morphocaeruleus

[morphocaeruleus]

Sadt.

Wala naman may paki... pero I feel sad. Imagine working when everyone else is asleep.

Sana pala taga US kinuha ko.. CHAR

[morphocaeruleus]

Disappointment

I’m quite disappointed with myself.

[morphocaeruleus]

A sudden realization

Dapat pala, hindi ka masyadong open sa tao. My friend opened up to me and ended up getting hurt kasi I know too much and did things without thinking twice. I’m too open sa tao sa paligid ko. Not hiding anything and in the end, they still don’t understand where I’m coming from. I kind of get where my other friend was coming from when she posted that we don’t understand her. Kasi minsan pala we just listen and think of solutions sa bagay na ayaw naman solusyonan ng tao kasi they just need moral support. Iba pag nasa receiving end ka na. Bilis ng karma ko.  Sorry sa lahat ng nasaktan ko noon. Kasi tingin ko they need help when they just need someone to listen.

I’ve learned my lesson. 

[morphocaeruleus]

I always wanna die, sometimes.

I want to escape.  I want to disappear.

[morphocaeruleus]

I gave up everything for you But you accused me of the very thing I despise

To say that I am mad is an understatement.

I want you to feel the same pain I felt But revenge isn’t something I want to do in this lifetime.

[morphocaeruleus]

You broke me

You broke me When you said that I’ll leave You broke me When you said trust wasn’t there You broke me When all I ever wanted was you

[morphocaeruleus]

I've been waiting for something or someone to save me from this I can't act like I'm fine when I'm not anymore and it hurts Sleep, wake, repeat And I'm underneath Reaching out for a hand 'cause the hurt makes it harder to be Breathing out as I watch every season go by in complete Sleep, wake, repeat

barely bleeding

[morphocaeruleus]

CAN I JUST SAY THIS?

I finally found a husband material boyfriend. 

I took me years to finally be this happy.

I’m happy he’s all that I hoped for.

[morphocaeruleus]

I’m back.

I mean, I don’t have a physical diary as of the moment and I am hoping this will cover for the mean time. No one reads my entries here anyway. LOL

[morphocaeruleus]

To the guy I never got the chance to say goodbye...

I'm sorry. I know I've been selfish. I never wrote you a letter because I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't ready to let go of your memory because it gives me comfort. You were the first guy who looked at me and thought I was beautiful. You thought I was intelligent and that I deserve more than I think I ever would. I remember crying myself to sleep, calling out your name desperately, hoping you'd at least show up in my dreams. How foolish I was to think I would have the privilege of seeing you again one last time. But you are always good to me even when I don't deserve your grace. Thank you for giving me light. Thank you for giving me hope. I will set you free from this day onward. Thank you for making me happy, even when it was for a brief moment. As Hazel Grace told Augustus, "you gave me infinity within numbered days," and I will be forever grateful. Wherever you are, I hope you're happy. You're in a world without chains now. Rest easy. I will forever bask in your steady glow.

[morphocaeruleus]

5 Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate | Psych2Go X Christian V. 

[morphocaeruleus]

Best friend slash siblings. 💕 Day well spent with them💕😍 Misshu agad!

[morphocaeruleus]

If, for some reason, I feel like I belong, I will leave this town peacefully. I just want to feel na finally, sa wakas, I am the missing piece to the puzzle. And I'll continue to be the missing piece. I just want to fit perfectly. Kahit isang beses lang. =)

[morphocaeruleus]

To my younger self...

I always knew you were struggling with something.

I knew you were struggling with something that you even don't know of.

I would like to say stay on the lighted path and never lose your light of hope.

But I'm too late.

It's dark here. Don't go near.

Go save yourself.

Run away as far as you can because reality bites. Harder at times.

There are times when I wish you never continued. I'm proud of you because you fought hard. And I wanted to apologize for failing you. Because I couldn't go on now.

I'm sorry all of your efforts are in vain.

I'm sorry for letting you down just like I always do.

Thank you for not giving up and for giving me 21 years to enjoy.

Let's leave this place together.

[morphocaeruleus]

Struggle

People have known me for being hot tempered, tantrum throwing, bratty kid who doesn't know how to stop when she's consumed by anger. I'm known for being a bad person, attacking my opponents through harsh words that could both be real or not.

I was never known to be soft heart nor passionate. I was always lazy and happy-go-lucky. I was always tough and hard headed. If there's an award for most negative traits, I'd probably bagged the first place and would be place on Guinness until such time that the world decides to create a more sinister person.

I'm tired. I'm tired of explaining myself. I'm tired of finding my place in this world. I'm tired of changing myself so I could fit in. I've always been a puzzle piece that is made to fit the picture only because I was the only piece available. I would always stand out not because I was great or remarkable but because I don't fit so well.

I'm trying so hard to fit but I'm tired and I want to stop trying and just stay where I am until the universe decides to end my agony.

I'm at this point where, if someone would try to kill me, I'd take his weapon and do it myself. I've never been significant in my entire life. Nobody would feel terrible if I disappeared, right? They won't even notice it. Right?

I thought I was able to conquer all my demons. I didn't know I was just trying to delay it from consuming me. They're wrong. I was never tough. I was always weak. I was always weak that I don't even have the strength now to fight whatever this is that's eating me up.

I've already sunk deep in the abyss. There's no light, only darkness. There's no hope, only despair. There's no joy, only agony. There's no one else, but only me.

It has won the battle. I can no longer extend my stay.

Where can you buy that briquettes? I'd love to light my way with that one.

[morphocaeruleus]

Time's up

I actually asked for a week.

I have overstayed

I'll see you soon, papa.

[morphocaeruleus]

I've been dying to say goodbye to everyone