects her choices. But to Min Ho who has been pushed aside by the people who are suppose to choose him... any hint of not being chosen or not having the emotional upper hand wounds an already wounded inner child. So people who trivialize it don't seem to see the patterns in Min Ho.

He is definitely growing as a person. But whenever he gets that feeling he's going to get hurt...this is what he does.

Predictions

Season 3 is going to force Min Ho and Kitty to fight mechanisms they both have. Kitty spirals and overthinks. Min Ho hides and avoids. But both of them need to get to the point where they take that leap of faith. I personally think that Min Ho is great at grounding Kitty and reminding her of who she is. We've seen it. I personally think that Kitty is great at bringing the softer side out of Min Ho and showing him that people can be there for him.

So season 3, let's do some defense mechanism exploding.

[mooncoveythoughts]

Love Interests and Conflict - XO Kitty

Sadly, in the XO, Kitty fandom your opinions about who to ship often gets minimized and attacked in strange ways. I'm a bisexual woman and I whole heartedly ship Kitty with Min Ho.

Why?

Not because Min Ho is hot. I mean he is, but let's be honest Yuri is also gorgeous. I am not sure what that family did to produce such attractive and talented actors. It worked.

Not because I think Kitty never had feelings for Yuri or Dae. She certainly did, but those relationships either ended or faltered due to a lack of emotional intimacy and/or developed trust issues.

The reason I ship Min Ho and Kitty has to do with the way they handle conflict and emotional intimacy. As someone who has battled anxiety and co-dependent friendships/relationships, conflict is where you see power imbalances and emotional safety. Kitty is, at this moment, consistently emotionally safe with Min Ho after Episode 5, Season 1. This is when their connection began.

So let's look at the analysis of how each of the love interests handle conflict.

Kitty

Kitty, I suspect, because honestly she reminds me of myself in many ways, suffers from anxiety and overthinking. This is why most of the time with conflict she wants to handle it NOW and tackle it HEAD ON, because someone with anxiety cannot stand the amount of discomfort they feel when they feel they have done something wrong or when a relationship feels unstable.

You see this with everyone she interacts with. She wants to confront Yuri with things that maybe she might not be ready for. She wants to talk to Dae about her coming out and provide context for the break up that he might not be ready for. Or confront Min Ho about not talking to her.

Another thing she does in conflict is that she internalizes conflict. She easily can make it a character flaw about herself rather than a mistake. This can cause her to spiral and to question her own 'goodness' and 'worth'. You see that in the scene with the hot tub and many of her talks with Min Ho, her dad, and Peter. Those are the only people on the show where she has allowed her spiral to be seen in a vulnerable way and not a chaotic way.

So what does she need?

Someone who can set clear boundaries.

Someone who speaks to her actions and not her character.

Someone who does not withdraw care when angry.

Someone who does not mind talking things out when both parties are ready to do so.

Dae

The scene in the library during Season 1 after Yuri told him about Kitty sharing Min Ho's poopy baby secret stands out. Dae has every right to be upset that Kitty would share a secret like that. After learning this though, he becomes visibly angry and he makes a moral judgment about Kitty. She cannot be trusted. Instead of talking it out with her about why that was not okay and recognizing that one mistake does not mean that she cannot keep a secret. To be fair, there is other context here, but it is something that we have seen him do with Min Ho and Eunice too. He gets disappointed then makes it a character flaw in the other person without fully addressing why he is upset or what he needs. Or letting the other person explain.

The other scene was finding out about Yuri. Now, again, every right to be heart broken. But he allows his anger to take over him in a way that makes it seem like his affection is easily lost. You see it with Min Ho as well as he is quick to say they are no longer friends. That is a big thing to say even in the middle of an argument. If you always say that in conflict (like threatening divorce), the more you get in conflict with that person the more you feel unsettled. Why? Making mistakes does not equal a fight it now equals losing someone you care about. It is this reaction, that will, I think, make Min Ho dating Kitty feel like a bigger choice. Dae threatens to not be friends when things do not go perfect.

Why is this bad for Kitty?

Hard to communicate when someone has a hard time communicating. He does not like to be confronted with things he does not want to hear. He has a hard a time confronting unless mad. I do think he is quick to throw out ending a friendship during a fight which stifles emotional intimacy.

Yuri

Season 1, Episode 8. The fight during the fan dance is a very telling picture of conflict with Yuri. She is upset with Kitty for keeping Alex a secret from her. Again, not saying she should not be angry. She totally is allowed to be. However, she has the fight in a public space (not the time). Kitty points out that Yuri lied to her as well and they were able to move past it. Meaning? They should talk it out. Yuri then tells her 'they were friends' and then when she was literally on fire... walked away from her. This shows emotional impulsivity. Her anger needed to be expressed now even though this was not the right time and she is willing to threaten affection. Then literally leaves her friend in a potentially dangerous situation.

Season 2. Yuri and Kitty's kiss. Both of them are involved in that kiss and both deserve some blame. The way Yuri handled the situation though was very telling and concerned me. The first moment of concern was when she pulled Kitty aside and literally told Kitty how she felt then asked her to keep it a secret. Those are two very, what we call, toxic relationship/friendship red flags. No one should tell anyone how they feel and no one should be asked to keep a secret that makes them feel shameful. Then when the secret came out, Yuri, pretty much stopped talking to Kitty. She had her reasons... but it would been nice if she sent a text or made a phone call to verbalize that to Kitty. Otherwise, it feels mean and selfish.

Why is it bad for Kitty?

Silent treatment without explanation is horrible for anyone who might have a hint of anxiety. She lashes out and can be mean in conflict. Also, for anyone who said that writers did Yuri dirty in Season 2... really needs to re-watch Season 1. Nothing Yuri did surprised me, because it felt in character from Season 1 Yuri. This is the thing she needs to work on and what Alex was trying explain all Season 2 to her. There was no glorious sunshine which was tanked in Season 2. Yuri was on this train and needed something BIG to wake her up and the cheating story was the way they chose to wake her up. She is a great character and no doubt will grow, but she has a lot of red flags that she needs to work on.

Min Ho

There was a moment in Season 1 that Min Ho could have chose to be mean or to make Kitty feel bad. Kitty ruining Min Ho's Madness party. He did not make her feel bad just acknowledged it sucked then moved on with his life.

The main conflict between Kitty and Min Ho was about Stella. Now, Min Ho was totally wrong and Kitty was totally right. Yet, Kitty never hung being right over Min Ho's head which is super healthy and very nice to see. But... in the moment of the conflict Min Ho felt ambushed by Kitty who was dismantling the shield covering his feelings for her and also the joy of reconnecting with his father. The choice of words that he uses when being in conflict is masterclass interpersonal communication. In the moment of the ambush, he chose to react with emotional vulnerability by explaining that she helped with his family. Then as the fight continued he admitted to getting his heart broken and then brought up the idea that Kitty was jealous. He then ended the argument by telling her to not look out for him then walked away. There is nothing wrong with walking away from an argument that feels heated. That is fine. Normal. Healthy even. But, he did not say they were not friends (which he could have based on what Kitty said), instead he spoke to the idea of she didn't need to look out for him. He also did not call her names. He spoke to himself.

The second conversation about this conflict happened during class with Dae. Kitty confronts him. He does not ignore her, but instead engages. Min Ho then reinstates his boundary that he is not hanging out with her until she apologizes for what she said about Stella. He also does not call her crazy... instead speaks to her actions which is that 'she sounds crazy." Which does make a difference in a fight.

Then despite the fact that he put this boundary and is in this fight he shows up for her. He finds out that she is meeting her family and he shows up because he knew Kitty needed this to go well. This was more important than his boundary. Then at the dance, Q reminded him that his time with Kitty was running out. So, asking her to dance was more important than the boundary as well. The fight is not worth more than his connection with Kitty.

Is this good for kitty?

Yes. Min Ho (despite the lack of communication about his current feelings) is quite good at communicating how he feels. He can hold a boundary if needed. But, he never calls her names and never ever dangles the threat of withdrawing care in conflict. This allows for conflicts to feel safe. So much so that... that Kitty spent the time not talking to Min Ho not worrying about her being a bad person like she did with Dae and Yuri. Instead she had the opportunity to only focus on the fact she missed him. That working on the relationship was more important than ego or who was right. For two people... who often dream about the other saying they are right... that's kinda big. I also imagine that Min Ho does not fight in the name calling and withdrawing love way, because we have seen that his father definitely withdraws affection in conflict and berates people. So... in conflict he speaks his truth but never makes the other person feel unsafe.

[mooncoveythoughts]

Ten of Cups: Min Ho Moon

As someone who is very much into Tarot readings, the brief yet intentional use of the Ten of Cups in XO Kitty peaked my interest.

Episode 8, Season 1 - Scene Summary: Min Ho calls his mom to let her know his intentions to ask for a more serious relationship with Madison. His mother, correctly, assumed that Madison was more of a chaser than a keeper. Min Ho then mentioned that he had the upper hand in the situation, because she was obsessed with him. HIs mom then pulled the Ten of Cups exclaiming that love was in the air.

Now, I have seen some people say that the Ten of Cups was set up for the transition scene which led to Kitty and Yuri. I am not downplaying the connection that Kitty and Yuri have, especially in this episode at this moment, but it seems odd to me that the people behind the show would include a Tarot card and not apply the rules of Tarot. Tarot cards are chosen with a specific intention and with a specific person in mind. Whether that is someone asking a question for themselves to a Tarot reader or a Tarot reader picking a card for a specific person on their mind. The card's meaning is always for the one intended. The card is about Min Ho. Hard stop. It doesn't matter whether you think he will end up with Kitty or not. It is, indeed, meant to describe his journey. Someone has to be a Tarot nerd to feel the need to include it in the story...and Tarot nerds will always follow the rules.

Symbolism:

Ten of Cups is a great card to get in your spread. It usually means emotional and spiritual fulfillment. Harmonious relationships and deep connections. A sense of belonging, security, and joy. Dreams and desires coming true. Now, like I said, in Tarot it is about the intent. The question that Min Ho's mom asked was specific to the romantic fulfillment of her son. So, I am going to dive deeper into the romance interpretation of this card.

At this moment, Min Ho is single looking for a commitment and a real connection. So I will speak specifically to his circumstances.

Attracting true love: It is a sign that Min Ho is on the right path to finding a soulmate or long-term partner. He is going on a journey to become emotionally vulnerable, open, compassionate, and will find a love connection that is deep, fulfilling, supportive, and building on a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and a deep love. That his future partner shares the same values, dreams, and emotional goals as him. Creating a stable and loving home as the love is nurtured. It is a sign that he is positioning himself to find that love. Or he is already in love with someone. Someone he has a deep and emotional love connection with. This person being someone who he will find happiness with if he continues on the right path and is patient. Eventually everything will fall into place.

XO Kitty Analysis

I do think that this card is his journey to being with Kitty. Out of all the love interests it is Min Ho, we have seen slowly becoming the person Kitty deserves.

Standing up for Kitty in front of her and when she is not around. Supporting the things that matter most to her. Creating deep emotional intimacy regardless the circumstances.

Helping her cook for Chuseok. He does it out of outrage but he really did not need to do that.

Reminding Dae that Kitty is not just here for him, so he should give her space to find out more about her mom. Or what Kitty wants to eat.

Being mad on her behalf that Dae would lie and put her through emotional turmoil. Then telling Dae, without Kitty around, the same thing.

Kitty mentioning a grand gesture is sometimes a good thing. Min Ho effortless making grand gestures as if it is second nature to him.

Saving her from the fire once he realized that Kitty was in danger.

Respecting her answer that things were complicated and that is why they could not try for a relationship. Not holding it against her even if it hurt him.

Comforting her in the hot tub after finding her in a self-hatred spiral.

Volunteering to help with her family journey. Supporting her with how important this is to her. Being firm when needed. Adoring her all for it.

Comforting her in the rain and reminding her who she is.

Not icing her out completely when asking for distance after the Stella ambush.

Helping her at the market despite being mad about the situation because it is important to her.

Dancing with her after being reminded that time with her is fleeting.

Helping her get her family to South Korea to make one of her mom's dreams come true.

The love he has demonstrated for Kitty is a Ten of Cups love. It is not angelic or perfect on paper. It is not intense and overwhelming. It is safe and transformative. It gives room for each of them to grow, but support one another along the way.

I also find it interesting that commentary on love has always been shared through Min Ho himself his solo scenes. It is Min Ho we learn about the three kinds of love: a reason, a season, and a lifetime. It is Min Ho who we get the Tarot Card about transformative, deep, and lasting love. Why? I think Min Ho is the guy for Kitty. I think the show runners are laying out poetic moments that show case Min Ho is on an emotional journey to be ready for Kitty and Kitty is on a 'maybe I don't know everything about love' journey to be ready for Min Ho. It feels too poetic for it not be.

I strongly believe the Ten of Cups is referring to Min Ho's journey to Kitty. It might be a long road that requires patience, but the foundations of that kind of love is already there. It's just a matter of timing.

[mooncoveythoughts]

Love Like Water: Mooncovey

To me, XO Kitty, is a show about Kitty learning about who she is, learning about what she wants in life, and learning what love is. She comes into the show feeling like she is a matchmaker who understands what love is, but the truth is she has only scratched the surface.

So that being said. I have never really truly seen this a story of love triangles, but rather a series of love lessons. I heard a saying once somewhere not sure if it was a poem or something someone in my life said that I feel fits Kitty's journey (as I see it well).

People often expect love to be fire or earth, but really love should be water.

Dae, the first love, in many ways to me represents the idea of love should be earth. Earth is stable, grounded, and dependable—solid and enduring. Love like earth may mean commitment, security, and reliability, but it could also risk becoming stagnant or overly rigid. Dae though might have started off with lies in the beginning of the show which might have put question marks on the dependable part of this. But regardless it still fits as the issue with the Dae and Kitty relationship was that there was no challenge in it. Dae did not challenge Kitty to push forward growth. It was safe, rooted in the past, and predictable in many ways. To love like earth is safe but this type of love has a hard time adapting to the inevitable changes that time and experience bring. So... the relationship ended as the season of that particular relationship had passed. The people they were going to become did not fit the relationship they built.

Yuri, the crush, in many ways represents the idea of love should be fire. Fire is passionate, intense, and exciting—but it can also be destructive, consuming, and short-lived if not carefully managed. People who think love should be like fire may crave intensity, drama, and deep emotional highs. This to me is what the Yuri and Kitty connection was. It was intense and fast. It made Kitty feel things she never felt before, but it was also chaotic and confusing. Yuri did though challenge Kitty to learn more about herself and did move Kitty's story forward, but at the same time left very little stability for the love connection to be sustaining. It burned too bright to fast, culminating in a kiss that changed everything and then fizzled out as there was little to nurture it after the explosion.

Min Ho, the undercurrent love, throughout the storylines of Dae and Yuri... Min Ho has been there. His scenes showing him becoming ready for something or someone... Quiet undercurrents of feelings that Kitty has felt since Chuseok before it crashed over her completely toward the end of the second season. He represents the idea of love should be water. Water, though, is flexible, adaptable, and essential. It can take the shape of whatever holds it. It flows, finds a way through obstacles, and nourishes life. Love like water suggests a balance: it's gentle but powerful, soft but persistent. It's about being present, flowing with change, and sustaining each other without control or force. Meaning this love allows the two people to be who they are and provides the ability to grow through life together. This love challenges one another to look at things differently, but also holds space for the core of who the people are.

So even though some people might put in their mind that they want a passionate fiery kind of love or a calm safe kind of love. It is that balance that makes love last.