morethanasavageguy - Tumblr blog

[morethanasavageguy]

I became so numb from all this self-sabotage. So hurt that scars don’t even bother me anymore. Listening to my own voice inside my head saying “Everything will be alright. It has to be!” everyday like it’s my lighthouse, trying to guide me through this shit... but I guess I’m just blind. I can’t see the light right now so I guess I’ll just continue my journey through this darkness.

Untill I will see the light.

[morethanasavageguy]

“First day of November”

[morethanasavageguy]

Flooding Thoughts by Tasha Marie Via Flickr

[morethanasavageguy]

[morethanasavageguy]

[morethanasavageguy]

[morethanasavageguy]

[morethanasavageguy]

The last days were like a hurricane, it all went from heaven to hell and back with a speed that made me numb and dizzy. People just want to experience a happy life and have a clear road ahead of them but it never happens the way they want. I want to make this post about me, about my last 4 days. But I can’t because I know I’m not the only one that felt what I have. Someone once told me that nothing is random about this life and I’ll always have something to learn from my mistakes. But with what cost? I’m laying on the floor with my heart crushed. Sticks and stones did break my bones and reality hit me like a bullet right through my head. I’ll never learn. I’ll never be as I want to be. And now I’m crawling torwards my last hope: me. Picture this: You’re starring at yourself, crushed to pieces and trying to get up. For now I’ll just stare at myself untill I’ll have the power to pick myself up and continue....

[morethanasavageguy]

[morethanasavageguy]

[morethanasavageguy]

One day I’ll be gone, somewhere far away from your life. Maybe on another continent or another planet full of people like me that had too much hopes for human kind. Or maybe I’ll just be alone looking for a piece of silence to reflect on my past interactions with you. I wonder how are you gonna live the rest of your life without me in it? Will you ever reach the best version of you without me? Will you ever make the right move? I don’t think so...

Your life is welded to mine because you find something special in me, something unique in this world that can move mountains and change paths. There’s no place for modesty here, we both know that.

But still you took everything for granted and now I feel neglected. It’s time for me to move forward without you. I hope to find a better person for my kind of love, you’re not the one who deserves me. And you’ll never be. I’m sorry.

[morethanasavageguy]

📍Meet me here / Meet me there / Meet me nowhere and everywhere📍 (at Parcul Cișmigiu)

[morethanasavageguy]

“Red: bold, set in his ways, very grown-up, almost gruff and ill-tempered—stay away. Yellow: sprightly, buoyant, funny, not without barbs—don’t give in too easily; might turn to red in no time. Green, which he seldom wore: acquiescent, eager to learn, eager to speak, sunny—why wasn’t he always like this?”  

Call Me By Your Name dir. Luca Guadagnino

[morethanasavageguy]

[morethanasavageguy]

I can’t sleep, just like that night. I stayed up, watching you sleep wondering what was on your mind. Wondering when the universe pictured us meeting, if our starts aligned. Wondering if there would be a last time for us to lay down just as we did that night. Time went by so flawlessly, so fast, I stared at you until my eyes grew weary and even then I couldn’t sleep. I wondered if deep inside you really wanted me to be there or if it was just so obvious that I was full of pain and ached for love, so you pitied me. In reality, I wasn’t full of anything. Well at least now I’m sure I’m not. Empty, vacant, unoccupied—Abandoned. Such a reoccurring theme in my life. Whatever. Somehow I fell asleep as soon as the light began to crawl. When everyone’s asleep, I’m awake playing with the lost and disregarded thoughts thrown into the unwanted pile of this world. They belong to me, they dance over my head until my soul surrenders and my body responds, then I sleep. Finally. All of a sudden I am awaken by the soft meet of your skin to mine. I felt your fingers gracing across the surface of my hip and slowly moving down to my leg. It was a wonderful awakening, my heart began to race, my lips quivered and I turned over to see that you were still sleep. I didn’t know whether to smile or to be disappointed. Were you dreaming of me? Am I on your unconscious mind? Or are you imagining the comfort of someone else? I could never know. I turned back over. I remember wishing you felt what I felt. Intensity. Every moment with you, I cherished and I feared. Even watching you sleep terrified me because it was like being on time out as a kid when all you really want is to play outside. Well, when you woke up, you took another piece of my away. Your hands wrapped around my body, your lips slither all over my skin, you travel to places inside of me unknown by the rest of the world and I cry aloud “I love you.” I wish I would’ve said more. I wish all the words I know went to use, I wish I found the right ones to say. But that probably still wouldn’t have stopped you from leaving. If you were poison then I was ready to die. What a fool.

daniellegazi (via wnq-writers)

[morethanasavageguy]

RECLUSIVE

[morethanasavageguy]

you’re never where you want to be… trapped by your own thoughts