moonstudlyrics

[moonstudlyrics]

i never thought this would be such a trigger.

on a day like today, a day where i yearn for your touch the most.

a day where comfort is all i need, i put the needs of someone else before my own, and the expectation is that i will be able to take care of myself.

which, true. i should be able to take care of myself, especially if you have other priorities to handle.

so why do i feel so guilty?

why am i so hurt to think that this is something that will continue to come before me as time goes on?

it feels like i am giving her more understanding than what you’re giving me.

maybe you think i’m pushing you away.

but my love, i want you right here beside me.

i want to be held.

i want to be comforted.

i want to be told that i’m the most beautiful girl in the world to you.

but you rescued her, she needs you.

she’s hurt, she can’t continue without you.

she needs your love, she needs your touch, and by god, she needs you.

i need you too, but i should be able to save myself, right?

[moonstudlyrics]

Sometimes feel like I'm only meant for myself

[moonstudlyrics]

the feeling of abandonment hits different when you've experienced being left, and being the one to leave;

you miss those who've left you,

and you miss the person you were before leaving;

you know why they left, why they had to leave, and maybe why they needed to leave;

at the same time, you also left,

and guess what?

they also understood why you did.

still, you feel bad for leaving,

but it feels even worse to be the one that was left;

i miss you.

[moonstudlyrics]

"we accept the love we think we deserve."

I used to be a snob when it came to this famous movie quote, but as I rewatch this scene now, my heart burns with every word.

I never knew how true one sentence could be until that sentence became my life.

no romance movie, or loving novel could have prepared me for the scornful moments of love in real life.

I have no handbook, there are no rules I don't think, and I don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

I don't know what I deserve.

is this toxic?

is this love?

is this love, toxic?

[moonstudlyrics]

over time, you get used to the feeling

you stop yearning, missing, needing;

I stopped searching.

my heart only broke more looking for

someone,

something,

to fill the void emptied by you.

but now,

I don't want to fill that void,

I don't want to find "another you".

because I don't want someone like you

to hurt me in the ways you already have.

and you'll never know that I stopped searching,

I'll never let you know.

it hurts like hell,

but who are you to belittle a life you

know nothing about anymore?

darling, you've wounded me

[moonstudlyrics]

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

[moonstudlyrics]

Things I Need:

1: Attention 2: An Orgasm 3: $10,000,000

[moonstudlyrics]

“Whatever causes night in your soul may leave stars.”

— Victor Hugo

[moonstudlyrics]

thankful for:

1. people who aren't attached to their phones

- who prefer books over phones

- who can hold a conversation, genuinely

2. communications majors [arts & humanities]

3. self-love [bts]

4. friends who keep me sane [and alive lmao]

5. a heart that never stops loving

and much more ♡

[moonstudlyrics]

i bleed ink because you never allowed me to express myself otherwise.

im a library of unread books, black out poetry, and records to last a lifetime.

but i could never read them aloud, simply because they're too complex for you.

love, jl

[moonstudlyrics]

you confuse all of us with each other.

but i know that i will never be the one you are truly proud of.

simply because my paycheck seems to be missing some zeros.

love, jl

[moonstudlyrics]

i can barely express my emotions to you, how do you expect me to be able to express them to someone else?

you taught me to buckle up and muscle through it, "you don't have time to feel this way".

which is why i never feel at all.

you only know the surface level of who i am.

love, jl

[moonstudlyrics]

you pride yourself on how you raised your children to be domestic, responsible, and dependable.

but you failed to teach them how to respect themselves before they respect others.

now they struggle to set healthy boundaries and understand their self worth.

you are the reason they sell themselves short.

but you'll never know that, because we respect you enough to never tell you just how much you've emotionally traumatized us.

love, jl

[moonstudlyrics]

you carry the least amount of respect for your wife and still wonder why your children end up with men who have bird-cage hands.

you were the first man to ever break our hearts before any outsider ever had the chance to.

love, jl

[moonstudlyrics]

do not talk down to her as if she were your child, and then expect her to care for you just as your mother couldn't.

it's not her job to help you feel like a man you could never be.

love, jl

[moonstudlyrics]

stop doing mom shit for underdeveloped men

love, jl

[moonstudlyrics]

aren't you supposed to be the one to protect me?

the one to love me no matter my fault or fears?

aren't you supposed to save me from the monsters hiding in my closet?

but here you are, being the monster who calls out my faults, and who i need to be saved from

love, jl