morganbritton132

[morganbritton132]

Wait, hold on. I just realized that I’ve already made this post before lol

AU where Eddie works at a liquor store and Steve keeps coming in to buy alcohol. With a fake ID. That Eddie made and sold to him.

He keeps refusing to sell but Steve keeps coming back anyways because he likes the flirting. Also because he’s stealing.

[morganbritton132]

[morganbritton132]

gives you a badjob. a weirdjob. doing some unusual shit to your penis.

[morganbritton132]

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

[morganbritton132]

met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

[morganbritton132]

This is who is leading the NYC mayoral democratic primary rn

[morganbritton132]

i love seeing cardinals and bluejays together i’m always like “hehe.. evil siblings”

[morganbritton132]

[morganbritton132]

So this comment section on a tiktok about insane things people ask at aquariums is a goldmine

[morganbritton132]

Important note:

This liquor store is in Hawkins, a small town where everybody knows who Steve is and how old he is.

AU where Eddie works at a liquor store and Steve keeps coming in to buy alcohol. With a fake ID. That Eddie made and sold to him.

He keeps refusing to sell but Steve keeps coming back anyways because he likes the flirting. Also because he’s stealing.

[morganbritton132]

AU where Eddie works at a liquor store and Steve keeps coming in to buy alcohol. With a fake ID. That Eddie made and sold to him.

He keeps refusing to sell but Steve keeps coming back anyways because he likes the flirting. Also because he’s stealing.

[morganbritton132]

Steve, age seven: *watches his mom be nice to another kid at a party*

Steve, going up to the kid: That’s not true, what she said.

Steve: She said you look handsome in your bow tie but she’s lying. She didn’t mean it.

Steve: She thinks you look like a butt.

Steve: And I heard her say that you stink. Like farts.

Steve: You’re a big stinky butt.

Tommy:

Tommy, his best friend:

[morganbritton132]

she asked me if i cain kill her with a rock i said i might be abel to

[morganbritton132]

[morganbritton132]

au where steve/eddie/robin are hanging out at eddie’s and out of the blue robin asks the room “how long is your ideal hug?”

and with zero hesitation steve replies “at least 45 minutes. probably a good hour or two if i could swing it”

eddie and robin blink.

robin: …i don’t think that’s very realistic, dingus

steve, still reading his magazine and not at all paying attention to the way robin and eddie are Looking at him: *scoffs bitchily* you said ideal, rob, not realistic

and this is where steve will swear that robin and eddie have developed their own psychic link because the next thing he knows, eddie is yanking steve down so he’s laying on top of eddie on the couch and robin is laying down on top of him and: “guys what the fUck”

robin and eddie, in unison: steve sandwich

steve, softly but with feeling: what the fuck

eddie: let us give you your ideal hug, okay sweetheart?

steve, dying inside but also fucking Living: …okay c:

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(originally posted on bluesky here)

[morganbritton132]

Woo! My birthday not acknowledged which is great for me because I don’t want that.

Unfortunately, my supervisor was like, “Morgan, do you want to tell everyone where we are with ipera.”

So I was still acknowledged but in a worse way.

I have a department meeting in two hours where they’re going to start by telling everybody all the June birthday and I would like to not be acknowledged.

[morganbritton132]

My official position is that Luigi Mangione is innocent because he's not the real killer and whoever the real killer is is also innocent. Two different people who are both innocent.