morego

[morego]

2020 - The year the world turned upside down

There’s not a lot I can say about 2020 that hasn’t been said yet. It’s the year we never saw coming, the year that disrupted indiscriminately, the year nobody wanted. But also it was a year that refocused many of us, gave us a chance to slow down and introspect. Let’s get into how I faired.

Goals Living on hope I say living on hope because I didn’t take any solid plans or goals coming into the year. In fact these two are the only real goals I remember I had real intentions to go for 2020: A comfortable Comrades: This was an easy goal to run with (excuse the pun) and I could never forget it. I was intent on running a race (any race) without any uncertainty or unease - I wanted no ‘Bafana Bafana playing in cup competition calculation’. Ironically my Comrades qualifier was uncertain to the point of receiving the race results. But I quickly got focused and became the fittest I have ever been in my lifetime by end of March, just before the lockdown. Needless to say it’s been a struggle to get back to that point since we were allowed to run freely again. I comfort myself by reciting the script ‘The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former glory’. It’s getting there. Flow: For the first time I prayed for vision for my family and not just for myself to carry into the year. This year we focused on FLOW. We were to consider and acknowledge our blessing, but unlike the dead sea, we would be the vessel that allows blessing to flow through us. It was to be a year of generosity and kindness. I haven’t been kind to myself and expected that we could have done better, but objectively, we did pretty well. I’ve seen even The Boy intentionally exercise flow. With some of the idle cash from services being cancelled due to Covid, we were able to make charitable donations. However the most meaningful for me was being able to help and support family members. For the first time the phrase ‘charity begins at home’ made sense to me. Spiritually healthy: This was more of an implicit goal than anything, and I’m glad the family managed to stay plugged in to church week in week out. It would have been so easy to fall off this year (and perfectly reasonable), but we’re still as committed. We pray, we engage and still 100% team Jesus.

Under lockdown Theoretically, I’m team 5am, team crush the day, team goaldiggers. So it goes without saying that the moment we got ‘down time’ in the form of a lockdown, instead of taking care of my mental health I became obsessed with taking advantage of the extra time and doing EVERYTHING I previously thought I couldn’t because time. But that’s all in theory. In reality I failed almost across the board - but I now know it is as I said above: no solid plans or goals, nothing written down, nothing committed to. But at least: New garden: Ever since living on my property, we’ve had a constant struggle with the grass patch in our front yard. It wouldn’t grow evenly across the front yard. I resolved to fix it once and for all so that my children can play comfortable on the grass at the end of the year. Mission accomplished. On Christmas day we had the kids playing on the grass with a portable pool. Fantastic. Fit and healthy: I also resolved to keep my family fit, healthy and Covid free. I also hoped to get a six pack (or at least a flat tummy) but that didn’t happen. All in all everybody is now settled into a fitness regime, we take vitamins and get some sun time regularly and know how to keep healthy. But also part of health was the mental aspect. I think we’ve done well in that respect, everybody is still alive and we’re still a loving family.

After lockdown So I never went back to the office since the first lockdown and have been working from home ever since. This does create a little extra time for me and so I’ve been able to try get my running back on track and start swimming. Sub-25: In September I started a running programme to try run a sub-25 minute 5k. I really think I was progressing well, at least until a heart matter brought everything to a grinding halt (see below). But yeah, I consider this an achievement. Swimming: I now also go for swim lessons during lunch. This is something that’s been outstanding all my life and just starting is that big of a deal. But also unfortunately it was also disrupted at some point by an ear issue (see below, hahaha). I’m back at it though and progressing really well. I now just need a bike and we’re on our way to Iron Man.

Another day at the hospital Following from my first one last year, I really hope this doesn’t become a pattern. A heart matter: Anyway, this was a crazy story. My insurance asked for new medicals (routine), but the checkup picked up my heart was irregular again. This finding would trigger an absurd chain of events that landed me in a hospital bed for an Angiogram operation. And after all of that they found... wait for it... nothing. So I’ve been diagnosed with what they call ‘athletes heart’. I’ve spoken about this heart issue a few times here so, I hope never to speak about it again. (This is the matter that stopped my speed running ambitions). Specialists even: Though this was not an admission, I also ended up in the rooms of a specialist because of an ear infection. Yey, this one was painful and even more so when the specialist recommended a theatre procedure. Fortunately the meds cleared my ear. LOL. (This is the issue that disrupted my swimming).

Social adventures Because of the strict regulations, we were required to be socially distant this year. I want to say this suited me just fine but it’s something I’ve been trying to break out of for years, so much so that I’ve listed my social exploits as achievements on this platform. Throughout the year we’ve done the best we can to keep the WhatsApp, Zoom and Houseparty meetups going. But the moment we got the chance to socialise in person, we actually socialised, so much so I consider these outings ‘adventures’. Kuruman: By far the best thing I have done in a few years. Wife and I were on our way on a Friday night to a Sunday funeral in Bloemfontein, but at an uncharacteristically last minute we changed direction to go see my little brother in Kuruman who was having a birthday weekend bash. Man Kurara was lit and it was so great to spend time with family who came out to support him. We eventually went back to Bloem on Sunday morning and all was fine. Even after the funeral we klapped some drinks with the husbands of the Wife’s friends, was a cool hang out, at the funeral. Pati’s grad: In the spirit of intentionally badly calculated decisions, we went to Pati’s house for her graduation party and ended up staying overnight having the time of our lives. Yay! Wolfpack annual getaway: Once again this seemed like it would never happen, but fortunately me and the Wolfies managed to get out town (albeit to Haarties) for a weekend to go drink and once again attempt to play poker. I can’t say it was the best one yet, but it’s up there.

Work I really thought I was having a brilliant year at work. I really did. I put in the hours, I put in the sacrifices and gave everything I had towards it. But it was not to be seen. To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement. But because this has been the year of introspection, I see that much of the effort given was misdirected. But over and above that I think it has opened my eyes to what is important, and work is not important. My family is important. My spiritual, mental and physical health are important. Work is important, but not more than these.

The rest It’s really hard to account for this year, especially between April and September as that time, although felt like the longest time in the history of time, went by quickly in retrospect. I’m left here left with shoulda coulda woulda’s. But: Wife’s birthday: was awesome as we went bungee jumping in Soweto and for massages at some exclusive rich people boutique.  I grew a beard: As in I had a beard the whole year. Festive was great: with all my kids. I made every effort to make sure everybody feels included, loved and appreciated. Depression: is becoming a thing with me and my seasons are becoming longer and more frequent. Sure depression was inevitably a 2020 thing, I had hoped not to have it so hard. The issues in the Wolfpack are making things difficult to help figure and address issues. I suppose I need a new group of people to walk me through this.

Ok. So first of all I’m writing this on the 14th of January 2021 instead of the usual 31st of December. I’ve been struggling to commit to sit down and write my thoughts, goals and plans and because of that I’m totally convinced this is part of the reason why things didn’t go really well for me in 2020. If one thing I do in 2021, is get back to the habit of taking time to write, express, review and expect - the rest will follow.

[morego]

2019 - What I can remember

This has to have been the craziest year I’ve had in the last couple. Much good happened, and equally some urgh! I’ve left this to the very last minute, so here goes...

Home Family Guy: Started the year energised to be the best husband and father I could possibly be. For a while it felt like it was working and everybody was happy. It started with a small project I called @lunchboxletters_. This would help me say nice things to my peoples and encourage the daily. Lots of work and I soon (3 months), ran out of steam. I also intentionally set aside my Sundays to spend time with all of them after church. We would play games, take walks and talk to each other. We did a few Sundays but then we didn’t look for parks in time and then we just stopped. I also intentionally spent mornings at home when I was on late shift to see the kids, but then it was just time making lunch for the big brother. I think I did too much and created too much expectation that when it all came to a halt everyone acted out; in different ways that I could never really figure out: The big brother stopped being attentive (resulting in him not listening and constantly loosing stuff), the wife would just seem so angry all the time. We’re all sort of fine now. The year was tough. A brother: I had hoped to be more of an involved sibling when it comes to my mother’s family, but truthfully I acted like they don’t exist - even through the trauma of kids being ‘abducted’. At least for much of the year I carried on this way. In the last quarter I started reaching out to my older brother to try and make amends. I decided to take it easy with him and just create a safe talking space with him, calling him every other week. He’s in a bunch of trouble, and when things were starting to close in on him, I like to believe I was available to him as an empathetic ear. I hope to work on a better year with them in 2020. Hospitable: My wife is amazing. She’s been a great buffer between me and my family and some of my friends, maintaining relationships I’ve otherwise neglected. A couple of times we hosted family and friends here at home for a great vibe and even greater food. Two of my highlights would be the twins Christening and Christmas. I’ve enjoyed having family over in the house. Family just being family and being happy to be around one another. Perfect. Twins turn 1: And magically brought a whole family together. We had an awesome time at Pati’s on that weekend with much of the family coming together to celebrate them. As I think of it, all other times we’ve met as family has been over these two little people.

Running, Lots of it The big C: At the end of last year I made the decision and commitment to take on Comrades. I’m glad to report that your boy did it. It’s the biggest, hairiest, most audacious goal I’ve ever attempted. It took all of me, and gave me more of me. I wrote about elsewhere but the only thing I need to add is even though I act like ‘ke sharp’, I think I’ll do it many more times. Training: So the big C needs training, lots of it. And train I did. I think close to this achievement is the training I did. Following a 6 month training plan being accountable only to myself was easily the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. Oceans: Comrades wasn’t the biggest highlight, but the second for me this year. Wife and I got on a plane and flew all the way to Cape Town to run the longest distance I’d run before that. Cape Town was amazing. The stay was cozy comfortable, the race was beautiful, the city hangouts were fun and doing it all with my wife was unforgettable.

Holidays, sort of Cape Town: So as i’ve already said above, we were in CT for Oceans. It was a holiday of sorts perfect. Durban: Well, KZN really. I packed my entire family (nanny included) down to the coast when I went for Comrades. I’m really glad I gave my son a real beach experience. Even though I didn’t get to be with him at the beach he was still super stoked. We spent the night of Comrades at a midlands farm house. I really wish we could have spent more time there. Two words: beautiful. Dullstroom: After much back and forth with the boys, we finally paid for and went to Dullstroom for a Wolfie weekend. It wasn’t the best, especially the part where I spent a whole day by myself because guys had passed out. It was nice in the end. I really hope we get back to a better place as the Wolfpack.

Not social This year has not been as fun and outgoing as previous ones, having skipped the usual #FillUp and Delicous, there’s little to talk about. Music is King: Omphi was pretty excited about this one and we bought the tickets long before. I would have skipped but you could say I took one for the team so that a friend wouldn’t feel awkward as the only guy there. I obviously didn’t have a great time. Others: Other than the above I think I honored a lunch invitation here and there but I’ve spent much of my weekends at home, looking after the kids.

Feeling Emotional I’ve not been one to be in my feelings, but this year got me to confront a lot.  Failing friendships: As mentioned above about Dullstroom, the guys haven’t been in a great place.We’re all so prideful and self obsessed. We hardly meet and as a result, I’ve bottled up. Depression: At least I think. I haven’t been happy this year, honestly. I still convinced that having the guys as an outlet helped. I was also not at church serving much of this year, so I never got the cuteness filling I was so used to. Work was just hard at some point. All this made me pull in, never smiled, never talked; I was just ‘around’. I hate feeling that way. We’re back in church and the guys are talking again so it’s not as bad. Even tonight we’re meeting. A toughish marriage: Wife left her job this year. So navigating the world of owning her time hasn’t been easy and it’s created unnecessary tensions in the marriage. We both knew it was going to get tough, but any preparation would never be enough. We’re still working at it - personally I need to be more empathetic and understanding. Death by cute: My babies have been my only sense of hope this year. They’ve given me a chance to smile and laugh when I couldn’t. They are such a pleasure to have, to look at, to play with. Their development milestones give me real joy.

My day at the hospital I finally got my own hospital admission (I say finally because all of last year everybody in the family got admitted except me). It was a small voluntary procedure that I’ve been putting off form months. Glad it’s over.

Work I’ve had a fantastic year at work this year. It was tough, and took all of me, I made it out alive. Responsibility: My long time mentor left the office and I was left to step in and step up. I did it. I managed. I’ve since gone to gain the recognition from peers at the office. It’s nice. X: With added responsibility, I had so much more to do. And I did it, over and above. I’ve this year gotten the highest performance rating of my career. There’s nothing above it. Boom. Time away: All this was not without cost - I more and more spent time away from the family and I regret it sometimes.  Exams: After many years of not studying, I was forced back into academics at the office. I got klapped by an exam and I’ve been so shy to take a rewrite since. 

2019 has been great and not so great. The accomplisments were paid for my a lot of emotional distress. And if there’s any one word/phrase, that would be it: emotional distress. I haven’t always been alright. A lot has been because of my choices. 

I have much of what I want, but I want to take better care of me and mine in 2020. But more than that, because I have been this blessed, I really hope to be a blessing to others. Let’s see what 2020 brings, but all I know is I’ve seen some things, learnt some things, handled some: so I’m ready. 

[morego]

2018 - The whole story

Best year I’ve had in recent memory. Let’s.

God First Streaks: on streaks on streaks. I actually did incredibly with my bible reading this year. I was literally gunning for that ‘every day on the bible app’ badge (if it exists). Something went wrong and I lost my daily streak. But my weekly streak is still strong, sitting currently on 51 weeks. Who wants to call it? The New Testament: all of it. So yes, my streak was productive in that I got to read the entire new testament this year. It’s a strange thing though, I sometimes read passages in then new and it seems so foreign/new. I blame the different versions though. But you know how the Bible works, it speaks to you where you are. Serving: We’re not active in church anymore (more on that later). But we’ll be back. We’ve kept in touch with all our people and they love and miss us.

Fit As A Fiddle Streaks: on streaks on streaks. Early on in the year I signed up for Vitality Active Rewards and proceeded to hit a 15 week streak of goals achieved. I’m currently on a 10 week streak - In total I’m almost 50% achiever for an entire year of fitness goals. Damn nigga. 4 out of 4: I actually ran all 4 half-marathons in this year’s Discovery Vitality Run Series. I do wish I had run more full marathons but the two that I did were good enough. Also started the year killing it with the January runs. Comrades: I’m all signed up, training and pushing hard for it. I run now. Really run.

Family And then there were 5: I don’t know why I didn’t speak of this in last year’s post because we were already pregnant. So yes, we welcomed twins to the family in June. It was both joyous and stressful as the babies came early (premature), putting immense stress and pressure on their mother and her life at risk. But we made it. Everybody is good now. Highlight of the year. A full year: with the boy living with us. He’s done fantastic at school and he enjoys his new life with us. He misses his mom from time to time but ey, that’s how these things go. His birthday this year was not his wish list, but better than he’d hoped for. We’re winning at parenting a 2010′er. Actually 6: including the nanny that is. You could say we’re growing. It’s hasn’t been an easy adjustment, but I’ll get there. A tombstone, finally: It seemed impossible, but it’s now done. I’m not happy with the how, but glad it’s done none-the-less.

Socially not so awkward Party at the park: We kicked off 2018 with a return leg of Party at the Park to celebrate my birthday (and to announce the pregnancy). This one was at Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens. The after party got proper lit. Ask Anti-Party (Aunty Pati), lol. Wolves and their wives: So we missed out on the NYE celebration with the Wolfgang last year because of the pregnancy, but we made New Year’s Day. The gang also hosted a baby shower for us and another couple. In typical fashion, things got out of hand. Poker, Not: We had two attempts at Poker this year: I hosted one in February and Kb in October. At least we unpacked the poker set and played 3 or so hands. Jay-Z and Beyonce: LIVE! My wife always comes through with these things and boy did she come through. At the SA Global Citizen Festival we got to experience On The Run.No words.

And then work A World8 of a start: So at the end of 2017 I had quit my job to work fully on World8. I started off slowly, mostly ‘laying the foundations’, which in hindsight could have been done later. Alas, little regret. I learnt a lot of lessons in 4 months. Back to corporate: I got a corporate gig in the middle of the second quarter and right in time as the reality of welcoming twins was looming. With income prospects set for year end and savings rapidly drying up, I jumped in. It’s been a great experience so far, a world of a difference from my previous employer: my contribution is valued and my colleagues respect me (in as much as I do them). I’ve gone on to give them the best of me.

All in all, a fantastic year. At least compared to last year. I got a good job I enjoy, I get to be present in my family and watch all my children grow, live in my best health and am able to recognise that God has been good to me and my family.

I just want to enjoy life from 2019 and beyond and live under God’s light as he’s prepared for me. Over and above consistency and excellence, my key action for the year is more.

[morego]

2017 - All of it

Phew! I feel like 2017 has had a go at me, I really feel beat up. But it’s not exactly the truth. Let’s get into it.

Family The boy: Around October last year, The Boy’s mom denied me him. So by February I had not seen or spoken with him for little over 5 months. It had been really tough. But one night at the office I called and they answered, and he said he was ready to come live with us in Joburg. Only God could have made this happen. So by mid-April he was here and we were buying uniform and implemented the family routine we planned should it happen. It actually happened, he lives with us now. Getting married, again: April was a blockbuster month of sorts, at the end of it we had our traditional wedding in Lomanyaneng. It wasn’t an overly planned event but most of family rallied together and made things happen. It turned out smooth, beautiful and tons of fun. For the first time in a long time, the extended family got to be together again and cooperate. Sure, the spirit didn’t last a few months later, but I’m glad it happend.

Church’y things Saved: I always read people’s salvation stories and they always remember when and how they made the decision to let Jesus into their hearts, when they had an encounter, narrowing it to dates, places and even times. Although I feel I’d already done it earlier, #Easter2017 was an encounter with Jesus for me. After a weekend of serving at church, the last celebration worship service revealed the Lord to me. And that’s my date and place: 16 April 2017 at Rivers Church, Sandton. Serving: Wife and I continue to serve the kids of Kidszone. She has now come into venues, I’ve now grown into lesson leader. It’s been such a blessing to plant into little lives. And at home?: I think we spend so much time in church, we are now bring church home. We’re a praying family and from time to time we discuss messages and even what we got from our bible plans. The goal is to never leave God in Sandton.

Work What work?: lol, I’ve finally resolved to leave my full time job, having finished on the 22nd. Work has been tough. I’ve been struggling, with the actual work but mostly with the people I worked with. I’ve over exerted myself. I’ve gone through multiple emotions which have not been great for my home life and my health. In the end, work was not working, the environment became poisonous and toxic, and so I followed the many who before me, left. And now?: In 2017 World8 has seen little success, in the work I did for Engaging. But other than that, a lot has not gone well, mostly due to a poor balancing act between it and my day job. Now, I have to make it work, in 2018, World8 becomes my day job. Big things coming.

Healthy, sort of Runner runner: I’ve completed 2 marathons this year. But it’s because of these marathons that I’ve figured I’m far from ready for an ultra. My next marathon will be in March again, but until then, I’ll be putting more training and effort into making 21′s more effortless. Clean sheet: I haven’t touched a cigarette in a calendar year. Boom. Doctor’s report: I’ve had a bit of a scare around October or so, thought my heart was starting to give me trouble again, even though I was told everything still looks okay, I should manage my stress and enviroments better.

Party life Started on a high: We started off 2017 with a string of parties with the Wolfies and the Wives - no one has stopped talking about it. Whenever we got together, we tried to replicate, and so Kb’s wedding because of that turned epic, just as mine did. We’ll see how this NYE pans out. Way of the wolf?: Lonesome isn’t it? That’s how the Wolfpack has felt this year - we met all of three (if not two) times. It’s still been fun though, we went out clubbing the last time - Ayepyep in Pretoria, hahaha... Party for two: WIfe and I attended a few good events between us two: our annual Cassper Fill Up (#FillUpFNB this time), as well as the DStv Delicious Festival. I didn’t know how much I wanted to see Common perform until I saw him perform.

So yah, that’s how my 2017 went down. Started it off really high, but by the middle of it, I had hit rock bottom, I’m talking church counselling bottom. But there’s only one way from here, and that’s up.

I’ve already started off fixing all that’s wrong in my life, and a few key words ring loud: consistency, commitment and preparation. So in 2018, I’ll be consistent, preparing before I do and will be committed to excellence.

[morego]

2016 - All of it

Let’s get right into it and cut the chit chat - here’s a review of my 2016.

Work At the office: This year has been mixed. I started off slow and frustrated as I hardly had work and was struggling to get used to the new people. Then I got used to them and the work started streaming in. It got all hectic which resulted in blunders and wins - the whole client seeing other client details saga comes to mind. We eventually had contractors come in to help and I learnt a heck of a lot from them. At the home office: I didn’t achieve what I had hoped for for World8 this year. The plan was to take advantage of ‘new job energy’ and turn it into ambition to get out of the system. I worked with a good friend on a mentorship venture, a lack commitment to it was what eventually messed up things.

Family Parenting: I’ve had a few parenting failures this year, failures I’ve learnt to deal and come to terms with as outside of my influence. I have however spent some good old quality time with my son this year. He spent some time with my family in Mafikeng for a week in June (I’m quite happy about this) prior to spending a few more days with me in Jozi. We did the September school break as well, that was pretty dope. Hitched: Undoubtedly the highlight of the year is getting married back in March. A lot of people would disagree but it’s quite awesome how it all panned out: we eloped to Durban, got married in an intimate ceremony, just me and my wife and the church staff. I would do it all over again and not change a thing. Oh, also the lobola negotiations are done, my wife is mine. My mother’s house: It hasn’t been a great relationship year for myself and my siblings, I mean I don’t even recall talking to my sister directly. It’s no surprise that we haven’t put up a tombstone. It’s something I need to figure out in the new year, I suspect disinterest. Some tough decisions will need to be made.

Spiritual Last year I wrote that I’m working towards being a church man. I’m a church man seriously now. We finished our partnership integration course and now partners. We got baptized. And for the last 5 odd months we’ve been serving in the Kidzone (Children’s church) ministry. I’m sure I have a 80%+ attendance rate at church. Who would have thought? Omphi and I don’t leave it at church though, we keep reading daily devotionals and refer to the bible frequently. We’re still struggling to get into a bible study routine but it’ll happen. It’s more than just about being spiritual or religious though, we’re fortunate to be part of an excellent church, so we stay plugged in in order to assimilate to the excellence.

Social Wolfpack: The Wolfpack hasn’t had an eventful year this year. Even though we met about 5 times, we only played poker once. The highlight of the year was a trip to Durban. Other than that we’ve just hung out to get totally wasted. Fun times. Events: Two major events come to mind this year: JCole and #FillUpOrlando. Both were absolutely off the charts but I feel I short changed myself with the former because I got too too wasted at the event, hardly saw the main act. We attended a few other family and work events, all those were fun. Also a few more sporty events, more on that below.

Health Running: So I run now. I wanna say really run but I need to run at least a marathon to say that (heey 2017). We’ve run a few calendar events, some more social than sporty but hey, it’s all fun, right? The Joburg 10k, Walk the Talk (our last one) and Adidas RYC (best ever event) come to mind. And the highlight has to be the Soweto Marathon. Though I only ran the half-marathon, it was exhilarating. Smoking: I don’t remember why started smoking again last year, but I stopped again early in the year. Infact, the plan was to stop for a few weeks so my face clears up and I look good for my wedding photos. It’s been more than 9 months now.

There’s been memes going around about ‘if 2016 was a person’ which shows a beat up old man. I don’t think it’s been that bad. Actually, had I put in just a little bit more effort this year, it would have been absolutely epic.

I’m taking a few things lessons with into 2017: Firstly a spirit of excellence. I want to do absolutely everything with maximum effort. Secondly, a spirit of urgency. Nothing should be put off for later. I mean, why wait?

Thank you 2016. You’ve been awesome.

2017 For the new year I’ll keep going with my monthly goals. But I’m chasing vision 2018 here, which has 2 things: 

Run an ultra marathon

Leave the country (oops, did I just say that? lol)

[morego]

2015 - The Rest of It

I wrote about how good a year 2015 had been, but that was only in March (hides). Well, this is how the rest of it turned out:

The parties

Delicious Fest: This was at the end of May. Man was Delicious delicious. I had such a great time there and just as we walked in, MuzArt was on stage. I love that band. Spent the day with my love walking around, you know, being happy! Met up with friends and the party continued at a bowling alley in the East Rand. Needless to say, I kicked ass. #FillUpTheDome: Homeboy had a big gig, went through with Omphi, lost my mind and my voice. Walked around in a vest and got turnt. Great day.

Fatherly Duties

Mo spent almost two weeks with us for his June/July holidays. I took off at work to spend it with him. I taught him to read the days of the week and how to color (properly, like an artist) in that week. We did a bunch of fun stuff, Disney on Ice, Ice Skating, Skate boarding. He’s been here for the December holiday as well. It was meant to be a Christmas visit but we are a week deep now, he’s only leaving on Sunday. I couldn’t take time off this time, Omphi has been great with him this week. I believe they have a bond outside of me now, and that means everything to me. I also went to Mo’s Swimming Gala on #FillUpTheDome day. I’ve never felt prouder. My son can swim. There’s one less black person who can’t swim... World, you’re welcome.

Swaziland

The Wolfpack took a trip to Swaziland in September. Yes, I stamped my passport again. We hired a VW Combi and went to go get drunk for two days in foreign land. We met some crazy people and soaked in some amazing views. The big thing though was spending time with my guys man. My guys. I love those dudes and I’m forever grateful for their friendship.

Healthier

I’m no longer exercising for a compliment by the way. I do it because I enjoy it. I do slighty longer (almost double) distances than a parkrun comfortably. And for the first time, I’ve hit Discovery Vitality Gold. Aah yes. Look, I don’t look like a runner, blame that on not great diet, but I got something.

Getting Engaged

May:Yes, I’m freaking engaged, to get married. I love Omphile. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I think I knew this since the Jan party already. My family accepted her and that meant everything to me. I went to a ‘Measure of a man’ elective at a church conference and realised there’s really no point in waiting. So that week in May I popped the question, she said yes and we’ve never been happier. August: In August I rounded up my aunts and uncles to go get me a wife in Bloemfontein. The whole lobola negotiation didn’t go as I anticipated, but it’s all good. Technically, I’m already married. We’ll finalise everything in 2016.

Growing Spiritually

Sometimes you don’t realise the value of a church conference until after a while. I look at my life now and I don’t understand my life before the conference. I’m a church man now, or atleast working towards it. Soon as Omphi and I are legally (and in the eyes of God) married, we’re signing up for church membership. I’m reading bible stuff most times. All in effort to have God top of mind. I want to have God at the center of my family. My life is better for it.

New Gig

After 6 odd years, I’ve taken the leap and left FedGroup. It was such an overwhelming thing to do, but that’s how it goes with comfort zones, difficult to let go of. I’ll make a good go of my new opportunities though. I feel more energised and ready to take on more.

Soft Details

I’ve got a goal thing going since about September this year. At the beginning of the month I write down a bunch of things I need to achieve in the month on a Spreadsheet and go for them. Daily I write down things I need to do during the day. It gives my life a form of feedback when I scratch off things as done.

To 2016

I have a few goals already jotted down for Jan and Feb, I hope to achieve them all. I hope for an even better year. I’m not going in blindly though, but I’m going in with high expectations, of myself.  Thank you 2015... You have undoubtedly been frigging awesome. I’d stay here a little longer, but I’ve got some growing up to do. God bless us all. Good night.

[morego]

To Health

I only really started working out in September 2013, though it’s been more on than off, fortunately, exercise is definitely a part of my life. I’ve completed two terms (working on a third one) of the Lifestyle Improvement programme at work. But the real real reason I’m here is I’m proud to have 10 park runs on my back as at this morning (yes, that’s 50kms). Add to that I broke my personal best which I’ve been struggling with for the last 8 runs. Thing is when I started I may have been overzealous and created a personal best of 41:22 only to struggle for the next 8 runs trying to beat it. Today, on my 10th run I finally beat it with a by over 4 minutes to come in at 37:17... BOOM! It’s taken a lot of practice, I spent hours on the treadmill to get my pace just right, though I never stuck to the right pace today, I have a routine and understand my body’s breaking points better because of the practice. I suspect not smoking has also helped. Yeah, I’m 5 weeks deep not smoking. I’ve managed poker night, work, a few idle days, pub night and a road trip without a cigarette. Surprisingly it hasn’t been as hard as I expected it to be. I think of it less and less now. I’ll keep pushing without a smoke and go for total health. Diet is next.

All in all I feel good. I’ll be signing up for marathons now. lol. Lesson: All this hasn’t been easy, not even close, but as the cliche goes, ‘Tough times don’t last, tough people do’. I’m a tough guy (no pun), too.

[morego]

Lately

Phew, aint been here in a long while... Here’s what 2015 has been like thus far.

The birthday bash

Growing up I never had a birthday party thrown in my honor. I guess I felt incomplete. It ought to have happened in 2013 when I first became serious about throwing my own birthday bash. Then it was pushed to 2014 but there was a wedding over my birthday weekend. So 2 years in the making, it finally happened on the 24th of January 2015. I was blessed by the company of all my family in Gauteng (which included a re-union between my elder brother, my sister and I). Very good friends came over and the general feedback is that a good time was had by all. Apparently I should have an annual Lesego’s birthday at the park. Omphile came through for me in getting this to fruition. I’m really glad I went ahead with it. Lesson: If you want things to happen, do them yourself.

Mo’s birthday shindig

I felt a little awkward having had my own birthday thing at the beginning of the year and not having something for my son. Budget unwilling and the day falling on a Tuesday, I did my best to make something happen. Drove to Bronkhorspruit in the morning - the plan was to be there first thing in the morning and get him ready for school myself. I’d been hectic with a side project and got there late. But I do think the day was special. Got cake, snacks, juice and a bunch of party packs filled with toys so the kids at creche can play together at some or other point (budget considerations meant I had to buy stuff and put it together to form party packs, lucky packets were expensive). He had a great day, and the party ensured everyone knew it was his day. I missed a day at the office (didn’t apply for leave even), but it was totally worth it. And nobody made an issue of it, even if they did, Family First! Lesson: We live anticipating the worst (in this case, backlash from the office), forgetting that we’re all human and humans have understanding (mostly anyway). Had I given in to this fear, my son wouldn’t have had a birthday, and I would have sucked.

Cape Town Jazz Fest

Last year I planned roadtripping to Cape Town in January, though I had not made solid plans and bookings, the intentions were disrupted by a break-in at home. Now, Omphile does the Cape Jazz every year and invited me to come with. I asked my roadtrip idea to be included in the trip and we be joined by 2 friends to share the cost of hiring a ‘one-way’ car. The trip was this past weekend (from the 25th March, for 5 days), and boy was it an awesome one, definitely a for the highlight reel. We drove from Gauteng to the Free State, to Lesotho, back into the Free State, to the Northern Cape and finally the Western Cape over two days - a slow drive to take in the country/ies. Cape Town was amazing, considering I hadn’t been there for over 20 years. Felt good. Ooh ooh, and my 10 year old passport was for the first time stamped. Beautiful experience in travel and friendship. Lesson: I’ve got lots of stuff, but stuff can’t take the place of experiences.

Other things

Work has been bloody tough, and quite rewarding. Towards the end of last year, I had been leading a work project to transform a system at the office. It’s been challenging and my character has been put to the test by time pressures, pessimists and unforseen challenges. Something fascinating happened during this project though, I noticed how bored I’ve been all along. Spent a long while without my usual distractions, news, comics, youtube, etc. because I’ve been genuinely busy, working towards something. I think I just need to figure out how to get the same motivation from home as well.

Late in 2014 my elder brother came to and we settled our differences. Because of that my mother’s house finally got a facelift. Yeah, after what has felt like forever, February 2015 would be the month of restoring dignity to our home. I’m still not convinced about the choice of colors but the are no words to describe the amount of relief this project has given me. I trust this is pleasing to my mother as well.

[morego]

Many drops fill a bucket

That's word from my former Math teacher Mrs Mulligan from Batswana Commercial Secondary. The school has been on a drive to raise funds to build/refurbish classrooms to complement deteriorating ones.

When I left Batswana in 2001, the school (and buildings) were near perfect, I think. Anyway, in the last two odd years there've been messages on facebook calling for former learners to help the school out as the situation was worsening. Personally I haven't been to the school to see for myself (planning a visit for other reasons), but I finally heeded the call and made a contribution.

I received a call acknowledging the funds a short while ago with a very grateful Mrs Mulligan on the other line. An humbling (and oddly ego-inflating) moment.

Lesson learned from this: Every drop counts. Word is that another former student (and big wig) contributed a whopping R250k odd toward the project (which needs about R4m). Though my contribution isn't even 5% of this, it makes a difference, it is a much needed drop to the 'bucket'. From that call, I've also been made to feel I contributed R250k, which is another lesson, be grateful, always.

[morego]

Exercisng for a compliment

I've started exercising, again. I'd started about two months ago then stopped, then started again two weeks ago. I'm on a Nike+ kinect training program. A few days ago I unlocked the 500 minutes achievement - yay!

Anyway, the reason I'm happy about this is because today I received my first compliment. Apparently I look good today, I'm wearing my usual work clothes so it has to be the toned bod :-).

I've been going through some stresses lately and exercise was recommended as a form of relief. I think it's working. I feel better and my days are more lively which is awesome. I also enjoy a few of the effects of it - water tastes so good while I'm at it, the shower after is the best (apparently because my pores are still open and hence the intensity of the 'shower feel').

I wanna go to Cape Town this December, I'm working on my beach/summer bod, hehehe.

[morego]

The year that was

This morning was somewhat surreal as I got into my car to get to work. It was a year and two days ago that I moved in to the place I'm in today. 

So last year I took the hard decision to move out of a comfortable three bedroom townhouse in Midrand that I shared with a friend for 3 years to move into a small bachelor cottage in Westdene. Things hadn't been awesome in Midrand but still I was dreading the 'downgrade'.

I struggled with taxis in the morning of the 3rd to get to the office and struggled much more on the same evening to get home, having had to to walk a kilometer at some point because taxis had run out for home - I didn't know in Westdene you don't go home as late as I was used to. sigh.

The downgrade turned out to be a blessing of sorts and a lot of great came out of it.

I started off killing debt. Paying much less in rent allowed me this. Although my mom would eventually come through for me, I was less in debt than I'd ever been

My girlfriend moved in, and it was our space exclusively. It was great while it lasted.

My son finally moved in too and my little family finally existed together as it should have. The simpler life now meant I could afford the finances of all of this.

I had a little bit more time, for work, and that paid off - resulting in the arrival of the car (named Ms Kerry). Kerry also came with her own blessings, more places are within reach now, the limitation of public transport are no longer of concern. Instead of just going to Mafikeng or Witbank we went a lot further, a real holiday. Graskop was amazing.

I've also been closer than I'd ever been with my sister since being closer (distance) to her. The same goes to my two best friends.

And finally I've spent a little bit of alone time that I'd craved for for long - think I found a sense of self along the way.

It hasn't all ended like a fairy-tale though, reasons of which are not the topic of this blog, but it has all meant progress. It's crazy that I was scared of it, yet it worked out. So, as the Sepedi saying goes: 'Go chechela morago ha se go tshaba, ke go tseya maatla' - literally meaning taking a step back is not fleeing, but gathering strength/energy. A pat on the back is deserved. Cheers to the risk.

The quest for better has long started. I've taken the step back, now it's time to leap.

[morego]

Parenting things

My son has been in creche in Joburg for a full month now, with the exception of the 2 or 3 days he was sick. He needs to be ready for his pickup at 7h27 every weekday morning and although I share the responsibility of getting him ready with his mom, I have to wake him up and bath him and I'm proud to say he's never been late all month.

It's a big deal, a bit of a culture shock - getting up on time every morning, having to prepare someone else instead of getting up whenever, deciding on the morning whether to rush or not. I've been pushing back his moving in for a while, nervous about whether I'll cope and 'deliver', so to speak, the day he starts living with me and his mom.

I even use bath time as a bonding session, striking conversation, teaching him about his body parts in different languages.

I'm just glad it worked out so well. We're good because of it, we're awesome.

[morego]

6 Months

In July of 2012 I contracted Bronchopneumonia (I just found out that people die from this shit while looking for a link). Awful awful 2 weeks. I used to smoke before that. I used to say I'm no nicotine slave - can quit whenever I like, smoke because I enjoy it; that sort of thing, typical smoker excuses.

I had an epiphany when I found myself smoking (painstakingly at that) outside in the cold of the Johannesburg winter - I'm a slave to this shit. I had one last ciggy in the box, I smoked it later and never bought another smoke since, never bummed one from anyone, nothing.

It was never easy. Two days are easy, even a week is easy, but after that it gets intense. You notice everyone is smoking (way too many people smoke), with your new hightened sense of smell, you smell the tobacco from far, on people who last smoked more than 2 hours ago. The cravings get intense, I still get the shakes sometimes at night.

I'm far from over this. I feel likethe cigarettes are saying to me: "jeepers guy, you've proved your point, we get it, can we be buddies again now?!". A few puffs can lead me into a slippery slope of relapses. But I must soldier on. I just need to update my life and medical policies now, just to solidify this no-smoking thing I'm on.

I did good. I'm proud of me.

[morego]

2012

I haven't posted in a while, so you'd expect this to be a bumper edition - unfortunately. And not that I haven't achieved anything since my last post either, possibly because I haven't appreciated my successes thus far.

I'm on my third drink, 20 minutes to a new year, 2013, I'm attempting to take stock. It won't be comprehensive, but I need to do say it in 2012.

I started this blog in February for my personal self esteem (hello world post here)... it's been somewhat good for me, I just need more frequent posts to realise it's usefulness.

There's been a lot of home-work (as in work at my mother's home) this year, being my mother's estate executor and all. I've mentioned it once or twice before. I'm proud of what I've done to keep my mom's house up. It's not in the greatest of shapes, but I hope she'd be proud.

I've had my most productive year at work this year. I've had some creative coding breakthroughs, I've started and completed a major project (I'll link the experience in an article later). This year's been easily my greatest, never mind best, output year and I'm proud of myself for it.

I've kept and honored a few resolutions, I've mentioned that a few times too (check here and here).

I even quit smoking, chasing the six month milestone. More on that later.

Hmm... I thought there'd be more. Maybe I can't remember everything right now.

Oh well, Cheers to 2013.

[morego]

Handy

My microwave took time out a couple of weeks ago. I don't blame it though, sometimes I think I'm the only person left on this planet who thinks you should not put metallic things inside the microwave... smh.

Anyway, instead of taking it in somewhere, or calling someone to come over to have a look at it, which is the expensive and expected thing to do for appliances, I did a bit of Googling, and to my surprise, the diagnosis from the top site was spot on - blown fuse. I bought a replacement fuse, followed the incredibly spot on instructions, now my wave is back in action. *pats self on back.

It wasn't easy finding the fuse though. Who knew you can only get this at a hardware shop? *shrugs and walks away.

[morego]

5 Whole Weeks

It's actually 36 days since my last cigarette. Pretty chuffed with myself. It hasn't been easy, it still isn't; but I'm hoping it will be from now on since I've reached and surpassed the 35 day goal. I meant to test the theory that it takes 35 days to drop a habit (edit: I've just found out it's actually 40, 35 is to pass drug tests), hopefully now that I'm not obsessing over a goal I can actually forget about smoking.

How awesome am I though? :-)

[morego]

Import Scripts

Wrote a bunch of data import scripts for a Borrowers project I'm working on. Pretty chuffed that they ran pretty well, and didn't embarrass me :-). It took about a week or so to write and a minute for each of them to run, haha.

Was not sure what I was doing when I started this, but just like the export scripts I wrote two months ago, the end was in mind. This makes almost half of the project, but a worthwhile high-five non-the-less.