more-raging-heart-than-grace - Tumblr blog

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Nothing Saejima does has ever surprised me. When he ripped a 900-pound transformer box out of the ground and used it to bash a guy's head in, I was like "yah of course he can do that." When he punched a grizzly bear so hard that it respected him as a fellow apex predator I was like "checks out, I'd have done the same." I mean the man looks like this and he just keeps getting buffer every game.

The only thing he's ever done to surprise me was start sobbing during the death match, and that's only cuz I had never seen a Yakuza protagonist properly cry before.

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DM: You find yourselves at the edge of a large hole, with seemingly no bottom.

Monk: I jump into the hole.

Paladin: I also jump into the hole.

Rogue: I jump into the hole as well.

Wizard: Can I look around the hole for stairs, or a rope or something?

Rogue: I pull him down with me.

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tag of the week:

@peanutbutter-nutella :

#i want a lan wangji to hide from my problems behind too ✳

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perused the Joja shelves for, admittedly, the first time in over 400 hours of gameplay

nothing abnormal so far

ok cool good stuff

yeah, that's still-

oh-

wAit-

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can't stop thinking about how the "convinced to return for one last job" trope is a kind of resurrection. digging up a restless corpse that maybe should have stayed buried.

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Number of Goblins, ranked

One Goblin - That's just a goblin. He's probably just getting his groceries or something. Leave him alone, you asshole.

Ten Goblins -- That's a fairly normal amount of goblins. There's generally around ten goblins in any given situations. They're just here for aesthetic, so you know it's a fantasy world. Remember to tip them when you leave.

One Hundred Goblins -- Ok this is too many goblins, but this is a reasonable amount of too many goblins. Like, this is maybe an army of goblins or something? My point is that they're probably here for a good reason. Best not to mess with them, they're likely load-bearing in some way.

One Thousand Goblins -- This is probably a goblin town, in which case this is really more a case of One Human, which is a completely different list only available on goblintube. If not, all these goblins are lost. Return them to the goblin town. The orcs are worried.

One Million Goblins -- A million goblins? I'm not sure I've even seen a million things in my life , and now there's a million goblins? That's, like, all the goblins. Why are you at a convention of all the goblins? Are you a goblin? Actually, no, that would make sense. Yeah, that's probably what's going on here. Sorry you had to find out this way.

One Billion Goblins -- Ok, look, at this point you have clearly been sent to a future time where humanity is extinct and goblins have inherited the earth. I can think of no other explanation for a billion goblins. This sadly means that you're the weirdo, and you have to go be a cryptid now. At least you can find a phone and read the goblin creepypastas about you.

One Trillion Goblins -- How? What is happening? This is more goblins then there are birds, and they'll all in your house? How is your house this big? Wait, forget the goblins, how is your house this big? Are the goblins here to guillotine you? Probably! Move out of your stupid mansion and let the goblins have it, you weird rich bird-hoarding freak.

One Quadrillion Goblins -- One quadrillion? I'm only like 80% sure that's even a real number! Luckily, you won't have to deal with a quadrillion goblins for long, because soon they'll collapse together under their gravity, forming a far more manageable single planet-sized goblin. Picard's not gonna be happy about this one!

More Goblins -- Fuck off, you do not have more then a quadrillion goblins. Why are you lying? Are you worried I won't like you if you don't claim to have an implausible number of goblins? Don't worry. Your worth is not dependent on your goblin numbers. Go back to the actual number of goblins secure in the fact I love you, no matter how few goblins you have <3

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Wizards make all those funny hand gestures because they're selecting the spell from a terrible UI

­The reason spell slots are so limited is because your wizard refuses to buy premium magic.

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Stardew Valley where every character is a divorcee and you’re the new Farmer trying to make friends and maybe date while awkwardly avoiding the weird town politics of everyone having divorced each other

Stardew Valley where no one tells you who’s married and you gotta awkwardly figure out by yourself who you can date

Stardew Valley where fixing the community center isn’t so anticlimactic

Stardew Valley where the Jojo employees are into you and other than Shane it’s awkward as hell because you’re against their whole thing

Stardew Valley where Gramp’s ghost hangs around and everyone reacts to it except you

Stardew Valley where everyone finds out you used to be in an office job working for Jojo corporation and everyone else who came to this place to also escape their old life go to your farm constantly to make sure you enjoy your new life in Pelican Town and it’s kinda making it hard to actually farm

Stardew Valley where you’re a Hallmark heroine (you’re already halfway there in canon)

Stardew Valley where Willy gives you at least one free ride for fixing his boat or at least actually fucking pays you for the materials you gave him 🙄🙄🙄

Stardew Valley where everyone actively tries to romance you (if you want it)

Stardew Valley where everyone can see you carrying around a bouquet and every romanceable character at a certain heart level reacts in some way, even if you don’t present it to them

Stardew Valley where everyone actually reacts more to the fact that you give them emeralds and other precious gems

Stardew Valley with more cutscenes please 🥺👉👈

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me when i'm saving 300 images of fennec foxes to my computer

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me sell hats, poke!

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Just import your blorbos wholesale to your RPG. Not even fit them in with the setting. They're just there, in the dungeon, next to a ooze, completely unchanged.

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Player, observing 5ft by 5ft squares that are also 5ft diagonally (DM said we don't need math):

"Pythagoras is rolling in his grave rn"

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Majima said he wanted a pet he can tame like a Tiger, so Saejima gave him an orange cat. Good Luck Majima-san!

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i think rice with things on it & also some sort of sauce is like basically the best food genre tbh

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Ducks can float now??